The One In Massapequa

Phoebe

Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parent's anniversary party?

哦，罗斯，莫妮卡，我可以带个人去参加你父母的结婚纪念日派对吗？

Monica

Yeah.

可以。

Ross

Sure. Yeah.

当然，没问题。

Joey

So, who's the guy?

那，那男的是谁？

Phoebe

Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.

他叫帕克，我在干洗店认识他的。

Chandler

Oooh, did he put a little starch in your bloomers? (Sits up) Who said that?

哦~他给你的内裤上浆了吗？（坐直）谁乱说的？

Phoebe

Yeah, he's really great though. He has this incredible zest for life, and he treats me like a queen, except at night when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.

不过他人真的超好。他对生活充满热情，把我当女王一样宠，除了晚上，会把我当成调皮的小丫头。

Monica

(To Ross) Oh, by the way. Would it be okay if I gave the toast to mom and dad this year?

（对罗斯说）哦，对了。今年我给爸妈祝酒可以吗？

Ross

Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?

呃，可以啊。你确定吗？别忘了他们20周年那次发生了什么。

Monica

Yeah, I'd really like to.

嗯，我真的很想试试。

Ross

Okay, hopefully this time mom won't boo you.

行吧，希望这次妈妈不会嘘你。

Monica

Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and it's always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year I'm going to make them cry.

没错！每年都是罗斯祝酒，每次都特别感人，把他们说哭。今年，我也要让他们哭。

Chandler

And you wonder why Ross is their favorite?

那你还纳闷为啥他们更喜欢罗斯？

Monica

No! Really! Any time Ross makes a toast everyone cries, and hugs him, and pats him on the back and they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother." Know what they'll say this year? "God, you"

“天呐，你哥哥真厉害。”你猜今年他们会说啥？“天呐，你真厉害。”

Joey

Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) I'm an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)

我跟你保证，至少有一个人会哭。（指着自己）我是演员，像样的演员都能说哭就哭。（打响指）

Monica

Really you can do that?

你真能做到？

Joey

Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I can't do it with you guys watching me!

开什么玩笑？看着！（做鬼脸试图哭）你们都盯着我，我哭不出来！

Opening Credits

片头

Chandler

What are you doing?

你在干嘛？

Monica

Oh I'm working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)

我在准备派对的祝酒词，我管它叫2002泪崩专场。你看这个。（递给他一张照片）

Chandler

It's a dog.

是只狗。

Monica

It's a dead dog. That's Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.

是只死了的狗。她叫琪琪，我高中的时候她就走了。

Chandler

It's your parents' anniversary and you're going to talk about their dead pet?

你爸妈的结婚纪念日，你要聊他们死去的宠物？

Monica

The good stuff, huh?

多感人啊，是吧？

(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)

（罗斯、乔伊和瑞秋走进来）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

You got a present for my parents. That's so sweet.

你们给我爸妈带礼物了，真好。

Joey

Yeah, yeah, in honor of their 35th wedding anniversary, I had a star named after them.

是啊，为了庆祝他们结婚35周年，我用他们的名字命名了一颗星星。

Ross

Aww that is so cool.

哇，太酷了。

Joey

And I got them a book on Karma Sutra for the elderly.

我还送了本老年人版的《爱经》给他们。

Rachel

Hey, do you guys have any extra ribbon?

你们有多余的彩带吗？

Chandler

Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.

有啊，要哪种？蕾丝、缎面、棉缎、酒椰纤维、格纹布、毛毡都有，（停顿）我感觉我的睾丸好像也在这儿。

Ross

(picking up Chi-Chi's picture) Aww! Chi-Chi! Oh, I loved this dog! Y'know Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.

（拿起琪琪的照片）哇！琪琪！我超爱这只狗的！你知道吗，莫妮卡当年都没整牙，因为琪琪要做膝盖手术。

Monica

What?!

什么？！

Ross

You were the 200-pound 11-year-old who rode her!

你那时候11岁，200磅重，天天骑着她跑！

(Phoebe and Parker enter)

（菲比和帕克走进来）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

All

Hi!

嗨！

Phoebe

Everybody, this is Parker, Parker this is…

各位，这是帕克，帕克，这些是……

Parker

No, no, no wait! Don't tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, I'm sorry Phoebe didn't mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, I'm kidding all ready you're my favorite!

别别别，等等！别告诉我，我来猜。（边指边说名字）乔伊、莫妮卡、罗斯、瑞秋，还有，抱歉菲比没提过你。（钱德勒做鬼脸）钱德勒，开玩笑的，你是我最喜欢的！

Chandler

Ha!

哈！

Parker

Why don't all of you tell me a little about your self?

你们不如都跟我说说自己吧？

Ross

Ah, actually, I'm sorry we-we probably should get going.

呃，不好意思，我们该出发了。

Parker

(laughs) Classic Ross. Rachel, Rachel, oh how you glow. May I? (Puts hand on her stomach)

（笑）典型的罗斯风格。瑞秋，瑞秋，你气色真好，我可以吗？（伸手摸她的肚子）

Rachel

I, uh, think you already are.

我，呃，你已经摸到了。

Parker

Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous than-Oh a picture of a dog! Whose is this?

瑞秋，你肚子里孕育着小生命。世上还有比这更神奇的事吗——哦，一张狗的照片！这是谁？

Monica

That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.

是我以前的狗，很多年前就走了。

Parker

Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So where's the party?

好吧，至少你曾经拥有过它。汪，老朋友，汪。派对在哪儿办？

Monica

It's out on the island. It's in Massapequa.

在长岛那边，马萨佩夸。

Parker

Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history?

马——萨——佩——夸，听起来像个神奇的地方。跟我说说马萨佩夸，是不是有悠久的印第安历史？

Ross

Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tee-pee.

那儿有家卷饼店，长得像印第安帐篷。

Monica

Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?

好了，我的祝酒词卡片拿好了。（对钱德勒说）礼物带了吗？

Chandler

Yeah.

带了。

Monica

And I've got the car keys.

车钥匙我拿了。

Parker

We're driving!?

我们开车去？

Monica

Yeah.

对。

Parker

Aces!

太棒了！

(Everyone except Ross and Rachel leave.)

（除了罗斯和瑞秋，其他人都离开了）

Ross

So uh, he seems like a nice guy.

呃，他人看着挺好的。

Rachel

Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.

是啊，我挺喜欢他的。

Ross

Ya wanna hang back and take our own cab?

要不我们晚点走，自己打车去？

Rachel

Yeah, otherwise I'm not going.

好啊，不然我就不去了。

Mr. and Mrs. Geller

Hi

嗨

Ross

Hi! (Kisses his mom.) Hey mom.

嗨！（吻妈妈）嘿，妈。

Rachel

This is such a great party! 35 years. Very impressive, do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?

派对太棒了！35年，真厉害，有什么婚姻秘诀吗？

Mrs. Geller

Jack?

杰克？

Mr. Geller

Why would you serve food on such a sharp stick? (Looking a toothpick)

为啥要用这么尖的签子串吃的？（看着牙签）

Ross

That's a good question, dad. That's a good question…

问得好，爸，问得好……

Rachel

Hmmm….

嗯……

Woman

(To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!

（对罗斯和瑞秋说）恭喜你们俩！

Rachel

Thank you…we're so excited

谢谢，我们特别开心。

Woman

And also, congratulations on your wedding.

还有，恭喜你们结婚了。

Ross

Wha-What?

什——什么？

Mrs. Geller

Can we talk to you for just a y'know… It's just a little thing. Well we think it's absolutely marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock, some of our friends are less open-minded. Which is why we've told them all that you're married.

能跟你们说两句吗？就是件小事。我们觉得你们未婚先孕挺好的，但我们有些朋友思想比较保守，所以我们跟他们说你们已经结婚了。

Ross and Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Mrs. Geller

Thanks for going along with this.

谢谢你们配合一下。

Ross

Dad so what we have to pretend that we're married?

爸，所以我们得假装结婚了？

Mr. Geller

Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.

儿子，我为了今晚特意修了耳朵毛，你这点小事没问题。

Ross

Can you believe that?

你敢信吗？

Rachel

Yeah, if you're going to do the ears, you might as well take a pass at the nosal area.

是啊，既然耳朵毛都修了，鼻子毛也顺便修修得了。

Ross

No, us having to lie about being married.

不是，我是说我们得撒谎假装结婚。

Rachel

No, I know I don't either, but ya know what, it's their party, and it's just one night. And we don't even have to lie; we just won't say anything. If it comes up again, we'll just…smile. We'll nod along.

我也不想，但这是他们的派对，就一晚而已。我们甚至不用撒谎，什么都不说就行。要是再有人问，我们就……笑一笑，点点头。

Woman

Ross!

罗斯！

Man

Rachel!

瑞秋！

Ross

Hi Aunt Lisa, Uncle Dan

嗨，莉萨阿姨，丹叔叔。

Aunt Lisa

Congratulations on the baby, and on the wedding

恭喜你们怀宝宝，也恭喜你们结婚。

Ross and Rachel

Hmmmm….

嗯……

Uncle Dan

Here's a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)

一点心意，给你们添点家用。（递过一张支票）

Rachel

Oh…

哦……

Aunt Lisa

So, how's married life treating you?

婚后生活怎么样？

Rachel

(looking at the check) Unbelievable!

（看着支票）太完美了！

Ross

We love marriage!

我们超爱婚后生活！

Aunt Lisa

Great!

太好了！

(The rest of the gang arrives including Parker.)

（菲比一行人赶到，帕克也来了）

Ross

Hey

嘿

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Parker

What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C…I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)

地方真美，夜色真好！跟你们大家在C宴会厅待在一起，我太幸运了。我想起这里发生过的美好时光：生日派对、毕业舞会、成人礼，但都比不上今晚！天呐，我不想忘记这一刻，真想在脑海里给你们拍张照！咔嚓！（假装给众人拍脑内照片）

Chandler

I don't think the flash went off.

我觉得闪光灯没亮。

Parker

Dahaaa! (Punches Chandler in the arm and he makes a face of pain.) I'm going to find the men's room, be right back.

哎呀！（拍了下钱德勒的胳膊，钱德勒疼得皱眉）我去趟洗手间，马上回来。

Phoebe

I'll go with you

我陪你去。

Parker

Come on!

走吧！

Chandler

Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

肯定有人拿着麻醉枪和大捕蝶网，到处找这家伙呢。

Joey

I have to go to the bathroom too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing.

我也想去洗手间，但不想让他对着我的“家伙”夸个不停。

Ross

I'm so we weren't in the car! Did he ever let up?

幸好我们没跟他坐一辆车，他就没停过嘴吗？

Monica

He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.

他把长岛高速称为“混凝土奇迹”。

Ross

(imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry…(He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)

（模仿帕克）这房间！这夜色！这服务员！他的鞋子！我要拍张脑内照片！（后退撞到人）哦抱歉……（回头看到是菲比，立刻停止模仿）

Phoebe

Were you guys making fun of Parker?

你们在取笑帕克？

Ross

That depends, how much did you hear?

看你听到多少了。

Phoebe

So, he a little enthusiastic, what's wrong with that?

他就是热情了点，怎么了？

Monica

It's just that, it's so much.

就是……太热情过头了。

Phoebe

Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends don't do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? 'Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the who's who of human crap. (Walks off)

我就喜欢他！我取笑过你们约会过的人吗？泰格、珍妮斯、莫娜？没有，朋友不会这么做。但你们想听我的看法吗？想听吗？在我看来，你们所有人的约会对象，全是垃圾里的极品。（转身走开）

Monica

I feel terrible.

我好愧疚。

Joey

I know

我也是。

Ross

What was wrong with Mona?

莫娜怎么了？

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Open it! Open it! Open it!

打开！快打开！

Ross

Yeah baby!

好嘞！

Man

So we never got to hear about your wedding!

我们还没听过你们的婚礼细节呢！

Woman

We were surprise that we weren't invited.

没收到邀请，我们都挺意外的。

Ross

No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.

不是不是，就请了双方父母和一两个朋友，小型婚礼。

Rachel

But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.

但特别美，规模小，却特别盛大。

Man

Where did you have it?

在哪儿办的？

Rachel

On a cliff, in Barbados, at sunset, and Stevie Wonder sang Isn't She Lovely as I walked down the aisle.

巴巴多斯的悬崖上，日落时分，我走红毯时，史蒂夫·旺德唱了《她如此可爱》。

Woman

Really?

真的？

Rachel

Yeah, Stevie's an old family friend. (Hits Ross's chest)

是啊，史蒂夫是我们家老朋友。（拍了下罗斯的胸口）

Woman

Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.

天呐，听起来太棒了，真想看看照片。

Rachel

So would I. You wouldn't think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.

我也想啊，谁能想到安妮·莱博维茨会忘装胶卷呢。

Ross

Would you excuse us for a second? (Pulls Rachel off to the side) Umm…. what are you doing?

失陪一下。（把瑞秋拉到一边）呃……你在干嘛？

Rachel

What? I'm not you. This may be the only wedding I ever have. I want it to be amazing.

怎么了？我不像你，这可能是我唯一的婚礼，我想让它完美点。

Ross

Okay, okay. Ooooh, ooh maybe I rode in on a Harley.

好好好，那……要不我骑哈雷进场？

Rachel

Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.

行了罗斯，得靠谱点。

(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)

（镜头切到菲比和帕克）

Parker

Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet.

你没事吧？好像有点安静。

Phoebe

No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you.

没事，我很好，跟你在一起很开心。

Parker

And I'm with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to man's plate dispensing problems.

我也是！活着真好啊！你看这个自动餐盘机，（摆弄餐盘）完美解决了餐盘分发的难题，太有创意了。

Phoebe

Hm huh, yeah.

嗯，是啊。

Parker

Ah! Oysters! Let me feed you one.

啊！生蚝！我喂你一个。

Phoebe

No, that's not necessary.

不用了，没必要。

Parker

Please.

来嘛。

Phoebe

No, actually I don't eat…

不了，我其实不吃……

Parker

I won't quit until you try.

你不吃我就不罢休。

Phoebe

Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm…hmmmmm….

行行行！（接过生蚝假装吃，实则扔到地上）嗯……真好吃。

Parker

What are they like? I've never had one.

什么味道？我从没吃过。

Phoebe

Why don't you just try one?

那你自己尝尝不就好了？

Parker

No, they look too weird.

不要，看着怪怪的。

(Cut to Monica and Chandler)

（镜头切到莫妮卡和钱德勒）

Chandler

What are you doin'?

你在干嘛？

Monica

Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit 'em. I can't wait. They're going to be crying so hard. They're going to be fighting for breath.

再顺一遍祝酒词，他们肯定会被感动到。我都等不及了，他们会哭到不行，喘不过气来。

Chandler

Ya know if you want to, I can just hold them down and you could (Punches the air).

你要是愿意，我把他们按住，你直接（对着空气挥拳）就行。

(Cut to Rachel and Ross)

（镜头切到瑞秋和罗斯）

Rachel

And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.

我的头纱是蕾丝的，比利时盲修女织的。

Woman

Blind?

盲修女？

Rachel

Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.

一开始不是，这活太精细了，她们说就算失明了也值。

Aunt Lisa

I'll bet you looked beautiful…

你肯定美极了……

Rachel

Well, I don't know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.

我不确定，但有人说我像下凡的天使。

Woman

(To Ross) So, how did you propose?

（对罗斯说）那你怎么求婚的？

Rachel

Oh yeah. That's a great story.

对啊，故事超浪漫。

Ross

Well, um, actually, I-I took her to the planetarium. That's-that's where we had our first date. Um, she walked in and I had the room filled with lilies, her favorite flower…

呃，我带她去了天文馆，我们第一次约会就在那儿。她一进去，整个房间摆满了她最喜欢的百合花……

Aunt Lisa

Oh that is so sweet!

太浪漫了！

Rachel

Shhh! I want to hear the rest!

嘘！继续说！

Ross

Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"

“你愿意嫁给我吗？”

(Various oohs and ahhs)

（众人纷纷惊叹）

Rachel

And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!

戒指有我拳头这么大！（握拳示意）

(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)

（镜头切到菲比和乔伊）

Joey

Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parker's a nice guy and I'd like to get to know him.

菲比，那个……我想为刚才的事道歉，好吗？我们太过分了。帕克人挺好的，我想好好了解他。

Phoebe

Then you better do it now.

那你最好现在就去。

Joey

Why?

为啥？

Phoebe

Because I'm going to kill him

因为我想宰了他。

Joey

What-what?

什——什么？

Phoebe

You guys were right. He's just too excited about…everything. I mean I'm all for living life, but this is the Geller's 35th anniversary. Okay? Let's call a spade a spade this party stinks.

你们说得对，他对所有事都兴奋过头了。我是热爱生活，但这是盖勒夫妇的35周年派对，懂吗？实话实说，这派对糟透了。

Joey

I know I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!

我懂，我也超无聊。自助餐排了15分钟队，好不容易到我拿盘子，居然踩到一大坨鼻涕滑倒了！

Phoebe

Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?

你确定不是生蚝？

Joey

I guess it could've been, I didn't really look at it. Y'know, I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell out of there.

有可能，我没细看。我直接往钱德勒外套上一擦，赶紧跑了。

Phoebe

He's just such a great guy I'm so excited about him.

他人其实挺好的，我之前还挺喜欢他。

Joey

Oh hey, you should be excited about him. There's nothing wrong with him he's a good guy.

是啊，他没什么不好，是个好人。

Phoebe

You think?

你真这么觉得？

Joey

Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.

嗯，我觉得是我们太消极了。

Phoebe

You're right. You're right, he's just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! I'm a sunny, positive person.

你说得对，他只是热爱生活而已。我们都该学学他。我本来就像他，阳光又积极。

Joey

Actually, you have a little bit of an edge.

其实吧，你有点太尖锐了。

Phoebe

What's that now?

你说啥？

Joey

Nothing…

没什么……

Phoebe

Oh look it's Parker!

哦，帕克来了！

Parker

Look! It's the bunny hop!

看！兔子舞！

Phoebe

Oooh I love it!

哦我超爱！

Parker

You do?!

真的？

Phoebe

Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!

开玩笑吗？跟着音乐学动物跳舞，走！

(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)

（镜头切到莫妮卡，她站在麦克风前）

Monica

Okay it's time for the toast! Umm now-now, I know that Ross usually gives the toast, but this year I'm going to do it.

好了，祝酒时间到！我知道往年都是罗斯祝酒，但今年换我来。

(Everyone sighs)

（众人叹气）

Monica

No, no it's going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably don't say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, I'm-I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she can't because she's dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember she's dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didn't see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesn't get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Here's to mom and dad! Whatever!

别别别，我这次肯定说得很好，真的！爸妈，我结婚时，你们给我树立的美好榜样，让我坚信自己能经营好婚姻。为此，还有很多事，我想对你们说谢谢。我知道我平时说得太少，但我爱你们。（假装哭，希望爸妈也跟着哭）环顾这个房间，我想到那些没能到场的人，特别难过。奶奶，我亲爱的奶奶，她多想来，但她走了。我们的狗琪琪也走了，你们看她多可爱。（举起照片再次假装哭）曾经很可爱。（对舞台边的老人说）麻烦把这个递给我爸妈，记住，她已经死了。她和奶奶，都不在了。天呐！有人记得《母女情深》里黛布拉·温格跟孩子告别的场景吗？（钱德勒捂住耳朵）没看过？没人爱看电影吗？想听更难过的吗？前几天我看《60分钟》，罗马尼亚有群孤儿，长期被忽视，已经失去了爱的能力。（等着众人哭，结果没人哭）你们都是石头做的！敬爸妈！随便吧！

Mrs. Geller

Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasn't it interesting, Jack?

谢谢你莫妮卡，说得……挺特别的。是吧杰克？

Mr. Geller

(looking at the picture) Why don't I remember this dog?

（看着照片）我怎么不记得这只狗？

Mrs. Geller

Ross, why don't you give us your toast now?

罗斯，要不你来说祝酒词吧？

Ross

Oh, no, Mom, it's just Monica this year.

不了妈，今年莫妮卡说了就行。

Mrs. Geller

You're not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary

我们35周年，你一句话都不说？

Ross

No, of course, Um… Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say…on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if…if in 35 years, we're half as happy as you guys are, we'll count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.

当然要说，呃……各位，我想说，代表我的新婚妻子瑞秋（瑞秋转身微笑），还有我自己。如果35年后，我们能有你们一半幸福，就是世界上最幸运的人了。

Mrs. Geller

(crying) Oh Ross…

（哭了）哦罗斯……

Mr. Geller

I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross's toast.

真希望奶奶还在，能听到罗斯的祝酒。

Parker

My God what a fantastically well lit hallway!

天呐，走廊的灯光也太完美了！

Phoebe

Can I get you something to drink? Like a water and Valium?

喝点什么吗？水加安定片？

Parker

I must say this apartment, its, its, There are no words…

我得说，这个公寓……简直无法形容。

Phoebe

Oh thank God.

谢天谢地。

Parker

It's a haven. A third-floor paradise. A modern-day Eden in the midst…

是避风港，三楼的天堂，都市里的现代伊甸园……

Phoebe

Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why don't we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!

是啊！我知道！要不我们坐下来放松一下，安安静静待一会儿？

Parker

That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)

好啊。（坐下）天呐，这是我这辈子坐过最舒服的沙发。（在沙发上蹦）

Phoebe

Let's try something else, let's play a game.

换个事做吧，玩个游戏。

Parker

I love games!

我超爱游戏！

Phoebe

Shocking! Let's play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)

真意外！我们玩“谁保持安静最久”的游戏。（偷笑）

Parker

Or…Jenga.

或者……叠叠乐。

Phoebe

But, let's play this one first. And remember whoever talks first loses!

先玩这个，记住谁先说话谁输！

(They sit back)

（两人靠在沙发上）

Parker

I lose, now Jenga.

我输了，来玩叠叠乐。

Phoebe

Oh my God! Oh my God!

天呐！天呐！

Parker

Is something wrong?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Wrong? Really? You know the word wrong. Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical? Everything isn't a glow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!

怎么了？你居然知道“不对”这个词？不是所有事都完美、神奇、闪耀着百万仙女的光芒吗？那只是刹车灯而已，帕克！

Parker

Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam!

抱歉，我不该给堵车找个美好的说法！

Phoebe

You don't have to put a good spin on everything.

你不用什么事都往好里说。

Parker

I'm sorry that's who I am. I'm a positive person.

抱歉，我就是这样，我很乐观。

Phoebe

No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!

不！我才乐观！你就像吃了抗抑郁药、在迪士尼乐园快活的圣诞老人！

Parker

So what do you want me to do, you want me to be more negative, less happy?

那你想让我怎么样？变得消极、不开心？

Phoebe

Much less happy!

非常不开心！

Parker

Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "I'd better be going."

“我该走了。”

Phoebe

So long! Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)

再见！出门别被世界上最棒的门撞到屁股！（帕克离开，菲比用力甩上门）

(There's a knock on door, and Phoebe opens it.)

（有人敲门，菲比开门）

Parker

Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life?

这难道不是你这辈子吵过最精彩的架吗？

Phoebe

Uh huh. (Closes door)

嗯。（关门）

Ross

…and then, we could've gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!

……然后，婚礼仪式结束后，你坐边车，我们直接去婚宴！

Rachel

Ross, it just wouldn't have been feasible.

罗斯，这不现实。

Ross

But having a dove place the ring on your finger would've been no problem?

那让鸽子把戒指戴你手上，就没问题？

Rachel

It was really fun being married to you tonight.

今晚假装跟你结婚，还挺好玩的。

Ross

Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks I've ever made.

对啊！我轻轻松松赚了400块红包。

Rachel

Okay Ross, can I uh, can I ask you something?

罗斯，我能问你个事吗？

Ross

Yeah.

问吧。

Rachel

That proposal, at the planetarium…

天文馆的那个求婚……

Ross

I know, I know it was stupid.

我知道，挺傻的。

Rachel

Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was…really wonderful! Did you just make that up?

开玩笑吗？百合花、音乐、星空，太浪漫了！是你编的吗？

Ross

No, actually I thought about it when, when we were going out. It's how I imagined I uh, I would ask you to marry me.

不是，我们交往的时候我就想过，我本来就打算这么跟你求婚。

Rachel

Well, that would've been very hard to say no too.

那我肯定没法拒绝。

Ross

It's a good thing I didn't do it, because it sounds like it would've been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night

幸好没这么做，不然婚礼肯定超贵。（瑞秋笑）晚安。

Rachel

Goodnight

晚安。

(They go off to their bedrooms)

（两人各自回房间）

Ross

Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldn't get messed up?

就算边车装挡风玻璃，不会弄乱你头发，也不行？

Rachel

I will think about it.

我会考虑的。

Ross

That's all I'm askin'

我就这点要求。

Ending Credits

片尾

Monica

Okay that's it. I give up. At mom and dad's 40th anniversary, you're the one giving the speech.

我放弃了。爸妈40周年纪念，你来祝酒。

Ross

Y'know I don't understand why they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech.

我就纳闷了，他们怎么没哭，我说得多感人啊。

Monica

Oh, come on.

得了吧。

Ross

Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really would've wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.

真的！你说的真爱那些话，没错啊，我们确实从爸妈身上学到很多！还有琪琪那张坏笑的照片，你说奶奶的那些话，她肯定想来的，我觉得她就在现场。

Monica

(starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?

（哭了）天呐罗斯，你到底是怎么做到的？

End

结束