The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Phoebe

Oh hey you guys, I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday, so we have to do dinner Thursday night instead.

哦嘿大家，我生日那天晚上订不到位子，所以我们只能改到周四晚上吃晚饭了。

Joey

Thursday? But that's Halloween.

周四？可那天是万圣节啊。

Phoebe

So?

那又怎样？

Joey

So spooky, that's all.

就是有点吓人，没别的。

Ross

So, so, is Mike coming to dinner?

那，麦克会来吃晚饭吗？

Phoebe

No! It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Ugh, I get mad at him, but I think it's a little to soon to show my true colors.

不来！这是我第一次有男朋友陪的生日，他却要工作。呃，我生他气，但我觉得现在就显露我的本色还有点太早了。

Rachel

Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (To Ross) Which one of us should go to dinner?

菲比，我会订五个人的位子，因为我们中得有一个人在家照看艾玛。（对罗斯说）我们俩谁去吃晚饭？

Phoebe

Oh, Rachel! (As in "Rachel should go!")

哦，瑞秋！（意思是“瑞秋该去！”）

Ross

Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.

其实，嗯，我在想或许我们俩都能去。

Phoebe

Oh, yay! (Less than enthusiastic.)

哦，太棒了！（没什么热情）

Ross

Thanks, I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.

谢谢，我会在给你的礼物上多花点心思的。

Phoebe

Alright, okay, so we can all go now. That's fun. Hey, you know what? We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.

好吧，那我们现在都能去了，真好。嘿，你们知道吗？我们六个好久没聚在一起了。

Monica

What are you talking about? We're all together right now.

你说什么呢？我们现在不就都在一起嘛。

Rachel

Um, Mon, Chandler's not here.

嗯，莫，钱德勒不在。

Monica

Oh, dear God!

哦，天啊！

Chandler

Good morning everyone, it's nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? Yes, Ken is it?

大家早上好，很高兴我们团队第一次全员到齐。在开始之前，大家有什么问题吗？好，肯是吧？

Ken

That's right. Is it true the reason you're here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?

没错。你来塔尔萨的原因，是因为你在会议上睡着了，稀里糊涂接了这份工作，都没意识到自己答应了什么，这是真的吗？

Chandler

Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken. But yeah, that's true. Alright, let's get started by taking a look at last quarter's figures. (Claudia, next to Chandler, lights a cigarette.) Ah, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses' ass?

肯，别什么话都信。不过，确实是真的。好了，我们先看看上季度的数据吧。（钱德勒身边的克劳迪娅点了根烟）啊，克劳迪娅，你不是该去讨好老板吗？

Claudia

I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?

抱歉，烟味打扰到你了吗？

Chandler

No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can't remember why. You're not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?

不不不。我抽了好几年烟，后来戒了。现在都想不起来为什么戒了。办公室里不让抽烟，对吧？

Claudia

Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. Would you like one?

对，俄克拉荷马州规定，15人及以下的办公室里抽烟是合法的。要来一根吗？

Chandler

Alright, look. I don't smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine. (Everyone lights up.) So you all smoke then? That's almost rude, that I'm not.

好吧，我不抽烟了。但你们其他人想抽就抽吧，没关系。（所有人都点了烟）所以你们都抽烟？我不抽，这都快显得不礼貌了。

Ken

That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke ...

不会的，你不想抽的话……

Chandler

(loud) Ken, please! No, I can't, I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.

（大声）肯，别说了！不行，我不能抽烟。我要是抽了，我老婆会杀了我的。

Ken

I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?

抱歉，但你老婆不是回纽约了吗？

Chandler

I always liked you, Ken. (Takes a cig)

我一直挺喜欢你的，肯。（拿起一根烟）

Knock at door.

敲门声响起。

Phoebe

(from outside) Trick or treat!

（门外）不给糖就捣蛋！

Monica

(opening the door) Hey!

（开门）嘿！

Phoebe

Ooh, and treat it is. (Looks at Monica's exposed cleavage.)

哇，还真有糖吃。（看着莫尼卡露出来的胸口）

Monica

Hmhmm. (Closes robe)

嗯哼。（把浴袍裹紧）

Phoebe

Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.

哇，还好我换了衣服。差点穿那件破破烂烂、裹不住胸的浴袍过来了。

Monica

This is not, what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating and Chandler's gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.

我平时不穿这个。我在排卵期，钱德勒马上就到家了，所以我想我们晚饭前可以先亲热一下。

Phoebe

Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?

哦。等等！你们俩不会迟到我的生日宴吧？

Monica

Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We'll probably be the first ones there.

相信我，我和钱德勒一个多星期没见了。我们说不定是最早到的。

Phoebe

'kay, see you there. Happy humping! (outside, meets Chandler.) Hey...hey! (Sniffs) Oh, wow, somebody smoked out here? Oh my god, don't people know, you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?

好，到时见。祝你们尽兴！（出门遇到钱德勒）嘿……嘿！（闻了闻）哇，有人在外面抽烟了？天啊，难道没人知道公共场所不能抽烟吗？

Chandler

Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all common areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.

其实俄克拉荷马州规定，所有公共区域和15人以下的办公室都可以抽烟。

Phoebe

You smoked!

你抽烟了！

Chandler

No! I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states. For example, in Hawaii cigarettes are called leihalalokos.

没有！我只是刚好知道很多不同州关于抽烟的冷知识。比如，夏威夷把香烟叫leihalalokos。

Phoebe

(Sniffs him) Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.

（凑近闻了闻）钱德勒，你一身烟味。

Chandler

Ah, do you think, Monica's gonna be able smell it?

啊，你觉得莫尼卡能闻出来吗？

Phoebe

Are you kidding? The woman has the nose of a bloodhound ... and the breasts of a great goddess... (Has odd smile.)

开玩笑吧？那女人鼻子灵得像猎犬……胸又美得像女神……（笑得怪怪的）

Chandler

Pheebs?

菲比？

Phoebe

(embarrassed) I'm gonna go.

（尴尬）我走了。

Chandler

(Enters. Talking to self) Okay, something to cover the smell ... Oven cleaner! (sprays himself, reads label) Unscented!

（进屋，自言自语）得找点东西盖住烟味……烤箱清洁剂！（往自己身上喷，看了看标签）无香型！

Monica

(from bedroom doorway) Welcome home. I've missed you. Join me in the bedroom?

（卧室门口）欢迎回家，我好想你。来卧室找我吗？

Chandler

No thanks, I'm good.

不了谢谢，我没事。

Monica

(comes over) OK, so you wanna play it that way, do you?

（走过来）好啊，你想这样是吧？

Chandler

(shrinks back) Right. You know what? Actually I just got off the plane, so I'm feeling kinda gross. Maybe I should just take a shower.

（往后缩）对。你知道吗？我刚下飞机，身上脏脏的。或许我该洗个澡。

Monica

You don't need a shower.

你不用洗澡。

Chandler

(backs away) Alright, the truth is, I soiled myself during some turbulences.

（继续后退）好吧，实话跟你说，飞机遇到气流时我不小心弄脏自己了。

Monica

What do I smell? (sniffs him) I smell smoke. Hon, did you smoke?

我闻到什么了？（凑近闻）有烟味。亲爱的，你抽烟了？

Chandler

Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two packs...a...a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. But it's over, I made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore.

是，但我就抽了一根。两根，两根小小的烟。好吧，五根。一包，两包……一条。两天抽了整整三大条。但都过去了，我决定了，再也不抽了。

Monica

(Finds a pack inhis jacket)

（在他外套里找出一包烟）

Chandler

But, those are for you.

那是给你的。

Ross

(On phone.) Alright, we'll just, uh, see you when you get here. Bye. (Hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she's stuck in terrible traffic.

（打电话）好，那你到了我们再碰面，再见。（挂电话）是我妈，她堵在路上了。

Rachel

Okay, well that's now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.

好吧，这已经是第三个预兆，告诉我不该离开艾玛。

Ross

Oh, what were the other two?

哦，另外两个是什么？

Rachel

Well, let's see. The first one is: I don't want to. And, you know, I'm not going.

我不想去。第二个是，我去不了。

Ross

I know, it's the first time, we're leaving the baby and ... hey, I know how hard it is for you, but ... but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She's great with kids.

我知道，这是我们第一次把孩子单独留下……我知道你很难受，但艾玛会没事的。我妈会陪着她，她很会带孩子。

Rachel

She is?

是吗？

Ross

Yeah.

是啊。

Rachel

What about Monica.

那莫尼卡呢？

Ross

Hey, you only heard Monica's side of that. That little fatso was a terror.

你只听了莫尼卡的一面之词。那小胖子小时候可淘气了。

Rachel

I just don't think I can bear it.

我就是受不了。

Ross

Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.

瑞秋，我知道你可以的，你也该去。

Rachel

Umm.

嗯。

Ross

Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don't you, why don't you go ahead to the restaurant and I'll wait for my mom, and then I'll meet you there.

真的，这对你也好。要不你先去餐厅，我等我妈，然后再过去找你。

Rachel

Oh, ah...

哦，啊……

Ross

No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red.

别别，真的，你该去。去吧！出去好好玩玩！尽情享受，玩个痛快。

Rachel

You need to learn some new slang.

你该学点新的俚语了。

Ross

I'm serious. C'mon, you should go. Here. (shoves her outside) No, uh-uh, just go.

我是认真的，去吧。（把她推出门）别废话，去吧。

Rachel

Wait ... Oh!

等等……哦！

Ross

No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You're not going back in there, the baby's fine, now scram. Yeah, tell your story walking.

不行！你知道吗？（关门）不许回去，孩子没事，赶紧走。边走边说去吧。

Rachel

I was just going to say that I left my keys.

我就是想说我没带钥匙。

Ross

Oh, (door is locked) Holy moly, are we in a pickle now.

哦，（门锁上了）天啊，我们这下麻烦大了。

Phoebe

Where is everyone? They're forty minutes late.

大家都去哪儿了？迟到四十分钟了。

Joey

I know.

可不是嘛。

Phoebe

I'm starving. I knew we were coming here tonight, so I ate nothing all day.

我快饿死了。我知道今晚要来这儿，所以一整天都没吃东西。

Joey

What about me, huh? Only had one lunch today.

我呢？我今天就吃了一顿午饭。

Waiter

So, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?

请问，你们同行的人很快就到吗？

Phoebe

(Putting on "higher class" way of speaking.) Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.

（装出上流社会的语气）是的，他们马上就到。嗯，快了，他们即将抵达。

Waiter

Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.

好的。我们现在有两人桌空着，或许你们坐那儿会更舒服。

Joey

No, they're coming, we're waiting right here.

不用，他们会来的，我们就在这儿等。

Phoebe

Joseph! (To waiter) Thou needn't worry, they shan't be long.

约瑟夫！（对服务员说）你不必担心，他们马上就到。

Waiter

It's just that we do have some large parties waiting.

只是我们还有些大桌客人在等位子。

Phoebe

One really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one.

这人也太死板了吧。

Monica

How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad where the little kid walks to grandpa, it's chilling.

现在都什么年代了，你还抽烟？你没看过那个广告吗？小孩走向爷爷，太吓人了。

Chandler

I messed up, it was a meeting, everybody was smoking.

我搞砸了，开会的时候所有人都在抽。

Monica

So what? Don't you have any will power?

那又怎样？你就没点意志力吗？

Chandler

Will power? I've watched home movies of you eating ding-dongs without taking the tinfoil off.

意志力？我看过你吃叮咚糖，连锡纸都不撕就直接吃的家庭录像。

Monica

You said that was sexy!

你当时说那样很性感！

Chandler

OK, look: Can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again.

好了，别吵这个了行吗？我以后不抽了。

Monica

That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again.

没错，我禁止你再抽烟。

Chandler

You forbid me?

你禁止我？

Monica

Um-hm.

嗯。

Chandler

You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife...is she here, by the way?

我大老远飞回来见我亲爱的老婆……话说，我老婆在吗？

Monica

Don't joke with me, okay? I'm very, very upset right now.

别跟我开玩笑，好吗？我现在特别生气。

Chandler

Oh, would you say this was the most upset you could be?

哦，你是说这是你最生气的时候吗？

Monica

Yes.

是。

Chandler

Then, I might as well do this (Lights a cigarette. Exhales. Pauses.) Not really sure what to do now.

那我不如这样好了。（点了根烟，吐了口烟，停顿）现在不知道该怎么办了。

Monica

Well, I'll tell you what we're gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner, so you put out that cigarette, we're gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.

我们已经迟到菲比的生日宴了，你把烟掐了，我们先不吵了，去做爱。

Chandler

Fine. What?!?

行，啥？！？

Monica

Sex! This is the last day I'm ovulating, and if we don't do it now, we'll have to wait till next month.

做爱！我排卵期就剩最后一天了，现在不做，就得等下个月了。

Chandler

You're serious?

你认真的？

Monica

Oh yeah!

当然！

Chandler

Right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.

行，我做，但不许说话。

Monica

Huh, and no cuddling.

也不许抱抱。

Chandler

And no kissing your neck.

也不许亲你脖子。

Monica

Oh good, I hate it when you do that

太好了，我最讨厌你亲我脖子了。

Chandler

And lots of kissing your neck!

那我要使劲亲你脖子！

Ross

Okay, well the superintendant is not home.

好吧，管理员不在家。

Rachel

No!

不会吧！

Ross

Oh-oh, wait, my mother is gonna be here any minute. And she has the keys.

等等，我妈马上就到，她有钥匙。

Rachel

Alright, I can't, I can't wait that long. You have to do something...knock that door down!

不行，我等不了那么久。你得想办法……把门撞开！

Ross

I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.

我倒是想，但我一碰就青。再说了，没事的，孩子在睡觉呢。

Rachel

What if she jumped out the basinet?

万一她从婴儿床里跳出来了呢？

Ross

Can't hold her own head up, but yeah, jump out.

她连头都抬不起来，怎么跳啊。

Rachel

Oh my God, I left the water running.

天啊，我忘关水龙头了。

Ross

Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?

瑞秋，你没忘关。冷静点，好吗？

Rachel

Ah, did I leave the stove on?

那我忘关煤气灶了吗？

Ross

You never cooked since 1996.

1996年之后你就没做过饭。

Rachel

Is the window open? Because if there's a window open, a bird could fly in there.

窗户开着吗？要是开着，鸟会飞进去的。

Ross

Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you're right. I think .. listen, listen!

天啊，我觉得你说得对。你听！

Rachel

Huh?

啊？

Ross

A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in! Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirl pool that fills the apartment.

鸽子，鸽子。不对，等等，是老鹰飞进来了！落在煤气灶上着火了。宝宝看到后，跳过去救老鹰。老鹰以为宝宝要攻击它，就用爪子抓住了宝宝。与此同时，水龙头把公寓淹了。着火的宝宝和老鹰死死缠在一起，在水里打转。

Rachel

Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.

要是真发生了，你肯定得后悔。

Waiter

Hello.

您好。

Phoebe & Joey: Hey.

嘿。

Waiter

It's been an hour. Would you be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table?

已经过去一小时了，你们要不要考虑换个小桌？

Joey

Maybe we should just eat now.

要不我们先吃吧。

Waiter

You can't order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.

人没到齐不能点菜，餐厅规定。

Joey

Well, how about this: Another table leaves, right? But there's still some food left on their place, OK, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that?

那这样，别的桌走了，桌上还有剩菜，餐厅允许吃吗？

Waiter

Strange man.

真奇怪。

Joey

But it happens? (Waiter leaves. To Pheobe.) I'm gotta go to the bathroom.

有过吧？（服务员离开，对菲比说）我要去洗手间。

Phoebe

No, you can't go. No-no-no, I can't hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I'll cave.

不行，你不能去。我一个人守不住桌子，他们让我换我肯定会妥协。

Joey

If you ask me to stay, I'll pee. (leaves)

你不让我去我就尿裤子。（离开）

Maitre D'

Good evening, Miss. (Phoebe turns her head away) Miss? (from the opposite side) Miss? Miss!

晚上好，女士。（菲比扭头不理）女士？（从另一边）女士！

Phoebe

Okay, fine, I'll move. Alright, you don't have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? Okay. Thank you. .

行了，我换。别推我。（起身）去哪？好，谢谢。

Joey

(Returns to their old table where elderly people are sitting now, sits) Finally you guys made it. (looks up, turns left to Phoebe's chair) Pheebs, who the hell...ahhh!

（回到原来的桌子，现在坐着一对老人，坐下）你们终于来了。（抬头看向菲比的座位）菲比，这是谁……啊！

Monica

Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby.

多摆弄下领带，这样容易怀孩子。

Chandler

Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way.

我做不到。我们吵成这样，我没法和你做爱。

Monica

Oh sure, now you're Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral...

哟，现在变敏感先生了？我叔叔葬礼刚结束你还想做爱呢……

Chandler

That was a celebration of life! Alright, look, I'm not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want our baby to be conceived?

那是对生命的致敬！我不做了。你真希望我们的孩子是这样怀上的吗？

Monica

No, you're right. We shouldn't do it like this. Huh. For what it's worth, I'm, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, it's not the end of the world.

你说得对，不该这样。好吧，我道歉，不该因为抽烟的事对你那么凶。不就是抽了几根烟嘛，又不是世界末日。

Chandler

You mean it?

真的？

Monica

Yeah.

嗯。

Chandler

You are incredible. I'm not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)

你太好了。我以后不抽了。就算抽，我保证也会藏得好好的，不让你发现。（两人亲吻）

Monica

Do you want to?

要继续吗？

Chandler

Yeah, let's celebrate life!

嗯，致敬生命！

Monica

Okay.

好。

They enter with Ross's Mom

两人和罗斯妈妈一起进屋

Rachel

(To Emma) Oh, God, Oh, thank god, you're okay. I'm so sorry we left you. Mom never gonna leave you again. Never ever ever again.

（对艾玛）天啊，谢天谢地你没事。对不起我们离开你了，妈妈再也不会离开你了，永远永远不会。

Ross

Great. So let's get going?

太好了，我们出发吧？

Rachel

Oh no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again.

不，我说真的，经历了刚才的事，我再也不离开她了。

Ross's Mom

I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his willie between his legs and cried out: "Mommy, I'm a girl, take me with you."

“妈妈，我是女孩，带我一起去。”

Ross

Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.

不知怎么的，后来离开你就越来越容易了。

Chandler

Uhh. You are welcome.

嗯，不客气。

Monica

You know what? Let's not talk.

别说话了。

Chandler

What?

啊？

Monica

Ooh, I am still so mad at you for smoking.

我还是很气你抽烟的事。

Chandler

But you said you forgave me. It was just a couple of cigarettes, no big deal.

你不是说原谅我了吗？就几根烟而已，多大点事。

Monica

Oh, blah blah blah blah.

行了行了。

Chandler

I can't believe it.

我不敢相信。

Monica

I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have sex with me while we're fighting.

我那么说是因为我在排卵期，你又说吵架时不跟我做爱。

Chandler

You tricked me to get me into bed?

你骗我上床？

Monica

That's right, I got mine.

对，我达到目的了。

Chandler

I feel so used.

我感觉被利用了。

Phoebe

Well, I guess they're not coming. You wanna just order?

看来他们不来了，我们点菜吧？

Joey

Thank you. Waiter! All right, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up. Risotto with the shaped truffels and the roasted rip steak with the golden ??? and a Bordelaise sauce, unless any of that stuff I just said means snails.

太好了，服务员！我快点说，你记好。松露烩饭、烤牛排配金黄配料和波尔多酱汁，除非我刚才说的里有蜗牛。

Waiter

It doesn't.

没有。

Phoebe

Tomato tart and which of the pastas would you recommend?

番茄挞，还有推荐款意面各来一份。

Waiter

Oh, they're both exquisite.

两款都很美味。

Phoebe

Both it is, thank you.

那就都要，谢谢。

Joey

Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request? Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don't care.

还有个特殊要求，做好就直接上，前菜主菜不用分先后。

Ross & Rachel: (entering) Hey, hi, hi!

（走进来）嘿！

Waiter

I'll just wait to put your order in.

那我等你们人到齐再下单。

Phoebe

You guys are over an hour late. What happened to you two?

你们迟到一个多小时了，怎么回事？

Ross

I'm so sorry ...

太抱歉了……

Rachel

We got locked out of the apartment, we ...

我们被锁在公寓外了……

Joey

That's a great story. Can I eat it?

故事真精彩，能当饭吃吗？

Ross

And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.

而且瑞秋舍不得离开宝宝。

Rachel

It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I got to do.

很难，但今天是你生日，我必须得来。

Phoebe

And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?

那边吧台的朱迪带着艾玛呢？

Rachel

Oh honey, this is for the best, this way I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she's doing at home and I'm being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!

亲爱的，这样最好，我不用分心担心艾玛在家怎么样，能专心陪你……哦，她吐奶了！

Ross

What?

什么？

Rachel

She spit up. Judy! She spi...Judy! Look alive, Judy! Thank you.

她吐奶了，朱迪！朱迪，快看看！谢谢。

Ross

(To waiter, opening menu) Thanks. Oh.

（对服务员，翻开菜单）谢谢。

Rachel

Oh, ooh, everything looks delicious. What should I ha-ave? What should I have?

看着都好香，我吃什么好呢？

Joey

(mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.

（小声嘀咕）不能打女人，不能打女人。

Ross

Y'know this ??? is incredible.

这个菜超好吃。

Joey

(still mumbling to himself) Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.

（继续嘀咕）罗斯一碰就青，一碰就青。

Ross

Okay, I'll have the fixed salad and the duck.

我要招牌沙拉和鸭肉。

Rachel

Yeah, I'll have the soup and the salmon.

我要汤和三文鱼。

Joey

And remember whatever comes up first. Okay? And hurry, because ...

做好就上，快点，因为……

Monica

Happy birthday!

生日快乐！

Joey

Son of a bitch!

该死！

Phoebe

Where, where have you been?

你们去哪了？

Monica

Well, we had a little fight.

我们吵了一架。

Chandler

I would never lie to get someone into bed.

我才不会骗人上床。

Monica

You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn't it? How come you didn't get a bigger table? ...You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. (Looks at menu) I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.

你以前还骗女孩说自己是肯尼迪家族的呢。谢谢，桌子好挤，怎么没订大桌？……你们本来有大桌，被换了吧。闭嘴莫尼卡。（看菜单）钱德勒来份熏鸭。

Chandler

I suppose that Monica will have the ... manipulative shrew.

莫尼卡来份……心机泼妇。

Waiter

(Leaving) I'll give you another minute.

（离开）再给你们一分钟。

Joey

Why are you going? (Following) He said she wanted the shrew!

别走啊！他说她要泼妇！

Ross

Rach, c'mon, Emma is fine. You're turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.

瑞秋，艾玛没事，你快成强迫症妈妈了，别这样。

Rachel

You guys ever heard the story about when Ross's mom went to the beauty salon?

你们听过罗斯妈妈去美容院的故事吗？

Chandler

You mean the willie story?

小鸡鸡那个？

Ross

Huh-huh, they already know it! (Ross wins...but then realizes that perhaps it's not a good thing that they already know this story.)

他们早就知道了！（罗斯得意，随即又觉得不是好事）

Phoebe

You guys, we've been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.

我们等你们好久了，点菜吧。

Joey

(Returning) No, no, it's okay, I already told the waiter what they want.

（回来）没事，我已经帮你们点好了。

Monica

Why would you do that?

你干嘛帮我们点？

Joey

Chandler, control your woman!

钱德勒，管管你老婆！

Rachel

(Lifts glass for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast ... to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.

（举杯）大家都点好了，我来祝酒……敬菲比，她袜子掉了。

Phoebe

Aw ... what?

啊？什么？

Rachel

No, no, Emma dropped her sock.

不对，艾玛袜子掉了。

Monica

Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.

妈妈来了？她跟我说今天出城了，我还想和她吃午饭呢。

Rachel

Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.

罗斯，她还没看到宝宝的袜子掉地上了。

Phoebe

It's a good toast.

祝酒词不错。

Rachel

(to Ross) Could you please get her attention?

（对罗斯）你提醒她一下。

Ross

Mommy!

妈妈！

Phoebe

(getting up) Oh, for god's sake, (shouting) Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody stares) I'm sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt the hideousness that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn't even have the courtesy to call. (her phone rings) Well, it's too late now.

（起身）天啊，（大喊）朱迪，捡袜子！捡袜子！（众人盯着她）抱歉，我是不是太粗鲁了？我这点小脾气，是不是毁了今晚糟糕的氛围？我知道你们都有事，但我就想生日这天和朋友吃顿饭，你们全迟到，连个电话都不打。（手机响）现在说什么都晚了。

Ross

Well, I don't think that's us.

应该不是我们的电话。

Phoebe

Well, this is, this is not over! (on phone) Hello?

这事没完！（接电话）喂？

Joey

(to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?

（对钱德勒和莫尼卡）你们俩怎么回事？

Monica

Um, you see, I'm ovulating.

我在排卵期。

Chandler

Oh yeah, that's what she says. But maybe you're not ovulating at all, maybe it's just a clever ruse to get me into bed.

她是这么说的，说不定根本没排卵，就是骗我上床的花招。

Monica

Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can't get enough.

没错，烟鬼，就是这样，我就是想骗你。

Chandler

(to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.

（对乔伊）你敢信吗？她骗我上床！

Joey

So? You had sex, right?

那又怎样？你们不是做了吗？

Chandler

What's the matter with me? Why I'm such a girl?

我怎么回事？怎么这么矫情？

Phoebe

(returns) Okay, that was Mike.

（回来）是麦克。

Rachel

Phoebe, hi, we're so sorry. You're totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.

菲比，对不起，你说得对。我们都在这儿，爱你，准备好给你过生日了。

Phoebe

Huh, guys, that means the world to me. Huh, okay, I'm gonna take off.

谢谢大家，我很感动。我先走了。

Rachel

What?

啊？

Phoebe

Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.

我也爱你们，但麦克提前下班了。等等，我不是那种重色轻友的女孩。其实我就是。拜拜！（朝吧台挥手）朱迪拜拜！

Rachel

Oh thank god, if Phoebe's going, can we please take Emma home?

谢天谢地，菲比走了，我们带艾玛回家吧？

Ross

You know, I think that's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded down another Chardonnay. Bye, you guys.

好主意，我们的保姆又喝了一杯霞多丽。拜拜。

Monica

Bye.

拜拜。

Joey

See ya. Well, this is just us.

拜拜，就剩我们了。

Monica & Chandler: Mhum.

嗯。

Monica

So, I'm, I'm probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try?

我应该还在排卵期，要不要再试试？

Chandler

So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?

你没跟肯尼迪家族的人上过床吧？

Joey

Do, you gonna go do it now?

你们现在要去吗？

Monica

We don't have much time. Once the egg decends into the ovaries ..

时间不多了，卵子一进入卵巢就……

Joey

No, no (not wanting to hear).

别说了。

(Monica and Chandler leave, the waiter comes)

（莫尼卡和钱德勒离开，服务员走来）

Waiter

I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.

希望你的朋友能回来。

Joey

Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, huh. (To waitstaff) You boys are about to see something really special.

不回来了，就我一个。（所有菜上桌）六人餐我一个人吃。（对服务员说）你们要见证奇迹了。

Waiter

How was everything, sir?

吃得怎么样？

Joey

Excellent. The shrew in particular was exquisite .

超棒，尤其是那道泼妇，太美味了。

Waiter

Well, I hope you've got some room left.

希望你还有胃口。

Waiters

(with birthday cake, singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ...

（端着生日蛋糕，唱）祝你生日快乐，祝你生日快乐，亲爱的……

Joey

Joey! Joey.

乔伊！

Waiters

... Joey, happy birthday to you.

乔伊，生日快乐。

Joey

This is the best birthday ever.

这是我过得最棒的生日。

End

结束