The One With The Sharks

Phoebe comes in.

菲比走进来。

Phoebe

Oh hey Ross, oh I'm so glad someone's here. Could you zip me up?

哦嘿罗斯，太好了有人在这儿。能帮我拉一下拉链吗？

Ross

Sure.

当然。

Phoebe

Thank you. Can you believe no one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?.

谢谢。你敢信从我家到这儿，居然没人主动帮我拉一下拉链？

Ross

People. (Shakes his head.) So why you all dressed up?

什么世道。（摇摇头）你怎么穿得这么隆重？

Phoebe

Oh umm. Mike's picking me up for a date.

哦嗯。迈克来接我去约会。

Ross

Oh yea? Now um, how is that going, is it getting serious?

哦是吗？那进展怎么样，认真了吗？

Phoebe

Oh I dunno, I dunno, you know I mean, I like him but am I ready to take my grade-A loins off the meat market?

我不知道，不知道，我的意思是我喜欢他，但我准备好把我的甲级小腰肉从肉市撤下了吗？

Ross

You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude, it's so healthy. I'm always like, is this moving to fast? Is this moving to slow? Where's this going?

我真佩服你约会的态度，特别健康。我总是纠结，是不是进展太快了？太慢了？这关系会走向哪里？

Phoebe

Yeah, you know, you are a bit of a drama queen.

是啊，你有点小题大做。

Ross

But you, you're so much better off. You just go from guy to guy having fun and never worrying that it terms into anything serious.

但你就好多了。你换着人玩，从不担心关系会变得认真。

Phoebe

I wouldn't say never, you know. There's that guy ... well what about...OK well there's gotta be someone.

也不是从不，你懂的。有过一个人……嗯……好吧总会有那么一个人的。

Ross

There isn't. That's what I'm saying.

没有，我就是这个意思。

Phoebe

Oh my God, you're right!

天呐，你说得对！

Ross

I know, and yet here you are, all ready for the next date.

是啊，可你现在又准备好下一场约会了。

Phoebe

I can't believe I never realized this before. I'm in my 30s and never been in a long-term relationship! Oh my God! (Starts crying.) What's wrong with me?

我居然从没意识到这点。我三十多岁了，从没谈过一段长期的恋爱！天呐！（开始哭）我到底怎么了？

Ross

No, no, no there's nothing wrong with you. I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.

别别别，你没什么问题。反正我觉得你也不是那种想结婚的人。

Phoebe

I wanna get married! (Grabs a tissue.)

我想结婚！（抽了张纸巾）

Ross

Please don't cry because of me, Pheebs. I don't know what I'm talking about. I've been divorced three times!

菲比，别因为我哭。我胡说的，我都离三次婚了！

Phoebe

At least you've been married! Oh my God! I wanna trade lives with Ross! (Cries.)

至少你结过婚！天呐！我真想和你换人生！（哭）

Mike (Paul Rudd) enters.

迈克（保罗·路德饰）走进来。

Mike

Phoebe, what's wrong?

菲比，怎么了？

Phoebe

Nothing, I'm excited about our date. Mike, this is Ross Geller. Ross, this is Mike Haaaaa... (Cries again.)

没事，我为我们的约会超开心。迈克，这是罗斯·盖勒。罗斯，这是迈克·哈……（又哭）

Ross

I'm sorry I didn't catch...

抱歉我没听清……

Mike

It's Mike Hanagen.

我是迈克·哈纳根。

Ross

Oh, Ross Geller.

哦，罗斯·盖勒。

Mike

(To Phoebe) Hey, so are you sure you're ready to go?

（对菲比）嘿，你确定可以走了吗？

Phoebe

Uh huh. (To Ross) How do I look? (Her face is a mess from crying.)

嗯。（对罗斯）我看起来怎么样？（哭花了脸）

Ross

Do you have a compact in your purse?

包里有补妆盒吗？

Phoebe

No.

没有。

Ross

You look great.

你超好看。

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Monica

Hey Joey.

嘿乔伊。

Joey

Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?

嘿，那个女孩不转身，我看不出她好不好看，你觉得呢？

Monica

Joey, I am not going to objectify woman with you! (Looks at the woman.) But if her face is as nice as her ass, woah mamma!

乔伊，我才不跟你一起物化女性！（看了眼那个女孩）但要是她的脸和屁股一样好看，哇塞！

Joey

All rright thanks. Oh hey, have you talked to Chandler?

行吧谢谢。哦嘿，你跟钱德勒聊过吗？

Monica

Yeah, he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend.

聊过，他这周末得留在塔尔萨。

Joey

How come?

为什么？

Monica

He has to work, there's some rush on the big ... ah damn it, one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.

他要工作，有个大项目赶进度……唉算了，哪天他聊工作我真得认真听听了。

Joey

Oh. Why don't you fly out there and surprise him?

哦。你干嘛不飞过去给他个惊喜？

Monica

Maybe I will go....Yeah, we'll have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa Romana.

说不定真去……对，我们去塔尔萨罗马纳酒店过二次蜜月。

Joey

Oh and you know what you should bring? The black see-through teddy with the attached garters.

哦你知道该带什么吗？那件黑色透视吊带睡裙，还带吊袜带的。

Monica

How do you know I have one of those?

你怎么知道我有那件？

Joey

Didn't till just now.

刚猜的。

(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)

（莫妮卡走到后面，乔伊看向那个女孩）

Joey

Hot not hot. (She turns around) Hot!

好看不好看。（女孩转过身）好看！

Hayley

Excuse me?

你说什么？

Joey

I said I think you're hot and now I'm embarrassed.

我说你长得好看，现在我好尴尬。

Hayley

Oh I thought you said "Hi."

哦我还以为你说“嗨”呢。

Joey

That would've been better, I'll try that. Hi, I'm Joey.

那样就好了，我试试。嗨，我是乔伊。

Hayley

I'm Hayley.

我是海莉。

Joey

Look, I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses...

其实我一般不跟咖啡馆里认识的女孩约会……

Gunther

Ha!

哈！

Joey

(To Gunther.) Gesundheit!

（对冈瑟）祝你健康！

Hayley

I would love to go out with you.

我很乐意跟你约会。

Joey

Really, great, did I actually ask you?

真的？太好了，我刚刚真的约你了吗？

Hayley

No, that's just where you were going. I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this a lot.

没有，我猜你正要开口。我就帮你一把，你看着不像经常干这事的人。

Gunther

Ha!

哈！

Joey

(To Gunther.) Seriously Gunther, you should see someone about that cold. If it gets much worse you could DIE! (Gunther looks scared.)

（对冈瑟）说真的冈瑟，你感冒该去看看了。再严重一点你会没命的！（冈瑟露出害怕的表情）

Ross

So how'd the date go?

约会怎么样？

Phoebe

Well, it was awful! Every time I thought about what you said, I started crying.

糟透了！一想到你说的话我就哭。

Ross

So he hasn't called?

那他没打电话来？

Phoebe

Would you call this girl? (Fake crying) Thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing.

换你会打给这种女孩吗？（假哭）谢-谢-你-给-我-美-好-的-晚-上。

Ross

Now I feel terrible, this is all my fault.

我现在好愧疚，都是我的错。

Phoebe

Well, you know what you should feel terrible about? This could have been my serious guy! He was sweet and smart and funny. Do you know how hard it is to meet a guy like that?

你该愧疚的是，他本可能是我认真交往的人！他温柔、聪明又风趣。你知道遇到这种男人有多难吗？

Ross

We are a rare breed.

我们可是稀有物种。

Hayley

What a great dinner.

晚餐太棒了。

Joey

Yeah! And hey, thanks again for letting me have that last piece of cake at the restaurant.

是啊！还有，谢谢你把餐厅最后一块蛋糕让给我。

Hayley

(Laughs) You're welcome again. I'm gonna make some coffee. Can I get you anything?

（笑）不客气。我去煮点咖啡，你要喝点什么吗？

Joey

Do you have any cake?

还有蛋糕吗？

(Hayley laughs, goes into the kitchen.)

（海莉笑着走进厨房）

Joey

(Thinking:) So this is going pretty good. Dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret, huh, we even like the same books. Oh now there's a scary painting. Wait a minute! I think I've been scared by that painting before. You know what, this whole place look familiar! I have definitely been in this apartment! I know I've seen this weird plant before (a cactus and he touch it) ouch! It did that the last time! Oh my God, I've gone out with this girl before! Yeah, we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and...no, we didn't do it here, which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place. (Bends down and the cactus pricks him in the ass) ouch! That's why.

（心想）进展挺顺利啊。晚餐不错，还有不少共同点。（看到一本杂志）《维多利亚的秘密》，我们连喜欢的书都一样。哦这幅画好吓人。等等！我好像被这幅画吓到过。这地方看着好眼熟！我肯定来过这公寓！我记得见过这盆怪植物（伸手碰仙人掌）哎哟！上次它也扎我了！天呐，我以前和这个女孩约会过！对，我们在这沙发上过，还有那把椅子……不对，没在这过，奇怪，这地方明明挺合适的。（弯腰被仙人掌扎到屁股）哎哟！原来如此。

Ross

Hey Mike sorry to just drop by like this, can I come in?

嘿迈克，抱歉突然来访，能进来吗？

Mike

Sure. (He looks confused.) Who are you?

当然。（一脸疑惑）你是谁？

Ross

I'm Ross, Phoebe's friend from the coffeehouse.

我是罗斯，菲比咖啡馆的朋友。

Mike

Oh.

哦。

Ross

Yeah, I really, really need to talk to you about something.

我真的有件事必须跟你说。

Mike

OK, unless... you're not gonna try to get me to join a cult are you?

好，除非……你不是想拉我入邪教吧？

Ross

(laughs) No

（笑）不是。

Mike

Oh, it's just you have that look

哦，你看着有点像。

Ross

Damn super cuts!

可恶的超级剪发！

Mike

What's up? Is Phoebe OK?

怎么了？菲比没事吧？

Ross

Oh no, yeah, no, Phoebe is great, but umm... I'm an idiot. Look, right before you guys went out, I accidentally got her all upset.

没事，她很好，只是……我是个笨蛋。你们约会前，我不小心把她惹生气了。

Mike

That's why she was weird.

难怪她怪怪的。

Ross

Yes, yeah, I said something stupid about her never having had a serious relationship, but you should know she is so much fun, a wonderful person! Please don't blow her off.

对，我说了蠢话，说她从没认真谈过恋爱。但你要知道她超有趣，人超好！别不理她。

Mike

I'm not blowing her off. I actually just got off the phone with her. We're going out tomorrow night. I mean, I hope that's OK with you, stranger from the coffee house.

我没不理她，刚跟她打完电话。我们明晚还要约会。希望你这个咖啡馆来的陌生人没意见。

Ross

Well then, I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.

那我就没必要打扰你，还有之前打扰的另外四个迈克·哈纳根了。

Mike

Hey wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said? Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?

等等等等！你说的是真的？菲比从没认真谈过恋爱？

Ross

Of course she has. If she'd never had a serious relationship, I'd go around broadcasting it like some unstoppable moron.

当然有过。她要是从没认真谈过，我才不会到处说，像个管不住嘴的傻子。

Mike

But you did say it.

可你刚才说了。

Ross

Yes, yes I did. And I will also say what I'm about to say vis-a-vis the following, Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her...super-serious relationship with...Vicrum.

是，我说了。我现在要说的是，菲比自从和……维克勒姆谈过一段超级认真的恋爱后，就没再认真谈过了。

Mike

Vicrum?

维克勒姆？

Ross

What, that's a real name!

怎么了，这名字真的存在！

Chandler

(Singing) Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain...STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o'clock, maybe I'll hit the gym. (Sits down) Who am I kidding? Pay-per-view porn!

（唱歌）俄克拉荷马，风儿拂过平原……别唱了！为什么不把我派去德克萨斯？七点了，要不健个身？（坐下）骗谁呢？付费色情频道走起！

Monica enters.

莫妮卡走进来。

Chandler

Do not disturb! Do not disturb! (Changes channels.) Monica!

别打扰！别打扰！（换台）莫妮卡！

Monica

Is everything all right?

没事吧？

Chandler

Everything's great, just watching some regular television there, what a pleasant surprise. (She hugs him, She knows he was masturbating, but he has changed the channel to a nature program about sharks.)

没事，就看会儿普通电视，惊喜。（莫妮卡抱他，她知道他刚在自慰，但他换成了鲨鱼自然纪录片）

Monica

I'm gonna go freshen up, OK?

我去洗漱一下，好吗？

Chandler

OK honey.... (To himself)That was close.

好宝贝……（心想）好险。

Cut to Rachel; phone rings.

切到瑞秋，电话响了。

Rachel

Hello.

喂。

Monica

Hey Rach, its me, OK, I just got to Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.

嘿瑞秋，是我。我刚到钱德勒房间，撞见他在自慰。

Rachel

Oh, that couldn't have been pretty. But you know, guys do that.

哦，画面肯定不好看。但男人都这样。

Monica

Yeah well, the weird part is... he was getting off to a shark attack show!

怪就怪在……他看鲨鱼攻击的片子来着！

Rachel

Noooooo!

不会吧！

Monica

Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!

真的！钱德勒看鲨鱼色情片！

Rachel

Well, watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?

看鲨鱼？你确定他是在干那个？

Monica

Do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that? Believe me, I know what he was doing.

我见过他多少次那样慌慌张张的？相信我，我知道他在干嘛。

Rachel

Man, sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.

天呐，鲨鱼。我就知道他有点怪。但你说过无论如何都爱他。

Monica

Which means if he gets like a disease or kills someone. Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws!

那是指他生病或者杀人。不是指他看《大白鲨》找乐子！

Rachel

Ah! You know what honey? Guys are just different. They like things that we can't understand. You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.

唉！亲爱的，男人就是不一样。他们喜欢的东西我们不懂。我以前约会过一个男的，想假装自己是考古学家，我是他从冰里解冻的调皮穴居女人。

Monica

Eww, are you talking about my bother?

呕，你说的是我哥吧？

Rachel

Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I.

嗯，没藏住。

Joey

(Enters) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

Joey

Listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date, I realized I already slept with her!

跟你们说……我昨晚约会一个女孩，约会到一半，发现我早就和她上过床了！

(Monica makes a strange face and sits down)

（莫妮卡一脸怪表情坐下）

Rachel

So basically, you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.

说白了，你睡遍了纽约的女人，现在开始第二轮了。

Joey

Well that's not even the weird part. I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.

还不是最怪的。她好像不记得和我上过床了。

Monica

But you don't remember sleeping with her.

可你也不记得和她上过床啊。

Joey

Yeah, but she should remember sleeping with me! I am very memorable, you guys know.

是啊，但她该记得我啊！我这么让人印象深刻，你们知道的。

Rachel

What, how do we know, we never slept with you.

我们怎么知道，又没跟你睡过。

Joey

And who's fault is that?

那怪谁？

Monica

What's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night.

多大点事，你忘了她也忘了，说不定你那晚状态不好。

Joey

Hey! I never have an off night, OK, although sometimes when I'm a little bloated I don't feel very sexy, but even then I'm better than most!

喂！我从来没有状态不好的时候！好吧，偶尔胀气会觉得自己不够性感，但就算那样也比大多数人强！

Monica

Honey, why don't you just let it go and ask her out again?

亲爱的，别纠结了，再约她一次呗。

Rachel

Yeah, you're both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with! You're made for each other.

就是，你们俩都这么随便，连睡过谁都记不清！天生一对。

Joey

Interesting. All right, I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for chips) Oh salt, bloaty!

有点道理。行，我再约她一次，克服一下。（伸手拿薯片）哦咸的，会胀气！

Monica

Joey, Joey.

乔伊，乔伊。

Joey

What?

怎么？

Monica

You don't think sharks are sexy do you?

你不会觉得鲨鱼很性感吧？

Joey

No. (Pause) Wait a minute, what was the little mermaid?

不会。（停顿）等等，小美人鱼算什么？

Phoebe

It's open.

门开着。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey! Mike called, we're going out again! Yay yay! (She dances)

嘿！迈克打电话了，我们又要约会啦！耶耶！（跳舞）

Ross

Yay! Quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.

耶！说个事，我去找迈克聊了。

Phoebe

What? Wha-wha-what did you do, Ross!

什么？你干什么了罗斯！

Ross

Oh boy, you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me, blah blah blah, and I ended up telling him ...that....

哎呀，你居然生气了。我去跟他说你有多好，可你懂我，说着说着就……最后跟他说了……那个……

Phoebe

What!

说了什么！

Ross

Umm... that you had a six-year-long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.

嗯……说你和一个叫维克勒姆的男人谈过六年恋爱。

Phoebe

What? Why!

什么？为什么！

Ross

Well, he seemed too bummed out that you'd never been in a serious relationship.

他听说你从没认真谈过恋爱，太失落了。

Phoebe

(Walks towards Ross) If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend I swear to Lucifer a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now!

（走向罗斯）要不是你刚和我最好的朋友生了孩子，我发誓，疯狗现在就该啃掉你的小弟弟！

Ross

Well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum. He's a kite designer! And he used to date Oprah!

菲比，你了解维克勒姆就不气了。他是风筝设计师！还和奥普拉约会过！

Phoebe

I'm not going along with some lie you made, Ross. No I'm just gonna be honest with him.

我不会帮你圆谎的罗斯。我要跟他说实话。

Ross

Good, yeah, just be honest with him.

好，对，跟他说实话。

Phoebe

Yeah, I've nothing to be ashamed of. OK, so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. OK, I haven't had a real boyfriend. You know, if he can't handle that, he can leave. Which he will, and that's OK. So I'll just be alone forever, you know, alright, I'll be... it'll be fine, it'll be fine. I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians.

是啊，我没什么好羞愧的。我从没谈过超过一个月的恋爱，从没正经交过男朋友。他接受不了就走，肯定会走，没事。我就一辈子单身好了，没事，挺好。我就和寡妇、女同性恋一起徒步旅行。

(Knock on door.)

（敲门声）

Ross

I'll get it.

我去开。

Phoebe

OK.

好。

Mike

(To Ross.) You know, I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there. Phoebe, are you OK?

（对罗斯）我都想不起来哪次开门你不在。菲比，你还好吗？

Phoebe

Uh huh yeah. There's just something umm, there's something you should know.... Vicrum just called.

嗯。有件事……你该知道……维克勒姆刚打电话来了。

Hayley

So it was kind of a shock. After 25 years of marriage, my parents, a perfect couple, getting divorced. I kinda took it the hardest 'cause I was the youngest.

挺意外的。我爸妈是模范夫妻，结婚25年居然离婚了。我最难过，因为我是最小的。

Joey

Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?

嗯，是啊。你怎么会不记得我？

Hayley

What?

什么？

Joey

How could you not remember that we slept together?

你怎么会不记得我们上过床？

Hayley

What! When?

什么！什么时候？

Joey

I dunno!

我也不知道！

Hayley

I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you.

我真的、真的记得和你上过床。

Joey

Come on, come on, search your brain. All right. it was ... a certain amount of time ago, I was here, you were here, we had sex (Pointing) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?

拜托，好好想想。就是……一段时间前，我在这，你在这，我们做了（指）这、这、这，不是那。想起来没？

Hayley

No, it's not ringing any bells.

完全没印象。

Joey

My God, woman! How many people do you have to have been with not to remember any of this?

天呐，你到底跟多少人睡过，才会一点都不记得？

Hayley's roommate

(Enters) Hey Hayley, you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey!

（走进来）嘿海莉，门把手该修了。乔伊！

Joey

Oooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me. Hey! I still got it. (To Hayley) So we're good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.

哦！我跟你睡过！你明显记得我。嘿！魅力还在。（对海莉）没事了。（海莉瞪他）我自己走了。

Phoebe

...and I said Vicrum, you can't just call every time you get lonely, you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.

……我说维克勒姆，你不能一寂寞就打电话。你和瑞秋睡过，就没这资格了。

Mike

But Rachel I thought she just had a baby with Ross.

瑞秋不是刚和罗斯生了孩子吗？

Phoebe

Yeah well (pause) yeah you know, Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.

是啊（停顿）艾玛出生证写着盖勒，但她眼睛看着像穆克吉。

Mike

That is so wrong and on top of that he's a glue sniffer.

太离谱了，而且他还吸胶水。

Phoebe

I know but he calls and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth-talking free-lance kite designer.

我知道，但他一打电话我就心软。那混蛋是油嘴滑舌的自由风筝设计师。

Mike

I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but...maybe me.

我觉得有更适合你的人（停顿）不是说我……可能是我。

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Mike

And you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me. Although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah ah anyway, I just think I can make you happy.

跟我在一起不用担心吸胶水。虽然偶尔会闻马克笔，但总之，我能让你开心。

Phoebe

OK I can't do this.

我不能再骗你了。

Mike

What's wrong?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so...if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eyes, make it less awkward (She sits, eyes closed. Mike kisses her.) You kissed me.

没有维克勒姆，是罗斯编的。我从没谈过长期恋爱，没和男人同居过，连纪念日都没过过……你要是觉得太怪想走，我完全理解。我闭上眼睛，不那么尴尬（坐下闭眼，迈克吻她）你吻我了。

Mike

Uh huh.

嗯。

Phoebe

So you don't think I'm a total freak

你不觉得我是个怪胎？

Mike

No. Well look, can I think you're weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you?

不。我可以觉得你有点怪，又觉得你说实话很酷，还想吻你吗？

Phoebe

I guess so, can I, can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers?

可以。我可以觉得你吻我很酷，还想再吻你，同时有点担心马克笔的事吗？

Mike

Definitely

当然。

Ross

(On phone, in accent) This is Vicrum.

（打电话，用口音）我是维克勒姆。

Chandler

Hi honey I'm home!

宝贝我回来了！

Monica

Hi, how was your flight? (She hugs him)

嗨，航班顺利吗？（抱他）

Chandler

Oh it was great.

超顺利。

Monica

(While putting in video tape.) Here why don't you sit down, get yourself comfortable because I have a little surprise for you!

（放录像带）坐下放松，给你个小惊喜！

Chandler

Well, well, well it must be five in Tulsa because it's six o clock in NYC!

纽约六点，塔尔萨肯定五点了！

Monica

OK. This is how much I love you. (Plays tape.)

看我多爱你。（播放录像）

Chandler

Honey, why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around?

宝贝，我怎么在看一群鲨鱼游来游去？

Monica

Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier?

不好看吗？要不要快进到更凶猛的片段？

Chandler

No, I'm not quite sure you got the right movie, that's all.

不是，你是不是放错片子了。

Monica

Oh well, this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?

录像带店只有这个，还有《鳄鱼杀手》。你就只喜欢鲨鱼吗？

Chandler

Does what always have to be sharks?

什么只喜欢鲨鱼？

Monica

Honey, look, we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?

亲爱的，我们换别的，我去浴缸里扑腾给你看？

Chandler

What's going on?

到底怎么了？

Monica

Sweetie it's OK, I still love you, let me be a part of this.

没事，我还是爱你，我陪你一起。

Chandler

Let ME be a part of this!

是我陪你！

Monica

I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. Angry sharks turn you on!

我看到你在塔尔萨干嘛了。愤怒的鲨鱼让你兴奋！

Chandler

No they don't

才没有。

Monica

Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat?

那你为什么一边看一边自慰？

Chandler

Oh my God! When you came in, I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn!

天呐！你进来时我换台了，我本来在看普通色情片！

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Yeah, just some good old-fashioned girl-on-girl American action.

对，就是经典的美国女女动作片。

Monica

I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!

我太开心了！

Chandler

You are an amazing wife. No really, you're amazing! You were actually gonna do this for me, I mean, where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that?

你真是完美的妻子，真的太棒了！你居然愿意为我这么做，哪来的包容心？

Monica

I'm very, very drunk right now.

我现在喝得烂醉。

(They hug.)

（两人拥抱）

Joey

(Looks at a girl walking in.) See, ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken... did I sleep with her? did I not sleep with her?

（看向走进来的女孩）平时我肯定上去搭讪，但我现在没信心……我和她睡过吗？没有吗？

Phoebe

You know, maybe this is a wake-up call, about your whole dating attitude. You're in your 30's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long-term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience, never even worrying that it doesn't turn into anything serious.

或许这是个提醒，你约会的态度有问题。三十多岁了，从没认真谈过恋爱，换了一个又一个女人，全是无意义的经历，从不担心关系变认真。

Joey

You're right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.

说得对！我超爱我的生活！（起身要去搭讪，又转身坐下）我好像真和她睡过。

End

结束