The One With Ross's Grant

Phoebe

(she enters) Hey...

（走进来）嘿...

All

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Pheebs, what's wrong?

菲比，怎么了？

Phoebe

Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!

唉，戴着这个超大订婚戒指快把我累死了！（亮出戒指）

All

OH!

哦！

Rachel

My God!

天啊！

Joey

Hey!

哇！

Rachel

Congratulations! Wow!!

恭喜你！太棒了！

Ross

So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!

他单膝跪地了吗？准备求婚词了吗？还是（温柔地）哭了？（男生们看向他）没错，很意外吧，我就喜欢看求婚！

Phoebe

Well, it was really sweet, and like the most romantic thing ever.

特别温馨，简直是我这辈子最浪漫的事了。

Joey

Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!

那必须的！来...（举杯敬菲比）敬菲比，找到全世界最好的男人了！敬菲比和...（有点犹豫）应该是迈克吧？（停顿）敬菲比和迈克！

All

Whoo!

喔！

Phoebe

Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!

谢谢大家！（对瑞秋）对了，我有东西要给你！

Rachel

Mmh-mmh!

哦？

Phoebe

It's, yes, my little black book. It's got the numbers of all the guys I've dated.

是我的约会小本本，上面记着我所有约会过的男生电话。

Rachel

Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?

菲比宝贝，谢谢你啦，但我觉得我不用。你还是送给你其他单身的闺蜜吧。

Phoebe

I would, but you're the last one.

我也想啊，但你是最后一个单身的了。

Rachel

(angrily) GIVE ME THE BOOK! (she takes it and start reading) Pablo Diaz, Brady Smith, huh, "Guy-in-van"?

（生气地）把本子给我！（抢过来翻看）巴勃罗·迪亚兹、布雷迪·史密斯，呵，“开货车的男生”？

Phoebe

Oh, my first love!

那是我的初恋！

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

Monica

What does the red X next to Bob Greenmore's name mean?

鲍勃·格林莫名字旁边的红叉是什么意思？

Phoebe

Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.

去世了。（众人有点难过）没事没事，他年纪很大了！一辈子活得很圆满，当年还参加了奥马哈海滩的首批登陆战呢。

Chandler

Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.

唉，真不好意思，我结婚的时候也该把我的约会本给你们的！不过那算不上本子，就是张餐巾纸...上面只写了珍妮斯的电话。

Rachel

Phoebe, isn't Jethro Tull a band?

菲比，杰思罗·塔尔不是个乐队吗？

Phoebe

(proud of herself) Oh yes, they are.

（得意地）没错，就是乐队。

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Chandler

(he enters) Hey honey!

（走进来）嘿，亲爱的！

Joey

(Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!

（正趴在冰箱里找东西，只露出背影，随后关上冰箱门，露出乔伊的脸）嘿，甜心！

Chandler

Is Monica not here?

莫尼卡不在吗？

Joey

No.

不在。

Chandler

Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!

那我跟你说个事，我公司竞标到一个大客户！这是我第一个全国性广告！

Joey

Cool!

太酷了！

Chandler

Yeah, and I don't wanna brag but a lot of the ideas were mine! (silence) Hell, you weren't there? All the ideas were mine!!!

可不是嘛，我不想吹牛，但好多创意都是我想的！（没人回应）搞什么，你没在听吗？所有创意全是我的！！！

Joey

That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?

厉害！对了，能让我演这个广告吗？

Chandler

Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.

嗯...不好说，我觉得你不太适合这个角色。

Joey

What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?

怎么会？我什么角色都能演，我是变色龙！你看！（模仿胡子老头）我老了！（打哈欠）我累了！（模仿燥热的人）我好热！（再模仿发冷）我好冷！！怎么样？拜托，还有我演不了的吗？

Chandler

First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.

首先，演得挺像。但我真觉得你不合适，角色是个古板的大学教授。

Joey

I can do that! (in a deeper voice) "Hello, I'm your professor. When I'm not busy thinking of important things or... professing. I like to use..." Oh, what's the product?

我能演！（压低声音）“同学们好，我是你们的教授。我平时要么思考重要课题，要么...讲课。我常用的是...”对了，广告卖什么的？

Chandler

Software that facilitates inter-business networking e-solutions?

促进企业间网络互联的电子解决方案软件。

Joey

(after a long pause he starts miming again) I'm cold!

（沉默许久，又开始模仿发冷）我好冷！

Ross

(to Charlie) Hey!

（对查理）嘿！

Charlie

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.

猜猜谁入围了一笔巨额科研补助金的终选名单！给你个提示，这个人正看着你呢。

Charlie

Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!

除非是那个手塞进苏格兰裙里的怪人，不然我就说恭喜你啦！

Ross

Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!

我太激动了，我打败了几百个申请者，包括五个研究生同学。我可不是故意显摆啊...五个呢！

Charlie

Wow, that's great! So, tell me about the grant!

哇，太棒了！跟我说说这笔补助金吧！

Ross

Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!

好的，金额是两万五千美元。要是能拿到，我就能完成野外研究了！《古生物学评论》还会刊登关于我的文章！太棒了！这可是我名字第一次登上这本杂志，而且不会有人质疑我的研究了！

Charlie

Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?

等等，你说的是杜瓦尔补助金吗？

Ross

Yeah. Why?

对，怎么了？

Charlie

Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.

本杰明·霍巴特负责管理这笔补助金。

Ross

Your ex-boyfriend?

你的前男友？

Charlie

Yeah.

嗯。

Ross

So, your ex-boyfriend is gonna determine if your new boyfriend gets this grant? Wow, your new boyfriend is screwed!

所以，你的前男友要决定你的现男友能不能拿到补助金？天呐，我这下完了！

Charlie

No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.

别担心，我们和平分手的。说不定这事对你还有帮助呢。要不我们一起吃个饭，我介绍你们认识？

Ross

Well, if you think it would help.

你觉得有用的话，那就行。

Charlie

Yes, absolutely. I'll call him.

肯定有用，我给他打电话。

Ross

Ok, now, is there anything I can do to... you know, butter him up? Anything he really likes?

好，那我能做点什么讨好他吗？他有没有什么特别喜欢的东西？

Charlie

Mmh... he does have a pretty serious latex fetish.

嗯...他特别迷恋乳胶制品。

Ross

We'll see how dinner goes.

那就看晚餐情况再说吧。

Phoebe

(looking at Monica entering) Hey!

（看到莫尼卡走进来）嘿！

Monica

Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?

嘿，要不要去看电影？

Phoebe

Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.

我跟你说过啦，今天一整天都要收拾东西，好让迈克搬进来住。

Monica

Oh, right.

哦，对哦。

Phoebe

Yeah.

嗯。

Monica

Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!

既然来了，我就帮你收拾整理吧！刚好我带了标签打印机！

Phoebe

Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?

丢掉东西真的好难啊！你和钱德勒刚同居的时候，是不是也为丢东西互相妥协过？

Monica

Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up?

妥协的是钱德勒！他让你丢什么东西？

Phoebe

A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.

好多东西呢。最过分的是...他要我把格拉迪斯扔掉。

Monica

Who's Gladys? (Phoebe shows her a horrific painting with a half-a-body girl dummy coming out of the frame. Monica's frightened and she gasps.) Oh! What a tragic loss!

格拉迪斯是谁？（菲比拿出一幅吓人的画，画框里探出一个只剩半截身体的女孩玩偶。莫尼卡吓得倒吸一口气。）天呐！太可惜了吧！

Phoebe

Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!

可不是嘛，我真舍不得扔。有了！你把她收了吧！

Monica

(faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...

（假装开心）这...我...我不太好意思...

Phoebe

Why, you don't like her?

怎么，你不喜欢她吗？

Monica

Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!

当然喜欢，这么好的东西谁不喜欢！我马上收下！不过亲爱的，你别这么轻易妥协啊，你应该为格拉迪斯争取一下！

Phoebe

Really? You think?

真的吗？你觉得我该争取？

Monica

Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"

必须的！你就跟他说“对不起迈克，我不能没有她，她对我太重要了！”

Phoebe

Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.

好，我这就去争取！等等，我突然想到...我要是争取成功，你就拿不到格拉迪斯了。

Monica

Damn it, I did not think this through!

该死，我居然没想到这一点！

Chandler

Hey you guys.

嘿，各位。

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Oh! Any word on casting yet?

哦！选角有消息了吗？

Chandler

Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.

乔伊，我都说了，你不适合这个角色。

Joey

What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?

怎么就不适合了？瑞秋，我看着不像那种会卖电子垃圾的教授吗？

Rachel

I'm sorry, this sounds like something I'm never gonna be interested in.

抱歉，这种东西我肯定没兴趣。

Joey(to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.

（对钱德勒）拜托啦！我又不是让你帮什么大忙，演戏是我的本职工作，我是专业演员！（看了眼手表）天呐，我上班迟到两个小时了！（起身准备走）给你，这是我的作品集，里面有我拍过的所有广告。

Chandler

Joe...

乔伊...

Joey

Just watch it, and if you don't like it, you don't pass it on to your bosses!

你就看看，要是不喜欢，不给你老板看就是了！

Chandler

Fine!

行吧！

Joey

Thank you. (he sits down)

谢谢。（又坐下）

Chandler

Work, Joe!

赶紧上班去！

Joey

Damn it! (he leaves)

可恶！（离开）

Chandler(to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?

（对瑞秋）我现在该怎么办啊？

Rachel

Just tell Joey that you watched the tape and you liked it, but your bosses didn't. Then that way, you're the good guy and they're the bad guys.

你就跟乔伊说你看了，觉得不错，但你老板不同意。这样你做好人，让你老板当坏人。

Chandler

That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).

好主意！我觉得好，老板觉得不好。（透过窗户看到乔伊在搭讪女生）乔伊，看在上帝的份上，赶紧上班去！（乔伊跑走）

Ross

I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?

真不敢相信我要见到本杰明·霍巴特了。我一直觉得他是我幻想晚宴上要邀请的嘉宾之一。你说他会不会带克里斯蒂·布林克利或者C3PO一起来？

Charlie

(glances over Ross' shoulder) Sorry, looks like it's just him.

（看向罗斯身后）抱歉，看来就他一个人。

Benjamin

Charlie! My God, you look absolutely stunning!

查理！天呐，你美得惊艳绝伦！

Ross

Well, I... I am having a good hair day.

嗯...我今天发型也挺好看的。

Benjamin

So good to see you.

见到你太开心了。

Charlie

Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)

我也是。（她和本杰明拥抱了很久，罗斯假装清嗓子，直到两人分开）

Ross

I'm ok.

我没事。

Charlie

I'm sorry... (introduces them to each other) Ross Geller... Benjamin Hobart.

抱歉...（互相介绍）罗斯·盖勒，这位是本杰明·霍巴特。

Ross

It's an honor to meet you. I can't tell you how long I've been an admirer of your work, I mean, that Nobel prize, (he thumbs up) whoooo! I mean, I have to tell you that, you're one of the reasons I got into the field.

很荣幸见到您。我仰慕您的研究很久了，您拿了诺贝尔奖，（竖起大拇指）太厉害了！说实话，您是我投身这个领域的原因之一。

Benjamin

Oh, well, likewise. Actually, not likewise. I've never heard of you until this morning, but, it's nice to be nice!

哦，我也是。其实也不算，我今早才第一次听说你。不过，客气话还是要说的！

Charlie

Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair).

入座吧？（三人坐下，本杰明坐了罗斯原本的椅子）

Benjamin

(to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?

（对罗斯）谢谢！（对查理）没想到你选了这家餐厅！还记得那天晚上吗？

Charlie

Oh my God, I completely forgot! (they laugh) Oh my God! I can't believe they let us back in this place! (they laugh more, and Ross start laughing too).

天呐，我都忘了！（两人大笑）天呐，没想到他们还让我们来这儿！（两人笑得更厉害，罗斯也跟着笑）

Benjamin(to Ross): You weren't there!

（对罗斯）你当时不在！

Ross

No, but, it's, you know, it's just a funny image, you know, the two of you, in this restaurant, with... (laughs nervously)tzz-zzz, mmm.

是不在，但想想就觉得好笑，你们俩，在这家餐厅，当时...（紧张地笑）呃，嗯。

Charlie

Ross, why don't you tell Benji about your proposal, while I go to the ladies room?

罗斯，我去下洗手间，你跟本吉说说你的研究计划吧。

Benjamin

So, tell me about it.

好，跟我说说。

Ross

Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.

好的，我计划在彩绘沙漠进行挖掘工作。

Benjamin

M-m.

嗯。

Ross

See, there are still several areas that haven't been fully excavated.

那里还有好几片区域没被完全发掘过。

Benjamin

Break up with Charlie!

和查理分手吧！

Ross

What?

什么？

Benjamin

What?

怎么了？

Ross

Did you just say "break up with Charlie"?

你刚才说“和查理分手”？

Benjamin

Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it.

嗯，说了，现在就说。我确实说了，也没否认我说过。

Ross

Kind of inappropriate, don't you think?

你不觉得这么说很不合适吗？

Benjamin

I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.

抱歉，我太久没见她了！以前的感觉一下子全回来了！我才发现我好想她，所以你得和她分手。

Ross

Are you serious?

你认真的吗？

Benjamin

If you say yes then I'm serious, if you say no then I'm joking!

你说认真我就认真，你说开玩笑我就开玩笑！

Ross

No!

我觉得是开玩笑！

Benjamin

Joking it is!

那就当玩笑啦！

Phoebe

Hi! Sorry, I'm late.

嗨！抱歉我来晚了。

Monica

Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?

嘿，和迈克谈得怎么样？他同意你留下那幅画了吗？

Phoebe

No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!

没同意，他特别讨厌那幅画。但他允许我留着那盒头发！所以凡事要学会妥协。好消息是，格拉迪斯归你了！

Monica

Wow, what's the bad news!

哇，那坏消息是什么？

Rachel

Who's Gladys?

格拉迪斯是谁？

Phoebe

Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.

就是我做的那个艺术品啊，画框里探出个女人的那个。

Rachel

(sarcastic)Oh, and Monica gets to keep her? In her house? I am so jealous!

（讽刺）哦，莫尼卡把它放家里？我太羡慕了！

Phoebe

Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!

哦，我不知道你也想要！

Monica

Huh!

呵！

Rachel

Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...

我当然想要啊。但...你已经给莫尼卡了，所以...

Monica

You know, I would give her up, for you.

其实我可以让给你。

Rachel

No, I couldn't let you do that.

不行，我不能让你这么做。

Monica

But I want to.

我愿意让。

Rachel

But I don't want you to.

我不让你让。

Monica

But I insist!

我坚持！

Rachel

But I insist harder!

我更坚持！

Phoebe

Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!

好了好了，别争了！我们抛硬币决定，正面归瑞秋，反面归莫尼卡。（抛硬币）反面！莫尼卡，归你了！

Monica

No, that landed in your food!

不算，硬币掉你食物上了！

Rachel

(sarcastic) No, no, that's ok. You won fair and square. I'm so sad!

（讽刺）没事没事，你赢得光明正大。我太难过了！

Chandler

Hey Joe!

嘿，乔伊！

Joey

What's up?

怎么了？

Chandler

Bad news. I watched the tape and passed it along to my bosses and they weren't interested.

坏消息，我看了你的作品集，也给老板看了，但他们没兴趣。

Joey

(sounds disappointed) Oh.

（失望）哦。

Chandler

(Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.

（把作品集还给他）抱歉啊兄弟。

Joey

(looks at him suspiciously) But, ehm... you watched the tape?

（怀疑地看着他）你...你真看了？

Chandler

(sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!

（紧张）看了！我...我觉得挺好的！（乔伊还是怀疑地看着他）但我老板不喜欢，一群笨蛋！

Joey

(sounds confident) You didn't watch the tape.

（笃定）你根本没看。

Chandler

(looks surprised) What!? Of course I did!

（惊讶）什么！？我当然看了！

Joey

Look, it's one thing not to cast me, but to lie to me?

不让我演就算了，你居然还骗我？

Chandler

I'm not lying to you, I watched it!

我没骗你，我真看了！

Joey

Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)

你又说谎了！（瑞秋从房间出来，看着两人争执）

Chandler

I watched it!

我看了！

Joey

Keep going Pinocchio!

继续说啊，匹诺曹！

Chandler

(now yelling)(pretending to look shocked) I did!

（大喊，假装震惊）我真看了！

Joey

(yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)

（回喊）你没有！（转身走向自己房间）

Chandler

(following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)

（跟着他）我都说了我看了！（追到乔伊房间，乔伊甩门把他关在门外）

Rachel

Did you watch the tape?

你到底看没看？

Chandler

(In a sarcastic "of course not"!-tone) No!

（用讽刺的语气，潜台词是“当然没看”）没看！

Benjamin

The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?

评审委员会选出你们三位进入今天的终选。最终结果将取决于你们对我提问的回答。先从李博士开始。李博士，你认为古生物学界过度依赖林奈分类系统，你打算如何解决这个问题？

Dr. Li

Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.

我认为答案藏在骨骼学证据里，我打算从这里入手研究。

Benjamin

(nods) Interesting.

（点头）有意思。

Ross

(Rolls his eyes) I guess!

（翻白眼）也就那样吧！

Benjamin

Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?

比利博士，你的研究计划包含野外考察，打算去哪里开展？

Dr. Biely

Primarily in the Pierre Shale region of South Dakota.

主要在南达科他州的皮埃尔页岩区。

Benjamin

Certainly. Very well. And Dr. Geller, when is my birthday?

好的，不错。盖勒博士，我的生日是什么时候？

Ross

(shocked and confused by the question) What? I... I... (Benjamin looks at him as if to say "What's wrong? Answer the question")

（被问懵，震惊又困惑）什么？我...我...（本杰明看着他，眼神示意“怎么了？回答问题”）

Benjamin

Care to venture a guess?

猜一下？

Ross

(annoyed) May 12th?

（烦躁）5月12号？

Benjamin

(looks surprised and un-impressed) That's not even kinda close! (Ross looks around confused) Dr. Li, how many graduate students you'd be needing?

（惊讶又不屑）差太远了！（罗斯茫然地环顾四周）李博士，你需要多少名研究生协助？

Dr. Li

Half a dozen.

六名。

Benjamin

I see, and Dr. Biely?

好，比利博士呢？

Dr. Biely

Three for excavation and two for analysis.

三名负责挖掘，两名负责数据分析。

Benjamin

Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?

好。盖勒博士，谢丽斯乐队1965年的哪首热门单曲后来被一支知名的英伦入侵乐队翻唱过？

Ross

(even more shocked) Wha..? I need 6 graduate students.

（更震惊）什么...？我需要六名研究生。

Benjamin

No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.

不对！抱歉，正确答案是《Baby It's You》。

Ross

Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.

什么...？等一下，我的问题没有一个和古生物学有关！

Benjamin

You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur".

你说得对，抱歉。上一题不算，拼写单词“Boscodictiasaur”。

Ross

(annoyed) um... I've never heard of a "Boscodictiasaur".

（烦躁）嗯...我从没听过这个词。

Benjamin

Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.

我瞎编的，快拼。

Ross

(stares at him angrily) Ok. (determined to spell it correctly) B - O - S ...

（生气地盯着他）好。（努力想拼对）B-O-S...

Benjamin

No, it starts with a silent "M".

不对，开头有个不发音的M。

Ross

Oh come on!!

搞什么啊！！

Chandler

I can't believe Joey. I hate being called a liar!

真受不了乔伊，我讨厌被人说骗子！

Rachel

But you are a liar.

但你就是骗子啊。

Chandler

What did I just say?

我刚才说什么了？

(Joey comes out of his room)

（乔伊从房间出来）

Joey

You still here?

你还在啊？

Chandler

Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...

我还在，而且我不光难过，还觉得被羞辱了。我明明说了我做了...

Joey

Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.)(yelling) Stop lying!

打住打住...先听我说。首先，你说谎了，对吧？然后，你为了圆谎又说谎了，对吧？接着，你又为了圆刚才的谎再说谎，对吧？所以别再说谎圆谎圆谎圆谎...谎...（数不清了，对着空气数说谎次数，最后放弃）（大喊）别再说谎了！

Chandler

Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?

你怎么这么确定我没看作品集？

Joey

(very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)

（暴怒）你想知道...？你想知道原因？（走回房间）

Rachel

Well, this is going well. (Chandler looks worried)

聊得可真愉快。（钱德勒一脸担忧）

Joey

(comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)

（拿着作品集出来）我为什么知道？（把作品集放进录像机）你要是看了里面的内容，绝对不会一句话都不说。记住啊，我拍这个广告赚了一大笔钱，而且只在日本播出。（按下播放键，电视上开始播放广告）

Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)

Joey

(Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).

（对钱德勒大喊）这下知道我为什么确定你没看了吧！（走回房间，甩上门）

(Silence)

（沉默）

Chandler

He really is a chameleon.

他可真是个变色龙。

Phoebe

(smiling from ear to ear) Well, Gladys say hello to your new home! (she holds out the 'painting')

（笑得合不拢嘴）格拉迪斯，跟新家打个招呼吧！（举起画作）

Monica

(faking happiness) Oh, my!

（假装开心）天呐！

Rachel

(surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)

（被丑到震惊）哇！（讽刺）又大又好看！莫尼卡，你打算把格拉迪斯光荣地挂在哪儿啊？（四处张望找地方）

Monica

(sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!

（着急，知道瑞秋在故意找茬）我还没定好位置呢！

Rachel

Well, hey! How about right above the TV? (Points to the spot where her famous French poster is hanging). That way, it will be the first thing that you see when you walk in the door!

挂电视上方怎么样？（指着她那张有名的法国海报的位置）一进门就能看到，多显眼！

Phoebe

(genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.

（真心觉得好）对！把那张法国海报扔了就行。

Monica

(offended) I like that poster!

（生气）我喜欢那张海报！

Phoebe

Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?

是吗？那海报又没东西从里面伸出来。要不挂你卧室？

Rachel

(jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!

（赶紧附和）对！你床头上方空着呢！

Monica

(Impatient with Rachel) Are you still here?

（不耐烦）你怎么还在这儿？

Ross

Oh hi! Hello! Uh, have you come to ask me some more paleontology related questions? Uhm... your grandmother's nickname, perhaps? (Now yelling) Aunt Margaret's pants size?

嗨！你好！又来问古生物学相关的问题了？还是问你祖母的小名？（大喊）玛格丽特阿姨的裤子尺码？

Benjamin

I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.

我是来道歉的。我不该因为对查理的感情，影响了面试流程。

Ross

(Sarcastic) No! Stop!

（讽刺）别装了！

Benjamin

Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.

不管怎样，我决定把补助金给你。

Ross

(Skeptical) Really?

（怀疑）真的？

Benjamin

Well... there is just one small... stipulation...

不过...有个小小的条件...

Ross

I have to break up with Charlie?

要我和查理分手？

Benjamin

Hey, you got one right!

哟，答对了！

(Ross shakes his head)

（罗斯摇头）

Ross

You're crazy.

你疯了。

Benjamin

Crazy, or... romantic?

是疯了，还是...浪漫？

Ross

Crazy!

疯了！

Benjamin

Ooor...

还是...

Ross

(Yelling) Get out! (Benjamin leaves)

（大喊）出去！（本杰明离开）

(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)

（瑞秋走进来查邮件，抬头看到格拉迪斯被放在躺椅上。）

Rachel

O-oh my God!

哦我的天！

Joey

(enters from his bedroom) What?

（从卧室出来）怎么了？

Rachel

Joey, what... is... this...thing... doing here?

乔伊，这...东西...怎么在这儿？

Joey

I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.

莫尼卡卖给我的，价格很公道。

Rachel

Joey, we're not keeping this!

乔伊，我们不能留这个！

Joey

But it's an original Buffay...

这可是布费的原作...

Rachel

Alright, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.

行吧，你要留就留。只要你不怕它闹鬼就行。

Joey

Hey? what? what? wey! whoo! what? what!?

什么？闹鬼？哇！什么情况？

Rachel

Well, legend has it Joey, that... she comes alive when you're asleep.

传说啊乔伊，你睡着的时候，它就会活过来。

(Joey's eyes are twice their size now, and looks nervously from Rachel to Gladys and back.)

（乔伊眼睛瞪得溜圆，紧张地在瑞秋和格拉迪斯之间来回看。）

Rachel

She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.

它会爬出画框，拖着半截身子在地上爬，到处找腿偷。（阴森缓慢地说）然后用它唯一完好的手，慢...慢...地伸过来，拧你的门把手。

Joey

GET THAT LEGLESS WITCH OUT OF HERE!

把这个没腿的妖怪弄走！

(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)

（乔伊跑回卧室，瑞秋坏笑。她拿起格拉迪斯，走进莫尼卡的公寓。）

Monica

Hey! I sold that to Joey.

嘿！我卖给乔伊了。

Rachel

Well, why I told him it's haunted. Two can play at this game. (gives Gladys to Monica)

我骗他说闹鬼了，互相整呗。（把格拉迪斯递给莫尼卡）

Monica

No, too late. You can't give it back! (she pushes the painting back to Rachel)

不行，晚了，不能还给我！（把画推回给瑞秋）

Rachel

Yes I can! (pushes her back again)

我能！（又推回去）

Monica

No you can't. She's yours!

不能，是你的了！

Rachel

She's yours!

是你的！

Monica

SHE'S YOURS!

是你的！

Rachel

She's yours!

是你的！

(While they are both pushing the painting towards each other, Phoebe enters)

（两人互相推搡画作时，菲比走进来）

Phoebe

Hey! (there's a pause)

嘿！（三人沉默片刻）

Rachel

She's mine!

是我的！

Monica

She's m-i-i-ne!

是我——的！

Rachel

She's mine!

是我的！

Monica

She's mine!

是我的！

Rachel

She's mine!

是我的！

Phoebe

You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)

别争了！别争了！不用再抢格拉迪斯了。（走到走廊，抱着一幅更吓人的拼贴画走进来。画里是个无脸模特头，穿着蓝色裙子、戴着橙色手套，伸手探向房间，脑袋周围飘着三个小玩偶。）谁拿不到格拉迪斯，就拿格林尼斯。（瑞秋和莫尼卡看到这可怕的艺术品，倒吸一口凉气。）

Rachel

I want Gladys!

我要格拉迪斯！

Monica

She's mine!

是我的！

Rachel

She's mine!

是我的！

Monica

She's mine!

是我的！

Rachel

She's mine!

是我的！

Chandler

Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.

对不起，我没把你的作品集给老板。我保证，下次不管你适不适合，我都帮你递上去。

Joey

That's not the point Chandler. The point is that you lied.

重点不是这个钱德勒，重点是你说谎了。

Chandler

I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?

我知道，你说得对。要怎么做你才原谅我？

Monica

Oh my God!

天呐！

(we see Joey and Chandler standing there, and Chandler is wearing the blue Ichiban lipstick!)

（乔伊和钱德勒站在那儿，钱德勒嘴上涂着蓝色的“一级棒”男士唇膏！）

Rachel

Excellent!

太解气了！

Joey

Now, what do you say?

现在该说什么？

Chandler

Lying is wrong!

说谎是不对的！

Joey

And?... AND?

还有呢？

Chandler

I'm a pretty little girl.

我是个漂亮的小姑娘。

Phoebe

I knew it!

我就知道！

Ross

Your ex-boyfriend is insane.

你前男友简直疯了。

Charlie

Did you get the grant?

补助金拿到了吗？

Ross

No I didn't, and you want to know why? Because your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you.

没拿到，想知道为什么吗？因为你前男友还爱着你。

Charlie

What?

什么？

Ross

Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.

真的，他不给我补助金，就因为我不肯和你分手。

Charlie

Benji isn't in love with me. I mean, he broke up with me. And besides, he's a very ethical man.

本吉才不爱我，当初是他甩了我。而且他是个很正直的人。

Ross

Really? Is it ethical to ask someone in a grant review, who was the voice of "Underdog"?

正直？评审补助金的时候问人家《超能狗》的配音是谁，这叫正直？

Charlie

I'm sure he was just joking, Ross.

他肯定是开玩笑的，罗斯。

Ross

If you don't believe me, let's go talk to him, okay? I'm telling you, he didn't ask me one paleontological question.

你不信的话，我们去找他对质，我保证，他一个古生物学的问题都没问我。

Charlie

Seriously?

真的？

Ross

Oh, I'm sorry, no. He did ask me one. Uhm... How do you spell Mboscodictiosaur?

哦，不对，他问了一个。就是...怎么拼Mboscodictiosaur？

Charlie

Well, if it's like the lake Mbosco in Congo, then M-B-O...

要是和刚果的姆博斯科湖一样，那就是M-B-O...

Ross

Damnit!

可恶！

Benjamin

Dr. Geller...? Charlie... What are you... what are you doing here?

盖勒博士？查理？你们...怎么来了？

Ross

I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!

你把一切都告诉她，你跟我提的条件，那些离谱的问题...沃利·考克斯！他就是《超能狗》的配音！

Benjamin

Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.

罗斯，我面试时就跟你说过，补助金不是看你懂这些没用的冷知识。

Ross

No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.

别转移话题！你看着她的眼睛，把真相说出来。

Charlie

Benji?

本吉？

Benjamin

Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.

好吧，是真的。我做得很过分，但都是因为我还爱你。我愿意做任何事，让你回到我身边。

Ross

Too little, too late, Benji!

说得太晚了，本吉！

Charlie

I can't believe this.

我不敢相信。

Benjamin

I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?

我当初就不该和你分手，我一直都在想你。你...还会想我吗？

Ross

(indignant) No!

（气愤）不想！

Charlie

Yes!

想！

Ross

What?

什么？

Charlie

I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.

我不知道说什么，本吉。这一切太...浪漫了。

Ross

or...

浪漫个...

Benjamin

Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?

我知道我可能太过分了，但我们还有可能复合吗？

Charlie

Maybe...

或许吧...

Ross

Sweetie, this conversation is starting to make me a little uncomfortable.

亲爱的，这对话让我有点不舒服了。

Charlie

Oh God! I am so sorry, but... (she puts her hand on Ross's cheek) I mean it's... there's so much history between us, you know...

天呐，对不起，但是...（手放在罗斯脸上）我们之间有太多过往了，你懂的...

Benjamin

(puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...

（手放在罗斯另一边脸上）我也很抱歉...

(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)

（查理和本吉的手顺着罗斯的脸滑下，最后握在了一起。）

Benjamin

I love you!

我爱你！

Charlie

I love you too! (and they start to kiss)

我也爱你！（两人开始接吻）

Ross

Okay, that's it. WE ARE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE!

行了，够了。我们分手吧！

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告插播

(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)

（客厅传来抓挠和吱吱声，乔伊吓得惊醒，把被子往上拉，门把手开始转动。）

Joey

Gladys?

格拉迪斯？

(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)

（门开了，格拉迪斯还在画框里。乔伊吓得尖叫着乱躲，随后传来笑声，画被放低，原来是瑞秋举着画。）

Rachel

Ha ha ha, third time this week. Man, this does not get old.

哈哈哈，这周第三次了，太好玩了。

Joey

You're mean!

你太坏了！

Rachel

Oh, don't be such a baby!

别这么小气嘛！

(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)

（瑞秋关上门转身，突然吓得尖叫起来，格林尼斯出现在眼前，是莫尼卡举着画在笑。）

The End

剧终