The One With Ross's Tan

Chandler

So, you and Rachel tonight, huh?

所以，你今晚和瑞秋有约，是吧？

Joey

Yeah. It's actually our first official date

对，这其实是我们第一次正式约会。

Chandler

Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous?

哇！那今晚可能就是关键之夜了！你紧张吗？

Joey

Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.

才不，这可是我最擅长的环节。

Chandler

What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.

不用被恐惧和自我厌恶搞得手足无措，这感觉一定很棒吧。

Joey

(pause) It's OK!

（停顿）还行吧！

Chandler

How can you be so confident?

你怎么能这么自信？

Joey

Well, I... I know exactly what I'm gonna do!

嗯，我……我很清楚自己要做什么！

Chandler

Really? Like you have a routine?

真的？难道你有固定流程？

Joey

No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.

不，不不不不。你看，每个女人都不一样，你得欣赏她们的独特之处。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Joey

No, I do six things! First, I look deep in her eyes. Then, I kiss her. Next I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.

假的，我就六步走！第一步，深情凝望她的眼睛；第二步，吻她；第三步，伸手轻轻拂过她的大腿。

Chandler

You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way)

你是说这样？（他用滑稽又别扭的方式摸自己的大腿）

Joey

NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this. (He starts lightly grazing Chandler's thigh)

不对！不是那样，不不，是这样。（他轻轻拂过钱德勒的大腿）

Chandler

Oh, I see what you mean, that's quite nice. (They look at each other, both embarassed)

哦，我明白了，这样感觉还挺不错。（两人对视，都有些尴尬）

Joey

More foosball?

再来一局桌上足球？

Chandler

...and beer!!

……再配啤酒！！

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Monica

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Ross and Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

(to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)

（对钱德勒）嘿，亲爱的！（两人亲吻）

Ross

(looking at Monica's legs) WOW!

（看着莫妮卡的腿）哇！

Chandler

Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!

嘿！别盯着我老婆的腿看！不对！别盯着你妹妹的腿看！

Ross

I'm sorry, it's just... how did you get so tan?

抱歉，我就是好奇……你怎么晒得这么匀称？

Chandler

She went on one of those spray-on tan places.

她去了那种喷雾美黑店。

Ross

Eh, you got a spray-on tan?

哦，你做了喷雾美黑？

Monica

Chandler gets pedicures!

钱德勒还做足部护理呢！

Ross

(laughing) Why, why you do, like with the-the toe separators?

（笑着说）为啥呀，还用那种脚趾分隔器吗？

Chandler

(To Monica) Why...why?

（对莫妮卡）你……你干嘛说这个？

Ross

Still, I can't believe that's sprayed on... I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one!

说真的，真不敢相信这是喷出来的……效果也太好了。我也想去试试！

Chandler

Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.

行啊，那你再穿条超短裙，好好秀一秀。

Ross

So, do you get colours or just French tips?

那你是涂了彩色甲油，还是只做了法式美甲？

Monica

There. Here's their card.

给，这是那家店的名片。

Ross

Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)

谢啦。（接过名片）哎，我知道这家店在哪！以前这儿是家成人录像……（意识到说错话，停顿了一下）花店。（离开）

(Phoebe enters)

（菲比走进来）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Hey Pheebs!

嘿，菲比！

Monica

Hey Phoebe!

嘿，菲比！

Phoebe

Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.

你们绝对想不到谁搬回城里了。

Monica

I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!

我知道，阿曼达！啊！她也给我打电话了！她最讨厌了！

Chandler

Who's Amanda?

阿曼达是谁？

Monica

She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"

她在你搬来之前住在这栋楼里，后来搬去英国了，还学了一口假兮兮的英国腔。她在我答录机上留的言是这样的。（模仿阿曼达，用蹩脚的英国腔）“莫妮卡，亲爱的！是阿曼达给你打电话呢！”

Chandler

Are you trying to do a British accent?

你这是在模仿英国腔吗？

Monica

(pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!

（停顿，转向菲比）钱德勒还做足部护理呢！

Chandler

Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?

我就想问问，我还得被你这么调侃多少次？

Phoebe

You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"

你们知道阿曼达打电话跟我说什么吗？（模仿阿曼达的英国腔）“哦，真不好意思，打扰到你的手~机了！”要是……要是你不想被我打手机打扰，那就别打我手机啊！

Monica

I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.

可不是嘛，她还总吹嘘自己认识好多名人。

Phoebe

Oh, I know! "Oh...I slept with Billy Joel". All right, who hasn't?

对啊！“哦……我和比利·乔尔上过床呢”。拜托，谁还没跟名人好过啊？

Monica

Oh, what are we gonna do! I don't wanna see her!!

唉，我们该怎么办啊！我不想见她！！

Phoebe

Ugh, Let's just cut her out!

哼，咱们直接跟她断交算了！

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!

把她从我们的生活里剔除！不接她电话，躲着她，直到她明白为止！

Monica

Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?

唉，我们可以试试，但……这也太绝情了吧！（对钱德勒）你这么对过人吗？

Chandler

No, had it done to me though. Feels good !

没有，倒是被人这么对过，感觉还挺爽！

Assistant

Alright Mr. Geller! Right this way! So, how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three.

好了，盖勒先生！这边请！您想要什么色号？我们有1号、2号和3号。

Ross

Well... I like how you look, what are you?

嗯……我觉得你这个肤色不错，你是几号？

Assistant

Puerto Rican.

我是波多黎各人。

Ross

Two, I think a two.

那我选2号吧。

Assistant

You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?

您要面朝红灯站好。红灯亮就说明要开始喷雾了，记得闭上眼睛。喷雾停了之后，数5个数，拍一拍身上防止留下水渍，然后转身，我们给您喷后背。明白了吗？

Ross

Spray, count, pat, then turn, spray, count and pat.

喷雾、数数、拍一拍、转身、再喷雾、数数、拍一拍。

Assistant

Wow, you catch on quick.

哇，学得真快。

Ross

Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement)

毕竟我有博士学位嘛。（助理走出房间，对此毫无波澜）

(Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)

（罗斯脱下浴袍，走进美黑舱，站在红灯前，喷雾器启动，喷在了他的脸和躯干上）

Ross

One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)

1，2，3……（喷雾器再次启动，又喷了他的脸和躯干）等等！等等！我还没数完呢！！（走出美黑舱，助理走进房间）

Ross

You sprayed my front twice!

你把我正面喷了两次！

Assistant

You've never turned?

你没转身吗？

Ross

No, I barely even got to three Mississippi.

没有，我才数到3啊。

Assistant

Mississippi? I said count to five'!

数到3？我让你数到5！

Ross

Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?

数到5？（停顿）那现在情况有多糟？

Assistant

Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.

现在还好，但接下来四个小时肤色会越来越深。

Ross

So, how dark is it gonna get?

那会深到什么程度？

Assistant

You got sprayed with two two' s and...

你被喷了两次2号，而且……

Ross

I'm a four?

我变成4号了？

Assistant

Yeah, but you're back's a zero. You're gonna wanna even that out.

对，但你后背还是原色，得把前后肤色弄均匀才行。

Ross

(sarcastically) Really!

（讽刺地）可不是嘛！

Assistant

You might wanna get back in there.

要不您再进去一次？

Ross

(annoyed) Ok!

（不耐烦地）行！

(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)

（助理离开，罗斯回到美黑舱，背对喷头，面朝后墙）

Ross

Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!

等等，后墙上没有灯！我怎么知道什么时候开始？有人吗？（慢慢转身，喷雾启动，喷在了他的脸上）啊！（转身，又转了一次，再次喷到正面）啊！（啐了一口，生气地走出美黑舱，助理走进房间）又搞砸了！

Assistant

You got two more twos?

又喷了两次2号？

Ross

(hysterically) I'm an eight!

（崩溃地）我变成8号了！

Rachel

Thanks for dinner.

谢谢你请我吃饭。

Joey

I thought you paid. (Rachel does not answer and seems puzzled) Ha, guess we won't be going back there!

我还以为是你付的。（瑞秋没说话，一脸疑惑）哈哈，看来我们以后不会再去那家店了！

Rachel

So.

那……

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

(Joey and Rachel start kissing)

（乔伊和瑞秋开始接吻）

Joey

Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?

要不我们去沙发上继续？

Rachel

I say 'cheesy line', but ok.

这话也太土了吧，不过行。

(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel's thigh and she slaps his hand)

（两人挪到沙发上继续接吻，乔伊伸手拂过瑞秋的大腿，瑞秋拍开了他的手）

Joey

What's the matter?

怎么了？

Rachel

I am sorry, I don't know, I am sorry, I don't know why I did that!

对不起，我也不知道怎么回事，我不该这样的！

Joey and Rachel

Okay

没事。

Rachel

Ok, so sorry.

真的对不起。

(They start kissing again and, when Joey grazes her thigh, she slaps him on his hand again)

（两人再次接吻，乔伊又拂过她的大腿，瑞秋再次拍开他的手）

Rachel

I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don't know what happened, I must be nervous!

对不起！又这样了……我也不知道怎么回事，肯定是太紧张了！

Joey

I don't get it, Chandler loved it!

搞不懂啊，钱德勒明明很喜欢这个动作！

Rachel

Ok, ok, ok. I promise, I promise, I promise, I won't do it again. I really do. I promise. This is gonna be great.

好，好，好，我保证，我保证再也不会了。真的，我保证，这次一定好好的。

Joey

Ok.

好。

(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)

（两人又开始接吻，乔伊再伸手时，瑞秋连着拍了他三下，一下打手，两下打脸颊）

Joey

(a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you?

（有点懵）呃，你……感觉还好吗？

Monica

(to Phoebe) No, no, don't get it. Let the machine pick up.

（对菲比）别接，让答录机接。

Phoebe

Oh, yeah. Could be Rachel asking if someone could baby-sit again.

哦对，说不定是瑞秋又找人帮忙看孩子。

Monica

It could be Amanda!

也可能是阿曼达！

Phoebe

Oh, you're right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!

哦，对哦！我刚才开玩笑的，看孩子可好玩了！

(The machine picks up the phone)

（答录机接通电话）

Amanda

Hello Monica. It's Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!

莫妮卡你好，又是我阿曼达。我就在附近，想去你家坐坐！

Monica

You're from Yonkers! Your last name is Buffo-Martisis!

你明明是扬克斯人！姓布福-马蒂斯！

Amanda

Let's see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.

这样吧……为了让你直接联系到我，给我手机回电话。

Phoebe

Ok, don't hold thy breath!

行，别指望我们会回！

(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)

（答录机里传来拨号声）

Chandler

Hello? Is someone on the line?

喂？有人打电话吗？

Amanda

Yes, I was looking for Monica.

嗯，我找莫妮卡。

Chandler

Hang on, she's right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.

等一下，她在这儿。（走进客厅，把电话递给莫妮卡）找你的电话。

Monica

We weren't picking up, it's Amanda!

我们故意不接的，是阿曼达！

Chandler

(to Amanda) I get pedicures!

（对阿曼达）我还做足部护理呢！

Monica

Hi Amanda! Actually now... it's... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!

嗨，阿曼达！其实现在……不太方便。明晚一起吃晚饭？（菲比对着她做口型说“不要”）好，我和菲比到时见！

Phoebe

Why, why, why didn't you just say no!

你为什么不直接拒绝啊！

Monica

Well, I said 'no' to her coming over now! I couldn't say 'no' twice! I get this uncontrollable need to please people!

我已经拒绝她现在来了！我不能连着拒绝两次！我就是忍不住想讨好别人！

Phoebe

(leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!

（起身离开）行吧，行吧！严刑拷打你肯定扛不住！

Monica

And you would?

你就能？

Phoebe

I did!

我试过！

Joey

Rach, you sure you wanna do this?

瑞秋，你确定要继续吗？

Rachel

Absolutely! Absolutely. I d... it's just a little weird, it's you, and it's me, it's just gonna take some getting used to.

当然！当然了。我……就是觉得有点奇怪，毕竟是你和我，总得慢慢适应。

Joey

Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?

好吧，那我们怎么才能自然一点？

Rachel

Ok, let's work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!

我们从上往下慢慢来！（乔伊点点头，随即一脸疑惑，没明白意思）就是先解开我的胸罩，乔伊！

Joey

Ok, yeah, got it.

好，明白了。

Rachel and Joey

Okay.

好。

(They start kissing and Joey starts to undo her bra, but fails completely)

（两人开始接吻，乔伊尝试解开她的胸罩，却怎么也解不开）

Joey

This thing welded shut?!

这玩意儿是焊死的吗？！

Rachel

Okay.

没事。

Joey

All right, turn around, I got to get a look at this thing.

你转过去，我得看看怎么回事。

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won't go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)

（乔伊继续解，还是解不开，松紧带弹回来，打到了瑞秋）

Rachel

Ow!

哎哟！

Joey

Sorry!

对不起！

Rachel

Well this is romantic!

这也太浪漫了吧！

Joey

I'm sorry! (He stands up) This never happened to me before! I'm an expert at taking off bras! I can do it with one hand! I can do it with my eyes closed! One time I just looked at one, and it popped open! I blame your bra!

抱歉！（站起来）我从来没这样过！我可是解胸罩的高手！单手就能解开，闭着眼睛都行！有一次我就看了一眼，它自己就开了！都怪你的胸罩！

Rachel

It's a standard issue bra clasp!

这就是普通的胸罩搭扣！

Joey

Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping!

那就是怪你！对！就是你！你一直拍我手，把我搞紧张了！

Rachel

Ok well, well I'm really, I'm sorry about that Joey, but do you think that maybe on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?

好吧，我真的很抱歉，乔伊。但你有没有想过，可能你潜意识里，根本不想解开我的胸罩？

Joey

(contemplates for a few moments what Rachel just said) NAH! I don't have another level!!

（思考了几秒瑞秋的话）才没有！我根本没有什么潜意识！！

(Chandler is at the table reading; Monica puts some food for him on the table. Ross walks in looking very tanned. Chandler and Monica look up at him smiling.)

（钱德勒坐在桌边看书，莫妮卡给他放了些吃的。罗斯走进来，肤色变得特别深，钱德勒和莫妮卡抬头看着他，笑了起来）

Chandler

Hold on! There is something different.

等等！你有点不一样了。

Ross

I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.

我去了你老婆推荐的那家美黑店了。

Chandler

Was that place... The Sun?

那家店……是太阳吗？

Ross

Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)

可不是嘛！更糟的还在后面！（侧身对着两人，撩起衣服，身上有一道明显的分界线，肚子晒得很黑，后背却很白）

Chandler

Oh My God! You can do a duet of Ebony and Ivory all by yourself!

我的天！你一个人就能唱《黑檀木与象牙》二重唱了！

Monica

How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!

你怎么能搞成这样？多简单的事啊！进舱、数到5、转身就行了！！

Ross

(looks at her suspiciously) How do you count to five?

（怀疑地看着她）你是怎么数到5的？

Monica

One Two Three...

1、2、3……

Ross

(Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)

（大喊）该死！（朝门口走去，瑞秋刚好走进来，看到他后笑了起来）

Rachel

(laughing) oooh! Oh oh!

（笑着）哇！我的天！

Ross

(Still yelling) I Know!

（继续大喊）我知道！

Rachel

oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?

我的天！这位夏威夷小姐是怎么回事？

Chandler

How was your date with Joey?

你和乔伊的约会怎么样？

Rachel

Well, it was good.. until we got back to our apartment, and then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg and I kept slapping it away!

一开始挺好的……回到公寓后，我们亲热的时候，他伸手摸我腿，我就一直拍开他的手！

Chandler

You didn't like that?

你不喜欢那个动作？

Rachel

Well, it wasn't just me, alright? He freaked out too! He couldn't even undo my bra!

不只是我，他也慌了！连我的胸罩都解不开！

Monica

Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.

哇，真的？有一次他就看了一眼我的胸罩，它自己就开了。

(Chandler starts looking at her bra)

（钱德勒盯着莫妮卡的胸罩看）

Rachel

I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.

我不知道我们怎么了，我们以前也接过吻，都很自然！但这次要更进一步的时候，我就总觉得，是乔伊在碰我。

Monica

Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.

毕竟你们当了这么久朋友了。还记得你第一次吻罗斯吗？当时多奇怪？你一直笑个不停，最后不也克服了吗？

Rachel

(looking thoughtful) Ok, that's true. That's true, we can do this. You're right, you're right, we can do this. We're just gonna power through!

（若有所思）对，没错。我们可以的，你说得对，我们一定行，撑过去就好了！

(Joey walks in)

（乔伊走进来）

Joey

Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).

嘿，钱德勒，能跟你说句话吗？（指向走廊）

Rachel

(To Joey) No need!! Problem solved, we are powering through (At which point she grabs his hand and pulls him back to their apartment).

（对乔伊）不用了！问题解决了，我们要撑过去！（拉着乔伊回他们的公寓）

(Chandler resumes staring at Monica's bra)

（钱德勒继续盯着莫妮卡的胸罩看）

Monica

(sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!

（看到他的样子）钱德勒，别盯了！它不会自己开的！

Chandler

(without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)

（视线没离开胸罩）你怎么知道！（莫妮卡笑了笑）

(Phoebe is sitting on the couch. Monica walks in.)

（菲比坐在沙发上，莫妮卡走进来）

Monica

Hey Phoebe!

嘿，菲比！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Is Amanda here yet?

阿曼达来了吗？

Phoebe

No.

还没有。

Monica

(sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.

（坐下）太好了。抱歉，之前没执行好疏远她的计划。但我有新办法了，钱德勒答应几分钟后打过来，说有急事。

Phoebe

Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?

哦！什么急事能把我们俩都叫走？

Monica

Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?

你觉得迈克和钱德勒出车祸怎么样？

Phoebe

(makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!

（做了个鬼脸）你开玩笑吧，太完美了！

(A blonde woman walks in. Supposedly Amanda)

（一个金发女人走进来，应该是阿曼达）

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Hi!

嗨！

Amanda

Hi! (Phoebe and Amanda hug)

嗨！（菲比和阿曼达拥抱）

Amanda

(To Monica) Hello!

（对莫妮卡）你好！

(Monica holds her hands out for a hug, but instead of hugging her, Amanda hangs her purse on one of Monica's extended arms.)

（莫妮卡伸手想拥抱，阿曼达却没抱她，把包挂在了她的手臂上）

Amanda

(In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all!

（用假英国腔）见到你们太开心了！你们俩！看看我，我是不是看起来特别年轻！（把外套也递给莫妮卡）天呐！我们有好多话要说！不过先摸摸我的腹肌！（抓过菲比和莫妮卡的手放在自己肚子上）我可是从来不运动的！

Amanda

(To Phoebe) Smell my neck! (Phoebe does so) It's not perfume! It's me! It's my natural scent!

（对菲比）闻闻我的脖子！（菲比照做）这不是香水！是我自己的味道！我的体香！

(Monica looks shocked)

（莫妮卡一脸震惊）

Phoebe

Musty!

一股霉味！

Amanda

Oh! Gosh! This is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times. I'm so happy you two are friends again!

天呐！太美好了，就像以前一样，真开心你们又和好了！

Monica

When were we not friends?

我们什么时候没好过？

Amanda

Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).

1992年啊，我记得特别清楚，那年我和埃维尔·克尼维尔上过床。（得意地大笑）

Monica

Ehm, we were friends in 1992.

呃，1992年我们明明是好朋友。

Amanda

(to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.

（对菲比）不对，我记得特别清楚，你当时一直躲着她（指莫妮卡），不接她电话，也不见她。

Monica

(To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?

（对菲比）你当时想疏远我？

Phoebe

Well...kinda.

嗯……算是吧。

Monica

Oh My God!

我的天！

Amanda

Oh! Bugger. Should I not have said that? I feel like a perfect arse!

哎呀！糟了，我不该说这个吗？我感觉自己太蠢了！

Phoebe

Yeah well, in America you're just an "ass".

没事，在美国你就是个“笨蛋”。

(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)

（莫妮卡的手机响了，她接起电话）

Monica

(Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)

（对着电话）喂？钱德勒，怎么了？（听电话）天呐，你没事吧？（继续听）好，我马上到。（挂电话，对阿曼达）抱歉，钱德勒出车祸了。（起身）

Phoebe

(Also gets up and starts taking her purse) Oh my God. Was Mike with him?

（也起身拿包）天呐，迈克和他一起吗？

Monica

Nope! (She turns and leaves)

没有！（转身离开）

(Joey comes running in.)

（乔伊跑进来）

Joey

(To Rachel) Hey!

（对瑞秋）嘿！

Rachel

Hey! Got champagne?

嘿！买香槟了吗？

Joey

Yes ma'am, ready to Power through!

买了，女士，准备好撑过去！

Rachel

Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...

太好了！放进冰桶里，电话线拔了，为了顺利撑过去……（脱下衣服，露出里面的胸罩）

Joey

Uh! (When she's done she throws her bra at him)

呃！（瑞秋脱下胸罩扔给了他）

Rachel

Ok (starts to light some candles) Sexy, sexy, very sexy, sexy. (Claps her hands and jumps at Joey, clearly very excited) Alright! Lets do it!

好。（点燃蜡烛）性感，太性感了。（拍手扑向乔伊，兴奋不已）好了，开始吧！

Joey

Ok, you're scaring me a little bit.

好，你有点吓到我了。

Rachel

Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?

别怂，我们必须成功！（把他拉过来推倒在躺椅上）好，你喜欢这样对吧？

Joey

Oh! yeah!

嗯！喜欢！

Rachel

You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)

你喜欢？（妖娆地爬上躺椅，膝盖抵着乔伊的腰）我们来点刺激的。（拉下躺椅拉杆，椅背放倒，她把一条腿放在他双腿之间，吻他的脖子）

Joey

uh uh!

嗯！

Rachel

Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!

来吧宝贝，我教你怎么做！

Joey

No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!

不不不！你膝盖顶到我了！

Rachel

What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?

什么？天呐！对不起，乔伊，你没事吧？

Joey

(He just sits there, legs very close together with a painful look on his face) Soldier down!

（坐在原地，双腿并拢，一脸痛苦）我不行了！

(Chandler is sitting on the couch reading. Monica walks in.)

（钱德勒坐在沙发上看书，莫妮卡走进来）

Monica

We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.

我和菲比绝交了。

Chandler

If she asks, I protested a little, but ok!

她要是问，我就说我劝过你，行！

(Phoebe and Amanda walk in)

（菲比和阿曼达走进来）

Phoebe

Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?

哦，钱德勒！谢天谢地你没事。莫妮卡，能跟你出去说句话吗？

Monica

I have nothing to say to you.

我没什么好跟你说的。

Amanda

(announces more to herself than anyone else) Wow, my flat is twice this size!

（自言自语）哇，我的公寓比这大两倍！

Phoebe

Please, Monica? In the hall?

拜托了，莫妮卡，走廊里说？

(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)

（两人走到门口，来到走廊）

Amanda

Ooh, that accident must have been terrible. You look positively ghastly.

哦，车祸肯定很严重吧，你脸色太差了。

Chandler

Well, aren't you a treat.

你可真会说话。

Monica

I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?

我真不敢相信你当时想疏远我，为什么啊，菲比？

Phoebe

It was right after we were living together and you were driving me crazy, okay? You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.

我们刚分开住那会儿，你快把我逼疯了，行吗？你控制欲强、强迫症、还爱大喊大叫。

Monica

I'm still all those things!

我现在还是这样啊！

Phoebe

You're also so generous and kind and scrappy!

但你还很慷慨、善良、又勇敢！

Monica

(starts smiling) I am scrappy.

（笑了起来）我是挺勇敢的。

Phoebe

Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.

可不是嘛！我怎么都没法把你从我的生活里赶走。我疏远过那么多人，只有你，硬生生又回到了我身边。

Monica

It's because I'm scrappy.

因为我够勇敢。

Phoebe

Yeah, you are. And I'm so glad that you fought your way back in, because I don't know what I would do without you.

对，没错。我特别开心你回来了，没有你我真不知道该怎么办。

Monica

I won't know what I would do without you.

我也一样。

(They hug)

（两人拥抱）

Monica

Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda.

我们回去吧。你都愿意再给我一次机会，我们也该给阿曼达一次机会。

Phoebe

Yeah, I guess you're right.

嗯，你说得对。

(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)

（两人回到公寓，阿曼达正在给钱德勒“跳舞”，跳得特别难看）

Amanda

Can you believe it. I've never had any professional dance training.

厉害吧，我从来没上过专业舞蹈课。

(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)

（莫妮卡和菲比对视一眼，又走出了公寓）

(Glenda, who works here, and Ross are walking to the room with the spray-on tan booth.)

（店员格伦达和罗斯走向美黑舱所在的房间）

Glenda

Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and...

我跟您说一下流程，进舱之后……

Ross

I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two's... and I want them all on my back.

别说了，格伦达。我看着像第一次来吗？我要4次2号色，全都喷后背。

Glenda

(quietly) Okay...

（小声）好的……

(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)

（罗斯走进房间，脱下浴袍进舱，背对喷头，随即发现这个舱两面墙上都有喷头）

Ross

Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?

等等，有两组喷头，该用哪组？

(He turns around frantically from side to side.)

（他慌乱地左右转身）

Ross

Which... which... which... Which one is it?

哪组……哪组……到底哪组？

(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)

（他停下转身，正对其中一组喷头，喷头再次喷在了他的脸和正面）

Ross

OH! SON OF A BITCH!

该死！

(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)

（他转向另一组喷头，这组也喷在了他的脸和正面）

(Joey and Rachel are both sitting on the couch. Joey keeping his knees pressed against each other)

（乔伊和瑞秋坐在沙发上，乔伊双腿紧紧并拢）

Rachel

What is the matter with us?

我们到底怎么了？

Joey

Well, I know what's the matter with me.

我知道我怎么了。

Rachel

No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?

不是，我是说我们俩，这种事本来就该这么难吗？

Joey

I don't know.

我不知道。

(Chandler enters the apartment)

（钱德勒走进公寓）

Chandler

That fake British woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance... Hey!

那个假英国腔的女人真够讨厌的，不过舞跳得还行……嘿！

Rachel

Hi! Hey, listen, can we ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up, was it weird going from friends to... more than that?

嘿！问你个事呗，你和莫妮卡刚在一起的时候，从朋友变成恋人，会不会觉得很奇怪？

Chandler

Kinda... you know, sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...

有点吧……偷偷摸摸的，还得瞒着你们。

Rachel

No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally...

不是，我是说……亲密接触的时候……

Joey

Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?

对，会不会觉得……这样做很不对劲？

Chandler

Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.

其实没有，感觉特别自然。就觉得……哎，我们怎么现在才在一起，早该这样了。

(Rachel and Joey are still looking at Chandler, slowly letting his words get to them)

（瑞秋和乔伊看着钱德勒，慢慢消化他的话）

Chandler

I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)

看你们的表情，就知道这是你们想听的好消息……我先走了，继续传递快乐去。（钱德勒离开公寓，乔伊叹了口气）

Rachel

Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.

他们顺利，不代表我们也得这样。

Joey

Yeah, yeah... Absolutely. I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit.

对，没错。难不代表就要放弃。

Rachel

Right, totally.

没错。

Joey

Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it.

我们就一直试，直到成功。

Rachel

Yeah, and if doesn't work, then we'll be just one of those couples that never have sex.

嗯，要是实在不行，我们就当一对没有亲密生活的情侣好了。

Joey

That's a... pla-an.

这主意……也行。

(They both stare for a while, and then look at each other)

（两人对视了一会儿）

Joey

(sighs) Wow... I did not see this coming.

（叹气）真没想到会这样。

Rachel

I know.

我也没想到。

Joey

I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted.

我搞不懂，我明明特别确定自己想要和你在一起。

Rachel

Hmmm... Me too...

我也是……

(She puts her head on Joey's shoulder and Joey kisses her on her head.)

（她把头靠在乔伊肩上，乔伊吻了吻她的头）

Rachel

I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?

真好奇莫妮卡和钱德勒是怎么做到的。

Joey

I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.

可能他们没我们这么好的朋友吧。

(Lifts her head from Joey's shoulder)

（瑞秋抬起头）

Rachel

Aah... I bet you're right.

嗯……你说得对。

(They look at each other for a while)

（两人对视片刻）

Joey

So...

那……

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Joey

I love ya.

我爱你。

Rachel

Love you too... Alright, I'm going to bed.

我也爱你……我去睡觉了。

Joey

Yeah, me too.

我也是。

(Rachel gets up, and Joey tries to get up, but halfway up he sits down again.)

（瑞秋起身，乔伊也想站起来，刚起身又坐了回去）

Joey

Ooh, yeah, I'm not going anywhere for a while.

哎哟，我暂时哪儿也去不了了。

(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)

（乔伊拿起装着香槟的冰桶，放在自己受伤的地方）

ENDING CREDITS

片尾字幕

(Ross is reading a National Geographic on his sofa when Chandler knocks on the door.)

（罗斯坐在沙发上看《国家地理》，钱德勒敲门）

Chandler

Dude, it's Chandler. Let me in.

兄弟，是我，开门。

(Ross's face is now a VERY dark shade of brown.)

（罗斯的脸变得黝黑黝黑的）

Ross

Go away! I don't want to see anybody.

走开！我谁都不想见。

Chandler

I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.

我知道，我也去美黑了，也搞砸了，开门吧。

Ross

Really? Did you count Mississipily?

真的？你也数小绵羊了？

(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)

（罗斯走到门口开门）

Ross

Dude, you're not tanned.

兄弟，你根本没晒黑啊。

Chandler

No, I just had to get a picture of this.

是啊，我就是来拍张照的。

(Chandler holds up a camera and takes Ross's picture.)

（钱德勒拿出相机给罗斯拍了张照）

Chandler

I see you later!

回头见！

(Ross closes the door)

（罗斯关上门）

The End

剧终