The One With Christmas In Tulsa

Phoebe

...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;

……他跳上雪橇一声口哨；

and away they all flew like the down of a thistle;

队伍如离弦之箭窜跳；

but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

远远的听到他高叫；

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"

圣诞快乐!欢乐今宵!

Joey

(impressed) Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?

（印象深刻）哇，真棒！真是你写的？

Phoebe

(smiling) Uh-huh.

（微笑）嗯。

Chandler

(coming from the bedroom) Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.

（从卧室走出）道别吧小精灵们，我去图萨了。

Monica

I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.

难以置信，你圣诞节不在这里。

Ross

You're really not coming back?

你真的回不来吗？

Chandler

Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.

是的，所有的文案都要在年前归档。完不成会被炒鱿鱼的。

Monica

It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!

真不公平，你都不喜欢你的工作！

Chandler

So, who does?

谁喜欢自己的工作？

Phoebe

Oh, I like my job.

我喜欢我的工作。

Joey

I love my job.

我爱我的工作。

Rachel

Yeah, I can't wait to go back to work.

是啊，我迫不及待要去上班。

Ross

I can't get enough dinosaurs!

我对恐龙怎么也看不腻！

Chandler

I'm sorry, I won't be here.

抱歉我不能回来了。

Monica

It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.

周末见不到你就够痛苦的了，何况圣诞……做你该做的事情吧，我能理解。

Chandler

Thanks. (they kiss) I'll see you New Year's Day.

谢谢。（两人亲吻）新年见吧。

Monica

(shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve???

（震惊）大年夜你也不回来？？？

Chandler

Did I not mention that?

我没说过吗？

Monica

No!

没有！

Chandler

(thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)

（思考片刻，挥臂大喊）大伙儿，晚安！（跑出公寓）

Chandler

All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's no call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.

各位，今天是圣诞夜，我知道人人都想回家过节，可那也不能在我椅子后贴“你大爷的宾！”的纸条呀！（看了看纸条）——顺便说一句，以后叫我钱德勒就行了。

(Wendy enters the conference room, carrying a cardboard box.)

（雯蒂走进会议室，手里拿着一个纸箱）

Wendy

Hey!

嗨！

Others

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey. Where've you been?

嘿，你去哪儿了？

Wendy

I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)

我……我去瞅了眼三楼保险公司的圣诞晚会，哦，真是太漂亮了，高大的圣诞树装饰得五光十色，我只能告诉他们我们必须加班……所以我偷了那儿的火腿。（她把纸箱倒扣在会议桌上，一大块火腿掉了出来）

Chandler

(to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.

（对众人说）听见没有，虽然不能回家，但在这儿至少能闻到火腿香。

Claudia

My kid's in a play right now.

我的孩子现在正在演节目呢。

Chandler

Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.

我知道怎么给你们鼓劲儿了！（开始给众人分发信封）我给纽约的同事们打了电话，说了咱们的辛苦付出，还有相应的圣诞奖金呢。

Ken

(reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".

（读着卡片）“以您的名义捐献给纽约芭蕾舞团”。

Chandler

Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!

混蛋，真他妈混蛋！这工作真混蛋！

Wendy

Now it feels like Christmas.

哈！这回有点圣诞气氛了。

Chandler

I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.

抱歉，至少你们今晚还能回家与家人团聚，我只能在空荡荡的酒店独守空房孤枕难眠。而且，你们明天还会有个圣诞节早晨呢，对了，你们可都没请我去。

Ken

You can come to my house!

你可以去我家呀！

Chandler

Haha, no thanks!

哈哈，不，心领了！

Wendy

That was a nice pep-talk.

刚才说得不错。

Chandler

Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.

谢谢，你听出我话里的别有用心了吗？

Wendy

So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?

那么，要是你在家，现在会做什么？

Chandler

Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holidays are pretty traditional...

做圣诞节该干的事儿呗，我们过节很传统的……

Phoebe

So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)

这首特别的圣诞歌是写给我最重要的朋友们的。（唱）

"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.

那店铺你可去过，圣诞老人腿上坐；

Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap.

让他别忘给礼物，不管礼物有多破；

Said all you need is to write them a song.

说你要写一首歌，他们还未曾听过；

Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along.

不要独自唱这歌，不要独自唱这歌；

No, don't sing along.

不要独自唱这歌；

Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah.

莫尼卡莫尼卡，光明节你快乐；

Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.

圣诞老人那家伙，要对罗斯说快乐；

And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!

记得跟乔伊说，圣诞有雪飘落；

And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"

瑞秋和钱德勒，都有格兰得！！

Happy holidays, everybody!

节日快乐，大家伙！

Rachel

Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.

菲比你查厨房，我查壁厨。

Chandler

I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.

省点时间吧，女士们，我在这儿。

Phoebe

Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.

钱德勒，你干吗不去散步？这事儿跟你无关。

Rachel

We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.

我们在找莫尼卡给我们的圣诞礼物。

Chandler

What? That's terrible!

什么，太可怕了！

Phoebe

No-no, we do it every year!

才不是，我们每年都这么干！

Chandler

Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.

哦，那就还不算可怕。

Phoebe

No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.

可不是，我们从没找到过，她老是棋高一着儿，这个狡猾的女人！

Rachel

Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?

别担心，我们只找一小时，然后我们去乔伊那儿找，好吗？

Chandler

No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!

不行，你们不能找莫尼卡的礼物！

Phoebe

Oh no, we have to!

不，我们必须得找！

Chandler

No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.

不，不用也不能这么做，因为我也住在这儿。

Phoebe

Well then, you should look with us.

那……你跟我们一起找吧。

Chandler

Why?

为什么？

Rachel

Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?

钱德勒，你从不担心送莫尼卡什么圣诞礼物吗？

Chandler

No, I have a great idea for a present for her.

当然，我的礼物很棒。

Phoebe

Oh, that's it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea! Oh yeah.

噢，是吗？很棒？

Rachel

Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?

钱德勒，理由不充分。要是她给你一件大礼物、两件中礼物和一堆小礼物呢？你只给她准备了一样棒礼物，她还是会伤心的。你为什么要这么对待她，钱德勒？为什么？为什么？

Chandler

If I help, we can find 'em faster!

如果我帮忙，能快点儿找到吧？

Rachel

That's right!

对呀！

(Phoebe looks under the couch)

（菲比看向沙发底下）

Phoebe

Ooh ooh, we have a live one!

呜！呼！抓到个活的！

Rachel

Oh, it's a Macy's bag!

哦，梅西百货的袋子！

(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)

（菲比把袋子倒扣过来，一只鞋子掉了出来）

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Phoebe

Ooh, who's it for?

给谁的？

Rachel

(Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."

（读鞋子上的标签）“小笨蛋，你以为我会把礼物藏在沙发底下吗？另外，钱德勒，我知道你被她们收买了。”

Joey

Rach, these are for you.

瑞秋，这是给你的。

Rachel

Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.

雨刷，我连辆车都没有。

Joey

No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.

不，你闻这新车的味，你会觉得你有车呢。

Chandler

OK, Pheebs, your turn.

菲比，轮到你了。

Phoebe

Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?

噢，马桶垫儿，我去加油时买的吧？

Joey

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Phoebe

You guuuyys.

你们俩呀！

Joey

And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.

给罗斯的，甜食先生。

Ross

You got me a cola drink?

你们送我一罐可乐？

Chandler

And, a lemon lime.

还有一罐柠檬橙。

Ross

Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.

这礼物太重了吧，我应该再送你们件毛衣。

Chandler

And last but not least.

最后还有一个最棒的。

(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)

（钱德勒和乔伊递给莫妮卡一盒避孕套）

Joey

They're ribbed for your pleasure.

加纹让你更有快感~~~

Ross

Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?

哦，嘿本，想不想听节日犰狳给你讲光明节的故事？

Ben

Cool!

酷！

Ross

Yeah!

好！

Monica

Come on Ben.

坐过来，本。

(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)

（莫妮卡和本坐在沙发上）

Ross

Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...

在很久很久以前，有一家人叫做马卡比……

Chandler

(entering in a Santa costume) Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!

（穿着圣诞老人服装走进来）嚯！嚯！嚯！圣诞快乐！

Ben

Santa! (Runs to Chandler and hugs him)

圣诞老人！（跑向钱德勒并拥抱他）

Chandler

Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)

嗨！（被本用力撞得闷哼一声）

Ross

What are you doing here, Santa?

你来这儿干吗，圣诞老人？

Chandler

Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?

嗯，我来看我的老伙计本。你在这儿干什么，奇怪的……忍者龟？

Ross

I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?

我是节日犰狳，你的犹太朋友。你让我来给本送礼物的，记得吗？

Chandler

What?

什么？

Monica

Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.

本，为什么不去打开那些礼物呢？圣诞老人、犰狳，还有我去厨房聊聊，真没想到我会说这种话。

(They walk to the kitchen; everyone is lowering their voices)

（众人走向厨房，压低声音）

Ross

(to Chandler) What are you doing?

（对钱德勒说）你来干什么？

Chandler

You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!

你跟所有人抱怨找不到圣诞老人的服装，所以我就跟同事借了一套！

Ross

Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.

谢谢你，可你必须离开。

Chandler

Why?

为什么？

Ross

Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.

因为我好不容易才让他对光明节有兴趣，可你却跑来搅局。

Chandler

But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.

我还没来得及挺着个一坨果冻似的肚子晃呢。

Ross

I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.

抱歉钱德勒，可这对我太重要了。

Chandler

Fine, I'll give the suit back.

好吧，我还是把衣服还回去吧。

(Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.)

（罗斯转身走回本身边）

Monica

(to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)

（对钱德勒说）嗨，你能把它再留一夜吗？（脸上带着戏谑的表情，捻着钱德勒的胡子）

Chandler

Santa? Really?

圣诞老人？真的？

Monica

Yeah, is that okay?

行吗？

Chandler

Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?

你爸爸曾经打扮成圣诞老人吗？

Monica

No.

没有。

Chandler

Then it's okaaay! (They kiss.)

那就能留！（两人亲吻）

Chandler

You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.

这样吧，各位，回家吧，你们该去陪家人的。新年前夜加班就够糟的了。

(All others are looking up, surprised)

（众人惊讶地抬起头）

Chandler

Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.

我没说过新年前夜的事儿吗？——好吧，走吧，回家去，圣诞快乐！走吧。

(All are leaving, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, peace on earth, etc. Only Wendy stays.)

（众人离开，互道圣诞快乐、世界和平等，只剩雯蒂留下）

Chandler

Good, God's speed, good people! (he starts to close the door, turns around and sees Wendy) You're not gonna go?

上帝保佑好人！（准备关门，转身看到雯蒂）你不走吗？

Wendy

Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.

不，我不能撇下你一个人。

Chandler

Ah. Thanks.

噢，谢谢。

Wendy

Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some pissed off insurance people looking for that ham.

另外，楼下晚会结束前我不会走的，那些卖保险的一定为丢火腿的事儿发狂呢。

Chandler

Ah. (The phone rings; he answers it) Chandler Bing.

嗯。（电话响起，接起）钱德勒·宾。

(Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.)

莫妮卡和钱德勒的公寓，莫妮卡在电话另一端。电话开着免提，围坐在电话旁的朋友们都能听到钱德勒的声音）

Monica

Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.

亲爱的，我们都在这儿，祝你圣诞快乐。

Others

(simultaneously) Merry Christmas! (except for Phoebe...)

（齐声）圣诞快乐！（菲比除外……）

Phoebe

(simultaneous to the others) Ble-blah-blar Blargh!

（跟着众人）啵啦吧啦啵！

(All the others look at her, stunned/incredulous)

（众人震惊又疑惑地看向她）

Chandler

Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!

圣诞快乐，我想你们！

Monica

So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?

难熬吧？大家都努力工作呢？

Chandler

Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.

哦不，就剩我跟雯蒂了。

Monica

Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.

雯蒂？象女孩子的名字呀。

Chandler

It is. Did I... not tell you about her?

是呀，我没跟你提过她吗？

Monica

Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?

嗯，大概是说新年前夜加班的时候提到的吧？其他人呢？

Chandler

I sent them home.

我让他们回家了。

Monica

Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?

你真是个好领导！她漂亮吗？

Chandler

Uhh, uh...

嗯，呃……

Ross

(in a low voice) Answer faster, answer faster!

（低声）快回答，快回答！

Chandler

I don't know!

我不知道！

Ross

(in the same low voice) Answer better, answer better!

（低声）别说错，别说错！

Chandler

I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.

我不会往那方面想的，她只是个同事。

Monica

What does she do there?

她是干什么的？

Chandler

Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.

她是地区副经理，职位只比我低一级。

Monica

She did WHAT?

她干什么？！

Chandler

BE-LOW me!

职位比我低！

Joey

Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?

哦，等等，雯蒂是俄州小姐选美的亚军吧？

Monica

What???

什么？？？

Chandler

Well, she... she didn't win...

她，她没能赢……

Monica

Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.

好吧，我该让你和俄州第二美女好好干活了。

Chandler

Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...

哦，那年的第二，俄州那么多女孩子，她也许……

Rachel

(interrupting him) Oh Chandler, stop talking!

（打断他）钱德勒，住口！

Chandler

Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.

亲爱的，没什么可担心的。

Monica

Okay.

好吧。

Chandler

I'm serious!

我很认真的！

Monica

Okay!

好吧！

Chandler

Merry Christmas.

圣诞快乐。

Monica

Merry Christmas.

圣诞快乐。

Chandler

Merry Christmas, you guys!

圣诞快乐，各位！

Others

(simultaneously) Yeah, Merry... Christmas. (again, Phoebe...)

（齐声）圣诞快乐。（菲比又……）

Phoebe

(simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.

（跟着众人）啵啦吧啦啵。

(Again the others just look at her, silent, puzzled.)

（众人再次疑惑地沉默看向她）

Chandler

(hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!".

（挂掉电话）老婆问好。

Wendy

Ah. Fun conversation?

谈的不错吧？

Chandler

Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.

她老胡思乱想，你看，就咱俩在，她以为会出事儿。

Wendy

Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)

哦，真的？要是……真那么糟吗？（抓住钱德勒的领带，手慢慢向上移动，逐渐靠近他，姿态暧昧）

Chandler

This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about, but... you're getting ham on my only tie.

根本不用担心这种事儿，可是，你快把火腿蹭到我唯一的领带上了。

(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)

（她继续靠近，画面渐黑）

Chandler

Whoa-ho, back off, Missy! (He takes a step back, but she still keeps her grip on his tie.)

哦哇，停下，小姐！（后退一步，雯蒂仍抓着他的领带）

Wendy

(laughs) ...Missy?

（笑）……小姐？

Chandler

I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?

我不知道！我不习惯让女人主动接近我！……（雯蒂松开领带）等等，我在俄州变性感了？

Wendy

You are to me... (She gets closer again, putting her arms around his torso.)

我觉得是……（再次靠近，搂住他的腰）

Chandler

(flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married!

（得意）不……不……（反应过来）不！（快速后退几步）我已经结婚了！

Wendy

So? I'm married. (Showing him the ring on her finger.)

怎么，我也结婚了。（展示手上的戒指）

Chandler

I'm happily married.

我婚姻幸福。

Wendy

Oh. - What's that like?

哦，怎么幸福法？

Chandler

Right. So, I'm sorry...

所以，抱歉……

Wendy

Seriously? Happily married. So that phone call before, that was ... happy?

真是幸福婚姻？刚才那通电话就算幸福？

Chandler

Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.

刚才那电话不能代表什么，你知道，分开这么久不容易，她有资格有点小多疑，而且这次她完全没错。她很好、漂亮又聪明，要是她现在在这儿，一定会收拾你。你人很好，除了偷火腿和想出轨之外。但我和我妻子感情很好，我们之间不会发生任何事。

Wendy

Okay, let me ask you something: if what you and your wife have is so great, then why are you spending Christmas with me?

既然你和你妻子感情这么好，为什么圣诞节要陪我？

(Chandler starts to think about it...)

（钱德勒陷入沉思……）

Chandler

I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!

你是今晚全场最美的女人！

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.)(Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?

开玩笑？你在哪间屋子都是最美的……（莫妮卡跳起来亲吻他）（分开）哦！哦！怎么回事？我们刚接吻了？我们在接吻？

Monica

Well, not anymore.

现在没有了。

Chandler

But we don't do that.

但我们从不这样。

Monica

I know, I just thought it would be fun.

我知道，就是觉得好玩。

Chandler

How drunk are you?

你喝多了？

Monica

Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.

喝得刚好，足够让我想这么做，又没醉到让你觉得占我便宜而愧疚。

Chandler

(thinks) That's the perfect amount!

（思考）喝得恰到好处！

Monica

Okay!

好！

(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)

（两人跑到床边坐下，再次接吻）

Monica

(breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?

（分开）你知道最奇怪的是什么吗？

Chandler

What?

什么？

Monica

This doesn't feel weird!

这感觉一点都不奇怪！

Chandler

I know.

我也这么觉得。

Monica

You're a really good kisser.

你接吻很棒。

Chandler

Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?

我吻过四个以上的女人。（再次接吻）要不要钻到被子里？

Monica

Hm-hmm!

嗯！

Chandler

Okay!

好！

(They do so and they take off their clothes.)

（两人钻进被子，脱掉衣服）

Monica

Wow! You are really fast!

哇，你动作真快！

Chandler

It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.

看来你喜欢快节奏，这对我是好事。

Monica

We're gonna see each other naked.

我们要看到彼此的身体了。

Chandler

Yep!

对！

Monica

Do you wanna do it at the same time?

要不要一起脱？

Chandler

Count of three?

数到三？

Monica

One!

一！

Chandler

Two!

二！

Monica

Two!

二！

Both

Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)

三！（掀开被子看了看对方，然后笑着钻回被子）

Chandler

Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.

我敢说，我们的友谊彻底完了。

Monica

Eh, we weren't that close anyway!

反正我们也没那么要好！

Chandler

Eh! (They start making out again)

可不是嘛！（再次接吻）

Chandler

So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?

你真要跟那个男护士约会？

Monica

Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.

我和你只是玩玩而已，我想，跟他玩玩也没什么。

Chandler

Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.

两个互相关心的朋友，有着美妙的亲密关系，只想更多地待在一起。但要是你的新字典让你生我的气，那我给你看我的原版字典。我真不擅长说这些。

Monica

I think you're better than you think you are.

我觉得你比自己想的要好。

Chandler

Really? Okay, so...

真的？那……

Monica

(interrupting) Know when to stop.

（打断）适可而止吧。

Chandler

Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?

我也觉得该停了。我们没事了？

Monica

Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance.

嗯。（两人亲吻，莫妮卡准备离开，钱德勒开始跳舞，莫妮卡没回头）别跳那个舞。

Chandler

Right!

好！

Monica

I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

我结婚必须要有旧的、新的、借来的、蓝色的四样东西。

Chandler

Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.

好，好，好！（拿起一件蓝色毛衣）这个，蓝色的，也是新的。

Monica

You're so efficient. I love you!

你真能干，我爱你！

Chandler

Let's go! (Starts to leave.)

走吧！（准备离开）

Monica

No-no-no, wait! We need something old!

等等，我们还需要旧的东西！

Chandler

Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.

我钱包里有个避孕套，从我十二岁就有了。

Monica

That'll work!

这个可以！

Chandler

I don't think so.

我觉得不行。

Monica

Okay, now we just need something borrowed!

好了，现在就差借来的东西了！

Chandler

(looks around) Here just...take this. (Hands her the sweater.)

（环顾四周）拿着这个。（把毛衣递给她）

Monica

That's stealing!

这是偷！

Chandler

No, we'll-we'll bring it back! Just put it under your dress.

我们会还的！塞到裙子下面就行。

(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)

（莫妮卡照做，看起来像怀孕了）

Monica

Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)

哦。（摸了摸假肚子）

Chandler

Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)

慢慢来。（两人跑出去结婚）

Monica

Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.

我一直在想，让你把所有的钱都花在婚礼上不公平，你赚钱很辛苦。

Chandler

Ehh.

嗯。

Monica

Eh, you work for that.

你辛苦赚来的。

Chandler

Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.

我也想过了，抱歉，我觉得钱都该花在婚礼上。

Monica

You do?!

真的？！

Chandler

Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.

我决定了。我求婚时说过，我会做任何事让你开心，一场完美的婚礼能让你开心，那就这么办。

Monica

Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?

你真好。（拥抱亲吻）等等，那我们的未来怎么办？

Chandler

Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.

别想未来了！我们只要两个孩子，挑喜欢的那个供上大学。

Monica

You thought about that?

你连这个都想过？

Chandler

Yeah.

嗯。

Monica

How many kids were we gonna have?

我们打算要几个孩子？

Chandler

Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.

四个，一个男孩，一对双胞胎女孩，再一个男孩。

Monica

What else did you think about?

还想了什么？

Chandler

Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.

住哪儿之类的，比如郊外的小房子，孩子们可以学骑车。养只脖子挂铃铛的猫，每次从猫门跑过我们都能听到。车库上方留个房间，让乔伊养老。

Monica

(laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.

（笑）我不想要盛大华丽的婚礼了。

Chandler

Sure you do.

你想要的。

Monica

No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.

我想要你说的那些，我想要婚姻本身。

Chandler

You sure?

真的？

Monica

Uh-hmm.

嗯。

Chandler

I love you so much.

我好爱你。

Monica

I love you. (They kiss.)

我爱你。（亲吻）

Rachel

(opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!

（拆开罗斯送的深红色围巾）哦，我喜欢！

Ross

Really? You're not gonna return it?

真的？你不会退掉吧？

Rachel

Well, not this second!

暂时不会！

Phoebe

(at the window) Hey look, you guys, it's snowing!

（在窗边）快看，下雪了！

(The others all get up and go to the window.)

（众人起身走到窗边）

Rachel

Oh wow, it's so beautiful...

哇，好美……

Ross

Wow, it really is!

是啊，真的很美！

(They all stand a moment in silence, staring out of the window.)

（众人静静望向窗外）

Monica

"Wendy" is a fat girl name.

雯蒂听着就像胖女人的名字。

Phoebe

Aren't we done with that?

还没完没了的？

Monica

Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?

好吧，说雪吧。我老公在图萨的复印机上鬼混，那儿也下雪吗？

(Shortly after that, Chandler enters.)

（片刻后，钱德勒走进来）

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)

（众人惊讶地围过来）

Ross

Oh my god...

天啊……

Joey

Hey-heeyyy - Look at that, it's a Christmas miracle!

哇，圣诞奇迹！

Monica

What are you doing here?

你怎么回来了？

Chandler

I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.

我想和你们在一起，我太想你们了。

Joey

Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?

嘿，你最想谁？

Chandler

Monica.

莫妮卡。

Joey

Got ya. (blinks an eye)

懂了。（眨眼）

Chandler

I never want to leave you again!

我再也不想离开你了！

Monica

But I thought if you left, you get fired.

我以为你离开会被解雇。

Chandler

Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.

他们不能解雇我，因为我辞职了。

Monica

What?

什么？

Ross

What, you, you really quit your job?

你真辞职了？

Chandler

Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?

嗯！这份破工作，我受不了离开你。为什么我不能做自己真正想做的事？

Rachel

What do you really want to do?

你真正想做什么？

Chandler

(realizing) I have not thought this through!

（反应过来）我还没想好！

Monica

Oh my god!

天啊！

Chandler

I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.

我知道，我该先和你商量的。

Monica

No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!

不，我觉得这是你想做的事，很好！

Chandler

Thanks!

谢谢！

Phoebe

Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.

钱德勒，你回来就是我收到最好的圣诞礼物。

Chandler

(flattered) Ahh...

（得意）啊……

Phoebe

Now give me my real gift.

现在把真礼物给我。

(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)

（钱德勒递给菲比一个信封，又给莫妮卡几个）

Phoebe

(to Chandler) Thank you.

谢谢。

Chandler

(to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)

帮我分给大家。（指向其他人）

(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)

（莫妮卡把信封分给罗斯、乔伊和瑞秋）

Ross

Oh, hey...

哦……

(They all open their envelopes.)

（众人打开信封）

Ross

(reading off his card) "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet." -- How did you know?

（读卡片）“以你的名义向纽约芭蕾舞团捐赠”——你怎么知道我喜欢这个？

Rachel

Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.

不是吧，这个退不了了。

Chandler

I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.

我觉得圣诞节该多为别人着想，而且这份礼物也代表我爱你们。

Joey

Mine's is to Lilian Myers.

我的是捐给莉莲·迈尔斯。

Chandler

I don't have a job!

我已经失业了！

Chandler

Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen)(to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. You are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!

精算师……不行。会计……不行。脱衣舞男……（低头看了看自己，满意点头并标注）你知道我刚发现什么吗？你现在是唯一赚钱的人，一家之主。我什么都不做，成了吃软饭的！

Monica

You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?

没错！（拿起桌上的20美元递给钱德勒）给你20块，明天我上班时，你去给自己买件好看的东西吧。

(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)

（钱德勒看着钱思考，又看向报纸上的招聘信息，跳了几下试试自己能不能胜任这份工作……）

END

结束