The One With Phoebe's Rats

Chandler

Hey

嘿

Joey

Hey. So where's Mon?

嘿。莫妮卡呢？

Chandler

Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.

哦，她在家，为瑞秋今晚的生日派对布置装饰。

Joey

And you're not helping?

你不帮忙吗？

Chandler

I tried, but apparently singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping.

我试过了，但很明显，用尖细的氦气嗓音唱《我会活下去》——帮了倒忙。

(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma in Rachel's hands)

（罗斯和瑞秋走进来，瑞秋抱着艾玛）

Ross

Hey you guys!

嘿，大家好！

Joey and Chandler

(start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...

（开始唱）嘿！生日快乐……

Rachel

Shhh don't say that loud, Gunther's gonna want to hug me.

嘘，别大声说，冈瑟会想来抱我的。

Ross

Uh, good news everyone, we finally found a nanny. This is Molly (points to Molly). Molly, Chandler, Joey.

呃，各位好消息，我们终于找到保姆了。这位是茉莉（指向茉莉）。茉莉，这是钱德和乔伊。

Joey and Chandler

Hi.

嗨。

Molly

Hi.

嗨。

(Emma starts to cry)

（艾玛开始哭）

Ross

Ooh, somebody's getting a little fussy.

哦，小家伙有点闹脾气了。

Joey

You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.

可不是嘛，我等一块饼干都等了7分钟了。

Rachel

Ok, you know what, I'm just gonna take her outside.

好吧，这样吧，我带她出去一下。

Molly

No, you stay, I'll do it (takes Emma from Rachel).

不用，你坐着，我来就行（从瑞秋手里接过艾玛）。

Rachel

OK, thank you.

好的，谢谢。

Molly

Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).

很高兴见到你们两位（对钱德和乔伊说）。

Joey

Yeah, you too.

我们也很高兴见到你。

(Molly leaves)

（茉莉离开）

Rachel

Oh, wow, Molly is just great!

哇，茉莉人真好！

Ross

Yeah.

是啊。

Chandler

Yes, Bravo on the hot nanny.

可不是嘛，这个漂亮保姆太赞了。

Rachel

What? You really think she's hot?

什么？你真觉得她很漂亮？

Chandler

Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now.

你开玩笑吧？要是我没结婚，她现在估计都在拒绝我了。

Rachel

And Joey?

那乔伊呢？

Joey

How do you think she's doing?

你觉得她人怎么样？

Rachel

Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?

难道只有我觉得她不漂亮吗？罗斯？

Ross

Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....

呃，我是说，她不难看，但要说漂亮？我觉得……

Rachel

Thank you! (goes to get coffee)

谢了！（去拿咖啡）

Chandler

Now that Rachel's gone?

瑞秋走了，说实话？

Rachel

So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)

美得我昨晚哭着睡着的。（乔伊和钱德拍手叫好）

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Phoebe

Hey Mike, what's the capital of Peru?

嘿迈克，秘鲁的首都是什么？

Mike

Lima.

利马。

Phoebe

No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.

不对。首字母是v，尾字母是x。中间还有to。

Mike

You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh!

这么一想，秘鲁首都确实是vtox。（打开厨房橱柜）天啊！哦！

Phoebe

What?

怎么了？

Mike

OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.

我不想吓到你，但我好像刚看到你橱柜里有只老鼠。

Phoebe

(relived) Oh, whew, no, that's Bob.

（松了口气）哦，还好，那是鲍勃。

Mike

What, is he your pet rat?

什么，它是你的宠物鼠？

Phoebe

Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.

算不上宠物，就是偶尔来串门的客人，我会给它放点吃的。有点像圣诞老人。只不过圣诞老人不会在饼干盘子里拉屎。

Mike

You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.

你不能在公寓里养老鼠！太不卫生了，还会传播钩端螺旋体病和汉坦病毒。

Phoebe

What are those?

那是什么？

Mike

I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!

我不知道，但听着就不像什么水疗项目。你必须把它弄走！

Phoebe

OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.

好吧，行，你这么在意的话，我就把鲍勃弄走。

Mike

Thank you.

谢谢。

Phoebe

So weird, you think he's so gross and you're willing to eat his crackers. (Mike throws out everything in his mouth)

真奇怪，你觉得它这么恶心，还愿意吃它碰过的饼干。（迈克把嘴里的东西全吐了）

Rachel

Hello.

你好。

Gavin

Hello

你好。

Rachel

Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an apology.

加文，我想再次谢谢你昨天我做报告时帮我照看艾玛。我真的得跟你道歉。

Gavin

For what?

为什么道歉？

Rachel

Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...

我们刚认识的时候，我觉得你自负、傲慢、讨人厌……

Gavin

Is this your first apology?

这是你第一次道歉吗？

Rachel

No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.

不是，我是说第一印象不算数。我觉得你人真的很好，很抱歉我之前看错你了。

(Heather walks in)

（希瑟走进来）

Heather

Good morning!

早上好！

Rachel

Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.

你好。（对加文说）但你知道吗，新的一天，新的开始，我真的特别开心……（看到加文盯着希瑟看）抱歉，显然希瑟的屁股有更重要的事要说，我就等它说完吧。

Gavin

What?

什么？

Rachel

I was giving you an apology and you were totally checking her out!

我在跟你道歉，你却一直在偷看她！

Gavin

I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.

我没有偷看她。我做时尚行业的，我在看她的裙子。还是裤子来着？我没看清屁股以下的部分。

Rachel

Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.

天啊，你真的太猥琐了。

Gavin

Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?

你管我看没看她？你吃醋了？

Rachel

Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.

是啊，我吃醋了。“哦加文，拜托拜托看我的屁股”。（加文开始看）别盯着我屁股看！我是说，你这样太不合适了，好吗？这是工作场合，她是你的下属。

Gavin

I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.

你跟你的前助理泰格上床的时候，怎么不说不合适？

Rachel

That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.

完全不一样，有两个原因。第一，我不知道你知道这事。第二，我没像个变态一样盯着他屁股看，我们是认真交往过的。

Gavin

Huh. What's Tag's last name?

呵。泰格姓什么？

Rachel

It was ... (can't remember) oh my god. He didn't have a last name. It was just "Tag". You know, like Cher, or, you know, Moses.

他姓……（想不起来）天啊。他没有姓，就叫泰格。就像雪儿，还有摩西一样。

Gavin

But it was a deap meaningful relationship.

还说是认真交往过呢。

Rachel

Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh!

算了，我对你的第一印象完全没错。你傲慢、自负……摩根！摩根！泰格姓摩根！哼！

Gavin

It was Jones.

他姓琼斯。

Rachel

Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?

那你是他男朋友啊？

Joey

Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.

天啊，我要是有你这样的保姆就好了。

Molly

You mean, when you were a baby.

你是说你小时候吧。

Joey

Sure.

是啊。

(Chandler is staring at Molly)

（钱德盯着茉莉看）

Monica

Would you stop staring at her?

别盯着她看了行吗？

Chandler

I wasn't staring. I was leering.

我没盯着看，我只是瞟几眼。

Monica

What's the big deal with her? Maybe she's attractive in an obvious kind of way.

她有什么好看的？就是那种一眼看上去漂亮的类型罢了。

Ross

Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.

是啊，这种直白的美貌最没劲了。一眼就能看到的美。我就喜欢慢慢发现别人的美，这样才觉得是自己争取来的。

Chandler

Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.

看来乔伊跟她聊得挺投机。

Monica

Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.

是啊。你们这次难得没拦着，让乔伊去追女孩了。

Molly

(to Ross) I'm gonna take her back to the apartment.

（对罗斯说）我带她回公寓了。

Ross

Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...

好，我下班后马上回家。拜拜，艾玛玛，我爱你，爱你爱你……

Molly

Bye

拜拜。

Monica

They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk - it's not so good.

大家让我跟你说，别跟宝宝说儿语，不太好。

Molly

I think it's sweet. (goes to leave)

我觉得很可爱呀。（准备离开）

Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.

拜拜，艾玛玛。

Rachel

(to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.

（对乔伊说）嘿乔伊，关于茉莉，我希望你别追她。

Joey

Why not?

为什么？

Rachel

Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.

我们花了好几个月才找到一个好保姆，我不想有什么事把她逼走。

Joey

So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.

所以你觉得我会跟她上床就甩了她，弄得大家尴尬？（想了想）嗯，差不多是这样。

Ross

Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.

别这样，外面有的是女人。别想她了，好吗？她是禁区。

Joey

Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!

天啊，你干嘛非要这么说？你一说不让我追，我反而更想要她了！

Ross

What are you, a child?

你是小孩吗？

Joey

Yes!

是！

Ross

Joey, come on now, for me! Please, just-just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.

乔伊，求你了，看在我的面子上！把心思放在别的女人身上吧。

Joey

Fine. (looks around, then focuses on Monica)

好吧。（环顾四周，然后盯着莫妮卡）

Monica

(to Chandler) Take me home! (they quickly leave)

（对钱德说）带我回家！（两人迅速离开）

Phoebe

Hey Mikey

嘿迈克。

Mike

Hey P

嘿菲比。

Phoebe

What are you doing?

你在干嘛？

Mike

Setting rat traps.

放捕鼠夹。

Phoebe

To kill Bob??

要杀鲍勃吗？

Mike

No, no, to test his neck strength.

不是，就是试试它脖子硬不硬。

Phoebe

No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possum and a wisecracking owl.

不行迈克，我不想杀它！我以为我们只是抓住它，然后把它放生到乡下，让它能遇到友好的负鼠和爱说俏皮话的猫头鹰。

Mike

Ok, ok, I'll throw away the traps.

好好好，我把捕鼠夹扔了。

Phoebe

I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!

我去找鲍勃。鲍勃？（开始找）鲍勃！罗伯特！（看向水槽下的橱柜）等等，我好像听到它声音了。哦——天啊！鲍勃生宝宝了！鲍勃是妈妈！

Mike

Better think of a new name for him.

那得给它换个新名字了。

Phoebe

I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.

不用吧，女生叫鲍勃也挺好听的。

Mike

I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...

我不太确定。（厨房另一处传来咔哒声，应该是老鼠被夹子夹住了）

Phoebe

Oh my god, we killed Bob!

天啊，我们把鲍勃弄死了！

Mike

Maybe it wasn't Bob, maybe it was a mouse.

可能不是鲍勃，是别的老鼠。

Phoebe

Suzie? (Runs over there to check)

苏西？（跑过去查看）

Ross

(funny voice) Whazzup???

（搞怪语气）咋样啊？

Chandler

Seriously dude, 3 years ago.

大哥，这梗三年前就过时了。

Ross

Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?

帮我个忙行吗？我今天要出门。帮我盯着点乔伊，别让他和茉莉出事。

Chandler

You don't trust him?

你不信任他？

Ross

Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".

不是，刚才有个声音特别像乔伊的女人打电话来，找她女儿，就是那个“漂亮保姆”。

Chandler

Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.

你打算一直让我帮你拦着他？我随时都可能找到工作的。

Ross

You do appear right on the cusp of something. Come on man, I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two, but for now can you please just do this for me?

你看着确实快找到工作了。拜托，我肯定他一两周就没兴趣了，现在帮我一下行吗？

Chandler

All right, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.

行吧，但没拦住可别怪我。你我都清楚，乔伊一旦盯上什么，多半都能得手。

Ross

Well we gotta do something, ok? Nannies like her don't grow on trees. (pause)

我们总得想办法，好吗？这么好的保姆可不好找。（停顿）

Chandler

Picturing that tree?

在想“保姆树”长什么样？

Ross

I am, yes.

嗯，是啊。

Chandler

Where you going, Joe?

乔，你去哪儿？

(Joey falls on floor and gets up)

（乔伊摔倒在地，然后爬起来）

Joey

For a walk.

散散步。

Chandler

Oh. You mind if I join you?

哦，介意我一起吗？

Joey

Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.

我要走很久，我得好好捋捋思路。

Chandler

Your thoughts? Plural?

你的思路？还不止一个？

Joey

All right, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!

好吧，我就一个念头！我要去找那个漂亮保姆！

Chandler

I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.

乔，恐怕我不能让你去。

Joey

Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?

连你也不让我见她？你们要逼死我啊！她是禁果！就像……她是公主，我是马夫……你们为什么要这么做？罗斯让你拦着我的？

Chandler

Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.

没错，是他让我拦着你，所以我不能让你去。

Joey

Huh. Interesting. Now there are obstacles. Hot nanny and me against the world. This is the kind of stuff great novels are made of.

呵，有意思。现在有阻碍了。我和漂亮保姆要对抗全世界。这就是伟大小说里的情节啊。

Chandler

Great novels?

伟大小说？

Joey

Fine ... mediocre porn

好吧……普通色情小说。

Gavin

Gavin Mitchelle's office.

加文·米切尔办公室。

Rachel

Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)

是瑞秋·格林办公室！把电话给我！（抢过电话）你好，我是瑞秋·格林，有什么事？嗯……好的……我把电话还给你儿子。（把电话给加文）

Gavin

Hey Mom! No, that's just my secretary. (Rachel is upset)

妈！不是，她就是我秘书。（瑞秋很生气）

Rachel

Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.

加文，打扰一下，我有个问题要问你。

Gavin

Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up)(to Rachel) Yes?

妈，我晚点打给你。好。（挂电话）怎么了？

Rachel

If you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look at a mirror?

你这么喜欢看屁股，怎么不照照镜子？

Gavin

Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?

谢天谢地你终于说出来了，三小时前我就看到你在本子上写这句话了。（瑞秋把纸条扔了）我是不是真的很惹你烦？

Rachel

Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.

拜托，你还没重要到能惹我烦的地步。从现在起，我要大度一点，对你超级好，你这个“妈宝男”，现在就开始。

(door knock, Monica enters)

（有人敲门，莫妮卡走进来）

Monica

Hey Rach!

嘿瑞！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Ready for your birthday lunch?

准备好吃生日午餐了吗？

Rachel

Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleague and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.

准备好了！对了莫妮卡，我给你介绍一下，这位是我很有才华的同事，更是我超棒的朋友加文·米切尔。

Gavin

Pleased to meet you.

很高兴认识你。

Monica

Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?

我也是。你今晚来瑞秋的派对吗？

Rachel

Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.

不不不，加文来不了，他有约了，大概率是陪他妈妈。

Gavin

Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday. (leaves)

我不介意，我可以取消。我绝不会错过我秘书的生日派对。（离开）

Rachel

Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!

你干嘛邀请他？我受不了他！

Monica

You were just being so nice to him!

你刚才对他那么好！

Rachel

I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?

我装的！我装的时候你看不出来吗？

(A man walks by)

（一个男人走过）

Rachel

Hey, Mr Philips, nice suit!

嘿菲利普先生，西装真好看！

Monica

Right there! That was so fake!

你看！刚才就是装的！

Rachel

Shh!

嘘！

Rachel

(to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.

（对莫妮卡说）我真不敢相信你邀请了加文，他是我最不想见的人。

Monica

Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time.

不客气，派对是我办的，很高兴你玩得开心。

Rachel

God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.

天啊，希望他别来。他肯定不会来的，他讨厌我。

Monica

Does he?

是吗？

Rachel

What?

什么？

Monica

Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?

他老惹你，说不定是喜欢你呢。就像一年级时，斯基皮·兰怀尔德总在操场推我，其实是暗恋我。

Rachel

Oh, Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those buys had a bet to see if he can knock you over.

莫妮卡，你真以为斯基皮喜欢你？亲爱的，那些男生都在打赌，看他能不能把你推倒。

Molly

(with Emma in a basinet) She's out, I'm gonna take her home.

（婴儿篮里抱着艾玛）她睡着了，我带她回家了。

Rachel

Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves)(to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?

好的，谢谢。（茉莉离开）你说男生们到底看上她什么了？

Monica

Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down)

反正不会赶她下床。我不喝伏特加了！（放下酒杯）

(Joey comes over)

（乔伊走过来）

Joey

Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?

嘿瑞，我现在能给你唱生日歌了吗？

Rachel

Yeah, sure!

当然可以！

Joey

Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)

哦……（开始唱）生日快……（看到茉莉离开）哦，回头见。（追着茉莉跑了）

Monica

Hey Rach, somebody got you shoes!

嘿瑞，有人送你鞋子！

Rachel

Oh, give me! (opens the box happily, then gets freaked and throws away the box, she and Mon jump up the sofa)

给我！（开心地打开盒子，然后吓到把盒子扔了，她和莫妮卡跳到沙发上）

Phoebe

Be careful, be careful! These are my rat babies!

小心点！这是我的鼠宝宝！

Mike

Yeah. We have rat babies now.

是啊，我们现在有鼠宝宝了。

Rachel

Ahhhh , you brought rats to my birthday party?

啊——你把老鼠带到我的生日派对上？

Monica

So this is what a stroke feels like.

原来中风是这种感觉。

Phoebe

I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.

我必须带来！我们弄死了它们妈妈，现在得对它们负责。它们需要一直照顾，瑞秋你也是妈妈，你应该懂。

Rachel

Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?

你把我女儿和老鼠比？

Phoebe

No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them.

不是！是七只老鼠！我们该带它们回家喂奶了。

Rachel

whhh wait, you're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?

等等，你要离开我的派对，去照顾一盒子老鼠？

Phoebe

Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)

抱歉瑞秋，我不像你，不是所有人都请得起保姆。（和迈克离开）

(Ross gets out of the bathroom, sees Chandler)

（罗斯从卫生间出来，看到钱德）

Ross

Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.

乔伊和茉莉跑哪儿去了？我让你盯着他们的。

Chandler

(In a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry, I got a little occupied.

（拿着气球，用尖细嗓音）抱歉，我有点事耽搁了。

Ross

We have to stop them before something happens!

我们得拦住他们，别出事！

Chandler

(still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)

（还是尖细嗓音）马上来，老兄！（两人朝门口跑去）

Joey

So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline. It takes a lot of hard work.

茉莉，你知道吗，很多人不懂，演戏是一门学问，要付出很多努力。

Molly

So where did you study?

那你在哪儿学的？

Joey

Oh, I didn't go to college.

我没上过大学。

Molly

No, where did you study acting?

不是，你在哪儿学的演戏？

Joey

Molly ... people don't study acting ...

茉莉，演戏不用学的……

(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)

（罗斯和钱德走进来，乔伊一脸失望）

Ross

Molly, ah, do you mind giving us just a minute?

茉莉，能让我们单独聊一下吗？

Molly

Sure, I'll go check on Emma.

好，我去看看艾玛。

Ross

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Molly gets up and walks away)

（茉莉起身离开）

Joey

(upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??

（郁闷）马夫就永远得不到公主吗？

Ross

What do you think you're gonna do, have sex with her right here on my couch?

你想干嘛？在我沙发上跟她上床？

Joey

No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.

不是……皮沙发粘屁股。这不公平，你们凭什么觉得我会跟她上床就甩了她？就不能往好处想，我是真喜欢她，想认真交往吗？（停顿）说实话，自从瑞秋后，我再也没对谁有过这种感觉，我以为我不会再爱了。

(pause)

（停顿）

Ross and Chandler

Come on! Joe!

别扯了乔！

Joey

Ok (admits)

好吧。（承认）

(knock on door, Ross opens, it's a woman)

（有人敲门，罗斯开门，是个女人）

Woman

Hi, is Molly here?

你好，茉莉在吗？

Ross

Yeah, come on in. Molly?

在，进来吧。茉莉？

Molly

(goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.

（走出房间）嘿！各位，这是塔巴莎。（两人浪漫地亲吻）明天见。

Ross

Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.

好。（两人离开房间，长时间沉默）乔伊，看来没问题了。

Joey

It's like my favorite fairy tale come true! (Chandler looks at him) The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian!

我最喜欢的童话成真了！（钱德看着他）公主、马夫，还有女同！

Phoebe

Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.

好了，你去冲奶粉，我换盒子，然后让它们睡觉。

Mike

Hey, when did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats?

我们什么时候成了围着老鼠转的情侣了？

Phoebe

Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.

它们现在是我们的责任。

Mike

Ok, fine, these rats are our responsibility. What happens when they mate and there are hundreds of them?

行吧，它们是我们的责任。它们交配生几百只怎么办？

Phoebe

Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.

交配？它们都是兄弟姐妹。

Mike

Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.

老鼠才不管这个，它们是“身边有谁就爱谁”的动物。

Phoebe

No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?

不会吧。（打开盒子）天啊，别趴在你妹妹身上！我们该怎么办？我们有7只老鼠，每只生7只，再生7只，那就是……（掰手指算）我都算不清了！怎么办？

Mike

Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.

我知道这话有点离谱，但我们不能让一盒子老鼠毁了我们的生活。

Phoebe

Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. All right, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.

是啊，你说得对。我们把它们送人吧，送给有小孩、善良的人家，还要送低脂全麦饼干，鲍勃最爱吃。

Mike

It's gonna be ok.

会没事的。

Phoebe

You must think I'm crazy.

你肯定觉得我疯了。

Mike

No, I think you're sweet.

没有，我觉得你很可爱。

Phoebe

Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?

那就好。我舍不得它们，很难放手。这让我想起以前……我帮我弟弟生了三胞胎，最后却不得不送走他们。（迈克很震惊）我还没跟你说过这事吧？

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?

嗨。谢谢你办的派对，我帮你收拾吗？

Monica

No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?

不用！你的派对结束了，该我嗨了！你没事吧？

Rachel

Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over.

没事，生日过完了有点失落。

Monica

Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).

至少有件事值得开心，你办公室那个讨厌的加文没来。（加文出现在阳台门口）

Rachel

Mmm hmm.

嗯。

Gavin

Yeah, hey. (comes in to the balcony)

嘿。（走进阳台）

Monica

Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover.

我们没说你，这下尴尬了。

Rachel

No.

是啊。

(Monica goes back inside)

（莫妮卡回到屋里）

Gavin

Nice party.

派对不错。

Rachel

Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...

是啊，你要是（看他的手表）九点半才来，当然错过了。天啊，派对都快结束了。

Monica

(from inside) Again, you're welcome.

（屋里传来）不客气。

Gavin

Look, I'll just give you this and go.

我把这个给你就走。

Rachel

Oh, you bought me a present! Why?

你给我买礼物了？为什么？

Gavin

Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.

我跟你说说生日派对的规矩吧，有礼物、蛋糕，还有几个人。我送你礼物，是为了弥补之前对你那么差。

Rachel

Aww. Well, ok, well that's very nice. And you wrote a card (opens the card). "From Gavin"

哇，太好了，谢谢你。还写了贺卡。（打开贺卡）“加文赠”。

Gavin

I really mean it.

我是真心的。

Rachel

(opens the present, it's a green scarf) Awww, awww, it's beautiful.

（打开礼物，是一条绿色围巾）哇，真好看。

Gavin

You don't mind? (puts it around her neck) Well, what do you know, it fits!

介意吗？（帮她围上）真合适！

Rachel

See, Gavin, you're capable of being a nice guy. Why did you give me such a hard time?

你看，你也可以很温柔啊，之前为什么总跟我作对？

Gavin

I'm not sure.

我也不知道。

Rachel

Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.

莫妮卡说你是因为喜欢我，才总惹我。

Gavin

I do have feelings for you.

我对你确实有感觉。

Rachel

You do?

真的？

Gavin

Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.

是啊，我觉得你有点烦人。

Rachel

See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)

你看，为什么？我刚对你改观，你就……（他吻了她）还来这招……（两人再次亲吻）

cut to Ross from his appartment, holding baby toys and is shocked to see them kissing

镜头转到罗斯家，罗斯拿着婴儿玩具，震惊地看到两人亲吻

ENDING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Chandler

(sings in a helium voice) First I was afraid, I was petrified (very happy)

（用尖细嗓音唱）起初我害怕，我吓坏了。（一脸开心）

Phoebe

(walks in) Hey

（走进来）嘿。

Chandler

(normal voice) Hi

（正常语气）嗨。

Phoebe

Listen, I think I've left something here.

我好像落了东西在这儿。

Chandler

Oh, well someone left this (shows a green jacket). This is yours?

有人落了这个。（拿出一件绿色外套）是你的吗？

Phoebe

(likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.

（喜欢这件外套）不是，但我挺喜欢。我好像落了一只鼠宝宝在这儿。

Chandler

Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.

我没看到，看到了告诉你。

Monica

Oh my god! Rat baby! Rat baby! Rat baby! (screams from another room)

天啊！鼠宝宝！鼠宝宝！（另一个房间尖叫）

Phoebe

(realizes) Ooh, maybe that's him!

（反应过来）哦，应该是它！

END

结束