The One With The Pediatrician

(Ross and Rachel enter)

（罗斯和瑞秋走进来）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?

嘿！到底有什么大事你让我们着急忙慌地来这？

Chandler

Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa, so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.

好吧，是这样。公司让我去塔尔萨做分公司的头儿，所以星期一我就正式调走了。

Ross

Oh my God!

哦，天哪！

Phoebe

What?!

什么？！

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Ross

Monday?!

星期一？

Joey

How long do you have to go for?

你得呆多久呢？

Chandler

They said it could be up to a year.

他们说怎么也得一年。

Joey

A year?!

一年？！

Rachel

(To Monica) Do you have to go?

（对莫妮卡）你也得走吗？

Monica

I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)

我也得走，不是吗？就因为这个蠢东西。

Chandler

There is nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh?

听起来可一点也不像爱妻的支持，是吧？

Joey

Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.

等一下，你不能去塔尔萨。你可能忘了，我们已经买到下礼拜喷气队比赛的票了。

Chandler

I'm sorry buddy, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.

对不起兄弟，但我觉得我不能去了。

Joey

We were gonna go see the Jets!

我们得去看喷气队！

Ross

You can't go, I mean you're the glue that holds this group together!

你不能走，我意思是你就像我们这帮人的黏合剂！

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Ross

Not you.

不是你。

Joey

I can't believe you guys are moving.

我真不能相信你们要搬了。

Phoebe

I call their apartment!!!

我要他们的公寓！！！

Everyone

No!!! Ah!! Ahh!!!

不！！！

INTRO

片头

SCENE

Central Perk

中央珀克咖啡馆

Joey

Here you are (Hands Rachel a cup of coffee)

给你（递给瑞秋一杯咖啡）

Rachel

Thank you Joey. You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.

谢谢你乔伊。你知道吗？我都不确定我能不能喝咖啡因。

Ross

I went through this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.

我和本还有卡罗尔经历过这些。一杯咖啡不会影响你的奶。

Rachel

Yeah. Just to be sure I'm gonna call Dr. Wiener.

好吧，只是确定一下，我要打电话给维纳医生。

Joey

(Laughs)

（笑）

Rachel

Every time?

每次都这样？

Joey

Uhuh.

嗯哼。

Ross

Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.

瑞秋，你不用每遇见点小事就打电话，好吗？相信我，我懂这些。

Rachel

All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)

好吧，我相信你。（继续拨号）

Ross

Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...

瑞秋，我能看见你拨号！我不明白为什么……

Rachel

I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)

嘘～我在通电话！（打电话）维纳医生？（罗斯和瑞秋走开）

Joey

(Laughs)

（笑）

Phoebe

It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.

看着罗斯和瑞秋带着个孩子可真奇怪。太像成年人的生活了。

Joey

I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)

我知道，是啊。我觉得我们都在成熟。叫维纳的人，天哪，真逗死我了。（笑）

Phoebe

Look at you all grown up.

看看你呀，真是成熟了。

Joey

Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as... Nah, she's gotta be hot.

实际上你知道吗？我是的。瑞秋那件事让我意识到，可能我已经能接受认真的感情了。你知道吗？像我想结识善良、成熟、有责任感的女士。而且外表不是重要的像……不，她必须得性感。

Phoebe

You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!

你知道，我可能认识这样的人。嘿，你给我介绍一个，然后我们搞个四人约会怎么样！

Joey

I can do that, yeah. How is Friday?

行啊，是啊。星期五怎么样？

Phoebe

Done. Oh good, really?

说定了。哦太好了，真的？

Joey

Yeah!

是啊！

Phoebe

Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.

让我找找！（打开地址簿）哦，你知道谁挺好的？桑迪·普哈克。

Joey

(Laughs) Poophack... (Laughs)

（笑）普哈克……（笑）

Phoebe

Yeah... All right, well that rules out Lana Titweiller

是啊……好吧，看来也要淘汰拉娜·蒂特维勒。

Joey

(Laughs)

（笑）

SCENE

Chandler and Monica's apartment

钱德勒和莫妮卡的公寓

Chandler

(Enters) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

I've got good news!

我有个好消息！

Monica

You got out of the whole Tulsa thing?

你解决塔尔萨的事了？

Chandler

Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.

好吧，我有个消息。你不用搬去塔尔萨。你可以呆在这不用辞职。

Monica

It's great! How?

太棒了！怎么回事？

Chandler

Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.

老板和我协调了一下，我只要一周在塔尔萨呆四天，另外三天我就能和你在一起。

Monica

So you're gonna be gone four days a week? (Thinks about it.) No.

那么说你一周要有四天不在家？不行。

Chandler

I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that?

对不起，你是不是习惯说不？

Monica

No. I can't be away from you for that long.

不，我不能离开你那么久。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Monica

Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.

是啊，你是我老公。我不要一年的208天都和你分隔两地。

Chandler

That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.

算得可真快！我们可以在塔尔萨雇你。

Monica

Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.

亲爱的，谢谢你为我想办法，但如果你要去塔尔萨，我要跟你一起去。

Chandler

Hey, you said that without gagging!

嘿，你说这些话的时候没作呕！

Monica

I know! (They high-five.)

我知道！（他们击掌）

SCENE

Ross and Rachel's apartment

罗斯和瑞秋的公寓

Rachel

(On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)

（打电话）什么？是吗？好吧，也去你的！（挂断）

Ross

(Enters from his bedroom) Who the hell was that?!

（从卧室走出）到底是谁呀？！

Rachel

Dr. Wiener.

维纳医生。

Ross

Rach, you can't call people at three in the morning.

瑞秋，你不能在凌晨三点给别人打电话。

Rachel

Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!

哦你知道吗，你和他妻子说的一模一样！

Ross

Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?

艾玛有什么不对吗？

Rachel

Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane!

是的，当然有！好吗？我可没错乱！

Ross

Well, what was it?

那么，怎么了？

Rachel

Hiccups.

打嗝。

Ross

Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.

瑞秋，我告诉你了，你不能每次有点小事就给他打电话。

Rachel

Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?

是啊，我也不能了。他炒了我们！我们怎么办？我们得找个儿医。等等，莫妮卡说你们俩小时候，你很喜欢你的医生。他叫什么？

Ross

Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.

盖特曼医生？是啊我知道，我认为不是好主意。事实上，我想他死了。

Rachel

Argh! Why does everything happen to me?!

啊！为什么倒霉的总是我？！

Ross

Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.

瑞秋，我保证明天第一件事就是找个新医生，我还得早起，而且我觉得有些不舒服。

Rachel

What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.

什么？你什么意思，你不舒服？你得什么病了？风疹吗？别靠近艾玛，她还没打疫苗呢。

Ross

You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)

你知道吗？这么一想，感觉还真的像风疹的样子！（走回房间）

Rachel

(Grabs the phone and starts dialing) (On phone) (In a high pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener (In a low pitch voice) Wiener, Wiener!!!

（抓起电话开始拨号）（打电话）（高音）维纳，维纳（低音）维纳，维纳！！

Ross

(Comes back into the living room) Rachel!!!

（回到客厅）瑞秋！！！

Rachel

Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!

好啊！现在他可知道是我了！

SCENE

Joey's apartment

乔伊的公寓

Phoebe

(Enters) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

So how is this for our big double date tonight? (She is all dressed up)

我这身打扮去我们的四人约会怎么样？（她打扮好了）

Joey

(Realizes that he has forgotten all about the double date) Oh my God!

（意识到他完全忘了四人约会）哦，天哪！

Phoebe

Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.

哦，太好了！我就想要这样的反应。

Joey

Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?

是啊，那么你找到我的那个了。你没忘吧？

Phoebe

Of course not! And you're gonna love Mary Ellen. She's really smart and cute and funny, and I can't tell you how I know this, but she's not opposed to threesomes. So tell me some about my guy.

当然没！你一定会喜欢玛丽·埃伦的。她真的很聪明、可爱又有趣。我不会告诉你我怎么知道的，但她不反对三人作爱。好吧，说点关于我的那个的情况。

Joey

No.

不。

Phoebe

Come on, give me something. What's his name?

说嘛，说一点。他叫什么？

Joey

Mike.

迈克。

Phoebe

Mike? Okay! What's his last name?

迈克？好吧！姓什么？

Joey

Damnit! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore!?

该死的！现在约会都不讲神秘了吗！？

Phoebe

All right, we'll see you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.

好吧，我们几小时后在饭店见你和迈克。

Joey and Phoebe

(Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)

（即兴道别）（菲比离开）

Joey

Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!

为什么我要说迈克？我不认识叫迈克的！我为什么不能说……（翻地址簿）这里根本就没男的！

SCENE

Chandler and Monica's apartment

钱德勒和莫妮卡的公寓

Rachel

It's impossible to find a good doctor. I mean, how do you know the good ones from the ones who are gonna push their penis against your knee?

根本不可能找到好医生。我的意思是，你怎么从一个总想把xx顶到你膝盖上的医生那认识其他好的医生呢？

Monica

Excuse me?

什么？

Chandler

I know what she's talking about.

我知道她在说什么。

Rachel

We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.

我们得找个新儿医。罗斯昨晚病了，我想艾玛可能被传染了。

Monica

Why don't you go see Dr. Gettleman?

为什么不去找盖特曼医生？

Rachel

Ross said he died.

罗斯说他死了。

Monica

He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.

他才没有。上礼拜我看见他女儿。说他很好。相反她，失败的拉皮手术。

Rachel

Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.

哦，太好了！那么我就带艾玛去他那。我奇怪为什么罗斯说他死了。

Monica

Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.

哦，可能那医生在他小时候的心理治疗时把他弄糊涂了。

Chandler

He saw a therapist?

他做心理治疗？

Monica

Yeah, he used to have this recurring nightmare, just really freaked him out.

是，他曾反复做一个噩梦，实在把他吓坏了。

Rachel

Why? What was it?

为什么？什么梦？

Monica

That I was going to eat him.

就是我要吃了他。

SCENE

Central Perk

中央珀克咖啡馆

(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)

（乔伊走进来四处张望。他在为菲比找一个迈克）

Joey

MIKE!!!

迈克！！！

Mike

Yeah?

啊？

Joey

(Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)

（打量他）好吧！（走到他桌边和他坐下）

SCENE

Restaurant

饭店

Mike

I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.

我得告诉你，我不能相信我会答应干这事。尽管我刚结束一场九年的感情，我想我应该开通点，找些刺激的……

Joey

Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.

一切都会好的。一切都听我的，好吗？你只要装作迈克……

Mike

I am Mike.

我就是迈克。

Joey

Atta boy!

好小子！

(Phoebe and Mary Ellen enter.)

（菲比和玛丽·埃伦走进来）

Joey

Okay, look...

好吧，听着……

Everyone

(Ad-lib hellos)

（即兴打招呼）

Phoebe

Joey, this is Mary Ellen Jenkins. So, Mike, how do you and Joey know each other anyway?

乔伊，这是玛丽·埃伦·詹金斯。那么，迈克，你怎么和乔伊认识的？

Mike

How do I and Joey know each other? Wow, if I had a nickel for every time somebody has asked me that.

我怎么和乔伊认识的？哇，怎么每个人都问我这个问题。

Joey

(Laughs) From school.

（笑）在学校。

Mike

Yeah, we met in college. (Off Joey's look) I mean, high school.

对，我们在大学认识的。（看到乔伊的眼神）我是说，高中。

Phoebe

Wow, you guys go way back then. So what are you up to these days?

哇，那你们认识很久了。那你最近都在干吗？

Mike

Well, I'm a lawyer.

嗯，我是个律师。

Joey

Mike, 'attorney at law'!

迈克，“大律师”！

Mike

Actually, I just gave up my practice.

事实上，我刚放弃了这行。

Joey

What? That's the kinda thing you usually run by me.

什么？你也总是告诉我这些。

Mike

I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.

我一直想搞专业钢琴，我意识到如果我现在不开始，我就永远不会了。

Phoebe

Wow, that's great! I liked that better than the law thing, so...

哇，太棒了！比起法律那个我更喜欢这个，所以……

Joey

Which is why I waited until now to introduce you to Mike.

所以直到现在我才向你介绍迈克。

Mary Ellen

I thought you thought he was still a lawyer.

我以为你以为他是律师。

Joey

No, no, that's not what I meant. Let's get you a cocktail.

不，不，我不是那意思。给你点个鸡尾酒吧。

SCENE

Chandler and Monica's apartment

钱德勒和莫妮卡的公寓

(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)

（莫妮卡走进来。钱德勒在厨房里用笔记本电脑）

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

What are you doing?

干什么呢？

Chandler

Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.

找找塔尔萨有没有合适你的餐馆工作。

Monica

That's so sweet. Find anything?

你太好了。找到什么了？

Chandler

Slim Pickings.

Slim Pickings。

Monica

Nothing, huh?

没有，是吧？

Chandler

No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.

不，“Slim Pickings”，是家烤肉馆。他们在找厨师。实际上说“厨师”有点不确切了。他们想找人铲饲料。

Monica

'Slim Pickings'... That is so cheesy.

“Slim Pickings”……这名太粗陋了。

Chandler

'So Cheesy' also has an opening.

“So Cheesy”也在招人。

Monica

Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.

亲爱的，没关系。实际上我认识个人，南希，她是个餐馆业猎头。可能她能知道些。

Chandler

Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.

你知道你要陪我去我有多感动。等我们到了塔尔萨我要带你去“Slim Pickings”大吃一顿。“So Cheesy”？“Whole Hog”？想在塔尔萨保持清洁可挺难的。

Monica

(On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated... Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo 'I'll take it!'

（打电话）嗨，南希。嗨，我是莫妮卡·盖勒。我很好。听着，我想在塔尔萨找份工作。是的，我丈夫被调去了。因为我爱他！不，我不想在纽约找工作。贾沃在招人？哦天哪！他亲自找我？哦天哪！哦哇，这太受宠若惊了，但是我要去塔尔萨。是啊，那么如果你能告诉贾沃“我去干！”

SCENE

Pediatrician's office

儿科医生诊所

Rachel

Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.

嗨，我叫瑞秋·格林，我为艾玛做了预约。

Receptionist

Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.

盖特曼医生马上要看完一个病人，他一会就出来了。

Dr. Gettleman

(To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.

（对病人）我想你只是感冒，绝对不是链球菌感染。

Ross

Thanks doctor.

谢谢医生。

Dr. Gettleman

Would you like a lollypop?

你想要个棒棒糖吗？

Ross

You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!

还用问吗？！（从罐子里抓了一个棒棒糖）（看到瑞秋）（对瑞秋）他还活着呢！

SCENE

Restaurant

饭店

Phoebe

You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.

你知道吗，这真是让人惊讶，你和乔伊已经认识那么久了，但我却从没听说过你。

Joey

Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.

是，因为我们之间有点过节。迈克开车撞了我妈。

Mike

No, I didn't.

不，我没有。

Joey

That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!

没关系迈克，我已经原谅你了。现在我们又是朋友了，多好啊！

Mary Ellen

Wait, is your mom okay?

等等，你妈没事吧？

Joey

Please, we're trying to have a conversation. (Pushes the wine glass closer to Mary Ellen.)

拜托，我们还在说话呢。（把酒杯推向玛丽·埃伦）

Mary Ellen

Wow, you're a lot nicer on 'Days of Our Lives'.

哇，你在“光辉岁月”里可和蔼多了。

Mike

'Days of Our Lives'! That's why you look so familiar!

“光辉岁月”！我说你怎么那么面熟！

Phoebe

What?!

什么？！

Mike

What?!

什么？！

Joey

What?!

什么？！

Phoebe

Do you not know each other?

你们不认识对方吗？

Joey

(Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!

（笑）当然认识！迈克就是在玩以前在高中时常玩的游戏。对，我们假装不认识对方。我们还玩很多种游戏。（对迈克）嘿，记不记得有个是因为你不酷，我给你一电炮？！

Phoebe

Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?

迈克，我问你个问题。乔伊有几个妹妹？

Mike

(Joey holds up six fingers) Six!

（乔伊伸出六根手指）六个！

Joey

What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!

你干什么呐？我说了七个！（伸出六根手指）（意识到错误）啊！！！

Phoebe

Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?

乔伊，你为什么给我介绍个陌生人？

Joey

Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.

因为我忘了，真抱歉。

Mike

I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.

我也很抱歉。就是再澄清一下，我没用车撞他妈。

Phoebe

(To Joey) You are unbelievable! I spent so much time finding the perfect girl for you, you know. Mary Ellen is really smart and cute and loose.

（对乔伊）你真是够戗！我用了那么长时间找了个完美的姑娘给你，你知道吗。玛丽·埃伦真是又聪明又可爱又轻浮。

Mary Ellen

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!

你在开谁的玩笑呢？（对乔伊）你就随便从街上找了个人给我？哦天哪！这真是难堪！

Joey

Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!

听着菲比，真对不起！嘿，如果你不喜欢这家伙，我给你找个更好的。（四处张望）迈克！！迈克！！

Phoebe

I'm out of here (She leaves)

我走了（她离开）

Mike

It was nice meeting you!

认识你很高兴！

Joey

(To Mary Ellen) You're leaving too?

（对玛丽·埃伦）你也走吗？

Mary Ellen

I'll stay if you can tell me my name.

如果你能说出我名字我就留下。

Joey

Good night!

再见！

SCENE

Chandler and Monica's apartment

钱德勒和莫妮卡的公寓

Chandler

Honey, we're leaving tomorrow you've still got a lot of packing to do.

亲爱的，我们明天就走了，你还有挺多行李要打呢。

Monica

You're right. (Pause) Maybe I shouldn't go.

你说的对。（停顿）也许我不该走。

Chandler

What?

什么？

Monica

So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo. It's just a little outside of Tulsa.

南希说有个工作给我，是个特棒的饭店，贾沃。只是离塔尔萨远了一点。

Chandler

How far outside?

有多远？

Monica

Manhattan.

曼哈顿。

Chandler

And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.

那你打算去工作？（停顿）那么你先前说和我在一起比任何工作都重要，但我想现在是旧工作，（举起一只手）我，（举起另一只手）新工作。

Monica

I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

我会想念这双手的！好吧我知道这样说不过去，但是哦天哪钱德勒，这可是千载难逢的机会呀。

Chandler

What happened to 'you can't live without me four days a week'?

你那“不能一周四天和我分开”怎么了？

Monica

Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.

如果你再想想，我意思是四天并不那么长。我周一在你工作前看见你，然后我又在周四你回来时看见你。我总是在周二工作到很晚，所以你再想想，实际上只有一天。而且，如果我们连一天都挺不住，那可真有问题了朋友。

Chandler

I think you should take the job.

我想你该接受这工作。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.

是的。我知道这一定对你很重要，你已经开始比比画画像个猴子了。

Monica

That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!

这是我听过最动听的话！

(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.)

（罗斯和瑞秋带着艾玛走进来）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

How was the pediatrician?

儿医怎么样？

Rachel

Oh, I really liked him. (Looks at Ross) Yeah, it was really, really, really good.

哦，我真的很喜欢他。（看着罗斯）真的，真的，真的挺好。

Ross

You promised you wouldn't say anything.

你发过誓你不说的。

Rachel

I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!

我知道。（停顿）罗斯还在看他的儿科医生！！！（对罗斯）我不在乎！

Monica

Are you serious? You still see Dr. Gettleman?

你认真的？你还在看盖特曼医生？

Ross

He's a brilliant diagnostician!

他是个出色的诊断医生！

Chandler

Diagnostician or boo-boo fixer?

诊断医生还是安抚噩梦创伤？

Rachel

Ross, seriously! You've gotta go to an appropriate doctor.

罗斯，真的！你得去看合适的医生。

Ross

Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'

为什么？我知道这有点怪，但是，他是个好医生，好吗？他了解我的病史，而且每次我去，他都很重视。“啊看呀，我最喜欢的病人！”

Chandler

Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?

他是在把体温计插入你屁屁之前说的这话吗？

Ross

Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college!

嘿，我好象记得某人上大学时还带着宝贝安全毯！

Chandler

That was not a security blanket! That was a wall-hanging!

那不是宝贝安全毯！那是挂毯！

Ross

It didn't spend much time on the wall!!!

他可没在墙上呆过多久！！！

SCENE

Central Perk

中央珀克咖啡馆

Mike

Excuse me, hi. I was hoping I would run into you. Can we talk?

对不起，嗨。我希望能遇到你。能谈谈吗？

Phoebe

Sure.

当然。

Mike

I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer... Apparently I'm not a funny guy.

很抱歉，真的，我觉得很难堪。真的，我是个好人。你可以问我的宣誓官……看起来我不是个有趣的人……

Phoebe

Why did you go along with that?

你为什么会同意干这事？

Mike

Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.

因为他说我能有顿免费餐，实际上没有。而且我会认识个漂亮姑娘。的确是的。

Phoebe

That's true. (Pause) Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?

确实是。（停顿）你告诉我的有真的吗？

Mike

My name is Mike, and I do play piano.

我是叫迈克，我也弹钢琴。

Phoebe

Prove it.

证实一下。

Mike

There isn't a piano here.

这没有钢琴。

Phoebe

That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.

这可不会难住真正的钢琴家。

Mike

(Plays 'air piano')

（弹“空气钢琴”）

Phoebe

You are really good! I play a little guitar myself.

你真的不错！我自己也玩玩吉他。

Mike

Really?

真的？

Phoebe

Uhuh.

嗯哼。

Mike

That's great. What kind of music do you play?

太棒了。你弹什么音乐？

Phoebe

Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.

像些温和的音乐。你知道吗？但现在我正在做一些“金属少女”的翻唱。

Mike

Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could...

你认为什么时候，我能……

Phoebe

It's okay. Go ahead, ask me out.

没关系。继续，约我。

Mike

Okay. Do you think maybe sometime I could take you out?

好吧。什么时候我约你出去好吗？

Joey

(Walks In)

（走进来）

Phoebe

(To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.

（对迈克）哦，我一点心理准备都没有！那样太好了。

Joey

Look at this. My two best friends!

看看。我两个最好的朋友！

(Phoebe and Mike look at him, and he goes over to the counter.)

（菲比和迈克看着他，他走到柜台边。）

SCENE

Pediatrician's office

儿科医生诊所

Ross

Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.

对不起，我不想像个衰人，但那个得皮疹的小孩在我后面来的。

Receptionist

The doctor will be right with you sir.

医生马上就看你，先生。

Girl

(Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.

（读书）妈咪，我找不到沃尔多。

Ross

With the circus? He's behind the elephant.

在马戏团里的？他在大象后面。

Woman

Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?

哇，这么说你的孩子也迷沃尔多书？

Ross

Yeah, that's how I know. I'm Ross by the way.

对，我就是这么知道的。我是罗斯，顺便说一下。

Sally

Hi, I'm Sally. So, no ring. Can I assume you are also a single parent?

嗨，我是萨莉。那么，没有戒指。我能说你也是个单身家长吗？

Ross

I am a single parent.

我是个单身家长。

Sally

It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?

这很艰难是吗？几乎没有社交生活。我的意思是，去哪里认识什么人？

Ross

Well, let's say, I don't know, you met someone in the pediatrician's office.

那么，这么说吧，我不知道，你会在儿医诊所遇到的。

Nurse

(To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.

（对罗斯）罗西，我们要看你了。

Ross

Hmm, yeah. (To a random boy in the waiting room) Come on Ross jr. It's time to go in.

嗯，是啊。（对候诊室一个随机男孩）来吧小罗斯，该进去了。

Boy

Mommy (He walks over to Sally.)

妈咪（他走到萨莉身边）

Girl

Mommy, what's wrong with that man?

妈咪，那个男的怎么了？

Ross

Hey, I helped you find Waldo!

嘿，我帮你找到的沃尔多！

SCENE

Chandler and Monica's apartment

钱德勒和莫妮卡的公寓

Ross

(Enters) Oh good, you haven't left yet.

（走进来）哦太好了，你还没走。

Monica

Where have you been?

你去哪了？

Ross

I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.

我在盖特曼医生办公室耽搁了。有个家伙把大家都吓坏了。

Chandler

Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)

你来得正好。我得走了兄弟。（他们拥抱）

Ross

Oh man.

哦天哪。

Monica

Promise to call me when you land.

到了一定给我打电话。

Chandler

Of course I will call you. I love you.

我当然会打。我爱你。

Monica

I love you too. (They kiss)

我也爱你。（他们亲吻）

Rachel

Okay, wow, wow, wow. Watch the tongue people, we've got a baby over here.

好吧，哇，哇，哇。看着点舌头，这还有个婴儿。

Phoebe

Bye Chandler.

再见钱德勒。

Chandler

Awww. (They hug) Bye!

啊～（他们拥抱）再见！

Rachel

Bye honey. (They hug)

再见亲爱的。（他们拥抱）

Chandler

(Tries to hug Joey but J. moves away) What's the matter Joe?

（试图拥抱乔伊但乔伊躲开）怎么了乔？

Joey

I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.

我还气你走呢！你什么都不会就会走人。还有你愚蠢的行李。

Chandler

Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?

是不是你想用吵架使道别更轻松点？

Joey

Dude, you see right through me!! (They hug) (Joey heads for the door and pushes Chandler's suitcase on the way out.)

老兄，你对我知根知底！！（他们拥抱）（乔伊走向门口，出去时推了钱德勒的行李箱）

Chandler

Well, bye Mon, bye Ross, Rachel, bye Emma!

好吧，再见莫，再见罗斯，瑞秋，再见艾玛！

Phoebe

Okay, bye-bye! (Pushes Chandler out the door.) Good trip! (Slams the door)

好吧，再见！（把钱德勒推出门）旅途愉快！（摔上门）

Monica

(Runs out to the hallway) Chandler, wait. It goes: Old job, (Raises her hand) new job, (Raises her hand really high) you. This is just something I have to do.

旧工作，（举起手）新工作，（把手举得很高）你。只是我必须这样做。

Chandler

I know.

我知道。

Monica

I love you so much.

我太爱你了。

Chandler

I know that too. (They kiss)

我也知道。（他们亲吻）

(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)

（乔伊打开门，把钱德勒的行李箱拿进自己的公寓）

SCENE

Airport

机场

Chandler

(On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.

（用手机）别担心，我会在你知道前回来的。是的，什么都不会改变。因为我知道，这就是为什么。我保证。

CUT TO

Monica and Chandler's apartment.

莫妮卡和钱德勒的公寓。

Joey

(On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.

（和钱德勒通电话）保证两次？到了给我电话。

Monica

Can I talk now?

我能说了吗？

Joey

Okay, bye. (He hangs up the phone.)

好吧，再见。（他挂断电话）

Monica

Joey?

乔伊？

Joey

He had to board.

他得登机了。