The One With Rachel's Dream

Joey

(talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful... why are we fighting this? You know you want it to happen as much as I do.

（对着手里的菠萝说话）天啊，你太美了……我们何必这样僵持呢？你明明和我一样，渴望这件事发生。

(Rachel comes out of her room and starts staring at him unseen)

（瑞秋从房间走出来，悄悄盯着他看）

Joey

I want you. I need you. Let me make love to you.

我想要你，我需要你。让我和你共度良宵吧。

Rachel

I don't wanna stand in the way of true love or anything, but I think a canelope might hurt less.

我不想妨碍真爱什么的，但我觉得拿个哈密瓜当对象，可能受伤还轻点。

Joey

Oh, ehm... I'm... I'm rehearsing my lines. They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!

哦，呃……我在……我在排练台词。《我们的日子》给我安排了一段浪漫大戏，我的角色还是头一回有这种戏份。我特别紧张，我真的想演好！

Rachel

Woow! I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!

哇！自从你拍那个狗粮广告，还以为能和一只真会说话的狗搭档之后，我就没见你这么激动过！

Joey

Yeah, that was a disappointment... (pause) Oh, hey! D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?

是啊，那次太让人失望了……（停顿）哦，对了！你要不要去片场看看，帮我看看演得怎么样？

Rachel

(excited) Are you serious?

（兴奋地）你说真的？

Joey

Yeah! Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.

真的！你只要保证别再被赶出去就行。

Rachel

Hey, that was an honest mistake!

那纯属无心之失！

Joey

Right! (he starts to ape her) "Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor? " (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts)

可不是嘛！（模仿她）“天啊，这是男厕所吗？我好尴尬啊，你是不是从小就知道自己要当演员？”（歪着头，假装看男人的隐私部位）

Rachel

Yeah, that was an awesome day!

是啊，那天可太精彩了！

Opening credits

片头字幕

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?

对了，你们接下来几周有空的话，要不要来我餐厅吃晚饭？

Phoebe

Sure!

好啊！

Ross

I'd love to!

我很想去！

Monica

Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month!

可惜不行！我们下个月的位子全订满了！

Phoebe

Well, I can't give you a massage, because my license has been revoked again!

那我没法给你们按摩了，我的按摩执照又被吊销了！

Ross

Phoebe, what happened?

菲比，怎么回事？

Phoebe

Well, it was an accident... You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!

纯属意外嘛……你懂的，按摩油太多了，手有时候就滑了！

(Chandler enters)

（钱德走进来）

Chandler

(To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you! Pack your bags!

（对莫妮卡说）我给你准备了个惊喜！收拾行李吧！

Phoebe

Oh no! You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!

哦不！你们不是说好七年之内不离婚的吗！

Chandler

What? No, I'm taking Monica to a romantic inn in Vermont! (shows them a brochure)

什么？不是，我要带莫妮卡去佛蒙特州的一家浪漫小旅馆！（拿出宣传册）

Phoebe

Oh, good! Ok, good for you! Try to recapture the magic!

哦，太好了！祝你们玩得开心！好好重温浪漫！

Chandler

So, what do you say? Can you get out of work?

所以，你觉得呢？能请假吗？

Monica

Oh, honey! I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!

哦，亲爱的，不行。我刚还跟他们说，餐厅现在忙得不可开交！

Chandler

Are you really that busy?

你真的有那么忙吗？

Monica

Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am.

是啊，对不起，真的走不开。

Chandler

Oh, that's ok. I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it. (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?

哦，没事。我改期好了。（打电话）你好，我是钱德·宾。我在你们那订了房，想改一下时间。（停顿）哦，什么叫不能退款？我换个时间来不行吗？（停顿）就不能通融一下吗？

Monica

Tell them I'm a chef in a big New York restaurant!

跟他们说我是纽约一家大餐厅的主厨！

Phoebe

And tell them that in 2 weeks I will once again be a masseuse in good standing!

跟他们说两周后我就能重新做一名合格的按摩师了！

Chandler

(on the phone) Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok? (pause) Oh, thank you very much! (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...

（打电话）这太过分了！我不会付这个房费的！懂吗？（停顿）哦，非常感谢！（挂电话）行吧，我还是去佛蒙特吧……

Ross

Oh, don't worry about it! Just use your travel insurance.

别担心！用旅行保险就行。

Chandler

I don't have travel insurance.

我没买旅行保险。

Ross

Well, this is what happens when people live on the edge!

看吧，这就是爱冒险、不留后路的下场！

Monica

Why don't you take Ross?

你不如带罗斯去？

Ross

Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...

呃，会不会有点奇怪啊？两个大男人住浪漫小旅馆……

Monica

No, not if their room has two beds!

不奇怪啊，房间有两张床就没事！

Ross

(browsing the brochure) I guess... It still seems a little... (enthusiastically) moonlight boat ride!

（翻看宣传册）好像也是……还是有点怪……（突然兴奋）月光游船项目！

Rachel

Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?

嘿乔伊，奥莉维亚是在这张床上失去初夜的吗？

Joey

I don't know, but one of the extras sure did! (pause) Hey, listen Rach. Thanks again for coming down to watch my scenes!

不知道，但有个群演肯定是！（停顿）对了瑞秋，谢谢你来片场看我拍戏！

Rachel

Oh, please! Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm... OH MY GOD! Is that Christian Sanders? He's so gorgeous!

别客气！亲爱的，你愿意让我来支持你，我就很开心了……天啊！那是克里斯蒂安·桑德斯吗？他太帅了！

Joey

Also so gay!

还是个同性恋！

Rachel

Oh, in my head he's done some pretty "not-gay-stuff"!

在我的幻想里，他可干过不少“异性恋的事”！

Joey

Well, at the Christmas party him and Santa did some definitely gay stuff!

圣诞节派对上，他和圣诞老人干的事，绝对是同性恋行为！

Director

Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!

乔伊，乔伊！该你上场了！

Joey

Oh, wish me luck!

哦，祝我好运吧！

Rachel

Ok, not that you need it but good... GOD! Is that Chase Lassiter? He's straight, right?

好，你肯定没问题，但还是祝你好运……天啊！那是蔡斯·拉西特吗？他是直男吧？

Joey

Rach, I gotta say... if you weren't here wondering if these guys were gay I don't know if I could do this!

瑞秋，说实话……你要是在这儿光顾着猜别人是不是同性恋，我都不知道自己能不能演下去了！

Rachel

Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry, good luck! (they hug)

哦对不起，你说得对。对不起，祝你好运！（两人拥抱）

Director

On a bell please! Quietly.. and ACTION!

铃声准备！安静……开拍！

(the scene starts. Joey enters and there's a girl wearing a wedding dress near a bed)

（开拍，乔伊走进场景，床边站着一位穿婚纱的女演员）

Actress/Olivia

Drake! What are you doing in here?

女演员/奥莉维亚：德雷克！你在这儿干什么？

Joey/Drake

Stopping you from marrying the wrong man and making the biggest mistake of your life.

乔伊/德雷克：阻止你嫁给错的人，避免你犯下人生最大的错误。

Actress/Olivia

Get out!

女演员/奥莉维亚：出去！

Joey/Drake

You don't love him!

乔伊/德雷克：你根本不爱他！

Actress/Olivia

What do you know about love?

女演员/奥莉维亚：你懂什么是爱？

Joey/Drake

I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.

乔伊/德雷克：我知道那晚我们在桥下接吻时的感觉。

Actress/Olivia

That kiss never happened.

女演员/奥莉维亚：那个吻根本不存在。

Joey/Drake

Oh, what about this one.

乔伊/德雷克：那这个呢。

(the actress slaps him)

（女演员扇了他一巴掌）

Rachel

(watching a television where the scene is shown, startled) OH!

（看着监视器里的画面，吓了一跳）哇！

Actress/Olivia

No, I told you... get out!

女演员/奥莉维亚：不，我说了……出去！

Joey/Drake

Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question...

乔伊/德雷克：好，我走。但我问你一个问题……

Chase Lassiter

(talking to Rachel) You look familiar, have we...

（对瑞秋说）你看着很眼熟，我们是不是……

Rachel

SSSHHHHTTT!!! He's asking her a question!!!

嘘——！他在问她问题呢！

Joey/Drake

Can you really live the rest of your life never knowing what we could have been?

乔伊/德雷克：你真能一辈子都不知道，我们本可以拥有怎样的未来吗？

Actress/Olivia

I don't have a choice...

女演员/奥莉维亚：我别无选择……

Joey/Drake

Yes, you do. Yes... you do. I'm the one who doesn't have a choice because I... because I can't stop loving you.

乔伊/德雷克：你有的选，你当然有。我才是别无选择的人，因为我……因为我无法停止爱你。

Actress/Olivia

Don't say that...

女演员/奥莉维亚：别这么说……

Joey/Drake

Tell me to stop, just... tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)

乔伊/德雷克：让我停下，只要……你让我停下。（准备吻她）

Director

CUT!

停！

Rachel

NO! (pause) Or, cut! You know, that's your call!

别停！（停顿）哦，停也行！你们说了算！

1st Customer: Everything was delicious!

顾客1：菜都太好吃了！

Monica

Thank you!

谢谢！

2nd Customer: It was. The duck in particular was superb.

顾客2：是啊，尤其是烤鸭，味道绝了。

Monica

Thank you! (she looks at the 3rd customer waiting for a compliment) You haven't said anything...

谢谢！（看向第三位顾客，等着对方夸奖）你还没说什么呢……

3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint.

顾客3：其实我有个小意见。

Monica

Oh.. please! I-I welcome criticism.

哦，尽管说！我很乐意接受批评。

3rd Customer: The musician right outside the restaurant... it's kind of a mood-killer!

顾客3：餐厅门口那个唱歌的……有点太煞风景了！

Monica

What musician?

什么唱歌的？

Phoebe

(playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Ol?

（弹吉他唱歌）有个国家叫阿根廷~ 我从来没去过那里~ 但我听说五十比索，就能买到人的脾脏~ 人的脾脏~ 哦~

Monica

What are you doing here!

你在这儿干什么！

Phoebe

Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!

你不是说顾客都排到街上了吗？我来给大家助兴啊！

Monica

Great!

真有你的！

Phoebe

Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".

可不是嘛！效果超好的，有些人肯定听过我唱歌，还点了好几首歌呢！比如《你真差劲》和《闭嘴回家去》。

Monica

Listen Phoebe...

听我说菲比……

Phoebe

Yeah.

嗯。

Monica

You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...

你知道我多喜欢听你唱歌，但是……

Phoebe

But what?

但是什么？

Monica

This is kind of a classy place.

这里算是高档餐厅。

Phoebe

(pause) Ok, say no more.

（停顿）行，我懂了。

Phoebe

(with a fancy dress, still playing and singing) : It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?

（穿着华丽裙子，继续弹唱）她不光是胖，身上还臭得像垃圾！大家一起唱！她不光是胖，身上还臭得像垃——圾！（对莫妮卡晃了晃裙子）够高档了吧？

(Monica covers her face with her hands)

（莫妮卡捂脸）

Chandler

Hi, Chandler Bing, I have a reservation.

你好，我是钱德·宾，我订过房。

Receptionist

Welcome to the Chestnut Inn Mr. Bing, so where are you joining from?

欢迎来到栗树旅馆，宾先生。请问您从哪里来？

Chandler

New York.

纽约。

Ross

(in a strange voice and eating candies) The big apple!

（吃着糖，用奇怪的语气）大苹果城！

Chandler

I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.

不好意思，他有点兴奋过头了，来的路上我们每个枫糖摊都停了。

Ross

Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.

可不是嘛，给大家带的礼物全被我吃了。

Receptionist

I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.

抱歉，宾先生，电脑里没有您的预订记录。

Chandler

Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please?

不可能的，麻烦再查一下？

Ross

(high pitched voice) Check again please!

（尖着嗓子）麻烦再查一下！

Receptionist

I'm sorry, it's not here.

抱歉，确实没有。

Ross

Not there.

没有啊。

Chandler

Let me get this straight. I called yesterday trying to cancel my reservation and I was told it was not refundable, then we drove six hours all the way up here and now you tell me that we don't have a reservation?

我理一下。我昨天打电话想取消预订，你们说不能退款，我们开了六个小时车过来，现在你跟我说没预订？

Receptionist

I don't know what to say.

我也不知道说什么好。

Ross

(mumbling) She doesn't know what to say!

（嘟囔）她不知道说什么好！

Chandler

Just give us the cheapest room you have.

给我们开最便宜的房间就行。

Receptionist

Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.

不巧，我们只剩豪华套房了，一晚六百美元。

Chandler

That's insane!

太离谱了！

Ross

Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if... if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.

简直离谱。要不我们开车回去吧，路上再逛所有枫糖店，就算店关门了，说不定还能敲棵树自己做呢。

Chandler

Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.

那套房里有能把他锁起来的壁橱吗？（停顿）我们要了。

Receptionist

Great.

好的。

Chandler

(aside, to Ross) What! ? They are totally ripping us off!

（小声对罗斯说）什么！这简直是宰人！

Ross

Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!

别担心！我有办法把钱赚回来！这家酒店设施多，免费东西多，我们多拿点就行！比如那些苹果，别拿一个，直接拿六个！

Chandler

Great, at a hundred dollars an apple, we're there!

好啊，一个苹果一百美元，这下回本了！

Ross

C'mon, you get the idea, ow-ow-ow we'll make our money back in no time!

你懂我的意思，我们很快就能把钱赚回来！

Chandler

Dude, you're shaking!

你都激动得发抖了！

Ross

I think it's the sugar, could you hold the apple?

应该是糖吃多了，你帮我拿一下苹果呗？

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!

乔伊，我跟你说，我一整天都在想你演的那场戏，你演得太棒了！

Joey

Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!

害，剧本写得好，导演也厉害，搭档演得也不错，但都没我好！

Rachel

God, you have to tell me what happens tomorrow!

天啊，你得告诉我明天剧情怎么发展！

Joey

Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?

我正看剧本呢！要不要跟我对台词？

Rachel

Me? Oh, no, I am not an actress.

我？不了，我又不是演员。

Joey

Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.

行吧，那我找莫妮卡。

Rachel

Oh screw her, that part is mine!

别找她，我来！

Joey

Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.

行吧……（停顿）好，从这页开头开始，就这儿。

Rachel

Okay. (pause) . (acting) Hello Drake, I'm surprised to see you here.

好的。（停顿，入戏）你好德雷克，没想到在这儿见到你。

Joey/Drake

I can't believe you married him.

乔伊/德雷克：我不敢相信你嫁给了他。

Rachel/actress

But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!

瑞秋/女演员：我别无选择啊，他把我妹妹关在地牢里！

Joey/Drake

So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.

乔伊/德雷克：那我们呢？我们对彼此的感情算什么？

Rachel/actress

It's over! You have to accept that.

瑞秋/女演员：都结束了！你得接受现实。

Joey/Drake

How can I? Knowing I'll never hold you in my arms again, or touch your skin, or feel your lips, knowing I'll never make love to you? How can I accept that... I can never kiss you again when it's all I can do not to kiss you right now.

乔伊/德雷克：我怎么接受？想到再也不能把你拥入怀中，抚摸你的肌肤，感受你的唇，再也不能和你温存，我怎么接受……明明现在就想吻你，却再也不能吻你。

Rachel

(pause) Kiss me.

（停顿）吻我。

Joey

What?

什么？

Rachel

Kiss me.

吻我。

Joey

Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that!

瑞秋，剧本里没这句！

Rachel

No, I'm saying...

不是，我是说……

Joey

but, but..

但是……

Rachel

just... don't talk... (she kisses him)

别说话……（吻了乔伊）

Rachel

(waking up) Ehhh, aw! (pause) . Well, that's new!

（醒来）呃！（停顿）这可真新鲜！

Ross

(on the phone) Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206. It seems you forgot a couple of things. Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room? (pause) Thank you! Ok. Toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band aids, shaving cream, after shave... and I feel like I am forgetting something... Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already? (pause) Yeah, go ahead, send up some tampons.

（打电话）你好，我是206套房的罗斯·盖勒。你们好像漏了些东西，能送点免费洗漱用品上来吗？（停顿）谢谢！牙刷、牙膏、剃须刀、漱口水、止汗剂、牙线、创可贴、剃须膏、须后水……好像还漏了点……还有什么我没要的？（停顿）行，再送点卫生棉条。

(Chandler enters the room)

（钱德走进房间）

Ross

What did you get?

你拿了什么？

Chandler

USA Today

《今日美国》。

Ross

Nice, put it with the others.

不错，和其他放一起。

Chandler

And I also got... two more apples.

我还拿了……两个苹果。

Ross

We are four short of a bush-o (pause) . God I feel so alive, I love being in the country!

还差四个就能凑成一小堆了！（停顿）太开心了，我太喜欢乡下了！

Chandler

I also got this great salt and pepper shaker from the restaurant.

我还从餐厅拿了个超好看的盐胡椒罐。

Ross

Oh, that's not cool.

这不太好吧。

Chandlers

Dude, none of this is cool.

这些事本来就都不太好。

Ross

No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.

不是，钱德，你得分清偷东西和拿酒店该给你的东西。比如吹风机不能拿，但洗发水护发素可以。（停顿）盐罐不能拿，但盐……（打开盐罐把盐倒手里）早知道就不多想了。

Chandler

I think I know what you mean though... the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb) ... oh, you already got that.

我懂你的意思……台灯是酒店的，但灯泡……（伸手想拿灯泡）哦，你已经拿了。

Ross

Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.

我又不是第一次住酒店了。

Chandler

Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control) ?

那这个呢？（拿起遥控器）

Ross

No, no, no, you can't take the remote control!

不行不行，遥控器不能拿！

Chandler

Yes, but the batteries...

但电池可以……

(Ross claps his hands)

（罗斯拍手）

Chandler

Thank you, thank you very much!

谢谢，非常感谢！

Ross

Let's celebrate with some maple candy!

吃点枫糖庆祝一下！

Chandler

No!

不要！

Ross

At least tell me where you hid it.

至少告诉我藏哪儿了。

Rachel

Can I ask you a question?

我能问你个问题吗？

Monica

Yeah.

问吧。

Rachel

Have you ever had any weird romantic dreams?

你做过奇怪的春梦吗？

Monica

Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.

我想想。小时候梦到自己嫁给了麦当劳叔叔，新婚之夜把他的头吃了。

Rachel

Ok, well this is like that... in no way. I had a... I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.

好吧，我的梦和这个……完全不一样。我昨晚梦到自己想吻乔伊。

Monica

Wow, do you mean like kiss him-kiss him?

哇，是那种真的吻他的吻吗？

Rachel

Oh yeah! I mean, that was pretty intense.

对！特别激烈。

Monica

What do you think brought than on?

你觉得为什么会做这种梦？

Rachel

I don't know! I mean, maybe that's something to do with the fact that I saw him do a love scene yesterday.

不知道！可能是因为昨天看他演了一场爱情戏。

Monica

A love scene? With who?

爱情戏？和谁？

Rachel

Olivia.

奥莉维亚。

Monica

Olivia? I thought she was marrying Connor! (pause) Oh right, real life more important.

奥莉维亚？她不是要嫁给康纳吗！（停顿）算了，现实不重要。

Rachel

So do you think that my dream means anything?

你觉得我的梦有什么寓意吗？

Monica

I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.

不好说。你看他演爱情戏，说不定你不是喜欢乔伊，是喜欢德雷克这个角色。

Rachel

Ah! Well it was Joey reading Drake's lines in the dream...

啊！梦里念德雷克台词的是乔伊啊……

Monica

Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.

那可不！相信我，心理学我懂。大学我修了两门心理学课。

Rachel

You took the same class twice.

同一门课修了两遍吧。

Monica

It was hard!

那课很难的！

(Phoebe comes in)

（菲比走进来）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel and Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Phoebe

Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.

莫妮卡，你看我去餐厅唱歌穿的（戴上高顶礼帽）等下！（戴上眼镜）怎么样？这样唱《未割包皮男人之歌》都显得高雅了。

Monica

Oh... Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.

菲比，可能我之前没说清楚。我很喜欢听你在这儿唱歌，但我的餐厅是高档场所。

Phoebe

Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.

行，我让管家去金库拿我的钻石。

Monica

Phoebe, it's not what you wear. It's sort of your songs... I just don't think you should play at the restaurant anymore.

不是穿着的问题，是你的歌……我觉得你别在餐厅门口唱了。

Phoebe

Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot) .

行吧，我把帽子收起来。（把帽子塞进包里，生气地用脚踩烂）

(silence)

（沉默）

Rachel

Hey, so you guys, the funniest thing happened, at work...

跟你们说，我上班遇到件超好笑的事……

Phoebe

My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?

我的歌配不上你的餐厅是吧？

Rachel

Ok, we're still on that.

还在纠结这事呢。

Monica

I didn't say your songs were not good enough.

我没说你的歌不好。

Phoebe

Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?

那是怎么了？配不上你那些分量小又装腔作势的菜？

Monica

Tiny portions?

分量小？

Phoebe

Yeah well, "excuse me, I ordered the smoked salmon appetizer, but (peering through her spectacles) I can't see it, I can't see it"!

可不是嘛，“不好意思，我点的烟熏三文鱼前菜，（眯眼）我怎么看不见啊！”

Monica

Phoebe, it's not about quantity.

菲比，这不是分量的问题。

Phoebe

Well... it's not about quality.

那……也不是质量的问题。

Monica

Oh really, you want to talk about quality? Have you heard of a key? It's what some people sing in.

是吗？你要聊质量？你知道音调吗？唱歌得有音调。

Phoebe

Well at least all my songs don't taste like garlic. Yeah, there are other ingredients Monica.

至少我的歌不会一股大蒜味。做菜除了大蒜，还有别的食材呢，莫妮卡。

Monica

Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.

行，你非要这么说。我在咖啡馆听你唱歌跟着晃的时候，都戴着耳塞。

Phoebe

Ear plugs, or cloves of garlic?

耳塞，还是大蒜瓣？

Monica

You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.

算了，我收回刚才的话。你继续在餐厅门口唱，你的歌把顾客都逼进店里了，吧台销量暴涨。

Phoebe

What are people having, the garlic Martini?

顾客都喝什么？大蒜马天尼吗？

Receptionist

Here's your copy of the bill, we hope you enjoyed your stay.

这是您的账单，希望您入住愉快。

Chandler

Oh we did, and you still have all your lamps.

很愉快，你们的台灯都还在。

(the receptions is puzzled. She goes in the back. )

（前台一脸疑惑，走进后台）

Chandler

Oh, I didn't factor in the room tax.

忘了算房间税了。

Ross

Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.

别担心，我发现一辆没人管的保洁车，我们赚翻了。

(they make as if to go, but Ross notices something)

（两人准备走，罗斯突然看到什么）

Ross

Oh my god.

天啊。

Chandler

What?

怎么了？

Ross

There's something new in the bowl.

碗里多了新东西。

Chandler

Look, we have enough, just walk away.

够多了，走吧。

Ross

No, but I want... I want the pinecones!

不行，我想要……松果！

Chandler

There's a forest right outside.

外面就是森林。

Ross

It's not the same.

不一样。

Chandler

Ok, go quick!

行，快点拿！

(Ross starts stuffing pinecones in the suitcase. As the receptionist walks in, Chandler makes a bird's verse and Ross stops)

（罗斯把松果塞进行李箱，前台回来时，钱德学鸟叫提醒，罗斯停下动作）

Ross

(to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay.

（对前台说）谢谢你们的招待，住得很开心。

(he picks up the suitcase, which falls open, revealing all the stuff they have taken from the hotel. The receptionist just looks at them. )

（拿起行李箱，箱子突然打开，里面装的酒店东西全掉出来，前台盯着他们）

Ross

Oh, my maple candy!

哦，我的枫糖！

Phoebe

(singing) Food here at 'Javu'.. will kill you.. the food here at 'Javu' ... will kill you..

（唱歌）雅福餐厅的菜~ 会吃死人~ 雅福餐厅的菜~ 会吃死人~

(Monica comes out)

（莫妮卡走出来）

Monica

Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.

谢天谢地，是你！我还以为有人拿一袋猫往墙上甩呢。

Phoebe

You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.

赶紧回厨房吧莫妮卡，大蒜可不会自己用多。

Monica

Ok, you have to stop playing now.

别唱了。

Phoebe

Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!

凭什么？我唱歌只吵到你一个人！

Monica

Oh yeah? Ok, let's settle this, come on!

是吗？好，我们解决这事，进来！

Phoebe

(while Monica drags her in the restaurant) Get your garlic-peelers off me!

（被莫妮卡拉进餐厅）别用你剥大蒜的手碰我！

Monica

(to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller.. I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something) .. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)

觉得外面这位女士唱歌吵的，举手？（几个人举手）

Phoebe

Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!

好，觉得她唱歌好听的举手？（几个人举手）看！

Monica

Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again) .

好，觉得歌还行，但和餐厅格调不符的举手？（又几个人举手）

Phoebe

Ok, well, who identified the tone of this restaurant as pretentious comma garlicky?

好，谁觉得这家餐厅格调是“装腔作势、满是大蒜味”？

Monica

Ok who thinks the food is delicious and a little pretention never hurt anyone? (a few raise their hands)

觉得菜好吃，偶尔装装腔也没事的举手？（几个人举手）

Phoebe

Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands) .

觉得菜还行、歌也还行，但今晚被没完没了的投票毁了的举手？（所有人举手）

Monica

Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)

谁因为太在意餐厅的档次，跟朋友唱歌的事小题大做，现在很后悔？（自己举手）

Phoebe

Oh... Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friend's cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)

哦……谁又笨又固执，吐槽朋友的厨艺，其实觉得对方做菜超好吃？（自己举手）

Monica

I'm sorry...

对不起……

Phoebe

I'm sorry too... (they hug)

我也对不起……（两人拥抱）

Monica

ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?

要不要留下来，我给你做晚饭？

Phoebe

Yeah! As long as it's free! Food here is ridiculously over-p...

好啊！免费就行！这里的菜贵得离谱……

(Monica seems to take it amiss)

（莫妮卡有点不高兴）

Phoebe

(smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?

（笑着举手）谁希望刚才举手的事还能算可爱，你别生我气？

Rachel

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?

乔伊，你后脑勺上沾花生酱了？

Joey

(Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!

（摸后脑勺，舔手指）天啊，我以为擦干净了！

Rachel

(looks puzzled) How... how... ?

（疑惑地）怎么会沾到……

Joey

I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?

我在做花生酱奶昔。

Rachel

uh-huh

嗯。

Joey

And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender... and I thought... well... how important can that be, right... ? Turns out very!

找不到搅拌机上面的小塑料盖子，我就想……这东西能有多重要？结果超重要！

Rachel

(to herself) Wow... definitely just Drake...

（自言自语）果然我喜欢的是德雷克……

Joey

What?

你说什么？

Rachel

What... how is it going with Drake?

没什么……德雷克的戏进展怎么样？

Joey

Oh... I don't think it's going very well...

不太顺利吧……

Rachel

What... that scene I saw was so good!

不会吧，我看那场戏超棒的！

Joey

Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...

明天要拍的那场戏，我特别没底气。

Rachel

Joey, is this that thing that you do when you say you're bad so I'll give you a compliment?

乔伊，你是不是又故意说自己不行，等我夸你？

Joey

A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.

有点吧。但我是真担心，我得演得像真的爱上奥莉维亚才行。

Rachel

So?

这有什么难的？

Joey

So... I've never played that!

我从没演过这种戏！

Rachel

Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before?

亲爱的，没那么难吧，你以前也爱过别人啊？

Joey

Uh... well... just once... with you...

呃……爱过一次……就是你……

Rachel

Ok... this could be a little awkward... I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance?

好吧……有点尴尬，我们跳过这段……你不能用体验派演员的方法，用真实回忆代入角色吗？

Joey

(looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about? ?

（看了她一会儿）你在说什么啊？

Rachel

(shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.

（摇头）行吧，你就回忆一下恋爱时的感觉，演戏的时候想着那种感觉就行。

Joey

(approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.

（恍然大悟）哦！好，我明白了。有一场派对戏，奥莉维亚和她丈夫都在，德雷克特别想拉过她吻她，但不能……这让我想起以前很多次，我想拉过你吻你，你却不知道，我只能假装没事，其实心里难受得要死。

Rachel

(looks touched) Joey, you never.. you never talked about that before...

（感动）乔伊，你从没跟我说过这些……

Joey

Well.. hey, you know what else I could use? There's a scene where Drake sneaks into Olivia's bedroom, and she doesn't know he's there - which never happened with us! And he knows he shouldn't be there, but he just wants to look at her... you know? (In a romantic voice) And I remember all those mornings before you even put on your make-up, when I would think to myself, my God, she... is... beautiful... (Rachel looks very moved) and it hurts so much, cuz I knew I could never tell you (pauses, while looking at her with sentiment) but it was worth it just to be there looking at you.

我还能想起别的，有一场戏德雷克溜进奥莉维亚的卧室，她不知道他在——我们从没这样过！他知道不该在那儿，就只想看着她。（深情语气）我记得以前好多早上，你还没化妆，我就觉得，天啊，她……太……美了……（瑞秋深受感动）心里特别难受，因为我知道永远不能告诉你，但只要能看着你，一切都值得。

(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)

（两人对视沉默了一会儿）

Joey

(excited) Thanks dude!!! This is GREAT!!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)

（兴奋）太谢谢你了！太棒了！（留下感动的瑞秋坐在沙发上，自己走进房间）

Closing credits

片尾字幕

Chandler

I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)

我从佛蒙特给你带了礼物！（坐在桌边）

Monica

(without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird... it's empty!

（头也不抬）除了卫生棉条和盐？（抬头）天啊！枫糖！你真好。（打开盒子）奇怪……空的！

(Then Ross enters)

（罗斯走进来）

Ross

(sounds excited) Hi you guys! what's going on, you... you guys wanna hang out... or... ? (Looks around the room nervously) do you... do you guys hear a buzzing?

（兴奋）嘿大家！干嘛呢，要不要一起玩……？（紧张地环顾四周）你们……听到嗡嗡声了吗？

The End

剧终