The One Where Chandler Gets Caught

Monica

(really excited) Mmh... this cake is amazing!

（非常兴奋）嗯……这个蛋糕太好吃了！

Rachel

My God, get a room!

天啊，你躲一边吃吧！

Monica

I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!

我真想和这个蛋糕单独待一会儿。我觉得我能好好陪它玩一玩！

Phoebe

If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?

如果必须放弃一样，你会放弃食物还是性爱？

Monica

(with no hesitation) Sex!

（毫不犹豫）性爱！

Chandler

(looking at her) Seriously, answer faster!

（看着她）说真的，你回答得也太快了吧！

Monica

Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!

哦，抱歉亲爱的，你知道的，她一说“性爱”，我想的可不是“和你性爱”！

Chandler

(to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.

（对菲比说）这话真让人暖心。

Phoebe

Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?

罗斯，你呢？你会放弃性爱还是食物？

Ross

Food.

食物。

Phoebe

Ok, how about... uhm... sex or dinosaurs?

好，那……嗯……性爱还是恐龙？

Ross

Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.

天啊。这简直是艰难的抉择。

Rachel

Oh God. What about you, Joe? What would you give up, sex or food?

天啊。乔伊，你呢？你会放弃性爱还是食物？

Joey

Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.

嗯……哦……我不知道，这太难选了。

Rachel

No, you gotta pick one!

不行，你必须选一个！

Joey

Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!

哦……食物。不，性爱。食物！性爱！食物！性——我不知道！天啊，我不知道，我想要面包上的女孩！

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Rachel

You gotta see these latest pictures of Emma.

你得看看艾玛的最新照片。

Phoebe

Oh, how cute!

哦，好可爱啊！

Rachel

Yeah.

是啊。

Phoebe

Oh, she looks just like a little doll!

哦，她看上去就像个小洋娃娃！

Rachel

Oh, no, no. That is a doll.

哦，不不，那就是个洋娃娃。

Phoebe

Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)

哦，谢天谢地，那东西真吓人！（看向窗外）看，那是钱德。（他在街上和一个女人说话）

Rachel

Oh. Who is the blonde, she's pretty.

哦。那个金发女郎是谁？她很漂亮。

Phoebe

OH! He's having an affair.

哦！他有外遇了。

Rachel

He's not having an affair!

他才没有外遇！

Phoebe

You know, I'm always right about these things.

你知道的，我在这种事上一向很准。

Rachel

No, you're not! Last week you thought Ross was trying to kill you!

你才不准呢！上周你还以为罗斯要杀你呢！

Phoebe

Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!

好吧，抱歉，但很难相信有人会讲那么无聊的故事！（看向窗外）你看，他俩肯定有事。快看，他跟她上车了！

Rachel

Oh, that doesn't mean anything.

这说明不了什么。

Phoebe

Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)

是吗？走着瞧。（拿出手机）好，趴下。（两人趴下躲起来，菲比给钱德打电话）

Chandler

(picking up the phone) Hello.

（接电话）喂。

Phoebe

Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.

嗨，钱德，我是菲比。嗯……我知道莫妮卡今天上班，所以……（回头对瑞秋说）……我想问你要不要跟我和瑞秋一起去看电影。

Chandler

Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.

哦，嗯……我也得上班。对，我一整天都在办公室忙。

Phoebe

(shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".

（惊讶）哦，真可惜你不能去，我们本来打算看《大话王》《背叛》或者《金玉盟》的。

Chandler

Those are all really old!

这些都是老电影了！

Phoebe

Ok, then maybe it'll be, uhm...

好吧，那或许我们看……嗯……

Rachel

(whispering) "Dude, Where's My Car?"

（小声说）《猪头，我的车呢？》

Phoebe

(glancing at her) What?

（瞥她一眼）什么？

Rachel

They're in a caaar...

他们在车里……

Phoebe

(to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.

（对电话里的钱德说）好，我们晚点再聊，再见。

Rachel

Geez!

天啊！

Phoebe

Ok. Quick. We gotta find a cab and follow them.

好，快，我们得拦辆出租车跟着他们。

Rachel

Oh, yeah, ok. Let me just grab my night vision goggles and my stun gun.

好，等我拿上我的夜视镜和眩晕枪。

Phoebe

(patting her bag) I got them!

（拍拍包）我都带了！

Chandler

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Hey! You smell like perfume and cigarettes.

嗨！你身上有香水和香烟的味道。

Chandler

I was in the car with Nancy all day.

我一整天都和南茜在车里。

Monica

Nancy doesn't smoke!

南茜不抽烟！

Chandler

Well, at least the perfume is not mine, be thankful for that!

至少香水不是我的，你该庆幸这点！

Monica

So? What do you think of the house?

那房子你觉得怎么样？

Chandler

It's perfect. It's everything we're been looking for.

太完美了，就是我们一直找的那种。

Monica

Isn't it? Then what about the amazing wainscotting and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic?

可不是嘛！还有漂亮的护墙板、檐口线和阁楼的老虎窗？

Chandler

And the wiggle wharms and the zip zorps? (pause) What were the things you said?

还有那些弯弯绕绕的小装饰？（停顿）你刚才说啥来着？

Monica

Don't you love the huge yard?

你不喜欢那个大院子吗？

Chandler

And the fireplace in the bedroom.

还有卧室里的壁炉。

Monica

And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!

南茜还说价格特别划算，因为房主丢了工作，得搬去和父母住！

Chandler

This is bringing out a lovely color in you!

你都兴奋得红光满面了！

Monica

So? Do you think we should get it?

那我们要不要买下来？

Chandler

I don't know. What do you think?

我不知道，你觉得呢？

Monica

I think we should.

我觉得该买。

Chandler

I do too.

我也这么想。

Monica

This is huge!

这可是大事！

Chandler

I know.

我知道。

Monica

How bad you wanna smoke, right now.

你现在是不是特别想抽烟？

Chandler

I don't know what you mean, giant talking cigarette! Oh, by the way, Phoebe called just as I was getting into Nancy's car, so if she asks you, I was at work all day.

我听不懂你说啥，大烟枪！对了，我刚上南茜的车时菲比打电话了，她要是问你，就说我一整天都在上班。

Monica

Gotcha. When do we tell them about this?

明白。这事我们什么时候跟他们说？

Chandler

We don't. Not until it's a hundred percent. I mean, why upset everybody over nothing.

先不说，等事情百分百定下来再说。没必要八字没一撇就让大家难受。

Monica

Okay. Right. Oh my God that is gonna be so hard.

好，没错。天啊，要保密肯定很难。

Chandler

I know. Gooooood luck with it.

我知道，祝你好运啦。

Ross

I just can't see Chandler cheating!

我实在不信钱德会出轨！

Rachel

I'm telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!

我跟你们说，我们跟着他们到了西切斯特的一栋房子，他俩进去待了大概45分钟，出来的时候看着特别开心！

Joey

Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can't believe he would do this to Monica!

钱德？45分钟？肯定不对劲。我不敢相信他会这么对莫妮卡！

Ross

I know, and with the baby coming?

是啊，而且他们马上要有孩子了！

Phoebe

So, should we tell her?

那我们要不要告诉莫妮卡？

Ross

I don't know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?

我不知道。菲比，如果我们看到麦克和别的女人在一起，你想让我们告诉你吗？

Ross

No one, I'm just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)

谁也没有，我就是假设……（菲比开始掐他脖子）

Phoebe

TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW!

快说你知道什么！

Ross

(yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike's a great guy, it was hypothetical!

（疼得大叫）我什么都不知道！麦克是好人，我就是假设！

Phoebe

All right. (she releases him). He is a good guy. You're right, he wouldn't cheat.

好吧。（松开他）他是好人，你说得对，他不会出轨。

Ross

Believe me, if I did see with someone, there's no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)

相信我，就算我看到他和别人在一起，我也不会……（菲比又开始掐他）

Phoebe

WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?

你看到他和谁在一起了？

Rachel

Oh, look at her, so happy!

看她，多开心啊！

Monica

If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!

要是有个更小的吸尘器来清理这个就好了！

Joey

Hey, is uhm... is Chandler here?

嘿，钱德在吗？

Monica

No, he's picking up dinner, why, what's up?

不在，他去买晚饭了，怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, look, whatever happens, we're here for you and we love you.

不管发生什么，我们都支持你，爱你。

Monica (puzzled): All right...

（疑惑）好……

Ross

We think Chandler might be having an affair.

我们觉得钱德可能有外遇了。

Monica

What?

什么？

Rachel

Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.

我和菲比今天看到钱德在街上和一个金发女人在一起，然后跟着他们到了西切斯特的一栋房子。

Phoebe

They went in together. So sorry.

他俩一起进去了，真抱歉。

Monica

Oh my God! Oh my God that's awful! What did you think of the house?

天啊！太糟糕了！你们觉得那房子怎么样？

(they all look confused and sorry for her)

（众人一脸困惑，同情地看着她）

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Joey

(walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?

（走向她想安慰她）莫妮卡，你明白我们说的事吧？

Monica

Yeah, sure... uhm, I'm devastated, obviously... (to the rest) Did you think the neighborhood was homey?

当然明白……我肯定伤心透了……（对众人说）你们觉得那小区温馨吗？

(Chandler enters)

（钱德走进来）

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

(to Chandler) You son of a bitch!

（对钱德说）你这个混蛋！

Chandler

Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?

是我错觉吗？怎么大家打招呼的方式越来越差了？

Monica

(goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.

（走向钱德）菲比和瑞秋今天看到你和南茜在一起，她们觉得你有外遇了。

Rachel

Who's Nancy?

谁是南茜？

Ross

What's going on?

到底怎么回事？

Monica

(turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.

（转向众人）好了，你们都坐下吧，有大事要说。

Chandler

Yeah (motions them to sit and they do) I'm not having an affair. Nancy is our realtor.

对（示意众人坐下）我没有外遇，南茜是我们的房产中介。

Joey

I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!

我就知道他不可能和一个女人待45分钟！！

Phoebe

Why do you have a realtor?

你们找房产中介干嘛？

Monica

Uhm, she has been showing us houses outside of the city.

她一直在带我们看城外的房子。

Joey

(clearly shocked) What?

（震惊）什么？

Rachel

Are you serious?

真的吗？

Monica

When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.

我们知道要怀孕后，我和钱德商量了，不想在城里养孩子。

Phoebe

So you're gonna move?

你们要搬家？

Ross

Oh my God.

天啊。

Joey

Shouldn't we all vote on stuff like this?!

这种事我们不该一起投票决定吗？！

Rachel

What is wrong with raising a kid in the city? I'm doing it, Ross is doing it, Sarah Jessica Parker is doing it!

在城里养孩子怎么了？我就在城里养，罗斯也是，莎拉·杰西卡·帕克也一样！

Monica

And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...

你们这样很好，但我们想要草坪、秋千……

Chandler

...and a street where our kids can ride their bikes and maybe an ice-cream truck can go by.

……还有能让孩子骑车的街道，偶尔还能有冰淇淋车经过。

Ross

(sarcastic) So you wanna buy a house in the 50's?

（讽刺）所以你们想买栋50年代的房子？

Phoebe

Have you thought about what you would be giving up? You can't move out of the city, what if you want Chinese food at 5am? Or a fake Rolex that breaks as soon as it rains or an Asian hooker sent right to your door?

你们想过会失去什么吗？不能搬出城，凌晨5点想吃中餐怎么办？想买个下雨就坏的假劳力士怎么办？或者想叫个上门的亚洲妓女怎么办？

Ross

You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.

其实，你们想找房子也没关系。

Joey

No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)

不行，别听他的！（对罗斯说）我揍你啊！（冲他挥拳头）

Ross

(to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.

（对乔伊说）没事，他们就是一时兴起（对莫妮卡和钱德说），你们以后会发现，这里才是你们想待的地方。

(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)

（莫妮卡和钱德停顿了一下，像是在组织语言）

Chandler

Actually, we already found a house we love.

其实，我们已经找到喜欢的房子了。

Ross

What?

什么？

Monica

And about an hour ago, we made an offer.

一小时前，我们已经出价了。

(All the friends looked shocked and confused. There is a long silence.)

（朋友们都震惊又困惑，现场陷入长时间沉默。）

Chandler

Bet you wish I was having an affair now, huh?

现在你们肯定宁愿我真有外遇吧？

TIME LAPSE

时间快进

Ross

You put an offer on a house?

你们出价买房了？

Monica

(smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)

（微笑）房子特别好，真的。有个大院子直通小溪，还有几棵老枫树……（被打断）

Phoebe

Wha..? Again with the nature, what are you? Beavers?

啥……？又说自然景观，你们是水獭吗？

Chandler

I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.

我们知道这很难接受，真的很抱歉。

Joey

Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!

是不是因为我总不敲门就来吃你们的东西？（走向冰箱）我可以改的，（看着冰箱）我真的能改！

Chandler

(goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)

（走向乔伊）乔伊，不是因为这个。（乔伊抱了抱他，然后从冰箱拿了点东西吃，回到原来的位置）

Monica

We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?

你们去看了就懂了，你们俩都去过（指向瑞秋和菲比），很漂亮对吧？

Rachel

Yeah it is.

是挺漂亮的。

Joey

What the hell are you doin'?

你在干嘛？

Rachel

Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!

本来就是嘛！今天在那儿的时候，我一边想“钱德居然和这女人搞在一起”，一边又觉得“这地方住起来肯定超棒”！

Phoebe

Yeah, but so is this.

这里也很好啊。

Ross

Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?

是啊，你们搬去那边，就得离开这里了，你们怎么舍得？

Rachel

(talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!

（打电话）爸爸，你听我说！从小到大，所有人都跟我说“你是鞋子！你是鞋子！”，今天我突然停下来想，“我为什么一定要做鞋子？我想做个包，或者帽子不行吗？”我不是要你给我买帽子，我是打个比方！

Ross

You can see where he'd have trouble.

难怪他听不懂。

Rachel

Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.

那我干脆留下来陪莫妮卡好了。

Monica

Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...

看来谁留下来陪我已经定了……

Ross

That money is mine, Green!

那钱是我的，格林！

Rachel

You're fly is open, Geller!

你拉链没拉，盖勒！

Phoebe

You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?

你们知道我刚发现什么吗？“小丑”就是“扑克”换了个首字母，巧合吧？

Chandler

Hey, that's...'joincidence' with a 'C'!

那是“巧事”换了个首字母！

Phoebe

[looking outside the window] Eww, look. Ugly Naked Guy lit a bunch of candles.

（看向窗外）呃，快看，丑裸男点了一堆蜡烛。

Rachel

Ow, that had to hurt!

哎哟，肯定很疼！

Phoebe

Hey, it's your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.

这也是你们的感恩节啊，别光看球赛，过来帮忙。

The Guys

We will. (they don't move)

马上来。（一动不动）

Monica

Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmallows in concentric circles.

瑞秋，把棉花糖摆成同心圆。

Rachel

No Mon, you want to put them in concentric circles. I want to do this.

不，是你想摆同心圆，我想这么摆。

(Rachel sticks a marshmallow into Monica's nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)

（瑞秋把棉花糖塞进莫妮卡鼻子里，莫妮卡捂住一个鼻孔把它吹了出来。）

Monica

Every year.

每年都这样。

Joey

(he has a turkey on his head) It's stuck!!!

（头上套着火鸡）卡住了！！！

Phoebe

(walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?

（扶他走向厨房）慢点，抬脚。怎么套上去的？

Joey

I put it on to scare Chandler!

我套上去吓唬钱德的！

Phoebe

Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!

天啊！莫妮卡肯定会抓狂的！

Joey

It smells really bad in here.

这里面好臭。

Phoebe

Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!

当然臭了，你头套在火鸡屁股里呢！

(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)

（听到莫妮卡开门的声音，菲比赶紧把乔伊的头按到桌上，装作火鸡只是放在盘子里，不是套在乔伊头上。）

Monica

Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?

火鸡刷好油没？——天啊！天啊！（看到有人套在火鸡里）是谁？

Joey

It's Joey.

是我。

Monica

I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?

有了！我们赢了，他们就得把公鸡扔了，怎么样？

Rachel

Oooohh that's interesting.

哦，有意思。

Chandler

If you win, we give up the birds.

你们赢了，我们就把公鸡扔了。

Joey

(shocked) Dah!! (Chandler motions for him to calm down.)

（震惊）啊！！（钱德示意他冷静。）

Chandler

But if we win, we get your apartment.

我们赢了，你们的公寓归我们。

Joey

Oooooh!

哦！

Monica

Deal!

成交！

TIME LAPSE

时间快进

Ross

What was Monica's nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?

莫妮卡打曲棍球当守门员时的外号是什么？

Joey

Big fat goalie.

大胖守门员。

Ross

Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie...

正确。瑞秋说这是她最喜欢的电影……

Chandler

Dangerous Liaisons.

《危险关系》。

Ross

Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...

正确。她真正最喜欢的电影是……

Joey

Weekend at Bernie's.

《老板渡假去》。

Ross

Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?

莫妮卡把毛巾分类，一共分了几类？

(They both confer)

（两人小声商量）

Joey

Everyday use.

日常用。

Chandler

Fancy.

精致款。

Joey

Guest.

客人用。

Chandler

Fancy guest.

精致客用。

Ross

Two seconds...

还有两秒……

Joey

Uhh, 11!

呃，11类！

Ross

11, unbelievable, 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.)

11类，厉害，答对了！（男生们欢呼）

Ross

(to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl's breast?

（对女生们说）钱德第一次摸女生胸部时几岁？

Rachel

14?

14岁？

Ross

No, 19.

不对，19岁。

Chandler

Thanks man.

谢了兄弟。

Ross

Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?

乔伊小时候有个想象中的朋友，叫什么名字？

Monica

Maurice.

莫里斯。

Ross

Correct, his profession was?

正确，他的职业是什么？

Rachel

Space cowboy!

太空牛仔！

Ross

Correct! What is Chandler Bing's job?

正确！钱德·宾是做什么工作的？

(The girls are stumped)

（女生们答不上来）

Rachel

Ow...Oh Gosh!

哦……天啊！

Ross

10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.

还有10秒，答不上来你们就输了。

Monica

It's umm, it has something to do with transponding.

嗯，和传输有关。

Rachel

Oh-oh-oh, he's a transponce...transpondster!

哦，他是传输员！

Monica

That's not even a word!

这词根本不存在！

(Ross stops the clock, signifying the end of the lightning round.)

（罗斯停止计时，快速问答环节结束。）

Monica

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

不要啊！！！

TIME LAPSE

时间快进

(The door opens and Joey and Chandler ride in on the big, fake dog in triumph)

（门开了，乔伊和钱德骑着大假狗得意地走进来）

Rachel

You know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!

你们太坏了，就是故意欺负人！

Joey

Hey, don't get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!

别生气啊！没人逼你们加码的！

Rachel

That is not true. She did! She forced me!

才不是，是她逼我的！

Monica

Hey, we would still be living here if hadn't gotten the question wrong!

要不是你们答错那道题，我们现在还住这儿呢！

Rachel

Well it stupid, unfair question!

那题又难又不公平！

Ross

Don't blame the questions!

别怪题目！

Chandler

Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!

别在我们公寓吵了！都毁了我们的搬家日了！

Ross

Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!

钱德！！！（打开公寓门，被防盗链挡住；钱德和莫妮卡赶紧停止亲热，穿好衣服）钱德，我从窗户看到你们了！你对我妹妹做的事我都看见了！快出来！

Chandler

(To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. You know, what was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window)

（对莫妮卡说）完了！我们也算风光过了，多久了？四个月？五个月？比很多人一辈子都久！再见啦，保重！（亲了莫妮卡，准备从阳台窗户爬出去）

Monica

(She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?

（打开门）嘿，罗斯，怎么了老弟？

(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)

（罗斯看到钱德，绕着餐桌追他，钱德躲到莫妮卡身后。）

Ross

What the hell are doing?!!

你们到底在干什么？！

Rachel

(running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!

（和乔伊从男生公寓跑过来）怎么了？！

Chandler

Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.

我觉得罗斯知道我和莫妮卡的事了。

Joey

(panicking) Dude! He's right there!

（慌了）兄弟！他就在那儿！

Ross

(To Chandler) I thought you were my best friend, this is my sister! My best friend and my sister! I-I cannot believe this!

（对钱德说）我还把你当最好的朋友，她是我妹妹！我最好的朋友和我妹妹！我不敢相信！

Chandler

Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.

我们不是玩玩而已，我爱她，我爱上她了。

Monica

I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.

很抱歉让你以这种方式知道，是真的，我也爱他。

(There's a brief pause.)

（短暂停顿。）

Ross

(happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)

（开心）我最好的朋友和我妹妹！太不可思议了！（拥抱两人）

Monica

Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I'm just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"

这是你最后一箱衣服了，我要贴上标签“你当时在想什么？”

Rachel

Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.

真巧，我正准备去对门给钱德也写这句话。

Phoebe

Ok, you guys, I don't mean to make things worse, but umm, I don't want to live with Rachel anymore.

各位，我不想添乱，但我不想再和瑞秋一起住了。

Monica and Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Phoebe

You're just so mean to each other! And I don't want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!

你们对彼此太刻薄了！我不想和瑞秋最后闹成这样，我还是喜欢你们的！

Rachel

Well, Phoebe that's fine because I'm not moving.

菲比，没关系，我不搬了。

Phoebe

What else?

还有呢？

Monica

When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.

我洗澡的时候，她会在镜子上给我留小纸条。

Rachel

Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.

是啊，我会。

Monica

When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.

我看书在沙发上睡着，她会给我盖毯子。

Rachel

Well you know, I don't want you to be cold.

我怕你着凉嘛。

Monica

And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)

我告诉她要和钱德同居，她特别支持我。（对瑞秋说，哭了）你太好了，让我轻松了很多。现在你要走了，我却要和男生一起住！（两人都哭了）

TIME LAPSE

时间快进

(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel's old and now empty room.)

（莫妮卡关上门，慢慢走进瑞秋曾经住过、现在空荡荡的房间。）

Chandler

(entering) Hey.

（走进来）嘿。

Monica

She really left.

她真的走了。

Chandler

I know. (He kisses her.)

我知道。（亲了亲她）

Monica

Thank you.

谢谢你。

Chandler

No problem roomie. (She turns around and hugs him.)

不客气，室友。（莫妮卡转身抱住他）

Monica

Can I ask you a question?

我能问你个问题吗？

Chandler

Sure!

当然！

Monica

What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)

那只狗怎么会在这儿？！（看到客厅里的狗）

Chandler

Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.

小家伙。我知道这不是你们原本计划的感恩节，但我觉得特别好，因为没有离婚，也没有吐得一塌糊涂。我在想，如果你们去了韦尔，和家人在一起，没那些乱七八糟的事，我们也不会聚在一起。所以我想说，我很庆幸你们的感恩节都搞砸了。

All

That's so sweet.

太暖心了。

Ross

And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.

祝圣诞节糟透了。

Rachel

And a crappy New Year.

祝新年也一团糟。

Chandler

Here, here!

干杯！

Rachel

You can't move. You just... you just can't.

你们不能搬家，真的不能。

Joey

Rachel's right. This is where you guys belong.

瑞秋说得对，你们就该待在这里。

Phoebe

Yeah, you don't wanna live in Westchester. That's like the worst of the Chesters.

是啊，别去西切斯特住，那地方糟透了。

Ross

You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)

有时候我一个人在公寓，看向这边，看到你们在吃饭、看电视，我就很安心。以后我再看过来，能看到谁？戈特利布一家？杨家？他们可不让我安心。（乔伊拍拍罗斯的背）

Rachel

Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.

是啊，别搬了，留下来吧……（看向罗斯）晚上记得拉窗帘就行。

(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)

（电话响了，钱德去接）

Chandler

Hello? It's Nancy, they responded to our offer.

喂？是南茜，对方回复我们的出价了。

Monica

And?

怎么样？

(Chandler listens to what Nancy says)

（钱德听南茜说话）

Chandler

(to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.

（对南茜说）好，谢谢……（对莫妮卡说）他们拒绝了，一分钱都不肯降价。

Monica

We can't afford that.

我们买不起那个价格。

Chandler

I know.

我知道。

Monica

Well, there you go.

那也好，不用搬了。

(Chandler and Monica hug)

（两人拥抱）

Joey

I'm really sorry you guys.

真替你们可惜。

Ross

Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.

是啊，我也觉得可惜。更可惜的是，我不该说我从窗户偷看你们的事。

Rachel

Yeah, we're gonna let you be alone.

我们不打扰你们了。

Phoebe

(to Monica) You're gonna be okay?

（对莫妮卡说）你没事吧？

Monica

Yeah, we'll be okay.

没事的。

Ross

Love you guys. (he kisses Monica, he, Rachel and Phoebe leave.)

爱你们。（亲了莫妮卡，和瑞秋、菲比一起离开）

Joey

You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.

抱歉之前我不支持你们。

Chandler

That's okay, we understand.

没事，我们理解。

Joey

And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?

对了，那个南茜……你要是不和她在一起，我能追她吗？

(Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.)

（钱德把南茜的名片给乔伊，乔伊开心地接过离开）

Monica

I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much.

我知道还有别的房子，但我真的太喜欢那栋了。

Chandler

Yeah... Well, it's a good thing we got it then.

是啊……还好我们买到了。

Monica

What?

什么？

Chandler

We got the house.

我们买到那栋房子了。

Monica

Oh my God!

天啊！

Chandler

I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.

我只是不想当着他们的面告诉你。

Monica

Oh my God! My God! We've got the house!?

天啊！我们买到房子了？！

Chandler

We're getting the house. (they hug) We're getting the house.

我们买到了。（拥抱）买到了。

Monica

And a baby...

还有宝宝……

Chandler

We're growing up.

我们长大了。

Monica

We sure are.

是啊。

Chandler

So who's gonna tell them?

谁去跟他们说？

Monica

(quickly) Not it!

（立刻）我不去！

Chandler

Not it! Damn it!

我也不去！可恶！

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时段

Monica

Rachel, this is yours.

瑞秋，这是你的。

Rachel

Aah! Why? What are these for?

啊！为什么送礼物？

Chandler

You'll see.

等下就知道了。

Monica

All right, everybody open them!

大家都打开吧！

(they all tear off the wrapping paper)

（众人拆开包装纸）

Rachel

Ooh! Oh wow this is so beautiful. (she got a scarf)

哇！好漂亮啊。（收到一条围巾）

Phoebe

Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)

哦！这就是我上次在店里看中的耳环。（收到耳环）

Monica

I know.

我知道。

Ross

I love this. (he got a sweater)

我好喜欢。（收到一件毛衣）

Joey

A meatball Sub? Thanks! (he got a meatball sandwich)

肉丸三明治？谢谢！（收到肉丸三明治）

Ross

Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?

说真的，怎么突然送礼物？

Chandler

Well, I didn't know how to tell you before, but... We got the house.

之前不知道怎么开口，我们买到房子了。

Monica

Enjoy!

好好享受礼物吧！

(they both run off, leaving Ross, Phoebe and Rachel stunned.)

（两人跑开，留下罗斯、菲比和瑞秋一脸震惊。）

Joey

(speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?

（嘴里塞满三明治）他们说啥了？

THE END

剧终