The One Where Rachael Goes Back to Work

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Good morning, Tiger! I'm making you a nice big breakfast so you can keep up your strength for tonight. You're gonna get me good and pregnant.

早安，小老虎！我给你做了丰盛的早餐，好让你今晚有力气。你要让我怀上宝宝。

Chandler

I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed! I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.

今早我无处可去，我失业了！我都不知道以后该怎么办。

Monica

Well, I just lost my erection.

好吧，我现在没兴致了。

Chandler

I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?

我是说，我该怎么安排自己？

Monica

You're supposed to find your passion in life. You can be whatever you wanna be now. It's exciting.

你该找到人生的热爱。现在你可以成为任何你想成为的人，多令人兴奋啊。

Chandler

But it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.

但一切都太让人不知所措了，我都不知道从哪儿开始。

Monica

Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this. You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications, and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files!

嘿，等一下，我能帮你。你只需要理理思路，我们可以列一份你的能力清单，再按行业给工作分类，还能做文件夹和档案呢！

Chandler

Hey! This is where your hyper-organized-pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off!

嘿！你那过分爱整理的烦人毛病终于派上用场了！

Monica

I know! My erection is back!

可不是嘛！我又有兴致了！

Joey

(To Gunther who comes over with coffee and a muffin) Thank you!

（对端着咖啡和松饼走过来的冈瑟说）谢谢！

Phoebe

Joey, can I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?

乔伊，我能喝一口你的咖啡、吃一口你的松饼吗？

Joey

Okay.

可以。

Phoebe

Thank you. (Pours his coffee in a thermos and puts his muffin in her purse.) Thank you!

谢谢。（把他的咖啡倒进保温瓶，松饼放进自己包里）谢谢啦！

Joey

Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?

菲比，你见过饿极了的意大利人会咬人吗？

Phoebe

I'm sorry, it's just, I'm a little short on cash.

抱歉，我只是手头有点紧。

Joey

If you want I could loan you some money?

需要的话我可以借你点钱。

Phoebe

Oh no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends. No, that's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.

不不不，我可从不跟朋友借钱。理查德·德莱弗斯和我绝交就是因为这事儿。

Joey

Oh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?

哦，对了，要不这样？来我的剧里当群演吧？

Phoebe

You could do that?

你能帮我安排？

Joey

Yeah, yeah. The pay is pretty good and you could do it for as long as you need.

当然啦，报酬还不错，想干多久都行。

Phoebe

Oh my god, I'm gonna be on TV!

天啊，我要上电视了！

Joey

Okay, now. I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.

不过我得跟你说，上电视可没你想的那么光鲜刺激。

Phoebe

Oh, really?

真的吗？

Joey

No it is awesome!

骗你的，超棒的！

(Rachel and Ross enter with Emma)

（瑞秋和罗斯带着爱玛走进来）

Ross

Hi guys.

大家好。

All

Hello.

嗨。

Phoebe

Wow! Hey, why are you all dressed up?

哇！你们怎么打扮得这么正式？

Ross

Rachel and I are bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone. Doesn't she look cute?

我和瑞秋今天带爱玛去拉夫劳伦公司，把她介绍给大家。她是不是超可爱？

Joey

She sure does. Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?

确实可爱。怎么在她头上贴了个粉色蝴蝶结？

Rachel

Well, because if one more person says "what a cute little boy" I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna!

再有人说她是“可爱的小男孩”，我就用车天线抽他！

Ross

I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh? She's gonna be hotter than peasant blouses and A-line skirts. Can I get a blue bow?

她肯定会成办公室的焦点，比田园风衬衫和A字裙还受欢迎。我能戴个蓝色蝴蝶结吗？

Monica

(Flipping through a bunch of folders as Chandler enters from bathroom) Okay, I have looked through a bunch of career guides, photocopied and highlighted key passages and put them into alphabetical folders so you can make an informed decision.

（钱德勒从浴室出来时，她正翻着一堆文件夹）好了，我翻了好多职业指南，复印并标注了重点内容，还按字母顺序分好了文件夹，你可以好好做决定了。

Chandler

How long was I in there?

我在浴室待了多久？

Monica

Okay. Let us start with the A's. Advertising.

好了，从A开头的开始吧，广告业。

Chandler

Wait. Advertising! That's a great idea!

等等，广告业！这主意太棒了！

Monica

Don't you want to look through the rest?

不看看其他的了？

Chandler

I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense. Sorry you had to waste all this time, though.

不用看了，广告业太适合我了。不过抱歉让你白费了这么多功夫。

Monica

You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time? Ooh, now I get to use my shredder!

我花八小时跟我的标签机待在一起，你管这叫白费功夫？哦，现在我可以用碎纸机了！

Chandler

I mean, I can write slogans. I mean, how hard can it be, right? "Cheese. It's milk that you chew." "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy." "A grape. Because who can get a water melon in your mouth?"

毕竟没人能把西瓜塞进嘴里。”

Monica

I got one. "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best."

家人的双脚值得最好的呵护。”

Chandler

Honey? Leave it to the pros.

亲爱的，还是交给专业人士吧。

Monica

I actually know someone in advertising. I grew up with this guy who is a vice president at a big agency. Maybe I can get him to meet you? Give me the phone.

我还真认识广告圈的人，我发小是一家大广告公司的副总裁，或许我能帮你约他见一面。把手机给我。

Chandler

"The phone. Bringing you closer to people...who have phones."

拉近你和……有手机的人的距离。”

Monica

"Marriage. It's not for everybody."

并非人人都适合。”

Rachel

That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.

过程挺顺利的，几乎所有人都知道她是女孩了。

Ross

Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.

是啊，你揍了那个认错性别的人之后，大家就都知道了。

Rachel

I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff . (To the guy behind her desk) Who the hell are you!?

我去我办公室拿点东西。（对着坐在她办公桌后的男人说）你到底是谁？！

Guy

Who the hell are you?

你又是谁？

Rachel

I'm the hell person whose office this is!

我才是这间办公室的主人！

Ross

Good one, Raych.

说得好，瑞秋。

Gavin

I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taken over your job.

我是加文·米切尔，接替你工作的人。

Rachel

Excuse me?

你说什么？

Gavin

Oh, your baby's so cute. Why did you put a pink bow on a boy?

哦，你的宝宝真可爱，怎么给小男孩戴粉色蝴蝶结？

Phoebe

Joey, look at me! I'm a nurse!

乔伊，看我！我是护士了！

Joey

Yes you are. I think it may be time for my sponge bath. Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras. So, are you excited about your scene?

没错。我觉得该给我擦身了。抱歉，我就是习惯跟群演搭讪了。要上场了，紧张吗？

Phoebe

Yeah! But I'm a little shaky and nervous.

紧张！还有点发抖。

Joey

Oh, relax. Don't be. You'll be fine, you'll be fine. They'll probably just make you stand in the back.

放轻松，没事的。你肯定没问题，说不定就让你站在后面当背景板。

Director

Okay, okay, okay! (To Phoebe) You. Here, come here, here. You're gonna take this tray, you're gonna stay on this yellow mark. You're gonna move on "action!" You're gonna walk over to the operating table. You're gonna stop on that blue mark, you're gonna put the tray down. Don't walk too fast! But don't doddle.

好了好了好了！（对菲比说）你，过来。你拿着这个托盘，站在黄色标记上。我喊“开拍”你就走向手术台，停在蓝色标记上，放下托盘。别走太快，也别磨磨蹭蹭。

Phoebe

Okay, now. What?

好，然后呢？

Director

And...Action!

开拍！

(Phoebe starts walking toward the operating table. Her hands are shaking like crazy, causing the tray to rattle.)

（菲比走向手术台，双手抖得厉害，托盘不停晃响）

Director

Cut! Cut!

停！停！

Phoebe

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous.

对不起对不起对不起，我就是有点紧张。

Director

Well, don't be.

别紧张不就行了。

Phoebe

Okay, that helps.

这话可太有用了。

Director

And...Action!

开拍！

(Phoebe starts walking towards the table again. She's even more shaky than before and almost drops the tray.)

（菲比再次走向手术台，抖得更厉害了，差点把托盘摔了）

Director

Cut!

停！

Joey

Hey, you know what? Don't worry, Pheebs! It usually takes me three takes too! (Off the director's look) Alright, eight.

别担心菲比！我拍戏通常也要NG三次！（看到导演的眼神）好吧，八次。

Director

And...Action!

开拍！

(Ok, here we go again. Phoebe starts walking toward the operating table, but stops every time the tray starts to rattle. She eventually drops it on the floor, but finishes the scene anyway by putting the now non-existent tray on the table.)

（再来一次。菲比走向手术台，托盘一晃响她就停下，最后托盘掉在了地上，但她还是走完流程，把空无一物的托盘“放”在了手术台上）

Interviewer

So, do you have any other question about advertising?

关于广告行业，你还有其他问题吗？

Chandler

No, no. But let me show you what I can do. "Bagels and donuts. Round food for every mood."

“百吉饼与甜甜圈，治愈所有心情的圆形美味。”

Interviewer

Monica warned me you might do that. I actually think we might have something for you at the agency.

莫妮卡提前跟我说你会这样。我们公司确实有个职位可能适合你。

Chandler

Really? That's great!

真的吗？太好了！

Interviewer

It's an unpaid internship.

是无薪实习岗位。

Chandler

It's funny. When you said "unpaid" it sounded like you said "unpaid."

真有意思，你说“无薪”的时候，我听着就是“无薪”。

Interviewer

Come on now. Monica has a good job. And it's not like you have a family to support.

别这样，莫妮卡工作挺好的，你又不用养家。

Chandler

Actually, we're trying, and I don't think Monica's gonna wanna postpone it. We're supposed to have sex tonight. Actually, she's probably at home naked right now. I tend to keep talking until somebody stops me. I can just picture her on the bed right now.

我们正准备要孩子，莫妮卡肯定不想推迟。我们今晚本来要造人的，她现在说不定在家光着身子呢。没人打断我的话我就会一直说，我都能想象她躺在床上的样子了。

Interviewer

Stop!

别说了！

Interviewer

Okay.

好了。

Rachel

Wait a minute! What do you mean, you're taking over my job?

等一下！你说接替我的工作是什么意思？

Gavin

Well, while you were on your baby vacation I was doing your job.

你休产假的时候，我一直在做你的工作。

Rachel

A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.

产假？我理解的假期可不会有东西把我乳头吸到破皮。

Gavin

Clearly you've never been to Sandles Paradise Island.

看来你从没去过桑德尔斯天堂岛度假。

Rachel

Alright! Don't get too comfortable there, because I'm back in two weeks! And I want everything back to the way it was. I can't say that I care too much for the way you've rearranged my office.

行了！别太得意，我两周后就回来！所有东西都得恢复原样，我可不喜欢你把我办公室弄成这样。

Gavin

I can't say I care too much for that smell you've brought in with you.

我也不喜欢你身上带进来的味道。

Rachel

Excuse me?

你说什么？

Ross

Rach we have a code brown situation.

瑞秋，紧急情况（宝宝拉臭臭了）。

Rachel

Can you please, please take care of it for me?

拜托你帮我处理一下好不好？

Ross

Alright, but you have to do one sometime.

好吧，但你总得自己处理一次。

Rachel

Let me just get this straight! So I go have a baby and they send some guy in to do my job?

我就想弄明白！我去生孩子，他们就找人来顶替我？

Gavin

Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren all together.

公司本来还打算关掉拉夫劳伦整个部门呢。

Rachel

That's right. You're very cheeky for a temp.

是吗？作为临时工，你脸皮可真厚。

Gavin

I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department.

我不是临时工，我是从其他部门调过来的。

Rachel

Oh yeah, what department was that? The Jerk department?

是吗？哪个部门？讨厌鬼部门？

Gavin

Oh, they didn't tell me about your quick wit.

他们没跟我说你嘴这么厉害。

Rachel

Did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue?

你骂人的话都会反弹到自己身上）？

Mr. Zelner

(Enters) Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas.

（走进来）加文，拉尔夫很喜欢你的方案。

Rachel

Oh, hi Mr. Zelner.

泽尔纳先生好。

Mr. Zelner

Rachel, I see you've met Gavin. I must say, when you left us we weren't sure what we were gonna do. But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavi.!

瑞秋，看来你见过加文了。说实话，你休假后我们都手足无措，幸好有加文救场，超级加文！

Rachel

That's great. So now, Super Gavin, when I come back where are you planning on flying off to?

真好。那超级加文，我回来后，你打算飞到哪儿去？

Gavin

Well, that's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he will make the right decision.

听泽尔纳先生安排，他肯定会做出正确决定。

Rachel

(To herself) Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power.

（小声嘀咕）哇，超级拍马屁神功。

Mr. Zelner

Incidentally, when are you coming back?

对了，你打算什么时候回来上班？

Rachel

Today.

今天。

Gavin

You said two weeks.

你说的是两周后。

Rachel

No, I said today! See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening.

我说是今天！看来超级英雄的听力不太行啊。

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey. So, what did he say?

嘿，他怎么说？

Joey

Well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot, with the word "puppy." Okay, so he said: "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I'm gonna fire her mother-puppy ass."

“你这个小狗朋友再不好好演她的小狗戏，我就炒了她这个狗娘养的。”

Phoebe

I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm not an actor.

对不起，我演不了，我不是演员。

Joey

That's right, you're not. You're a nurse. You're Nurse With Tray.

你本来就不是，你是护士，端托盘的护士。

Phoebe

Joey.

乔伊。

Joey

No, no. Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey, she doesn't have time for friends. She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor, because if she doesn't, people die!

端托盘的护士不认识乔伊，她没时间交朋友。她走进手术室，把托盘端给医生，不然会死人的！

Phoebe

Who dies?

谁会死？

Joey

(Points to man on operating table) Man With Eye Patch! You get in there and you do your job.

（指着手术台上的男人）戴眼罩的男人！进去好好演你的戏。

Phoebe

Yes, doctor.

好的，医生。

Joey

Okay.

好。

Director

Okay, let's try this one more time.

好了，再试一次。

Phoebe

Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch, your tray is coming!

坚持住，戴眼罩的，托盘来啦！

Director

And...Action!

开拍！

Phoebe

(Does the scene) Yes, I did it! I nailed it! Yay! What's next?

（顺利演完）我做到了！太完美了！耶！接下来呢？

Director

The rest of the scene.

把剩下的戏份演完。

Phoebe

Okay, from the top, people!

好，大家从头来！

Rachel

Listen. Sudden change of plans. My maternity leave just ended. They told me that if I didn't come back today, they were gonna fire me.

听着，计划临时变了，我的产假结束了。公司说我今天不回来就开除我。

Ross

What? No, that's illegal. I'm gonna have the labor department down her so fast they won't even...

什么？这是违法的！我马上叫劳工部的人过来，他们绝对……

Rachel

Alright, alright. Calm down Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that. I'm just afraid if I don't come back right now this guy's gonna try to squeeze me out.

好了好了，别激动。他们没真这么说，我就是怕我不马上回来，这家伙会把我挤走。

Ross

What about Emma? We don't have a nanny.

那爱玛怎么办？我们还没找保姆。

Rachel

I know. You know, we're just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight. Can you please just take care of her for today?

我知道，我们今晚再想办法。你今天能帮我照顾她吗？

Ross

Absolutely. Just give me your breast and we'll be on our way.

当然，把奶喂了我们就走。

Rachel

Come on, I don't know what else to do.

别闹了，我实在没办法了。

Ross

Fine, fine. (To Emma) We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will, yes we will. (Gives her a kiss, and the pink bow tapes itself to his head.)

好吧好吧。（对爱玛说）我们会玩得很开心，对不对？是的，会的。（亲了爱玛一口，粉色蝴蝶结粘到了他头上）

Rachel

Ross?

罗斯？

Ross

Huh?

嗯？

Rachel

You're pretty.

你真可爱。

Chandler

Whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna be starting a career from scratch. It's gonna be a while before I make a living at it. Maybe now is not the right time to be starting a family.

不管我做什么决定，都得从零开始打拼事业，要靠它赚钱养家还得一阵子。或许现在不是要孩子的好时机。

Ross

So you have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now?

所以你要跟莫妮卡说现在不想要孩子？

Chandler

Yeah.

对。

Ross

(Hugs Chandler) Good-bye.

（拥抱钱德勒）保重。

Monica

(Enters) Okay, it's baby time. Pants off Bing. (Sees Ross) Didn't see you there Geller.

（走进来）好了，造人时间到。脱裤子，宾。（看到罗斯）没看见你在这儿，盖勒。

Chandler

Yeah, Ross is here so...

罗斯在这儿，所以……

Ross

Yeah, and I was really hoping that I could hang out. What do you feel like doing?

是啊，我还想在这儿待会儿呢，你们想干嘛？

Monica

We're gonna have sex.

我们要造人。

Ross

I don't feel like having sex. Maybe we can watch a movie or something.

我不想看你们造人，要不看电影吧。

Monica

Let me put it this way. We're having sex whether you're here or not.

这么说吧，不管你在不在，我们都要造人。

Ross

Pants off Bing!

脱裤子，宾！

Rachel

Alright. Now that I'm back, why don't you just fill me in on what you've been up to?

好了，我回来了，跟我说说你这段时间都做了什么吧。

Gavin

Well, I've changed your screensaver from that picture of Nsync.

我把你的屏保换成别的了，之前是超级男孩的照片。

Rachel

Hey, they were popular when I left!

我休假的时候他们可火了！

Gavin

Also, I've just been working on this big presentation for tomorrow.

另外，我一直在准备明天的重要汇报。

Rachel

Well, I should be involved in that, so why don't you get me up to speed?

我也得参与，你跟我说说进展吧。

Gavin

That's gonna take weeks. Why don't just let me take care of the presentation?

要跟你说清楚得好几周，不如汇报交给我吧。

Rachel

Oh, no no no no. I see what you're doing here, alright, listen, this is my job buddy. Okay, I've had it for five years, and I know how it works, so why don't you just catch me up!

不行不行，我知道你想干嘛。听着，这是我的工作，我干了五年了，流程我都熟，赶紧跟我说重点！

Gavin

Fine.

行吧。

Rachel

(Sits down in her chair) Oh god. You've totally messed with the back support of my chair. How do you fix this?

（坐到自己椅子上）天啊，你把我椅子的靠背调得乱七八糟，怎么调回去？

Gavin

Hey, you've been here five years, you figure it out.

你都干了五年了，自己想办法。

Rachel

Fine, I will. (Pushes that button thing on the chair that makes it "collapse") Alright, fill me in!

好，我自己来。（按到椅子上的按钮，椅子直接塌了）好了，跟我说工作！

Ross

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

You have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine.

你有搭配这件衣服的蓝色领带吗？爱玛把我的吐脏了。

Chandler

Oh, yeah. But you have to give it back if I get a job. Of course, by that time in the future ties will be obsolete and we'll all be wearing silver jump suits.

有，但我找到工作你得还我。不过到时候领带估计都淘汰了，我们都穿银色连体服了。

Monica

(Enters from the bedroom) Hi, good morning lover. I gotta say after last night, I'm a little weak in the knees.

（从卧室出来）早安，亲爱的。说实话，昨晚过后，我腿都软了。

Ross

Here's an idea. You walk into a room...take a quick scan!

我有个建议，进房间先快速扫一眼！

Monica

(To Ross) Sorry. (To Chandler) But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night.

（对罗斯说）抱歉。（对钱德勒说）我感觉昨晚我们可能怀上了。

Chandler

Oh god, I have to tell you something. You're not pregnant.

天啊，我有事要跟你说，你没怀上。

Monica

What are you talking about?

你说什么呢？

Chandler

That thing that I have to do to make a baby. I faked it.

昨晚造人的时候，我是装的。

Monica

What!? You faked it?

什么？！你装的？

Ross

You know what? I don't need a tie. I mean, it's better, open collar. You know, it's more casual (He leaves.)

我突然不需要领带了，敞着领口更休闲。（离开）

Phoebe

Joey, listen. I can't do this, it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a cafe?

乔伊，我演不了，这不合理。昨天我还是护士，今天就变成咖啡馆服务员了？

Joey

Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay.

没事的，有时候同一个群演要演不同角色。

Phoebe

Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse. And now suddenly I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans.

不行，我演护士那么出色，突然变成服务员，我的粉丝会搞混的。

Joey

Maybe you are a nurse, but you moonlight as a waitress.

可以设定你是护士，兼职当服务员。

Phoebe

Uhuh. Because I'm a single mother, supporting my two children.

嗯，就说我是单亲妈妈，要养两个孩子。

Joey

Nice.

不错。

Phoebe

Wait a minute. Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come over to say hi to him?

等等，我和德雷克·拉莫雷医生在同一家医院工作，我不该跟他打招呼吗？

Joey

No, no. See, you and Drake are having a fight.

别，设定你和德雷克吵架了。

Phoebe

About what?

吵什么？

Joey

He slept with you and then never called you.

他跟你约会后就再也没联系你。

Phoebe

And I just wanted a new daddy for Davy and Becky.

我只是想给我的两个孩子找个新爸爸。

Director

Okay, okay, from the top. And...Action!

好了，从头来，开拍！

Man

So, I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me.

没想到你愿意跟我一起吃午饭。

Joey/Drake

I'm surprised to, but yet here I am.

乔伊/德雷克：我也没想到，但我还是来了。

(Phoebe walks by and slaps him.)

（菲比走过去扇了他一巴掌）

Director

Cut, cut! What are you doing!?

停！你干什么呢！

Phoebe

Yeah, well, I'm very angry at him, because he slept with me and never called me back.

我生他的气，他跟我约会后就再也没联系我。

Extra

Me too!

我也是！

Another extra

Me too!

我也是！

Joey

Oh, calm down! She means on the show! We need some new extras around here!

别激动！她说的是戏里的剧情！我们该换一批群演了！

Gavin

(Enters) Wow, you're here already.

（走进来）哇，你来得真早。

Rachel

Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation. I actually made a few changes, but I think I'm caught up on everything. So ask me anything!

是啊，我和爱玛早点来准备汇报资料，我还改了点内容，现在都跟上进度了，随便问！

Gavin

How do you fix the chair?

椅子怎么调？

Rachel

Except that! (Mr. Zelner enters) Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We're all ready for our presentation this afternoon.

除了这个！（泽尔纳先生走进来）泽尔纳先生好，我们下午的汇报都准备好了。

Mr. Zelner

Good, because it's in ten minutes.

很好，十分钟后就开始。

Rachel

What? I can't do that! I have the baby, and Ross is not gonna pick her up for another hour.

什么？不行，我带着孩子，罗斯还要一小时才来接她。

Mr. Zelner

Well, then Gavin can give the presentation, okay, we have to do it now. Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping.

那让加文汇报吧，必须现在开始。拉尔夫今天要早点走，去买直升机。

Rachel

Well, there you go. You win, you win. You get to do the presentation, you'll knock 'em dead, no one will ever remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter, and Super Gavin will just fly right along side of him!

行，你赢了。你去汇报，大放异彩，没人会记得我在这儿工作过。拉尔夫买了直升机，超级加文就跟着他一起飞吧！

Gavin

You can do the presentation.

你去汇报吧。

Rachel

No, I can't, I have a baby.

不行，我带着孩子。

Gavin

I'll watch her.

我帮你看着她。

Rachel

Why would you do that?

你为什么要帮我？

Gavin

Because you've worked really hard, and it's your job, and you're a little crazy.

你工作很努力，这本来就是你的工作，而且你有点疯疯癫癫的。

Rachel

That's really nice.

你人真好。

Gavin

I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable.

跟你说一声，女人哭我会很不自在。

Rachel

Then you're not gonna like what's coming. (Starts crying) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you, thank you.

那你要难受了。（开始哭）对不起对不起，谢谢你。

Gavin

I'm really fine, don't worry, I'm great with children. (To Emma) Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you.

我没事，别担心，我很会带孩子。（对爱玛说）我是加文·米切尔，很高兴认识你。

Joey

Please don't fire my friend. Just let me talk to her.

别开除我朋友，我跟她谈谈。

Director

Okay, okay. But this is her last chance.

行，但这是最后一次机会。

Joey

Thank you, thank you. How about I do something for you? Tomorrow, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald?

谢谢谢谢。我帮你个忙？明天给你带顶帽子遮秃头？

Joey

Hey, listen Pheebs. I was just talking to the director, and he was thinking, maybe this time you don't hit Drake, you just wait on the tables?

菲比，我跟导演聊了，他觉得这次你别扇德雷克，就端端盘子就行？

Phoebe

I can't do that. I'm an actor. I have a process.

不行，我是演员，我有自己的表演方式。

Joey

You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it.

你就是个按摩师，有张带洞的按摩床而已。

Phoebe

Wait a minute, I see what's happening here. You're threatened.

我明白了，你怕我抢你风头。

Joey

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Yeah, I'm so good in this scene that I'm stealing focus from you. Well, rise to the challenge Tribianni 'cause I just raised the bar. Come join me up here!

没错，我演得太好，抢了你的镜头。特里比安尼，接受挑战吧，我提高了表演标准，来跟上我的水平！

Joey

(To the director) Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security, she won't go easy.

（对导演说）开了她吧，不过得叫保安，她不会乖乖走的。

Monica

You faked it? You couldn't have faked it!

你装的？你不可能装的！

Chandler

Oh yes you can. You just make the faces and the noises.

当然可以，做做表情、发出声音就行。

Monica

Guys can fake it? Unbelievable. The one thing that's ours! Besides, why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby?

男人也能装？太离谱了，这可是女人的专属！而且我们要孩子，你为什么要装？

Chandler

That's actually why. Look, I'm starting a whole new career now, and I'm not saying that I don't want to have a baby, I'm just saying maybe we could wait a little while.

就是因为这个。我要重新打拼事业，不是不想要孩子，就是想推迟一阵子。

Monica

Like a month?

一个月？

Chandler

Or a year?

或者一年？

Monica

Really, you want to wait a year?

你真想等一年？

Chandler

It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff. "Pants. Like shorts, but longer." (Pause) It'll probably be more than a year.

比短裤长一点。”（停顿）估计得一年多。

Monica

I really wanna have a baby.

我真的很想要孩子。

Chandler

Yeah, me too. Look, I'll just get my old job back.

我也是，我回去做原来的工作吧。

Monica

No, I want you to have a job that you love. Not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.

别，我想你做自己喜欢的工作，而不是什么统计分析和数据重组。

Chandler

I quit and you learn what I do?

我辞职了你才知道我是干嘛的？

Monica

It's just, I think, there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby. I mean, now you're unemployed and in a little while you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy. There's always gonna be a reason not to do this, but I think once the baby comes, forget about all those reasons.

我觉得要孩子永远没有完美时机。你现在失业，以后找到新工作又会很忙，总有各种理由推迟。但孩子来了，这些理由就都不重要了。

Chandler

I guess. It's always gonna be scary when we have a baby.

也是，要孩子总会让人害怕。

Monica

It's gonna be really scary. I mean, god. When we have a baby, there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control. I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess, I won't have time to clean it. What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer? Messes up all the ribbons?! What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer, because the baby's stuff takes up all the space!? Where will all the ribbons go!?!

会特别害怕。天啊，有了孩子后，很多事都失控了。公寓会乱七八糟，我没时间打扫。万一孩子翻丝带抽屉，把丝带弄乱怎么办？万一孩子的东西占满地方，连丝带抽屉都放不下怎么办？我的丝带放哪儿啊！

Chandler

Should we go make a baby right now before you change your mind?

趁你没改变主意，现在造人吧？

Monica

Yes, please!

好，快点！

Chandler

Oh, and I promise, I will not fake it this time.

我保证，这次绝不装了。

Monica

I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up!

我可不敢保证，我现在还有点懵！

Joey/Drake

I know you botched that operation on purpose. I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder. I don't care if you are my brother.

乔伊/德雷克：我知道你故意搞砸了手术，我现在没证据，但我找到证据，你就会因谋杀罪坐牢，就算你是我弟弟也没用。

Man

I'm not your brother.

我不是你弟弟。

Phoebe/Waitress

What about my children Drake?! Huh!? (She starts running around on the set with a security guy chasing her) No! No! No! God!

菲比/服务员：那我的孩子怎么办，德雷克？！（在片场乱跑，保安在后面追）别追我！天啊！

END

剧终