The One With The Soap Opera Party

Joey

(enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?

（走进房间）嗨，你们明天晚上有什么安排？

Chandler

(browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.

（翻看日记）嗯，我看看……我记得应该是……对，看电视看到睡着！

Joey

Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.

正好，我的经纪人给了我六张不错的戏剧票。

Chandler

I could fall asleep at a play.

我也可以看戏看到睡着。

Phoebe

What is it?

关于什么的？

Joey

It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".

“你为什么不爱我——一个女人的痛苦人生”。

Monica

It sounds interesting!

听起来好像不错！

Ross

Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)

是好像不错，我是说，听一个女人抱怨两个小时，至少能比这个好点……（罗斯开始打鼾，假装睡着）

Phoebe

I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?

对，对，我们能开车，我们能选举，我们能工作，这些娘们还想要什么？

Joey

You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!

你们会喜欢的，我保证！

Ross

What? How come that you don't have to go!

什么？你不和我们一块儿去？

Joey

I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.

我是很想去，但我明天必须非常早起去工作！所以我不能去，但你们可以把我的票给你们想要的任何人。

Chandler

(browsing through a diary) Uh, let's see, who do I hate?

（翻看日记）嗯，我再看看，我最讨厌谁？

Rachel

(gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.

（从沙发上起来走向厨房，但乔伊挡住了她的路）唔，不好意思……噢，不好意思。

Joey

(lifts Rachel up and moves her behind him so she can walk on) Hey, here you go.

（把瑞秋举起来挪到身后让她能走过去）嘿，这儿走！

Rachel

Ooh... oooh... (pause) oh, ah... (pause) (to Monica) Can I ask you a question?

噢……噢……（停顿）哦，啊……（停顿）（对莫妮卡）我能问你件事儿吗？

Monica

Yeah.

当然。

Rachel

Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?

你认为是否可能两个朋友只是“搞”在一起而完全不当一回事儿？

Monica

No, I don't think it ever works. Why?

不，我认为那根本不可能。怎么了？

Rachel

No reason.

没什么。

Monica

No, no, Rachel?

不，瑞秋？

Rachel

Yeah

嗯。

Monica

Who do you wanna fool around with?

你想跟谁……？

Rachel

(with high pitched voice) Nobody, forget it!

（高音）没什么，算了！

(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)

（莫妮卡指向乔伊，瑞秋转身看见他）

Rachel

(giggling and whispering) Maybe.

)

Monica

(whispering) You can't!

（小声）不行！

Rachel

(whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.

（小声）为什么？（莫妮卡打手势嘟囔着以“因为”开头的什么）说实在的，根本没明白你在说什么。

Monica

In the hall.

去走廊说。

Monica

You wanna fool around with Joey?

你想跟乔伊……？

Rachel

Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of my head! And what's the big deal, people do it all the time!

对！你知道的，自从做了那个有关他的梦，我就一直忘不了！而且也没什么大不了的，大家都在“搞来搞去”！

Monica

Who? Who do you know that are friends that just fool around?

谁？你认识的人里头有谁像你说的这样“搞来搞去”？

Rachel

Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.

好吧，我首先想到的就是……唐和珍妮特。

Monica

Who, who are they?

谁，他俩是谁？

Rachel

I know them from work.

工作上的朋友。

Monica

Both of them?

两个都是？

Rachel

No, one of them...

不，其中一个……

Monica

Which one?

哪个？

Rachel

I don't know, what were the names I just said?

我忘了，我刚才说的是什么名字来着？

Monica

Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.

瑞秋，这么做太不妥当了。

Rachel

All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)

好的，你对，你是对的，我不会跟乔伊做什么的，我只是觉得我们……（乔伊走进走廊）所以我们要用两杯龙嵩叶、一磅小苏打和一个洋葱？（乔伊走进他的公寓）

Monica

What the hell are you cooking!

这能煮出来什么鬼东西来！

Opening credits

片头

Ross

Hey!

嗨！

Monica

Hey!

嗨！

Chandler

Hey!

嗨！

Ross

Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.

嘿，你们绝不会相信我今天的工作是什么。

Chandler

Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.

但是，罗斯，是你自己选择的教恐龙课程作为职业。

Ross

(covering with his hand Chandler's face, like pretending he's not there) (to Monica) There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.

（用手捂住钱德勒的脸，假装他不在）（对莫妮卡）有两个其它的教授将要加入我的部门，而我要在这儿等他们，然后带他们参观校园。

Monica

What's so bad about that?

这有什么可那么糟的？

Ross

It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.

可我只知道他们两个是一个穿着斜纹软呢夹克另一个穿着肘部小山羊皮料子的怪人。

Monica

(fingering her elbow): Ross?

（摸着肘部）罗斯？

Ross

(looking his elbow, where there's a patch) These aren't suede.

（看自己肘部有补丁的地方）这不是小山羊皮。

(a woman walks in)

（一个女人走进来）

Charlie

(to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?

（对甘瑟）不好意思，我想打听个人，你是否知道谁是罗斯·盖勒？

Gunther

No.

不知道。

Ross

Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.

嗨，嗨，我就是罗斯·盖勒。

Charlie

Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer.

噢，我是维勒教授。

Ross

Oh, oh, that's, that's, that's nice.

噢，噢，这个，这个，好极了。

Charlie

It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.

啊……很高兴见到你！谢谢你肯花时间带我到处看看。

Ross

Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.

噢，不，这没什么……我是说，不然的话，我也只是去健身房健健身而已。

Monica

(to Chandler) Is he gonna introduce us?

（对钱德勒）他打算介绍我们吗？

Chandler

(to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.

（对莫妮卡）不，我想他现在眼睛里根本看不清我们。

Charlie

And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.

而且，顺便说一句，我很喜欢你发表的《“地理学隔绝”与“快速突变说”的联系》。

Ross

Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.

噢，呵，我只是花了一个晚上随便写写的。

Monica

(to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.

（对钱德勒）赌20块，他们一个月内会结婚。

Ross

(hitting Monica with his suitcase) (to Charlie) We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.

（用公文包打莫妮卡）（对查莉）我们也许该走了，你知道，校园还是挺大的。

Charlie

Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?

噢，不是还应该有一位教授和我们一起吗？

Ross

I don't think so.

有吗？

Charlie

I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?

我很肯定，好像应该是来自康奈尔的斯帕福德教授？

Ross

Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?

噢，那他显然是迟到了。我课堂的规定就是“如果不守时，就干脆别来了”。（停顿）我的许多学生也就是选择这么做的。（停顿）走吧？

Charlie

You don't think we should wait for him?

你不认为我们该再等等他吗？

Ross

You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?

你知道，他也不是小孩儿了，肯定能找到我们的，对吧？

Professor Spafford

Professor Geller?

盖勒教授？

Ross

Oh, damn it!

噢，他妈的！

(Rachel enters the room and checks the answering machine)

（瑞秋走进房间，检查答录机）

Jane

(from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.

（答录机）嗨，乔伊，我是简·罗杰斯，很高兴参加你今天晚上的酒会。还有，我忘了你家的地址，你能给我回个电话吗？谢谢，再见。

Joey

(entering the room) Hey!

（走进房间）嗨！

Rachel

Hey!

嗨！

Joey

What's happenin'?

怎么了？

Rachel

Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.

真遗憾你不能来看今晚的“女人独角戏”。

Joey

Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next day and so, you know me, work comes first.

噢，我也非常想去，但你知道的，我明天还要那么早起工作……你了解我，工作优先。

Rachel

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah... (she plays the answering machine)

嗯，对，对，对……（她播放答录机）

Message

"Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight"

“嗨，乔伊，我是简·罗杰斯，很高兴参加你今天晚上的酒会”

(Joey's upset and stops it)

（乔伊很沮丧，按停了）

Joey

(yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!

（大喊）简·罗杰斯真蠢！！

Rachel

(angry) You are having a party tonight??

（生气）你今晚将举办个酒会？？

Joey

Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.

是有一个……请的都是《光辉岁月》的剧作人员。

Rachel

And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?

而你根本不打算告诉我们？你就认为我们不会发现吗？

Joey

I do it every year.

我每年都这么做。

Rachel

You do that every year??

你每年都这么做？？

Joey

I didn't have to tell you that!!

我不必告诉你这个！

Rachel

I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!

我比简·罗杰斯还蠢！！

Rachel

Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us??

噢，所以你给我们门票，就是为了摆脱我们？？

Joey

Yeah...

对……

Rachel

And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?

所以去年你请我们去中古餐厅？

Joey

Yeah...

对……

Rachel

OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?

还有前年，你提议去徽章工厂夜间之旅？

Joey

(Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!

（笑）我真不敢相信你们真去那儿了！

Rachel

Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?

乔伊，为什么你不要请我们参加你的酒会？

Joey

You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!

你倒是没什么，但其他人就像围着名人转的白痴！

Rachel

Well, then so you just invite me...!

那就只邀请我一个……！

Joey

(speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!

（大声说）拜托，我只不过是想表达的委婉点儿，你最糟！

Rachel

Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...

噢，乔伊，拜托！求求你了！让我参加吧，我不会那样的，我保证！不会的！求求你了……

Joey

Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.

好吧，好吧！那这样，你来，但别告诉其他人。8点，在屋顶上。

Rachel

(yelling and jumping like a child) OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! (realizing how she's behaving) And it's out of my system!

（像孩子一样大喊大叫跳起来）天哪，屋顶的肥皂剧酒会！！我将要参加屋顶的肥皂剧酒会！！我的天哪！我的天哪！！（意识到自己的行为）晚上的时候我不会这样的。

Professor Spafford

(speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.

蛤、还有贻贝、还有牡蛎、还有碎壳蟹、还有雪蟹、还有帝王蟹。遗憾的是，我对贝壳类动物过敏。

Ross

(very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?

（非常无聊，试图转移话题对查莉说）那么，你为什么大学的时候是肄业生？

Professor Spafford

And that's not all I'm allergic to.

而且那并不是我所有过敏的东西。

Ross

(to Charlie) Oh, it's not over!

（对查莉）噢，原来还没完！

Professor Spafford

I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts...

花生、还有腰果、还有杏仁、还有榛子……

Ross

So basically all nuts?

所以基本上就是所有的坚果？

Professor Spafford

Interestingly... no.

“有趣”的是……不。

Charlie

Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".

好像在玩这个游戏。

Professor Spafford

If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom. (he goes away)

不好意思，我要去一趟洗手间。（他离开）

Charlie

Oh my God!!

噢我的天哪！！

Ross

I've lost the will to live.

我简直失去了活着的信心。

Charlie

Let's ditch him!

我们快甩了他吧！

Ross

What?

什么？

Charlie

Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!

快，趁他还在洗手间里！我求你了！

Ross

Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... (aping Professor Spafford) When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...

用走的呢，还是跑的呢，是昂首阔步式的呢，还是四处流浪型的呢……

Charlie

Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)

够了，停！他说话是慢，但可能尿尿快！好了，逃吧！！（他们跑出去）

Ross

(entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.

（和查莉一起走进来）噢，嘿各位！这位是查莉！查莉，这是菲比和我的妹妹莫妮卡。

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.

对了，查莉将会加入我的部门。

Phoebe

Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! (pause) Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthopods?

噢，你也是古生物学家！（停顿）嗯，那么你对于拉尼翁的在嵌段关节中物种的彩斑的新理论有什么看法呢？

Charlie

Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...

其实，我认为他有一点“过”了，但他也的确有一些很有意思的观念……

Phoebe

Ah, ah.

啊，啊。

Charlie

(her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me.

（手机响）哦，抱歉，我接个电话，不好意思。

Ross

(to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?

（对菲比）拉尼翁的嵌段关节中物种的彩版理论？

Phoebe

Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!

是啊，我在你的咖啡桌上看到这篇文章，我默记住了标题想吓吓你！

Monica

(to Ross) So, did you two have fun?

（对罗斯）那么，你们两个相处得愉快吗？

Ross

Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so much in common and she's just cool, and funny...

天哪，她简直太棒了！我是说，我们-我们有太多的共同点了。而且她很酷，并且还很风趣……

Monica

And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a (aloud) HOTTY!! (Charlie looks at her) HI!!

而且我不知道你是否注意到了她有多——靓！！（查莉看着她）嗨～！

Rachel

(she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.

（穿着浴袍走进来）嘿……嗨各位。你知道吗？我感觉我有点……我想我不能去看戏了。

Ross

Really? Wh-what's wrong?

什么？你怎么了？

Rachel

I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I might have it!!

我也不知道，但我觉得很难受！哦，对了……我早上在电视上看到那个……“纽卡斯尔”疾病……我想我可能有点这个症状！！

Charlie

Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.

“纽卡斯尔”疾病是一种分泌物传染性病毒，它只侵袭鸡或者其他家禽。

Rachel

... Ok, who is this?

……好吧，这是谁？

Ross

I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.

噢，瑞秋，这是查莉·维勒，我学校的同事。

Rachel

Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!

哦，你好！我很想和你握握手但是……我想你不想被我的鸡类疾病传染！

Monica

Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?

嘿，瑞秋，能过来一下吗？

Rachel

Sure! (Monica takes her apart) Oh...

当然！（莫妮卡把她拉到一边）哦……

Monica

You're not sick!

你根本没病！

Rachel

What? Yes, I am!

什么？不，我有病！

Monica

Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??

好，那么，你为什么……（她打开浴袍露出里面漂亮的黑色连衣裙）穿得这么隆重？？

Rachel

When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel better! (she closes her robe)

当你生病的时候，你应该尽一切努力使你自己感觉舒服点！（她关上浴袍）

Monica

You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!

你只是想留在家里好趁机对乔伊有所行动！

Rachel

Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!

才没有！之前我听进去了你所说的一切，所以根本就不是这么回事！

Monica

Ok, what is this?

那是怎么回事？

Rachel

Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!

（小声说）好吧！乔伊准备在天台上开一个秘密的《光辉岁月》剧组酒会，所以他让你们去看戏好避开你们！

Monica

(aloud) WHAT?

（大声）什么？

Ross

(looking at them) Wh-what's going on?

（看着她们）怎么了？

Monica

Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!

乔伊准备在天台上开一个秘密的《光辉岁月》剧组酒会！

Rachel

And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!

而且他不想让你们知道但我特意过来告诉你们！！

Charlie

I thought you came to say you were sick.

我以为你是来说你病了。

Rachel

Ok professor or detective?

你是教授还是侦探？

Phoebe

Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?

乔伊将要开个酒会却不邀请我们？

Rachel

Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!

是啊，而且他每年都这样！这才是他要我们去看戏的原因？这也是他请我们去中古餐厅的原因？去徽章工厂夜行的原因？

Phoebe

And that horrible museum tour!

还有那场恐怖讨厌的博物馆之旅？

Ross

No, I arranged that...

不，那是我请的……

(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)

（乔伊走进来，穿着浴袍）

Joey

(sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.

（听起来很累）嗨各位，我就要上床睡觉了，祝你们玩得愉快。

Phoebe

We know about your party Joey.

我们已经知道你的酒会了，乔伊。

Joey

What party?

什么酒会？

Monica

The game's over! Take off your robe!

游戏结束了！脱下你的长袍吧！

Joey

(looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...

（看起来很困惑，打开浴袍）好吧……我是说……

Everyone

No!! Cover it up!!

不！！快穿起来！！

Joey

(to Charlie after covering himself up again) Nice to meet ya!

（重新盖好自己后对查莉）很高兴见到你！

(Charlie waves hesitantly and Joey leaves)

（查莉犹豫地挥挥手，乔伊离开）

Joey

(To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.

（对一些人）嘿！嘿，太好了！嘿，很高兴你来了，（和一个男人握手）多谢光临！

Monica

Oh my God! Kyle Lowder!

噢天哪！凯尔·洛德！

Kyle Lowder

(to Monica) Hi. (walks on)

（对莫妮卡）嗨。（走开）

Monica

(Yells after him) I love you!

（对着他大喊）我爱你！

Joey

Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...

嘿，这就是我不请你的原因！冷静一点，好不好……去，去喝点什么吧……

Monica

Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.

噢，原来这就是你想要的——压抑与失落感。

Phoebe

Hey!

嗨！

Monica

(Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.

（兴奋）天哪，你能相信我们居然和这些人在一起吗？我几乎都不能控制自己了。

Phoebe

Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)

莫妮卡，你应该还记得你已经结婚了吧。钱德勒在哪儿？（四处张望）

Monica

(Shocked) Oh my God! Chandler!

（震惊）噢天哪！钱德勒！

Chandler

Where the hell is everybody?

大家都死哪儿去了？

(The lights dim and Chandler tries to get away but as the bitter lady comes on stage and starts yelling he promptly changes his mind and sits down)

（灯光暗下，钱德勒试图离开，但苦女人登上舞台开始大喊，他立刻改变主意坐下）

Bitter lady

(yelling) Why don't you like me?! Chapter One: My first period.

我的第一次月经。

Monica

(to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's getting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".

（对瑞秋）嘿！乔伊说别去要签名！但如果她签了，我也要一个。就写献给莫妮卡。别写“祝福”这种破玩意儿。写——“爱”。

Rachel

Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.

事实上莫，马修是在给我他的电话号码。

Monica

Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!

噢天哪！要是我早知道我能来这个酒会，我绝不结婚！

Matthew Ashford

It was nice to meet you Rachel.

很高兴见到你，瑞秋。

Rachel

Nice to meet you.

也很高兴见到你。

Matthew Ashford

Call me.

给我打电话。

Rachel

Ok

好的。

(Matthew leaves)

（马修离开）

Monica

(yelling after him) We will!!

（对着他喊）我们会的！！

Monica

(to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!

（对瑞秋）看看这些小伙儿们！

Rachel

Yeah!

是啊！

Monica

I guess you have forgotten all about Joey?

我想这回你该可以忘了乔伊了吧？

Rachel

Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!

嗯，是啊，但很显然你也忘了钱德勒！

Monica

Please... Chandler is the love of my life... (At which point a man in leather pants walks by)... oooh leather pants! Have Mercy! (Follows the man in the leather)

拜托……钱德勒是我一生的挚爱……（这时一个穿皮裤的男人走过）……噢，皮裤！真走运！（跟着皮裤男走开）

(cut to Ross and Charlie)

（切到罗斯和查莉）

Ross

(to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?

（对查莉）离开了波士顿你一定很难过吧？

Charlie

Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.

其实，我倒是有点高兴……我刚和前男友分手。

Ross

Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?

噢……真遗憾……不过，离开哈佛还是很不容易吧？尤其是在像阿尔伯特·温特迈耶那样的诺贝尔得主旁边工作后？

Charlie

Actually, Alby is the guy I broke up with.

事实上，阿尔比就是我的前男友。

Ross

You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer?

你和阿尔伯特·温特迈耶约会？

Charlie

Yeah...

对啊。

Ross

... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...

……而你叫他阿尔比！？（笑）我是说这好像……简直就像叫爱因斯坦……呃……阿尔比……

Charlie

Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.

呵，对，他是个挺有才气的人。

Ross

Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!

那当然！我是说，你是在跟一个改进放射性碳的准确性为十的因数的人约会啊！

Charlie

Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...

那倒是，但是对于一个普通人找男朋友来说，他有很多毛病……

Ross

(very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".

（非常感兴趣）噢！比如呢？（查莉困惑但微笑地看着他）哦对不起，我不是在打听隐私，只是一个一般人看“走进好莱坞”都会问的问题。

Charlie

Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.

想听点八卦？阿尔比总觉得在我这里没有安全感。我是说，他总觉得我之前的男友比他强。

Ross

Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?

谁会比一个诺贝尔奖得主还强？

Charlie

A guy who won two.

一个得了两个诺贝尔奖的家伙。

Ross

(a little suprised) Two? Wha...? Don't tell me you dated Benjamin Hobart

（有点惊讶）两个？哇噢……？别告诉我你和本杰明·霍巴特约会过。

Charlie

Yeah... for three years.

对……我们在一起三年。

Ross

Oh my God! Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who hasn't won the Nobel Prize?

噢天哪！你跟没得过诺贝尔奖的人交往过吗？

Charlie

(smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.

（微笑着想了一会儿）……没有……但是，我首任男友比利……

Ross

Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him?

噢？他没得过？

Charlie

No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.

没，但他刚得了麦克阿瑟的天才奖学金。

Ross

Huh... huh... what a loser! Some more wine? (takes the half-full glasses and goes to the counter)

真失败啊？！再来点酒吗？（拿起半满的酒杯走到吧台）

Phoebe

Hey Ross!

嗨罗斯！

Rache

How is it going with Charlie?

跟查莉处得怎么样？

Ross

(sarcastically) Oh Great! After I finish my wine I'm going to blow my... eh. average-sized brains out.

（讽刺地）好得很！喝完这杯酒，我就去切除我这颗平庸的大脑！

Phoebe

Oh, What's the matter?

怎么了？

Ross

She... she only dates geniuses and Nobel Prize winners. Oh my God, at the chinese restaurant earlier today, I put chopsticks in my mouth and pretented to be a woolly mammoth.

她……她只和一些天才和诺贝尔得主约会。天哪，在中国餐馆的时候，我还把筷子塞到嘴里装长毛象！

Rachel

I always loved that!!

我很喜欢那个！！

Ross

Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!

你当然喜欢了，你大脑比我还差！！（瑞秋点头）我根本没法跟她以前约会的对象比，他们比我强太多了！噢天哪！

Phoebe

Worse?

还有更糟的？

Ross

Oh much, much worse. I did my impression of Joan Rivers as one of the earliest amphibians... (gestures with his hands and says in an impression voice?) "Can we walk"? (Phoebe starts laughing) Oh, you... you like that?

太糟了，简直糟太多了。我对她说了我觉得琼·里弗斯就像一个早期的……两栖类动物……（用手比划，用模仿的声音说）“我们能走路吗？”（菲比开始笑）噢，你……你也这么觉得？

Phoebe

(still laughing) No. (points to Rachel who stuck two straws in her mouth to look like a mammoth's tusks)

（还在笑）不。（指向瑞秋，她把两根吸管塞在嘴里装成猛犸象的象牙）

Ross

What? (turns around to look at Rachel)

什么？（转身看瑞秋）

Rachel

Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)

别这样！我觉得这个很有趣！（罗斯离开）

Bitter lady

Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?

我猜想你们都觉得现在应该是“中场休息”的时间了，对吗？

Chandler

(To himself) oh yes, God yes!!

（自言自语）噢天哪，终于休息了！！

Bitter lady

(now yelling) Well, you're not gonna get one! Because in life there are no intermissions, people. Chapter 7: Divorce is a 4 letter word. (Now standing right in front of Chandler and bending down almost to his level as if speaking to him, yelling even louder) How could he leave me?!?!

离婚我只能说4个字（你怎么能离开我？！？！）（实际上是7个字，哈）

Chandler

I... I don't know... you seem lovely.

我……我不知道啊……你看起来很可爱。

Joey

Hey Ross, this is one of my co-stars, Dirk. (To Dirk) Dirk, this is my good friend Ross. (Ross and Dirk shake hands)

嗨罗斯，这是我和我一起演戏的朋友德克。（对德克）德克，这是我的好朋友罗斯。

Dirk

Hey! So what show are you on?

很高兴见到你。你现在在演什么？

Ross

Oh, I'm no actor, I'm a professor of palaeontology.

我不是演员，我是名古生物学家。

(Dirk is confused)

（德克很困惑）

Joey

It's a science.

就是科学家。

Dirk

Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.

噢！正巧，我在剧中也演个科学家。这个人物在剧中刚刚获得了诺贝尔奖。

(Ross looks annoyed hearing that even Dirk's character won a Nobel prize)

（罗斯听到连德克的角色都得了诺贝尔奖，看起来很恼火）

Joey

Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...

嘿罗斯，听着，德克对你带来的那个美女很感兴趣，所以想问问你们是不是在交往，或是想要……

Ross

Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.

噢，没有，但我想说，她只跟非常非常聪明的人约会。

Dirk

Hey, I got a 690 on my SATs.

我的学业性测验得了690分。

Ross

I'd lead with that.

可以上新闻头条了。

(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)

（切到莫妮卡掀起衬衫露出胸罩。一个演员站在她旁边，手里拿着笔）

Monica

That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so).

对，就签在胸罩的右边。（演员照做）

Joey

Monica!

莫妮卡！

Monica

Don't worry Joe, I won't come next year!

别担心乔，明年我不会来了！

(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)

（乔伊无奈地走向瑞秋的桌子）

Joey

(To Rachel) What have you got there?

（对瑞秋）拿的是什么？

Rachel

Just some boys gave me their phone numbers.

几个男孩子给我的电话号码。

Joey

Ah, let me see! (she hands him a pile of tissues) Damn, that's a lot of guys! Are you a little slutty?

啊，我看看！（她递给他一叠纸巾）哇，还真不少啊！你是个小荡妇吗？

Rachel

(drunken voice) I think I am.

（醉醺醺地）我想是的。

Joey

(browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you $5,000 to get to level three and I don't feel any different.

（翻看纸巾）我看看这些小丑是否合格。这个家伙是戴的假发（扔掉一个）。这个是加拿大的（扔掉另一个）。这个家伙是信什么教的，让你花5000美元提高到等级三，但是我觉得根本没变化。

(Rachel is puzzled)

（瑞秋很困惑）

Joey

(discarding all the remaining tissues one by one) Pass, pass, oh, pass, double-pass, pass...

（把剩下的纸巾一张一张扔掉）不行，不行，这个也不行，还是不行……

Rachel

(picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys?

（捡起纸巾）这些又怎么了？

Joey

Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.

没什么大毛病。但我觉得他们对你来说都不够好，你应该得到最好的。

Rachel

Joey, you're so sweet.

乔伊，谢谢你。

Joey

That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.

我是说真的。但你知道吗，因为我知道谁是那个今晚应该带你回家的“最好的”。

Rachel

Who (looks around)?

谁？（四处张望）

(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)

（乔伊示意瑞秋凑过来。她照做了。）

Joey

Me.

我！

Rachel

(surprised) What? (with a nervous smile) Really?

（惊讶）啊？真的吗？

Joey

Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!

当然，因为我们住在一起啊，哈哈！

Rachel

Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)

噢！当然！（他们击掌）

Joey

Gotcha.

太幽默了！哈哈！

Rachel

Oh, Very funny... Joey.

你对这个戏剧有什么想法？？

(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)

（乔伊离开。瑞秋把剩下的酒一饮而尽，做了个鬼脸。）

(Chandler walks in)

（钱德勒走进来）

Chandler

(to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?

（对莫妮卡）你对这个戏剧有什么想法？？

Monica

Oh my god, honey, I'm so so so so so sorry.

噢亲爱的，我-太-太-太-太-太抱歉了。

Chandler

Well you should be. You missed the most powerful three hours in the history of the theater.

你是应该遗憾，因为你错过了戏剧史上最有意义的三个小时。

Monica

You really liked it?

你喜欢那个戏？

Chandler

Oh yeah! I mean at first I hated it, but why wouldn't I, because as a man I've been trained (bitter woman's tone) not to listen! (pause) But after chapter 16: "fat, single and ready to mingle", I was uplifted.

“肥胖与独身将融为一体”之后，我得到了提高。

Monica

Oh really!

是吗？

Chandler

Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!

我简直得到了升华。我从来不了解作为一个女人的旅程会是这么令人惊讶！给我讲讲，你的第一次是什么样的！

Monica

No!

不！

Chandler

Did somebody sign your bra?

谁在你的胸罩上签了名吗？

Monica

So I got it when I was 13...

当时我13岁……

Phoebe

Hey Ross! So listen, about you and the dinosaur girl, are you really just gonna let a couple of Nobel prizes scare you off? What is that, come on, a piece of paper?

嘿罗斯！嗨，听着，关于你那个恐龙女，你真是就被几个诺贝尔奖吓倒了吗？那有什么的啊，拜托，不就是一张纸吗？

Ross

It's actually a $1,000,000 prize.

那是个100万美元奖金的奖项。

Phoebe

Go Charlie! But my point is, ok so she dated them but she also broke up with them. Maybe she's looking to, you know, slum it with some average Joe PhD.

干得好查莉！但我要说的是，对，她是和他们约会过，但她不还是和他们分手了吗？也许她只想找一个普通的博士。

Ross

Yeah, maybe. I do have my whole career in front of me. I mean, I can still win a Nobel prize. Although the last two papers I've written were widely discredited.

也许是的。我的事业也很出色。我是说……我也可以得诺贝尔奖。尽管大家对我的前两篇文章普遍的产生怀疑态度。

Phoebe

You're so much more than just brains! You're sweet, and kind, and funny...

你比只有聪明大脑的那些人强多了！你这么细心，博爱，还很幽默……

Ross

And sexy.

而且性感。

Phoebe

Ok well give her a chance to see all of that!

那就给她个机会让她了解一下这些嘛！

Ross

Yeah, you're right, thanks Pheebs, I'm gonna go find her.

对，说得对，谢谢菲比斯，我去找她。

Phoebe

Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!

祝你好运！嘿，我觉得你的论文在德语地区里的标点平衡用的最好！

Ross

Stop going through my stuff (walks away)!

别再看我的论文了（走开）！

(Rachel approaches Monica)

（瑞秋走近莫妮卡）

Rachel

(to Monica) Hey!

（对莫妮卡）嘿！

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.

我只是想让你知道我改变主意了！我要行动了，我要去亲乔伊！

Monica

No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.

不，你不能这么做！朋友搞在一起决不是什么好事儿。

Rachel

Please, what about you and Chandler?

那你和钱德勒又是怎么回事儿？

Monica

That's different! I was drunk and stupid!

那不一样！我喝醉了而且蠢！

Rachel

Well hello (points to herself)!

嗨！亲爱的！（指着自己）

Monica

What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?

那些个你电话号码的小伙儿呢？你就不能去亲他们中间的一个？

Rachel

I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!

我能！但是我不想要他们！我只想要乔伊！

Monica

Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.

好吧（耸肩）……尽管我认为这是个错误，但如果你坚持的话……

Rachel

(pause) I'm gonna do it.

（停顿）我一定要这么做！

Monica

And I can't stop you.

我也不能阻止你？

Rachel

No.

不能！

(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)

（瑞秋去找乔伊。她看见他和查莉在热烈接吻。）

Ross

(to Rachel) Hey Rach, have you seen Charlie anywhere?

（对瑞秋）嗨瑞秋，看见查莉在哪儿了吗？

(Rachel just stands there staring at Joey and Charlie in silence. After a while, Ross turns around and sees them.)

（瑞秋只是站在那儿沉默地盯着乔伊和查莉。过了一会儿，罗斯转身看见了他们。）

Ross

I'm smarter than him!

我至少比他聪明吧！

Closing credits

片尾

Phoebe

Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.

嗨，谢谢你买的门票，钱德勒。

Chandler

Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.

噢，看这场戏的经验对我来说太重要了，我只是想和你们分享一下。

Monica

Oh, you're so wonderful.

你简直太棒了。

Bitter woman

Why don't you like me! Chapter one: my first period.

我的第一次。

Chandler

Can't believe you guys bought that, enjoy your slow death (runs away).

真不敢相信你们相信我，好好享受你们的慢性死亡吧！（跑开）