The One With The Donor

Charlie

(while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good!

（乔伊给她按摩时）喔！感觉真爽！

Rachel

(speaking to herself and reading Cosmopolitan) Oh, lucky me! Coffee and a live sex show!

（自言自语，读着《Cosmo》）喔！真幸运！边喝咖啡边看活春宫表演！

Charlie

I'm sorry, what?

抱歉！你说什么？

Rachel

Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.

喔！抱歉！我只是……念东西给艾玛听。

Charlie

From... Cosmo??

从……Cosmo里？？

Rachel

Yeah, yeah... It's... "climax your way to better skin".

对……是……“改善皮肤更好的方法”。

Charlie

(to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!

（对乔伊）我今天要去逛街购物，这是我最不喜欢做的事，我非常不会挑衣服！

Joey

So you need someone who knows fashion, to tell you what looks good.

所以你需要一个懂流行时尚的人，告诉你如何搭配衣服。

Rachel

(hiding herself behind the magazine and whispering) Not me, not me, not me, not me, not me!

（躲在杂志后面小声说）不是我、不是我、不是我、不是我、不是我！

Joey

Oh hey Rach!

喔！对了！瑞秋！

Rachel

Yeah...

什么？

Joey

Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.

也许你能带查莉去逛街。

Rachel

Oh, well...

呃……

Charlie

I'm sure you have better things to do.

我相信你有更重要的事要做。

Joey

Are you kidding? Rachel loves to shop! And she has great taste! Yeah, she's the one who taught me, you don't wear white after labour day and that you always, always, always have to put on underwear when you're trying on clothes.

开玩笑？瑞秋最爱逛街了！而且她的品味很棒！对了！她还告诉我劳动节之后不要穿白的，而且永远永远……在试穿衣服前要穿上内裤。

Charlie

If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.

如果你有空的话我会很感激你的帮忙。

Rachel

Ok, uh-uh... Let's-Let's shop!!

好吧，那……我们去逛街吧！！

Joey

(to Charlie) Ok, you're gonna come back with some very classy clothes... (aside to Rachel)... and some slutty lingerie, SLUTTY!

（对查莉）好吧，你要穿一些漂亮的衣服回来……（对瑞秋耳语）还有一些性感内衣，性感！

Phoebe

(entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?

（走进来，打着手机）好的，太好了！好吧，再见！（挂断）真是痛苦！！（看看其他人，又看看手机）这已经挂断了吧？

Joey

What's the matter, Pheebs?

菲比斯，怎么了？

Phoebe

Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!

「别担心！我问过他了，他跟你见面完全不尴尬」。所以我必须要去，他就会觉得我跟他见面也不尴尬。

Rachel

Which you're not, because you've totally hung up on him!

但你不是啊，因为你心里还是挂念着他！

Phoebe

Exactly!

完全正确！

Rachel

And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!

而你希望他非常伤心难过那你必须看起来一切都好！

Phoebe

(after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!

（停顿片刻）我甚至没想到那些！（停顿）啊，两性政治！！

Rachel

Hey Pheebs, I'm-I'm taking Charlie shopping, why don't you come and I'll help you find something.

嘿菲比斯，我……我要带查莉去逛街，你要不要一起来，我也帮你选一些东西。

Phoebe

Ok, that'll be great!

好吧，这主意不错！

Joey

Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.

喔，这太棒了！你们三个一起试穿性感内衣。

Rachel

That's not what we're gonna do!

我们没有要这么做！

Joey

Why would you ruin it, who was that hurtin'?

你干嘛戳破他，又没人受害！

Opening credits

片头

Chandler

(looking at the picture of the female reproductive system) Wow! Fortunately she has a very pretty face!

（看着女性生殖系统图）哇！真幸运她有个漂亮的脸蛋！

Monica

Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!

喔！我真不敢相信！我的子宫不适合受孕？我一直努力去当一个好的女主人！

Chandler

Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!

喔！我不敢相信我的精子活动力很低，因为当我长大时，他们似乎忙着想搬出去！

Doctor Connelly

(entering) Hi there.

（走进来）嗨，你好。

Chandler

Hi.

嗨。

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Doctor Connelly

I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.

我很遗憾没有比上星期更好的消息，但我可以告诉你们一些选择。

Monica

Ok.

好吧。

Doctor Connelly

Above all, even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great, you never know! So, keep having sex on a regular basis.

首先，虽然你们自然受孕的机率很低，但这很难说，所以还是保持规律的性行为。

Chandler

Oh, DAMN IT!

喔，可恶！

(Dr. Connelly glares at Chandler)

（康纳利医生瞪着钱德勒）

Monica

Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.

别担心，不久他就会忘了这件事。

Doctor Connelly

Ok, given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success would be surrogacy, or insemination using a sperm donor.

好吧，根据你们的情形，最有可能成功的选择是请代理孕母，或用捐精者的精子受精。

Monica

(long pause) Ok.

（长停顿）好吧。

Doctor Connelly

And, of course, if you feel that neither of those is right for you, you can always adopt.

当然，如果你们觉得这两个方法都不适合，你们可以领养。

Chandler

Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!

这是暗示吗？因为我们都很喜欢医生您，但我们并不想让你成为我们的孩子！（康纳利医生瞪着他）哇！谈谈不适合受孕的事吧！

Rachel

Hi! Ok, you're ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?

嗨！好吧，你准备好去接菲比然后去逛街了吗？

Charlie

Oh, yeah! Let's do it!

喔，对了！我们走吧！

Joey

(to Charlie) Alright, have a good time. (they kiss)

（对查莉）好吧，玩得开心点。（他们亲吻）

Rachel

Not gonna find any clothes in there!

在那里找不到任何衣服的！

Ross

(entering) Hey, you guys!

（走进来）嘿，大伙！

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?

猜猜谁被选上在国际古生物学研讨会上担任主要演讲者？

Charlie

Umh... Kurts Baley?

嗯……科茨·贝利？

Ross

Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?

没错！上次他要提交摘要的最后期限是什么时候？（他和查莉笑，然后乔伊也无缘无故开始笑）你在笑什么？

Joey

Just... seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist... it's fun, yeah!

只是……这样看起来像一个古生物学家……这很有趣，对吧！

Charlie

So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?

所以你被选上当主要演讲者！是谁决定的？

Ross

Professor Sherman, yeah. I've a meeting with him today.

舍曼教授，对。我今天要跟他开会。

Charlie

He's a pretty tough guy to impress.

他是个很难去说服的人。

Ross

Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.

嗯……我想我知道该如何唬住他。

Rachel

Oh... you're not gonna do a magic trick, are ya?

喔……你该不会要变魔术吧？

Ross

Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).

啧……当然不会！（他坐下来，袖子里掉出一条彩色丝绸飘带）

Chandler

(entering) Hey guys!

（走进来）嘿，大伙！

Ross

Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.

大伙，等一下，嗯，我想问你们一些事。我……我可能会在古生物学会议中演讲，而如果我可以的话，我希望你们都能来听。

Chandler

I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.

我想我只能保守的说我们全部都会有些家庭问题，工作上的事情，或生病。

Ross

It's in Barbados.

在巴巴多斯。

Chandler

But you come first!

但既然你先说了！

Rachel

I'm there!

我会去！

Charlie

We'll see you, guys! (she goes)

再会了，大伙！（离开）

Joey

Bye.

再见。

Rachel

Bye, see ya. (she goes)

再见，拜拜。（离开）

Chandler

(sitting down on the couch) Ok.

（坐到沙发上）好了。

Joey

All right, so. How did it go at the fertility clinic?

好了，那么，今天去不孕者诊所的结果如何？

Chandler

Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.

没有上次那么有趣，显然如果你只给他精液样本就只能得到色情书刊。

Ross

So-so what did the doctor say?

那么……医生说什么？

Chandler

Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.

那里有代理孕母，但莫妮卡一辈子都想要怀着孩子，她觉得看着代理孕母对她而言……很痛苦。

Joey

So you're ruling out surrogacy?

那么你们排除代理孕母了？

Chandler

Yeah.

对。

Joey

So, I don't have to learn what that means?

所以我就不用知道那是什么意思了？

Chandler

Aside from adoption the only other choice is insemination, so... we're talking about sperm donors.

除了领养，其他且唯一的方法就是人工受精，所以……我们考虑找捐精者。

Joey

Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?

不用再说了，我就在这里，她在哪里，楼上吗？

Chandler

(stopping Joey) ah-ha!

（拦住乔伊）啊哈！

Ross

How do you feel about all this?

对这整件事你的看法如何？

Chandler

I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.

我希望有个让我们两个更容易得到孩子的方法，但我想应该没有了。

Joey

Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!

快点罗斯，作个好人，赶快去做！

Ross

(puzzled) What?

（困惑）什么？

(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)

（乔伊凑近罗斯，在他耳边低语）

Ross

(looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!

（惊讶地）什么？不！我不会把本给他们的！

Ross

The data we are receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing of these fossils are - are staggering.

从核磁共振扫描和DNA测试得到的资料看来，那些化石是……令人震惊的。

Professor Sherman

Mmm-mm.

嗯。

Ross

(reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!

（从笔记本读）我是说，我们采信了利基所给的时期，但如果被隔开了十万年，那么你能扔掉我们大部分的假设，你知道吗？就丢进垃圾里。（他把笔记本扔进垃圾桶）所以我要说的是……是那个……这个影响将会非常的大。不只是在古生物学界，但如果你仔细思考一下，进化生物学，嗯，遗传学，地质学，嗯……我是说，想法真的被颠覆了！

(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)

（转身看舍曼教授，却发现他睡着了）

Ross

Oh, that's not what you want...

喔，这不是你所要的……

Shop assistant

(to a girl) Incentive For Men?

（对一个女孩）男性香水？

Phoebe

Oh, I'll take some of that.

喔，给我一点。

Rachel

Pheebs, that's for men!

菲比斯，这是男生用的！

Phoebe

No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.

我知道，这样当我晚一点要去派对时，迈克就会知道我对他而言已经过去了，因为我闻起来像另一个人。（对店员）是啊。

(The shop assistant sprays the perfume on Phoebe's neck)

（店员把香水喷在菲比脖子上）

Phoebe

Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant) Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!

好吧。喔，好的，我跟俄罗斯的计程车司机约会。说真的，有任何人要买这个吗？我闻起来像甜菜根！

Charlie

(to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?

（对瑞秋）你知道吗，我真的喜欢这些上面有垫肩的外套。你觉得那些外套在哪里？

Rachel

On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.

《上班女郎》里的梅兰尼·格里菲斯身上。我想你需要的东西在这边。

Charlie

See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.

看吧，我就跟你说过我需要人帮忙！喔，你知道，顺便一提，我真的很喜欢跟你一起出门。

Rachel

Really?

真的吗？

Charlie

Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?

是的！事实上乔伊跟我今晚要去看电影，你要一起来吗？

Rachel

Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.

喔，我不行。因为我……已经看过了。

Charlie

You've seen all the movies...

你看过所有的电影……

Rachel

Yeah! I'm a big fan! Of the movies, you know. Motion pictures. The Talkies!

对，我是超级电影迷！你知道的，会动的图片。有声电影！

Phoebe

(picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?

（拿起一件连衣裙）嘿，瑞秋，你能跟我一起来试衣间吗？

Rachel

Sure!

当然！

Phoebe

Ok!

好吧！

Charlie

Wha, you know, maybe we can do something else!

哇，也许我们可以做其他的事！

Rachel

You know that depends on what it is! I've done a lot of stuff.

你知道这要看是什么事了。我已经做过很多事情了。

(Phoebe and Rachel go off to the dressing rooms. They enter one and close the curtain.)

（菲比和瑞秋走向试衣间。她们走进一间拉上帘子。）

Phoebe

So what were you doing out there, do you not like Charlie?

你刚刚在外面做什么，你不喜欢查莉？

Rachel

She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her!

她很好，我只是无法对她有好感。

Phoebe

Why?

为什么？

Rachel

I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!

我不知道，只是她轻松顺利地走进我们这群，既聪明，又高！你知道的，还让乔伊神魂颠倒……我是说，没有其他人有这机会！

Phoebe

Who else?

其他谁？

Rachel

Anybody! You, me, you know, Monica's mom...

任何人！你，我，还有，莫妮卡的妈妈……

Phoebe

You like Joey?

你喜欢乔伊？

Rachel

Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.

嘘！菲比！好的，听着，我对他有一点点感觉。

Phoebe

(whispering) Oh my God!

（小声）我的天啊！

Rachel

It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!

这只是肉体上的而且我可以完全控制得住。好吗？只是……当我看到他们两个在一起，有时候我会有一点嫉妒。

Phoebe

Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?

喔，哇！他以前喜欢你而你现在喜欢他，这是不是有点讽刺？

Rachel

(annoyed) Oh, I get it!

（恼火地）喔，我知道啦！

Phoebe

Oh well, as long as it is under control, you know, you can't do anything about it, he's already dating her, and she is a nice person, that wouldn't be right.

喔，好吧，只要一切都在控制之中，你知道的，你就不能做任何事。他已经开始跟她约会，而且她是个很好的人，这样会很不好。

Rachel

I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal.

我知道，我知道，这并没有什么大不了的。

Phoebe

Yeah.

是啊。

Rachel

So can we keep this between us?

所以我们不会说漏这件事？

Phoebe

Sure!

当然！

Rachel

Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!

好吧，太棒了，因为我必须离开这，甜菜根的味道快呛死我了！

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

(Rachel opens the curtains and sees Charlie coming out from the dressing room just next to theirs)

（瑞秋拉开帘子，看见查莉从她们隔壁的试衣间走出来）

Phoebe

Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin?

有没有可能查莉有一个聋的双胞胎姊妹？

Monica

Hi honey!

嗨，亲爱的！

Chandler

Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!

嘿！看，我带一个朋友来吃晚餐，这是我同事，扎克！

Monica

Oh, of course, it's so nice to see you again, Zack!

喔，当然，很高兴再次见到你，扎克！

Zack

(shaking Monica's hand) You too.

（和莫妮卡握手）我也是。

Chandler

You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.

事实上你们两个以前没见过面，但哇！你们都很有礼貌！（停顿）请坐，扎克，我帮你拿啤酒。

Monica

I got it.

我来。

Zack

Thanks.

谢谢。

Chandler

(to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?

（对莫妮卡）嗯，扎克很不错，对吧？

Monica

Yeah, I guess.

我猜是的。

Chandler

So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!

那么，你想要生一个小孩吗？一半你的一半他的！

Monica

(turns around and she's quite shocked) Excuse me?

（转过身，相当震惊）什么？

Chandler

Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!

我们正在谈捐精者的事，而扎克可能就是最佳选择！我是说，听着，他很聪明，健康，体格强壮，我是指，他充满「精」力！

Monica

Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!

钱德勒，这太疯狂了！你要怎么跟他说？「来吧，见见我的太太，给我们你的精子」！

Chandler

No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.

不，我邀请他来吃晚餐，那你就有机会去认识他！我是说，如果我们透过精子银行，你绝不可能见到那个人并检查他。

Monica

Chandler!

钱德勒！

Chandler

I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!

我跟你说，他很棒，甚至如果我的精子没问题，我还是希望他能这样做！

Monica

I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!

我不能参与这件事！你不能就随便带一个人回家，并且希望他当捐精者！

Chandler

Ok!

好吧！

Monica

Uh!

呃！

Chandler

(bringing the beer to Zack) Zack!

（把啤酒拿给扎克）扎克！

Zack

Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.

谢了！你们有杯垫吗？我不想把桌子弄脏。

(Monica hears that and is suddenly very interested in Zack)

（莫妮卡听到后，突然对扎克非常感兴趣）

Monica

Tell me about yourself, Zack!

跟我说说你自己的事吧，扎克！

Rachel

Oh, God, do you think she heard? It would be so bad if she heard!

喔，天啊，你想她听到了吗？如果她听到就糟了！

Phoebe

Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.

嗯，也许她没听到。好吧，我进去那个试衣间，你留在这，然后我说话看看你是否能听得到。

Rachel

Ok, great!

好吧，好的！

(Phoebe moves in the dressing room from which Charlie went out)

（菲比走进查莉出来的那间试衣间）

Rachel

Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!

感谢老天爷，我完全听不到你说什么！

Phoebe

(sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!

（探出头）我还没说话！

Rachel

(sticks her head out too) Well, get back in there and talk!

（也探出头）快进去然后说话！

Phoebe

(goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.

（走回去）我是瑞秋，我让艾玛跟我朋友讲电话的行为，很令人讨厌。

Rachel

(comes out again) What!?

（又出来）什么！？

Phoebe

(comes out too) Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.

（也出来）嗯，有些事很难当面对你说。

Rachel

Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too!

好吧，我听到了！那表示她也听到了！

Phoebe

Ooh! We have a problem.

喔，我们有麻烦了。

Rachel

Oh! What are we gonna do?

喔，那我们该怎么办？

(A strange woman sticks her head out from a third changing cubicle to the far right)

（一个陌生女人从最右边第三个更衣间探出头）

Stranger

Just be honest with her.

就只要诚实的跟她说。

Rachel

Oh my God!

我的天啊！

Stranger

And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...

还有父母让婴儿讲电话……

Rachel

(yelling at the stranger) Alright! Enough out of you!

（对陌生人大喊）好了，你说够了！

Joey

Hello?

喂？

Ross

Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?

乔伊！嘿，我有事必须跟查莉谈谈，她在吗？

Joey

No. no... eh... she went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?

不，呃……她跟瑞秋出去逛街了，怎么了？发生什么事了？

Ross

I'm meeting with professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker...

我正在跟舍曼教授讨论关于我能不能当主要演讲者的事……

Joey

Oh! How's it going?

喔，进行的如何？

Ross

It could be better! He, uhm... he fell asleep!

可以再更好一点点！他，嗯，他睡着了！

Joey

What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!

什么！？但我已经买好去百慕大的机票了！

Ross

Barbados.

巴巴多斯。

Joey

Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!

好啦，我去租台车开过去……！罗斯，你必须得到那个工作！

Ross

What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.

我现在该怎么做？他在打瞌睡！事实上刚刚在睡着前他正谈论着，显然的他希望一个叫弗兰的人用力的打他屁股。

Joey

Well, just wake him up!

那，就把他叫醒吧！

Ross

I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!

我不能这么做！如果他知道我让他睡着了，我就得不到这份工作了！

Joey

Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?

嗯！这有点困难。喔，等一下，这之前发生在我身上过！对，我为了一个演出机会去试镜，然后制作人睡着了，接着……（停顿）不，等一下……睡着的人是我……我是说，听着，莎士比亚，有时来一场追逐戏如何！？

Monica

Hey guys! Dinner's ready!

嘿，你们两个，晚餐准备好了！

Zack

Oh! I'm gonna go wash up first. (Chandler points him the bathroom) Thanks!

喔，我先去洗个手。（钱德勒指给他洗手间方向）谢了！

Chandler

So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!

你觉得如何？我想要我的小孩有他的基因，那双眼睛，那个脸颊！

Monica

Ok, there's enthusiastic and there's just plain gay!!

好吧，那很热情而且完全就像是个同性恋！

Chandler

You don't like him.

你不喜欢他。

Monica

I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.

我觉得他很好，只是我们并不知道真实的他……我们需要知道更多有关於他的事。

Chandler

Alright! Just follow my lead!

好吧，跟着我的话题说！

(Zack comes out of the bathroom. They all sit down at the table.)

（扎克从洗手间出来。他们都坐到桌旁。）

Zack

You guys have such a great place here.

你们住的地方真棒。

Chandler

Oh! Thanks, I'm crazy about our place. Hey! speaking of crazy... do you have a history of mental illness in the family?

喔，谢谢，我很疯狂的喜欢我们的公寓。对了，说到疯狂……你们家有心理问题的病史吗？

Zack

Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.

嗯……没有。虽然我有一个叔叔投票支持杜卡基斯。

Chandler

(very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.

（非常严肃地）这不是我们真正想知道的事。

Zack

(looking very puzzled) Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet.

（看起来很困惑）好吧……那么，告诉我，你们两个怎么相遇的？

Monica

Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?

你或任何你的血亲有糖尿病吗？

Zack

(after a pause, very confused) No...

（停顿片刻，非常困惑）没有……

Monica

Eh... Heart Disease, Alzheimers, gout?

呃……心脏疾病，老年痴呆，痛风？

Zack

You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?

你们两个不常跟别人一起吃饭，是吗？

Monica

We're just making conversation. (Chandler makes an agreeing-sound)

我们只是在制造话题。（钱德勒发出赞同声）

Zack

Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny...

好吧。我今天听到一个很好笑的笑话……

Chandler

You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)

你知道什么不好笑吗？男性秃。（莫妮卡伸长脖子看扎克后脑勺，然后给钱德勒一个“OK”手势）

Zack

Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?

好吧听着，你们今晚已经表现的对我很有兴趣，而我很受宠若惊，而且……说实话有一点吓到我了。我们能说一些别的东西吗？

Monica & Chandler: Sure! Alright...

当然！好的……

Zack

Ravioli's delicious!

这个意大利饺真好吃！

Chandler

I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?

我注意到你正用一排漂亮的牙齿来享用这盘意大利饺。你小的时候有用牙套吗？

Zack

No I didn't.

不，我没有。

Monica

Yess!! (M & C high-five and Zack looks confused again)

太好了！！（莫妮卡和钱德勒击掌，扎克又困惑了）

Chandler

(Proceeding with his dinner) We're teeth people Zack!

（继续吃晚餐）我们都很注重牙齿健康的，扎克！

Rachel

Alright! Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard.

好的！我们上吧。我们就这样走过去，看看她刚刚有没有听见。

Phoebe

Good plan.

好计画。

Rachel

Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?

好吧。（菲比却往反方向走。瑞秋看见跟上去）哇……？你要去哪里？

Phoebe

Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)

喔，瑞秋，我很抱歉，我没空陪你玩那幼稚的游戏，好吗？我仍然必须找出一些好看的衣服，那么我就可以用「你对我已经过去了」来击败迈克！（说完走开）

Rachel

(to Charlie) Hey, hi! Hey, where've you been?

（对查莉）嘿，嗨！你刚刚去哪了？

Charlie

Oh! trying on clothes.

喔，我去试穿衣服。

Rachel

(pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!

（假装震惊）喔，我……在试衣……在试衣间？喔，那真奇怪！菲比和我刚刚也在试衣间试衣服，老天啊，这世界真是小！

Charlie

(smiling) Rachel... I heard you guys whispering.

（微笑）瑞秋……我听到你们两个的悄悄话了。

Rachel

Oh God. You did. You heard. Ok, listen, let me explain.

喔天啊，你听到了，好吧，听着，让我解释一下。

Charlie

No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.

不！没什么好解释的。我听到你说的了，菲比喜欢乔伊。

Rachel

(after a pause) Yeah.

（停顿一下）对啊。

Charlie

It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?

只是……我不了解……我是说，菲比喜欢乔伊，然后她来这买衣服去吸引其他人？

Rachel

Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!

对，这就是菲比，这就是菲比。你知道，她就是想要他们全部，这就好像她是女色情狂！

Charlie

Wow!

哇！

Rachel

Yeah...

是啊……

Charlie

You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.

顺便一提，我听到你叫她不要这么做。谢谢你支持我，你真是个好人。

Rachel

(Looks ashamed) I try...

（看起来惭愧）我尽力……

(Ross takes his suitcase and tries to get out but ends up falling on Prof. Sherman's laps, thereby waking him up)

（罗斯拿起公文包试图出去，结果摔倒在舍曼教授腿上，把他弄醒了）

Ross

(To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)

（对还半睡半醒的教授）哦，我的天啊，你真的希望我当主要演讲者？感谢你！（还坐在他腿上拥抱他）

Prof. Sherman

(confused) You're welcome. (Ross hugs him again)

（困惑地）不客气。（罗斯又拥抱他）

(Phoebe walks in wearing a fancy, revealing dress, and stands before Joey)

（菲比穿着花哨暴露的连衣裙走进来，站在乔伊面前）

Joey

(impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!

（印象深刻）哇！你看起来……（饼干掉了）……会令人停止吃东西的辣！辣的最高境界！

Phoebe

Are you sure? Because I'm really dreading going to this party.

你确定？因为我真的很害怕去参加派对。

Joey

Then don't go!

那就不要去啊！

Phoebe

Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.

迈克知道我会去，所以如果我没出现他会认为是因为他的缘故，而且我不想没有面子。这在我的个人修养里是很严重的事。

Joey

Alright, then you go to that party and you pretend to be over Mike. And afterward you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk!

好吧，那你去参加派对吧，并且假装已经忘了迈克。接着到我的地方来，我会让你好过一点而且大喝一场！

Phoebe

You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.

一言为定！好吧。但不要喝你酿的酒，因为我不想再回到急诊室了。

(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)

（乔伊对菲比竖起大拇指。菲比走出去）

Phoebe

David?

大卫？

(David the scientist guy is standing at the news-stand)

（科学家大卫站在报刊亭旁）

David

Phoebe! Hi!

菲比！嗨！

Phoebe

Oh my God! (they hug)

我的天啊！（他们拥抱）

David

Wow, you look unbelievable.

哇，你看起来真漂亮。

Phoebe

Yeah. What-what are you doing here?

喔，是啊，你在这做什么？

David

Well, I'm back from Minsk... permanently.

嗯，我从明斯克回来了……永久的。

Phoebe

What happened?

发生什么事了？

David

Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?

还记得我当时正试着达成次原子颗粒的阳电子蒸馏吗？

Phoebe

Yeah?

是啊？

David

Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done.

经过了八年的研究，我发现了那是不可能的。

Phoebe

Well, it's great that you're back! How are you?

你回来了真是太好了！你好吗？

David

Good, good, life is good...

很好，生活过得很好。

Phoebe

Good!

那很好。

David

Ah well, I-I'm seeing someone.

我……我正在跟某个人约会。

Phoebe

(disappointed) Oh, good for you.

（失望）喔，你真行。

David

She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".

「我也想这样」。

Phoebe

Mike and I broke up.

我跟迈克分手了。

David

You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.

你跟我开玩笑，因为我并没有跟任何人约会，刚刚全是我编的。

Phoebe

Really?

真的吗？

David

Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face.

是的，我不知道为什么，我很抱歉，我猜我只是不想没有面子。

Phoebe

I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us!

我了解。好吧，那就好了。那现在我们俩都住在纽约，没有跟任何人约会，这真不像我们两个！

David

Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?

对，我知道，那……这也许是个很笨的问题，看你打扮成这样，你现在是不是要去某个地方？

Phoebe

Well... (pause) no.

嗯……（停顿）没有。

David

Do you wanna get a drink?

你想喝点东西吗？

Phoebe

I'd love to.

我很乐意。

David

Great.

太好了。

Phoebe

Ok. (they walk away together)

好吧。（他们一起走开）

David

Do you smell beets?

你有闻到甜菜根的味道吗？

Phoebe

Oh, got it, stay upwind of me.

喔，好吧，站在我的上风处。

(Charlie and Rachel arrive. They see David and Phoebe leave)

（查莉和瑞秋到达。她们看见大卫和菲比离开）

Charlie

Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?

嘿，那是菲比！她身旁的是迈克吗？

Rachel

No, that's David.

不，那是大卫。

Charlie

There's a third guy?

还有第三个人？

Rachel

(disapprovingly) Tip of the iceberg.

（不以为然地）这只是冰山一角。

Zack

I'm gonna take off now. You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?

我现在该离开了。你会让我回家吧，对吗？

Chandler

You sure you don't wanna stick around a little longer?

你确定你不想再待一下？

Zack

No, no, I should get home, I'm kinda tired.

不，不，我必须回家了，我有点累了。

Chandler

Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.

你只是现在累了还是你一直都很累，因为这可能是忧郁症的前兆。

Zack

No it's just tiring having to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died. I'll see you tomorrow.

不，只是必须算出我的祖父母过世的年龄让我觉得很累。明天见。

Chandler

Ok.

好吧。

(Zack leaves)

（扎克离开）

Chandler

I think we've found our sperm!

我想我找到我们要的精子了。

Monica

Does seem pretty perfect.

他似乎相当完美。

Chandler

Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him?

对啊，你这样认为？嗯……我应该拜托他吗？

Monica

(pause) No.

（停顿）不。

Chandler

Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!

为什么不，就因为他的曾祖母过胖？我们的小孩无论如何也会从你身上遗传到啊！

Monica

No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.

不，并不是这样。只是当我们问他所有问题之前，我……我领悟到我不在乎他是不是这世界上最完美的人……他不是你。

Chandler

Yeah, he's better!

对啊，他比我更棒！

Monica

No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.

不，他没有。而且如果我不能跟你怀孕，那么我也不想跟他或其他任何人怀孕。

Chandler

Really? Are you sure?

真的？你确定？

Monica

Yeah, I'm sure.

是的，我很确定。

Chandler

(sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.

（松一口气）谢谢老天爷，因为我也不想这样做。你知道我之所以会这样做，是因为我认为你想这样做。你知道的，我是先生，我被设定要……提供精子。

Monica

That is so sweet. I love you. (they kiss)

这真令人感到窝心。我爱你。（他们亲吻）

Chandler

So you know this leaves us with...

你知道这表示我们只能……

Monica

Adoption.

领养。

Chandler

How do you feel about that?

那你觉得如何？

Monica

I think I feel ok about it. Actually I think I feel really good about it.

我想我觉得这没问题。事实上我觉得这样很好。

Chandler

Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.

我也是。我想要找到一个需要家的小宝宝，并跟你一起扶养他长大，并且用我们特有的方式把它搞的一团乱。

Monica

So this is it, we're really gonna adopt?

那么，那就这样吗，我们真的要领养？

Chandler

(smiling) Yeah.

（微笑）是的。

Monica

(excitedly) Oh my God, we're gonna be parents!

（兴奋地）我的天啊！我们就要为人父母了！

Chandler

We are gonna be great parents.

我们会是一对好父母的。

Monica

And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there (they go look through the window) our baby could be being conceived.

而且这可能会很快，我是说，想一想；现在，外面的某个地方，有人怀着我们的小宝宝。

Chandler

Wait, if we're lucky, and we're really really really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking!

等一下，如果我们很幸运，而且我们真的真的真的很安静，我们可能听得到保险套破掉的声音！

(they hug)

（他们拥抱）

Closing credits

片尾

Chandler

Hey, Zack!

嘿，扎克！

Zack

(hardly enthusiastic) Hey Chandler.

（毫不热情）嘿，钱德勒。

Chandler

Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.

听着，我只是想要为昨天的事向你道歉。我觉得我们让你感到有一点不舒服。

Zack

No you didn't.

不，你们并没有。

Chandler

Really?

真的吗？

Zack

No you did.

不，你们有。

Chandler

My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.

我的太太和我有奇怪的问题，你知道的，我们有时候会问不适当的问题。我们正在克服它。

(Zack's pregnant secretary, Jeanette, walks in)

（扎克怀孕的秘书珍妮特走进来）

Jeanette

(to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).

（对扎克）这是星期五促销的布告牌。（递给他东西）

Zack

Oh, thank you.

喔，谢谢你。

(Jeanette walks out)

（珍妮特走出去）

Chandler

You wouldn't know if Jeanette's planning on keeping her baby, would ya?

你知不知道珍妮特是否计画保留她的小宝宝？

END

结束