The One With The Lottery

Joey

Monica, hey, can I borrow the Porsche?

莫妮卡，嘿，能借我保时捷开开吗？

Monica

Ok.

好。

Joey

Alright!

太棒了！

Monica

But ehm...what is it not?

不过呢……有什么规矩？

Joey

(abashed) A place to entertain my lady friends.

（不好意思地）不能在车里和我的女性朋友鬼混。

Monica

And what else is it not?

还有呢？

Joey

(even more abashed) A place to eat spaghetti.

（更不好意思地）不能在车里吃意面。

Monica

Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?

很好！（把钥匙给他）你借车到底干嘛？

Joey

Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...

哦，强力球彩票奖金涨到3亿了，纽约这边不卖，所以……

Rachel

Oh! So you're driving up to Connecticut?

哦！所以你要开车去康涅狄格州？

Joey

(hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.

（犹豫了一下）对，康涅狄格……不是西弗吉尼亚。

Monica

Hey, maybe I'll drive you up there! I'd like to buy some tickets myself!

嘿，要不我开车送你去！我也想买几张彩票！

Joey

Uh!

呃！

Monica

Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.

是啊，钱德现在没收入，3亿对我们来说太有用了。

Chandler

Yeah, because if I was at my old job we'd say 300 million? No thank you!

可不是嘛，要是我还在老工作，我们会说3亿？不用了，谢谢！

Phoebe

Hey will you get me tickets too?

嘿，也帮我带几张？

Rachel

Yeah me too. oh! I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it!

我也要。哦！我有个主意。不如我们每人出50美元，凑钱一起买，中奖了就平分！

Everyone almost simultaneously except Ross

yeah thats a great idea!

好主意！

Ross

No thanks!

不了，谢谢！

Phoebe

You don't wanna win the lottery?

你不想中彩票？

Ross

(in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.

（调侃地）呃……当然想啊，我还想当自己国家的国王，解开阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特失踪之谜呢。

Chandler

Still on Amelia Earhart?

还惦记着阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特呢？

Ross

The woman just vanished!

那女人凭空消失了！

Joey

Seriously, Ross, you don't want in on this?

说真的，罗斯，你真不加入？

Ross

No! Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I...I mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.

不！你们知道中彩票的概率有多低吗？我是说，你们被闪电劈中42次的概率都比中彩票高。

Chandler

Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.

是啊，但我们有六个人，平均每人只要被劈7次就行。

Joey

I like those odds!

这概率我喜欢！

Ross

Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.

说真的，我不敢相信你们要花250美元买彩票，简直是瞎胡闹。

Chandler

(looking around at the others)I'll ask. (To Ross) Boohaki?

（看向其他人）我来问问。（对罗斯）瞎胡闹？

Ross

Oh oh, we think Emma is about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.

哦，我们觉得爱玛快要学说话了，所以在她面前说话都很注意用词。

Rachel

Yeah so get ready to hear alot of ehm...boohaki, goshdarnit and brotherpucker.

是啊，所以接下来你们会经常听到……瞎胡闹、该死和见鬼这类词。

Monica

How do you know she's gonna start talking?

你们怎么知道她要学说话了？

Rachel

Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.

我跟她说话的时候，总感觉她能听懂。

Chandler

Kinda like Joey.

有点像乔伊。

Joey

(who wasn't paying attention)What's that now?

（没注意听）你说啥？

Monica

God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade.

天呐！这么多彩票！太刺激了！我从六年级之后就没中过任何奖。

Chandler

Pie eating contest?

吃派比赛？

Monica

Oh! You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?

哦！你就因为我以前胖，就觉得我只能靠吃派赢奖？

Chandler

No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.

不是，我见过你满身蓝莓的照片。

Monica

(smiling)That was a good day!

（笑着）那天可开心了！

(Suddenly Ross comes running into the apartment)

（罗斯突然冲进公寓）

Ross

(yelling to Monica)They're towing your car, they're towing your car!!

（冲莫妮卡大喊）你的车被拖走了，你的车被拖走了！！

Monica

I'm parked in a garage on Morton!

我停在莫顿街的车库里啊！

Ross

(panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.

（气喘吁吁）他们在拖车。我都眼冒金星了。

Joey

(sounding panicky)Oh my god Ross! You don't have Emma! And Rachel you don't have Emma! (Starts yelling) Where's Emma? Who has Emma!?

（慌张地）天呐罗斯！你没带着爱玛！瑞秋你也没带爱玛！（大喊）爱玛呢？谁带着爱玛呢！？

Rachel

Joey relax! My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there!

乔伊别慌！我妈两小时前就把她接走了。你当时也在！

Joey

(not yelling anymore)I was?

（不再大喊）我在吗？

Rachel

Yes and you talked to her...

是啊，你还跟她说话了……

Joey

I did?

我说了？

Rachel

She dropped off a casserole?

她还送了焙盘菜来？

Joey

Oh yeah! The casserole lady.

哦对！送焙盘菜的阿姨。

Monica

(to Ross)So, did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?

（对罗斯）所以你是来看我们中大奖的？

Ross

Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!

是啊，呃……我还想着你们中奖后，我们可以去阳台，看小魔怪在夜空的彩虹上跳舞呢！

(phone starts ringing and Chandler comes running out of the bathroom)

（电话响了，钱德从浴室跑出来）

Chandler

(hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)

（激动地）别碰电话！我来接，我来接，我来接！！（接起电话）

Ross

(to Monica)Think he washed his hands?

（对莫妮卡）他洗手了吗？

Chandler

(into receiver)Hello? Hey Charlie, what do you know?

（对着电话）喂？嘿查理，有消息吗？

Rachel

(to Monica)What's going on?

（对莫妮卡）怎么了？

Monica

Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.

钱德在等广告公司助理职位的结果。15个实习生里只招3个。

Joey

Ooh! Tough odds!

哦！概率很低啊！

Ross

(mockingly)Yeah if only it were a sure thing like your 24 state lottery!

（调侃地）是啊，哪像你们跨24个州的彩票，稳赢呢！

Joey

(smiling)Look who's coming around!

（笑着）你这不也心动了嘛！

Chandler

(still on the phone)Damnit. Alright call me when you know more.

（还在打电话）该死。有消息了再打给我。

Joey

(excited)Did you get it?

（兴奋地）你被录取了？

Chandler

One of the slots got filled.

一个名额被占了。

Joey

(Still excited)By you!?

（依旧兴奋）是你吗？

Chandler

Sense the tone! No that kid Nate got it.

听我语气就知道了！不是，是那个叫内特的小子。

Monica

Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!

哦！我讨厌那家伙！拜托，把裤子穿好行不行！

Chandler

Yeah I know.

可不是嘛。

Rachel

Well, there's two spots left right?

那还剩两个名额对吧？

Chandler

Yeah...I mean I want this so much! I mean, I wanna get one, I want my friend Charlie to get one...Except I don't care about Charlie.

是啊……我真的太想要这份工作了！我想被录取，也想我朋友查理被录取……不过我才不在乎查理呢。

(Phoebe enters)

（菲比走进来）

Phoebe

(excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!

（兴奋地）嘿大家！你们肯定不敢相信！我刚去找灵媒算了一卦，她说我今晚肯定能中彩票！

Monica

Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.

嘿这倒提醒我了，我想多沾点好运，就从餐厅带了根许愿骨回来。

Ross

(mockingly)A psychic AND a wishbone? Guys! Give someone else a chance!

（调侃地）又找灵媒又用许愿骨？你们给别人留点机会吧！

Monica

Alright, who wants to do it?

好了，谁来掰？

Phoebe

Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!

我来行吗？素食者从来没机会掰许愿骨，太不公平了！我们不吃肉，不代表我们不想玩骨头啊！

Monica

Ok, hey Rach?

好，瑞秋你来吗？

Rachel

Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.

不了，我才不要满手火鸡味呢。

Joey

I'll do it!! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine.

我来！正好去掉我手上的焙盘菜味。

(Phoebe and Joey both grab one side of the wishbone)

（菲比和乔伊一人抓住许愿骨的一头）

Phoebe

I hope I win!

希望我赢！

Monica

Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right?

其实无所谓啦……你们俩许的愿肯定一样，对吧？

Joey

I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!

我不能说！说了就不灵了！

Monica

Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for!

没错！但我们都知道你许的什么愿！

Joey

Can't really say!

就是不能说！

Monica

I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you?

我懂，但你许的愿就是我们想的那个，对不对？

Joey

(slightly irritated)I'm not really comfortable with these questions!

（有点不耐烦）你这么问我很不舒服！

Rachel, Chandler and Monica: Please, just do it!

快掰吧！

Phoebe

One, two, three!

一、二、三！

(they break the wishbone)

（两人把许愿骨掰断）

Joey

I won, hey!

我赢啦！

Ross

You know what, I'm sure your wish is gonna come true, but, you guys - just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp! (rubs lamp, stops because it's very hot) Ah!! That thing gets hot!!

我相信你的愿望会实现，但以防万一，我们擦擦这盏灯，说不定会蹦出个精灵呢！（擦了擦灯，因为太烫停手）啊！好烫！

Rachel

You know, Ross, just keep making your jokes. How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?

罗斯，你就继续取笑我们吧。要是我们真中了，你会是什么心情？

Ross

Uh, you're not gonna win.

呃，你们中不了。

Rachel

Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"

我知道概率低，但总得有人中奖吧，说不定就是我们呢！到时候你怎么想？我们会说“大家开直升机去海角玩吧”，而你只能说“我去不了，我得先给我的现代车加油，晚点再去找你们”。

Ross

Ok, I've heard myself on tape and I sound nothing like that.

我听过自己的录音，我说话才不是那样。

Chandler

I can see the headline now: "Lottery winners' friend filled with regret eats own arm".

《彩票中奖者友人悔恨不已，竟啃掉自己手臂》。

Ross

Why would I eat my own arm?

我干嘛要啃自己手臂？

Chandler

Well you wouldn't, but we own the paper, we can print whatever we want.

你当然不会，但我们有钱了能买下报社，想怎么写就怎么写。

Monica

You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.

罗斯，我帮你出50美元。

Ross

Why?

为什么？

Monica

Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.

我知道你觉得买彩票是瞎胡闹，但大家都在这儿等着开奖，一起图个开心。你是我弟弟，我想让你也参与进来。

Ross

You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)

不用，我自己出就行。你愿意让我一起开心，真好！过来抱抱。（两人拥抱亲吻）

Phoebe

Get a room!

要亲热去别的地方！

Chandler

Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?

好了，你也入伙了，要是我们中奖了你打算干嘛？

Ross

I don't know, probably just invest it.

不知道，可能就拿去投资吧。

Chandler

Ooh! Calm down ...

哦！别这么淡定……

Joey

Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?

说真的，你的梦想就是拿去投资？

Ross

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)

抱歉，我说投资，其实是想说潇洒地把钱全花光。（乔伊和钱德满意地笑了）

Joey

Ooh, ooh, I know! We should pool all own money and buy the Knicks!

哦，我知道了！我们凑钱买下尼克斯队吧！

Rachel

I don't really care about the Knicks.

我才不在乎尼克斯队呢。

Joey

Oh, you will when I pick you as starting forward.

我让你当首发前锋，你就在乎了。

Rachel

(touched) You would do that? I never get picked!

（感动）你真会这么做？我从来没被选上过！

Chandler

You know, I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.

我觉得买球队不太靠谱。

Joey

You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!

你不让我买尼克斯队？！你居然要夺走我的梦想！

Chandler

You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.

可不是嘛，这梦想你才坚持了15秒。

Ross

(to Rachel) Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?

（对瑞秋）呃，还有多久开奖啊，妈咪？

(pause)

（停顿）

Chandler

(looks around) I'll take this one too (to Ross) Uh ... Mommy?

（环顾四周）我也来插一句，（对罗斯）呃……妈咪？

Ross

Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy" when we're around Emma. Which I now realize we are not ...

哦，我在爱玛身边习惯叫瑞秋妈咪了。现在才反应过来，爱玛不在这儿……

Rachel

I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.

我希望她听多了，第一个词就是妈咪。

Ross

Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too.

那我们也该叫我爹地。

Phoebe

Oooh, I like that, "daddy" (in a sexy tone)

哦，我喜欢，爹地。（语气暧昧）

Ross

I ... I was just talking about Rachel.

我……我只是说叫我爹地。

Phoebe

(still in sexy tone) Oooh, is daddy getting angry? Is daddy gonna spank me?

（依旧暧昧）哦，爹地生气了？要打我屁股吗？

Ross

(tries to be sexy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't.

（也学着暧昧）那要看……你乖不乖……（停下）不行，我做不到。

(Phone rings, Chandler picks up)

（电话响了，钱德接起）

Chandler

Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)

喂？喂？哦，嘿查理。其他人录取了吗？……什么？苏珊录取了？怎么会？天呐，我早知道就跟他上床了！……好吧，再见。（挂电话）

Joey

Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?

兄弟，太可惜了。不过还剩一个名额对吧？

Chandler

Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.

没有了，查理会拿到最后一个名额。

Monica

Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!

别这么说！你和其他人机会一样大！

Chandler

He's the boss's son.

他是老板的儿子。

Monica

Come on, lottery!! (everybody cheers)

别想了，看彩票吧！（众人欢呼）

Rachel

Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes.

哦，还有20分钟就开奖了。

Monica

Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.

分成6份，每份40张，剩下10张，谁先核对完自己那份就谁来核对。

Rachel

Ooh, I have another idea!

哦，我有个办法！

Monica

I'm sorry, idea time is over.

抱歉，出主意时间结束了。

Phoebe

Ok, well, are all the tickets in the bowl?

好了，彩票都放碗里了吗？

Monica

Yeah.

嗯。

Chandler

What about the ones you have on the nightstand?

床头柜上的那些呢？

Monica

There are no tickets on the nightstand!

床头柜上没有彩票！

Chandler

Yes there are, I just saw them a few minutes ago.

有的，我几分钟前刚看到。

(Rachel get suspicious)

（瑞秋起了疑心）

Monica

Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken!

呃，你看错了！肯定是错觉！

Chandler

Honey, there are like 20 tickets on the nightstand!

亲爱的，床头柜上大概有20张！

Monica

Chandler, sense the tone!!

钱德，听我语气！

(Rachel comes out of their bedroom waving tickets)

（瑞秋从卧室出来，手里晃着彩票）

Rachel

Well, well, well, look what mommy found!!

哟哟哟，看看妈咪发现了什么！

(everyone's shocked)

（众人震惊）

Monica

Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.

好吧，我承认！我多买了20张，我和钱德的。

Phoebe

Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed.

呃！灵媒还说我会被背叛呢。

Ross

I can't believe this, I thought we were all in this together!

难以置信，我还以为我们是一起的！

Monica

Hey, you just got in 5 minutes ago!

你5分钟前才入伙的！

Ross

3 minutes ago!!! I don't know why that's important ...

3分钟前！！我都不知道这有什么区别……

Joey

I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?

去康涅狄格的时候我一直跟你在一起，你什么时候偷偷买的？

Monica

When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!

你在看没拆塑封的色情杂志的时候！

Joey

(to Ross) I'll show you how.

（对罗斯）我教你怎么看。

Rachel

Ok, well Monica, suppose one of your "special" tickets win? How are you gonna feel when you win the lottery and you lose all your friends?

莫妮卡，要是你这些“专属”彩票中了呢？赢了彩票却失去所有朋友，你会怎么想？

Monica

Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!

拜托……我中了奖你们才不会离开我呢。上周有人送我一篮小松饼，你们黏了我三天都不走！

Rachel

Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?

钱德，你倒是说说她这么做不对啊？

Chandler

(to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...

（对莫妮卡）她说得对，你不该只给我们俩买……

Monica

Ahhh! (shocked)

啊！（震惊）

Chandler

Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)

让我说完……（对其他人）不过我工作看样子没戏了，我讲不起原则，去你们的，这些彩票是我们的！！（从瑞秋手里抢过彩票）

Monica

There's the man I married!!

这才是我嫁的男人！！

Rachel

All right, believe me.If you win the lottery, it's the last you're gonna hear from us!

行，等着瞧。你要是中了奖，我们就跟你绝交！

Monica

Fine! Don't be my friends! I'll buy new friends! Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they'd look just like you!

绝交就绝交！我可以买新朋友！然后花钱给他们整容，整得跟你们一模一样！

Rachel

(surprised) OH! Alright, you know what? That's it! I want my share of the tickets (picks up the bowl)!

（惊讶）哦！行，够了！我要拿回我那份彩票。（拿起装彩票的碗）

Joey

Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!

我也要拿回我的！（从瑞秋手里抢过碗）我还要买尼克斯队！还有施泰菲·格拉芙，哈哈！

Ross

Than I want mine, too (takes the bowl from Joey)! And if I win I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond.

我也要我的！（从乔伊手里抢过碗）我要是中了，就把钱全买低收益债券。

Phoebe

Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)

哎呀！我们得把彩票放一起。（从罗斯手里拿过碗放在桌上）

Monica

No, no! We should divide them up (picks up the bowl) and I should get extra because we used my card to buy them!

不行！必须分开！（拿起碗）而且得给我多一份，因为是用我的卡买的！

Joey

Hey, if anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me! This all thing was my idea! (takes the bowl from Monica)

要多拿也该是我！买彩票是我提出来的！（从莫妮卡手里抢过碗）

Chandler

Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!

可不是嘛，谢谢你发明了彩票！

Rachel

Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)

够了！给我！我来分！（想从乔伊手里抢碗没抢到，就掐了乔伊的乳头，成功抢过碗）

Joey

(in pain) Oh!

（疼得大叫）哦！

Phoebe

(she takes the bowl from Rachel's hands and she starts running around the room and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH!

（从瑞秋手里拿过碗，在屋里边跑边喊）哦哦哦哦哦！

Ross

(trying to stop her) Hey, hey!!

（想拦住她）嘿，别跑！

Phoebe

(keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)

（继续跑着喊）哦哦哦哦哦！（停下）够了，我受不了了！我来结束这一切！（跑到阳台）

Rachel

Oh, if she jumps, I get her tickets.

她要是跳下去，她那份彩票归我。

Joey

No, no! (they all go towards the balcony but they get jammed in the window)

别别！（众人冲向阳台，挤在窗口）

Phoebe

If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street).

要么一起买，要么都别买！跟彩票说再见吧！（举起碗，做出要把彩票扔到街上的动作）

Everyone

NO!!

不要！！

Phoebe

Don't come any closer!

别过来！

Chandler

Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...

我靠近一点点行吗？贵重东西被挤到了……

Phoebe

No, what's more important, your friends or money?

不行，朋友和钱哪个重要？

Everyone but Monica

Friends!

朋友！

Monica

Money! (they all look at her) Friends...

钱！（众人看向她）朋友……

Phoebe

Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?

莫妮卡，你多买的那些彩票呢？

Monica

They're all in there! Even these five that I hid in my bra (takes some tickets out of her bra and gives them to Phoebe)...

都在碗里了！还有这五张藏在胸罩里的。（从胸罩里掏出彩票递给菲比）

Ross

Monica!

莫妮卡！

Phoebe

Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.

好了！（停顿）你们吓成那样！我才不会扔呢……（一只鸽子俯冲下来，菲比受惊把碗掉在街上）天呐，不要！（停顿）碗好像摔碎了。

Ross

Go, go, go!!

快去捡！！

(All are returning from the street after picking up dropped lottery tickets)

（众人从街上捡完掉落的彩票回来）

Phoebe

What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets. And the wind sure made it fun.

今晚真美好，满街跑着捡彩票，风一吹更有意思了。

Monica

Phoebe, we lost half of them.

菲比，我们丢了一半彩票。

Phoebe

So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?

那又怎样？我们肯定有中奖的！灵媒说我会中奖，忘了吗？

Ross

Weird.. your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon...

奇怪……你灵媒没说会有吓人的鸽子吧……

Phoebe

As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.

其实她说我会死于鸽子之手。（停顿）所以我才这么胆小。

Chandler

(looking at the answering machine) Hey, there's two messages. These could be from work!

（看向答录机）嘿，有两条留言，说不定是公司打来的！

Monica

Oh, play them!

快放！

Chandler

Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)

好，开始了！（按下播放键）

Message

(Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."

（菲比的声音）“你好。我是阳台那只鸽子，打电话来道歉。”（众人转头看向菲比）“我不该把漂亮小姐手里的彩票撞掉的。都是我的错，不是她的错。再见，咕咕。”

(they all keep staring at Phoebe)

（众人一直盯着菲比）

Phoebe

Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.

我猜鸽子鼓起了很大勇气才道歉的。

Second message

"Hey Chandler, it's Charlie"

“嘿钱德，我是查理”

Chandler

This is..shhh!

是……嘘！

Second Message

"Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."

“听着，呃……最后一个名额是我的了。真不好意思，跟你共事很开心，有空联系。”

Monica

Oh God, I am so sorry honey...

天呐，太可惜了亲爱的……

All

Oh, so sorry man! Sorry!

太可惜了！抱歉！

Rachel

Oh, it is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Sandra over me at work.

太不公平了，就像上次公司提拔桑德拉不提拔我一样。

Chandler

Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?

她是拉夫劳伦的亲戚？

Rachel

No, she was just much better at job than me!

不是，就是工作比我好太多！

Phoebe

Guys, the drawing is about to start!

大家，要开奖了！

Rachel

(To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.

（对罗斯）我们给我妈家打个电话，跟爱玛说晚安吧。

Ross

Oh yeah, it's a good idea!

好主意！

Monica

(she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.

（拥抱钱德）亲爱的，你已经很坚强了，我知道你多想要这份工作。

Chandler

Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?

是啊，我觉得我完全能胜任。（停顿）不过……我们还是看彩票吧，我们还有130次中奖机会呢，对吧？

Monica

(she draws out a ticket from a pocket of her pants) 131! (they kiss)

（从裤兜里掏出一张彩票）131次！（两人亲吻）

Ross

(on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)

（打电话）晚安宝贝！我爱你。记住，你是爸爸的小宝贝……（捂住电话，对瑞秋）菲比把这话全毁了……（把电话递给瑞秋）

Rachel

Hi mum, put her back on!

妈，把电话给爱玛！

Joey

(sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.

（坐在电视前的沙发上）瑞秋快过来！开奖了！天呐，我都感觉自己要变有钱人了。

TV

"Here we are, the official Powerball numbers! We have 53"

“现在公布强力球中奖号码！第一个是53”

Chandler

I got that!

我有这个号！

Ross

Oh, we have one too!!

我们也有！

Monica

We are on a roll, people!!

好运连连啊大家！！

Ross

(calling Rachel) Come on!!

（喊瑞秋）快过来！

Rachel

(on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?

（打电话）妈，拜托！我知道你新做的嘴唇很漂亮，但我都听不懂你说什么！让我跟女儿说句话行不行？

TV

"And number 29! Here we go! The Powerball is 7"

“接下来是29！强力球号码是7”

Monica

Check your numbers! Make me rich!

快核对号码！让我变有钱！

Rachel

(she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!

（兴奋地走向众人）大家，你们肯定不敢相信！我刚跟爱玛说晚安，她开口说第一个词了！

All

Wow!

哇！

Joey

And what did she say?

她说什么了？

Rachel

She said "gleba"!! (she celebrates)

她说“gleba”！！（开心庆祝）

(they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets)

（众人愣了一下，继续核对彩票）

Monica

Make me rich!!

让我变有钱！！

Rachel

(to Ross) Isn't that amazing?

（对罗斯）是不是很厉害？

Ross

Oh yeah, no no no...that's great!

是啊，是挺厉害的！

Rachel

Why-why aren't you more excited?

你怎么一点都不激动？

Ross

Oh, Rach...oh..."gleba" is not a word.

瑞秋……“gleba”根本不是个词。

Rachel

Oh, but of course it is!

当然是！

Ross

Okay, what does it mean?

那是什么意思？

Rachel

I don't know all the words.

我又不是什么词都认识！

Ross

I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).

我只是庆幸没错过女儿说第一个词。（继续核对彩票）

Ross

Yes you did, gleba is a word!

你就是错过了，gleba就是个词！

Ross

Ok, use it in a sentence.

造个句。

Rachel

Ok... "Emma just said gleba"!

好……“爱玛刚说了gleba”！

Ross

It's not a word!

根本不是！

Rachel

Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary).

行行行，我查字典。（拿起字典）

Ross

Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....

好啊，顺便把她前几天说的pbbqqt也查查……

(Rachel glares at him)

（瑞秋瞪了他一眼）

Rachel

(searching the dictionary) Alright, okay, okay, gleba, gleba... (excited) Gleba! Ha! Here it is: the fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi.

（查字典）gleba……找到了！哈！意思是：某些真菌内部肉质的产孢子组织。

(Rachel shows Ross the definition on the dictionary, giving him a smug look; then she squints at the dictionary, as though unsure what to make out of it)

（瑞秋得意地把字典给罗斯看，随即又疑惑地看着字典）

Ross

She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)

她以后会成为科学家！（感动地亲了瑞秋额头）

Joey

(checking the last ticket) Damnit! anybody got anything?

（核对最后一张彩票）该死！有人中吗？

Chandler

No.

没有。

Phoebe

I'm still looking through mine...

我还在看……

Monica

Just double checking (does so)...no, no, no...(takes off a shoe and takes a ticket out of it) No!

再核对一遍……没有……（脱下鞋子掏出一张彩票）还是没有！

(phone rings)

（电话响了）

Monica

(answering phone) Hello? Hold on. It's your boss.

（接电话）喂？稍等，你老板打来的。

Chandler

Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.

哦，来跟我道歉的电话。还从没被男人这么安慰过。（起身接电话）嘿，史蒂夫。

Steve

Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.

钱德，你好！你应该知道三个助理名额都定了。我们觉得以你的成熟和经验，做助理太委屈你了。

Chandler

Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!

不不不，我很乐意做助理！接电话、倒咖啡，我超爱干这些！我也没多成熟……放屁、胸部、屁股缝！

Steve

Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.

钱德，你是实习生里最优秀的。我们想聘请你做初级文案。

Chandler

Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?

我？刚说屁股缝的那个？

Steve

Yes, that's right. We're excited about the level of sophistication you'll be bringing to the job.

没错，我们很期待你为这份工作带来的创意。

Chandler

Ok well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow (hangs up).

谢谢，你不会后悔的。明天见。（挂电话）

(he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him)

（他随意走回沙发，翻起杂志，众人盯着他）

Chandler

What? (pause) Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter.

怎么了？（停顿）哦，对了，我当上初级文案了。

Everybody

(excited) Oh my God, congratulations!

（兴奋）天呐，恭喜你！

Monica

Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you!

亲爱的，我太为你骄傲了！

Chandler

Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?

那今晚是不是有福利？

Monica

You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)

当然！不看电视了！（起身走向厨房）

Joey

(to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.

（对钱德）恭喜你找到好工作。

Chandler

Thanks, man.

谢谢兄弟。

Joey

And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.

我觉得我也帮了点忙。

Chandler

Really? What?

是吗？帮什么了？

Joey

Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.

之前掰许愿骨的时候，我没许愿中彩票，我许愿你能得到这份工作。

Chandler

(smiling, surprised) Oh yeah? (looks towards the kitchen, worried) Listen, don't tell Monica, she'll rip your heart right out.

（惊喜地笑）真的？（担忧地看向厨房）别告诉莫妮卡，她会扒了你的皮。

Joey

Oh yeah.

明白。

Rachel

You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.

说实话，我还真有点觉得我们会中奖。

Ross

Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.

我也是。我的恐龙和阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特主题公园泡汤了。

Phoebe

You guys, what was the Powerball number again?

大家，强力球号码是多少来着？

Monica and Ross

Seven.

7。

Phoebe

We won.

我们中了。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Phoebe

We won!

我们中奖了！

Monica

Let me see!

我看看！

(they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket)

（众人兴奋地跳起来，抢着看彩票）

Phoebe

Don't tear it.

别撕坏了。

Ross

Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers.

菲比，前五个号码你一个都没对上。

Phoebe

I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars!

我知道，但我们对上强力球号码了，赢了3美元！

Chandler

Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.

哇，要不要分20年领，还是一次性领？

Phoebe

(still very excited) I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this!

（依旧兴奋）我不在乎，我从来没中过奖，太不可思议了！

Rachel

So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3?

菲比，这3美元你打算怎么花？

Phoebe

It's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.

不是我一个人的，每人50美分。

Monica

You know what? You can have mine.

我的给你。

Chandler

Me too.

我也给你。

Joey

Me too.

我也给你。

Rachel

Me too.

我也给你。

(they all look at Ross)

（众人看向罗斯）

Ross

I guess if everybody else is...

大家都给，那我也……

(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)

（乔伊从咖啡馆后面走进来）

Joey

(sitting in a chair) Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline, can you believe it? Nobody won.

（坐下）嘿大家，我刚打了强力球热线，你们敢信吗？没人中头奖。

Phoebe

I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).

我不这么认为。（晃了晃手里的咖啡和饼干）

Gunther

Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found the ticket on the street, right outside, and won $10,000 (goes to the counter).

头奖是没人中，但刚才有个人在外面街上捡到一张彩票，中了1万美元。（走回收银台）

(They all glare evilly at Phoebe)

（众人恶狠狠地盯着菲比）

Phoebe

(hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.

（用杯子挡住嘴，模仿鸽子声音）咕咕，别怪漂亮小姐，不是她的错，是我鸽子干的，咕咕！（停顿）别盯着我了。

(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")

（乔伊傻乎乎地四处找“会说话的鸽子”）

End

剧终