The One With Princess Consuela

Mike

(raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.

（举起酒杯）谢谢你们邀请我们来做客。

Phoebe

Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.

哦！是啊，情侣之夜真有意思。

Chandler

Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.

是啊，真不知道我们为什么不多和已婚夫妇一起玩。

Monica

Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.

还不是因为每次一起玩，你就开换妻的玩笑，把人家都吓跑了。

Chandler

You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)

你是说那对葡萄牙夫妇？是啊，换你也会这么做的。（莫妮卡耸耸肩）

Ross

(entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.

（走进来）嘿，大伙……我有好消息。

Monica

Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.

罗斯，我们还在吃饭呢。

Ross

Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...

哦，我已经吃过了，没事……！（罗斯拿起一个盘子，众人面面相觑）猜猜我今天上班发生了什么……

Chandler

A dinosaur died a million years ago?

一百万年前有只恐龙灭绝了？

Ross

Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.

是六千五百万年前，还有，嘘……我的终身教职评审委员会今天开会了，听说结果特别好。

Phoebe

Wow!

哇！

Ross

Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.

是啊。你们知道这在学术界意味着什么吗？我要稳了。

Rachel

(while entering) Hi you guys.

（走进来）嗨，大伙。

All

Hey.

嗨。

Rachel

Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate)

哦，意大利菜！（她也拿起一个盘子）

Monica

No one wanted seconds, right?

没人想再添点，对吧？

Ross

No, no. I-I'm good.

不用，我够了。

Rachel

Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.

嘿，大伙……你们绝对想不到。有个猎头给我打电话了，明天我要去古驰面试，古驰想要我。

Ross

I'm up for tenure.

我要评上终身教职了。

Rachel

Congratulations!

恭喜！

Ross

You too! What are the odds?

你也是！太巧了吧？

Rachel

Ooh! (they hug)

哦！（两人拥抱）

Joey

(enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.

（走进来）猜猜怎么着？（众人期待地看着他）我终于把牙缝里的那颗籽弄出来了。

Monica

I don't know who I'm happiest for...

我都不知道该为谁高兴了……

Phoebe

I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)

我知道，他一整天都在抠那颗籽！（看着乔伊）

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Phoebe

Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?

嘿，莫？把名字改成盖勒-宾会不会怪怪的？

Monica

No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)

不会，能正式用这个名字感觉挺好的。（拍了拍钱德勒的腿）

Phoebe

Where did you go to do it?

你去哪儿办的手续？

Monica

Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau...

嗯……姓名……管理局……办事处……

Chandler

YOU NEVER DID IT!

你根本没去办！

Monica

I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.

抱歉嘛，就是觉得正式成为宾家的人有点别扭。

Chandler

Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.

嘿！我得告诉你……唉，算了，我自己都不信。以后孩子姓盖勒吧，宾这个姓跟我一起带进坟墓好了。

Mike

(walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.

（端着咖啡走到沙发边，递给菲比）给你。

Phoebe

Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?

谢谢！亲爱的，你想让我随你的姓吗？

Mike

Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.

嗯，这个……你自己决定吧，这是你的名字，你以后一直用。

Phoebe

All right, let's see, call me Mrs. Hannigan.

行，我想想，叫我汉尼根夫人吧。

Chandler

(pretending to call her.) Mrs. Hannigan?

（假装喊她）汉尼根夫人？

Phoebe

(loudly and crossly) What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? (smiling) Ooh, I like it.

（大声生气地）干嘛？没看见我正忙着吗？（笑着说）哦，我喜欢这个感觉。

Joey

(enters) Hey guys.

（走进来）嘿，大伙。

Chandler

Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?

嘿，乔！我们要去新房子看看，检查点东西，一起去吗？

Joey

No, thank you.

不了，谢谢。

Monica

All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.

别这样，我知道你不想我们搬家，但就你一个人还没看过房子呢。

Chandler

Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.

是啊，一起去吧，你会发现离市区很近的。

Joey

But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.

才不近呢，你们说还在托管中？我在地图上都找不到那地方。

Monica

Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.

乔伊，求你了，一起去吧，这对我们很重要。

Joey

You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!

行吧，你们是我朋友，我得支持你们，我跟你们去。我要坐副驾！

Chandler

Damn it.

可恶。

Monica

See you guys later.

回头见，大伙。

Phoebe

Okay!

好！

Monica

(to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.

（对乔伊说）十一点我来接你，真高兴你愿意来。

Phoebe

Good for you. That was really mature.

真不错，你刚才表现得特别成熟。

Joey

What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.

成熟？才不是，我去他们那破房子，就是为了找出所有毛病，让他们别搬家，留在这儿。

Mike

You're a strange kind of grown-up.

你这成年人可真够特别的。

Phoebe

Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...

乔伊，你不能强迫别人做不想做的事。相信我，我一直想让迈克在床上做点事，可他就是……

Mike

Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?

哎哎哎……咱能别聊这个吗？

Phoebe

All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.

行吧，老古板……听着，莫妮卡和钱德勒真的很喜欢那房子，你劝不动他们留下的。

Joey

Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?

嘿，我能说服别人做任何事，我打赌我能让迈克做那件事，到底是什么事？

(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)

（菲比凑到乔伊耳边小声说了几句，乔伊听完震惊地跳了起来）

Joey

I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)

我才不帮你做那种事！再见！（乔伊离开）

Rachel

(to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.

（对餐厅领班说）你好，我来见古驰的坎贝尔先生。预订信息应该写的是古驰，拼法像Gukki，可能会搞混。

Maitre d'

Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.

坎贝尔先生还没到，我带你去他的座位。

(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is Mr. Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)

（两人走向餐桌，瑞秋突然倒吸一口凉气，她现在拉尔夫·劳伦的老板泽尔纳先生正坐在那里）

Rachel

Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.

天啊！那是我老板，你得给我们换个位置。

Maitre d'

I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's table.

抱歉，这一直是坎贝尔先生的固定座位。

Rachel

But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.

可我老板不能看见我，我在面试新工作。

Maitre d'

I know. With Gukki

我知道，是Gukki。

Rachel

Sssshhhh!

嘘！

Mr Zellner

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Rachel

Hi... I'm on a date...

嗨……我在约会……

Mr Zellner

(confused) That's great!

（困惑地）挺好的！

Rachel

Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.

是啊，挺好的。你知道，单亲妈妈兼顾事业不容易，总得出来社交嘛。

Mr Zellner

Well, you got uhm... good energy.

嗯，你状态挺好的。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Mr Campbell

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Rachel

Yes, hi!

是，你好！

Mr Campbell

James Campbell...

我是詹姆斯·坎贝尔。

Rachel

Hi! (to Mr. Zellner) Excuse us.

你好！（对泽尔纳先生说）失陪一下。

Mr Campbell

Please... (shows her to sit)

请坐。（示意她坐下）

Rachel

Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to Mr. Zellner) Oh he's cute!

好的。哦，对了……（小声对泽尔纳先生说）他长得挺帅！

Mr Campbell

So... your resumé is quite impressive. (Mr Zellner who sits behind Rachel shrugs)

你的简历非常出色。（坐在瑞秋身后的泽尔纳先生耸了耸肩）

Rachel

Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.

什么……简历？我才不会把我的网上约会资料叫简历呢。

Mr Campbell

Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.

约会资料？我说的是工作简历。

Rachel

(starts singing la la la la) Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?

（开始哼歌）现在的人怎么都不爱随便哼歌了呢？

Mr Campbell

Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?

可能别人觉得奇怪吧……你为什么想离开拉尔夫·劳伦？

Rachel

What? I-I don't.

什么？我不想离开啊。

Mr Campbell

You don't?

不想？

Rachel

No, I-I-I love it there.

是啊，我很喜欢那里。

Mr Campbell

Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?

那你不想离开，我们为什么还要一起吃午饭面试？

(Rachel mimes and mouths to Mr. Campbell "That is my boss", pointing to Mr. Zellner)

（瑞秋对着坎贝尔先生用口型比划，指向泽尔纳先生，示意“那是我老板”）

Mr Campbell

What?

什么？

(Rachel now silently whispers "That's my boss".)

“那是我老板。”）

Mr Campbell

That's Hugo Boss?

是雨果·博斯？

(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr. Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)

（瑞秋无奈地扶着额头，泽尔纳先生显然听到了他们的对话）

Phoebe

(to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.

（对身后的女人说）这地方太压抑了，要是我在这儿工作，我肯定要疯了。（她转过身，柜台后的工作人员听到了她的话）不过你显然没疯。

Clerk

How can I help you?

需要办理什么业务？

Phoebe

I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.

我要改名字。我改名字是因为我在躲避法律制裁。（工作人员面无表情）你真无趣。

Clerk

You need to fill out this form. (motions for the next person in line)

填一下这张表。（示意下一位）

Phoebe

Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?

好的，我不太清楚具体流程。我姓布菲，我丈夫姓汉尼根，我该叫布菲-汉尼根还是汉尼根-布菲？

Clerk

It can be anything you want.

你想叫什么都行。

Phoebe

Well, not anything, I mean...

也不是随便什么都行吧……

Clerk

Yeah... anything.

是的，随便。

Phoebe

Oh, this could take a while.

哦，那我得好好想想。

Clerk

Get out of my line.

别在这儿磨蹭了。

Phoebe

Okay.

好吧。

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hey Pheebs.

嘿，菲比。

Phoebe

Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.

别叫了，我今天改名字了。

Monica

Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.

抱歉，汉尼根夫人。

Phoebe

Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

又错了！原来可以随便改名字，我想趁机发挥一下想象力。现在请叫我康斯韦拉公主·香蕉吊床。

Chandler

That's what we were gonna name the baby.

这名字我们本来打算给孩子用的。

Monica

Phoebe!

菲比！

Phoebe

Uh! Princess Consuela.

是康斯韦拉公主。

Monica

You seriously changed your name to that?

你真改成这个名字了？

Phoebe

Uh-huh!

嗯！

Monica

Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?

好吧，那以后我们都得叫你康斯韦拉公主了？

Phoebe

Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.

不用，我让朋友们叫我瓦莱丽。

(Rachel enters, looking depressed)

（瑞秋走进来，神情低落）

Chandler

Hey, how'd the interview go?

嘿，面试怎么样？

Rachel

Oh! It's not good.

唉，不太好。

Chandler

You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.

我每次面试完也这么觉得，肯定比你想的好。

Rachel

Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.

我没拿到古驰的工作，还被拉尔夫·劳伦解雇了。

Chandler

That is a bad interview.

这面试确实够糟的。

Phoebe

What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?

怎么回事啊？怎么会这样？

Rachel

Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.

我面试的餐厅正好碰到我老板，他全听到了。后来他把我叫到办公室，说要解雇我，说我没有团队精神。我说“我有啊”，结果他花了45分钟证明，我确实没有。

Monica

Oh God. I'm so sorry.

天啊，太遗憾了。

(Ross enters with a bottle in his hand)

（罗斯拿着一瓶酒走进来）

Ross

Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? (showing the bottle) Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?

嘿！哇！这是什么？（举起酒瓶）一瓶香槟，怎么会在这儿？

Phoebe

Ross...

罗斯……

Ross

I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!

因为我拿到终身教职了！

All (except Rachel): Congratulations! (Rachel looks devastated)

恭喜！（瑞秋神情崩溃）

Ross

This is the single greatest day of my professional career. Gunther, six glasses!

这是我职业生涯里最棒的一天！冈瑟，拿六个杯子！

Gunther

Six? You want me to join you?

六个？你要一起喝？

Ross

Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.

哦，我以为乔伊在呢，五个吧。（冈瑟受伤地离开）明天我的咖啡里肯定会有他的口水。

Chandler

Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!

哦！以色列香槟，还是香草味的！

Ross

I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?

我拿到终身教职又不是中彩票……嘿，瑞秋，你的事怎么样了？

Rachel

Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.

挺好的！不过结果要过几天才出来。

Ross

Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.

你肯定能拿到，我有预感。

Phoebe

Can you?

是吗？

Rachel

Ah, all right. Here's to Ross!

好吧，为罗斯干杯！

Ross

And-and to years of hard work finally paying off.

为多年努力终于有回报干杯！

Phoebe

And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything. (Rachel mouths "aah")

为明白事业不是一切干杯。（瑞秋无声叹气）

Ross

But also knowing it means a lot.

但事业也很重要。

Monica

But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.

更重要的是，为圆满丰富的生活干杯。

Ross

...that center around work.

……以工作为中心的生活。

Chandler

To Ross!

为罗斯干杯！

All (except Rachel): Ross!

罗斯！

(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)

（众人喝了香槟，显然都觉得不好喝）

Ross

You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.

你们知道最棒的是什么吗？我永远不会被解雇了。

Phoebe

Oh God!

天啊！

Ross

No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.

真的，我有终身工作保障，再也不用操心了。（瑞秋开始哭）你看你，为我高兴成这样。

Rachel

(crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.

（哭着说）不是，我今天被解雇了，新工作也没拿到。

Ross

Rach, I'm so sorry.

瑞秋，太抱歉了。

Rachel

Oh!

唉！

Ross

Great. I feel like an idiot.

完了，我像个傻瓜。

Rachel

No, it's okay, you didn't know.

没事，你不知道。

Ross

Oh... (to the others) Little heads-up would have been nice.

唉……（对其他人说）早说一声也好啊。

Monica

Thank you for letting us see the house again.

谢谢你带我们再看一次房子。

Chandler

And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.

也谢谢你跟我们解释托管是什么意思……我已经忘了，但还是谢谢。

Realtor

Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through. (she leaves the room)

慢慢看，看完叫我就行。（离开房间）

Monica

Ah, so glad you decided to come.

真高兴你愿意来。

Joey

Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.

我也是，这房子真棒，真为你们高兴。不过，希望你们喜欢霉菌。

Chandler

What?

什么？

Joey

Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.

霉菌啊，这房子到处都是。

Monica

No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.

才没有，我们做过检查，没发现问题。

Joey

Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.

好吧，那我眼睛干、喉咙痒就是没原因了。

Monica

Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.

可能是你一路上像狗一样把头伸出窗外吹的。

Joey

Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark. (starts feeling around him like he's in a completely dark room, touching Chandler, who backs out and hits him)

有可能。这就是客厅啊？好暗啊。（开始摸索，像在漆黑的房间里，摸到钱德勒，钱德勒后退撞到他）

Monica

No it's not!

才不暗！

Joey

(squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!

（眯着眼）开玩笑吧？我刚看到角落里有只蝙蝠！

Chandler

When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?

你把头伸出窗外的时候，没撞到邮箱吧？

Joey

(glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.

（瞪了他一眼，不情愿地承认）有可能。我就是觉得你们能找个更好的房子，甚至没必要买房。

Monica

Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.

乔伊，我们知道你不想我们搬家，但我们真的很喜欢这里。

Joey

FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

行吧，你们这么喜欢就住这儿吧。希望你们能习惯奇怪的嗡嗡声。（转过身开始哼）嗯……

Monica

Joey, we know that's you.

乔伊，我们知道是你在哼。

Joey

no... hmmmmm... it's not... hmmmmmmmmmm

不是……嗯……不是……嗯……

Mike

Hey (He kisses Phoebe)

嘿。（亲吻菲比）

Phoebe

Welcome back!

欢迎回来！

Mike

Ah! I missed you

好想你。

Phoebe

Oh, me too!

我也是！

Mike

So, what's new?

最近怎么样？

Phoebe

Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.

我不再叫菲比·布菲了。

Mike

That's great! You changed you name?

太好了！你改名字了？

Phoebe

Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)

嗯！现在请叫我康斯韦拉公主·香蕉吊床！（笑得合不拢嘴）

Mike

(afraid) You're kidding right?

（震惊地）你开玩笑的吧？

Phoebe

Nope.

没有。

Mike

You really did that?

你真改了？

Phoebe

Yep.

嗯。

Mike

Yeah, but you can't do that.

你不能这么改啊。

Phoebe

Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.

为什么？好玩又特别，没人叫这个名字。

Mike

(looks at her astonished) Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.

（惊讶地看着她）行，那我也改名字。

Phoebe

Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?

好啊，你改什么？

Mike

Crap Bag.

垃圾包。

Phoebe

(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?

（没笑）迈克·垃圾包？

Mike

No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.

不要迈克，就叫垃圾包，名垃圾，姓包。

Phoebe

You're not serious, right?

你不是认真的吧？

Mike

Yeah, I'm serious. (sarcastic) It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that!

是认真的。（讽刺地）好玩又特别，没人叫这个名字！

Phoebe

Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.

好吧，你喜欢我也喜欢。

Mike

I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.

我很喜欢，也喜欢你的名字，康斯韦拉公主。

Phoebe

And I love Crap.

我也喜欢垃圾。

Joey

(turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!

（翻过卡片，显然答错了）哦！

(A young girl enters)

（一个小女孩走进来）

Girl

Who are you?

你是谁？

Joey

Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?

嗨，我是乔伊，我蠢朋友要买这房子，你是谁？

Girl

I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.

我是麦肯齐，我蠢爸妈要卖这房子。

Joey

(understanding) Oh.

（恍然大悟）哦。

Mackenzie

(sighs) I hate my parents.

（叹气）我讨厌我爸妈。

Joey

I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.

我讨厌我朋友。（两人握手达成共识）我们得想办法阻止这件事。

Mackenzie

Like what?

比如什么？

Joey

(thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!

（思考）嗯……有了！你跟我一起去，告诉他们这房子闹鬼！

Mackenzie

What are you? Eight?

你几岁了？八岁吗？

Joey

Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.

那你有什么好主意？

Mackenzie

I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.

我没好主意，我才八岁。

Joey

(frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?

（烦躁地）肯定有办法的。莫妮卡和钱德勒搬来这儿，菲比又嫁给迈克了，就剩我、罗斯和瑞秋了，你懂吧？

Mackenzie

I really don't.

不懂。

Joey

What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.

我该怎么办啊，感觉要失去朋友们了。

Mackenzie

My parents say I'm gonna make new friends.

我爸妈说我会交新朋友。

Joey

Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.

是啊，你年轻当然容易，我都定型了。

Mackenzie

This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?

我妈说过，爱抱怨的人最没用。（乔伊生气地瞪她）你希望朋友们开心，对吧？

Joey

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

嗯，应该吧。

Mackenzie

Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?

那他们搬来这儿会开心，你为什么要阻止？

Joey

(having difficulty admitting it) Yeah, maybe.

（不情愿地承认）好像是吧。

Mackenzie

Then you gotta let them go.

那就放手吧。

Joey

(In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?

（快哭了，意识到她说得对）不想承认，但你说得对。你怎么这么聪明？

Mackenzie

I read a lot.

我看书多。

Joey

(his mod changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)

（态度立刻变了）刚想跟你做朋友呢。（离开房间）

Man

Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.

嗨，瑞秋，我刚听说，太遗憾了。

Rachel

Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)

谢谢……（看着他，努力回想名字）

Man

You still don't know my name, do you?

你还是不知道我名字，是吧？

Rachel

(Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)

（尴尬了一下，很快释然）反正以后也不用知道了。（男人立刻离开）

(In the meantime, Ross is trying to squeeze and push a rather large chair through the revolving doors of the Ralph Lauren building.)

（与此同时，罗斯正费力地把一把大椅子往拉尔夫·劳伦大楼的旋转门里塞）

Rachel

(annoyed) Ross, what is taking you so long?

（不耐烦）罗斯，怎么这么慢？

Ross

(stares at her through the door and starts pushing the chair harder, looking very annoyed. He finally manages) (sarcastic) I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway!

（透过门瞪她，用力推椅子，很烦躁，终于推过去）抱歉，这门好像不是为了快速搬东西设计的！

(Mark, approaches from behind and recognizes her)

（马克从后面走来，认出了瑞秋）

Mark

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Rachel

(turns around) Mark? Oh my God! (puts the box on the chair and they hug each other)

（转身）马克？天啊！（把箱子放在椅子上，两人拥抱）

Mark

How've you been?

最近怎么样？

Rachel

I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?

挺好的，你还记得罗斯吧？

Mark

Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)

当然。（对罗斯说）搬椅子干嘛？（瑞秋示意他别说自己被解雇的事）

Ross

Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so... (laughs stupidly)

地铁上不一定有座位，所以……（傻笑）

Mark

Clever. (back to Rachel) So how are you?

真聪明。（对瑞秋说）你还好吧？

Rachel

Oh, well, (looks at her box and chair) you're not catching me on my best day.

唉，（看着箱子和椅子）今天状态不太好。

Mark

Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion.

是啊，抱着一箱办公用品，可不像是升职了。

Rachel

No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.

不是，但没事，我打算休息一段时间，做点慈善工作。

Mark

Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.

真的吗？我们路易威登那边有个职位。

Rachel

Well, screw charity work. What've you got?

慈善工作算了，什么职位？

Mark

Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?

今晚一起吃饭聊？

Rachel

Great! I'll call ya!

好！我联系你！

Mark

(shakes Ross' hand) Nice to see you.

（和罗斯握手）很高兴见到你。

Ross

Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)

是啊，我拿到终身教职了！（马克奇怪地看了他一眼，离开）

Rachel

(very excited) Oh my God!

（兴奋地）天啊！

Ross

See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?

看吧，我说好事会来的。他人挺好的，我以前见过他吗？

Rachel

Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.

罗斯！是马克啊，以前布鲁明戴尔百货的那个，你以前超嫉妒他。

Ross

(realizing) That is Mark?

（恍然大悟）是那个马克？

Rachel

Yes.

对。

Ross

I hate that guy.

我讨厌他。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Ross

No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.

不行，你不能跟他吃饭。

Rachel

What? You don't want me to get a job?

什么？你不想我找工作？

Ross

Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.

他才不是真心给你工作，说不定想让你当他的私人秘书。

Rachel

Ugh.

呃。

Ross

I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?

我认真的，我不信任他。

Rachel

Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)

罗斯，别说了。（看到门口保安盯着他们）回头再说，保安来了。（抱着箱子离开，罗斯跟上，又回来拿椅子，愣了一下，快速把椅子推向瑞秋离开的方向，走出镜头，然后若无其事地走开）

Monica

Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.

我太喜欢这条街了，绿树、大前院、还有真正的尖桩篱笆。

Chandler

Man, those two dogs are going at it!

那两只狗打得真凶！

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Hey, where have you been?

嘿，你去哪儿了？

Joey

Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.

随便逛逛。跟你们说，这房子太棒了。

Chandler

Really? What changed your mind?

真的？怎么突然改主意了？

Joey

Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

住在这儿的小女孩开导我了。

Chandler

Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.

乔伊，以前是有个小女孩住在这儿，但她三十年前就死了。

(Joey's eyes double in size)

（乔伊眼睛瞪得很大）

Joey

(frightened) What?

（害怕地）什么？

Chandler

Ha! I'm just messing with you.

哈哈，骗你的。

Joey

That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!

一点都不好笑！你知道我最怕小女孩的鬼魂了！

Monica

Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?

乔伊，你现在不反对了，要不要去看你的房间？

Joey

What? I get my own room?

什么？我有自己的房间？

Chandler

You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room do you?

你以为我们买房会不给你留房间？

Joey

Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?

天啊！（三人拥抱）我能放个鱼缸吗？还有情趣秋千？

Chandler and Monica

No!

不行！

Joey

Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.

为什么不行？我会把鱼缸擦干净的。

Mike

After you, miss Banana Hammock.

你先请，香蕉吊床小姐。

Phoebe

Thank you, mister Bag.

谢谢，垃圾包先生。

(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)

（一个女人走进来，认出了菲比）

Woman

Oh hey, how are you?

嗨，最近好吗？

Phoebe

Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.

嗨，丽塔！挺好的！（对迈克说）丽塔是我的按摩客户。

Mike

Oh! Why don't you introduce me?

哦！介绍我们认识一下？

Phoebe

(shrugs) Er, Rita, this is my husband.

（耸肩）丽塔，这是我丈夫。

Rita

Oh! (they shake hands)

哦！（两人握手）

Phoebe

Yeah.

嗯。

Mike

Why don't you tell her my name?

你怎么不告诉她我的名字？

Phoebe

(without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.

（抿嘴假笑）好。（对丽塔说）这是我丈夫，垃圾包。

Rita

Crap Bag?

垃圾包？

Mike

If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.

好记的话，就想象一袋垃圾。

Rita

Okay. Excuse me...

好的，失陪了……

Phoebe

Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?

好吧……我认输，别闹了，改回迈克·汉尼根好不好？

Mike

Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.

你改回菲比·布菲我就改。

Phoebe

How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?

那……布菲-汉尼根怎么样？

Mike

Really?

真的？

Phoebe

Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.

嗯，我叫菲比·布菲-汉尼根·香蕉吊床。

Mike

Do you even know what a banana hammock is?

你知道香蕉吊床是什么吗？

Phoebe

It's a funny word.

就是个好玩的词。

Mike

It's a Speedo.

是男士紧身泳裤。

Phoebe

...Oh crap!

……天啊！

Ross

Hey, is Rachel here?

嘿，瑞秋在吗？

Monica

No.

不在。

Ross

She's still at dinner?

还在吃饭？

Monica

I guess. Why? Who's she with?

应该是。她跟谁吃饭？

Ross

That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.

布鲁明戴尔的马克。她以为他是好心，我知道他就是想泡她。

Chandler

It's seven years ago. (he looks surprised) My time machine works!

这都是七年前的事了。（惊讶地）我的时光机器真管用！

Ross

We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.

今天在街上碰到他，他说可能给瑞秋找个工作，我知道他就是想占便宜。

Monica

So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.

想泡她又怎么样？瑞秋单身，他长得也帅。

Chandler

Excuse me?

你说什么？

Monica

Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.

拜托，昨天地铁上你一直盯着大胸女人看。

Chandler

For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.

我是看她怀里的宝宝，我们快当爸妈了。

Monica

Oh, sorry!

哦，抱歉！

(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)

（莫妮卡有点不好意思地看向罗斯，钱德勒对着罗斯比划大胸，口型说“哇”，罗斯惊讶地看着他，莫妮卡又看向钱德勒，钱德勒赶紧改成抱宝宝的动作，还摸了摸想象中的宝宝头）

Rachel

(entering) Hi you guys!

（走进来）嘿，大伙！

Ross

Hey, so uhm... How was dinner?

嘿，晚饭怎么样？

Rachel

Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.

挺好的，马克人很好。

Ross

(speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?

（激动地不停说）是吗？他能安什么好心？那个油滑的色鬼想干嘛？

Rachel

Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.

罗斯，别这样，他已婚，妻子刚生了双胞胎。

Ross

Should we send something?

那我们要不要送点礼物？

Chandler

How did the job stuff go?

工作的事谈得怎么样？

Rachel

He offered me one.

他给我offer了。

Chandler

That's great!

太好了！

Ross

Congratulations!

恭喜！

Rachel

I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...

是啊，太惊喜了，比拉尔夫·劳伦的工作好太多，薪水也高……

Ross

Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.

打住，是谁说好事会来的？你还不信我，我说一切都会好的。我得再开一瓶以色列香槟庆祝。

Rachel

The job is in Paris. (they all stare at each other)

工作地点在巴黎。（众人面面相觑）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告插播

Joey

I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?

这部肥皂剧挺好，但我是不是错过了别的机会？我一直觉得自己是实力派演员，要不要多接点独立电影？

Mackenzie

(at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)

（电话那头）不知道……我让我的小熊跟你说，等一下。（把电话放到小熊耳边）

Joey

Hey bear, I need some career advice.

嘿，小熊，给我点事业建议。

THE END

剧终