The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss

Monica

Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)

噢，你打乒乓球把迈克打得落花流水的样子也太迷人了。要不要……？（手指在钱德勒胸口划来划去）

Chandler

You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.

我倒是想，就是有点累了。

Monica

I'll put a pillowcase over my head.

我用枕套把头套住。

Chandler

You're on!

那来吧！

(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)

（两人正要准备，菲比从罗斯房间的门走了进来）

Phoebe

Hey!

嗨！

Monica

What's up?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, okay, Mike's taking a shower, which by the way there's no law against. And then we're gonna grab some food, so if you want...

是这样，迈克在洗澡，顺便说下，这又不犯法。洗完我们就去吃点东西，你们要是想去的话……

(there's a door slamming in Ross's room, and some indistinct murmuring)

（罗斯房间传来关门声，还有模糊的低语声）

Ross

... finally...

……总算……

Phoebe

Is that Ross?

是罗斯吗？

Monica

Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.

是啊，这破墙什么声音都挡不住。

Phoebe

Sounds like he's with someone.

听起来他身边有人。

Chandler

He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.

也可能是一个人。今早我听见他做俯卧撑，做完还跟自己的三头肌说话呢。

Monica

Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right. You know I hear someone else in there with him.

等一下，菲比说得好像没错。我听见里面还有别人。

(they all put their ear against the wall to be able to hear what's being said. We move to Ross's room where he and Charlie are kissing.)

（三人都把耳朵贴到墙上偷听。镜头转到罗斯的房间，他正和查理接吻。）

Charlie

Ooh... Dr. Geller!

哦……盖勒博士！

Ross

God, you're amazing... I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.

天呐，你太棒了……我都没让你这么叫我。

Monica

Oh my God, that's Charlie!

我的天，是查理！

Chandler

She's cheating on Joey with Ross!

她背着乔伊跟罗斯好上了！

Phoebe

Oh that tart... floozy... giant...

哦，这个水性杨花的……轻浮的……大块头……

Monica

I'm not sure about this.

我这么说不太好吧。

Phoebe

Yeah, you're right. This is none of our business.

你说得对，这跟我们没关系。

Monica

No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!

我是说这么偷听不太好。谁给我拿个杯子来！

Phoebe

Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.

我才不这么做呢，好吗？我不会偷听朋友说话的。

Rachel

(through wall) Ooh... I love Barbados!

（透过墙传来声音）哦……我爱巴巴多斯！

(Phoebe starts to listen at the other wall, where Rachel's room is. There, Joey and Rachel are kissing.)

（菲比立刻凑到另一边墙偷听，那边是瑞秋的房间，乔伊正和瑞秋接吻。）

Joey

Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel!

哦……我不敢相信我在吻你。我在吻瑞秋啊！

Rachel

I know, I'm her!

我知道，我就是瑞秋本人！

(they start to kiss again, and Phoebe turns to Chandler and Monica)

（两人再次接吻，菲比转身对着钱德勒和莫妮卡）

Phoebe

(whispering) Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!!!

（小声说）瑞秋和乔伊！是瑞秋和乔伊！！！

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Get over here!

快过来！

(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡赶紧冲到另一边墙）

Rachel

ooh...

哦……

Chandler

Wow!

哇！

Monica

(in her Monica-excited-way... TOO LOUD!) Oh my God, I love how thin these walls are!

（兴奋得大声喊）我的天，这墙也太薄了吧，太爽了！

(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)

（隔壁房间里，乔伊、瑞秋、罗斯和查理停下接吻，疑惑地听着喊声。过了一会儿，他们继续接吻。镜头回到钱德勒和莫妮卡的房间，莫妮卡嘴里被钱德勒塞了几缕头发。）

Monica

(muffled) Thank you.

（含糊不清）谢谢。

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

(Rachel and Joey's)

（瑞秋和乔伊的房间）

Rachel

Hey, you know, before you said that nothing could happen between us? What changed?

嘿，你之前说我们之间不可能有什么，怎么突然改主意了？

Joey

Well, I only said that because of Ross, you know. Then I saw him kissing Charlie...

之前那么说都是因为罗斯。后来我看见他在吻查理……

Rachel

What? Ross and Charlie? (Joey nods) Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh? Ah, who am I to talk?

什么？罗斯和查理？（乔伊点头）哇！她把咱们这群人都撩了个遍啊，是吧？唉，我也没资格说别人。

(Chandler and Monica's)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡的房间）

Monica

I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?

简直不敢相信，瑞秋和乔伊？

Chandler

How about the dinosaur twins in the other room? No-one is manning that wall!

那隔壁那对恐龙二人组呢？没人盯着那面墙了！

Monica

I'm on it!

我来盯！

Chandler

Anything?

听到什么了吗？

Monica

I think I hear curtains closing...

我好像听到拉窗帘的声音……

Phoebe

We've got shoes being kicked off over here.

这边听到踢鞋子的声音了。

Monica

Bedsprings, unmistakable!

弹簧床的声音，绝对没错！

Chandler

You do realise that's your brother?

你别忘了那是你亲哥？

Monica

Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.

你不说我都忘了。快换个人来！（钱德勒打了个响指，菲比跑到另一边墙，莫妮卡回到钱德勒这边）等一下……罗斯和查理、乔伊和瑞秋、菲比和迈克！只有我们俩，来的时候是一对，走的时候还是一对。

Chandler

That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.

才不是。我跟莫妮卡一起来，结果要跟怪人阿尔走了。

Monica

Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes. Tomorrow morning, before we leave, I'm going to the salon.

够了，别拿我头发开玩笑了。明天早上走之前，我要去发廊。

Chandler

Okay Buckwheat!

好的，荞麦头！

Phoebe

You gotta hear this, it's great... It's like free porn! (Chandler eagerly rushes over)

你们快来听，太精彩了……简直是免费的小电影！（钱德勒立刻冲了过去）

(Ross and Charlie's)

（罗斯和查理的房间）

Ross

Weh...sigh

唉……（叹气）

Charlie

uhm... Is everything okay?

嗯……没事吧？

Ross

Yeah, It's just... I don't think I can do this...

没事，就是……我觉得不能这么做……

Charlie

Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...

哦……是担心床单不干净吗？我也看过新闻报道，说有红外线什么的……我可以……

Ross

No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.

不是，不是！（两人挪到床边坐下）听着，我得跟乔伊谈谈。你们才刚分手，我们要是再进一步，我得确认他不介意。

Charlie

I uhm... I completely understand.

我……我完全理解。

Ross

Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.

好，我去找他……（身体微微僵硬，低头）我得先……先缓一下才能……你懂的。（做出要起身的动作，两人坐着等了一会儿）外婆……外婆……外婆……（努力集中精神）好了，我晚点再找你。

Charlie

Okay...

好的……

(Chandler and Monica's, all three of them are listening at the wall to Ross and Charlie's)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡的房间，三人都贴着墙偷听罗斯和查理的对话）

Phoebe

That's the door. He's gone...

开门声，他走了……

Chandler

And she's... turning on the TV... and watching... Miss Congeniality!

她打开电视了……在看《选美俏卧底》！

Monica

Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well!

亲爱的，隔墙都听得这么清楚，你也太关注了吧！

(They are still listening at the wall, when Ross enters their room)

（三人还在偷听，罗斯走进了他们的房间）

Ross

Hey, what are you guys doing?

嘿，你们在干嘛？

Phoebe

Oh, we're just... we're sad to go so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel. (hugs the wall) I love you... Paradise Hotel, Golf resort and Spa... (she walks away from the wall)

我们就是……要走了有点难过，跟这家酒店告个别。（抱着墙）我爱你……天堂酒店高尔夫水疗度假村……（从墙边走开）

Monica

(also hugs the wall) Yeah, we had a great time, thank you! (walks to Phoebe)

（也抱着墙）是啊，玩得很开心，谢谢！（走到菲比身边）

Chandler

(caresses the wall with his finger) Bye!

（手指轻抚墙面）再见！

Ross

Okay, uhm... Hey, you guys seen Joey anywhere?

好吧，嗯……你们看见乔伊了吗？

Chandler

He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend Charlie. That's the situation as we know it... (walks to Phoebe and Monica)

估计在他房间，跟他现任女友查理在一起呢。我们知道的情况就是这样……（走到菲比和莫妮卡身边）

Ross

Well, if you see him could you please tell him I'm looking for him?

那你们要是见到他，麻烦告诉他我在找他？

Chandler

You got it!

没问题！

Ross

Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)

谢了！（走出房间，也抱了抱墙）谢谢你！（关门）

Monica

Other wall, people! Other wall!

另一边墙，快！另一边！

(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)

（三人冲到瑞秋和乔伊房间的墙边，镜头转到那边）

Ross

(knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)

（敲门）瑞秋，在吗？（乔伊和瑞秋赶紧从床上起来）

Joey

Oh my God, it's Ross. What are we gonna do?

天呐，是罗斯。怎么办？

Rachel

Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!

冷静，冷静。他只知道我们在一起待着，对吧？自然一点。（乔伊立刻立正站好，挺胸抬头，双手贴在身侧，噘着嘴看天花板）这哪叫自然！

Joey

No idea what it means.

我不知道那啥意思。

Rachel

Oh... okay, just hide!

唉……赶紧躲起来！

Ross

(knocks) Rach?

（敲门）瑞秋？

Rachel

Coming! Try under the bed, try under the bed!

来了！试试床底下，快试试床底下！

(When Rachel starts to look under the bed if Joey would fit under there, Chandler opens the door inbetween the rooms, grabs Joey by his shirt and drags him to his room, and closes the door again)

（瑞秋正弯腰看乔伊能不能钻到床底，钱德勒打开两个房间之间的门，一把抓住乔伊的衣服把他拽到自己房间，又关上了门）

Rachel

There's no room under the bed. (looks around because she can't find Joey anymore)

床底下塞不下。（四处看，发现乔伊不见了）

Ross

Is everything okay?

没事吧？

Rachel

Yeah... (still looking to see where Joey went, and opens the door)

没事……（还在找乔伊，打开了房门）

Ross

Hey.

嗨。

Rachel

Hi...

嗨……

Ross

You know where Joey is?

知道乔伊在哪吗？

Rachel

...I really don't... (looks around again)

……真不知道……（又四处看）

Ross

Can I talk to you for a minute?

能跟你聊几句吗？

Rachel

Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)

当然……（往走廊里看乔伊在不在）

(Monica and Chandler's room. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler have their ears pressed against the wall, and Joey looks at them)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡的房间，菲比、莫妮卡和钱德勒贴着墙偷听，乔伊看着他们）

Joey

I don't believe this... Have you guys been...

真不敢相信……你们一直在……

Phoebe

Shhh... This is the listening side of the wall.

嘘……这边是偷听的好位置。

(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)

（乔伊也想偷听，凑到带大镜子的门边，看着镜子里的自己犹豫了一下，还是把耳朵贴了上去。镜头转回瑞秋的房间）

Ross

And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.

然后她跟我说她和乔伊分手了，一部分原因是她对我有感觉。

Rachel

(clearly not listening and still trying to find out where Joey went) Uh-huh... right... yeah...

（明显没在听，还在找乔伊）嗯……对……是啊……

Ross

And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.

我从见到查理那天起，就想约她了。

Rachel

(still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you.

（还在找）嗯，我知道……我知道你挺不容易的。

Ross

Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?

反正一来二去的……不知不觉我们就接吻了。你说乔伊会不会特别生气？

Rachel

(now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.

（抬头看天花板）这不好说，罗斯，真不好说。

Ross

You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.

我得去找他了，他肯定就在附近。

Rachel

You would think!

可不是嘛！

(Ross leaves the room)

（罗斯离开房间）

Rachel

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

Is he gone?

他走了？

Rachel

(still can't find him) How are you doing this?

（还是找不到）你躲哪儿去了？

(Joey now enters the room through the door, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe are following him.)

（乔伊从门口走进来，莫妮卡、钱德勒和菲比跟在后面）

Joey

Pssst...

嘘……

Rachel

How... wha... Hey! What are you... What is this? Have you guys been listening this entire time?

你怎么……嘿！你们这是……怎么回事？你们一直在偷听吗？

Monica, Chandler and Phoebe: YE-AH!

对！

Phoebe

Now, what is this?

你们俩又怎么回事？

Rachel

Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!

我们怎么回事？就是接了十分钟吻，现在跟朋友聊这事，感觉跟六年级小孩似的！

Phoebe

Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?

可别……你们想过这事会多复杂吗？罗斯怎么办？

Joey

Well, he's with Charlie now.

他现在跟查理在一起了。

Monica

Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?

话是这么说，但他想在和查理正式在一起前跟你聊聊。作为朋友，你们不觉得也该跟他说一声吗？

Joey

(long pause and he twitches a bit) You're a pain in my ass, Geller!

（沉默片刻，身体微微僵硬）盖勒家的人真讨厌！

Rachel

All right, look you guys... Look, we appreciate all the advice, but this is between Joey and me and I think we can handle it...

好了，听着……谢谢你们的建议，但这是我和乔伊的事，我们自己能处理……

Chandler

Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?

行，我们回去了，但你们能答应我们一件事吗？为了关心你们的人？

Rachel

Sure...

当然……

Chandler

Enunciate!

说清楚点！

Rachel

Get out!

出去！

(They leave and Rachel locks the door.)

（三人离开，瑞秋锁上门）

Rachel

Are they right?

他们说得对吗？

Joey

Probably, yeah... I mean, maybe we should... hold off until we talk to Ross.

可能吧……或许我们该……等跟罗斯说清楚再说。

Rachel

Yeah... Yeah, we can wait, we don't have to do anything tonight.

对……我们可以等，今晚先不冲动。

Joey

Yeah, I think that'd be best... So, so I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off...

嗯，这样最好……那我……我先走了……

Rachel

(Joey walks to the door) Although...

（乔伊走到门口）不过嘛……

Joey

(turns around very fast) I like although!

（立刻转身）我喜欢“不过”！

Rachel

I mean, you know... Ross and I haven't dated in like... six years...

我是说，我和罗斯都六年没约会了……

Joey

Six years? Wow... It's almost as long as highschool...

六年？哇……跟高中时间差不多了……

Rachel

Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.

而且他现在跟查理在一起了。

Joey

Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.

可不是！他才不会想你呢。

Rachel

No...

是啊……

Joey

I'm thinking about you...

我在想你……

Rachel

Yeah...

嗯……

Joey

Let's forget about Ross...

别想罗斯了……

Rachel

Forgotten.

早就忘了。

(They want to kiss, but just before their lips touch, Rachel pulls back quickly, gasping)

（两人正要接吻，嘴唇快要碰到时，瑞秋猛地后退，倒吸一口气）

Joey

What's wrong?

怎么了？

Rachel

Nothing...

没事……

Joey's voice, but she sees Ross: Seriously... What is it?

（瑞秋眼前浮现出罗斯的样子，听到乔伊的声音）真的……怎么了？

Rachel

Nothing... It's really... It's nothing... Come here, come here...

没事……真的没事……过来，过来……

(again, just before their lips touch, she pulls back, gasping)

（再次靠近，嘴唇快碰到时，她又后退，倒吸一口气）

Joey's voice/Ross

What's wrong?

乔伊/罗斯的声音：怎么了？

Rachel

Sorry, I just uhm... I can't seem to get Ross out of my head...

抱歉，我就是……脑子里老是想着罗斯……

Joey

Well, maybe I can help. (he grabs her head passionately, closes his eyes and kisses... Ross in Rachel's dress! He realises it too late, and when he does, pushes Ross's/Rachel's head away)

那我帮你忘掉。（深情地捧住她的头，闭眼吻下去……结果吻到了穿着瑞秋衣服的罗斯！反应过来时已经晚了，赶紧推开）

Rachel/Ross

Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)

瑞秋/罗斯：哦，你的嘴唇好软……再来一次……（又凑过来想吻，乔伊再次推开）

Joey

Yeah... we really need to talk to Ross...

嗯……我们真的得跟罗斯谈谈了……

Both

Yeah

对

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

You guys ready to go?

准备好出发了吗？

Chandler

Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.

还没。莫妮卡还在发廊，我快收拾完了。

Ross

Dude! You're not taking your Bible?

兄弟！你不带你的圣经吗？

Chandler

You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?

出门不该带这个。而且这只是新约，带了有啥用？

Ross

Learn about Jesus...

了解耶稣啊……

(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)

（查理也走进房间，钱德勒走向浴室）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Charlie

So, did you talk to Joey?

你跟乔伊谈了吗？

Ross

Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.

没……没找到他。等上飞机再跟他说吧。

Charlie

Yeah, sounds like a good idea... Dr. Geller!

好主意……盖勒博士！

Ross

Stop it!

别闹了！

Charlie

PHD

博士大人

Ross

You're filthy!

你真坏！

(Phoebe enters)

（菲比走进来）

Phoebe

Hey, have you guys seen Monica?

嘿，你们看见莫妮卡了吗？

Ross

Uh, actually I think she went to the salon.

嗯，她去发廊了。

Phoebe

Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...

是啊，她确实去了……

(Monica enters, with her hair braided and little shells at the end)

（莫妮卡走进来，头发编成辫子，发尾挂着小贝壳）

Monica

Check it out!

快看！

Phoebe

Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!

谁今天要走运了？钱德勒！

(Chandler enters from the bathroom)

（钱德勒从浴室出来）

Chandler

Hey!... aaaaaahhhh!

嘿！……啊啊啊啊！

Monica

What do you think?

好看吗？

Chandler

I think.... I think I can see your scalp.

我觉得……我能看见你的头皮。

Monica

Don't you just love it?

你不觉得超好看吗？

Ross

Ye... Yeah... Yeah... You got shellfish in your head.

好……好看……你头上挂贝壳饰品呢。

Charlie

It's so... something... You go girlfriend!

太……特别了……加油姐妹！

Ross

You've never said that in your life, have you?

你这辈子从没说过这话吧？

Charlie

Not once.

一次都没有。

Ross

I thought so.

我就知道。

Monica

And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)

你听这个……（晃了晃身体，贝壳叮当作响）

Chandler

What d'ya know... It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.

还真不错……视觉和听觉双重享受。

Joey

Whoo, whoo. Wow, it's uhm... kinda weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.

哇，那个……跟查理分手后还坐她旁边，有点尴尬啊。

Chandler

Yeah, it's almost if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.

可不是，巴巴多斯航空压根不管你那点感情纠葛。

Joey

Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?

有人愿意跟我换个位置，去陪查理坐吗？

Ross

Oh, I uh, I mean, I... dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.

我……兄弟，我整个会议都跟查理待在一起了。

Joey

I understand...

我懂……

Ross

No, I'll do it. (he quickly grabs Joey's boarding pass and gives Joey his one.)

我换吧。（一把抢过乔伊的登机牌，把自己的给了乔伊）

Chandler

Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there.

我也想换，我不想跟那边那个艾伦·艾弗森坐一起。

(Switch to Phoebe and Mike, who are kissing)

（镜头转到菲比和迈克，两人正在接吻）

Phoebe

Uhm... You know, once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign... you feel free to roam about my cabin...

嗯……等飞机升空，机长关掉系安全带提示灯后……你可以随意在我的座位旁走动哦……

Mike

You should be careful when checking your overhead bins, 'cause items may shift during...

检查头顶行李架时要小心，飞行过程中物品可能会滑落……

Phoebe

Aaah... you're not good at this...

唉……你真不擅长调情……

Mike

You don't have to go home tonight, do you?

你今晚不用回家吧？

Phoebe

No, I think I can come over. It's Saturday, right?

不用，我可以去你家。今天周六，对吧？

Mike

Oh...

哦……

Phoebe

What?

怎么了？

Mike

Uhm... I can't do anything tonight.

嗯……我今晚不行。

Phoebe

Why not?

为什么？

Mike

I have a date.

我有约会。

Phoebe

You have a... You have a date? With who?

你有……约会？跟谁？

Mike

Oh, it's... my girlfriend.

我女朋友。

Phoebe

(lets go of his hand) You have... have a girlfriend?

（松开他的手）你……有女朋友了？

Mike

Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.

嗯……我们分手后，我就跟别人在一起了。

Phoebe

For how long?

多久了？

Mike

Three months.

三个月。

Phoebe

Three months? Okay... This is probably none of my business, but uhm, how long do you think you're gonna keep seeing her?

三个月？好吧……可能不关我的事，但你打算跟她处多久？

Mike

I'll tell her that it's over tonight at dinner. I promise.

今晚吃饭时我就跟她分手，我保证。

Phoebe

Oh, okay... good. You do that. And then when you get home, maybe there'll be a special delivery package waiting for you.

好……去吧。等你回家，说不定有个特别快递等着你。

Mike

Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...

我会签收，拆开包装，拿出里面的东西……

Phoebe

You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there.

别废话了，我们要做爱，就这么定了。

(cut to Charlie and Ross)

（镜头转到查理和罗斯）

Ross

Right, I'm gonna go talk to Joey. I think this is the right time. He's always in a good mood after the flight attendant says "duty free".

我去找乔伊谈谈，现在时机正好。空姐一说“免税购物”，他心情准好。

Charlie

Okay... Good luck.

好……祝你好运。

(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)

（罗斯起身朝瑞秋示意，镜头转到乔伊和瑞秋）

Rachel

Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.

罗斯过来了，现在跟他说正好。

Joey

I guess so. I'm just... really nervous.

应该是吧，我就是……好紧张。

Rachel

Okay, well keep in mind that by the time you're done, they'll probably be serving dinner.

别紧张，等你说完，估计就该上晚餐了。

Joey

Ooh...

哦……

Rachel

Still nervous?

还紧张？

Joey

I'm gonna get the lasagna.

我要吃千层面。

Ross

Hey Rach...

嘿，瑞秋……

Rachel

Yeah!

嗯！

Ross

Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?

介意我坐一会儿吗？

Rachel

Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)

当然！（朝乔伊口型说“加油”，起身让座）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.

我……有点事要跟你说，关于查理的。

Joey

Yeah?

嗯？

Ross

Okay, last night after you guys broke up... so sorry to hear about that, by the way... Well, Charlie and I were talking, and..., well...

昨晚你们分手后……顺便说下，很遗憾听到你们分手……查理和我聊了聊，然后……

Joey

You kissed.

你们接吻了。

Ross

Wha... (gasps) What? What would give you that idea?

什……（震惊）什么？你怎么知道？

Joey

I saw you.

我看见了。

Ross

Yeah, we kissed, but... nothing else... nothing else happened, okay.

是，我们接吻了，但……没别的了，就只是接吻。

Joey

Ross, Ross, Ross... It's okay.

罗斯，没事的。

Ross

What?

什么？

Joey

It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.

我完全理解，你们俩比我跟她合适多了。我希望你幸福。

Ross

Are you serious?

真的吗？

Joey

Yeah... Now I have something...

嗯……我也有事跟你说……

Ross

I am speachless... I mean the fact that you would put my happiness first like that. I mean, you're an incredible friend, you know that?

我太感动了……你居然把我的幸福放在第一位，你真是我最好的朋友。

Joey

Oh... uh... look... before you...

呃……别夸了……

Ross

No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous...

我说真的，你忠诚、无私、大方……

Joey

I am those things, yeah.

没错，我就是这样。

Ross

You know what? I know Chandler longer, so I always think of him as my best friend, but now... I may have to rethink some stuff...

说实话，我跟钱德勒认识更久，一直把他当最好的朋友，但现在……我得重新考虑一下了……

Joey

Dude!

兄弟！

Ross

Hey, if there is ever, anything I can do for you...

以后有任何事，我都帮你……

Joey

I can't think of anything.

没什么事。

(They both hug, and Rachel, who was in the back of the plane, sees this and smiles.)

（两人拥抱，坐在飞机后排的瑞秋看到，笑了）

Ross

Thanks!

谢了！

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

(Ross walks to the back of the plane, where Rachel is.)

（罗斯走到后排瑞秋身边）

Rachel

So hi!

嗨！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

So you eh, you talked to Joey?

跟乔伊聊了？

Ross

Ah, yeah. We had a really good talk.

嗯，聊得特别好。

Rachel

Oh! That's great!

太好了！

Ross

Yeah!

可不是！

Rachel

Oh, so everything's okay?

那没事了？

Ross

Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy.

没事，特别好，他人太好了。

Rachel

Ah... Well, obviously I think so too.

嗯……我也这么觉得。

Ross

Well, I'm so excited about this.

我太开心了。

Rachel

Really? Excited?

真的？开心？

Ross

Are you kidding? I have had some very dirty dreams about this...

你开玩笑吧？我都梦到好几次了……

Rachel

Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?

恶心！（走回乔伊身边，乔伊还沉浸在罗斯的夸奖里，瑞秋拍了他一下）你没告诉他，对吧？

Joey

I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.

我不忍心啊，他把我夸得天花乱坠，我怕他生气了又收回去。我都快取代钱德勒的位置了。

Rachel

Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.

天呐！算了，乔伊，回去我跟他说。

Joey

Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that.

谢了，太感谢了。

(Chandler walks by and Joey lets out an evil "muhahaho".)

（钱德勒路过，乔伊得意地坏笑）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Phoebe

Hi, Mike's place.

你好，这里是迈克家。

Mike

Hey, it's Mike.

嗨，是我。

Phoebe

Ooh, that was fast.

这么快？

Mike

Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...

她还没来，我打算直接走，打电话跟她分手……

Phoebe

Yeah, you can't do that! Oh, come on Mike, strap on a pair.Why don't you just tell her that we got back together. You know, women appreciate honesty. We also appreciate gentle spanking once in a while. Just F.Y.I.

不行！迈克，拿出点男人样！直接跟她说我们复合了，女人欣赏诚实，偶尔还喜欢被温柔打屁股，顺便提醒你。

Mike

One more thing... There... might be a picture of Precious on my coffee table.

还有件事……我咖啡桌上可能放着普雷舍丝的照片。

Phoebe

Her name is Precious? Is she a purebreed or did you pick her up at the pound?

她叫普雷舍丝？纯种的还是收容所捡的？

Mike

Anyway, I just wanna give you a heads up.

反正先跟你说一声。

Phoebe

Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)

好，她要是生气了，就挠挠她肚子，给她点吃的。（笑着挂了电话）

(there's knocking on the door which Phoebe opens)

（有人敲门，菲比开门）

Precious

Hi, I'm Precious, who are you?

你好，我是普雷舍丝，你是谁？

Phoebe

(stunned) I... I'm Phoebe.

（愣住）我……我是菲比。

Precious

Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?

菲比？迈克的前女友菲比，他一生的挚爱？就是你？

Phoebe

Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)

幸会。（伸手和她握手）

Monica

Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!

真想快点让同事看到……（晃头发让贝壳响）哎哟！

Chandler

You go back to work tomorrow night, right?

你明晚就要上班了吧？

Monica

Yeah!

对！

Chandler

So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?

你想让别人看到，那今晚就不拆了？

Monica

Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)

拆了就没法这么玩了。（把钱德勒推到沙发上，用头发和贝壳蹭他胸口）喜欢吗？（又蹭了蹭，哼着歌）

Chandler

What are you singing?

你唱的啥？

Monica

It's "Bolero" from "10".

《十全十美》里的波莱罗舞曲。

Chandler

It's "Ride of the Valkyries" from "Apocalypse Now"... See, here's the thing: The corn rose were really a solution to your frizzy hair problem. And now that we're home, we don't have that problem anymore, so if you think about it... I hate them!

是《现代启示录》里的《女武神骑行》……说实话，玉米须发型能解决你头发毛躁的问题，现在回家了，问题没了，所以……我讨厌这贝壳！

Monica

You what? You said you liked them.

什么？你之前说喜欢的。

Chandler

Did I? Let's refresh. I believe what I said was that I could see your scalp.

我说过吗？我记得我说的是能看见你头皮。

Monica

Fine, so you don't like them. Everybody else does.

好吧，你不喜欢就算了，别人都喜欢。

Chandler

Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.

再想想……瑞秋说她从没注意过你头骨形状，乔伊压根没看出你头发有变化。

Monica

You know what? I don't care. I like it like this, and I'm gonna keep it. You're just jealous because your hair can't do this... (and she shakes her head more violently) OUCH!

我不管，我就喜欢，就要留着。你就是嫉妒你头发做不到……（使劲晃头）哎哟！

Chandler

Hit yourself in the tooth?

磕到牙了？

Monica

And the eye!

还有眼睛！

Ross

(gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)

（惊喜）嗨……艾玛来了。天呐，好想你。（亲艾玛）艾玛，爸爸太想你了。跟格林外婆玩得开心吗？她又给你抗抑郁药当拨浪鼓玩了？（看向瑞秋）

Rachel

That was one time, Ross, and they were only like 5 milligrams.

就一次，而且才5毫克。

Ross

Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.

艾玛，爸爸给你带礼物了，等着啊，乖。

Rachel

Aaah... Ross, actually there's something that I really need to talk to you about.

罗斯，我有件很重要的事跟你说。

Ross

(unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!

（拆行李）说吧！

Rachel

Okay, uhm... alright, here's the deal.

是这样的……

Ross

(gasps) OH NO!

（惊叫）糟了！

Rachel

What? What is it?

怎么了？

Ross

Oh, major shampoo explosion!

洗发水瓶漏了，全洒了！

Rachel

Uh, look Ross, this really isn't easy.

罗斯，我要说的事很重要。

Ross

Oh, it's all over everything. Why? Why me? (looks up)

到处都是，为什么偏偏是我？

Rachel

Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?

谁让你带了三百瓶洗发水？

Ross

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You were saying?

抱歉抱歉，你刚说啥？

Rachel

Well, yeah... Okay, look it's about me and...

是关于我和……

Ross

Oh, not another one! Oh my G... And this is moisturiser. It's even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

又漏了！是保湿霜，更难清理！为什么好人总倒霉？

Rachel

Wow! Well, clearly this is not a good time.

看来现在不是说的时候。

Ross

Duh, you think? (enters the kitchen)

可不是嘛！（走进厨房）

Phoebe

Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.

好，拜拜。迈克马上到，你以为在这见，他以为在餐厅，谁对谁错不重要，我先走了。

Precious

I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something?

不说清楚别想走，你们是不是复合了？

Phoebe

Alright... Susie, can I call you Susie?

好吧……苏西，我能叫你苏西吗？

Precious

My name is Precious.

我叫普雷舍丝。

Phoebe

Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.

我叫不出口。苏西，实话告诉你，我和迈克复合了，你们的关系到此为止，他很抱歉，祝你一切顺利。

Precious

I just can't believe this... Why?

我不敢相信……为什么？

Phoebe

Well, I don't...

我也不知道……

Precious

Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me?

他为什么这么对我？我哪里不好？

Phoebe

Nothing, there's nothing wrong with you.

你很好，一点问题都没有。

Precious

I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do now?

我现在该怎么办？

Phoebe

Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.

振作点！有点尊严好不好！

(Precious starts crying)

（普雷舍丝哭了）

Phoebe

Okay, not a fan of the tough love.

好吧，硬的不行。

Precious

I just can't believe that Mike didn't give me any warning.

他居然一点预兆都没有。

Phoebe

But he didn't really know, you know. He wasn't planning on coming to Barbados and proposing to me...

他也没想到，他本来没打算去巴巴多斯跟我求婚……

Precious

He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)

他跟你求婚了？这是我最惨的生日。（又哭了）

Phoebe

Look, Precious... Mike's not worth this. You're an attractive, intelligent woman and let's face it, Mike's kind of a wang. I mean, he proposed to me while he was still seeing you... He was gonna break-up with you on your birthday? And, I don't like to kiss-and-tell, but he cheated on you a lot this weekend.

普雷舍丝，迈克不值得你这样。你漂亮又聪明，迈克就是个渣男。他跟你在一起时跟我求婚，还打算在你生日分手，这周末还出轨好几次。

Precious

Oh, my God, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't need him. I deserve to be treated with respect.

或许你说得对，我不需要他，我值得被尊重。

(Mike enters the apartment.)

（迈克走进公寓）

Precious

Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.

去死吧，迈克！你个懦夫、混蛋，下地狱去吧！

(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)

（扇了迈克一巴掌，迈克愣住，普雷舍丝离开，迈克看向菲比）

Phoebe

You're welcome!

不客气！

Chandler

Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?

老婆，你在里面好久了，没事吧？

Monica

Not really.

有点事。

(Chandler enters the bathroom, and Monica is standing there in a towel, with her hair stuck in the shower curtain.)

（钱德勒走进浴室，莫妮卡裹着毛巾，头发缠在浴帘上）

Monica

I have a problem.

我遇到麻烦了。

Chandler

Really? What happened?

怎么了？

Monica

Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.

我边跳边唱《No Woman, No Cry》，头发缠上了。

Chandler

You can't move at all?

动不了了？

Monica

Oh, well, I can move... (she moves back and forth the shower curtain rail, opening and closing the shower curtain with her hair as she goes)

能动……（来回晃，浴帘跟着头发一开一合）

Chandler

If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?

我帮你解开，你把玉米须发型拆了行吗？

Monica

(looking disappointed) I guess so...

（失望）好吧……

Chandler

(trying to untangle her) Some of these look a little frayed.

（帮她解头发）有些都磨毛了。

Monica

Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.

我试过用牙咬开。

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

So, did you err... did you tell Ross?

你跟罗斯说了吗？

Rachel

Well, I tried, but then he had a shampoo related emergency. So I guess now it's your turn again.

我想说，但他洗发水漏了，估计该你去了。

Joey

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)

不行不行……女人说比较容易，他生气了你就说“我不是故意的，对不起嘛”。（模仿女生娇滴滴的样子）

Rachel

Yeah, 'cause that's what we do.

我们才不会这么做。

Joey

Alright, alright, okay, uhm... How 'bout this, how about this? Tomorrow... tomorrow we'll both go and we'll tell him together.

好吧，那明天我们一起去说。

Rachel

Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't...

好，公平。但我们又不能……

Joey

I know, I know..., but that's okay. I mean, we can control ourselves, we're not animals.

我知道，但我们能控制住，又不是动物。

Rachel

No! Of course we can wait. Alright, so I guess that means good night then?

当然能等，晚安？

Joey

Yeah! Good night! (they give each other a small kiss on the mouth, and stare at each other for a while)

晚安！（轻轻吻了一下，对视片刻）

Rachel

Goo--ood night!

晚安！

Joey

Good night! (they give each other a kiss again, but this time it lasts longer)

晚安！（又吻了一下，这次久一点）

Rachel

Seriously, good night!

真的晚安了！

Joey

Stop saying good night.

别再说晚安了。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)

（两人热烈接吻，罗斯带着艾玛走进来。两人僵住，分开看着罗斯，罗斯一脸震惊。乔伊扯了扯衣服，瑞秋学着乔伊之前的样子，娇声说“对不起”）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Monica

Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...

看我从抽屉里找到什么……（钱德勒抬头看）你还说我永远不会戴这个。

Chandler

Now that I untangled you, how 'bout you doing a little something for me?

我刚帮你解开头发，你是不是该补偿我一下？

Monica

Sure, what do you have in mind?

好啊，想干嘛？

Chandler

I think you know.

你懂的。

Monica

Really? I don't really feel like it.

是吗？我不想。

Chandler

This is what I want to do.

我就想看这个。

Monica

Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much.

真不懂你为啥这么喜欢。

Chandler

(Picks up the "Miss Congeniality" DVD) She's an FBI agent, posing as a beauty contestant.

（拿起《选美俏卧底》DVD）她是FBI探员，假扮选美小姐。

THE END

全剧终