The One In Barbados

Joey

(entering) Hey! I'm all packed and ready to go!

（走进来）嗨！行囊备好，准备上路！

Ross

Oh, that's right! (to Emma) Daddy and uncle Joey are going on a trip today. We're going to a conference in Barbados, right?

哦，太好了！（对艾玛）爸爸和乔叔叔要去旅行。我们要去巴巴多斯参加会议，是不是？

Joey

Mmh-mmh.

嗯……

Ross

(to Emma) Can you say Barbados?

（对艾玛）说……巴-巴-多-斯。

Joey

Barbados!

巴巴多斯！

Ross

Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.

好的，知道吗，你们能去听我的演讲简直太棒了！给你们个惊喜，嗯……我托了些关系，弄到了整个会议的入场券！没错儿！（分发胸卡）有了这个宝贝，你们可以参加所有的古生物学演讲和研讨会。

Rachel

Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?

你有没有能让我们……远离他们的东西？

Chandler

Yeah Ross, I mean... we're excited to hear the speech but the rest of the time we're gonna wanna do, you know, "island's stuff".

罗斯，我们迫不及待要听你的演讲，可是其他的时间，我们想过些“岛上生活”。

Phoebe

I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures.

我想大卫会去听些其他的演讲。

Ross

Oh, right, because he's a scientist!

没错儿，他也是个科学家！

Phoebe

No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.

不，不，因为他在明斯克待了八年，如果太阳晒多了，他可能会死。

Ross

Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.

好的，我们要出发了，那么，明天见了！

Joey

All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.

上路了！和查莉五小时的飞行，喝几杯小酒，钻到毯子下做些“自然”事儿。

Ross

It's a blanket Joe, not a cloak of invisibility!

那只是个毯子，乔，不是隐身斗篷！

Opening credits

片头

Charlie

Wow! This place is beautiful!

哇！这儿真美！

Ross

(very excited) Look at all these paleontologists!!

（非常兴奋）看看这儿有多少古生物学家！！

Joey

I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)

没错儿，明天泳池边肯定会有不少面无血色的人！（一个女人朝他们走来）

Woman

Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!

天啊，真不敢相信你在这儿！

Joey

(to Charlie) I think I've been recognized, this happens all the time!

（对查莉）我肯定是被认出来了，每次都这样！

Woman

Doctor Geller, I'm such a huge fan!

盖勒博士，我可迷你了！

Joey

That... never happens...

这可……从没发生过……

Woman

I've been following your career for years, I-I can't wait for your keynote speech.

我关注您已经多年，我简直等不及要听你这次的报告了。

Ross

Wow! This is very flattering, uh...

哇！你可真会说话……

Woman

I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad)

能给我签个名吗。（递给他笔记本）

Ross

Uh, uh... Sure! Um... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)

呃……没问题！嗯……“亲爱的……”（接过笔记本）

Woman

Sarah.

萨拉。

Ross

"... Sarah. I dig you", Uh? "Doctor Ross Geller".

“……萨拉。我钻研你，嗯？“罗斯·盖勒博士”。

Sarah

Thank you so much!

非常感谢！

Ross

Yeah, oh and Sarah... I'd like to introduce you to my colleague, uh, Professor Wheeler, a-and this is Joey Tribbiani.

嗯，萨拉……给你介绍一下我的伙伴，惠勒教授，这位是乔伊·崔比阿尼。

Sarah

(to Joey) Are you a paleontologist?

（对乔伊）你也是古生物学者？

Joey

No, God, no! No, no no, I'm an actor. You'd probably recognize me from a little show called "The Days of Our Lives".

不！不！当然不是，我是个演员。如果你看过那部小电视剧《我们那生活》，你会认得我。

Ross

Dude, it's just "Days of Our Lives"... there's no the.

伙计，是《我们的生活》……没有“那”。

Joey

(thinking he's kidding) Ok, Ross! It's... It's fun, yeah! No, I-I play Doctor Drake Ramoray.

（以为他在开玩笑）没错！真有趣耶！不，我扮演德雷克·拉莫瑞大夫。

Sarah

I'm sorry, I don't own a TV.

抱歉，我没有电视机。

Joey

You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at??

你没有电视机？那你的家具摆放以什么为中心？

Monica

David, can you help me?! I'm trying to explain to Chandler how a plane stays in the air.

大卫，快来帮个忙？我在跟钱德解释为什么飞机会在天空中飞行。

David

Oh, certainly. That's a combination of Bernoulli's principle and Newton's third law of motion.

行。这遵循的是贝努利方程和牛顿第三运动定律。

Monica

(to Chandler) See?

（对钱德勒）明白？

Chandler

Yeah, that's the same as "it has something to do with wind".

是啊，听上去“好像跟风有点关系”。

Monica

Alright, I'm gonna go pick up a few things for the trip.

好吧，我要去收拾行李了。

Phoebe

Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.

哦，我也去。嗯，明天咱们一起打车去机场，还是我和迈克在那儿与你们会合？

(Everyone looks at her)

（所有人都看着她）

Phoebe

Mike?? Who's Mike?

迈克？？谁是迈克？

David

Mike is your ex... uh... boyfriend!

迈克是你前……男友！

Phoebe

That's right! Oh, yeah... Well, I've totally forgotten about him! AH! That's-That's... a blast from the past!

没错儿！唔……我都快把他给忘了！噢！那是……过眼云烟！

David

It's ok. Ho-honest mistake.

没事儿。诚实的错误。

Phoebe

Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!

这说明不了什么。我是说，莫妮卡一直管钱德叫理查！

Chandler

(upset) She does?

（沮丧）是吗？

Monica

(pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)

（掐她）赶紧走吧！！（她们出去）

(Outside the Central Perk)

（中央珀克咖啡馆外）

Monica

At least you took me down with you!

你竟拖我下水！

Phoebe

I'm sooo sorry!! I just... I keep thinking about Mike! I'm crazy about David, and we're having so much fun together. Why-Why do I miss Mike? That's-that's gonna go away, right?

真……不好意思！！我一直在想念迈克！我喜欢大卫，我们在一起很快乐。为什么我还会想迈克呢？会过去的，对吗？

Monica

I guess, in time.

总会过去的。

Phoebe

Yeah.

是啊。

Monica

I mean, my feelings for Richard are certainly gone.

我对理查已经完全没感觉了。

Phoebe

You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!

你刚又想了呢。钱德，你对钱德已经完全没感觉了！

David

(to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?

（对钱德勒）菲比还是对迈克恋恋不舍，对吧？

Chandler

I wouldn't read too much into it.

不予置评。

David

Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?

女朋友把你叫成了以前的男朋友，可不是件好事吧？

Chandler

David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.

大卫，别往下说了，我想我明白你的处境。我不善于给人出主意。如果你想要好的建议，去找罗斯，莫妮卡，或是……乔伊，如果你想了解顶尖比萨或者超爽小便的话。

David

Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...

抱歉，我只是……不知道自己能做些什么，菲比她……

Chandler

Seriously, we're gonna do this?

你真的想谈谈？

David

I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?

抱歉，我希望自己可以帮她忘了迈克。菲比为什么和迈克分手？

Chandler

Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?

因为他“太大了”。（注意到大卫没笑）对不起，我就是这样。他们分手是因为迈克并不想结婚。你是不是该让她知道你是想结婚的？

David

That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her!

对啊！太棒了！我要向她求婚！

Chandler

What?

什么？

David

Well, I was probably going to do it at some point.

我会找个适当的时机跟她求婚的。

Chandler

I didn't mean now...

我不是说现在……

David

Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.

为什么不？这太好了！（对着想象中的迈克）拜拜迈克，婚礼上见，小子！（停顿）可我们并不想邀请你……（对钱德勒）谢了，钱德，真的。

Chandler

Well, you're welcome! Glad I could help.

不谢！不谢！

David

(after a while) How do you think I should propose?

（过了一会儿）我应该求婚吗？

Chandler

David, I'm pretending to read here!!

大卫，我正装着读报呢！！

(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)

（试戴帽子，对着镜子自言自语）

Joey

Yeah! How you doin'? Yeah alright!

嗨，小姐……太飒了！

(Charlie comes out the bathroom)

（查莉从洗手间出来）

Joey

Hey, hey! You said you're gonna wear a thong, where's the thong?

嗨！你不是说要穿丁字裤吗，在哪儿呢？

Charlie

(laughing) I didn't mean a thong... I meant thongs...

（笑）不是，我说人字鞋……

Joey

You really should have been more clear about that!

你应该说明白点儿吗！

(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)

（有人敲门，乔伊去开门，罗斯在门外）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嗨！

Ross

(Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!

（兴奋）你绝对想不到，我刚在楼下看见谁了！

Joey

Oh! ah! eh... Britney Spears!?

哦！呃……小甜甜！？

Ross

Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!

她绝不会错过这种会议！（对查莉）我刚看见肯尼思·施瓦茨博士了！

Charlie

Oh my God! Did you talk to him?

天啊！你和他说话了吗？

Ross

Yeah... what am I going to say to Kenneth Schwartz?

呃……我要和他说什么？

Joey

You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)

“肯尼，你怎么不是小甜甜？”

Ross

(to Charlie) Ready to go?

（对查莉）准备好了吗？

Charlie

Yeah!

是的！

Joey

Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?

什……？你们要出去？我以为你会陪我。

Charlie

Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.

不行……有一天的研究会要参加，我还答应观看他的演讲。

Ross

Yeah.

是的。

Charlie

But maybe we can have dinner later? On the balcony? Will be romantic.

我们可以一起吃晚饭？在阳台上？多浪漫。

Joey

(smiling) Will you wear a thong?

（笑）你会穿丁字裤？

Charlie

I will if you will.

你要穿我就穿。

Joey

Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!

说定了，有点怪不是吗。

Ross

(a little embarassed by their conversation) I'm good, I have dinner plans (moves away from them).

（有点尴尬）没事儿，我晚餐有伴儿了。

Charlie

So you'll be ok?

你一个人没事吧？

Joey

Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...

当然。有很多事情可以做呢，我要去海滩，游游泳……

Ross

Uh, Joe, have you looked outside?

乔，你没看见吗？

Joey

No, why?

没，怎么？

(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)

（罗斯走到窗边拉开窗帘，外面下着雨）

Joey

Oh man!

天！

Charlie

There's an indoor pool, you can swim there! (Ross agrees)

你可以在室内泳池游！（罗斯同意）

Joey

I wasn't gonna swim, I was gonna dig a hole! (removes a small plastic spade used by children to play on the beach from his backpack)

我没想去游泳，我想去挖洞！（从背包里拿出儿童沙滩小铲子）

Monica

Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.

哇！迈克的事太有趣了，真不知道菲比和大卫会怎么发展。

Chandler

(smiling cheekily) I do! Want a hint? huh? "I do" (Monica looks confused, so Chandler repeats) "I do".

（得意地笑）我愿意！小提示？“我愿意”。（莫妮卡困惑，钱德勒重复）“我愿意”。

Monica

Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.

这有点像个文字游戏，因为你高兴得容光焕发。

Chandler

David is going to propose to Phoebe.

大卫要向菲比求婚。

Monica

What? (looks very shocked) Why?

什么？（震惊）为什么？

Chandler

Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.

因-为，我们研究了打败迈克的方法，我跟他说菲比想结婚。

Monica

Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?

钱德勒，我早就跟你说过了，不许帮人瞎出主意！你就不能随便开个玩笑吗？

Chandler

I did! A penis one! Look, just so I know, what was so wrong about what I said?

我开了！用那话儿开玩笑！那你说，我做错什么了？

Monica

They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.

他们才在一起没几天，菲比还想着迈克呢！她会说“不”，这会伤了大卫的心，再让他们复合就难了，菲比又会孤老一生的！

Chandler

Man, that's some bad advice!

这可真不是什么好建议！

(Joey spots them and walks towards them)

（乔伊看见他们，走过去）

Joey

Oh! Hey! Thank God you guys are here!

嗨！感谢上帝你们终于来了！

Rachel

Hey! Hey what's going on?

嘿！玩得怎么样？

Joey

Everything is upside down here! It rains all day long, nobody watches tv and Ross is famous!

乱作一团！下了一天的雨，没人看电视，而且罗斯很出名儿！

(Rachel turns around and sees Chandler and Monica arriving)

（瑞秋转身看见钱德勒和莫妮卡到达）

Rachel

Alright, I don't wanna alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed!

我不是吓唬人，到这儿后莫妮卡的头发比以前多了两倍！

(Monica and Chandler reach the group)

（莫妮卡和钱德勒走到大家跟前）

Monica

Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!

没错儿！当我呆在湿度大的地方，我的身体会有些异常！

Chandler

That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross!

这就是我们的蜜月照片看起来像是我和戴安娜-罗斯的原因！

Joey

Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)

来吧，我领你们去登记。（乔伊、钱德勒和大卫离开）

Monica

(to Chandler) Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a King size bed!

（对钱德勒）亲爱的，去确定一下咱们的大床！

Phoebe

(shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!

（朝大卫喊）大卫，咱们也要一个！看看有没有心型的！天花板要有镜子！

Monica

(shouts to Chandler) And make sure our room isn't next to theirs (points to Phoebe).

（朝钱德勒喊）咱们决不挨着他们。（指菲比）

Rachel

Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you know it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.

你们都有人陪，真羡慕。多浪漫的地方。我只是希望也能和谁在一起……（看着在登记台的乔伊）

Phoebe

Not Joey.

不是乔伊吧。

Rachel

Not Joey, no, I was just lusting after Chandler.

不是乔伊，当然，我在想钱德。

Monica

Yeah, right!

没问题！

David

So, um... I'm proposing to Phoebe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)

嗯……我今晚要向菲比求婚。（从口袋拿出戒指盒打开给钱德勒看）

Chandler

Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!

今晚？！订婚戒指是不是应该有钻石？噢，看见了！

David

Yeah, well, being a failed scientist doesn't pay quite as well as you might think. That's um... one seventieth of a karat. And the clarity is um... is quite poor.

失败的科学家挣的可没你想的那么多。七十分之一克拉……透明度……不太高。

Chandler

(slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)

（拍他肩膀）不错！（走向莫妮卡）

Chandler

Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)

莫妮卡，来说句话？（把她从菲比和瑞秋身边拉开）

Monica

Ok!

好！

Chandler

David is going to propose to Phoebe tonight!

大卫今晚要向菲比求婚！

Monica

See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?

看见你建议的结果了吧？你建议他别去了吗？

Chandler

That would be advice!!

那可是个建议！！

Monica

Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe?

好吧。我来解决。（走向正在和瑞秋说话的菲比）菲比？

Phoebe

Yeah?

嗯？

Monica

(looking very serious) I need to talk to you.

（神情严肃）跟你说件事。

Phoebe

Are you leaving "The Supremes"? (Monica and Phoebe go to one side)

你要放弃“超级”大床？（莫妮卡和菲比走到一边）

Monica

Ok, my husband just gave your boyfriend some very bad advice. Look, David is going to propose to you tonight.

我老公刚刚给你男友出了个馊主意。听着，大卫今晚要向你求婚。

Phoebe

Wow? Really? That's fantastic!

喔？真的吗？太棒了！

Monica

What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?

你是认真的？你想嫁给他？那……迈克呢？

Phoebe

Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!

“迈克，你愿意娶菲比……”（用手比划好像有人捂住她的嘴喊“不！不！”）这是每个女孩儿的梦想！

Monica

Do you really think marrying someone else is the right answer?

你真的愿意和别人结婚吗？

Phoebe

Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!

我爱迈克……大卫！大卫。我爱大卫。别这么看着我，罗斯尼-罗斯戴安娜！

Ross

By using CT scans and computer imaging we can in a very real way, bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century.

通过使用CT扫描仪和电脑成像，我们可以把中生代真实的带到21世纪。

Charlie

It's great. You're gonna be the hit of the conference.

太棒了。这次的会议你肯定能一举成功。

Ross

Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler)

知道吗，明天还会更棒，因为我不会再被乔伊打搅了，他老是怀疑我的枕头里塞了巧克力。（有人敲门，罗斯去开门，是乔伊、瑞秋和钱德勒）

Joey

Hey guys!

你们好！

Ross

The chocolates aren't here yet.

巧克力还没塞进去呢。

Joey

Damnit!

该死！

Charlie

Ross just read me his speech. It's fantastic!

罗斯刚刚读了他的报告，太棒了！

Chandler

Oh, is it on the computer, cuz I'd love to give it a read...?

在电脑里呢，我也来读读……？

Ross

If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)

如果你想检查邮件，尽管说！（钱德勒假装生气）

Chandler

(offended) What? (pause) May I?

（生气）什么？可以吗？

Rachel

(looking out the window) What's with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season.

（看着窗外）怎么下雨了？我预约的是恐龙周，可没人告诉我会是雨季。

Charlie

Actually the wet season is June to December.

实际上，雨季是六到十二月。

Rachel

It's not the time Charlie.

现在还没到呢。

Chandler

(at the laptop) Oh, no, no, no dear God, no!

（看笔记本电脑）噢……天啊……不！

Joey

Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?

是不是那个茶壶有人比你出价高了？（钱德勒生气地看着他，乔伊凑过去）呃！秘密茶壶？

Chandler

Your computer, I don't know wha... everything's gone!

你的电脑，我不知……所有东西都没了！

Ross

Wha... what do you mean? (Goes to the laptop)

你……你说什么？（走到笔记本电脑旁）

Chandler

It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.

病毒，病毒删了你硬盘上所有的东西。

Ross

What, oh my God. What did you do?

老天。你干什么了？

Chandler

Someone I don't know sent me an e-mail and I opened it.

我打开了一封不知道谁的邮件。

Ross

Why, why would you open it?

你干吗打开？

Chandler

Well, it didn't say "This is a virus"!!

又没写着“有病毒”！！

Ross

What did it say?

写的是什么？

Chandler

Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.

裸体……（罗斯看着他）……安娜·库尔尼科娃的照片，抱歉。

Ross

What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!

我……可怎么办？我的演讲稿没了，钱德！

Chandler

It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?

不会的！你肯定打印出来了吧。你做备份了，是不是？

Ross

NO! I don't!!

我没做！！！

Chandler

Well, you must be pretty mad at yourself right now...!

那你可真得好好自责一下了……

Joey

It's really gone?

文件都不见了？

Ross

Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!

是！真谢谢你们跑到我这儿来抱怨天气，还毁了我的工作！

Chandler

I just feel awful.

我感觉太糟了！

Ross

Yeah, well you should! I mean, nude pictures of Anna Kournikova? I mean, she's never even won a major tournament!

可不是！安娜·库尔尼科娃的裸照？她连一次巡回赛的冠军都没得过！

Chandler

Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)

我也试过比利·简·金，但……（罗斯瞪着他）你和莫妮卡都有那付“我会杀了你”的面孔……？我一般都通过吻她来应付……（罗斯继续瞪着他，钱德勒凑过去好像要亲罗斯）

Ross

Get out! (Chandler runs out)

出去！（钱德勒跑出去）

Rachel

You know, this happens all the time to my computer at work.

我工作的时候电脑也经常出这种问题。

Ross

Well, what do you do?

你怎么办？

Rachel

Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer.

我一般去别人的电脑……玩俄罗斯方块。

Ross

I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?

难以置信，竟然发生这种事。我明天必须得去做主题演讲！我得站在所有人面前，可我说什么？

Joey

I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.

我可以教你一个演讲，是为一次试镜背的。

Ross

I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!

你那些星球大战的独白现在可帮不了我，乔！

Charlie

Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!

罗斯，我来帮你，我刚刚听了你的报告。咱们再写一遍！还有一宿的时间！

Ross

Wha... what you really think we can do that?

你……真觉得咱们能搞定吗？

Charlie

Oh wait, Joey and I are supposed to have dinner (Looks at Joey).

等等，我和乔伊本来要去吃晚餐的。（看乔伊）

Joey

Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.

别管那些了！罗斯需要你！瑞秋和我也会在这儿帮你的。

Rachel

Ugh.

不……

Ross

Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Um, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... um, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.

好的，开干吧。嗯，从论述碳定年的缺点开始……进而说明了中生代的明确定义时刻，盘古大陆时代的结束，嘿！然后，是……呃……三叠纪的概述。

Joey

Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"?

哦！是不是发生在“遥远，遥远的星系中”？

(Ross turns around and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave)

（罗斯转身瞪着他。乔伊和瑞秋决定离开）

Mike

Hello?

喂？

Monica

Ok, Mike, enough is enough, now you love Phoebe and she loves you, so you need to get over your whole "I never want to get married" thing and step up!

听着迈克，适可而止吧，你爱菲比，菲比也爱你，所以忘了你那什么“我再不想结婚”，继续行动吧！

Mike

Who is this?

你是谁？

Monica

This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!

我是莫妮卡！菲比的朋友。听着，菲比又和大卫在一起了，他今晚要向她求婚，而且她会答应，但我知道她爱的是你！

Mike

(sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?

（震惊，坐下）他……他要求婚？

Monica

I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)

抱歉，你说什么？这些头发弄得我根本听不见！（试图把巨大的头发从电话边拨开，没用）

Mike

Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.

菲比若想嫁大卫，她就嫁。我不想搀和进去，你也别。

Monica

You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!

不要教我怎么做！是我教你！给她打电话。她在巴巴多斯天堂饭店。我记得你是卷发对吗？TMD！

(Chandler walks in)

（钱德勒走进来）

Monica

(sarcastically) Well, I hope you're happy!

（讽刺地）这回你可高兴了！

Chandler

(pretending not to sense the tone) Oooh! I hope you're happy too, honey!

（假装没听出语气）哦！希望你也高兴，宝贝！

Monica

Phoebe is going to say "Yes" to David. See, that's what happens when you meddle in people's lives!

菲比会答应大卫。看，这就是你管闲事的结果！

Chandler

Phoebe is going to say "yes"? That's, that's great!

菲比会答应他？这太棒了！

Monica

No it's not, b'cause she's still in love with Mike!

一点儿都不，因为她还爱着迈克！

Chandler

And there's not chance that will work?

那还有机会吗？

Monica

No, I called him. It's not gonna happen.

不，我刚给他打电话了。没戏了。

Chandler

(pointing at her) Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler!

（指着她）喔！管闲事！管闲事！

Monica

Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!

如果不是因为你先管闲事，我也就不必搅和进来了。现在不管我们再怎么做，也不能回到你管闲事之前了！

Chandler

This vacation sucks!!

狗屁假期！！

Joey

I'm so bored! Stupid rain, we... we can't do anything.

真无聊！可恶的雨，我们……什么都做不了。

Rachel

Well, I've brought some books. We could read.

我带了几本书，咱们看书吧。

Joey

Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.

还不到这地步呢。

(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)

（一个侍者端着开胃菜等托盘走过）

Joey

(stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!

（拦住侍者）嘿！嘿！别在意我怎么做！

Waiter

I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)

对不起，这是为药剂师大会准备的。（走开）

Joey

Hey Rach, do you feel like going to a convention?

瑞，想不想开个会？

Rachel

We can't. We're not pharmacists!

不行。我们不是药剂师！

Joey

(walking to a table with many badges on it) I know we're not, but (he picks up a badge) Frank Medeio and... (picks up another badge) Eva Trorro... womba...

（走到摆满胸卡的桌前）我知道不是，但……弗兰克·梅代奥还有……伊娃·特罗罗……旺巴……

Rachel

(picking up another random badge) Kate Miller?

（捡起另一个随机胸卡）凯特·米勒？

Joey

Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)

没错儿凯特·米勒。（捡起凯特·米勒的胸卡贴在瑞秋胸前）

Rachel

And... that's the most sex I'm gonna have this weekend.

这……可能是我这周末最棒的性爱了。

Joey

In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)

既然这样，再确认一下是不是真棒？（他拍了拍又摸了摸）

Rachel

Thank you. (they walk away)

多谢。（走开）

Charlie

And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.

然后，你说的是把中生代带到21世纪。

Ross

Yeah, that's it?

是吗？

Charlie

Yeah.

是的。

Ross

Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)

天，咱们成功了！（坐到她旁边，兴奋地浏览她的笔记）

Charlie

Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.

事实上，是我成功了。你只记得一点点你的报告。

Ross

Yes, but I did make a pyramid out of the bath products. This is amazing, thank you, thank you so much. (he leans in, and they look at each other for a moment) That's a pretty necklace.

是的，可我用洗浴用品搭了个金字塔。太棒了，谢谢你，真的谢谢你。项链真漂亮。

Charlie

Thank you.

谢谢。

Ross

Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)

怎么庆祝？香槟？（去拿香槟）

Charlie

Oh yeah! Hey, save the cork and then we can fill the bottle with water and put it back so they don't charge you.

好啊！记着留着木塞，把水灌回去，这样他们就不会记你的帐了。

Ross

Oh my God, I love you.

天啊，我爱你。

Charlie

Oh, this is such a cute picture of Emma. And is this your son... or just some kid whose picture you bring on vacation?

爱玛的照片，真可爱。这是你儿子……还是别的什么孩子？

Ross

That's Ben, my son from my first marriage.

这是本，我第一次结婚时生的。

Charlie

Your first marriage?

你第一次结婚？

Ross

Yeah.

是。

Charlie

You're married more than once?

你结过不止一次？

Ross

No. (they clink glasses and drink)

不止一次。

Charlie

So, why did you break up?

为什么分开了？

Ross

(embarassed) Oh, it was... it's complicated, you know? She... she was... eh... gay.

（尴尬）这……很复杂，明白吗？她……她是……呃……同性恋。

Charlie

Oh my God, this is so cool!

天啊，太酷了！

Ross

Ok, odd thing to get excited about!

新鲜事总能让人兴奋！

Charlie

No, it's just... I was engaged to a guy who turned out to be gay!

不，因为……我曾经订婚的对象后来也变成了同性恋！

Ross

Hey! High-five! (they high-five)

嘿！来一下吧！（击掌）

Charlie

Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.

你是不是因为自己没有发现征兆，而觉得愚蠢？我未婚夫经常和他的网球搭档一起过周末。

Ross

My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.

我妻子和伙伴每天都去健身，可整整一年也没见瘦。

Charlie

Right and then everybody finds out and they're like: "Oh, I knew all along"

“我一直都知道”。

Ross

I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"

“嗨，我就是来跟你说一声，你老婆是同性恋”。

Charlie

I know!

没错儿！

Ross

And then, you try to make the best of a bad situation, so you float the idea of a threesome?

然后，为了挽回败局，你曾经考虑“三人行”？

Charlie

I didn't do that.

那倒没有。

Ross

(embarassed) Me neither.

（尴尬）我也没。

Joey

Well, who knew? Pharmacists are fun.

谁想得到？药剂师还真有趣。

Rachel

I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.

我想得到，那老女人想把你带回去。

Joey

Not enough pills in the world, Rach. What about you, you're the single one, seen anybody in there you like?

地球上不能只有药丸，瑞。你呢，孤单的人，碰见自己喜欢的了吗？

Rachel

Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...

看看。我正和一个人聊天，他的胸部很强壮……

Joey

But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?

回去以后呢，那边的情况？有没有喜欢的人？

Rachel

(takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No.

（喝了一口，尴尬）没有。

Joey

There it is, you're blushing!

肯定有，你脸红了！

Rachel

No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain.

不，我没脸红，这是晒的！因为……下雨。

Joey

You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)

你喜欢上谁了。告诉我是谁？谁？（咯吱她）

Rachel

No.

不。

Joey

Tell me who it is.

告诉我。

Rachel

Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)

乔伊！（走开，乔伊追上去逗她咯吱她）

Joey

Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?

到底是谁？告诉我吧。别想逃，你喜欢谁？

Rachel

Joey, come on! It doesn't matter, you know, it's not like anything's gonna happen.

乔伊！其实没什么，你知道，什么都不会发生！

Joey

What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?

为什么不会？瑞，有谁是你得不到的？

Rachel

Oh! (pause) Ok. Ok, you really wanna know who it is?

好吧，你真想知道是谁？

Joey

(eagerly) Yeah, who is that?

（急切）当然，是谁？

Rachel

Do ya?

真想知道？

Joey

Yeah.

是的。

(Ross and Charlie walk into the hall from Ross's room)

（罗斯和查莉从罗斯的房间走进大厅）

Ross and Charlie

Hey!

嘿！

(Joey smiles at them. Rachel looks annoyed)

（乔伊对他们微笑。瑞秋看起来恼火）

Charlie

(to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.

（对乔伊）我刚给你留了个言！我和罗斯正要去大吃一顿，既然你在这儿，我们可以一起吃晚餐。

Joey

Right, of course. Hey, did you guys finish the speech?

当然。演讲稿写完了吗？

Ross

Yep, we got it, we got it. (To Charlie) Thank you so much.

完成了，我们成功了。太感谢你了。

Charlie

I had a great time.

我很开心。

Joey

Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...

好的，听着，还没完呢，我真的想知道是谁……

Rachel

Later! La...

再说吧……

Charlie

So, shall we?

能走了吗？

Joey

Yeah. (they leave)

当然。（离开）

Rachel

Ok. See you, bye.

回见。拜。

Charlie

Bye.

拜。

Ross

Good night.

晚安。

Joey

Night.

晚安。

(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)

（罗斯和瑞秋看着他们走开，叹气。尴尬地对视）

Ross and Rachel

Ok, good night!

好吧，晚安！

END OF PART 1

第一部分结束