The One With The Late Thanksgiving

Monica

Hey guys!

嘿，大家好！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

We need to talk to you about something.

我们有点事要和你们谈谈。

Chandler

Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year.

是的。我们觉得今年没法承办感恩节晚餐了。

All

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Are you kidding?

你在开玩笑吧？

Chandler

Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.

嗯，就是工作，还有领养孩子的压力，我们实在没精力了。而且，每年都让我们受累，这不公平。

Ross

(skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!

（怀疑地）这不像你会说的话……这是莫尼卡的意思！

Chandler

No, no! We made this decision together.

不，不是！这是我们一起做的决定。

Ross

She's putting words in your mouth!

她在替你说话！

Joey

Don't you put words in people's mouths, you put turkey in people's mouths!

你别在这儿搬弄是非，该把火鸡端上桌才对！

Rachel

I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!

真不敢相信！这可是爱玛的第一个感恩节！

Monica

No, it's not!

才不是呢！

Rachel

It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?

不是？（小声对罗斯说）她什么时候出生的？

Phoebe

Well, personally I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.

嗯，我个人觉得你们能休息一下挺好的。

Monica

Thank you, Pheebs!

谢谢你，菲比！

Phoebe

Sure. It's just as well... I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch.

不客气。反正也无所谓……我是说，去年的晚餐就不怎么样。我觉得她手艺大不如前了。

Monica

What? You are way off, lady!

什么？你可别乱说，女士！

Phoebe

Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.

是吗？真的吗？是吗？那你不如再做一次感恩节晚餐，证明我错了！你想想，想想看，你肯定想做得比去年更好。你这是在和……自己较劲。

Monica

That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this!

我就爱和自己较劲！好，今年我们办！

Chandler

Don't let yourself get manipulated this way!

别这么轻易被人激将了！

Monica

Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME!

嘿，钱德，别插手！这是我和……我自己之间的事！

Chandler

We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?

这种事我们应该一起决定！我给你录的菲尔博士节目你没看吗？

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi! Happy Thanksgiving!

嗨！感恩节快乐！

Phoebe

Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.

哦，是啊，祝这个无谓屠杀火鸡的日子快乐。

Monica

You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?

各位，我在布利克街那家面包店订了些巧克力派。你们能帮我取一下吗？

Phoebe

You're not making the pies yourself?

你不自己做派吗？

Monica

No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I entered this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.

不，我不做巧克力派。我小时候参加过一个吃派比赛，吃了太多，现在一想到巧克力派就恶心。

Rachel

Did you at least win the contest?

那你至少赢了比赛吧？

Monica

2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.

两分钟吃了12个，还啃了半个烤盘！好了，四点见。

Rachel

Can't wait!

太期待了！

Monica

This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!

这次晚餐肯定超棒！去年的我，你输定了！

(Monica leaves)

（莫尼卡离开）

Phoebe

Hey Rach.

嘿，瑞秋。

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Phoebe

What's Emma doing today?

爱玛今天有安排吗？

Rachel

Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?

嗯，我想想……我知道她要和律师见面，然后要拉一大泡屎。怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.

我想让她参加婴儿选美比赛。

Rachel

Oh my God! That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard!

天哪！这是我听过最变态的事！

Phoebe

Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!

好吧，不过你先别急着拒绝，我朋友苏珊也要带孩子去，跟爱玛比起来，那孩子丑死了！

Rachel

Oh! Phoebe, all babies are beautiful!

哦！菲比，所有宝宝都很可爱啊！

Phoebe

(sarcastic) Oh... okay.

（讽刺地）哦……好吧。

Rachel

Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...

菲比，把宝宝们比来比去，就为了个奖杯评判谁更可爱，这种想法……

Rachel

And a thousand dollars.

还有一千美元奖金。

Rachel

...is something I'm very interested in! Oh please, do not tell Ross. He still believes that (in a deep voice, mocking Ross) what's in the inside is important...

……我超感兴趣！拜托，千万别告诉罗斯。他还傻乎乎地觉得（压低声音模仿罗斯）内在美才重要……

Phoebe

Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.

好，对了，比赛时爱玛需要一套牛仔女孩的服装。

Rachel

Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?

感恩节我上哪儿找牛仔女孩的衣服啊？

Phoebe

Well, I was thinking...

嗯，我在想……

Rachel

Oh, take the clothes of Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid.

哦，把乔伊的椰菜娃娃衣服扒下来。

Phoebe

Yeah!

对！

Monica

(Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?

（听到钱德笑）又有人掉指挥棒了？

Chandler

Why come all the way from Kansas to do that?

为啥非要从堪萨斯大老远跑来干这事？

Monica

(she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!

（尝了尝做的菜）我不是变老了，是变得更厉害了！

Chandler

You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!

你知道我刚想到什么吗？这可能是我们最后一次两人过感恩节了。说不定我们很快就能有宝宝了！

Monica

You don't know that.

这可说不准。

Chandler

Somebody is gonna pick us.

肯定会有人选我们的。

Monica

Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!

话是这么说，可领养机构好几周都没消息了！

Chandler

I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!

我跟你说，肯定能成！明年就是你、我，还有小海明威·宾了。（停顿）怎么了，他是我最喜欢的作家！

Monica

Name one of his books.

说出他一本书的名字。

Chandler

(after a long pause) "The Firm"?

（停顿许久）《糖衣陷阱》？

Monica

Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...

好了，火鸡进烤箱了，填料也准备好了……

Chandler

You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.

你总是一个人忙活这顿饭，今年让我帮忙吧。

Monica

Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.

哦，钱德，你真好。但你也不用菲尔博士说什么你就做什么呀。

Chandler

I'm serious, let me do something, just not the turkey or the stuffing, nothing "high profile".

我是认真的，让我干点活吧，别让我做火鸡和填料这种显眼的就行。

Monica

Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.

好，我想想……有了，酸梅酱，做起来简单，而且没人在意好不好吃。

Chandler

Tell me more.

快说说。

Monica

Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)

好，我去走廊对面看个东西。你先把这些洗了。（递给钱德一碗酸梅，出门时看到他拿着一瓶洗洁精）别用洗洁精洗！！（离开）

Chandler

You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!

你肯定没吃过我做的洗洁精土豆！

(Ross and Joey enter)

（罗斯和乔伊走进来）

Ross

Hey! Hey, guess what Joey has!

嘿！猜猜乔伊弄到什么了！

Joey

Three tickets to today's Rangers game!!

三张今天游骑兵队比赛的门票！！

Ross

Dude, I wanted him to guess.

拜托，我是想让他猜。

Joey

Oh.

哦。

Chandler

Oh my God!

天哪！

Joey

Yeah, they're great seats too!

而且座位超棒！

Ross

Guess where they are?

猜猜在哪个位置？

Joey

Center ice.

冰场正中间。

Ross

Did I do something to you?

我得罪你了吗？

Chandler

Hmm, the game's at one.

嗯，比赛一点开始。

Ross

So?

怎么了？

Chandler

Dinner is at four, we'll never gonna make it back.

晚餐四点开始，我们肯定赶不回来。

Joey

So we'll leave before it's over, we'll be back in time.

那我们提前退场就行，肯定能赶回来。

Chandler

You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.

现在说得轻松，路上可能要花很久。而且乔伊可能会迷路，还得广播找人去接他。

Joey

Dude, two times that happened!

老兄，就两次而已！

Chandler

Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!

你看，莫尼卡忙了一整天，她本来就不想办这次晚餐，我们不该去的！

Ross

He's right, man.

他说得对。

Joey

Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.

好吧，好像是这么个理。行，四点见。

Chandler

Okay. (pause) And get ready to taste my very special cranberries. Or should I say... chanberries!

好。（停顿）准备好尝尝我的特制酸梅酱吧。或者该叫……钱梅酱！

Joey

That's some gentle comedy, dude. (he and Ross leave)

这冷笑话也太尬了。（和罗斯离开）

Ross

We're still going at the game, right?

我们还是要去看比赛的，对吧？

Joey

Yeah!

当然！

Ross

Yeah.

没错。

Host

This is contestant number sixteen, Rebecca...

接下来是16号选手，丽贝卡……

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Rachel

Oh Phoebe, listen. Well, I think we gotta go. This place is really freaking me out. I've been watching this guy over there, I don't think he came with a kid!

菲比，听我说，我们得走了。这地方太吓人了。我一直盯着那边那个男的，他根本没带孩子来！

Phoebe

We can't leave now! There was this one baby, Haley, who was favourite to win and she got croup, so she had to stay home! This competition just blew wide open, folks!

现在不能走！原本最有希望夺冠的宝宝海莉得了哮吼，只能在家休息！比赛现在胜负难定了！

Rachel

Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!

菲比，我觉得……太诡异了，我刚看到一个一岁的宝宝穿着连裤袜到处跑！

Phoebe

Oh, I know, we should have been more prepared. (she looks around) It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron. Oh my God, they just took her sweater off. Look at those arms! Hello Michelin Man.

是啊，我们准备得太不充分了。（环顾四周）没事。依我看，现在我们真正的对手是卡梅伦。天哪，她们刚把她的毛衣脱了。看她那胳膊，活像米其林轮胎人。

Rachel

Oh, Phoebe! Come on! You know what, it's already three o'clock and they haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We gotta go, we got dinner!

菲比，别这样！都三点了，还没轮到爱玛那组呢。我们得走了，还要回去吃晚餐！

Phoebe

(panicking) But Emma's got what it takes, she could go all the way!

（着急地）但爱玛有夺冠的实力，她能一路赢到底的！

Rachel

Phoebe, you have to calm down.

菲比，你冷静点。

Phoebe

Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!

好。瑞秋，三州地区最可爱的宝宝都在这儿了！我听到一个评委说，没人能比得上爱玛！

Rachel

Really?

真的？

Phoebe

Yeah!

真的！

Rachel

You heard them say that?

你亲耳听到的？

Phoebe

Yeah!

没错！

Rachel

All right, okay. Alright, let's give to these babies something to cry about!

行，好吧。那就让这些宝宝输得心服口服！

Phoebe

Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup!

太好了！耶！开工吧！爱玛需要化点妆！

Rachel

No, what?

什么，你说啥？

Phoebe

Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!

不然跟其他选手比，她会显得气色很差！

Rachel

No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!

不行菲比，我不让你给我宝宝化妆！

Phoebe

Why not!

为什么不行！

Rachel

Because I already did!

因为我已经化好了！

(there's a lot of shouting and yelling)

（现场一片欢呼声和呐喊声）

Joey

Oh, Bob, get off the guy!

哦，鲍勃，别缠着人家！

Ross

Oh! What a game, huh?

哇！这场比赛太精彩了，对吧？

Joey

I know, yeah.

可不是嘛。

Ross

I can't believe Chandler is missing this!

真不敢相信钱德错过了这么精彩的比赛！

Joey

Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.

是啊，我也替他可惜，但说实话，（拿起钱德座位上盘子里的玉米片）我太爱这个玉米片专座了。

Ross

Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.

是啊，你别总拍开我的手，我会更享受。

Joey

Ohhhh! These seats are great!

哇！这座位太棒了！

Ross

I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!

可不是嘛！我之前来看冰上假日表演的时候（乔伊紧张地环顾四周，生怕别人听到），座位特别远，关颖珊都看不到我举的横幅！

Joey

(looks at the time) Wow, hey, we'd better get going. If we don't leave right now, we'll be late for dinner.

（看了看时间）哇，我们该走了。现在不走，晚餐就要迟到了。

Ross

Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.

但比赛太精彩了！晚一点没关系，女生们都在呢，再看一个进球就走。

Joey

I don't know...

不太好吧……

Ross

One more fight!

再看一次冲突就走！

Joey

Okay.

行。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Monica

Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!

人都去哪儿了？迟到四十五分钟了！

Chandler

I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!

真不敢相信他们还没来！我忙前忙后图什么啊？他们毁了我的酸梅日！

Joey

How late are we?

我们迟到多久了？

Ross

Forty-five minutes.

四十五分钟。

Joey

Wow (He opens his apartment door and throws their stuff in.)

天呐。（打开自己公寓门，把东西扔进去。）

Ross

(handing him his coat) Here!

（递给他外套）拿着！

Joey

Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)

好。瑞秋和菲比肯定已经到了，说不定他们已经开吃了。我们悄悄溜进去，没人会知道我们去哪儿了！（举起手，右手戴着游骑兵队的泡沫大手指）

Ross

You may want to lose the foam finger!

你最好把那泡沫手指摘了！

Joey

Oh, no, no, no, no. You just want to put it on your hand!

不，才不摘呢。你就是想抢过去自己戴！

(Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive)

（瑞秋、菲比和爱玛到了）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Oh!

哦！

Joey

You are not at Thanksgiving?

你们怎么没在吃感恩节晚餐？

Rachel

No...

我们也没到……

Phoebe

No, we're late!

我们也迟到了！

Rachel

What are you doing here!

你们怎么在这儿！

Ross

We're late too! (Rachel screams)

我们也迟到了！（瑞秋尖叫）

Joey

We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)

我们以为你们会准时到，所以觉得迟到也没关系。（用泡沫手指指着女生们）

Phoebe

Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani!

别用那玩意儿指着我，崔比安尼！

Ross

So, nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us!

所以里面没人？莫尼卡会杀了我们的！

Joey

Yeah, where were you!

是啊，你们去哪儿了！

Ross

Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!

对啊，那奖杯是怎么回事！

Phoebe

Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!

呃，我们去参加拼字比赛了！

Rachel

And I won!

而且我赢了！

Ross

You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.

你在感恩节赢了一场成人拼字比赛。

Rachel

Yes! (spells it) Y-E-S. Yes!

没错！（拼单词）Y-E-S，没错！

Ross

Let me see this... (he takes the trophy from Rachel's hands) Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division.

让我看看……（从瑞秋手里拿过奖杯）纽约区超级小可爱总冠军。

Rachel

Yeah. That's me!

对，就是我！

Ross

You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?

你们带爱玛去参加选美比赛了？

Phoebe

And it looks like she put makeup on her!

而且她还给爱玛化妆了！

Joey

Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before...

等一下，等一下，我好像在哪儿见过这套牛仔女孩的衣服……

Ross

I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!

太离谱了，她是我们的女儿！你们把她当展示的小狗一样，太过分了！

Rachel

She won a thousand dollars!

她赢了一千美元呢！

Ross

So this is an annual thing?

所以这是每年都有的活动？

Joey

(realizing) Oh! That's Alicia Mae Emory's outfit!

（恍然大悟）哦！这是我椰菜娃娃艾丽西亚·梅·埃默里的衣服！

Phoebe

You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!

各位，屋里的人肯定越来越生气了！

Ross

Yeah. What are we gonna do?

是啊。我们该怎么办？

Rachel

Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.

我不知道，你们想办法吧，我得哄爱玛睡午觉了。

Joey

All right. Hey Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.

行。嘿瑞秋，进屋的时候，给艾丽西亚·梅盖点东西。

Phoebe

Alright, what are we gonna say?

好了，我们该找什么借口？

Ross

Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!

有了，我们就说被抢劫了！没人会对被抢劫的人发火！

Phoebe

Oh, good, that's good, but you don't look like you were mugged!

好主意，但你看起来不像被抢过啊！

Joey

No. Here (he tears off the pocket from Ross' shirt, and tears off everything below that as well.)

不像才怪。（扯掉罗斯衬衫的口袋，还把下面的布料也撕了。）

Ross

(to Joey) HEY!

（对乔伊）喂！

Monica

Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)

你们听到动静了吗？（钱德站起来走到门口，从猫眼往外看）

Chandler

(peeping) They're out there!

（从猫眼）他们在外面！

Monica

Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!

哦！让我看看！天哪，太过分了！迟到一小时，还在外面聊天！

Chandler

(peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!

（从猫眼）画面都变形了！乔伊好像长了只大手！上面还写着“游骑兵队”。他们去看比赛了！

Monica

(gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!

（倒吸一口气）哦！他们死定了！

Chandler

(looking through the peephole again) Ross' shirt is torn.

（又看了一眼猫眼）罗斯的衬衫破了。

Monica

Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!

哦！迟到就算了，还邋里邋遢的！

(Rachel comes out of her apartment)

（瑞秋从公寓里出来）

Rachel

Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?

好了，爱玛睡着了……（对罗斯）你的衬衫怎么了？

Ross

I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.

我被抢劫了。他们把我的口袋都抢走了。

Phoebe

We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.

我们只是……在想借口。有了！我们就说莫尼卡跟我们说的是五点，不是四点。这样我们就不算迟到了！（众人刚点头，她又说）或者……我们在她公寓里放点毒品，然后报警抓她。

Ross

(sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.

（讽刺地）这倒是个处理我们家里多余毒品的好办法。

Rachel

You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)

我觉得就说她定的五点好了。自然一点，我们没迟到，准时到的。（话音刚落，一张纸条从莫尼卡和钱德的门缝里塞了出来，罗斯捡起来大声念）

Ross

(Reading the note) We know you're out there. (Rachel gasps)

（念纸条）我们知道你们在外面。（瑞秋倒吸一口气）

Joey

(whispering) Who do you think its from?

（小声说）你觉得是谁写的？

Rachel

Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.

天哪，糟了，太糟了。

Ross

Well, let's just go in there and face them.

算了，直接进去面对他们吧。

Phoebe

Well, I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.

我才不先进去。莫尼卡额头上的青筋肯定都爆出来了。

Joey

I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.

我最怕她那青筋了，活像一道闪电。

Rachel

Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don't we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).

我有个主意。我们玩石头剪刀布，输的人先进去。（众人同意）准备好了吗？（一起伸手，瑞秋出布，菲比和罗斯出石头，乔伊却诡异地上扬手指晃动，众人疑惑地看着他）

Joey

(smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!

（笑得合不拢嘴）啊哈！我赢了！

Ross

What is that?

你这是什么？

Joey

That's fire. Beats everything.

这是火，能赢所有。

Phoebe

Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).

哦，是吗？能赢水气球吗？（把手盖在他的“火”上，模仿水气球爆开，把火浇灭）

Joey

Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.

哦！厉害，菲比·布菲，太厉害了。

Rachel

Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let's just all go in at the same time.

好了别闹了，一起进去吧。

All

Alright, okay. (Phoebe reaches for the door, and tries to open it but it's locked)

好。（菲比伸手去开门，发现门锁了）

Phoebe

It's locked.

锁了。

Ross

Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".

“进来吧，我屁股毛多得吓人”。

Rachel

Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We're so sorry we're late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.

好了，别废话了……（开始敲门）各位，对不起我们迟到了。让我们进去一起吃晚餐吧。

Monica

No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy.

不让进！菜都凉了，火鸡干了，填料也软塌塌的。

Chandler

Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce?

是啊，还有一碗酸梅酱……（小声对莫尼卡）酸梅酱会怎么样？

Monica

(Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It's fine.

（翻白眼）没事，好好的。

Chandler

(relieved) Oh thank God!

（松了口气）谢天谢地！

Ross

Come on you guys, we're sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.

拜托，我们真的错了，我们地铁坏了。

Chandler

(looking through the peephole) That's a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey's hand.

（从猫眼）撒谎，你们去看比赛了，我都看到乔伊的大手了。

Ross

(to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)

（对戴着三英尺蓝色大手套的乔伊）拜托把那玩意儿摘了！！（一把扯下来扔到地上）

Rachel

You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)

各位，别这样，迟到原因不重要。我们都到了，让我们进去尝尝你做的美味火鸡吧。（一片用铝箔包着的火鸡肉从门缝里塞了出来）

Joey

I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)

我以前梦到过传真机干过这事。（罗斯捡起火鸡肉）

Monica

That's all the turkey you're gonna get.

你们就只能吃这点火鸡了。

Ross

How are we gonna decide who gets this?

这点火鸡我们怎么分？

Joey

(holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)

（握拳）水气球赢！（把肉塞进嘴里，把铝箔还给罗斯）

Phoebe

What are we gonna do? I'm starving.

我们该怎么办？我快饿死了。

Rachel

(gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.

（恍然大悟）哦，我想起来了。我们还有吃的，莫尼卡早上放了东西在我们烤箱里。

Phoebe

Oh yeah!

对啊！

Monica

Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry.

敢动试试，有你们好受的。

Chandler

Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)

各位，听她的吧。她额头上的青筋比我见过的都粗。（莫尼卡瞪了钱德一眼）

(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)

（瑞秋端着锅从公寓出来，乔伊期待地看着，瑞秋打开锅）

Rachel

Huh... OH MY GOD IT'S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. (they all look appalled)

呃……天哪，是抱子甘蓝。（众人一脸嫌弃）

Ross

That's worse than no food.

这还不如没吃的。

(Monica looks insulted)

（莫尼卡一脸被冒犯的表情）

Chandler

HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!

哈哈！你们就只能吃莫尼卡的臭抱子甘蓝！

Monica

Stinky?!

臭？！

Chandler

Please let me stay on this side of the door.

求你让我待在门这边。

Rachel

Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.

我知道了……我还有这里的旧钥匙！（进屋拿了钥匙回来）我们直接开门进去。

Phoebe

Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.

这样不太好吧。他们明显不想理我们。

Rachel

You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)

说实话，我也不想理他们，但今天是感恩节，不想在一起也得在一起。（准备开门）

Joey

(to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.

（对罗斯）进去当面道歉，看着他们的眼睛。我肯定能让他们原谅我们。

Ross

I don't know...

我不确定……

Joey

I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.

相信我……（眼睛瞪得极大，像要爆出来，盯着罗斯不眨眼）我可以的。

Ross

(Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!

（也盯着他，然后移开目光）（对菲比和瑞秋）嗯，他可以的！

(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)

（瑞秋终于打开门，但门链还挂着）

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)

（乔伊把头从门缝伸进去，莫尼卡和钱德正坐在餐桌旁，门前还摆着一张堆满食物的小桌子）

(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)

（莫尼卡和钱德看着门缝里的乔伊，毫无笑意）

Joey

Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...

火鸡、填料……

(Monica is now smiling)

（莫尼卡露出了微笑）

Chandler

The cranberries...?

酸梅酱呢……？

Monica

Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em!

够了！猴子都会做！

Joey

(still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.

（头还卡在门缝里，像刚才盯罗斯那样瞪大眼睛盯着莫尼卡和钱德）各位，我们真的很愧疚。

Chandler

He's doing that weird eye contact thing. Don't look at him, don't look at him! (They both look away)

他又来这诡异的眼神杀了，别看他，别看他！（两人都移开目光）

Joey

Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?

拜托，我们真的（眼睛瞪得更大）非常非常抱歉。（莫尼卡和钱德捂住眼睛）（对走廊里的其他人）对吧？

(Ross head appears above Joey's, Rachel's below Joey's and Phoebe's at the bottom)

（罗斯的头从乔伊上方探出来，瑞秋的在下方，菲比的在最下面）

Ross

I feel terrible.

我超愧疚。

Phoebe and Rachel

So, so sorry.

真的很抱歉。

Joey

(smiling) Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?

（笑着）别闹别扭了，你们辛苦做了这么多吃的。原谅我们，一起好好吃顿饭吧？

Chandler

The floating heads do make a good point.

这些飘着的脑袋说得有点道理。

Monica

Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.

是啊，他们看起来真的很愧疚。

Rachel

So bad.

超级愧疚。

Ross

So bad.

非常愧疚。

Phoebe

So bad.

愧疚死了。

Monica

(Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.

（起身）好了好了。你们俩（对菲比和瑞秋）去拿甜品，我就让你们进来。

Rachel

Dessert?

甜品？

Monica

Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?

对啊，我让你们俩去取派，没忘吧？

Phoebe

Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).

派？哦，我们以为你说的是奖。（回到走廊，拿着爱玛的奖杯回来）给你！（递给莫尼卡）

(Monica takes it and reads the label)

（莫尼卡接过奖杯，念出上面的字）

Monica

Grand Supreme Little Darling?

超级小可爱总冠军？

Rachel

Congratulatioooons!

恭喜你——哦！

Monica

Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.

天哪！你们居然忘了拿派？太过分了。逼着我做晚餐，迟到一小时，连这点小事都办不好。

Ross

Really girls, not cool.

女生们，你们太不地道了。

Chandler

Well, you manheads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game. You knew it would make you late, and you still went anyway.

你们男生也没好到哪儿去。撒谎去看比赛，明知道会迟到还非要去。

Joey

Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!

够了！我受够了！我们都道歉了。今天是感恩节啊！是原谅的日子！

Ross

It's a day to be thankful.

是感恩的日子。

Joey

(to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!

（对罗斯口型）别逼我揍你！

Monica

It's too late for apologies.

道歉太晚了。

Joey

Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.

行！我们走。谁稀罕你们这破晚餐。

Chandler

That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.

你不流口水的话，这话会更有说服力。

Rachel

Ewww, is that what that is?

呃，原来那是口水啊？

Joey

Sorry!

抱歉！

Phoebe

Come on you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.

走吧，我们自己过感恩节。

Rachel

Yeah! I'll cook!

好！我来做饭！

Ross

Yeah! Let's go out.

对！我们出去吃。

Rachel

Hey!

喂！

Joey

Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.

行！祝你们三个感恩节愉快。

Monica

The three of us?

三个？

Joey

Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!

对啊！你、钱德，还有你额头上的青筋！

(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)

（莫尼卡倒吸一口气，捂住额头。菲比、瑞秋和罗斯把头缩了回去）

Joey

Ha!

哈！

(When Joey tries to pull back his head, he notices he is stuck)

（乔伊想把头缩回去，发现卡住了）

Joey

Oh-oh! I'm stuck!

哦！我卡住了！

Monica

Joey, that is not gonna work.

乔伊，别装了。

Joey

No seriously... I'm really wedged in here.

不是装的……我真的卡得死死的。

Phoebe

I'll pull you through.

我把你拉出来。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Joey

(in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.

（痛苦地）啊——住手！别拉了！我怕把头扯坏了。

Chandler

A little late for that.

现在才担心有点晚了。

Joey

Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.

快点，想个办法。

Monica

Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.

好吧，反正这事没完。（对钱德）找点东西抹在他脸两侧润滑一下。

Chandler

Uhm, we've got turkey grease.

嗯，有火鸡油。

Monica

Bring it.

拿来。

Joey

I just wanna say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a seperate person...

我想说，对不起我把青筋当成另一个人了……

(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)

（钱德递给莫尼卡一个一英尺长、装着火鸡油的“滴管”）

Monica

Here you go!

来吧！

(She squirts some of the grease along Joey's face.)

（把油挤在乔伊的脸上）

Joey

Oh, that smells good!

哇，好香啊！

(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)

（他舔着流到脸上的油，莫尼卡又挤了些在另一边，他的舌头跟着移动）

Joey

Okay.

好了。

Monica

Okay, try it.

试试能不能缩回去。

(Joey tries to pull back at all his might.)

（乔伊用力往后缩）

Joey

It isn't working.

不行。

Monica

Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain.

只能把链子拆了。

Joey

Well hurry, I can't feel my ears!

快点，我耳朵都没知觉了！

Chandler

Can you ever feel your ears?

你平时能感觉到自己的耳朵吗？

Joey

Interesting...

有意思……

Monica

Chandler, where are your tools?

钱德，你的工具呢？

Chandler

(sarcastically) Oh, I left them on my bulldozer... I don't have tools!

（讽刺地）哦，落我推土机上了……我没工具！

Monica

I do, but Rachel borrowed them.

我有，但被瑞秋借走了。

Rachel

I lent them to Ross.

我借给罗斯了。

Ross

I gave them to Joey.

我给乔伊了。

Joey

I left them at the park.

落公园了。

Monica

Oh!

天呐！

Ross

(looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.

（看着乔伊的屁股）我好想捉弄他。

Phoebe

I've already stuffed a bunch of Brussel sprouts down his pants.

我已经往他裤子里塞了一堆抱子甘蓝了。

Ross

Nice!

厉害！

(The phone rings in Chandler and Monica's apartment)

（莫尼卡和钱德家的电话响了）

Monica

Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.

我去接电话。我回来的时候，你们最好都走了。感恩节结束了，青筋发话了。

Joey

It's really starting to hurt.

真的开始疼了。

Chandler

Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!

好了，我拉门，你们使劲推，应该能腾出空间把他弄出来，好吗？推！

Phoebe

Just a sec., we're kind in the middle of something here.

等一下，我们正忙着呢。

(Rachel, Ross and Phoebe have their hands full and are stuffing all kinds of things down Joeys pants.)

（瑞秋、罗斯和菲比正忙着往乔伊裤子里塞各种东西）

Joey

Ooh! Stop putting things down my pants!

哦！别往我裤子里塞东西了！

Chandler

Come on guys, PUSH!

别闹了，快推！

Joey

Yeah! Come on!

对，快推！

Joey and Chandler

PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!

推！推！推！

(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)

（门链从墙上脱落，乔伊用力过猛，直接摔进厨房，撞向堆满食物的带轮餐桌。桌子被撞得滑进客厅，食物撒了一地，乔伊也从桌上摔了下来……他迅速爬起来，有点烦躁，假装没事发生，身上沾满了食物污渍）

Chandler

My cranberries!

我的酸梅酱！

Joey

(looking at himself) Man, I've got food all over me.

（看着自己）天呐，我满身都是吃的。

(He licks his fingers, liking it. He offers Chandler a taste.)

（舔了舔手指，还挺开心，伸手让钱德也尝尝）

Chandler

Argh! I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you!

天呐！你闯大祸了，莫尼卡会杀了你的！

(Monica enters from the spare bedroom.)

（莫尼卡从备用卧室出来）

Chandler

(to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!

（对莫尼卡）你看！你看！就是那些飘着的脑袋干的！

Monica

(very emotional) I don't care.

（情绪激动）我不在乎。

(Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.)

（钱德不敢相信自己的耳朵，看看莫尼卡，又看看其他人，再看向莫尼卡）

Chandler

What's going on?

怎么了？

Monica

That was the adoption agency...

是领养机构打来的……

Chandler

And?

然后呢？

Monica

WE'RE GETTING A BABY!

我们可以领养宝宝了！

Chandler

Are you serious? (they hug)

真的吗？（两人拥抱）

Monica

There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!

俄亥俄州有个孕妇选中我们了！

(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)

（众人欢呼，瑞秋、罗斯、菲比也一起拥抱。乔伊也想加入，但身上黏糊糊的，只能站在后面）

Rachel

I'm so happy for you!

太替你们开心了！

Monica

This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!

今年的感恩节比去年强太多了！

(They all cheer and hug again, but Joey's eating the food off his shirt)

（众人再次欢呼拥抱，乔伊却在舔衣服上的食物）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时段

Rachel

To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.

敬莫尼卡和钱德……还有俄亥俄州那位准妈妈。

Ross

I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.

真开心你们终于要有宝宝了。

Phoebe

I know. Have you considered pageanting?

是啊。你们考虑过让宝宝参加选美比赛吗？

Monica

I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)

不敢相信他们打电话来了，我们真的要有宝宝了。（亲吻钱德）

Joey

Oh, I know how you feel...

我太懂这种心情了……

(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)

（莫尼卡和钱德疑惑地看着乔伊）

Rachel

Really?

真的吗？

Joey

Sure. I went through the exact same thing with Alicia Mae Emory... The waiting, the wondering... Then one day... I get that call from Toys "R" Us... She was in stock!

当然。我当初等艾丽西亚·梅·埃默里的时候也是这样……等待、期待……然后有一天，玩具反斗城打电话来，说她到货了！

Chandler

That is the exact same thing.

一模一样的经历。

THE END

剧终