The One With The Secret Closet

Monica

(opens the door wearing a robe, but leaves the chain on) Hey, what's up?

（穿着浴袍开门，但没解开安全链）嘿，怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, I left my guitar here again.

嗯，我又把吉他落这儿了。

Monica

Oh, okay. No problem.

哦，好的，没问题。

Phoebe

Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)

好的。（莫妮卡关上门，拿了吉他再递出来。）

Monica

Okay.

给你。

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Monica

Here you go.

拿好。

Phoebe

Okay.

好的。

Monica

Okay.

好。

Phoebe

Great! Umm…(Monica closes the door again and Phoebe knocks again.)

太好了！嗯……（莫妮卡再次关门，菲比又敲了门。）

Monica

What?!

又怎么了？！

Phoebe

So do you want to hang out or something?

那你要不要一起待会儿什么的？

Monica

Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.

菲比！你来得不是时候。

Phoebe

Oh are you and Chandler…

哦，你和钱德勒在……

Monica

Yes! Exactly.

对！就是。

Phoebe

Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?

好吧。要不要我给你们弹首歌？

Monica

(laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)

（笑）不用了。（关门，此时钱德勒走了过来。）

Chandler

Hey Pheebs, what's up?

嘿，菲比，怎么了？

Phoebe

You ask an intriguing question Chandler Bing.

你这个问题问得真有意思，钱德勒·宾。

(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)

（钱德勒让她进了公寓，菲比发现莫妮卡正在让另一个女人给她按摩。）

Phoebe

Oh my God! You're getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!

天啊！你居然在按摩！你从来不让我给你按摩！！

Monica

Phoebe, I can explain!

菲比，我可以解释！

Phoebe

You told me you hate massages!

你跟我说你讨厌按摩！

Chandler

Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning…Don't let Phoebe in.

买邮票、取干洗的衣服……千万别让菲比进来。

Phoebe

I can't believe this! How long as this been going on?

我真不敢相信！这事持续多久了？

Monica

Well umm, Alexandra has been…

嗯，那个，亚历山德拉一直……

Phoebe

Oh, it has a name?

哦，还有名字？

Monica

Phoebe, don't get upset!

菲比，别生气！

Phoebe

Okay-Oop! Too late! I'm leaving! Come on Chandler let's go! (She storms out.)

好——哦！晚了！我走了！走吧钱德勒，我们走！（她气冲冲地离开。）

Chandler

Well, Phoebe I thought I'd-(Off Phoebe's look)-Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)

那个，菲比，我还以为……（看到菲比的眼神）好吧，管它呢。（跟着菲比出去。）

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Joey

Oh okay, okay! One more push! One more push! Come on honey, we're almost there! We're almost there!

好的，好的！再用力！再用力！加油亲爱的，快了！我们快成功了！

Rachel

Oh Joey, I'm so happy things worked out for us that we're having this baby together. I love you so much.

乔伊，真高兴我们能走到一起，还有了孩子。我好爱你。

Joey

Oh, I love you too.

我也爱你。

Rachel

And I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say this but, you're the best sex I ever had.

希望现在说这个不会不合时宜，但你是我经历过最棒的伴侣。

Joey

That's always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!

什么时候说都合适！（回到正事）好的，再用力！再用力！

(Finally, the baby is delivered and starts crying.)

（终于，孩子出生了，开始哭起来。）

Doctor

Oh, here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations!

恭喜，这是你们可爱的宝宝。

(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Ross's face where the baby's should be.)

（医生把宝宝递给乔伊，乔伊掀开毯子，本该是宝宝脸的地方居然是罗斯的脸。）

Ross

(crying) I hope you're a better father than you're a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)

（哭着说）希望你当爸爸能比当朋友强！！（又哭，乔伊吓得惊醒。）

Rachel

(bursts into the room) Joey! Joey!

（冲进房间）乔伊！乔伊！

Joey

What? What's going on?

怎么了？出什么事了？

Rachel

Come feel this! Come feel my belly!

快来摸！快来摸我的肚子！

Joey

Aaaah…

啊……

Rachel

Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!

乔伊！宝宝第一次踢我了！快来摸摸！

Joey

Really?!

真的？！

Rachel

Yes!

真的！

(Joey starts to get up but stops.)

（乔伊准备起身，又停下。）

Joey

Oh, y'know what? Maybe uh, you…you should come to me. I'm a not, I'm not wearing any bottoms.

那个，要不……你过来吧。我没穿下装。

Rachel

Oh, okay! (She goes over to him and he feels her belly.)

哦，好！（她走过去，乔伊摸她的肚子。）

Joey

Oh my, oh my God!

天啊，我的天！

Rachel

Aw, it's unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, she's like umm…oh…who's that kind of annoying girl soccer player?

太不可思议了！哇！她踢得好厉害！她就像……那个有点烦人的女足球员是谁来着？

Joey

Mia Hamm?

米娅·哈姆？

Rachel

Mia Hamm!

对，米娅·哈姆！

Joey

Oh that's amazing. (Drops the sheet.)

太厉害了。（被子滑落。）

Rachel

(looking down) Oh-oh!! One hand on the sheet Joe!

（低头看）哦！抓好被子，乔伊！

Joey

Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!

哎呀！抱歉！

Chandler

Hey babe.

嘿，宝贝。

Monica

Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they don't like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)

嗨，亲爱的。鲍勃和费伊·宾送了我们结婚礼物，他们肯定不喜欢我们，对吧？（礼物是个波点潘趣酒碗。）

Chandler

Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?

谁说六块钱买不到好看的潘趣酒碗？要不我们退了？

Monica

No, it doesn't say where it came from. Where would we return it?

不行，没写来源。退哪儿去？

Chandler

How about to the street say from the balcony?

要不从阳台扔到街上去？

Monica

Why don't we just find a place for it?

找个地方放着不就行了？

Chandler

Okay. How about in that cabinet?

好。放那个柜子里怎么样？

Monica

No! That's where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?

不行！那是放罐头的！你把入门培训学的东西全忘了？

Chandler

How about the closet by the bathroom? (The secret green door by the bathroom.)

浴室旁边的储藏室呢？（浴室旁那扇绿色的神秘门。）

Monica

Oh, okay. Here, why don't you let me do it?

哦，行。还是我来吧。

Chandler

Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) It's locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?

不不不，我来。宝贝，你得学着歇会儿，偶尔让你老公干点活。（开门）锁着的，帮我一下。怎么锁上了？

Monica

No reason. I-I keep private things in there.

没什么。我……里面放了些私人物品。

Chandler

Oh y'know, I've been living here a while and I've never seen what's inside that closet. What is, what is in there?

我住这儿这么久，从没见过这储藏室里有什么。里面到底是什么？

Monica

Feminine stuff.

女性用品。

Chandler

Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!

别想用女性用品让我尴尬！

Monica

Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-you'll let it go.

钱德勒，里面没你在意的东西！爱我就别问了。

Chandler

Fine.

好吧。

Monica

Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)

谢谢！（钱德勒又去拧门，莫妮卡瞪了他一眼。）

Chandler

(walking casually away) Love you.

（随意走开）爱你。

Phoebe

(entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!

（走进来）嗨，钱德勒，天气真好，是吧？（对莫妮卡）你！

Chandler

Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)

菲比，说个或许有用的，亚历山德拉也就给莫妮卡按摩了三年。（菲比翻白眼走开，莫妮卡瞪他。）我是说“或许有用”！（走进卧室。）

Phoebe

Why won't you let me massage you?

为什么不让我给你按摩？

Monica

Well it's…I mean I'd just-I'd be self-conscious. You're my friend; I'd be naked.

嗯……我会不好意思。你是我朋友，我得光着身子。

Phoebe

Monica! We lived together for years! I've seen you naked!

莫妮卡！我们一起住了好几年！我见过你裸体！

Monica

That's different, we were roommates! And when?!

那不一样，当时是室友！什么时候的事啊？！

Phoebe

I'm curious about the human body.

我对人体很好奇。

Monica

Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.

菲比，拜托，你能理解我为什么觉得奇怪吧。

Phoebe

But I'm a professional! And I'm really good! Look, if you're uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?

可我是专业的！手法超棒！不舒服我们就停。给我一次机会，好不好？求你了？

Monica

Okay, if it means that much to you…

好吧，要是你这么在意的话……

Phoebe

It does! How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons.

非常在意！要是你没法分享厨艺，你会怎么想？或者想想，罗斯要是没法给我们讲龙的知识，他会多难受。

Monica

Dinosaurs.

是恐龙。

Phoebe

Potato, potaato.

差不多啦。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey Ross! The baby's kicking!

嘿罗斯！宝宝在踢了！

Ross

What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachel's belly.)

什么？！真的？！（他急着摘手套，半天摘不下来，最后像打架的冰球运动员一样把手套甩掉，抓住瑞秋的肚子。）

Rachel

It's not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.

现在没踢了。不过我们很想看你再做一次那个动作。

Ross

Hey, when-when was it kicking? What happened?

什么时候踢的？怎么回事？

Rachel

Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joey's room and he was sleeping…

昨晚！我感觉到了就去乔伊房间，他当时在睡觉……

Joey

A dreamless sleep.

睡得特别香，没做梦。

Ross

My God, the baby's kicking. That's great. Although I…kinda wish I-I would've been there to feel the kicking for the first time y'know.

天啊，宝宝踢了，真好。就是……我有点希望第一次踢的时候我能在场。

Joey

Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.

我这儿也有动静（摸自己肚子），要不要摸摸？

Ross

Look, I-I don't want to miss anymore baby stuff. So…Here. Here's my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! I'll be there! Okay? I don't care if it's three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.

我不想再错过宝宝的任何事了。给，这是我的新传呼号，好吗？任何和怀孕有关的事都呼我！我马上到！就算凌晨三点你想吃冰淇淋，我也来。

Joey

Wow! Can I get a copy of that?

哇！能给我一份吗？

Phoebe

(calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?

（在房间里喊）盖好被子了吗？

Monica

Yes.

盖好了。

(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)

（菲比打开音乐，拿了按摩油。）

Phoebe

(in a soothing voice) Great, let's begin. (She starts the massage.) How's the pressure?

（温柔地说）好，开始吧。力道怎么样？

Monica

Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!

刚好！哇菲比，你手法真好！

Phoebe

Stating the obvious, but thank you. And it's not weird is it.

这不是明摆着嘛，谢啦。不奇怪吧？

Monica

No. Ooohh…

不奇怪。哦……

Phoebe

That's right, you just enjoy.

对，好好享受就行。

Monica

(in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah!

（发出暧昧的声音）哦。对！哦！哦！对！

Phoebe

(getting uncomfortable) Okay.

（开始不自在）好了。

Monica

Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh that's it! That's it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh… (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)

天啊菲比！！（菲比捂住一只耳朵。）就是这儿！就是这儿！对！哦！（菲比捂住另一只耳朵。）哦……（菲比捂住双耳，用手肘继续按摩。）

Chandler

I wasn't trying to open your closet! I wasn't trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)

我没想开你储藏室的门！我发誓！（跑到厨房，看到是乔伊。）

Joey

Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?

哇，莫妮卡把这儿管得真严。你在干嘛？

Chandler

Monica has a secret closet and she won't let me see what's in it.

莫妮卡有个神秘储藏室，不让我看里面有什么。

Joey

Why not?

为什么？

Chandler

I don't know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I can't see?!

我哪知道！她能藏什么东西不让我看？！

Joey

I don't know. Ooh, I bet it's Richard.

不知道。哦，我猜里面是理查德。

Chandler

Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?

莫妮卡把理查德藏这儿干嘛？

Joey

Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe she's having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!

我随便猜的，嗯，可能她想两全其美。你是她的现任，理查德是她的旧爱。或者！

Chandler

And here we go…

又来了……

Joey

I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y'know it wouldn't kill ya to respect your wife's privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!

我看过一部电影，有扇门，没人知道后面是什么，最后打开的时候，成千上万只虫子涌出来，吃人肉。尊重你老婆的隐私又不会死！（走开回自己公寓，回头看那扇门。）什么破储藏室，全是虫子！

Rachel

Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't-Whoa!! (Winces in pain.)

乔伊。乔伊，我感觉怪怪的，不是好的那种。我……哇！！（疼得皱眉。）

Joey

Oh hey whoa-whoa, don't worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.

别慌别慌，没事的。我姐姐们怀孕的时候，各种奇怪的感觉都有，最后都没事。

Rachel

Really?

真的？

Joey

Absolutely. But, we're gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? I'll page Ross on the way. Come on.

百分百真的。不过我们去医院确认一下，好不好？路上呼罗斯。走吧。

Rachel

Okay. Oh God-Ow!-Oo!

好。天啊，疼！

Joey

Okay Rach-Rach-Rach look at me, look at me, everything's gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones!

瑞秋看着我，没事的，相信我。抓着我的手，我们走。（瑞秋抓住他的手。）啊！骨头要断了！

Joey

Hey! So?

嘿！怎么样？

Dr. Long

She's fine. She's experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions, mild discomfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.

她没事。是布拉克斯顿-希克斯宫缩，子宫壁收缩引起的轻微不适。

Rachel

Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?

呵，轻微不适。那你肯定经历过这种宫缩吧？

Joey

So but everything is normal.

总之一切正常就好。

Dr. Long

Absolutely.

没错。

Joey

And-and there's no danger to her and the baby?

她和宝宝都没有危险吧？

Dr. Long

No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know what they are, but she's fine.

没有。不了解宫缩的话会很紧张，但她没事。

Rachel

Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.

谢谢医生。（朗医生离开。）（对乔伊）谢谢你这么淡定，一直陪着我。

Joey

Calm?! I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in all my life!

淡定？！我才不淡定！我这辈子从没这么害怕过！

Rachel

But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.

可你刚才说一切都会好的。

Joey

Well what do I know?! I'm not a doctor!

我哪懂啊？！我又不是医生！

Rachel

But I-But everything is okay. I'm fine!

但……现在没事了，我很好！

Joey

You sure?!

你确定？！

Rachel

Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus though. Mild discomfort, what's he talking about?

确定！我真想让那医生也感受下宫缩。轻微不适，他懂什么？

Joey

(seeing Ross) Oh hey-hey!

（看到罗斯）嘿！

Ross

(rushes in) Is everything okay?

（冲进来）没事吧？

Rachel

Yeah, everything's fine!

没事，一切都好！

Ross

Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?

你呼我来医院，怎么了？发生什么事了？

Joey

Something called Braxton-Hicks contractions.

是叫布拉克斯顿-希克斯宫缩。

Ross

Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don't even feel them.

哦。谢天谢地，大部分孕妇都感觉不到。

Rachel

Okay, no uterus, no opinion.

没经历过就别发表意见。

Joey

Hey uh, what's with the candy?

嘿，你拿糖果干嘛？

Ross

Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.

你呼我的时候，我正在电影院小卖部排队。

Rachel

Oh you went to the movies by yourself?

你一个人去看电影了？

Ross

No I-Mona!

不是，我和……莫娜！

Rachel

Oh, I gotta go back in there.

哦，我得回里面一下。

Ross

What? Why? What's wrong?

怎么了？为什么？不舒服吗？

Rachel

No, everything's fine. I just gotta go back…

没事，挺好的。我就是得回去……

Ross

No really, you tell me what's up.

别骗我，到底怎么了？

Rachel

I-I forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)

我……我忘拿内裤了。（罗斯放她走。）

Ross

(To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.

（对乔伊）谢谢你送她来医院。

Joey

Oh hey, don't worry about it man. Don't worry about it, no big deal.

别客气，小事一桩。

Ross

Yeah but still, I mean it should've been me. I'm the dad.

话是这么说，但该来的是我，我是孩子的爸爸。

Dr. Long

(To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, here's some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. You're gonna make a wonderful father.

（对乔伊）有问题的话，这是关于宫缩的资料。（递给乔伊一本小册子。）对了，送她来医院是对的，你会是个好爸爸。

Joey

Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!

哪有他好！（搂住罗斯的肩膀。）他还带了糖果呢！

Commercial Break

广告时间

Chandler

There has got to be a way!

肯定有办法打开！

Joey

Easy there Captain Kirk. Oh, do you have a bobby pin?

别急，柯克船长。你有发夹吗？

Chandler

Yeah. (Checks his hair.) Oh no wait, I'm not an nine-year-old girl.

有。（摸自己头发。）哦不对，我又不是九岁小姑娘。

Joey

Then why do you throw like one?

那你打球怎么像小姑娘？

Chandler

Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.

莫妮卡应该有。

Joey

Sure. "Monica."

可不是嘛，去找莫妮卡要。

Chandler

So, how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?

你对瑞秋那离谱的暗恋怎么样了？

Joey

Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I just-I wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel anymore, y'know? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think…I think Ross feels left out. Y'know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God… You should've seen the look on Ross's face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here. For all I know I'm just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?

挺好的，挺好。我随时都想自我了结。（钱德勒拿了发夹回来递给乔伊。）哇，这么快就找到了。（用发夹开锁。）我真希望别再对瑞秋有这种感觉了，希望一切回到从前。我挺喜欢和她一起住，照顾宝宝也很开心，但我觉得罗斯被冷落了。我送瑞秋去医院的时候，医生都以为我是孩子爸爸。你真该看看罗斯当时的表情。对了，我都不知道我在干嘛，说不定把锁弄得更牢了。用信用卡试过吗？

Chandler

That's a good idea.

好主意。

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

Chandler

Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?

好。（两人换位置，钱德勒拿出信用卡。）罗斯挺失落的吧？

Joey

Oh, I just…I feel terrible.

我心里挺不是滋味的。

Chandler

Well, it's not your fault. What are you gonna do? Not take her to the hospital? Y'know? You're doing nothing wrong. (Pause) Except for harboring an all consuming love for the woman whose carrying his baby. (He loses his card behind the door.) Richard? If-if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?

又不是你的错。你总不能不送她去医院吧？你没做错什么。（停顿）除了对怀着他孩子的女人爱得死去活来。（信用卡掉进门后。）理查德？你要是在里面，能把信用卡递我一下吗？

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!

跟你说，昨天太舒服了，按摩超棒！

Phoebe

No-no, I got that.

我知道。

Monica

So umm, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?

那我们每周都约一次怎么样？

Phoebe

Okay. Okay but you should know though, I've raised my rates to $200 an hour.

好。不过跟你说，我涨价了，一小时200刀。

Monica

Okay.

好。

Phoebe

I mean $500.

500刀。

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

600.

600。

Monica

What's going on?

你到底干嘛？

Phoebe

Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged!

你按摩的时候发出暧昧的声音！

Monica

What? (Laughs.)

什么？（笑。）

Phoebe

Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.

对啊，把我吓坏了！我后来故意按重了，你反而更夸张。

Monica

What?! You're crazy! There's nothing sexual about the noises I make!

什么？！你疯了吧！我发出的声音一点都不暧昧！

Phoebe

Really? There's nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.

是吗？这样也不暧昧？（发出暧昧声音）哦。天啊！哦。哦。哦。（一个帅哥正盯着她看。）（对帅哥）看什么看？！（停顿）你好。

Monica

Oh my-This is so embarrassing. Oh my God, I'm never gonna get massaged again!

太尴尬了！天啊，我再也不按摩了！

Phoebe

No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!

别因为这个就不按摩了！我好多客人都这样！

Monica

Really?!

真的？！

Phoebe

Well not clients, lovers. But let's just y'know, try it again. Come back and-and we'll work through it.

不是客人，是情人。不过我们再试一次，一起克服。

Monica

Are you sure?

你确定？

Phoebe

Yes.

确定。

Monica

I guess.

好吧。

Phoebe

Great! Okay, if you'll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?

太好了！失陪一下。（对帅哥）听到喜欢的声音了？

Rachel

Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!

嘿罗斯！快看！我学会新玩法了！

Ross

Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.

嘿，我给你带了午餐。

Rachel

Ohh! That's so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?

哇！你真好！真香！（咬了一口三明治，开始恶心。）你放腌黄瓜了？

Ross

Well yeah!

对啊！

Rachel

Oh Ross!! (Runs to the bathroom and closes the door.)

罗斯！！（跑到浴室关门。）

Ross

What?! What?! Rach what?!

怎么了？！瑞秋怎么了？！

Joey

What's going on?

怎么回事？

Ross

I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.

我做了她最爱吃的金枪鱼沙拉，放了腌黄瓜。

Joey

Pickle? Pickles make her sick. Giving her pickles is like giving me salad.

腌黄瓜？她吃了会恶心。给她腌黄瓜，就像让我吃沙拉一样。

Ross

(to Rachel) I-I'm sorry Rach, I didn't know. Are you gonna be okay?

（对瑞秋）对不起，我不知道。你没事吧？

Rachel

Yeah, I'll be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?

没事。我出来前，能把三明治处理掉吗？

Joey

I'm on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)

交给我！（咬了一口三明治。）

Ross

I can't believe this! I shouldn't be the one making her throw up!

真不敢相信！我居然让她恶心了！

Joey

Dude relax! It could happen to anyone.

别紧张，谁都可能犯这种错。

Ross

Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I don't know any of it and I'm the father. I wish I'd be more involved y'know.

你不会，因为你懂这些。我什么都不懂，还是孩子爸爸。我真希望能多参与进来。

Rachel

(entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.

（出来了）记一下，我以后再也不吃金枪鱼了。

Joey

Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?

我能跟你们说件事吗？

Ross

Yeah.

说吧。

Rachel

What's up?

怎么了？

Joey

Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.

坐下吧，聊聊我们现在的情况。

Rachel

(Gasps) Are you breaking up with us?

（惊讶）你要跟我们绝交？

Joey

The thing is…'cause I live with Rachel I'm here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross…Ross is missing everything. So…

因为我和瑞秋住一起，很多事我都在场。（对瑞秋）而罗斯……罗斯错过了所有事。所以……

Rachel

Yeah?

所以？

Joey

Maybe you two should live together.

你们俩应该住在一起。

Rachel

Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?

你要我搬走？不想让我住这儿了？

Joey

Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that…if you're gonna have a roommate, y'know it might as well be the father.

不是不是，我挺喜欢和你住一起的。只是……你要找室友的话，不如找孩子爸爸。

Rachel

But Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean-(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)-Or he does.

可罗斯不一定想让我搬过去打扰他。我是说……（罗斯满怀期待地看着她。）或许他想。

Ross

No I-I-I would love to be around for you and the baby. And we-we can just try it like on a temporary basis.

我很想陪着你和宝宝。我们可以先试试，临时住一起。

Rachel

But Ross, its you and me!

可就我们俩！

Ross

So? Sure! But it-it wouldn't be anything romantic. And I'm-I'm dating Mona-Damnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!

对啊！又不是谈恋爱。我还在和莫娜约会呢，该死，我一小时前就该见她了！我怎么回事？！

Joey

All right now, so? What do you think?

好了，你们觉得呢？

Rachel

I don't know. Is it crazy?

我不知道，会不会太离谱？

Ross

No! No it's not. Joey, this is a smart idea.

一点都不离谱。乔伊这主意太棒了。

Joey

Well, I was due.

我总算出了个好主意。

Rachel

Okay, let's do it. I'll move in.

好，就这么办，我搬过去。

Ross

Really?

真的？

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Ross

Oh Rach that's great. That's great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)

太好了瑞秋，太好了。（两人拥抱，乔伊松了口气。）

Chandler

Not to shabby, I got this all off myself…using my wife's tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see what's behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!

还不错吧，我自己搞定的……用了我老婆的工具。（把门拆下来，绿色门后的景象终于曝光！里面堆满了杂物，从地板到天花板。）天啊！

Monica

(entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!

（走进来，惊讶）你怎么打开的？！

Chandler

(laughs) You're messy.

（笑）你也太乱了。

Monica

Oh no! You weren't supposed to see this!

别！你不该看到的！

Chandler

I married Fred Sanford!

我娶了个废品收藏家！

Monica

No Chandler, you don't understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? I'm y'know…I'm sick.

钱德勒，你不懂！（钱德勒开始唱《桑福德和儿子》的主题曲。）好了好了！现在你知道了。我……我有点病态。

Chandler

No, honey you're not sick! Look, I don't love you because you're organized, I love you in spite of that.

宝贝，你才不病态！我不是因为你爱整洁才爱你，是尽管你这样，我还是爱你。

Monica

Really? You promise you won't tell anyone?

真的？保证不告诉别人？

Chandler

Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.

保证！现在我知道了，我要是有多余的东西，能一起用这个储藏室吗？

Monica

Well…it's just umm…I'm afraid you might mess it up.

嗯……我怕你把里面弄乱了。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

So Rachel's all moved out huh? How are you taking it?

瑞秋都搬走了，你还好吧？

Joey

Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, it's a couple weeks past it's expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.

本来想喝啤酒，但瑞秋受不了啤酒味，我就都扔了。现在猛喝含钙橙汁，都过期两周了，喝着还挺上头。

Chandler

Are you okay?

你没事吧？

Joey

Are you kidding me? I'm great! Yeah, I'm uh; I'm better than great. I am good. And now that she's gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldn't do before. Y'know? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Y'know? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Y'know? I like being on my own, I'm uh, better off this way. I'm uh, a lone wolf. Y'know? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. What's a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)

开玩笑呢？我好得很！现在她走了，我能做以前不能做的事了。比如，我能光着身子在家里晃，能在客厅看成人电影。这样挺好的，我喜欢一个人，一个人挺好。我是孤狼，独行侠，一个人，永远一个人。这狼怎么才能得到一个拥抱啊？！（钱德勒冲过去抱住他。）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Monica

Ohhh.

哦。

Phoebe

That's it. Just relax.

对，放松就好。

Monica

Ohh. Oh! Ohh!

哦！哦！

Phoebe

Come on more!

再用力点！

Monica

Oh God!

天啊！

Phoebe

Yeah, you like that don't you?

你喜欢这样，对吧？

Monica

Oh yeah right there!

对，就是这儿！

Phoebe

You want it there? You take it there baby!

喜欢这儿？那就好好享受，宝贝！

Monica

Uh Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what she’s doing.) And now I’m going to cover you back up, and umm we’re never doing this again.

叫我的名字。叫啊！（意识到自己在干嘛，立刻停下。）我给你盖好，以后再也不按摩了。

End

剧终