The One Where The Stripper Cries

Joey

Hey guys!

嘿，大伙们！

Monica

Hey, let me tell them!

嘿，让我来告诉他们！

Joey

Sure.

好啊。

Monica

Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show!

乔伊要去一个益智节目当名人嘉宾了！

Phoebe

Great!

太棒了！

Ross

Really? Which one?

真的？哪个节目？

Monica

(stopping Joey from answering) Ohh! Fish, seaweed, a sunken ship.

（拦住正要开口的乔伊）哦！鱼、海藻、沉船。

Ross

Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!

海里能找到的东西，（对乔伊说）你要上《智力金字塔》了！！

Monica

Oh, that was our favorite game show ever!

哦，那可是我们最爱的益智节目！

Ross

Except for "Match game"...

除了《配对游戏》……

Monica

Or "Win, Lose or Draw".

还有《输赢猜猜猜》。

Chandler

What did I marry into?

我这是娶了个什么家庭啊？

Joey

Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?

你们明天要不要过来看我录节目？

Monica

Oh, I can't. We're throwing Phoebe a bachelorette party.

哦，我去不了。我们要给菲比办单身派对。

Phoebe

Yeah, sorry boys, this ride's closing.

对，抱歉啦男生们，这次派对不带你们玩。

Ross

Oh, and Chandler and I have this stupid college alumni thing. I can't believe you get to meet Donny Osmond.

哦，我和钱德勒还有个无聊的大学校友活动。真不敢相信你能见到唐尼·奥斯蒙德。

Joey

Seriously?

真的假的？

Ross

(very excited) Yeah-uh!

（特别兴奋）对啊！

Monica

Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.

我和罗斯以前一直想当唐尼和玛丽兄妹组合。

Chandler

You guys just keep getting cooler and cooler!

你们俩真是越来越“酷”了！

Monica

Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.

是啊，我们以前还给家人朋友表演过呢。

Rachel

Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out.

天呐，可不是嘛。我都把这事忘了。

Monica

(singing an old Donny and Marie song) "I'm a little bit country"...

（唱起唐尼和玛丽的老歌）“我带点乡村风”……

Ross

(continues singing) "...and I'm a little bit rock 'n' roll"!

（接着唱）“……我带点摇滚范”！

Chandler

(to Monica) I'm leaving you.

（对莫妮卡说）我要跟你离婚。

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Ross

So weird to see all these people again... Oh my God, look, there's Geoffrey Cleric.

再次见到这些人感觉好奇怪……天呐，你看，那是杰弗里·克莱里克。

Chandler

Who?

谁啊？

Ross

He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamburino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.

他是约翰·罗索夫的室友。以前和安德里亚·坦布里诺约会过。后来安德里亚为了迈克尔·斯克洛夫甩了他。

Chandler

(looking around) Did I go to this school?

（环顾四周）我真的上过这所学校吗？

Ross

Hey, there's Missy Goldberg. You gotta remember her.

嘿，那是米西·戈德堡。你肯定记得她。

Chandler

(looks over at her) Sure, nice.

（看向她）当然记得，挺漂亮的。

Ross

Dude. You're married to my sister.

老兄，你可是娶了我妹妹的人。

Chandler

You're right, by saying "nice" I'm virtually licking her.

你说得对，我说她漂亮简直就是在非礼她。

Ross

Hey, I hear she's single again, d'you think I should ask her out?

嘿，我听说她又单身了，你觉得我该约她吗？

Chandler

Are you asking permission to break the pact?

你是想征求我同意打破约定吗？

Ross

Yes please.

对，拜托了。

Ross

Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!

嘿，快看乐队的传单。我在机房用苹果电脑做的！

Chandler

Awesome, the name really stands out.

太牛了，乐队名特别显眼。

Ross

Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!

多亏了一种叫“24号粗体 Helvetica 字体”的东西！

Chandler

Man, we're gonna rock that Asian student union!

哥们儿，我们要在亚裔学生联合会的演出上引爆全场！

Missy

Hey guys!

嘿，你们好！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hey, Missy...

嘿，米西……

Chandler

You know, our band is playing on Friday.

跟你说，我们乐队周五有演出。

Ross

Yeah, yeah. You should come check us out. We're called "Way! No Way!".

对，你该来看看。我们乐队叫“行！不行！”。

Missy

No way!

不行！

Chandler and Ross

Way!

行！

Missy

Right. I'll be there. (she leaves)

好吧，我会去的。（她离开）

Chandler

Fresh!

太酷了！

Ross

Boss!

绝了！

Chandler

Mint!

超赞！

Ross

She's gone.

她走了。

Chandler

I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.

我知道。我肯定要约她。

Ross

Dude, I was gonna ask her out.

老兄，我还想约她呢。

Chandler

I said it first, bro.

是我先说的，兄弟。

Ross

Well, I thought it first, Holmes.

那我先想到的，老兄。

Chandler

(angrily) Look, if you did...

（生气地）听着，就算你先想到……

Ross

Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.

等等！我们在干嘛？我们的友谊太重要了，不能为了一个女孩搞砸。再说了，我们想泡妞随时都能泡到。

Chandler

Totally. I had sex in High school...

可不是嘛。我高中就有性生活了……

Ross

Me too. I'm good at it.

我也是，我可擅长了。

Chandler

All right, I'd say we make a pact. Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg.

行，我们定个约定吧。谁都不准和米西·戈德堡约会。

Ross

You got it.

一言为定。

Chandler

All right, so that's Missy Goldberg, Phoebe Cates and Molly Ringwald, who neither of us can go out with.

好，那就是米西·戈德堡、菲比·凯茨和莫莉·林沃德，这三个人我们谁都不能约。

Ross

Those are the pacts!

这就是约定！

Chandler

Oh, and Sheena Easton. But we probably couldn't get her anyway.

哦，还有希娜·伊斯顿。不过反正我们也追不上她。

Ross

Oh, oh... maybe not you!

哦，说不定你不行，我可以！

Chandler

Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact.

行，我正式允许你打破约定。

Ross

Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?

谢了。（两人握手）好，我上了。嘿，还记得大学时主动跟女生搭话有多紧张吗？

Chandler

Your hands are shaking.

你的手都在抖。

Ross

I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)

我知道，还一直冒汗。（他走向米西）

Voice

Five! Four! Three! Applause!

五！四！三！鼓掌！

Donny Osmond

Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)

好的！欢迎来到《智力金字塔》，本周是肥皂剧主题周，来认识一下我们的选手。首先，数据库专家吉恩·莱斯特，他的搭档是《我们的日子》的明星乔伊·崔比安尼！（乔伊对现场惊叹不已，一直四处张望，直到发现观众在为他鼓掌）

Joey

(to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.

（对吉恩说）我知道普通人跟名人待在一起会很紧张，不过……放轻松，我和你们一样！（停顿）就是长得更帅、更有钱而已。

Donny

...should be playing with the star of "General Hospital" Leslie Charleson. (applause) Welcome everybody. Good luck to all of you. Let's play Pyramid. All right? Now... we flipped a coin before the show, Gene, you won the toss, so you're gonna start. Which category would you like?

……他的搭档是《综合医院》的明星莱斯利·查尔森。（掌声）欢迎各位，祝大家好运。我们开始玩《智力金字塔》吧，好吗？节目开始前我们抛过硬币，吉恩，你赢了，所以你先选。你想选哪个类别？

Gene

I'll take "You crossed the line".

我选“越界之物”。

Donny

You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!

越界之物。乔伊，向吉恩描述这些带线条的东西。计时20秒，预备，开始！

Joey

(on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...

（屏幕显示“超市”）嗯……好。是个商店，比如超市。（提示音响起，他犯规了，不能直接说“超市”。下一个词是“笔记本”）哦！我知道了，我知道错在哪了。好的，嗯……我在我的……里面写字。

Gene

Diary.

日记。

Joey

Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...

不对，（小声说）更像笔记本……该死！（下一个词是“蓝图”）哦，如果我盖房子，那个图纸不叫蓝图图……这个也不能说？天呐……（最后一个词是“足球场”，还剩5秒）高中的时候，我有一次和一个女孩就在……中间亲热。

Gene

Cafeteria.

食堂。

Joey

Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!

对！但不是这个答案。（时间到）哦！

Phoebe

(to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.

（对瑞秋说）太谢谢你安排这一切了。

Rachel

Oh, d'you like it?

你喜欢吗？

Phoebe

Oh my God, it's all so elegant! When's the dirty stuff starting?

天呐，也太精致了！什么时候开始玩刺激的？

Rachel

What?

什么？

Phoebe

You know, the strippers, and the guys dancing, and you know, pee-pee's flying about.

你懂的，脱衣舞男、男艳舞，还有……那些不雅的小道具满天飞。

Rachel

Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.

菲比，我……不会有那些东西的！我们觉得我们都这么大了，不适合玩那些了。

Phoebe

Oh, ok. I see what you're doing, that's fine. This is all there is, just tea, uh, ok. (she drinks her tea) Hmmmm... raunchy!

哦，好吧。我懂你们的意思了，没事。就只有这些啊，就喝喝茶，行吧。（喝了口茶）嗯……真“刺激”！

Rachel

Seriously Pheebs, it's not gonna be that kind of a party.

说真的菲比，不是那种派对。

Phoebe

Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of $1s in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?

真的？这就是……我告别单身、迈入婚姻的派对？瑞秋，我这辈子就这一次单身派对啊！我包里还揣了一大把一美元的零钱呢！真的？就只是喝茶？

Rachel

Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!

当然不是！菲比，肯定还有别的！我去跟莫妮卡说一声，问问那些刺激的节目啥时候到！

Donny

Now Gene I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game, all right? Describe for Joey things you find in your refrigerator.

吉恩，我得提醒你，这六个词你必须全答对才能继续比赛，好吗？向乔伊描述冰箱里能找到的东西。

Joey

Ahaha, he might as well just give us the points.

哈哈哈，这题简直是送分题。

Donny

Give me twenty seconds on the clock. Ready? Go!

计时20秒，预备，开始！

(the first word is cream)

奶油）

Gene

You put this in your coffee.

喝咖啡会加的东西。

Joey

A spoon. Your hands. Your face!

勺子、手、脸！

Gene

It's white!

是白色的！

Joey

Paper, snow, a ghost!

纸、雪、鬼！

Gene

It's heavier then milk!

比牛奶重！

Joey

A rock, a dog, the earth.

石头、狗、地球。

Gene

Pass!

过！

(the second word is mayonnaise)

蛋黄酱）

Gene

You put this on a sandwich.

三明治上会抹的东西。

Joey

Salami, anchovies, jam!

萨拉米香肠、凤尾鱼、果酱！

Gene

It's white!

是白色的！

Joey

Paper, snow, a ghost!

纸、雪、鬼！

Gene

It's made from eggs!

用鸡蛋做的！

Joey

Chickens?

小鸡？

Gene

Pass!

过！

Joey

Oh!

哦！

(The third word is ketchup)

番茄酱）

Gene

You put this on a hamburger!

汉堡上会放的东西！

Joey

Ketchup!

番茄酱！

Gene

Yes!

对！

(The fourth word is soda)

汽水）

Joey

Relish!

酸黄瓜酱！

Gene

Stop!

停！

Joey

Oh.

哦。

Donny

Oh, time's up! Joey! You were, uh, almost on a roll there...

哦，时间到！乔伊，你……差点就答对了……

Joey

Yeah...

是啊……

Donny

Uh, Gene, you're gonna have a chance to go to the winner circle in the second half. But right now Henrietta you are going to the winner circle to try your luck for ten thousand dollars, right after this, don't go away.

吉恩，下半场你还有机会进入决胜圈。现在，亨丽埃塔，你即将进入决胜圈，冲击一万美元奖金，稍后回来，别走开。

Stage Manager

And we're out!

广告时间！

Joey

Oh, so we didn't win, but it's fun to play the game, right?

我们没赢，不过玩得开心就好，对吧？

Gene

Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!

开心？我孩子要上大学，膝盖还要做手术，你害得我丢了一万块！

Joey

Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!

天呐！对不起，好吗？我保证下次我们一定发挥好！

Gene

Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.

我会发挥好的，因为我再也不会跟你搭档了。

Joey

Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause) . Yeah!

那些题本来就很难啊！比如我的冰箱里怎么会有鬼？（停顿）可不是嘛！

Ross

So, Saturday night!

那，周六晚上有空吗？

Missy

I'd love to!

我很乐意！

Ross

Great!

太好了！

Missy

So how come it took you so long to ask me out?

你怎么过了这么久才约我？

Ross

Oh, well, uh, this is gonna sound kinda silly, but, do you remember my roommate Chandler Bing?

嗯，这事说起来有点傻，你还记得我的室友钱德勒·宾吗？

Missy

Sure, he was in your "band"? (she air quotes band)

当然记得，他是你那个“乐队”的？（用手势比了引号）

Ross

It's been sixteen years but the air quotes still hurt.

都过去16年了，这个引号还是挺伤人的。

Missy

Sorry.

抱歉。

Ross

That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!

没事。总之，我和他以前都特别喜欢你，但是我们不想因为你破坏友谊，所以约定谁都不能约你！

Missy

Really?

真的？

Ross

Yeah, why?

对啊，怎么了？

Missy

Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!

钱德勒和我以前经常亲热，次数多着呢！

Ross

You did?

真的？

Missy

Yeah. We'd go to the science lab after hours!

对，我们经常放学后去科学实验室亲热！

Ross

(angrily) AND ON MY TURF?

（生气地）还在我的地盘上？

Monica

(to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!

（对瑞秋说）那个男的怎么还没来，都一个多小时了！

Rachel

Well, he's coming from Jersey, he said he would get here as fast as he could!

他从新泽西过来，说会尽快赶过来！

(someone knocks at the door)

（有人敲门）

Monica

Who is it?

谁啊？

Man

It's the police!

警察！

Rachel

(pretends to be shocked) Uh! The police!

（假装惊讶）哇！警察！

Phoebe

(Excited, running back to her seat) Oh!

（兴奋地跑回座位）哦！

Man

That's right, it's officer Goodbody.

没错，我是古德博迪警官。

Monica

What's the matter, officer? Has someone been bad? (looks over to Phoebe and she opens the door, and to their dismay, the stripper is an old, short, fat guy who looks exhausted)

警官，出什么事了？有人调皮捣蛋吗？（看向菲比，菲比开门，结果让她们大失所望，来的脱衣舞男是个又老又矮又胖的男人，看起来累得不行）

Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs!

（咳嗽）哇，楼梯也太多了！

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Roy

Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.

天呐，你们该提前说没电梯的！我午饭真不该吃墨西哥菜。

Monica

Are you gonna be ok, officer, uhm,...

你没事吧，警官……

Roy

Goodbody!

古德博迪！

Monica

...If-you-say-so.

……行吧，随你怎么说。

Roy

So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)

那么，要被我“逮捕”（扭了扭屁股）的年轻女士在哪？（莫妮卡指向菲比）

Phoebe

Oh, God!

天呐！

Roy

All right, somebody show me where to plug in my box, and we'll get this party started! (he thrusts his pelvis towards Phoebe) Whaaaa... (walks back to plug in his cd player) Here? All right.

好了，谁告诉我插座在哪，我要开始表演了！（对着菲比顶了顶胯）哇哦……（走回去插CD机）插这？行。

Phoebe

Rachel?

瑞秋？

Rachel

Yeah?

嗯？

Phoebe

Are you kidding?

你在开玩笑吧？

Rachel

All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!

我们不知道你想要脱衣舞男，就翻了电话簿，随便找了第一个名字！

Phoebe

How old is your phonebook?

你们的电话簿是哪年的？

Monica

Oh my God, this man is gonna get naked in my apartment!

天呐，这个男人要在我家脱衣服！

Phoebe

Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!

不要啊，我不想看他脱衣服！

Roy

Are you talking about me?

你们在说我吗？

Monica

Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!

没有！我们当然想看你脱衣服啦，你这么帅！

Roy

Ok, ok, ladies! Can I have your attention, please? (pause) Did someone call for the long arm of the law? (He extends his arm from around his crotch and then upward and outward, towards Phoebe) I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon! (Puts his hands over his crotch) I hope you're familiar with the States penal code, ok, ok, enough teasing. Now for some pleasing!

好了女士们，请注意！（停顿）有人呼唤正义的臂膀吗？（从胯部向上伸出胳膊，指向菲比）警告你们，我藏了武器！（双手捂住胯部）希望你们懂刑法，好了，玩笑够了，开始表演！

(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)

（他用遥控器打开音乐，播放软细胞乐队的《堕落之爱》，开始给菲比跳舞。他扭屁股、耸肩膀、抓着胯部蹦向菲比，菲比又害怕又尴尬。他摘掉帽子扔掉，跳康康舞高踢腿，在菲比面前扭屁股，菲比一脸嫌弃。接着他撕开衬衫露出胸口，菲比吓得往后缩。）

Roy

Whoa, whoa, whoa (he turn off the music) . She cringed!

（关掉音乐）等等，她嫌弃我！

Phoebe

This is how I look when I'm turned on!

我兴奋的时候就是这表情！

Roy

You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!

你们刚才明明在说我！我不伺候了！我走了！我的帽子呢？（去捡帽子）我干这行好多年了！

Phoebe

Shocking!

真了不起！

Roy

Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way!

给我三百块，我立马走人！

Phoebe

Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?

三百块？你开玩笑吧？

Rachel

No, that's ok, let's me just get my check book!

没事，我拿支票本给你。

Phoebe

No, you're not gonna pay him, he didn't do anything!

别给，他什么都没干！

Roy

Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed ... I dunno... like a billion stairs... It's not like I can take them two at a time!

什么都没干？我从霍博肯坐公交过来，爬了……不知道多少楼梯，我又不能一步跨两个台阶！

Phoebe

I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.

我不管，就你这样，我们不会给三百块的。

Roy

Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.

那是你们太保守，不懂欣赏男性的魅力，又不是我的错。

Phoebe

Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)

行，我保守。所以我不想看一个中年男人穿着儿童万圣节服装跳舞！（转头看向莫妮卡和瑞秋，两人一脸愧疚）

Roy

I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin) ... is all man.

衣服是跟侄子借的，但我保证，衣服下面（指了指胯部）可是纯爷们。

Phoebe

I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?

不好意思，你说纯爷们还是老男人？

Roy

(making a crying face) Oh, you're mean!

（委屈地撇嘴）你太刻薄了！

Monica

(walks towards Phoebe and the stripper) Uh, look, officer... uhm Sir...

（走向菲比和脱衣舞男）警官……先生……

Roy

Damnit. OH! (To Phoebe) Big surprise! The hunk of beef has feelings!

该死！（对菲比）没想到吧，猛男也有自尊心！

Donny

Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.

好的亨丽埃塔，你选了《杰克和吉尔上山》。

Joey

(To Henrietta) My friend Rachel has a kid. I totally know nursery rhymes! (makes a thumbs up sign)

（对亨丽埃塔说）我朋友瑞秋有孩子，我超懂童谣！（竖起大拇指）

Donny

Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!

乔伊，描述和美国国会相关的事物。（听到“国会”两个字，乔伊瞬间从自信变得震惊）计时20秒，预备，开始！

(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)

（镜头给到乔伊，倒计时20秒，屏幕显示“立法机构”。他一脸茫然，眼神在亨丽埃塔和屏幕之间来回转）

Joey

Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.

附加条款，剩4秒）喉咙后面垂下来的小东西。

Henrietta

Uvula!

悬雍垂！

Joey

Oh, then pass. (Next word: "Joint session", but time's up, Joey acts very disappointed)

联席会议，时间到，乔伊一脸失望）

Donny

O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)

好的……亨丽埃塔，你没拿到足够的分数，所以吉恩，你将进入决胜圈冲击一万美元奖金！（吉恩开心地拍手，乔伊也跟着开心）你的搭档是乔伊·崔比安尼（两人的笑容瞬间消失）

Ross

(To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?

（对钱德勒说）你居然和米西·戈德堡亲热？你答应过我的，怎么能这么做？

(Chandler looks at the other two guys, embarrassed)

（钱德勒尴尬地看向旁边两个男人）

Chandler

(to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them) . That didn't make us sound gay at all!

（对两人说）失陪一下。（和罗斯走到一边）这下别人肯定觉得我们是同性恋了！

Ross

You broke the pact!

你打破约定了！

Chandler

Ross, that was 16 years ago!

罗斯，那都是16年前的事了！

Ross

That doesn't matter! We're talking about the foundation of our friendship.

那又怎样！这关乎我们友谊的根基。

Chandler

I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.

我觉得我们友谊的根基是当年那难看的发型。（罗斯盯着他）好吧，要是非要算旧账……你也不是没打破过约定。

Ross

I didn't.

我没有。

Chandler

Oh really?

是吗？

Ross

No.

没有。

Chandler

Oh really!?

真的？！

Ross

NO!

没有！

Chandler

ADRIENNE TURNER!! (A girl behind them turns around)

阿德里安娜·特纳！！（身后一个女生转过身）

Adrienne

Yes?

怎么了？

Chandler and Ross

Hey! Hey Adrienne. (They move away from her)

嘿！阿德里安娜好。（赶紧走开）

Ross

I never did anything with Adrienne Turner.

我从没和阿德里安娜·特纳有过什么。

Chandler

Oh please, and you knew how much I liked her.

别装了，你知道我有多喜欢她。

Ross

I don't know what... you're talking about.

我不知道你在说什么。

Chandler

Really?

是吗？

Present Chandler's voice

Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors.

还记得大一那年圣诞假期前一周的派对吗？我记得清清楚楚，那天有人来找你。

(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hairdos and clothes)

（80年代的瑞秋和胖胖的莫妮卡走进派对房间，两人都留着搞笑发型、穿着复古衣服）

Monica

I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!

不敢相信我们真的来参加大学派对了！（瑞秋兴奋地笑）我好想上厕所！

Rachel

This is so awesome! College guys are so cute!

太棒了！大学男生都好帅！

Monica

Hey, you've got a boyfriend!

你不是有男朋友吗！

Rachel

I know. But if some guy who looks like Corey Haim wants to kiss me tonight, I'm sooo gonna let them! (They spot Chandler)

我知道。但今晚要是有像科里·海姆的男生想亲我，我肯定答应！（两人看到钱德勒）

Monica

Look, there's Chandler, you know, that stupid friend of Ross' who said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!

看，那是钱德勒，罗斯那个说我胖的蠢朋友。我都瘦了4磅了！

Rachel

It... You can so totally tell.

看得……特别明显。

Monica

I KNOW!

我就说嘛！

Rachel

Well let's see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails) .

去问问他罗斯在哪。（走向钱德勒）嘿，你好啊。（假装不在意，低头看指甲）

Chandler

Aren't you...?

你不是……？

Rachel

Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do) .

我是瑞秋，她（指莫妮卡）是罗斯的妹妹莫妮卡，感恩节见过。（环顾四周，假装找别的好玩的）

Chandler

(smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?

（对莫妮卡笑）记得。（对瑞秋）最近怎么样？

Rachel

Bitchin'

挺好的。

Chandler

Hi Monica.

嗨，莫妮卡。

Monica

Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)

嗨，钱德勒。见到你真开心（翻白眼）才怪。（和瑞秋偷笑，钱德勒一脸无语）

Chandler

O-kay. I'll see if I can find Ross. (Goes off to find Ross.)

行吧，我去帮你们找罗斯。（走开去找罗斯）

Monica

Oh my God Rach. Bean bag chairs.

天呐瑞秋，懒人沙发。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Monica

Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.

千万别让我坐上去，不然我们就走不了了。

(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)

（镜头切到钱德勒，他四处找罗斯，看到罗斯正在自动售货机旁和一个女孩接吻）

Ross

Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.

听着阿德里安娜，这事不能告诉钱德勒。

Adrienne

Oh believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.

放心罗斯，我不会告诉任何人的。

Ross

Cool! (They start kissing again and Chandler looks shocked)

好！（两人继续接吻，钱德勒震惊不已）

Ross

I didn't know you knew about that.

我不知道你知道这事。

Chandler

Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".

我知道，而且特别难过。（走向吧台）我还为此写了首歌，叫《休息室的背叛》。

Ross

(looks disappointed in himself) Man... I... I'm sorry.

（自责地）我……对不起。

Chandler

Look (hands him a drink) it was a lo-o-ong time ago.

（递给他一杯酒）都过去好久了。

Ross

So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.

那，我和阿德里安娜亲热过，你和米西亲热过，我们扯平了。

Chandler

(smiling a little nervously) Hmm mmmhm..

（紧张地笑了笑）嗯……

Ross

We are even, right?

我们扯平了吧？

Chandler

(sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?

（叹气）还有件事。那晚我特别生气，想报复你。我就想，罗斯最喜欢的人是谁？

Ross

(thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?

（想了几秒）你对我妈做了什么？

Chandler

Not her!

不是她！

Rachel

I am sooo drunk.

我醉得不行了。

Monica

That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)

奇怪，我喝得和你一样多，却一点感觉都没有。（钱德勒走过来）

Chandler

Soo... you girls having fun?

你们玩得开心吗？

Monica

For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box)

告诉你，笨蛋，我瘦了4磅，跳完舞说不定瘦5磅了。（一个男生拿着披萨盒走进来）

Pizza guy

SOMEBODY ORDER A PIZZA?

有人订披萨吗？

Monica

Oh THATS ME! (she runs to the pizza guy)

我的！（跑向披萨店员）

Rachel

(finishing the last of her drink) I am soo not going to do good on my SATs tomorrow.

（喝完最后一口酒）我明天的SAT考试肯定考砸了。

Chandler

Well maybe if you go to school here next year we can totally hang out.

明年要是你能来这上学，我们就能经常一起玩了。

Rachel

(sarcastic) Oh yeah. There is a plan! Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now?

（讽刺地）是啊，好主意！我不如现在就开始吃聪明药算了。

Chandler

Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.

说不定你能拿美貌奖学金呢。

Rachel

(blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")

（脸红）嘴真甜。（背对钱德勒走向酒水台，小声嘀咕“天呐！”）

Chandler

So where are you applying to?

你打算申请哪所学校？

Rachel

Oh well, You know, I think it's kinda really important that I go somewhere where there's sun, so I'm sort of... (Chandler leans in an kisses her) (She pulls away) Hey!

我觉得去阳光充足的地方上学很重要，所以我打算……（钱德勒凑过来亲了她一口）（她躲开）喂！

Chandler

I'm in college and I'm in a band.

我是大学生，还在乐队里。

Rachel

(She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)

（想了几秒）好吧。（搂住他的脖子，两人又亲了起来）

Roy

What's the matter? You never saw a 50 year old stripper cry before?

怎么了？没见过50岁的脱衣舞男哭吗？

Phoebe

You know, it's fine. We'll pay you.

没事，我们给你钱。

Roy

No, no, you're right. Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago. What am I gonna do? I mean, this has been my life for thirty two years. Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.

别，你们说得对，我骗谁呢？几年前就该不干这行了。我该怎么办？我干这行32年了，只会在人前脱衣服。

Rachel

No, wait. No there's gotta be something else that you can do. I mean, what skills do you have?

别这么说，你肯定能做别的事。你有什么特长吗？

Roy

I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.

不知道……我能让胸肌跳舞，能用屁股夹起一美元纸币，还能做到毫无羞耻心。

Rachel

So maybe something in an office.

那可以去办公室工作。

Phoebe

Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch.

或者你可以教别人跳脱衣舞，分享你的本事，传承下去。

Roy

You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.

这主意不错，我可以在家开班，我妈应该不会介意。

Phoebe

There you go. Okay, do you think you're gonna be okay?

这不就成了。你没事吧？

Roy

Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.

没事……就是挺感慨的。你永远不知道哪次是最后一场表演，我连最后一支舞都没跳完。

Phoebe

(after a pause) Finish it!

（停顿片刻）那就跳完吧！

Roy

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Your last dance. Do it for us.

你的最后一支舞，给我们跳完。

Roy

Really?

真的？

Rachel

(to Phoebe) Really?

（对菲比）真的吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, yeah. He deserves to do the thing he loves one last time.

对，他该最后做一次自己喜欢的事。

Roy

Okay, all right... Get ready ladies!

好，女士们看好了！

(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)

（三人坐下，罗伊用收音机播放西尔维斯特的《你让我心动》，开始跳舞……背对女孩们挥手，然后扭着屁股后退，对着菲比顶胯。他围着桌子在女孩们中间跳舞，回到厨房区域，撕掉一只袖子扔向莫妮卡和瑞秋，两人抢着要。接着撕掉另一只袖子，在腿间来回晃动，慢慢靠近菲比。）

Phoebe

Oh this is so ho-o-ot!

哇，太刺激了！

(Roy then sits on Phoebe's lap, looking exhausted)

（罗伊累得坐到菲比腿上）

Phoebe

Oh no, no, no, don't stop!

别停啊！

Roy

(out of breath) Have to...

（喘着气）不行了……

Donny

Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?

欢迎来到决胜圈。乔伊、吉恩，准备好了吗？

Joey

(nervously) Yeah...

（紧张地）嗯……

Gene

(irritable) Sure. (Joey gets even more nervous)

（不耐烦）嗯。（乔伊更紧张了）

Donny

Okay. Give me sixty seconds on the clock please... Ready, GO! (runs off)

好，计时60秒，预备，开始！（走开）

(the screen says "6 to win" and "types of trees")

（屏幕显示“剩6个过关”，类别：树木种类）

Gene

Oak, maple, elm, birch...

橡树、枫树、榆树、桦树……

Joey

I-I-I don't know. Types of trees?

我……我不知道，树木种类？

(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")

（提示音响起，答对了，乔伊很惊讶。屏幕显示“剩5个过关”，类别：西班牙语词汇）

Gene

Uhm... Buenos días, enchilada, por favor...

早上好、墨西哥辣肉卷、请……

Joey

(sympathetic) Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know any Spanish words.

（同情地）抱歉，我一个西班牙语单词都不会。

(There's the next bell, and the correct answer. The screen changes to "4 to win" and "things that burn". Gene now realizes that he got two correct answers and gets up in his seat.)

（提示音再次响起，答对。屏幕显示“剩4个过关”，类别：易燃物品。吉恩发现连对两题，兴奋地站起来）

Gene

A match, a candle...

火柴、蜡烛……

Joey

Things that go "tssst" when you put them out.

灭掉时会发出“嘶”声的东西。

Gene

A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee...

火把、篝火……（乔伊一脸迷茫）呃、尿液……

Joey

Things that burn.

易燃物品。

(and another bell for the correct answer. "3 to win" and "What a dog might say")

（提示音响起，答对。屏幕显示“剩3个过关”，类别：狗狗会说的话）

Gene

"I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly".

我想去散步、挠挠我的肚子。

Joey

Dude, dude! I think you're losing it.

老兄，你是不是疯了。

Gene

Uhm, "I have fur", "I like to bark".

我有毛、我喜欢汪汪叫。

Joey

Oh, oh, oh... What a dog says.

哦，狗狗会说的话。

(the bell sounds again, "2 to win" and "pizza toppings")

（提示音响起，答对。屏幕显示“剩2个过关”，类别：披萨配料）

Gene

Pepperoni...

意大利辣香肠……

Joey

(instantly) Pizza toppings, next!

（立刻）披萨配料，下一个！

(there's 10 seconds left, "1 to win" and "Supermodels")

（剩10秒，屏幕显示“剩1个过关”，类别：超模）

Gene

Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley, Heidi Klum, Claudia Schiffer...

辛迪·克劳馥、克里斯蒂·布林克利、海蒂·克鲁姆、克劳迪娅·希弗……

Joey

Oh, oh, oh... (5 seconds left)

哦……（剩5秒）

Gene

Christie Turlington, Kate Moss...

克里斯蒂·特林顿、凯特·摩丝……

Joey

Girls Chandler could never get?

钱德勒永远追不到的女生？

Gene

(irritated) Supermodels!

（生气地）超模！

Joey

Where? (looking around)

在哪？（四处张望）

Ross

Hey, where's Rachel?

瑞秋呢？

Monica

She and Phoebe took the stripper to the hospital.

她和菲比送那个脱衣舞男去医院了。

Ross

Did you know Chandler kissed Rachel?

你知道钱德勒亲过瑞秋吗？

Monica

What? When was this?

什么？什么时候的事？

Ross

Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.

1987年，你们来学校看我的那个周末。

Monica

Oh my God! That's wild!

天呐，太劲爆了！

Chandler

Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter.

都是好久以前的事了，不重要。

Ross

Well, it matters to me.

对我来说很重要。

Chandler

Why?

为什么？

Ross

Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.

因为……你亲瑞秋那晚，是我第一次亲瑞秋。

Chandler

You kissed her that night too?

你那晚也亲了她？

Monica

Two guys in one night? Wow, I thought she became a slut after she got her nose fixed.

一晚两个男人？我还以为她整完鼻子才变开放的。

Chandler

Seriously, where did this happen?

认真的，在哪亲的？

Ross

Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples' coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.

你说她在我们房间睡着了之后，我进去看看她。她躺在我床上，盖着一堆外套。我想亲她额头，太黑了，不小心亲到嘴唇。我想躲开，她却回亲了我。就一秒钟，特别美好。现在才知道，你先亲了她。

Chandler

Oh wait... What bed did you say she was on?

等等，她在哪张床上？

Ross

Mine.

我的床。

Chandler

I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.

我明明把她放我床上了。

Ross

No, she was definitely on my bed.

她肯定在我床上。

Chandler

Why would I kiss a girl, and then put her on your bed?

我亲完她，干嘛把她放你床上？

Ross

Well, then who was on my bed?

那我床上是谁？

Monica

(screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth)

（尖叫）哦！（捂住嘴）

Ross

(realizing) NO! No, no!

（恍然大悟）不会吧！

Monica

YES! (Chandler gets an "oh no!" look on his face)

就是！（钱德勒一脸崩溃）

Ross

You were under the pile of coats?

你当时在那堆外套下面？

Monica

I was the pile of coats!

那堆外套就是我！

Ross

OH MY GOD!

天呐！

Monica

You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser?

你就是我的午夜神秘接吻人？

Ross

You were my first kiss with Rachel?

你就是我误以为和瑞秋的初吻对象？

Monica

You were my first kiss ever?

你是我的初吻？

Chandler

What did I marry into?

我娶的到底是什么人啊？

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)

（莫妮卡跳舞，一开始很拘谨，动作很慢，后来放开了，双手举着扭胯。吃掉手里最后一块披萨，继续跟着音乐扭胯、挥手，动作越来越奔放，还打着响指，最后没站稳，摔进粉色懒人沙发里。）

Monica

Oh, crap!

糟了！

THE END

剧终