The One Where Ross Is Fine

Joey

Okay, Ross, I realise that you didn't expect to walk in and see that, but.. Let me explain, okay?

好吧，罗斯，我知道你没想到一进来会看到这一幕，但是……听我解释好吗？

Rachel

We weren't doing anything!

我们什么都没做！

Joey

Rach, he just saw us.

瑞秋，他都看见了。

Rachel

Shhh.

嘘——

Joey

But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.

但你看到的就是全部了，好吗？就一个吻而已。

Rachel

No, come on, that is a lie. We also kissed in Barbados.

不对，别装了，你在撒谎。我们在巴巴多斯也吻过。

Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.

哥们儿，别乱说！（对罗斯）好吧，我们在巴巴多斯也吻过，但我们不是故意的，好吗？会那样只是因为我看见你吻查理了。

Rachel

Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill.

对，是你先开始的！我得冷静点。

Joey

Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..

你看，这事发生前我们或许该跟你说一声，但是……

Rachel

We feel so terrible about this, Ross.

罗斯，我们真的特别愧疚。

Joey

Yeah, but it did happen, so...

是啊，但事已至此，所以……

(Ross looks shocked and says nothing.)

（罗斯一脸震惊，一言不发。）

Joey

Ross?

罗斯？

Rachel

Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?

罗斯？（对乔伊）我们能把门关上吗？

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Rachel

Ross, say something. Anything.

罗斯，说点什么吧，什么都行。

Ross

So you two are..?

所以你们俩……在一起了？

Joey and Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Ross

And have you .. ed?

那你们有没有……（做过）？

Joey

No, no, no!

没有，没有，没有！

Rachel

No, no, no!

没有，没有，没有！

Ross

But if I hadn't walked in here, would you..?

但如果我没进来，你们会不会……？

Joey

Probably.

可能会。

(Rachel looks at him.)

（瑞秋瞪了他一眼。）

Joey

No, no!

没有，没有！

Rachel

Ross, this is not how we wanted you to find out about this. You have every right to go nuts.

罗斯，我们本来不想让你以这种方式知道的。你完全有理由发火。

Ross

I'm not going nuts. Do you see me go nuts?

我没发火啊。你看我像发火的样子吗？

Rachel

No, but you know what I mean.

不像，但你懂我的意思。

Ross

Hey, hey, hey... If you two are happy, then I'm happy for you. (Squeaky.) I'm fine!

嘿，嘿，嘿……如果你们俩开心，我就为你们开心。（声音尖细）我没事！

Joey

Really?

真的？

Ross

Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.

当然。（声音更尖细）我没事！完全没事！我不知道为什么声音又大又尖，其实真的，（压低声音）我没事。我不是说看到你们接吻我一点都不吃惊，一开始我确实有点……（尖叫）。但现在我已经接受了，我很乐意接受这件事。

Joey

Ross..

罗斯……

Ross

It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?

一切都很好啊！我和查理，你们俩。知道我们该做什么吗？

Rachel

Calm ourselves?

冷静下来？

Ross

No. We should all have dinner. Yes, we'll do it tomorrow night. I'll cook!!

不是。我们一起吃顿饭吧。对，就明天晚上，我来做饭！！

Joey

Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?

你不觉得这样有点尴尬吗？

Ross

Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)

尴尬？什么？有什么好尴尬的？唯一尴尬的事就是有人不爱吃墨西哥菜，因为我要做墨西哥铁板烧！！（气冲冲地走开。）

Joey

I do like fajitas.

我挺爱吃铁板烧的。

Monica

God, this adoption stuff is so overwhelming. There's inter-country adoption, dependency adoption.. There are so many ways to go, and this is like the biggest decision of our lives.

天呐，领养这事也太让人头大了。有跨国领养、亲属领养……选择太多了，这简直是我们这辈子做过的最重大的决定。

Chandler

There's a hair in my coffee.

我咖啡里有根头发。

(Phoebe enters.)

（菲比走进来。）

Phoebe

Hey guys!

嘿，大家好！

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.

嘿，你们看见小弗兰克了吗？他要带着三胞胎来这儿见我。

Chandler

You know, it's funny. Every time you say "triplets," I immediately think of three hot blonde 19-year olds.

说起来真有意思，每次你说“三胞胎”，我立马就想到三个火辣的金发19岁姑娘。

(Monica glares at him.)

（莫妮卡瞪了他一眼。）

Monica

That's sweet. Drink your hair.

想得挺美，喝你的咖啡（里的头发）吧。

Phoebe

Hey, what's all this stuff?

嘿，这些是什么呀？

Monica

Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.

哦，这些是不同领养机构的宣传册。

Phoebe

Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!

哇，小宝宝！这个好可爱，就要这个！

Monica

That's not really how it works.

事情不是这么办的。

Phoebe

Oh, how does it work?

哦，那是怎么办的？

Monica

I don't know!

我也不知道！

Phoebe

Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.

那你们要是觉得难，就去问问我的朋友比尔和科琳吧，他们领养过孩子，肯定能帮上忙。

Monica

Thanks, that would be great. Hey, honey, wouldn't that be great?

谢谢，那太好了。嘿，老公，是不是很棒？

(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)

（钱德勒的表情，就像第六季第五集《乔伊的保时捷》里他吞了玩具那次一样，还在纠结咖啡里的头发。）

(Frank Jr. and the triplets enter.)

（小弗兰克带着三胞胎走进来。）

Frank Jr.

Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.

好了好了好了，记住我们说好的，在公共场合要守规矩。

(The triplets scream and run amok in the coffeehouse.)

（三胞胎尖叫着在咖啡馆里乱跑。）

Frank Jr.

That's not what we talked about!!

我们说好的根本不是这样！！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Frank Jr.

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Good to see you.

见到你真好。

Frank Jr.

Good to see you, too.

我也是。

Monica

Hi Frank.

嗨，弗兰克。

Frank Jr.

Hi, how you doin'?

嗨，过得怎么样？

Monica

Oh, my goodness, they've all gotten so big!

天呐，他们都长这么大了！

(Little Chandler is pulling Chandler's sweater, while Leslie is throwing bagels at him.)

（小钱德勒拽着钱德勒的毛衣，莱斯利则朝他扔百吉饼。）

Monica

Which one is which again?

我再问问，哪个是哪个呀？

Frank Jr.

Oh, that's Frank Jr. Jr. pulling the tampons out of the lady's purse. And that's Chandler climbing on Chandler, and that's Leslie throwing bagels at him.

哦，从那位女士包里扯卫生棉条的是小小弗兰克。爬到钱德勒身上的是小钱德勒，朝他扔百吉饼的是莱斯利。

Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No!

“愿意领养三胞胎吗？”不愿意！

Joey

Ah, can I just say I know we're doing this for Ross, and that's cool, but if it was up to me, this is not what we'd be doing on our first date.

呃，我想说，我知道我们这么做是为了罗斯，挺好的，但要是听我的，我们第一次约会才不会这么过呢。

Rachel

Well, what would we be doing?

那你想怎么过？

Joey

I'd take you out for a romantic night. Some champagne, fancy dinner, feel you up on the carriage ride home...

我带你去过个浪漫的夜晚，喝点香槟，吃顿大餐，坐马车回家的时候摸摸你……

Rachel

Feel me up?

摸我？

Joey

In a carriage!

在马车里！

(Charlie walks up to them.)

（查理朝他们走过来。）

Joey

Hey, Charlie!

嘿，查理！

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Charlie

Hi, hi. So.. Dreading this?

嗨，嗨。所以……很紧张吧？

Rachel

Oh, you bet.

可不是嘛。

(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)

（乔伊看到她拎着一个红色的小包。）

Joey

So, did you bring a little something for Ross?

你给罗斯带了小礼物吗？

Charlie

Actually.. It's stuff you left at my apartment.

其实……这是你落在我公寓的东西。

Joey

Oh. Oh, thanks.

哦，谢谢。

Charlie

And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.

我的东西你也随时可以还给我。

Joey

Yeah, I didn't throw any of that out..

好，我没扔任何东西……

(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)

（三人走进罗斯的公寓，罗斯已经兴奋得不行。）

Ross

I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.

我就说听到声音了！嗨，查理！（亲吻查理）嗨，乔伊！（拥抱乔伊）还有……哦！你可得给我介绍介绍你的新女朋友。（大笑）开玩笑的，我认识瑞秋，我认识。（握紧瑞秋的手）快，快进来，进来。

Rachel

Okay, well, we brought you some wine.

好，我们给你带了点酒。

Ross

Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)

哦！太贴心了。（对乔伊）你可得好好对她。你给我带了什么？（一把抢过查理给乔伊的包。）

Joey

Uh, actually, that's..

呃，其实那是……

Ross

Underwear, a toothbrush, and Van Halen CD. I can use all these things!!

内裤、牙刷，还有范·海伦乐队的CD，这些我都用得上！！

Charlie

Gosh, Ross, you know, you seem a little...

天呐，罗斯，你好像有点……

Ross

What? Fine? Because I am! Aren't you? Aren't you? Aren't you? You see? Who else is fine?

有点什么？没事？我本来就没事！你们呢？你们没事吧？没事吧？看到没？还有谁没事？

Joey

Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.

好了，听着，罗斯，你放松点好不好？喝点酒吧。

Ross

You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.

你说得对，好主意。我去调一大壶玛格丽特酒。

(Does a Mexican dancing-thing before going to the kitchen.)

（去厨房前跳了段墨西哥风格的舞。）

Phoebe

Oh, god. So adorable. Look at them sleeping there like angels.

天呐，太可爱了。看他们睡得像小天使一样。

Frank Jr.

Yeah, I really cherish these moments, 'cause before you know it, they're gonna be awake again.

是啊，我特别珍惜这一刻，因为一眨眼他们就又醒了。

Phoebe

Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.

他们虽然调皮，但真的好可爱。

Frank Jr.

Yeah.

嗯。

Phoebe

Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..

天呐，我上次帮你带他们的时候，他们做了件超好笑的事……

Frank Jr.

I haven't slept in four years!

我四年没睡过好觉了！

Phoebe

That's a, that's a long time.

好久啊。

Frank Jr.

You just don't know how hard it is, Phoebe. There's just so many of them. You know, two I can handle. Two's great. You just hold one in each hand, but what do I do when the third one runs at me with his bike helmet on. I've got no more hands to protect my area! There's three of them, Phoebe, three!

你根本不知道有多难，菲比。孩子太多了。两个我还能应付，两个刚刚好，一手抱一个。可第三个戴着自行车头盔朝我冲过来的时候，我都没手护着要害了！是三个啊菲比，三个！

Phoebe

Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.

我知道，弗兰克，他们从我肚子里出来的时候我数过了。

Frank Jr.

Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No.

有时候我真想……不行不行，太可怕了，我不能说。

Phoebe

What?

想说什么？

Frank Jr.

No, I can't.

不说了。

Phoebe

Oh my god, Frank, are you thinking of leaving? Because I didn't have those triplets so you could just run out on them!

天呐，弗兰克，你是不是想跑路？我当初辛苦生下三胞胎，不是让你丢下他们不管的！

Frank Jr.

Oh, no! I would never do that. No. I just was thinking that, you know, maybe you could take one.

不是！我绝对不会那么做的。我就是想，或许你可以领养一个。

Phoebe

What?! You can't separate them! That's terrible. Which one?

什么？！你不能把他们分开！太残忍了。你想送哪个？

Monica

Thank you so much for seeing us. Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.

太感谢你们愿意见我们了，菲比跟我们说了好多你们的事。

Colleen

Oh, please, we're happy to help.

别客气，我们很乐意帮忙。

Bill

We went through the same thing when we were adopting.

我们当初领养的时候也经历过这些。

Chandler

So, a lot of malfunctioning wee-wees and hoo-hoos in this room, huh?

那这屋里肯定有不少小麻烦（指代孩子）吧？

(Bill and Colleen look shocked.)

（比尔和科琳一脸震惊。）

Chandler

I mean, you have a lovely home.

我的意思是，你们家真温馨。

Monica

Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us.

不管你们能告诉我们什么，我们都很感激。

Colleen

Well, actually, I think this might help.

其实，我觉得这个应该能帮上忙。

(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)

（她递给莫妮卡一个整理得井井有条的大活页夹。）

Colleen

It's pretty much all the information you need.

里面基本包含了你们需要的所有信息。

Monica

Oh my god!

天呐！

Colleen

Everything is broken down into categories, and then cross-referenced, and then colour-coded to correspond with the forms in the back.

所有内容都分了类，还做了交叉索引，用不同颜色标注，和后面的表格对应。

Monica

Thank you. (To Chandler.) I think I just had a tiny orgasm.

谢谢。（对钱德勒）我简直太激动了。

Bill

I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it. Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.

我知道领养过程很折腾，但一切都值得。领养欧文是我们这辈子做过最对的事。

Chandler

That's great. (To Monica.) Can I see the book?

真好。（对莫妮卡）我能看看这个本子吗？

(Monica looks at him.)

（莫妮卡看着他。）

Chandler

You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?

你是想让我先洗手，对吧？

Monica

It's.. It's just so pretty and white.

它……又干净又好看。

Colleen

The bathroom is down the hall, to your left.

洗手间在走廊尽头，左边。

(Chandler leaves.)

（钱德勒离开。）

Colleen

I would have told him to do it too.

我也会让他先洗手的。

Monica

Can I adopt you?

我能领养你吗？

(Cut to the hall. Owen is wearing his scout-uniform and is looking through a box when Chandler walks up to him.)

（镜头转到走廊。欧文穿着童子军制服，正在翻一个盒子，钱德勒朝他走过去。）

Chandler

Hey, you must be Owen.

嘿，你就是欧文吧？

Owen

Yeah.

嗯。

Chandler

I'm Chandler. Hey, I was in the scouts too.

我是钱德勒。我以前也当过童子军。

Owen

You were?

真的吗？

Chandler

Yeah, in fact my father was a den-mother.

是啊，我爸爸还是童子军的女训导员呢。

Owen

Huh?

啊？

Chandler

You know how to use a compass?

你会用指南针吗？

Owen

I have a badge in it.

我有指南针徽章。

Chandler

You do? That's fantastic!

真的？太厉害了！

Owen

You wanna see it?

你想看吗？

Chandler

I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.

想啊，但我得回去跟你爸妈聊天了，他们正跟我们说领养你的事呢。

Owen

What?!?

什么？！？

Chandler

What?

怎么了？

Owen

I'm adopted?

我是领养的？

(Chandler tries to come up with a good answer.)

（钱德勒想找个合适的理由。）

Chandler

I got nothing.

我无话可说了。

Ross

The first batch of margaritas was not so great, but the second batch is gooooood.

第一批玛格丽特一般般，但第二批超好喝。

Rachel

Well, maybe the next batch, we could all get some.

那下一批，我们也喝点吧。

Ross

Oh, guys, this is fun, isn't it? You know? Just the four of us. Just hangin'.

大家玩得开心吧？就我们四个人，聚在一起真好。

Joey

Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?

你还好吧？铁板烧什么时候好？

Ross

I'm fine! Hey, I'm great! I'm just.. I'm just proud of us. There's no weirdness, no tension.

我没事！我好得很！我就是……为我们感到骄傲。一点都不尴尬，一点都不紧张。

Rachel

No awareness.

是你自己没感觉。

Ross

We make a great foursome. We should do more stuff together. Ooh! Let's take a trip. Okay, where do you think we - we can go?

我们四个人太合拍了，以后要多一起玩。哦！我们去旅行吧，你们觉得去哪儿好？

(The oven timer pings in the kitchen.)

（厨房的烤箱定时器响了。）

Ross

My fajitas!!

我的铁板烧！！

(He runs off to the kitchen.)

（他冲进厨房。）

Rachel

Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.

查理，我跟你说一下，罗斯就是一时没法接受我和乔伊在一起，他平时不这么喝酒的。

Charlie

Oh, you know what? This is nothing. My father is a raging alcoholic.

没事，这不算什么，我爸爸是个酗酒很严重的人。

(Joey and Rachel don't know how to respond to that.)

（乔伊和瑞秋一时不知道该说什么。）

Charlie

Oh, I'm sorry, have I made this evening uncomfortable?

抱歉，是不是我说的话让气氛尴尬了？

(Ross enters carrying a frying pan with fajitas - without any oven mitts.)

（罗斯端着一盘铁板烧出来，没戴隔热手套。）

Ross

Fajitas! Be careful, very hot plate, very hot plate!!

铁板烧来啦！小心，盘子很烫，很烫！！

Rachel

Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!

罗斯，你都没戴隔热手套！

(Ross laughs.)

（罗斯大笑。）

Ross

That is gonna hurt tomorrow!

明天肯定要疼死了！

Phoebe

Okay, well, this is crazy. Can't seriously be talking about me taking one of your kids, can we?

好了，别闹了，你不会真让我领养一个吧？

Frank Jr.

No, of course we're not.

当然不会。

Phoebe

Insane.

太离谱了。

Frank Jr.

I know.

是啊。

Phoebe

Alice would never go for it, right?

爱丽丝肯定不会同意的，对吧？

Frank Jr.

Oh, I don't know, she's pretty tired, too, I think we've got her onboard.

不好说，她也累坏了，我觉得她会同意的。

Phoebe

Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up?

假设一下，要是真要送一个，你舍得送哪个？

Frank Jr.

Huh.

嗯。

Phoebe

Frank Jr.Jr.?

小小弗兰克？

Frank Jr.

Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.

他特别好，特别搞笑。前几天他还编了个笑话。

Phoebe

Uh-huh.

哦？

Frank Jr.

What's green and says "hey, I'm a frog"? A talking frog! (Laughs.) Oh, no, you can't have him, he's too funny.

什么东西是绿色的，还会说“嘿，我是青蛙”？会说话的青蛙！（大笑）不行，不能送他，他太搞笑了。

Phoebe

Well, alright, that's fine. What about Leslie?

好吧，那莱斯利呢？

Frank Jr.

Oh, no, no. Not Leslie. No, she's, she's the only one that knows how to burp the alphabet.

不行不行，不能送莱斯利。她是唯一一个会打着嗝背字母表的。

Phoebe

Alright, so that leaves Chandler.

那只剩小钱德勒了。

Frank Jr.

Oh, no, no, you can't have Chandler, no. No, no. She's my little genius. I got big hopes for her. She's gonna be a doctor or a realtor..

不行不行，小钱德勒也不能送。她是我的小天才，我对她期望很高，她以后会当医生或者房产经纪人的。

Phoebe

Wow, Frank. I think we just ran out of kids.

天呐，弗兰克，看来一个都送不了。

Frank Jr.

Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.

是啊，菲比，我一个都舍不得。他们虽然把我折腾疯了，但都是我的宝贝。

Phoebe

I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.

对不起，弗兰克，我不知道你这么难。我以后多帮你，你什么时候需要我带孩子，随时跟我说。

Frank Jr.

How about tomorrow?

明天行吗？

Phoebe

Well, that's not good. But you know, I can move some stuff around, and I'll be there. You and Alice just take the whole day together.

明天不太方便，但我可以调整一下时间，明天我来。你和爱丽丝好好过一天二人世界。

Frank Jr.

You'd do that for us?

你愿意帮我们这么大的忙？

Phoebe

Are you kidding? That's what sisters are for.

废话，姐妹不就是用来帮忙的嘛。

Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!

看他们，太可爱了，我太爱你们了。（摸了摸莱斯利的头发，她动了一下）糟了，别醒，别醒！

Chandler

Where are Bill and Colleen?

比尔和科琳呢？

Monica

They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?

他们去厨房拿吃的了。他们人真好，你敢信吗？

Chandler

We have to leave!!

我们得赶紧走！！

Monica

Why? What did you do in the bathroom?

怎么了？你在洗手间干嘛了？

Chandler

I didn't get to the bathroom. I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted. And there's a slight chance I may have told him.

我没去洗手间，路上碰到欧文了，他不知道自己是领养的，我不小心告诉他了。

Monica

Oh my god, where's my purse? No, you know what? I can replace everything in there. Get that binder, and let's go!

天呐，我的包呢？算了，包不要了，赶紧拿上那个活页夹，快走！

(Bill and Colleen enter.)

（比尔和科琳走进来。）

Colleen

Hey.

嘿。

Bill

Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.

给大家拿了点零食，酸糖蚯蚓不用吃，是给欧文的。

Colleen

I'll go get him in a second. By the way, you should know we haven't told him he's adopted yet.

我去叫他。对了，跟你们说下，我们还没告诉他他是领养的。

Chandler

But kids are so intuitive. Don't you think on some level he already knows?

小孩子直觉很准的，说不定他心里已经知道了？

(Owen comes running in.)

（欧文跑进来。）

Owen

I'm adopted?!

我是领养的？！

Chandler

See? Intuitive!

看吧，直觉超准！

Bill

What? Where did you hear that?

什么？你听谁说的？

Owen

He told me! And he paid me 50 dollars not to tell.

他告诉我的！还塞给我50块让我别说。

Chandler

Which technically now you should give back!

那现在你该把钱还我！

Colleen

You told him he's adopted?

你告诉他他是领养的了？

Chandler

I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."

对不起，你们应该贴个提示，或者客人进门时悄悄说一句“欧文不知道自己是领养的，还相信圣诞老人”。

Owen

He isn't?!

圣诞老人不是真的？！

Chandler (to Monica): We have to get out of here, baby!

我们赶紧走，宝贝！

Ross

Everyone? I would like to make a toast to Rachel and Joey.

大家注意，我要敬瑞秋和乔伊一杯。

Rachel

Ooy.

哦。

Ross

And to love. Ah, love. L-O-V-E, love. L is for life. And what is life without love?

也敬爱情。爱情，L-O-V-E。L代表生活，没有爱情的生活算什么？

Rachel

Oh my god, are we supposed to answer?

天呐，我们还要回答吗？

Ross

O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.

O代表“哇哦”，V代表这件出乎意料的事，顺便说下我完全接受。E代表我觉得你们在一起特别正常。你们以后会结婚，会有自己的孩子。

(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)

（罗斯哽咽了一下，停了下来，瑞秋和乔伊看着他。）

Joey

Dude, are you okay?

你还好吧？

Ross

Totally.

没事。

Rachel

Ross, you don't seem okay.

罗斯，你看起来不对劲。

Ross (on the verge of tears): I'm sorry, it must be the pressure of entertaining. I think everyone would feel better if we had some flan.

抱歉，肯定是招待大家太紧张了。吃点焦糖布丁会好点。

Charlie

Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.

等等，罗斯，我得走了。

Ross

No!

别！

Charlie

I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.

抱歉，我明天早上有早课，今晚很开心。

Ross

Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.

可不是嘛，你之前还觉得和乔伊一起尴尬，还说你不喜欢瑞秋。

Charlie

You're on fire! I'll call you in the morning, okay?

你喝多了！我明天早上给你打电话，好吗？

Ross

Okay.

好。

Charlie

Alright.

再见。

(Ross goes to the kitchen.)

（罗斯去厨房了。）

Charlie

God, Rachel, what Ross just said that is just so..

天呐，瑞秋，罗斯刚才说的话太……

Rachel

Oh, that's okay, girls tend not to like me.

没事，女生本来就不太喜欢我。

Charlie

Bye.

再见。

(Ross enters from the kitchen with three plates with flan.)

（罗斯端着三盘焦糖布丁从厨房出来。）

Ross

Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!

看来只剩三个人吃布丁了！嘿，还押韵了！

Rachel

You know what, Ross? I think we're gonna take off too.

罗斯，我们也该走了。

Ross

Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.

哦，对，我真笨。你们现在是情侣了，肯定想单独待着。

Rachel

No, no, it's just that it's getting late...

不是，就是太晚了……

Ross

Hey, hey, it's fine. It's totally fine. We've got plenty of margaritas. It's all good.

没事，真的没事。我还有好多玛格丽特酒，挺好的。

(The oven timer pings again.)

（烤箱定时器又响了。）

Ross

I don't even know what that's for.

我都忘了是干嘛的了。

(He goes back to the kitchen.)

（他又回厨房了。）

Joey

You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.

我留下来陪他吧，看看他没事。

Rachel

Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

嗯，也好。

Joey

Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.

嗯，明天见。

Rachel

Uh-huh. Okay. You know what, Joey, I don't think he's ever gonna be okay with this.

好。乔伊，我觉得他永远都接受不了这件事。

Joey

It doesn't look good, does it?

看着不太乐观，是吧？

(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)

（两人互吻脸颊，瑞秋离开。）

Joey

Morning. Here you go.

早，咖啡给你。

Ross

Thanks. Did you stay here all night?

谢谢。你昨晚一直在这儿？

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

Ross

So you took off my pants and shoes?

是你帮我脱了裤子和鞋？

Joey

No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.

不是，你自己跟着《芝加哥》原声音乐跳舞时脱的。罗斯，关于我和瑞秋的事，你别担心，我们不会怎么样的。

Ross

What do you mean?

什么意思？

Joey

Well, she and I said from the beginning that we weren't gonna do anything unless you were okay with it. And clearly..

我和瑞秋一开始就说好了，你不同意，我们就不会在一起。很明显……

Ross

Hey, what are you talking about? I'm fine!

别乱说，我没事！

Joey

It's okay, Ross, alright? I totally understand. Of course you're not fine. You're.. You're Ross and Rachel.

没事的罗斯，我懂。你当然不好受，毕竟你们是……罗斯和瑞秋。

Ross

Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?

我们早就不是了，我们分手都六年了。天呐，真的吗？都这么久了？

Joey

That's what I hear, yeah.

是啊，我记得是。

Ross

This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?

太不可思议了，六年了。就因为我，你们不能在一起？我问你，你对瑞秋到底是什么感觉？

Joey

Come on, I mean, you know me, you know...

你了解我的，我……

Ross

Joey.

乔伊。

Joey

I'm crazy about her.

我超喜欢她。

Ross

And she feels the same way?

她也喜欢你？

Joey

I think so.

应该是。

Ross

Well, then, maybe it's time we all moved on.

那我们都该往前看了。

Joey

Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.

可你心里还是不好受。

Ross

No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?

我想变好，我会好的。再说我还有查理呢。天呐，我和查理还在一起吧？她没看到我跳舞的样子吧？

Joey

No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?

没有，就我看到了。你确定吗？

Ross

Yeah, I'm sure.

嗯，确定。

Joey

And we're okay?

我们没事了？

(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)

（罗斯笑着伸手想击掌，忘了手被烫伤了，乔伊一握住他的手，他疼得倒抽一口气。）

ENDING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Monica

Hey, Phoebs

嘿，菲比。

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Uhm, we just wanna give you a heads-up. Bill and Colleen hate us.

跟你说个事，比尔和科琳讨厌我们了。

Chandler

Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.

欧文不知道自己是领养的，莫妮卡告诉他了。

Monica

What?

明明是你！

Phoebe

Still, he had to find out sometime.

反正他早晚都会知道的。

Chandler

Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?

话是这么说，但要是有人告诉三胞胎是你生的他们，你乐意吗？

(The triplets stare at him.)

（三胞胎盯着他看。）

Chandler

I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.)

我去告诉艾玛她是意外怀上的。（跑开。）

END

剧终