The One With Rachel's Phone Number

Jo Lynn

This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.

这只猫猫叫手套，这只叫贴心，猫笼里的小家伙叫金吉丝。

Chandler

Yep. That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn. Single are ya?

是啊。乔·林恩，你养了好多猫。你是单身吗？

(Phone rings. Chandler answers using the speaker phone.)

（电话响了。钱德开免提接了电话。）

Chandler

Chandler Bing.

钱德·宾。

Joey

Hey. How come you're answering your own phone? Where's your crazy assistant?

嘿。你怎么亲自接电话？你那个疯疯癫癫的助理跑哪儿去了？

(She frowns. Chandler picks up the hand set.)

（她皱起眉头。钱德拿起了听筒。）

Chandler

What's up Joe?

有何贵干，乔？

Joey

Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?

说吧，我们一直想一起做的事是什么？

Chandler

Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?

互相编辫子，在海滩上骑马？

Joey

No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game.. . courtside!

不对，不对。你明晚回家后，我和你一起去看魔术师队和尼克斯队的球赛……还是场边前排座位！

Chandler

Courtside? Oh my God.

场边前排？我的天呐。

Joey

Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.

对啊。说不定迈克尔·乔丹飞身救球时，膝盖会撞断我的下巴。

Chandler

That's so cool. I'll let Monica know.

太酷了。我跟莫妮卡说一声。

(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)

（钱德挂了电话，打给莫妮卡。莫妮卡正坐在沙发上看书，电话响了。）

Monica

Hello?

喂？

Chandler

Joey just called. He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.

乔伊刚打电话来。他弄到了明晚尼克斯队球赛的场边前排票，我和他一起去。

Monica

Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.

真的？但明晚是我这周唯一不用去餐厅上班的晚上。你要是去看球，我们又要一周没法一起过夜了。

Chandler

But hey, it's courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr.. . (Pause) That's not the way to convince you.

但你想啊，是场边前排！啦啦队就在眼……（停顿）用这个理由肯定说服不了你。

Monica

Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me." So, if you could just realize it on your own.. .

钱德，我不想变成那种说“不准去看球，必须陪我”的妻子。所以，你要是能自己想明白就好了……

Chandler

I know. You're right. I want to see you too. I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know? He's really looking forward to this.

我知道，你说得对。我也想陪你。就是不知道怎么跟乔伊说，你懂吧？他特别期待这场球。

Monica

Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time. Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have is precious.

就跟他说你好久没见老婆了，异地恋太难了，我们在一起的时间特别宝贵。

Chandler

Yeah, ah, ah.. . I'll think of something.

好，嗯……我会想办法的。

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Ross

Wow! (pause) Wow, you look.. . uh.. . It's just, ah.. . That dress.. . uh.. .

哇！（停顿）哇，你穿得……嗯……就是，嗯……这条裙子……嗯……

Rachel

Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.

希望你后半句是好话。

Ross

Well, well, they're good. It's been a while since I've seen you like this. You, you clean up good.

当然是好话。好久没见你打扮得这么漂亮了。你收拾一下真好看。

Rachel

Oh well, well thank you. (She laughs. He stares for a moment.) Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened. (points to Emma.)

哈哈，谢谢。（她笑了笑，罗斯盯着她看了一会儿。）好了，别这样看着我。上次你这么看我，（指着罗斯）就有了这个。（指着艾玛。）

Ross

Oh right, right. (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.) So, are you.. . ah.. . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?

哦对，对。（两人停顿对视一眼，随后罗斯移开目光。）所以，你……嗯……第一次晚上离开艾玛出去玩，开心吗？

Rachel

Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun. And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.

开心，开心。我和菲比肯定能玩得很尽兴。顺便谢谢你帮我照看孩子。

Ross

Oh, it's fine. Actually, I, I invited Mike over.

没事。对了，我邀请迈克过来了。

Rachel

Phoebe's Mike?

菲比的那个迈克？

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

I didn't know you guys hung out.

我都不知道你们俩有来往。

Ross

We don't. But I thought it would be nice to get to know him. You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.

平时没有。但我觉得认识一下他挺好的，一起吃个饭、喝杯酒、聊聊天。

Rachel

Oh that's so cute: Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?

好可爱啊，罗斯和迈克的第一次约会。会不会很尴尬啊？你们俩能聊什么？

Ross

I don't know. But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.

不知道。但我们有很多共同点啊。他弹钢琴，我大学时弹过键盘；他离过婚，我在这方面也挺有经验的。

(Rachel nods. There is a knock on the door.)

（瑞秋点点头，有人敲门。）

Rachel

Yeah.

请进。

(Phoebe and Mike enter.)

（菲比和迈克走进来。）

Phoebe

Hi

嗨。

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

(spotting Rachel's dress) Oooh. Girl's night out indeed.

（看到瑞秋的裙子）哇哦，闺蜜之夜果然不一样。

Rachel

(to Ross) Ok. So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross.. .

（对罗斯说）好了，艾玛应该一整晚都不会醒了，你要是有什么需要……

Ross

Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right? You go have fun.

瑞秋，放心，我们没问题，去玩你的吧。

Rachel

Okay. You too. And I hope you score. (to Mike) Bye.

好，你们也玩得开心。希望你们聊得愉快。（对迈克说）再见。

Mike

Bye.

再见。

Ross

So.. . Welcome.

欢迎你。

Mike

(Holds up a six pack of Foster's Lager) I got beer.

（举起六罐装的福斯特啤酒）我带了啤酒。

Ross

I got bottled breast milk.

我有瓶装母乳。

Mike

Eh, why don't we start with the beer?

呃，要不我们先喝啤酒？

Ross

Okay. (They sit.) So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.

好。（两人坐下。）菲比跟我说你弹钢琴。

Mike

Yeah.

对。

Ross

You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.

我大学时也弹过键盘。

Mike

Ah? (pause) Do you have one here?

是吗？（停顿）你家里有吗？

Ross

No.

没有。

Mike

Okay. (pause)

好吧。（停顿）

(They clink beer bottles, and drink. Then, they stare uncomfortably at their bottles.)

（两人碰了碰啤酒瓶，喝了一口，随后尴尬地盯着自己的瓶子。）

Ross

Um.. . ah.. . you know, I'm divorced. Um, Phoebe, ah.. . Phoebe said you.. . You've been divorced?

嗯……我离过婚。菲比跟我说，你也离过婚？

Mike

Yeah. (pause) Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't.. . I don't really like to talk about it.

对。（停顿）嗯，抱歉，我不太喜欢聊这个。

Ross

(pause) That's okay. We'll talk about (pause) something else. (They pause. They drink.)

（停顿）没事，我们聊点别的。（两人又停顿了一下，喝了口酒。）

Mike

So, you're a paleontologist, right?

你是古生物学家，对吧？

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Mike

My cousin's a paleontologist.

我表亲也是古生物学家。

Ross

Ah? (Mike nods. Another pause.) Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.

是吗？（迈克点点头，又是一阵停顿。）那他和我应该有很多共同话题。

Monica

Hi.

嗨。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Welcome home.

欢迎回家。

Chandler

(Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.) Oh well, look at you.

（把外套搭在行李箱上，锁上门，转身看向莫妮卡。）哇，你今天真漂亮。

Monica

Yeah. What do you think?

是吗？好看吗？

Chandler

Well, it looks great. It's just that.. . well, I'm wearing the same thing underneath. So.. .

特别好看。就是……我里面也穿了类似的，所以……

Monica

Oh.

哦。

Chandler

See what I mean.. . (They kiss.)

懂我意思吧……（两人亲吻。）

(There is a loud thud at the door.)

（门外传来重重的敲门声。）

Joey

Hey! How come the door's locked?

嘿！门怎么锁了？

Monica

Just a second.

等一下。

Chandler

(hushed) No, no, no, no, no. Joey can't know that I'm here.

（小声说）别开门，千万别开。不能让乔伊知道我回来了。

Monica

Why not?

为什么？

Chandler

Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game. So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.

我不好意思跟他说我不去看尼克斯队的球赛了，就骗他说我得留在塔尔萨加班。

Monica

So, you lied to him?

你骗他了？

Chandler

Achhh. It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion. (pause) Except with you.

唉，比起费劲解释，撒谎简单多了。（停顿）对你除外。

Joey

Hey! Open the door. What's going on? (He knocks.)

嘿！开门啊，里面干嘛呢？（继续敲门。）

(Monica goes to the door. Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)

（莫妮卡走到门边，微微打开门，钱德躲到了门后。）

Joey

What are you.. . (He sees her in her negligee.) Why are you dressed like that?

你怎么穿成这样？

Monica

Oh, because, um.. . well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days. So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.

钱德过几天就回来了，我就想练练怎么勾引他。

Joey

Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice before.

我刚才好像听到男人的声音了。

Monica

Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation. You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?" (As Chandler) "Really sexy. Could I BE any more turned on?"

我在模仿钱德说话呢。比如我说“嗨，我好看吗？”，再模仿他说“太性感了，我简直欲火焚身”。

Joey

Okay. (pause. He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.) Whoa, whoa. Why are there two glasses of wine out?

好吧。（停顿，越过莫妮卡肩膀看到桌上的两杯红酒。）等等，怎么摆了两杯红酒？

Monica

Because.. . one of them is for you.

一杯是给你准备的。

(Monica turns to get the wine. Chandler peeps through the peephole. Joey, seeing something, peeps back. Chandler ducks. Monica returns with two glasses of wine. She gives one to Joey.)

（莫妮卡转身去拿酒杯，钱德从猫眼往外看，乔伊察觉到也凑过来看，钱德赶紧躲开。莫妮卡端着两杯红酒回来，递给乔伊一杯。）

Monica

Cheers. (She clinks his glass and pulls back.) Okay, buh-bye. (She closes the door.)

干杯。（和乔伊碰了下杯，然后赶他走。）好了，拜拜。（关上了门。）

Chandler

You know, it's funny. I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself. (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.) Hi ya.

有意思，我也一直在练勾引你呢。（双手举在身前，撅着屁股扭了扭。）嗨。

Monica

You might want to keep practicing.

你还是接着练吧。

Chandler

Yah.

好吧。

(Chandler's cell phone rings. He looks at it.)

（钱德的手机响了，他看了一眼。）

Chandler

It's Joey. (He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too.) Hey Joe.

是乔伊。（接起电话，把手机举到莫妮卡耳边。）嘿，乔。

Joey

Dude, come home!

兄弟，赶紧回家！

Chandler

What? Why?

啊？怎么了？

Joey

COME.. . HOME.

回……家。

Chandler

Look I, I can't. What's going on?

我回不去啊，到底怎么了？

Joey

I don't know how to tell you this but, uh.. . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya. I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.

我不知道该怎么说，我觉得莫妮卡给你戴绿帽子了。早就跟你说过，别娶比你好看那么多的女人。

(Chandler and Monica look at each other. Chandler nods.)

（钱德和莫妮卡对视一眼，钱德点了点头。）

Joey

All right look. (He walks to the hallway.) If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.

你要是不回来处理这事，我就替你处理了。

Chandler

NO!

别！

Joey

(outside the apartment door) I just heard him!

（在公寓门外）我听到他的声音了！

Chandler

(softly) Can you.. . hear him.. . now?

（小声问）现在……还能听到他吗？

Joey

(listens at the door.) No. (pause) All right, I'm going in.

（贴着门听了听）听不到了。（停顿）好了，我要进去了。

Chandler

No! Wait!

别！等等！

Joey

I heard him again!

我又听到他的声音了！

Chandler

(writhes as if in agony) All right, look. Just stay there. I'm coming home.

（难受地扭了扭身子）好吧，你待在原地别动，我马上回来。

Joey

Okay. Great. I'll see you when you get here. I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.

好，太好了。我在走廊等着，那男的一出来我就抓住他。

Chandler

Is that really necessary?

有必要吗？

Joey

Absolutely. You'd do it for me. Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.

当然有。换了是我，你也会这么做。不过你没机会帮我，我总能让我的女人心满意足。

Ross

Shouldn't the pizza be here by now? I mean, they said thirty minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?

披萨怎么还没到？店家说最多半小时。我们等多久了？

Mike

(looking at his watch) Eleven minutes. (long pause) And now twelve. So, do you like the beer?

（看了看手表）11分钟了。（长时间停顿）现在12分钟了。啤酒好喝吗？

Ross

I do. I do. Although, it's actually a lager.

好喝，好喝。不过这其实是窖藏啤酒。

Mike

huh. (pause) What's the difference between beer and lager?

哦。（停顿）啤酒和窖藏啤酒有什么区别？

Ross

I don't know. We could look it up.

不知道，我们可以查一下。

Mike

(nods) Things are about to get wild.

（点点头）这下要热闹起来了。

Phoebe

Oh God. Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?

天呐，还记得以前我们闺蜜之夜，总围着聊你和罗斯的事吗？

Rachel

Oh God. It seems like forever ago.

是啊，好像是好久以前的事了。

Phoebe

I know. (sighs) So, what's going on with you and Ross?

可不是嘛。（叹气）你和罗斯现在怎么样了？

Rachel

Well, um.. . I don't know. I mean, for a long time nothing. But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a.. . ah.. . little thing.

我也说不清。好久都没什么动静，但你来接我之前，我和罗斯……有点小暧昧。

Phoebe

Oh my God! I love things. What happened?

天呐！我最爱听这种事了，怎么了？

Rachel

Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked. And, ah, then we had a little.. . um.. . eye-contact.

他先夸我好看，然后我们……对视了一会儿。

Phoebe

Eye-contact?

对视？

Rachel

Mm-hmm.

嗯。

Phoebe

I hope you were using protection.

希望你做好防护措施了。

Waiter

(with tray and two drinks) Excuse me. Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.

（端着两杯酒）打扰一下，吧台那头两位先生送你们的酒。

Rachel

Oh. (to Phoebe) Should we send them something back?

哦。（对菲比说）我们要不要回敬他们点什么？

Phoebe

Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes.

好啊，送他们土豆泥。

Rachel

No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here.

别！不行！那样他们会觉得可以过来搭讪的。

Phoebe

So? What if they do?

搭讪就搭讪呗，怕什么？

Rachel

Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b.. . baby and a Ross.

我们不是来钓男人的。你有男朋友，我有孩子……还有罗斯。

Phoebe

Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."

我们又不用真发生什么，就是玩玩而已嘛。又不是什么事都得发展到对视那一步。

Monica

Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.

钱德，你必须跟乔伊说实话，你没在塔尔萨。

Chandler

Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?") I heard it.

让他觉得你出轨，不比让他觉得我骗他好吗？（莫妮卡歪了歪头，像是在说“你自己听听你说的话”。）我知道我说了啥。

Monica

I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.

我不想让他觉得我有外遇。

Chandler

All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape.

好吧，我有办法。我从消防梯下去。

Monica

Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."

是啊，好计划的开头都是“我从消防梯下去”。

Chandler

Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.

听我说完嘛。我从消防梯下去，等一会儿再从楼梯上来，假装刚从塔尔萨回来，然后和乔伊一起进来，证明家里没别的男人。

Monica

Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? (pause) I heard it.

你就不怕乔伊识破吗？（停顿）我知道你又要说傻话了。

(Chandler runs to the window, opens it, starts out, but returns, casually walking back to his chair.)

（钱德跑到窗边，打开窗户准备出去，又退了回来，慢悠悠走回椅子边。）

Chandler

I'm just going to wait for a little while.

我再等一会儿。

Monica

Scary pigeon's back?

可怕的鸽子又回来了？

Chandler

It's huge.

好大一只。

Rachel

Oh my God. I can't believe you live in that building. My grandmother lives in that building. Ida Green? No sense of personal space? Kind of smells like chicken? Looks like a potato.

天呐，你们居然住那栋楼！我奶奶也住那儿！艾达·格林？没什么私人空间，身上总一股鸡肉味，长得像个土豆。

Bill

"Spuds" is your grandmother?

“土豆”是你奶奶？

Rachel

That's my bubby!

是我亲爱的奶奶！

Kevin

So, we're on our way to a couple of parties. Um.. . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun.

我们正要去参加几个派对，能不能留个电话？要是有好玩的，我们叫上你们。

Phoebe

Yeah.. . I'm sorry. We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys. I, I have a boyfriend.

抱歉，我们没想和你们发展什么。我有男朋友了。

Kevin

All right. It's no big deal.

没事，没关系。

Bill

So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation?

她有男朋友，你呢？

Rachel

Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend. But um.. .

我的情况比较复杂，我没男朋友，但……

Bill

Then, can I have your number?

那能留个电话吗？

Rachel

(pause) I'm sorry, no.

（停顿）抱歉，不行。

Bill

Okay. (They start to walk away.)

好吧。（两人准备离开。）

Rachel

Oh sure. (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.)

等等，给你。（从包里掏出一张名片，在上面写了号码。）

Phoebe

(Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number.

（看着名片）天呐，你写的是真号码。

Bill

Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight.

谢谢，今晚晚点给你打电话。

Rachel

Great.

好啊。

Bill

Bye

再见。

Phoebe

Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?

再见。（两人离开。）哇，真好啊。你、比尔、罗斯、艾玛，一家人要幸福地生活在一起了。你怎么想的？

Rachel

I don't know. He was cute, and he liked me. It was an impulse.

我也不知道，他长得帅，还喜欢我，一时冲动就给了。

Phoebe

What about Ross? What about your moment? Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?

那罗斯呢？你们刚才的小暧昧不算了？你不想跟罗斯说说吗？

Rachel

No. No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go. "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."

不想。我太清楚会聊成什么样了。“嘿罗斯，我觉得我们刚才有点暧昧。”

Rachel

(lowers voice to imitate Ross) "Yeah." (Clears throat.) "Me too."

（压低声音模仿罗斯）“是啊。”（清嗓子）“我也是。”

Rachel

(as herself) "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."

（变回自己）“但我不确定要不要进一步发展。”

Rachel

(as Ross) "Yeah." (Clears throat twice.) "Me neither." (Clears throat again.)

（模仿罗斯）“是啊。”（清两下嗓子）“我也不确定。”（又清嗓子。）

Rachel

(as herself) "Well, should we just continue to live together and not really tell each other how we're really feeling?"

（变回自己）“那我们就继续住在一起，不告诉对方自己的真实想法吗？”

Rachel

(as Ross) "Yeah. That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)

（模仿罗斯）“嗯，这样挺好。”（又清两下嗓子。）

Phoebe

Yeah, I see what you mean. By the way, nice Ross imitation.

懂了。对了，你模仿罗斯还真像。

Rachel

Oh, thanks.

谢谢。

Phoebe

But, your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.

但你模仿的瑞秋，抱怨的语气还不够到位。

Rachel

(whining) Wha.. . hey!

（抱怨着）什……什么！

Phoebe

(pointing) Better!

（指着她）对，就是这个味儿！

Rachel

Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know? I should just.. . move on with my life.

关键是，我或许不该再等着和罗斯有什么进展了，我该……开始新的生活。

Phoebe

Really? You're moving on from Ross?

真的？你要放下罗斯了？

Rachel

I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?

不知道，非得现在做决定吗？

Phoebe

Well, you kind of just did. That guy is going to call you tonight. Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.

你刚刚已经决定了。那男人今晚打电话来，罗斯一接，什么都清楚了。

Rachel

Oh God, Ross. Ross is going to pick up the phone. Oh, I have to get my number back. (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.) Oh my God. He's gone.

天呐，罗斯，罗斯会接电话的！我得把号码要回来。（转身找比尔，人已经走了。）完了，他走了。

Phoebe

(imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh my God. He's gone." (smiles) Dead on.

（模仿瑞秋）“我得把号码要回来，天呐，他走了。”（笑）学得一模一样。

Mike

(releases a whoosh of air) Ya know, I'm going to take off.

（呼出一口气）我该走了。

Ross

So soon?

这么快？

Mike

Well, yeah.

嗯，是啊。

Ross

Okay. Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.

好吧，谢谢你的啤酒。

Mike

Ah, you mean lager.

是窖藏啤酒。

Ross

Ah yeah. Good times.

对，今晚很开心。

(Mike leaves. Ross closes the door behind him.)

（迈克离开，罗斯关上了门。）

Mike

(In the hall, relieved) Oh.

（在走廊里松了口气）终于走了。

(Ross, inside the door, releases a sign of relief. Back in the hall, Mike's cell phone rings.)

（罗斯在门里也松了口气。走廊里，迈克的手机响了。）

Mike

Hello?

喂？

Phoebe

(calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me. Listen, is um, is Ross near you?

（在酒吧打电话）嘿，迈克，是我。罗斯在你旁边吗？

Mike

Uh, no. I just left.

不在，我刚从他家出来。

Phoebe

Well, you have to go back in.

你得回去。

Mike

Wha.. . ? Go back? To the "land where time stands still"?

啊？回去？回那个“时间静止的地方”？

Phoebe

I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone. So, you have to intercept all his calls.

抱歉亲爱的，瑞秋把号码给了个男人，她不想让罗斯接电话，你回去帮她拦截所有来电。

Mike

I can't do that!

我做不到！

Phoebe

(to Rachel) He says he can't do that.

（对瑞秋说）他说他不行。

Rachel

Oh give me , , , (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.) Hi, Mike? Hi. Listen. I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what? If you do this I.. . Phoebe will.. . do anything you want. Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.

把电话给我。（菲比把电话递给瑞秋。）嗨，迈克。我知道这要求过分，但你帮我这个忙，菲比什么都愿意为你做，真的，各种刺激的事都行。

Phoebe

All right. (She takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello? Hi. I'm sorry about her, but she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.

行了。（从瑞秋手里拿过电话。）抱歉啊，她说的是真的，我什么都愿意。

Mike

All right. I'll do it. (Phoebe gives the thumbs-up sign to Rachel.) But really, how much dirtier can it get?

好吧，我帮你。（菲比对瑞秋比了个大拇指。）不过，还能有多刺激？

Phoebe

(knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike. Bye.

（意味深长地笑了笑）迈克，你懂的。拜拜。

(Mike knocks on Ross's door. Ross opens it.)

（迈克敲罗斯家的门，罗斯开了门。）

Mike

Hey buddy.

嘿，兄弟。

Ross

Uh, hi.

嗨。

Mike

Um, can I come back in?

我能再进去坐坐吗？

Ross

(putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.) Why? (He starts to lower his arm.)

（手撑在门框上）为什么？（慢慢放下手。）

Mike

(Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.

（走进公寓）我突然想到，我们还有好多话没聊完。

Ross

(whining) But you left.

（委屈地说）可你刚走啊。

Joey

Wow! That didn't take long. I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.

这么快就回来了？你不是说飞塔尔萨要三小时吗？

Chandler

(pause) Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.

（停顿）你忘了时差了。

(Joey thinks a moment. Then, he nods. Joey follows Chandler into the apartment.)

（乔伊想了想，点点头，跟着钱德走进公寓。）

Monica

(gasp) Chandler! You're home!

天呐，钱德，你回来了！

Chandler

That's right. You're husband's home. So, now the sex can stop.

对，你老公回来了，你们的好事该停了。

(Joey gives him and odd look. Monica gives a similar look.)

（乔伊和莫妮卡都奇怪地看着他。）

Monica

What are you saying?

你胡说什么呢？

Chandler

Joey said that you're in here with another man.

乔伊说你带别的男人回家了。

Monica

There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that. (She slaps Chandler.)

家里根本没别人，你竟敢污蔑我。（打了钱德一巴掌。）

Joey

All right. All right. Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh? (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat. Then he proceeds to their bedroom.) Bwa-ah-ah!

行了行了，那我和我兄弟搜查一下没问题吧？（拿着球棒晃了晃，检查了浴室，又走进卧室。）哇哈哈！

(Thudding sounds can be heard from the bedroom.)

（卧室里传来砰砰的声音。）

Chandler

(To Monica) What is he doing?

（对莫妮卡说）他在干嘛？

Monica

(smiling) I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.

（笑着说）我在床上摆了几个枕头，堆成了人的样子。

Joey

(emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.

（从卧室出来）卧室没人，不过你们得换几个新枕头了。

Chandler

All right. Well, I'll check the guest room.

我去检查客房。

Joey

(sniffing the air and then Monica.) Why do I smell men's cologne?

（闻了闻空气，又闻了闻莫妮卡）我怎么闻到男士古龙水的味道了？

Monica

(sniffing Joey) I think that's you.

（闻了闻乔伊）是你身上的吧。

Joey

(sniffs his shirt.) Oh yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.

（闻了闻自己的衣服）哦对，我刚才用杂志蹭了蹭自己，沾了点香水味。

Chandler

There's nobody here Joe.

乔，家里真没人。

Joey

I guess not.

好像是吧。

Monica

I can't believe you thought I was cheating. (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.

真不敢相信你居然觉得我出轨，你得跟我道歉。

Joey

Yeah, right Monica. I'm so sorry.

好吧，莫妮卡，对不起。

Monica

(suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake. It could happen to anyone. All right, see ya.

（突然赶他走）没事，误会而已，谁都会搞错。好了，再见。

Joey

(spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it.) Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?

（看到门边钱德的行李箱）等等，不对啊。你刚从塔尔萨回来，行李箱怎么比你先到？

Chandler

(thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?

（愣了一下，看向莫妮卡）我从消防梯爬下来，你就不能把箱子藏衣柜里吗？

Mike

So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing. Fascinating isn't it.

除了发酵工艺不同，啤酒和麦芽酿啤酒基本一样，有意思吧。

Ross

Maybe you should look up "fascinating."

你该查查“有意思”是什么意思。

(Phone rings.)

（电话响了。）

Mike

I'll get it. (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone. Ross stares at him with wide eyes.) Hello? Ross's place. Mike speaking. (pause. Hands phone to Ross) It's for you.

我来接。（越过罗斯的腿扑过去接电话，罗斯瞪大了眼睛看着他。）喂，罗斯家，我是迈克。（停顿，把电话递给罗斯）找你的。

Ross

(takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.

（接过电话，对迈克说）我没看懂你刚才在干嘛。

Joey

What's going on?

到底怎么回事？

Chandler

I'm sorry. I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know.. . I didn't think you'd understand.

对不起，我骗你说在塔尔萨，是因为我想陪莫妮卡，我怕你不理解。

Joey

What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh? Do you think I'm like, "Duh." (He strikes himself in the head with the bat. He stands dazed for a moment.)

什么？你觉得我笨到不懂丈夫想陪老婆？你觉得我是个傻子吗？（用球棒敲了敲自己的头，愣了一会儿。）

Monica

Joey?

乔伊？

Joey

Yeah? (His eyes bug out.)

嗯？（眼睛瞪得大大的。）

Monica

I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.

我不知道说什么了，我们不该骗你的。

Chandler

Yeah. I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

是啊，我特别愧疚，我能做点什么补偿你吗？

Joey

(pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't. But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.

（停顿）你陪我去看球赛吧，虽然你之前说不去，还骗我、耍我，把我头都打了个包。

Chandler

I'm sorry. That's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica.

对不起，这个不行，我答应陪莫妮卡了。

Joey

All right.

好吧。

Monica

(taps chandler on the arm) You can go.

（拍了拍钱德的胳膊）你去吧。

Chandler

What?

啊？

Monica

You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to.

你该去看球赛，没事，我想让你去。

Chandler

Really? You're gonna be okay?

真的？你一个人没问题吗？

Monica

Yeah, I'll be fine. You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.

没问题，我在家接着练怎么勾引你。

Chandler

You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?

你肯定会换上运动服打扫卫生，对吧？

Monica

It's gonna be so hot! (She kisses him.)

肯定特别有意思！（吻了钱德一下。）

Chandler

Okay, bye.

好，拜拜。

Monica

Have fun.

玩得开心。

Joey

Thanks. (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall. Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.) Here's your ticket.

谢了。（两人走到走廊，乔伊掏出票递给钱德一张。）给你票。

Chandler

Hey, listen. I'm never going to lie to you again, okay? And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.

我以后再也不骗你了，没人觉得你笨。

Joey

Thanks man.

谢了兄弟。

(Chandler heads toward the stairs, but makes a turn back to his apartment while looking at the ticket.)

（钱德朝楼梯走，看着票又转身回了公寓。）

Joey

Where are you going?

你去哪儿？

Chandler

Game's tomorrow night Joe.

球赛是明晚的，乔。

(Chandler goes into the apartment, while Joey checks his ticket and is embarrassed by his stupid mistake.)

（钱德走进公寓，乔伊看了看票，为自己的蠢 mistake 感到尴尬。）

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

(Everyone exchanges greetings.)

（众人互相打招呼。）

Ross

Oh God. (He hugs Rachel)

天呐。（拥抱瑞秋。）

Rachel

Oh.. .

哦。

Mike

I'm so glad you're back. (He hugs Phoebe.)

你们回来太好了。（拥抱菲比。）

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Rachel

Wow. So, what did you guys do?

你们刚才干嘛了？

Ross

Oh, you know.. . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.

就喝了点啤酒，迈克还突破了正常社交的底线。

Mike

It's true. I did.

没错，我是这么做了。

Phoebe

(pause) Well, good bye.

好吧，再见。

(Okays, and good byes are exchanged all around.)

（众人互相道别。）

Rachel

That was fun Pheebs.

今晚玩得真开心。

Phoebe

I know. That was fun. (She and Mike exit.)

是啊，超开心。（和迈克离开。）

Rachel

See you guys. (She closes the door.)

再见。（关上门。）

Ross

Rachel, lock the door. Lock the door, seriously.

瑞秋，把门锁上，认真的。

Rachel

Oh shoot. I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks. (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.) Wait, wait. Sorry. Did he call? Did that guy call?

糟了，我忘了给菲比酒钱了。（走到走廊，关上了门。）等等，他打电话来了吗？那个男人？

Mike

No. Just his mom.

没有，只有罗斯妈妈打来的。

Rachel

Oh, around 8:30?

八点半左右？

Mike

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

Then, again at 9:00?

九点又打了一次？

Mike

(nods) uh-huh.

（点头）嗯。

Rachel

Yeah.

好吧。

(Inside the apartment the phone rings. Ross answers it.)

（公寓里电话响了，罗斯接了起来。）

Ross

Hello. (listens) Ah, no, she's not here right now. Can I take a message? (grabs a pad and pen) Bill from the bar? (writes) Okay, "Bill from the bar." I'll make sure she gets your number.

喂。（听了一会儿）她现在不在，需要留言吗？（拿起纸笔）酒吧认识的比尔？（写下）好，我会把你的号码转给她。

(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad. Then, he stops and re-reads it. Rachel enters.)

（挂了电话，撕下纸条，又停下来看了一遍。瑞秋走进来。）

Rachel

Aaah. (She goes to tend Emma.)

我回来了。（去照看艾玛。）

Ross

So, ah.. . So, how was it? Uh, did you guys.. . Did you guys have a good time?

今晚玩得怎么样？开心吗？

Rachel

Oh, it was so much fun. It felt so good to be out.

超开心，出来玩的感觉太好了。

Ross

(holds up the message) Uh, Rach.

（举起纸条）瑞秋。

Rachel

(still looking at Emma) Yeah?

（看着艾玛）嗯？

Ross

(pauses, then crunches up the note and stuffs it in his pocket.) Never mind.

（停顿，把纸条揉成团塞进口袋）没事了。

Ross

Hey you guys. (He sits.)

嘿，你们好。（坐下。）

Mike

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey. I'll be right back. I've got to go to the bathroom. (She rises and exits.)

嘿，我去趟洗手间，马上回来。（起身离开。）

(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. They sheepishly exchange glances.)

（罗斯和迈克对视一眼，又一起看向菲比离开的方向，尴尬地对视了一眼。）

Mike

(finally) Stout. That's a kind of beer.

（终于开口）黑啤，也是啤酒的一种。

(Ross smiles slightly. Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet. He exits the coffee shop.)

（罗斯微微笑了笑，点点头站起身，离开了咖啡馆。）

End

剧终