The One With The Boob Job

Chandler

Did you see our bank statement? Could this be right?

你看到我们的银行账单了吗？这不会是真的吧？

Monica

I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?

是啊……天呐。我小时候双层夹心奥利奥刚出来的时候，存款都没跌得这么惨过。我们的钱都去哪了？

Chandler

I'm not sure what they did...but I'm inclined to blame [xxx?].

我也不清楚到底怎么回事……但我觉得该怪[某公司？]。

Monica

I guess with you doing the internship, we're spending more than we're bringing in.

我想是因为你在实习，我们现在入不敷出了。

Chandler

Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.

或许我该辞掉实习，找份有薪水的工作。

Monica

Oh...But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was...y'know...finding gold.

别啊……你好不容易做上自己喜欢的事！我不能让你放弃。不过要是你喜欢的事是……你懂的……淘金就好了。

Chandler

You know what? You know what? I think we're making too big a deal out of this. ok? So we pay our bills a little late this month. And maybe next month we cut back on a few things. And maybe we start eating out of Joey's refridgerator for a change. You're a chef...what can you make out of baking soda and beer?

你知道吗？我觉得我们有点小题大做了，好吗？无非就是这个月账单晚付几天，下个月省点开支。要不我们换换口味，去吃乔伊冰箱里的东西。你是厨师……用小苏打和啤酒能做出什么吃的？

Monica

Ok worse case scenario is...we borrow some money from my parents.

好吧，最坏的情况就是……我向我爸妈借点钱。

Chandler

No! We're not borrowing money.

不行！我们绝不借钱。

Monica

Why not?

为什么不行？

Chandler

Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was...well to always knock before going into the poolhouse...But the other thing was...never borrow money.

因为我们不做这种事。我们是宾家的人！我爸教过我两件事……一是进泳池小屋前一定要敲门，二就是……永远不要借钱。

Monica

Wow! I had no idea you had this much pride.

哇！我都不知道你这么有骨气。

Chandler

That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And i'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.

没错！我就是有！我是你老公，我会想办法渡过难关，就算要你加倍辛苦也没关系。

Mike

I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek.)

我得走了。（他亲吻菲比的脸颊。）

Phoebe

Why?

为什么？

Mike

I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get somemore clothes.

我好几天没回家了，得回去拿些衣服。

Phoebe

Oh...you don't have to go...I have something that will fit you.

哦……你不用走……我有衣服你能穿。

Mike

I put that tube top on as a joke.

我上次穿那件抹胸只是开玩笑。

Phoebe

I want you to stay.

我想让你留下来。

Mike

I want to stay too but I've got about as much out of these boxers as I can.

我也想留，但这条内裤我已经穿得不能再穿了。

Phoebe

Why don't you turn them inside out?

翻过来穿不就行了？

Mike

Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued.) I'll be back in a couple of hours.

已经翻过了。（菲比有点失落。）我几小时后就回来。

Phoebe

I'll miss you.

我会想你的。

Mike

Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.)

我也是。（他离开。片刻后，他又走进来。）

Mike

You know what? I just realized something. I don't wanna go home.

你知道吗？我刚想明白一件事，我不想回家了。

Phoebe

Great! Ok...I'll go get the tube top.

太好了！好……我去拿抹胸。

Mike

No, no! What I mean is...I hate going back to my apartment now...And partly because I live above a known crack den but...mostly because when I'm there...It's just...i really miss you. So...Do you want to move in together?

不不！我是说……我现在不想回自己公寓了……一部分原因是我住的地方楼下是个毒品窝点，但主要是因为我一个人在那儿的时候……就特别想你。所以……要不要一起同居？

Phoebe

Wow...Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!".

哇……迈克·汉尼根……你真会哄女孩子答应。

Mike

So we're doing it?

那我们说定了？

Phoebe

Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe.)

当然！说定了！我们一起住！（两人拥抱，迈克亲吻菲比。）

Phoebe

Oh god...We're really going to move in together!

天呐……我们真的要一起同居了！

Mike

Yeah!

是啊！

Phoebe

I've always wanted to live with a guy..."Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!

我一直想和男人一起住……“把袜子捡起来！”“放下马桶圈！”“不行！我们再也不做爱了！”肯定超有意思！

Monica

Hey Joey!

嘿，乔伊！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you will never get back to Chandler.

听着……我要问你件事，你得保证绝对不能让钱德勒知道。

Joey

I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it myself...Chandler is my best friend...It would be wrong. Good.(He winks.) ...But wrong.

要是我说我没这么想过，那是骗你……钱德勒是我最好的朋友……这么做不对。好的。（他眨眨眼。）……但确实不对。

Monica

:(Looks exasperated.) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.

（一脸无奈。）好吧，首先……你想的那件事确实不错。但我来不是说这个的，我想借点钱。

Joey

Awww...I don't know Monica...You know...erm...lending friends money is always a mistake.

呃……莫妮卡，我不知道……你知道……借钱给朋友从来都是个错误。

Monica

But Chandler lent you money!

可钱德勒借过钱给你！

Joey

And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.

我想他会告诉你那是个错误。

Monica

Come on...I just need it for some rent and...and some other bills.

别这样……我只是要交房租还有一些账单。

Joey

Oh...how much?

哦……要多少？

Monica

Two thousand dollars?

两千美元？

Joey

Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?

两千美元！？你当我是谁？肥皂剧明星吗？

Monica

Yeah.

是啊。

Joey

That's right I am! (Opens drawer and rummages through it. Rachel enters.)

没错，我就是！（打开抽屉翻找。瑞秋走进来。）

Rachel

Hi you guys!

嗨，大家好！

Joey & Monica: Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Oo...what's in the bag?

哦……袋子里装的什么？

Rachel

Oh er...well you know Emma started crawling? I realized that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.

哦……你知道艾玛会爬了吧？我发现这公寓对小宝宝来说太不安全了，所以去商店买了些东西，把公寓弄成安全的婴儿房。

Joey

Oh...baby-proofing...Why is this such a big deal now? Y'know...when I was a kid it was like... "Whoops! Joey fell down the stairs!" or er... "Whoops! Joey electrocuted himself again!" Huh!

哦……婴儿防护……现在怎么这么讲究？我小时候就……“哎呀！乔伊从楼梯上摔下来了！”或者“哎呀！乔伊又触电了！”呵！

Monica

Anyway erm...Are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?

不说这个了……你要找杂务工来装这些东西吗？

Rachel

No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)

不用，我自己装。（乔伊嘲讽地笑了一声。）

Joey

You're gonna do it?

你自己装？

Rachel

Yeah...Why? You don't think a woman can do this?

是啊……怎么？你觉得女人干不了这个？

Joey

Oh...Women can. You...can't.

女人能，但你不行。

Rachel

Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?

莫妮卡……你能告诉乔伊他是头猪吗？

Monica

You're a pig. And you can't do this.

你是头猪，而且你也干不了这活。

Rachel

Wha!? What!? Come on! I found the hardware store all by myself!

什么！？不是吧！我可是自己找到五金店的！

Joey

The hardware store is right down the street.

五金店就在街对面。

Rachel

There is a hardware store right down the street?

街对面就有五金店？

Phoebe

Hey you guys! Ok...we've got great news.

嘿，大家！我们有好消息。

Mike

Phoebe and I are moving in together.

我和菲比要一起同居了。

Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!

恭喜你们！/太好了！/真棒！

Phoebe

I know it's so exciting! You know I've never lived with a guy before.

是啊，太激动了！我以前从没和男人一起住过。

Monica

Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like".(Looks at Chandler.)

其实和跟女生住差不多，只是男生不会偷用你的化妆品，除非他们玩“我妹妹长什么样”的游戏。（看向钱德勒。）

Chandler

Yeah...she's not so cute.

是啊……她没那么可爱。

Mike

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

我去趟洗手间。

Phoebe

OK...Well you put down the toilet seat.

好……记得放下马桶圈。

Mike

Yes dear.

好的，亲爱的。

Monica

Is that a bit you guys do?

你们俩平时都这么腻歪吗？

Phoebe

Uh huh...we're playing you two.

是啊……我们在学你们俩。

Monica

We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that!

我们才不这样！告诉她我们不这样！

Chandler

Yes dear.

好的，亲爱的。

Ross

I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's...that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys.

真不敢相信你们要同居了，太好了！我真心为你们高兴。

Monica

I hear wedding bells.

我都听到婚礼的钟声了。

Phoebe

Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean...I don't know...Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah...You know...I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know...near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior... Oh my god I do.

莫妮卡，别催我！我只是能和他一起住很开心。我是说……我不知道……我能想象有一天和迈克结婚吗？当然！我能想象自己穿着婚纱走红毯，婚纱既大方又能凸显我的胸部。但我想要康涅狄格的大房子吗？就是那种……靠近好学校，能送小苏菲和小迈克上学的房子……天呐，我想要。

Ross

Phoebe...I had no idea you were so conventional.

菲比……我没想到你这么传统。

Phoebe

I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!

我也没想到！原来我这么传统！天呐！开上沃尔沃，我要做全职妈妈！

Mike

You ready to go?

准备好走了吗？

Phoebe

Yeah! You bet roomy!

当然！准备好了，室友！

Monica

Don't you mean...groomy?

你是想说……新郎吧？

Mike

What are you talking about?

你们在说什么？

Phoebe

Oh please...these guys...we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back.)

别理他们……我们还没同居，他们就催我们挑结婚瓷器图案了。（迈克有点尴尬地笑了笑。两人准备离开，菲比突然跑回来。）

Phoebe

China patterns!

瓷器图案！

Rachel

This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer.)

这很简单……我弄不了！（走开，发现毛衣袖子卡在抽屉上了。）

Rachel

Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more.)

天呐！我真的弄不了这个。（继续摆弄。）

Chandler

Hey Joe!

嘿，乔伊！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Listen er...I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.

听着……我想请你帮个忙，这事不能告诉莫妮卡。

Joey

I thought you didn't have secrets from Monica.

我还以为你对莫妮卡没有秘密呢。

Chandler

And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods.) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.

那只是对外的说辞。（乔伊点点头。）我和莫妮卡手头有点紧。

Joey

Yeah...I know.

是啊……我知道。

Chandler

What? What do you mean you know?

什么？你怎么知道？

Joey

ER...I just figured it out! You know...I mean you're not working and the economy is bad.

呃……我猜出来的！你现在没工作，经济又不景气。

Chandler

Oh! Right.

哦！对。

Joey

(to himself.) That's the fastest I have ever thought!

（自言自语。）我脑子从来没转这么快过！

Chandler

Anyway, er... I need to borrow some money.

不说这个了……我想借点钱。

Joey

Oh! Sure! How much? Two thousand dollars?

哦！当然可以！要多少？两千美元？

Chandler

Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque.)

对！正好两千美元！你怎么知道的！（乔伊开始写支票。）

Joey

Er...Well I...Know how much you used to make...And I know how much your rent is. (shrugs.)

呃……我知道你以前挣多少，也知道你房租多少。（耸耸肩。）

Chandler

Oh ok.

哦，好吧。

Joey

(To himself.) I am on FIRE!

（自言自语。）我太厉害了！

Chandler

(Stands up and walks to Joey.) Listen...this is really nice. Do you.(sees his chequebook.) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?

（站起来走向乔伊。）听着……你人真好。你……（看到支票本。）你给莫妮卡开了两千美元的支票？莫妮卡向你借钱了？

Joey

Er...Kind of.

呃……算是吧。

Chandler

I can't believe her! Did she tell you we were having money problems?

真不敢相信她！她告诉你我们缺钱了？

Joey

Oh no no no no no...It wasn't...It wasn't because of your money problems...It was for something...for her.

没有没有……不是因为你们缺钱……是她自己有事要用。

Chandler

What?

什么事？

Joey

Something personal.

私事。

Chandler

What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?

她花两千美元买什么私事，还瞒着我？

(Woman with huge breasts cuts across them. Takes Joey's coffee.)

（一个胸部丰满的女人从他们面前走过，拿走了乔伊的咖啡。）

Woman

Excuse me.

不好意思。

Joey

Boob job.

隆胸。

Chandler

I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!

我不想她去隆胸！太离谱了！

Joey

Well it's...It's not THAT crazy. ok? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.

也没那么离谱吧？要是缩胸才离谱呢。

Mike

Well hey...I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.

对了……我想问你莫妮卡说“新郎”那个玩笑。

Phoebe

Oh! Alright. Well I think the reason people laugh is becuase it's a play on the word roomie.

哦！这个啊，她是拿“室友”这个词玩文字游戏，所以大家才笑。

Mike

I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is...Maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together. You're not expecting a proposal...right?

我懂这个玩笑，挺高级的。我想说的是……我们同居前该先说好，你不会期待我求婚，对吧？

Phoebe

Oh no! No no! Not at all. We're just moving in right now. See where it goes.

不会！完全不会！我们现在只是同居，顺其自然就好。

Mike

Yeah well...that's the thing. For me it's...as far as it can ever go.

可问题是……对我来说，我们的关系到这就到头了。

Phoebe

What do you mean?

你什么意思？

Mike

Look. Phoebe...I...I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.

菲比，我……我很爱你，非常爱。但我再也不想结婚了。

Phoebe

Oh. Wow.

哦，这样啊。

Mike

It's just my first marriage was...you know... such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.

我第一段婚姻……你知道的，简直是场灾难，我对结婚这事彻底没信心了。

Phoebe

Was it really that bad?

真的有那么糟吗？

Mike

At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.

快离婚的时候，她故意随地大小便。

Phoebe

Ok...well that's bad...But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.

好吧……那确实很糟……但你不觉得换个人会不一样吗？比如一个金发女孩，平时都用厕所，除了有一次在海里。

Mike

Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!

不是和谁结婚的问题。我第一次结婚时，也坚信会一辈子在一起，结果我大错特错了！

Phoebe

But it's just.

可……

Mike

Look Phoebe...It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.

菲比，这和你无关，我就是不想再结婚了。

Phoebe

Oh!

好吧！

Mike

I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.

抱歉，你能接受吗？要是不能……我们或许不该同居。

Phoebe

No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in...and you start changing your mind...there's gonna be hell to pay mister!

我能接受！我也不想结婚，就是确认一下你也不想。呼！不然等我们同居了，你又改变主意，我可饶不了你！

Mike

Trust me...I will never.

相信我……我永远不会改变主意。

Phoebe

Yeah I get that.

我知道了。

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

So you gave in and decided to call someone?

所以你妥协了，找人来装了？

Rachel

Yeah...I don't know who I was kidding. I can barely use chopsticks.

是啊……我骗谁呢，我连筷子都用不好。

Handyman

You're all set.

装好了。

Rachel

Oh thank you so much. Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game.

太谢谢你了。哦等一下！你忘了你的……小工具了。

Handyman

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Chandler enters.)

（钱德勒走进来。）

Chandler

Hey Rach! There she is...My perfectly proportioned wife.

嘿，瑞秋！我身材完美的老婆在这呢。

Rachel

Don't look at me I never get his jokes.

别看我，我从来听不懂他的笑话。

Monica

Thank you?

谢谢夸奖？

Chandler

Oh no...don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not...TWO...single things.

别谢我，是你值得。你知道吗，我觉得你完美无缺，一点都不想改变，尤其是……那两处……

Monica

Ok...you're being weird. Do you want sex or did you do something bad?

你好奇怪。想做爱了，还是做了什么坏事？

Chandler

No no! I just love the way you look... I am warm...for your form.

没有！我就是喜欢你现在的样子……你的身材让我很心动。

Monica

Ok...You know the old classics, you know, "You look nice"? They're still ok.

好吧……传统点说“你很漂亮”就挺好的。

Chandler

Well yes yes...You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your BODY. I mean...I wouldn't change it...At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.

“你很漂亮”是说脸蛋好看，我想夸你的身材。我是说，我觉得你身材完美，一点都不想你变大。

Monica

o...k.

好吧。

Chandler

I mean...You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.

你也不想我哪里变大吧？别回答。

(He leaves.)

（他离开。）

Rachel

Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any weirder.

他真是越来越奇怪了。

Monica

I know, why do you think he was so worried about me getting bigger?

是啊，他为什么这么怕我变大？

Rachel

I don't know! I mean...what brought that on?

不知道！他怎么突然这么说？

Monica

Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.

天呐，我们在备孕，他肯定是怕我身材走样。

Rachel

No...you really think that's what it is?

你真这么觉得？

Monica

You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.

你没听到他说吗？“别变大！”“你很完美！”“千万别变大！”他跟我高中摔跤教练一模一样。我得跟钱德勒谈谈。

Rachel

Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger...Your ass is gonna get bigger...You're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing.) God! It's just such a magical time!

对！你不说我去说！怀孕身材肯定会变啊，胸部会变大，屁股会变大，还会憋不住尿。（她开始哭。）天呐，这是多美好的时刻啊！

Phoebe

Hi.

嗨。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.

我想问你点关于婚姻的事。

Ross

Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes? I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home!

哦，现在专程来取笑我了？平时一起玩就算了，还跑到我家来！

Phoebe

No...i really wanted to know how you feel about it.

不是……我是真的想知道你对婚姻的看法。

Ross

Why?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.

迈克不想结婚，永远不想。

Ross

Never?

永远？

Phoebe

Never.

永远。

Ross

wow...are you still going to move in with him?

哇……那你还打算和他同居吗？

Phoebe

I want to...but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know...that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!

我想……我就是想让你告诉我，婚姻没什么大不了，我不会错过什么，婚姻糟透了！

Ross

Yeah...marriage...stinks! I mean if you wanna see a man gain weight and a woman stop shaving? Get them married.

是啊……婚姻糟透了！想看到男人发福、女人不刮体毛，就让他们结婚。

Phoebe

That's not how you really feel is it?

你不是真心这么想的吧？

Ross

No, I'm sorry. LOok I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage.

抱歉，不是。我知道你现在不想听这个，但我控制不住，我喜欢婚姻。

Phoebe

Seriously? You divorce-o?

真的？你都离婚好几次了？

Ross

If you have to call me name, I prefer Ross the Divorcer. It's just cooler. Look...I know my marriages haven't exactly worked out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Caroline and I had some good times before she became a lesbian! And once afterward. I'm sorry.

非要给我起外号，我更喜欢“离婚达人罗斯”，听着更酷。我知道我的婚姻都失败了，但我喜欢对一个人付出承诺。我和卡罗琳在她变成同性恋前过得很开心，之后也有过一次。抱歉。

Phoebe

It's ok that's how you feel.

没关系，我懂你的想法。

Ross

But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun...and you love Mike.

别想太多！同居也很好啊，你们在一起很开心，你也爱迈克。

Phoebe

I do love Mike.

我确实爱迈克。

Ross

Yeah see? And you are so excited about moving in together before... and you know what? You should be. It's a big deal!

对吧？你之前也很期待同居，这就对了，同居也是大事！

Phoebe

Yeah I guess you're right. Yeah thanks. This helped. Thanks.

是啊，你说得对。谢谢，帮到我了。

Ross

The Divorcer, to the rescue!

离婚达人，拯救你！

Phoebe

It's not cooler.

一点都不酷。

Ross

Yeah I just heard it.

我也觉得。

Joey

Rach?!

瑞秋？！

(He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either.)

（他走向冰箱想把冰淇淋放进去，冰箱也打不开。）

Joey

Rachel!?

瑞秋？！

(he walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.)

（他走到浴室想掀开马桶盖，也掀不开。）

Joey

SO I CAN'T DO ANYTHING I LIKE!?!?!?

我喜欢做的事一件都做不了！？！？

Chandler

Hey Rach! Ah...Perfection. (kisses Monica.) Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.

嘿，瑞秋！完美。（亲吻莫妮卡。）一点都不想改，完美无瑕。

Monica

Honey?

亲爱的？

Chandler

Yeah?

嗯？

Monica

About that? Erm...I'm going to change.

关于你说的事……我会变的。

Chandler

But honey you don't have to.

宝贝，你不用变。

Monica

I'm going to get bigger!

我会变大的！

Chandler

Honey I...I love your breasts the way they are!

宝贝，我喜欢你现在的胸部！

Rachel

Argh.

呃。

Monica

Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.

不管你喜不喜欢，我的胸部都会变大！而且不只是胸部，我的屁股也会变大。

Chandler

YOUR ASS?!?!?

你的屁股？！？

Rachel

Man, don't be surprised if her hands and her feet get bigger too!

天啊，说不定她的手脚也会变大！

Chandler

They...DO that?

手脚……也会变大？

Monica

It's kind of a package deal!

怀孕就是全套变化！

Chandler

God why why would you want to do that to yourself!?

天呐，你为什么要让自己变成这样？

Monica

I thought I was something that we both wanted!

我以为这是我们共同想要的！

Chandler

Alright look...if it means that much to you, I may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?

好吧……如果你真这么想，我或许能接受大胸部，但大屁股和小丑一样的大脚？

Rachel

Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?

天呐钱德勒！你连这都接受不了，到时候在医院看到血、听到尖叫、看到宝宝出生，你怎么办？

Chandler

What?

什么？

Rachel

Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?

乔伊！你为什么告诉钱德勒莫妮卡要隆胸？

Joey

Because she is!

她就是要隆胸啊！

Monica

Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.

乔伊，钱德勒知道我向你借钱了。

Joey

Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!

是啊！就是为了隆胸！

Monica, Rachel, Chandler: It's over/Joe!

别说了/乔伊！

Joey

OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?

所以我借出去四千美元，结果没人隆胸？

Ross

Hey! What do you guys think about this. Ross. The Divorce-Force.

嘿！你们觉得这个外号怎么样？离婚战神罗斯。

Phoebe

Better.

好多了。

Mike

Very cool.

很酷。

Ross

Hey Phoebs...You know I'm I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.

菲比，很高兴你那天来找我聊天，希望我帮到你了。

Phoebe

Oh yeah you were helpful! Yeah...No, thanks you.

是啊，帮到我了！谢谢。

Ross

Good, good. Yeah coz the more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.

那就好。我越想越觉得，婚姻不一定适合你。

Phoebe

What do you mean?

什么意思？

Ross

Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but...is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?

那天在咖啡馆你说想做全职妈妈，但那真的是你吗？你能想象自己开着沃尔沃的样子吗？

Phoebe

They are awfully boxy.

那车方方正正的，不好看。

Ross

I don't know...you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so...normal.

婚姻太普通了，你肯定会觉得无聊。

Phoebe

Uh huh.

嗯。

Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door

钱德勒、莫妮卡、乔伊和瑞秋抬着沙发走进来

Ross

Hey hey, can I help?

嘿，要不要帮忙？

Chandler

Well! We er...climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pitbull...but these last three feet are where it gets REALLY tricky.

我们爬了四层楼，穿过狭窄走廊，躲开疯狗……就差这三步，最难弄。

Ross

You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.

你这话真伤人。

Joey

Hey eh...where do you guys want this?

嘿……沙发放哪？

Rachel

Yeah...seriously coz this is really heavy. (She suddenly lets go.) I mean not for me because I'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys.

赶紧的，太重了。（她突然松手。）我倒是不累，我就是装装样子，他们累坏了。

Phoebe

Just one last time erm...the marriage thing...there's no wiggle room? None at all?

最后问一次……结婚的事，一点商量的余地都没有吗？

Mike

No but... You don't want to get married either right?

没有，但你也不想结婚，对吧？

Phoebe

Right. Except that I do want to get married.

我不想……其实我想结婚。

Joey

(voice strained.) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?

（吃力地说。）不能到楼下卡车那聊吗？

Mike

You...wanna get married?

你……想结婚？

Phoebe

Someday.

总有一天。

Chandler

Aaaaand...hernia.

哎哟……疝气犯了。

Phoebe

I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.

我这辈子过得一直很特别，以前没觉得缺什么，但现在我也想过点普通人的生活。

Mike

But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?

你想结婚，为什么之前不说？

Phoebe

Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.

因为我之前不知道自己这么想结婚，我很爱你，也想和你同居。

Mike

I want to live with you too! Let's do that!

我也想和你同居！我们同居吧！

Phoebe

But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.

但我做不到！以前不知道未来怎么样，同居没关系，但现在知道永远不会有结果，我不能和你同居。

Mike

Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.

我们先试试同居好不好？说不定你会改变对婚姻的想法。

Phoebe

Are you gonna change yours?

你会改变吗？

Mike

No.

不会。

Phoebe

Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.

我也不会。我需要找个和我想法一样的人。

Mike

But I don't want this to end.

我不想我们就这样结束。

Phoebe

I don't want it to end either.

我也不想。

Mike

I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up.

真不敢相信我们要结束了，我去收拾东西。

Phoebe

Yeah.

好。

Mike

Ok...so.(They embrace.) Goodbye.

好吧……再见。（两人拥抱。）

Everyone

Bye bye Mike! See ya Mike.

再见迈克！回头见迈克。

Rachel

I'm so sorry Phoebs.

太遗憾了，菲比。

Monica

We're all sorry.(They hug.)

我们都替你难过。（众人拥抱菲比。）

Chandler

Ah...look on the bright side...I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you.(they hug again.)

往好处想……你不用和这把丑椅子一起住了！椅子本来就在这，对吧？爱你。（再次拥抱。）

Joey

AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright.(He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry...Who knows when I'll be able to get in here again!

哈哈！我打开了！太好了！（拿出一盒东西，准备关冰箱，又停下。）能拿多少拿多少，下次不知道什么时候才能打开！

END

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