The One Where Rachel's Other Sister Babysits

Rachel

You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.

我琢磨着该给爱玛吃第一块饼干了。

Joey

Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!

第一块？她常吃饼干。

Rachel

I've never given her a cookie. Have you?

我没喂过她饼干。你给她了？

Joey

No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!

没有！另外，我也没从罐子里拿糖霜给她。

Monica

Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.

瑞秋，领养中心要我们交一份推荐信，你愿意帮我们写一封吗？

Rachel

Of course, I'd be honored!

乐意效劳，我的荣幸！

Chandler

Thanks!

谢谢！

Monica

Thank you!

谢谢！

(Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)

（乔伊看着他们，对他们的决定感到失望）

Joey

U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.

怎、怎、怎么不找我？

Chandler

Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.

乔伊，我们本想找你，但又觉得你可能没兴趣。

Monica

Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".

是啊，我们觉得你可能不擅长跟文字打交道。

Joey

Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!

哼，别小看我！

Monica

Clearly we were wrong.

看样子我们错了。

Joey

I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.

对于你们二位，我有很多好话可写，而且我也非常清楚你们多想要个孩子，我很想帮你们。

Monica

You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.

好吧，乔伊，你来写。

Joey

Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."

Chandler

So excited about your letter!

迫不及待想看你写的推荐信。

(Phoebe enters)

（菲比走进来）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

All

Hey Phoebe!

嘿，菲比！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Wow! Don't you look nice?!

哇！你可真好看！

Phoebe

Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.

没错，是很美！今天迈克和我庆祝一周年。

Rachel

OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...

哦！啥的周年？第一次约会？第一次亲吻？第一次上床？

Phoebe

YEAH!

对！

Chandler

So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?

你们会去好地方隆重庆祝？

Phoebe

Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.

不，去看尼克斯队篮球比赛。

Joey

Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?

你好像穿得过于隆重？

Phoebe

Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.

我从未和哪个男人有过一周年，所以不管去哪里庆祝，我一定要盛装打扮，戴上最好的珠宝，还要在公共洗手间亲热。

Monica

You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!

你们真这么做？钱德连在我家洗手间亲热都不肯！

Chandler

That's where people make number two!!

洗手间是上厕所的地方！

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Charlie

Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)

嘿！（两人亲吻并依偎了一下）

Ross

Hey...

嘿……

Charlie

So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...

你知道，我现在有点时间，如果你……想的话……

Ross

(surprised) Oh... (he pauses)(sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.

（惊讶）哦……（停顿，语气失望）唉……我很想，但我真的得批改这些试卷。

Charlie

Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself...

没事，没事……（小声说）那我就自己去洗澡好了……

Ross

(Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!

（批改试卷）B，B，B，B，B！

Charlie

Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.

罗斯，你给陶器工坊的产品目录也打了个B。

Ross

Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.

那目录里有些不错的点子，把衣服脱了。

(they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)

（两人开始亲吻，这时有人敲门）

Ross

Damnit!

该死！

Amy

(yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!

（在门外大喊）瑞秋！开门！是你妹妹！（又敲了敲门）我有话跟你说！

Ross

(he opens the door) Hi Amy!

（打开门）嗨，艾米！

Amy

You're not Rachel.

你不是瑞秋。

Ross

Still sharp as a tack!

还是这么牙尖嘴利！

Amy

Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.

查理，这是瑞秋的妹妹艾米。艾米，这是查理。

Charlie

Hi!

嗨！

Amy

Hi!

嗨！

Charlie

Nice to meet you.

很高兴认识你。

Amy

H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...?

嗨～（看向罗斯）那你是……？

Ross

(pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!

（停顿）罗斯？我……我以前跟你们住一个街区，去年我们一起过感恩节，我还和你姐姐生了个孩子！

Amy

(looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?

（一脸困惑）不……呃……我昨天是不是从你这儿买过炸豆丸？

Ross

(gives up) Yes, yes, you did.

（放弃解释）对，没错，你买过。

(Ross enters the apartment with Amy)

（罗斯带着艾米走进公寓）

Ross

Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!

嗨，瑞秋！你妹妹艾米来了！她觉得我该做胸肌整形！

Rachel

Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?

艾米！嗨！哇！（两人拥抱）你还记得乔伊吧？

Amy

Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!

当然！《我们的日子》里的那个演员嘛！

Joey

That's right, yeah.

没错。

Amy

You're not good!

你演得真不怎么样！

Joey

Always nice to meet a fan!

见到影迷总是很开心！

Rachel

So now, what are you doing here?

你来这儿干嘛？

Amy

Well, I have huge news.

我有个大新闻。

Rachel

(Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!

（爱玛在另一个房间哭了）抱歉，等一下，我去看看孩子！

Amy

Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)

等等，这事很重要！艾拉不能等会儿吗？（瑞秋去看爱玛）

Ross

Ehm... Her name is Emma.

呃……她叫爱玛。

Amy

Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!

干嘛改名呀？艾拉好听多了！

Ross

What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!

我哪晓得，我就是个推小车卖中东小吃的！

Amy

Hey, your English is getting better!!

嘿，你英文有长进嘛！

Ross

(to Joey) Oh my God!

（对乔伊说）我的天！

Joey

I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.

可不是嘛，她可能是我讨厌过的最辣的女孩。

Ross

What... what you working on?

你在忙啥？

Joey

(using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...

（用笔记本电脑）给莫妮卡和钱德写推荐信呢。我想写得显聪明点，但……我又不会啥深奥的词。

Ross

Why don't you use your Thesaurus?

那你用同义词典啊。

Joey

What did I just say?

啥玩意儿？

Ross

Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.

看着。（拿过笔记本电脑）你选中想改的词，在工具里找到同义词典，它会……给出……一长串备选词，你挑个听着最聪明的就行。

Joey

Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!

天呐，太棒了！我变聪明了！不，我是……（用同义词典）聪慧、机灵、伶俐，我爱这玩意儿！姑娘们注意了，乔伊·崔比安尼文武双全啦！

Rachel

God!

天呐！

Amy

So beautiful.

真好看。

Rachel

Oh, I know, isn't she?

是吧，超可爱对不对？

Amy

No, I was talking about your bedding.

不是，我说的是你的床单。

Rachel

All right. What's your news, Amy?

行吧。艾米，你到底有啥新闻？

Amy

Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married.

哦！嗯……我要结婚了。

Rachel

What? Oh my God! To who?

什么？天呐！跟谁？

Amy

This guy! He has a killer apartment.

一个男人！他的公寓超棒。

Rachel

A-And??

然后呢？

Amy

A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.

在第五大道，电梯一开门就是客厅。

Rachel

No, what's he like?

不是，他人怎么样？

Amy

Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?

还行。你还记得我以前的男朋友马克吗？

Rachel

Yeah.

记得。

Amy

It's his dad.

我要嫁他爸爸。

Rachel

Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...

哇，那他年纪肯定不小了吧……

Amy

Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.

老？对！但他经常出差，基本不在家。

Rachel

Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...

宝贝，说实话……你好像更喜欢他的公寓，而不是他这个人。

Amy

Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old!

迈伦。我都说了他年纪大了嘛！

Rachel

Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry?

坐，快坐下。宝贝，我以前也差点嫁给一个我不爱的人，你记得巴里吗？

Amy

Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.

哼，怎么不记得？你睡着后，我们俩总偷偷亲热。

Rachel

Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!

有时候点头回应就够了。（停顿）总之，听我说，没嫁给巴里是我这辈子做过最正确的决定。宝贝，你值得拥有真爱，你的灵魂伴侣就在某个地方，是个和你同龄、聪明有趣、你真心喜欢的人。

Amy

(thinks about it) You're right, you're right! I'm gonna do it!

（想了想）你说得对！我决定了！

Rachel

Ok.

好。

Amy

I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.

我要嫁给迈伦，同时继续找我的真命天子。

Rachel

Ok, let's keep talking.

行，咱们接着聊。

Phoebe

Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they're in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can't believe it's been a whole year!

借过，过周年纪念日。借过，过周年纪念日。（看了眼门票）先生，能把你的玉米片挪一下吗？占我座位了，我们过周年纪念日。（对迈克说）到啦！（迈克点头）真不敢相信都一年了！

Mike

I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!

是啊，这一年超美好……（观众开始欢呼，他大喊）这是我这辈子最棒的一年！

Phoebe

ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!

我也是！我从没想过会这么爱一个人！

Mike

I FEEL THE SAME WAY!

我也一样！

Phoebe

YOU'RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.)(to everybody) IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY!

你又大方又善良，而且（观众欢呼声停）床上功夫超厉害！（所有人都听到了，盯着他们看）我们过周年纪念日呢！

Announcer

Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there's written 'Julie, will you marry me?' and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)

尼克斯队的球迷们，请看记分牌上的大屏幕，有人要问一个特别的问题。（屏幕上显示“朱莉，你愿意嫁给我吗？”，接着播放一个男生跪在女生面前，拿出戒指求婚的画面）

Phoebe

Oh how lame... oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal.

好老套……又俗气又没诚意。

Mike

Really?

是吗？

Phoebe

Oh, it's the worst way to propose!

这是最糟糕的求婚方式！

Mike

(looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).

（震惊地看着她）失陪一下……（他走开了，菲比才意识到自己说错话了）

Joey

Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.

嘿，推荐信写完了。（递给钱德）给你们。你们肯定会超满意的。这是我用电脑最久没看色情网站的一次。

Chandler

(reading) I don't... uh... understand.

（读信）我……呃……看不懂。

Joey

(sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?

（一脸得意）是不是有些词太高级，你看不懂？

Monica

(also reading it) It doesn't make any sense.

（也在读信）这根本不通顺。

Joey

Of course it does! It's smart! I used the the-saurus!

怎么会！写得可高级了，我用了同义词典！

Chandler

On every word?

每个词都换了？

Joey

Yep!

对！

Monica

Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)

好吧，这句话原本写的是什么？（把句子指给乔伊看）

Joey

Oh, 'They are warm, nice, people with big hearts'.

哦，原本是“他们是热心善良、心胸宽广的人”。

Chandler

And that became 'they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?

结果变成了“他们是温润迷人、拥有标准心脏的智人”？

Joey

Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.

对，没错，我真心这么觉得。

Monica

Hey Joey, I don't think we can use this.

乔伊，这封信我们用不了。

Joey

Why not?

为什么？

Monica

Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what's-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!

因为你的签名是“袋鼠宝宝·崔比安尼”。（乔伊一脸“这有什么问题”的表情）别想着装聪明了，做你自己就好！

Chandler

You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.

没错，不用同义词典，用心写就好，（指着自己的心）用你那颗标准的心脏。

Rachel

Amy, hi!

艾米，嗨！

Amy

I took your advice, I left Myron.

我听了你的话，跟迈伦分手了。

Rachel

Oh, good for you!

哇，真棒！

Amy

I know! I'm Erin Brockovich!

可不是嘛！我就是《永不妥协》里的女主！

Rachel

Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!

没错！我真为你骄傲！

Amy

Thank you! So, can I stay with you?

谢谢！我能住你这儿吗？

Rachel

But Erin Brockovich had her own house.

但《永不妥协》的女主有自己的房子啊。

(Joey comes out of Monica's apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)

（乔伊从莫妮卡公寓出来，看到瑞秋和艾米，没注意到一大堆行李）

Joey

Ah, look who's back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?

哟，这不是艾米嘛！（看到行李）你怎么带行李了？瑞秋，她怎么带行李了？

Amy

Well, I'm staying with you guys!

我要跟你们一起住！

Joey

What?

什么？

Amy

We're gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!

我们当室友啦！（打了个响指指了指乔伊，又打了个响指指行李）快帮我拿！

Joey

You slept out here?

你睡客厅了？

Rachel

Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!'

是啊……艾米睡觉一直踢我，还喊“迈伦，别压我！”

Joey

But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her.

我们得把她送走，对吧？瑞秋，快说我们要把她送走。

Rachel

Joey, I can't do that!

乔伊，我不能这么做！

Joey

Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don't need that kind of talk in my house!

拜托！昨晚我吃披萨，她就说（拙劣模仿艾米）“嘴上一时爽，屁股胖一生！”我家不许说这种话！

Rachel

Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here.

乔伊，我知道她难相处，但她来这儿也挺好的。

Joey

'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone?

是不是等她走了，我们才会更开心？

Rachel

No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.

不是，你想啊，我刚来城里的时候跟她很像！被宠坏、自私自利，是你们一直照顾我。

Joey

Yeah, Monica made us!

是啊，都是莫妮卡逼我们的！

Rachel

Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok.

不管怎样，我都很感激你们。没有你们，就没有现在的我。我想像你们帮我那样帮帮艾米，我知道这需要耐心，没关系。

Amy

Good morning.

早上好。

Joey

Yeaah.

嗯。

Rachel

Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door.

艾米，那是我今天要穿的衣服，我才挂在门上的。

Amy

Oh, sweety, you can't pull this off.

宝贝，你穿不好看。

Rachel

Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.

艾米，要不我们坐下来好好聊聊你的未来吧。

Amy

Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?

不行呀，我要去修眉，这眉毛太丑了。（对拿着披萨盒的乔伊说）你真要吃这个？

Joey

(yelling at her) I'M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!

（大喊）我就喜欢自己有点肉！

Phoebe

Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.

嗨。我过了史上最糟的周年纪念日。

Chandler

I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.

不可能！跟她说说我们去年的纪念日。

Monica

Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.

我给你买了块五百美元的手表，他给我写了首说唱。

Ross

Seriously?

真的？

Chandler

Word!

可不是嘛！

Phoebe

Well, mine was worse than that.

我的比你们还糟。

Rachel

Well, what happened?

怎么了？

Phoebe

We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...

我们看比赛时，有个男生在大屏幕上跟女友求婚……

Rachel

Oh, that is so tacky.

好俗气。

Phoebe

Well, that's what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!

我也是这么说的，结果迈克昨晚本来也想用这种方式跟我求婚！

Monica

Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?

天呐，迈克要求婚？

Rachel

Phoebe, that's huge!

菲比，这可是大事！

Ross

Well, do you wanna marry him?

你想嫁给他吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!

当然想！但我吐槽了他的求婚方式，他肯定不会再提了！我在巴巴多斯拒绝过他一次，现在又这样！

Chandler

She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?

她说得对！如果我是个男人……（话说到一半停下，所有人盯着他）我刚才是不是说“如果我是个男人”？

Monica

Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!

你不一定非要等他求婚，你可以跟他求婚啊！

Phoebe

Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?

我不知道，会不会显得太急切了？

Monica

I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...

我就跟钱德求过婚！（菲比忍住没笑）行了，换个话题……

Chandler

Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!

一点都不急切，超棒的！

Monica

Thank you.

谢谢。

Phoebe

(To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?

（问瑞秋和罗斯）你们觉得我该求婚吗？

Rachel

I think it could be kind of great!

我觉得会很棒！

Ross

Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!

必须的！你会喜欢那种感觉的，无与伦比！

Phoebe

Ok, ok, so how should I do it?

好，那我该怎么求？

Monica

How about at a game, on the big screen?

在球赛的大屏幕上求婚怎么样？

Rachel

(Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)

（讽刺）哇！在运动用品店求婚怎么样？（假装兴奋地拍手）

Monica

What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!

怎么了？他明显觉得这种求婚方式很好，而且他肯定想不到！

Phoebe

Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?

有道理。那你们俩（指罗斯和钱德）觉得这种方式好吗？

Chandler

Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?

我觉得不错……但男生会怎么想？

(Amy walks in carrying a phone handset)

（艾米拿着电话听筒走进来）

Amy

(To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)

（对瑞秋说）奶奶打电话找你。（把电话递给瑞秋）

Rachel

(Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!

（接过电话）有意思，她七年前就去世了！

Amy

She did? Who got her condo in Boca?

是吗？那她在博卡的公寓归谁了？

Rachel

(Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up)(To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?

（对着电话）喂？（对艾米说）是我们的保姆茉莉。（继续打电话）嗨！天呐，祝你早日康复！好，再见！（挂电话，对罗斯说）茉莉生病了，你今天能帮我照看爱玛吗？

Ross

No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?

不行，我有连堂课。茉莉说她得什么病了吗？我喉咙也疼。

Rachel

Menstrual cramps.

痛经。

Ross

I don't think that's what this is.

我觉得我不是这个毛病。

Rachel

(To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?

（问莫妮卡、钱德、菲比）你们谁能帮我照看爱玛？

Monica

No, sorry sweety..

抱歉，不行。

Phoebe

No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..

不行，我要上班，然后要求婚。

Rachel

(To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?

（对罗斯）完了，怎么办？

Amy

Well, I can do it.

我可以帮忙。

Rachel

(Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...

（想了一会儿）其实……

Ross

(He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?

（立刻打断她，拉着她的胳膊走到房间另一边）我跟你说句话。

Rachel

Yeah.

好。

Ross

Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.

我不想让她照看我们的孩子。

Rachel

Why not?

为什么？

Ross

Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella!

首先，她总把孩子叫成艾拉！

Rachel

(Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!

（为艾米辩解）艾拉这名字也很好听啊！

Ross

Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.

行，那我们下一个孩子叫艾拉。

Rachel

(Shocked) Wha... the next one?

（震惊）下一个？

Ross

(a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.

（有点懵）反正我不想让她看孩子。

Rachel

Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!

罗斯，我想帮她变好，这对她来说是很大的进步！她主动提出帮别人做事了！

Ross

I... I don't know..

我……不知道。

Rachel

Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?

她都放弃修眉来帮我们了，你知道这对女生来说有多重要吗？

(Amy approaches from behind)

（艾米从后面走过来）

Amy

um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)

我不小心听到了……我真的想帮你们，瑞秋一直对我很好……（恳求地看着他们）

(Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)

（瑞秋看向罗斯，默默点头同意）

Rachel

Absolutely.

当然可以。

Amy

(very excited) Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? (Ross just gives up and leaves)

（兴奋）太好了！工资多少？（罗斯无奈地走开）

Chandler

Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?

嘿，乔伊！推荐信二稿写得怎么样了？

Joey

Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.

写完了，我刚送到领养中心了。

(Chandler and Monica look shocked)

（钱德和莫妮卡一脸震惊）

Monica

You dropped it off?

你送过去了？

Joey

Yeah.

对啊。

Chandler

Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?

我们能看看吗？再打印一份出来？

Joey

No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)

不行哦，我没用电-脑写，手写的更有诚意。（钱德和莫妮卡更震惊了）

Monica

You hand-wrote it?

你手写的？

Joey

Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)

对，别担心，我这次没装聪明！回头见！（离开）

Monica

Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!

天呐，那封信会放进我们的档案里！我们肯定领养不到孩子了，以后只能成一对养兰花、喂小鸟的老夫妻了！

Chandler

It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)

没事没事，我打电话给领养中心，让他们把信扔掉。（开始拨号）

Monica

Okay good.

好。

Chandler

(on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).

（打电话）喂，我是钱德·宾，有人刚送了一封手写的推荐信……（听对方说话）嗯……嗯……好，谢谢，再见。（挂电话，一脸困惑）

Monica

Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.

完了，我们没戏了吧？去鸟店的路上再跟我说吧。

Chandler

(Still looks confused) They loved it.

（依旧困惑）他们很喜欢那封信。

Monica

What?

什么？

Chandler

They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.

他们觉得我们很聪明，居然让孩子写推荐信。

Monica

(surprised) They thought Joey was a child?

（惊讶）他们以为乔伊是小孩？

Chandler

She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.

看了他画的画，猜他八九岁。

(Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)

（艾米推着婴儿车，带着爱玛走进来）

Amy

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Hey, what did you guys do today?

你们今天干嘛了？

Amy

Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.

艾拉想出门，我们就去逛街买了寿司。

Chandler

That sounds like fun.

听起来挺有意思。

Amy

Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.

其实还好，宝宝好无聊。

(Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma)

（瑞秋走进来，看到艾米和爱玛）

Rachel

(To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?

（对爱玛）宝贝！我的小可爱怎么样？

Amy

I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?

我很好！谢谢你收留我，给你带了礼物，准备好了吗？

Rachel

(sounds excited) Yeah!

（兴奋）好！

(Amy takes off Emma's hat)

（艾米摘掉爱玛的帽子）

Amy

Ta-daaa!

当当！

(Rachel looks at Emma)

（瑞秋看向爱玛）

Rachel

(not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!?

（瞬间没了兴致）你给她穿耳洞了？

Amy

(Very excited about it) Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?

（一脸得意）是不是显得她鼻子小一点？

(Rachel looks very shocked)

（瑞秋震惊不已）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告插播

Rachel

You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?

你给她穿耳洞了？怎么不跟我说一声？

Amy

Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?

跟你说就不是惊喜了呀！

Chandler

I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!

挺可爱的啊。（瑞秋生气地瞪他）……我错了！

Rachel

Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.

天呐，罗斯来了，他肯定要疯了。

Amy

Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?

怎么了？他的炸豆丸推车坏了？

Rachel

Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)

唉。（拿起帽子盖住爱玛的头和半张脸）

(Ross enters)

（罗斯走进来）

Ross

Hey guys.

嘿，大家好。

Monica and Chandler

Hi Ross.

嗨，罗斯。

Ross

Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).

嘿，爱玛。帽子戴这么低干嘛？都看不见路了。（想摘掉帽子，瑞秋阻止他）

Rachel

Nah, I don't really want her to see.

别摘，我不想让她看。

Ross

Why not?

为什么？

Monica

Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.

世界上有太多可怕的东西了。

Chandler

Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?

比如战争，还有乔伊冰箱里那玩意儿，记得吗？装在牛奶盒里，看着像肉。

Ross

Come here (Removes Emma's hat) Oh! There she is! Hi!

过来。（摘掉爱玛的帽子）哇！小可爱！

(Rachel looks worried)

（瑞秋一脸担忧）

Ross

(sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?

（看到莫妮卡、钱德、瑞秋奇怪的表情）怎么了？

Rachel

Nothing.

没什么。

Ross

(Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.

（看向爱玛）嗨！（凑近看，把婴儿车拉近，一脸困惑，终于发现不对，倒吸一口气）告诉我那是耳夹。

Rachel

Oh, they're real!

是真的耳洞！

Ross

Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!

是她（指艾米）干的？我就说不能把爱玛交给她！

Rachel

I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!

我知道，你说得对。（对艾米说）你太不负责任了，以后再也不让你带孩子了！

Amy

Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!

她需要我！她需要一个又酷又有趣的阿姨！

Monica

I'm a cool, fun aunt!

我就是又酷又有趣的阿姨！

Amy

(Sarcastically) O-Okay!

（讽刺）是吗！

Chandler

Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!

莫妮卡在室内活动里又酷又有趣！

Rachel

I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?

我不敢相信，我只是想帮你规划人生，你却这么对我？

Amy

Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.

我不需要你帮，我已经想好要做什么了。

Rachel

Oh yeah? Since when?

是吗？什么时候想好的？

Amy

Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.

今天，我要当婴儿造型师。

Rachel

(looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?

（看向罗斯，又看向艾米，一脸难以置信）什么？

Ross

That's not a thing!

根本没这职业！

Amy

Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming...

应该有！我要教宝宝怎么搭配饰品、选颜色、穿显瘦的衣服。

Rachel

(shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.

（大喊）宝宝才不在乎瘦不瘦！

Amy

Enter Amy!

有我呢！

Ross

(very angry) Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna...

（暴怒）艾米，我……我真想……

Amy

What? What are you gonna do?

你想干嘛？

Ross

(pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!

（指着艾米大喊）再也不给你买炸豆丸了！

(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)

（艾米生气地看着罗斯，瑞秋没听懂，看向罗斯，罗斯示意稍后解释）

Mike

Great game, huh?

比赛真精彩，对吧？

Phoebe

Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)

嗯……嗯……（走神）

Mike

Why do you keep looking at the screen?

你怎么老看大屏幕？

Phoebe

I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?

没有，我在祈祷。（抬头）保佑尼克斯赢……谢谢雷神！（迈克站起来）你去哪儿？

Mike

Going go to the bathroom.

去洗手间。

Phoebe

Well, I think you should wait.

等等再去。

Mike

Why?

为什么？

Phoebe

Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.

不憋着，吸收不到所有营养。

Announcer

Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.

尼克斯队的球迷们，请看记分牌上的大屏幕，有人要问一个特别的问题。

(We see the screen where it says: "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)

（屏幕上显示“迈克，你愿意娶我吗？”，画面出现菲比和迈克，菲比站起来，跪在迈克面前）

Phoebe

Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)

迈克·汉尼根，你愿意娶我吗？（迈克一脸茫然）

Announcer

Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)

看看，女生向男生求婚，看来家里谁做主一目了然了。（观众大笑，迈克依旧茫然）

Phoebe

That's not very enlightened!

太老土了！

(There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)

（周围人起哄，迈克缩在椅子里，用手挡住脸，怕被人认出来）

Phoebe

Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!

（大喊）嘘我们？你们才差劲！

Joey

(picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up)(to himself) She was nice!

（接电话）喂，我是乔伊·崔比安尼……哦，嗨！你喜欢我的信就好……我爸妈不在家……（一脸疑惑）好，拜拜。（挂电话，自言自语）人真好！

(Rachel and Amy enter)

（瑞秋和艾米走进来）

Rachel

Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!

乔伊，把艾米的行李拿出来，她要搬走了！

Joey

Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)

太棒了！（去瑞秋房间拿行李）

Amy

You're kicking me out?

你要赶我走？

Rachel

You put holes in my baby's ears!

你给我女儿穿耳洞了！

Amy

Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!

至少现在别人知道她是女孩了！

Rachel

(gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.

（震惊）我居然想帮你，你真是无可救药。

Amy

You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative.

我来之后，你一直对我很挑剔。

Rachel

Excuse me?

你说什么？

Amy

You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?

你不让我嫁有好公寓的老头，我帮你女儿掩盖缺点（指着自己的鼻子），反而成坏人了？

Rachel

(yelling) Joey, where are those bags?

（大喊）乔伊，行李呢？

Joey

(Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!

（从瑞秋房间大喊）她东西太多了！

Amy

You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...

我搬来时还觉得姐妹团聚多好，像小时候一样，就是少了吉尔……她还变胖了。

Rachel

(doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously?

（难以置信）真的？

Amy

hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds.

妈妈说她胖了十五磅。

Rachel

Hips or thighs?

胖在胯还是大腿？

Amy

Ass and face.

屁股和脸。

Rachel

(gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.

天呐！她不是在吃阿特金斯减肥法吗？

Amy

She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.

是啊，碳水还是找上她了。这才是姐妹该聊的话题。

Rachel

(embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.

（尴尬）好吧，确实是。

Amy

You can?

真的？

Rachel

Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.

我总想让你变好，但你……你现在这样就挺好。

Amy

(touched) Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.

（感动）谢谢。说实话，爱玛戴耳钉挺可爱的。

Rachel

Did you just say Emma?

你刚才叫她爱玛了？

Amy

Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella.

抱歉，艾拉。

Phoebe

That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.

解说员乱说，你超有勇气。

Mike

But please, let's just forget the whole thing.

别提这事了。

Phoebe

(the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.

（服务员端来蛋糕）好，不提了。不管你什么时候、用什么方式求婚，我都会答应，不管是篮球赛、空中写字，还是像烂电影里那样藏在蛋糕里。

(Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)

（迈克的表情从开心变失落，失望地看着蛋糕）

Phoebe

It's in the cake, isn't it?

戒指在蛋糕里，对不对？

Mike

(puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)

（假笑）不然没勇气的我还能藏哪儿？（从蛋糕里拿出戒指，用餐巾纸擦干净）

Phoebe

What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

我怎么总搞砸，对不起！

Mike

No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

是我的错，总用蠢办法求婚，我只是想告诉你我爱你，想和你共度余生。

(Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)

（菲比一脸紧张焦虑）

Mike

I'm gonna do this now.

我现在求婚。

Phoebe

Oh my God!

天呐！

(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)

（迈克跪在菲比面前）

Mike

Phoebe, I...

菲比，我……

Phoebe

Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)

等等！（摘掉左手无名指的戒指，迈克再次跪下）不对！（摘掉所有手指和拇指上的戒指）

Mike

Ready?

好了吗？

Phoebe

Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)

好了！（迈克正式跪下）

Mike

Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?

菲比，我爱你。我这辈子只想娶你，哪怕求三次婚。我想照顾你，和你生儿育女、白头偕老。菲比·布菲，你愿意嫁给我吗？

Phoebe

Yes!

我愿意！

(Mike puts the ring on her finger)

（迈克给她戴上戒指）

Mike

I love you!

我爱你！

Phoebe

I love you more!

我更爱你！

Mike

Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.

不可能！（两人亲吻，迈克得意地说）你以后就是没勇气夫人了。

(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)

（两人再次亲吻，菲比看着戒指）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告插播

Rachel

So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?

你的婴儿造型师事业怎么样了？

Amy

Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.

不太好，没人愿意听自己宝宝丑。

Rachel

That's shocking!

真意外！

Amy

Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!

那不是罗斯吗？嘿，罗斯！（对着卖炸豆丸的人打招呼，那人只有黑发和罗斯像）罗斯！（对瑞秋说）真没礼貌！

THE END

剧终