The One Where Monica Sings

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?

是！是！好！当然好！你看！我们能……能谈一下昨晚在这儿发生的事吗？

Chandler

Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who ever did something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!

当然！给我一秒钟，让我变得跟你一样气鼓鼓、怪兮兮的！你能相信昨晚在这儿做了些事的人，到底做了还是没做……我是说，别这样！

Ross

OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?

好吧，你……你真不知道我在说什么？

Chandler

No!

不知道！

Ross

OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.

好吧！昨晚派对结束后，我看见瑞秋在你家阳台上跟她办公室那个混蛋接吻。

Chandler

Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said "No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"

我家阳台？真的？太好笑了，我之前跟莫妮卡说，咱们该在阳台上装些灯。她说“不用，不用。太冷了，没人会去那儿。”我就说“要是装了灯，说不定就有人去了”。

Ross

Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony, even though there were NO LIGHTS !

对，我就是来跟你说这事的。嗯……我看见瑞秋在你家阳台上亲别人，那儿可是黑灯瞎火的！

Chandler

So are you gonna...talk to her?

那你打算……跟她谈谈吗？

Ross

Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!

为什么……我为什么要谈？她要是想开始新恋情，随便她！

Chandler

You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!

你知道吗，人只有又喊又啐的时候，说“随便”才是真心话！

Ross

No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You know I...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!

我是认真的。她想跟别人约会？好啊！我不在乎……但她至少该告诉我一声吧。我一直搁置自己的生活，一心照顾艾玛，可她倒好，出去跟不熟的男人亲热，那我也这么干！真好笑！罗斯是同性恋！哈！哈！

Chandler

No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?

别别别。行吧，你要开始新恋情了？想好跟谁发展了吗？

Ross

I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me. And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.

不知道。我机会多的是。刚才在咖啡馆还有女人冲我笑呢。前几天坐地铁，还有个女人“不小心”坐到我手上了。

Chandler

Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!

老兄，别拿你这精彩的单身生活刺激我！

Ross

Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmental Potluck dinner.

那还有这个呢？学校有个人类学家，部门聚餐的时候，明摆着勾引我。

Chandler

Why did I get married?!

我当初干嘛要结婚啊？！

Joey

Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?

嘿！问你们个事。我明天要拍新的头像照，摄影师说我该去修下眉毛。男人这么做奇怪吗？

Phoebe

Well it depends.

看情况吧。

Joey

On...?

看什么？

Phoebe

On how far along he's in the sex change process!

看他变性到哪一步了！

Monica

No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to, your eyebrows are...

我完全不同意。男人这么做没什么啊，尤其是演员。也不是说你需要修，你的眉毛其实……

Joey

Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!

好了！别说了！别盯着我看了！怪吓人的！

Phoebe

Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...

你指关节上毛也挺多的……

Joey

Oh man! I have to get those done too?!

天啊！那我这些也得弄掉？！

Phoebe

Wow! Talking about high maintenance

哇！真够精致的。

Joey

Hey hey! You dye your hair!

嘿！你还染头发呢！

Phoebe

I'm a woman!

我是女人啊！

Joey

Arghhh! Double standards!

啊！双标！

Phoebe

Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?

差点忘了，今晚来迈克的钢琴酒吧吗？

Monica

Only if I don't have to get up and sing.

只要不用我上台唱歌就行。

Phoebe

But everybody sings. It's so much fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped out and everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.

大家都会唱啊，超好玩的！上次有个可爱的老爷爷上台，歌词全忘了，当场慌了，大家把他嘘下台了，笑死了。

Monica

It's just, I'm not good at singing.

我就是不擅长唱歌。

Phoebe

Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?

哟！怎么了？怕了？怕我唱得比你好？怕唱歌比不过我？

Monica

No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!

没用的，激将法对我不管用。哇！我肯定是成熟了！

Phoebe

OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.

好吧好吧！来嘛，支持下迈克，你不用唱。

Monica

So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?

就是说我不用唱，还能坐着点评别人？

Phoebe

While drinking...

还能边喝边评……

Monica

I'm there!

那我去！

Rachel

Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.

嗨大家！我需要帮忙，我好像干了件蠢事。

Phoebe

Well yes Rachel but you got something so beautiful out there

是啊瑞秋，但你也收获了个超可爱的宝贝啊。

Rachel

No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.

不是这事。我昨晚跟盖文接吻了。

Phoebe

Oh my god.

我的天。

Monica

You kissed him?

你跟他接吻了？

Rachel

Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...

嗯。派对结束后，我们在阳台上，然后就……

Monica

Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?

等等等等。我一整晚都在家，怎么没撞见？

Phoebe

It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper.

派对快结束的时候，你估计在熨包装纸呢。

Monica

Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?

哦对哦……那你们怎么就亲上了？

Rachel

You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...

当时就我们俩，他对我特别好，还送了我这条围巾……

Monica

I thought you hated him?

我还以为你讨厌他呢？

Rachel

You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!

亲爱的，爱和恨就一线之隔，而这条线……就是一条围巾！

Monica

So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?

那你打算跟他发展吗？

Rachel

I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don't know what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.

不知道，太复杂了。他是我同事，我还有孩子，还有罗斯，我真不知道该怎么办，十分钟后我还要去公司见盖文。

Monica

Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross

你得先想清楚自己想要什么，跟盖文谈谈，也一定要跟罗斯说清楚。

Rachel

Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...

或者……我可以请病假，直接逃避这一切……

Phoebe

Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!

哇！休了五个月产假，回来才四天，亲了同事还请病假，公司雇你真是捡到宝了！

Salon girl

Hi

嗨。

Joey

Hey. I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.

嗨，我预约了修眉毛。

Salon girl

Name?

名字？

Joey

Chandler Bing.

钱德·宾。

Salon girl

Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.

好的，宾先生请坐，索尼娅马上过来。

Joey

OK Thanks. (Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff

好的谢谢。（乔伊碰到了热蜡）哎呀，碰到这东西了。

Sonia

I'll take care of it

我来处理。

Joey

Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?

谢谢。来这儿修眉的男人多吗？

Sonia

Oh absolutely.

可多了。

Joey

Oh good...

那就好……

Sonia

Are you looking to meet somebody?

你是想认识人吗？

Joey

All right let's just do this.

行了，直接开始吧。

Sonia

We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...

等会儿再用蜡，先拔点杂毛，行吗？会有点疼……

Joey

Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face! I'm all right! I'm all right! Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK (He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman! How Hoooow!

我超能忍痛的……我的天！我的脸！我的脸！没事！没事！就是吓了一跳，你继续。我没事。（躲开镊子）该死的！你怎么下手这么狠！

Chandler

Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?

哟，纽约最抢手的单身汉，新恋情进展咋样了？

Ross

Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.

不咋样。我又坐地铁了，确实有人坐到我手上了，可那人既不是女的，还没穿裤子。

Chandler

Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....

可能你方法不对。你想想，单身白人男性，离婚三次，两个非婚生孩子。征婚广告都不用自己写了。

Ross

That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again?

真有意思……你觉得你以后还能找到工作吗？

Chandler

What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!

你怎么回事？我只会损人，不会被人损！

Ross

I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me

真不敢相信瑞秋就这么开始新恋情，还不跟我说一声。

Chandler

Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing

说不定她没有，那吻可能就是一时冲动，就一次。

Ross

No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.

不是，一个月前她还把电话号给酒吧里一个男的了。

Chandler

Did she go out with him?

那她跟那人约会了吗？

Ross

No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.

没有。那人打电话来的时候，我把留言扔了。

Chandler

Ah! The high road...

呵，你可真高尚。

Ross

You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there! Hey come with me!

够了！不说了！我得行动了！看那边两个金发美女！跟我一起去！

Chandler

Are you trying to get everybody divorced?

你想让所有人都离婚吗？

Ross

You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break the ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...

你不用干嘛，咱俩一起去方便点，就像大学时候那样，记得吗？你用笑话打开话匣子，显得你风趣，我再切入聊点有意思的，显得我聪明、深沉又性感。

Chandler

I thought I had to make the jokes!

我还以为我才是讲笑话的那个！

Ross

Don't you have to be at work?

你不用上班吗？

Chandler

Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop! Swoop!

别管那个！嗨！你好！我叫钱德，这是我朋友罗斯，想问下你们要不要一起玩，我们还差六个人就能叠罗汉了……切入！快切入！

Ross

Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here's a question: "Would you... would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"

你们宁愿淹死还是被活活烧死？

Blonde girl

Sorry...we were just leaving

抱歉……我们正要走。

Chandler

We still got it!

魅力不减当年！

Rachel

Who is it?

谁啊？

Gavin

Gavin! I brought you some soup.

盖文！给你带了点汤。

Rachel

Why?

干嘛？

Gavin

I heard you were sick...

听说你生病了……

Rachel

Oh! Right! Yeah! Hold on, I'll be just clean up in here a little bit! Hello Gavin

哦对！等一下，我收拾下！嗨盖文。

Gavin

I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?

今天没在公司见到你，你还好吗？

Rachel

I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick

不瞒你说，我病得很重。

Gavin

Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.

太好了！我还瞎担心，以为你请病假是躲我呢。

Rachel

Oh no no no

没有没有。

Gavin

So I had fun last night

昨晚我很开心。

Rachel

So did I

我也是。

Gavin

Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?

你这病传染吗？是站阳台冻的感冒，还是被猴子咬了？

Rachel

It's just a cold

就是普通感冒。

Gavin

Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum...

发烧吗？我看看。嗯……

Rachel

What? What's the matter?

怎么了？

Gavin

What's Ross doing to you on that picture?

照片里罗斯在对你干嘛？

Rachel

Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.

他拿考古刷给我扫灰，觉得好玩。

Gavin

Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything

行吧。你们俩到底什么关系？我不想掺和进去。

Rachel

Oh you're not. You're not gonna get in the middle of anything, don't worry about Ross really, really. (She hears the noise of the key in the lock) Oh! Hide! That's Ross! Hide! Hide!

不会的，你别担心罗斯，真的。（听到钥匙开门声）糟了！快藏起来！是罗斯！藏好！

Gavin

Yeah! But you said not to worry about...

可你刚说不用担心里……

Rachel

I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!

我骗你的！我没生病！快躲到窗帘后面！

Molly

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

Oh! Molly! You're not Ross.

哦莫莉！原来是你。

Molly

No I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?

我来把艾玛送到你妈妈那儿，记得吗？

Rachel

Right, right, yes!

对对对！

Molly

Don't panic!

别慌。

Rachel

What?

啊？

Molly

There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.

你窗帘后面有个男人，我包里有防狼喷雾。

Rachel

No! That's OK! That's OK! That's OK! No no no no! This is my business associate Gavin. He's just being silly. Gavin come out from behind that curtain!

没事没事！他是我同事盖文，闹着玩呢。盖文快出来！

Gavin

Hi! Gavin! Please to meet you. It was my idea to stand there.

嗨，我是盖文，很高兴认识你，是我自己躲在后面的。

Molly

Hello! I just go and get Emma.

你好，我去抱艾玛。

Rachel

OK.

好。

Gavin

So hum...Why did I have to hide?

我刚才干嘛要躲？

Rachel

I thought it was Ross.

我以为是罗斯。

Gavin

So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...

是罗斯又怎样？我以为你们俩没什么。

Rachel

There isn't. There is totally isn't.

是没什么，真的没有。

Gavin

You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be a rodeo clown.

一听钥匙声，你慌得跟第一次上场的小野马似的。我以前是牛仔竞技小丑。

Rachel

All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not in any relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so much history...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.

好吧盖文，你在这儿，我有点愧疚，其实没必要的。我和罗斯不是情侣，但他是我孩子的爸爸，我们还住在一起，还有那么多过往……我现在脑子很乱，对不起。

Gavin

It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?

没事。我知道不该多嘴，但能给你个建议吗？

Rachel

Yes

你说。

Gavin

I think you should talk to Ross about all this.

你该把这事跟罗斯说清楚。

Rachel

People keep saying that. Oh I'm sorry Gavin

大家都这么说。对不起盖文。

Gavin

Don't be. It's just bad timing.

没事，只是时机不对。

Rachel

So seriously...rodeo clown?

说真的，你真是牛仔竞技小丑？

Gavin

One of the best, ma'am, one of the best...

顶尖的，女士，顶尖的……

Phoebe

"No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you!

没时间理失败者，因为我们是世界冠军……！谢谢大家！

(Mike kisses Phoebe)

（迈克吻了菲比）

Mike

Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kenneth singing "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!

她是我女朋友，不是酒吧的规矩。我歇会儿，接下来肯尼斯唱《我抚摸自己》，我不做评价。

Phoebe

Hi hi...Oh you have got to sing.

嗨……你一定要唱一首。

Monica

No I told you I can't.

我说了我不行。

Phoebe

But you would have so much fun and you have a really nice voice.

超好玩的，你声音很好听。

Monica

What have you heard me sing?

你什么时候听过我唱歌？

Phoebe

All the time when you're cooking.

你做饭的时候总在唱。

Monica

What?

啊？

Phoebe

Yeah you're always singing "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in my tummy"

你总唱“好吃好吃好吃，心里满是爱”。

Monica

Yeah I do rock that one.

那首我确实唱得不错。

Phoebe

OK so isn't there a little part of you that wants to get up there?

你心里就一点点都不想上台吗？

Monica

Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing...

有一点点，但太吓人了！我都不知道唱什么……

Mike

Well I've got a book around...

我这儿有歌本。

Monica

"Delta Dawn"

《黛尔塔·唐》。

Ross

Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace

嗨！不得不说，你这条项链挺特别的。

Woman

You already hit on me an hour ago

你一小时前就跟我搭讪过了。

Ross

Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out.

行吧，看来是彻底没戏了。真不敢相信，我总被拒绝。

Chandler

I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed

我也搞不懂，你明显急疯了，居然问女人想怎么死。

Ross

This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys until she finds the one she wants and I'm gonna die alone.

真好。瑞秋会一直亲别人，直到找到合适的，而我会孤独终老。

Chandler

By drowning or...?!

淹死还是……？

Michelle

Why would he break up with me?

他为什么要跟我分手？

Her friend

I don't know sweetie.

不知道啊亲爱的。

Michelle

All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable?

我只想爱他，也让他爱我，我就这么不值得被爱吗？

Chandler

Well...

呃……

Ross

I know! (he stands)

我懂！（站起身）

Mike

All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn".

好的，肯尼斯直白演绎的《我抚摸自己》结束了，接下来莫妮卡演唱《黛尔塔·唐》。

Monica

Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.

等等！我不能在这么多人面前唱。

Phoebe

Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyone anyway.

就当他们不存在！没事的莫妮卡，聚光灯一打，你根本看不见台下的人。

Monica

Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn" "Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."

大家好，我是莫妮卡，演唱《黛尔塔·唐》。黛尔塔·唐，你头上戴的是什么花？是往昔褪色的玫瑰吗？

Phoebe

Can you totally see through her shirt ?

能看穿她的衬衫吗？

Mike

Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.

跟X光一样，没穿内衣可真倒霉。

Monica

"To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"

带你去他云端的豪宅。

Joey

Hey, I need your help.

嘿，帮我个忙。

Chandler

Wow, it seems serious. What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?

哟，看着挺严重啊。怎么了，阿什莉·贾德？

Joey

Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped

我要拍新头像照，想修下眉毛。

Chandler

I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!

抱歉，先让我笑一会儿。

Joey

I may be a sissy but I can still pound you into the ground. All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow and now... they don't match!

就算我矫情，照样能揍你。太疼了，我只修了一边，现在两边不对称了！

Chandler

It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama!

跟小毛毛虫追妈妈似的。

Joey

All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.

你得帮我，我有马克笔，你帮我把细的那边补一下，拍照别太傻就行。

Chandler

Ok. First of all, this is green!

行，首先，这是绿色的！

Joey

What the hell am I supposed to do!

那我怎么办啊！

Chandler

All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.

我帮你，但你得保证，我接下来要说的事，不许告诉别人。

Joey

What, what.

什么事？

Chandler

Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mine by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business" partners.

别的小孩靠割草、倒垃圾赚零花钱，我是靠给我爸和他的“生意伙伴”拔眉毛赚的。

Joey

Oh my God!

我的天！

Chandler

Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help Victor Victoria!

行吧，看来你不用我帮忙了，雌雄同体的家伙。

Joey

Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don't know if I can take anymore plucking. It hurts so bad!

别别别，我需要你帮忙，可我再也受不了拔眉毛了，太疼了！

Chandler

Oh, not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe Vera and my gentle self-loathing touch.

放心，我用冰块、芦荟，再加上我温柔又自厌的手法，一点不疼。

Monica

"Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?

带我去他云端的豪宅。抱歉，唱完了。你们看到我刚才的样子了吗？

Phoebe

Every little bit of you!

看得一清二楚！

Monica

I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear that one shouting "look at those tips"! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?

不敢相信我做到了，大家居然喜欢我唱歌！有人喊“看那小费”，我真帮你赚了不少小费吗？

Mike

Sure.

当然。

Phoebe

Mon', not that you didn't sound good, but...

莫妮卡，你唱得是不错，但是……

Monica

Good? Didn't you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That's is the best gift ever.

不错？我明明超棒！谢谢你鼓励我，这是最好的礼物。

Mike

Also a good gift? Underwear.

内衣。

Michelle

Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.

谢谢你让我在这儿上厕所，公共厕所我不行，连小便都不敢，更别说别的了。

Ross

But, what's great is that you don't mind talking about it.

好在你不介意说这事。

Michelle

It's so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it's like you lose a boyfriend, you get a boyfriend.

太巧了，埃里克跟我分手当天我就遇到了你，失去一个男友，又得到一个。

Ross

Uh-ah!

呃！

Michelle

No don't worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.

别担心，我不是拿你当备胎，我早就忘了埃里克了。

Ross

(pfew). Good choice Ross.

松了口气，选对了。

Rachel

Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!

嗨！你在这儿，我到处找你！

Ross

Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am.

嗨，我在这儿。

Rachel

Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o' clock. So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of talk?somebody here?

我妈九点才把孩子送回来，我们能不能聊聊？家里有人？

Ross

Oh, yeah, yeah that's Michelle.

对，这是米歇尔。

Rachel

Who?

谁？

Ross

Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.

我最近在约会的女生。

Rachel

You've being seeing someone?

你在约会？

Ross

Yeah, didn't I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven't being going out for too long, but rather there is this amazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it was a little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.

是啊，没跟你说过？我们约会没多久，但特别合拍。你进来前，她刚说我是她男朋友，我觉得有点太快了，但还挺开心的。

Michelle

What are you taking amoxicillin for?

你吃阿莫西林干嘛？

Ross

How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that's my roommate, Rachel.

真好，你都敢翻我东西了。抱歉米歇尔，这是我室友瑞秋。

Rachel

Hi, and I am also Emma's mother.

嗨，我还是艾玛的妈妈。

Michelle

Ah, who is Emma?

艾玛是谁？

Ross

I told you about my daughter.

我跟你说过我女儿。

Michelle

This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!

这是你女儿？我可以当她新妈妈！

Chandler

And done!

搞定！

Joey

Oh my God! I didn't feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the saloon

天呐！一点都不疼！你要不要找新工作？比美容院那个狠心的女人强多了。

Chandler

Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?

谢谢，要看看效果吗？

Joey

Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!

要！两边对称了！太好看了！

Chandler

Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right about there, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.

我觉得不错，刚才还担心露出胎记，结果是块巧克力。

Joey

Thank you so much.

太谢谢你了。

Chandler

No problem.

小事。

Joey

Listen that's a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.

刚才干的事太娘了，得做点男人的事补回来。

Chandler

Yeah.

行。

Joey

Comb my eyelashes.

帮我梳睫毛。

Monica

Ok, for my next song I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the Pointer Sisters' I am so excited. And make it bouncy!

下首歌来首欢快的，指针姐妹的《我超兴奋》，节奏嗨一点！

Phoebe

Oh you'll probably take care of that on your hands.

你自己就能带动气氛。

Chandler

I am sorry I am late. You'll understand when you'll see Joey.

抱歉来晚了，看到乔伊你就懂了。

Monica

Honey, you're just in time, I'm about to sing another song!

亲爱的来得正好，我正要再唱一首！

Chandler

Really? In front of all this people?

当着这么多人？

Monica

And they love me!

大家都喜欢我！

Chandler

Oh my God!

我的天！

Phoebe

Yes, she gives the people what they want.

她太懂观众了。

Monica

All right, watch!

看好了！

Monica

"Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in this time and show me some affection..."

今晚我们要尽情狂欢，抛开一切烦恼，投入我的怀抱，给我一点爱……

Chandler

Are those my wife's nipples?

那是我老婆的胸吗？

Phoebe

Oh? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again.

是吗？我刚才没看到，不然不会让她再上台。

Chandler

I gotta stop this.

我得阻止她。

Monica

Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."

管他呢，大家喜欢就行！我超兴奋……

Chandler

You, touching yourself, out!

你，别乱摸，下来！

Rachel

Wow. She does that a lot!

她可真自来熟！

Michelle

Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor!

罗斯，你没说过你是博士！

Rachel

What, what, wait a minute! You haven't even told her you were a doctor, yet? How long have you known her, like an hour?

等等！你居然没跟她说你是博士？你们认识多久了？一小时？

Michelle

Actually about an hour and a half.

一个半小时。

Ross

I told you it wasn't long, but there is an amazing connection between us.

我说过没多久，但我们特别合拍。

Michelle

You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!

你也这么觉得？我还以为只有我呢！

Ross

Are you kidding?

可不是嘛！

Michelle

Hey, do you want to go away this weekend?

周末一起出去玩吗？

Ross

We'll see.

再说吧。

Rachel

Ok, Ross, what's going on here, are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?

罗斯，你什么意思？随便带陌生女人回家？

Ross

I don't know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?

总比某些人在阳台亲陌生人强吧？

Rachel

How do you know about that?

你怎么知道的？

Ross

Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...

靠眼睛看到的！我在家哄孩子睡觉。

Michelle

Emma.

艾玛。

Ross

When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?

往窗外一看，就看到你亲一个认识才一周的男人。

Rachel

Oh, that's what this is all about? Did you bring her up here to get back at me?

你带她回来就是为了气我？

Michelle

No, actually, see I had to pee, 'cause I can't use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.

不是，我得小便，公共厕所我不行，有粪便寄生虫。

Ross

Ok, Michelle, it's time to go.

米歇尔，你该走了。

Michelle

Well, call me!

记得给我打电话！

Ross

Ok.

好。

Michelle

No, wait, you don't have my phone number!

等等，你没我电话！

Ross

You know, if it's meant to be, I'll guess it. Bye, bye.

有缘的话，我能猜到。拜拜。

Rachel

Score.

干得漂亮。

Ross

Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties on the balcony.

抱歉，你不喜欢她？我还想参加你阳台的接吻派对呢。

Rachel

Oh God, I can't believe you're making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!

天呐，这点小事你至于吗？就一次，一个男人，一个吻而已！

Ross

Oh, really!

是吗！

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Ross

Oh, really!

是吗！

Rachel

Oh yeah.

对啊。

Ross

What about the guy from the bar?

酒吧那个男人呢？

Rachel

What? Who?

什么？谁？

Ross

The guy you gave your number to.

你给电话号的那个男人。

Rachel

Whoa, how do you know about that?

你怎么知道的？

Ross

Because he called here looking for you. So don't tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing, ok? You've been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn't even have the courtesy to tell me.

他打电话找你。别跟我说这次亲同事就一次，你泡吧、阳台亲热都一个多月了，连跟我说一声都不肯。

Rachel

Why didn't I get that message?

他打电话我怎么不知道？

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

From the guy in the bar, why didn't I get that message?

酒吧那人的留言，我怎么没收到？

Ross

Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there?

我叠起来放裤兜里了，你不会翻吗？

Rachel

Ross?

罗斯？

Ross

I never gave it to you.

我没给你。

Rachel

Why?

为什么？

Ross

I don't know.

不知道。

Rachel

Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?

天呐，你以为你是谁？凭什么替我决定看不看留言？

Ross

Who am I?

我是谁？

Rachel

Yes.

对。

Ross

I am the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're out at bars meeting guys!

我是你泡吧撩人的时候，在家照顾孩子的人！

Rachel

Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with you About us! But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!

我本来想跟你好好聊聊我们的事！可你藏我留言、带疯女人回家，我没法跟你沟通！

Ross

None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That's not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the one Who moved on and didn't tell anyone!

正常的女人谁愿意跟我回家！重点是你，你先开始新恋情，还瞒着所有人！

Rachel

Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What's wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation they Always ask, "what, you live together but you're not a couple? And you have a baby, isn't that weird??And I say "no. You know what, it's not, because it works for us!"But you know this doesn't work. In fact this is the opposite of working!

罗斯，我们怎么变成这样了？别人都问我们，住一起不是情侣还有孩子，怪不怪？我以前说不怪，我们过得很好。可现在一点都不好，糟透了！

Ross

Uh, clearly.

确实糟透了。

Rachel

And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know, Just doesn't make sense anymore.

我们说过，只要合适就一起住，可现在，已经不合适了。

Ross

Yeah, maybe not. So what you wanna do?

确实不合适了，那你想怎么办？

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?

嗨，我和艾玛能在你家住一阵子吗？

Joey

Ha, oh, of course.

当然可以。

Rachel

Thank you.

谢谢你。

Joey

Your eyebrows look weird.

你眉毛怪怪的。

Chandler

singing "Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine." [to the Touching guy] So you just touch yourself for anything?

（唱）杰里迈亚是只牛蛙，我的好朋友，他说的话我一句不懂，但我陪他喝酒。（对台上的人）你什么都能摸自己吗？