The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath

Joey

(thinking) All right. It's a new day. All that stuff about Rachel, you don't feel that now. It was crazy! You're fine. You're better than fine! You are, as your friend Tony would say, Grrrreat! Everything's normal! She's just your friend Rachel! Your friend Rachel. Your friend! Rachel.

（内心独白）好吧，新的一天。关于瑞秋的那些感觉，现在都没了。太疯狂了！你没事，你好得很！就像你朋友托尼说的，超——棒！一切都很正常！她只是你的朋友瑞秋！你的朋友瑞秋。只是朋友！瑞秋。

Rachel

(coming from her room) Hi, sweetie.

（从房间走出来）嗨，亲爱的。

Joey

(thinking) Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!

（内心独白）天呐，那是你的女朋友瑞秋！

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Monica

(airily) Hi.

（轻松地）嗨。

Chandler

Are you, are you high?

你……你是不是飘了？

Monica

I just had the most amazing bath.

我刚洗了个超舒服的澡。

Chandler

Really? I don't like baths.

真的？我不喜欢泡澡。

Monica

Wait, you like them with me.

不对啊，你跟我一起就喜欢。

Chandler

Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy, it's the wet, naked lady.

亲爱的，我享受的不是泡澡，是湿漉漉、光溜溜的美女。

Monica

Oh, baths are so relaxing!

泡澡多解压啊！

Chandler

Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.

是吗？泡澡能干啥？就坐在那儿，泡在自己的脏水里呗。

Monica

How dirty do you think I am? I'm telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.

你觉得我有多脏？跟你说，点上蜡烛、放些泡泡、再放点音乐，你肯定会爱上泡澡的！所有压力都能一扫而空。

Chandler

Honey, it's 2:00 on a Wednesday and I'm watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?

亲爱的，现在是周三下午两点，我在看《道路规则》，你觉得我能有多大压力？

Joey

(entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.

（走进来）嘿，钱德，有空吗？我……我有件事想跟你聊聊。

Chandler

Oh! Uh, yeah! Is this a cold pizza talk or a leftover meatloaf talk?

哦！嗯，有空！是冷披萨级别的谈心，还是剩肉糕级别的谈心？

Joey

Well, neither.

都不是。

Chandler

Oh my God, what's up?!

天呐，出什么事了？！

Joey

I don't know. It's-it's just…lately, I've been feeling… Okay, here's what it is… (Pause) You know what? I feel a lot better, thanks! (Starts to leave)

我也不知道。就是……最近，我总感觉……算了，跟你说吧……（停顿）算了，没事了，我好多了，谢谢！（准备离开）

Chandler

Oh no-no, no you don't, just come back.

别别别，别走，回来。

Joey

All right. Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time, and sure there are rules, but then you went to London. Oh, no, but that's different. I mean, there are rules there, too! You know what I mean?

好吧。你和莫妮卡，做了很久朋友，本来有各种规矩，但后来你们去了伦敦。不过那不一样，伦敦也有规矩啊！你懂我的意思吧？

Chandler

Do you?

你懂吗？

Joey

It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?

你们俩情况不一样！我的意思是，你们当时在同一个地方，对吧？

Chandler

In London?

在伦敦的时候？

Joey

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.

是啊。我和莫妮卡在伦敦的时候，我们俩都在伦敦。

Joey

You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.

算了，这事不该说。当我没说。还有，帮我个忙，今天这话就咱俩知道。

Chandler

If that.

那是自然。

Rachel

Hi! Oh, Ross, don't forget, we have that doctor's appointment tomorrow!

嗨！哦，罗斯，别忘了，明天我们要去看医生！

Ross

Right.

记得。

Phoebe

Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?

嘿，你们打算提前知道宝宝性别吗？

Ross

No-no, we talked about it. We don't want to know. All we care about is that it's happy and healthy.

不打算，我们商量过了。不想知道，只希望宝宝健康快乐就好。

Rachel

Yep! Happy and healthy! And cute!

对！健康快乐！还要可爱！

Ross

And smart!

还要聪明！

Rachel

Popular.

还要受欢迎。

Ross

With an aptitude for science.

还要有科学天赋。

Phoebe

Are you two talking about the same baby? Hey! Have you started off thinking of names yet?

你们俩说的是同一个宝宝吗？对了！开始想名字了吗？

Rachel

Oh yeah! I've come up with a bunch of ideas!

当然！我想了好多个！

Ross

Really? Me too!

真的？我也是！

Phoebe

Me too!

我也是！

Rachel

Really?!

真的？！

Phoebe

Uh huh! If it's a girl, Phoebe, and if it's a boy, Phoebo!

嗯！女孩就叫菲比，男孩就叫菲波！

Ross

Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)

也行。不过备个备选名字也不错，对吧？嗯，瑞秋，你想了什么？（看了她一眼）

Rachel

Okay! I was thinking if it's a girl, how about Sandrine? It's French.

好！我想女孩的话，叫桑德琳怎么样？是个法国名字。

Ross

Huh. That's a really pretty name for-for an industrial solvent.

哈。这名字挺好听的，适合……工业溶剂。

Rachel

Okay fine, what do you have?

行吧，那你想了什么？

Ross

Well, OK, it's for a boy. Well, I know it's a little out there, but…Darwin.

嗯，男孩名。我知道有点奇怪，不过……达尔文。

Rachel

Wow, oh my God, our child will be beaten to death in the schoolyard.

天呐，我们孩子会在学校被揍惨的。

Phoebe

Yeah, by Sandrine.

没错，被叫桑德琳的揍。

Ross

You're just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!

你就是因为我不同意你的名字才这么说！

Rachel

I'm really, really not.

真不是。

Phoebe

How-how about you each get five vetoes?

要不这样，你们每人有五次否决权？

Ross

All right.

好。

Rachel

All right.

好。

Ross

That sounds fair.

挺公平的。

Rachel

Yeah! I don't think you're going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If it's a girl, Rain.

对！不过我觉得你根本用不上。来，再想一个。女孩叫雷恩。

Ross

Veto.

否决。

Rachel

Why?

为什么？

Ross

Rain? Hi. Hi, my name is Rain. I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat.

雷恩？“嗨，我叫雷恩。我有自己的窑炉，裙子是小麦做的。”

Phoebe

I know her! I bought homemade soap from her at a Dead show!

我认识她！我在一场感恩而死乐队演出上，买过她的手工皂！

Ross

Okay, how about, for a guy, Thatcher?

好了，男孩名，撒切尔怎么样？

Rachel

Ross, why do you hate our child?

罗斯，你是恨我们孩子吗？

Ross

Fine, you go.

行，你说。

Rachel

Okay, James.

好，詹姆斯。

Ross

Huh.

嗯。

Rachel

But only if it's a girl.

不过仅限女孩。

Ross

Oh, veto. How about-Ooh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth?

哦，否决。嗯……我喜欢露丝！露丝怎么样？

Rachel

Oh! I'm sorry! Are we having an 89-year-old? How about Dayton?

哦！拜托！我们是要生个89岁的老太太吗？戴顿怎么样？

Ross

Veto. Stewart?

否决。斯图尔特？

Rachel

Veto. Sawyer?

否决。索耶？

Ross

Veto. Helen?

否决。海伦？

Rachel

Veto.

否决。

Phoebe

Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?

是我错觉吗？怎么觉得“否决”这个词越来越好听了？

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Boy, do I have a surprise for you!

天呐，我给你准备了惊喜！

Chandler

Sex on the balcony?

阳台激情？

Monica

No, but someone's really not going to get over that idea, are they?

不是，不过某人是一直惦记这事，对吧？

Chandler

What is it?

什么惊喜？

Monica

I drew you a bath!

我给你放好洗澡水了！

Chandler

Honey, I don't like baths! Could you draw me a picture of us having sex on the balcony?

亲爱的，我不喜欢泡澡！你不如画张我们阳台激情的画吧？

Monica

Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So it's a boy bath!

拜托，就为我试一次嘛！我用了最好的东西！点了蜡烛、放了音乐、用了浴盐，还有泡泡浴！还给你准备了这个塑料海军小船，妥妥的男生泡澡配置！

Chandler

Well, this does butch it up a bit.

嗯，这个确实阳刚多了。

Monica

I swear, if you try it, you will love it!

我发誓，你试一次肯定会爱上的！

Chandler

All right, if I do this, can we at least discuss sex on the balcony?

行，我试可以，那我们至少能聊聊阳台激情的事吧？

Monica

Absolutely.

没问题。

(Chandler runs into the bathroom)

（钱德冲进浴室）

Monica

Bet I know how that discussion's going to go.

我都能猜到聊出来啥结果。

Chandler

(thinking) All right, this isn't so bad. I like the flower smell! Which is okay, because I've got my boat.

（内心独白）嗯，好像也不差。花香挺好闻的！没事，我还有我的小船呢。

Monica

(entering) So?

（走进来）怎么样？

Chandler

Oh my God.

天呐。

Monica

I told you you were a bath person! Hey, when you get out, maybe I can give you a facial!

我就说你是泡澡爱好者吧！对了，你洗完出来，我给你做个面部护理吧！

Chandler

I'm going to need a bigger boat.

我需要一艘更大的船。

Ross

I don't think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?

我觉得你对露丝这个名字太偏见了。你想啊，小露丝·盖勒，多可爱啊？

Rachel

Oh, oh my God! I can practically hear the mahjong tiles!

天呐！我都能听到麻将牌的声音了！

Dr. Long

Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?

好了！所有检查结果都很好。现在，你们俩想知道宝宝性别吗？

Ross

Uh, no. No, we're not.

嗯，不想，我们不想知道。

Rachel

But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?

但结果就在这份文件里吧？你现在就能告诉我们是男孩还是女孩？是戴顿还是桑德琳？菲比还是菲波？

Dr. Long

That's right. But if you don't want to know…

没错。但如果你们不想知道……

Ross

No, no, we want to wait, right?

不想，我们想等生下来再知道，对吧？

Rachel

Right. Right.

对，没错。

Dr. Long

(looks at her beeping pager) Oh, I'll be right back. And, uh, I know it's really not my place, but please don't name your child Phoebo.

（看了看响个不停的传呼机）我马上回来。还有，嗯，我知道不该多嘴，但千万别给孩子取名叫菲波。

Rachel

(looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?

（看着贴满婴儿照片的公告板）你觉得这些宝宝里，哪个最丑？

Ross

What? Rach! Come on, that's terrible! They're…uh…they're babies. They're-they're all beautiful.

什么？瑞秋！别这么说，太过分了！他们都是……小婴儿，都很可爱。

Rachel

Third one from the left?

左边第三个？

Ross

Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows I'm talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Don't-don't you-Wh-Wha-Hey!!

是啊，它干嘛一直盯着我？好像知道我在说它。（瑞秋偷偷瞟文件）别……你别……喂！！

Rachel

What?!

怎么了？！

Ross

You're looking!

你在偷看！

Rachel

I didn't!

我没有！

Ross

I saw you!

我都看见了！

Rachel

Okay fine, I did. But I didn't see anything, I swear.

好吧，我看了。但我什么都没看到，我发誓。

Ross

Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!

真不害臊！丑宝宝都在鄙视你！

Rachel

Okay, but Ross just listen to me…

好了，罗斯你听我说……

Ross

No, no, no, no! Don't tell me! I don't want to know!

不听不听！别告诉我！我不想知道！

Rachel

But I couldn't even if I wanted to, because I don't know! I swear; I didn't see anything, and I don't want to know! It was just a momentary lapse.

我就算想说也说不了，因为我真没看到！我发誓，我什么都没看见，也不想知道！就是一时没忍住。

Ross

Momentary lapse. Don't-don't you have any self-control?

一时没忍住。你就一点自制力都没有吗？

Rachel

(holding stomach) Okay, a couple months late on the lecture, Ross.

（摸着肚子）这话你早该说，晚了好几个月了，罗斯。

Monica

Hello?

有人吗？

Chandler

I'm in the bathroom, can you come in here? I think there's something wrong.

我在浴室，你能进来一下吗？我好像搞砸了。

Monica

You know what? I-I think I'll wait out here.

算了，我还是在外面等吧。

Chandler

I'm in the bathtub.

我在浴缸里呢。

Monica

Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) What's wrong?

哦。（走进浴室）怎么了？

Chandler

I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The water's tepid. The salt didn't dissolve and is now… lodged places. And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile-Oh!

我自己放水泡澡，结果搞砸了！水不热不冷的，浴盐没化开，现在……卡在缝里了。而且我用的精油味道还相冲，桉树和洋甘菊——天呐！

Monica

What?

怎么了？

Chandler

The bath salts! They're starting to effervesce! It's different. (Pause) It's interesting.

浴盐！开始冒泡了！感觉有点怪。（停顿）还挺有意思。

Monica

Okay, let's talk about something else.

好了，我们聊点别的吧。

Chandler

Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!

好！没问题。你今天过得怎么样？哦！

Monica

Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and…

我今天跟乔伊聊了个超奇怪的天，他一直在说规矩、对错之类的……

Chandler

I had the exact same conversation.

我也跟他聊了一模一样的内容。

Monica

You did? What was he talking about?

真的？他说什么了？

Chandler

I don't know! Joey hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since we saw him in Macbeth!

我也不知道！自从上次看他演《麦克白》，乔伊就没这么语无伦次过！

Monica

(groans) That was a long night.

（叹气）那晚可太煎熬了。

Chandler

All right, let's break this down. What exactly did he say to you?

好了，我们捋一捋。他具体跟你说什么了？

Monica

Okay, he was talking about rules.

他一直在说规矩。

Chandler

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Monica

Umm, and looking at people differently.

还有，对某人的感觉变了。

Chandler

He didn't say anything about that to me.

他没跟我说这个。

Monica

What did he tell you?

那他跟你说什么了？

Chandler

He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.

他一直问我关于你、我还有伦敦的事，还有把这些串起来的核心——规矩。

Monica

Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.

明白了。你、我、伦敦，还有对某人动心。说不定他想像我们在伦敦那样，和某人发展感情。

Chandler

But what did he mean by rules?

那他说的规矩是什么意思？

Monica

Wait a minute! He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in!

等等！菲比一进来，他就不说了！

Chandler

Because he was looking at her differently.

因为他对菲比动心了。

Monica

And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules!

菲比是他朋友，所以他觉得这么做破坏了朋友间的规矩！

Chandler

My God! He wants to do it with Phoebe in London!

天呐！他想和菲比在伦敦发展感情！

Phoebe

(from outside the bathroom) You guys?

（浴室门外）你们在吗？

Monica

Just a minute! (To Chandler) That's Mrs. Tribbiani!

等一下！（对钱德）是崔比安尼夫人！

Chandler

You don't say anything.

你啥都别说。

Monica

Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?

我为啥不说？我们两个最好的朋友要开启一段绝美爱情，他们还得感谢我，我们以后还能一起生宝宝！

Chandler

I'm not going to let you say anything.

我不许你说。

Monica

You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)

你待着别动！（把一罐浴盐倒进浴缸）

Chandler

Oh, God!

天呐！

(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)

（莫妮卡跑到厨房找菲比）

Phoebe

Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.

哦，嗨，莫妮卡，我把你的熨斗拿回来了。

Monica

Oh, you had that?

哦，在你这儿啊？

Phoebe

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Monica

I thought I lost it. I got a new one, like, a month ago.

我还以为丢了呢，一个月前新买了一个。

Phoebe

Oh, just as well, I broke this one.

没事，这个被我弄坏了。

(Monica starts smiling)

（莫妮卡笑了起来）

Phoebe

What?

笑什么？

Monica

Nothing.

没什么。

Phoebe

Okay.

哦。

Monica

I mean, I-I, I really shouldn't say. I mean, I'm really not supposed to.

其实……我不该说的，我真不能说。

Phoebe

Fine.

行吧。

Monica

It's a humdinger!

这事可劲爆了！

Phoebe

Then it's really too bad that you can't tell me.

那你不能说，可太可惜了。

Monica

Somebody likes you!

有人喜欢你！

Phoebe

(Groans) Is it Chandler?

（叹气）是钱德吗？

Monica

No!

不是！

Phoebe

Well, then tell him to stop staring!

那让他别老盯着我看！

Monica

It's Joey!

是乔伊！

Phoebe

Really?! Joey?! You don't say.

真的？！乔伊？！真没想到。

Monica

Is it something you'd be interested in?

你对他有感觉吗？

Phoebe

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But y'know on the other hand… No. No, I can't. We're friends. No, oh, no. I don't want to risk what we have.

不知道，不知道，不知道。一方面觉得可以试试，另一方面又觉得……不行。我们是朋友，我不想破坏我们的友谊。

Monica

I guess that makes sense. So, you think you're going to talk to him?

也对。那你打算跟他聊聊吗？

Phoebe

Sure, yeah. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt. Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey!

当然，毕竟是乔伊，我不想让他难过。说真的，我太受欢迎了！先是钱德，现在又是乔伊！

Monica

Not Chandler, just Joey.

不是钱德，就乔伊。

Phoebe

Sure.

行吧。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

Hey.

嘿。

Rachel

You know what? I've been thinking about it. I'm really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.

跟你说，我想了想，露丝这个名字我其实能接受了，真可以考虑用这个名字。

Ross

Rach, I-I can't tell you how-how much that means to me! Ohh… Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You-you hated the name Ruth! Why-why would you change your mind? Unless, you know we're never going to have to use it. You did see the folder. You know it's a boy!

瑞秋，这对我来说意义太大了！哦……等等，不对。你之前明明讨厌露丝这个名字，怎么突然改主意了？除非……你知道我们用不上这个名字，你偷看文件了，知道是男孩！

Rachel

I didn't see anything! I actually changed my mind about the name.

我没偷看！我就是单纯改变想法了。

Ross

I don't think so! You're just giving me Ruth so you'll get to name it when it's a boy, and that's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.

我才不信！你同意露丝，就是想等确定是男孩后，你再取名，到时候直接叫希思、布莱恩或者红杉。

Rachel

I would-Sequoia?

我才不会……红杉？

Ross

Veto.

否决。

Rachel

Fine.

行吧。

Ross

Unless… (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!

除非……（瑞秋叹气）你早就料到我会这么想，其实你知道是女孩，真心想取名叫露丝！我才不上当！露丝这个名字作废！

Rachel

But Ross, you want the name Ruth!

但你明明喜欢露丝这个名字！

Ross

Not like this!

我不想这么定！

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

Hey. Well, what's up?

嘿。怎么了？

Phoebe

Umm, Joey, I know.

嗯，乔伊，我知道了。

Joey

What?

知道什么？

Phoebe

I knooow.

我知道啦。

Joey

Whaaat?

到底什么？

Phoebe

I know about your feelings.

我知道你心里的感觉了。

Joey

Oh my God. You do?

天呐，你知道了？

Phoebe

Yes, and I'm sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's very rare.

嗯，抱歉。我知道钱德和莫妮卡成了，但这种情况很少见。

Joey

I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, it's Rachel for God sakes.

我知道。而且我们这比他们复杂多了，毕竟是瑞秋啊。

Phoebe

For God sakes, it's Rachel!

可不是嘛，是瑞秋！

Joey

I know. I know. And she's not only my friend; she's my pregnant friend! She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!

我懂。她不只是我朋友，还是我怀着孕的朋友，还是罗斯的前女友！

Phoebe

Yeah that's Rachel. (To herself) Beat me over the head with it.

是啊，这就是瑞秋。（自言自语）说得我都懵了。

Joey

What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, y'know? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I don't like about her. You want to hear it?

我该怎么办？我一直想忘掉这些感觉，昨晚熬夜列了个我不喜欢她的地方清单，要听吗？

Phoebe

Yeah.

好啊。

Joey

She made me switch to light Mayo. That's it! That's all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!

她让我换低脂蛋黄酱。就这个！就这一个！而且你知道吗？味道一样，裤子还更合身了！

Phoebe

Joey, I just think you're getting worked up over nothing. This is probably just a crush.

乔伊，你就是想太多了，这估计就是一时迷恋。

Joey

You think?

你真这么觉得？

Phoebe

Absolutely! Y'know, you get this rush of feelings, but then it goes away.

肯定的！这种感觉来得快，去得也快。

Joey

Yeah, just a crush! That's all this is! It's a crush! I'm Joey; I don't get deep feelings.

对，就是一时迷恋！仅此而已！我是乔伊，我不会陷得太深。

Phoebe

That's right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know I've had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And I'm sure you've had them for us.

没错！一时迷恋很正常！我对你们所有人都有过，除了罗斯和钱德。你肯定也对我们有过。

Joey

Not really.

好像没有。

Phoebe

Mm-hmm. (To herself) Throw me a bone here.

嗯。（自言自语）给我个台阶下呗。

Ross

So, I uh… I called the doctor and now we both know the sex of the baby.

我……我给医生打电话了，现在我们都知道宝宝性别了。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

That's right. The student has become the master.

没错，徒弟超过师傅了。

Rachel

Ross, I swear, I don't know.

罗斯，我发誓，我真不知道。

Ross

Oh, come on, you know it's a girl!

别装了，你知道是女孩！

Rachel

A what?!

什么？！

Ross

You really didn't know?

你真不知道？

Rachel

We're having a girl?

我们怀的是女孩？

Ross

No.

不是。

Rachel

That's what you just said!

你刚才明明说女孩！

Ross

No.

没有。

Rachel

You said girl!

你说了！

Ross

Yes. I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

嗯……对不起，太抱歉了。

Rachel

I'm not! We're having a girl! Sometimes I can't believe it's with you-But still! We're having a girl!

我不生气！我们有女儿了！有时候我都不敢相信是和你一起，但还是好开心！我们有女儿了！

Ross

I know! I know. You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table!

我知道！我知道！跟你说，露丝这个名字可以考虑了！

Rachel

Oh, yes! We'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth…

好！我们的小露丝……

Ross

Permission to veto.

允许否决。

Rachel

Yes, please.

麻烦了。

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Do I smell essential oils?

我闻到精油味了？

Monica

Yeah, I'm going to take a bath. I'm just going to get a magazine.

嗯，我要去泡澡，去拿本杂志。

(As soon as Monica leaves the room, Chandler takes off his jacket and runs to the bathroom. Monica enters the bathroom to find Chandler in the bathtub.)

（莫妮卡一离开房间，钱德就脱了外套冲进浴室。莫妮卡回到浴室，发现钱德躺在浴缸里。）

Monica

What do you think you're doing?

你在干嘛？

Chandler

L-leaving my troubles behind?

把烦恼抛到脑后？

Monica

I know that you're new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.

我知道你刚学泡澡，但这也太没规矩了。

Chandler

Oh, it's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.

这么放松的时候，谁还管规矩啊。

Monica

Fine, you can have the bath, but I am taking your boat. Now you're just a girl in a tub!

行，你泡吧，但小船归我了，现在你就是浴缸里的小女生！

(Phoebe enters the bathroom)

（菲比走进浴室）

Chandler

(upset) Hey!

（生气）喂！

Phoebe

Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey.

嗨，泡泡男。我就是过来跟你说下乔伊的事。

Chandler

(To Monica) You told her?!

（对莫妮卡）你跟她说了？！

Monica

She pulled it out of me! She's like a conversational wizard! How'd it go?

是她逼我说的！她太会套话了！结果怎么样？

Phoebe

Well, you were wrong, he doesn't like me!

你们猜错了，他不喜欢我！

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors' house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel?

是啊！要是我告诉你李·梅杰斯喜欢你，让你去他家，结果你去了发现他根本不喜欢你，你什么感受？

Monica

(Pause) I don't think I'd care.

（停顿）我应该无所谓。

Phoebe

Really? Lee Majors is hot!

真的？李·梅杰斯超帅的！

Joey

(from outside the bathroom) Hello?

（浴室门外）有人吗？

Phoebe

We're in the bathroom!

我们在浴室！

Joey

Why?

干嘛呢？

Chandler

(sarcastically) Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time!

（讽刺地）因为泡澡超放松、超享受啊！

Joey

(entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?

（走进浴室）你们在这儿干嘛？

Monica

Oh my God! A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong. It's Rachel!

天呐！他动心的朋友不是菲比，是瑞秋！

Chandler

You like Rachel?!

你喜欢瑞秋？！

Joey

It's no big deal, okay? Phoebe and I talked about it. It's just a crush! It's going to go away! (Looks down) Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles! Oh!

没什么大不了的，好吗？我和菲比聊过了，就是一时迷恋，很快就会过去的！（低头看）兄弟，泡泡该遮一下了！哦！

Phoebe

(checking for herself) (To Monica) Mazel tov.

（低头确认后，对莫妮卡）恭喜。

Rachel

(entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)

（走进来）嘿！我和罗斯找你们呢！你们都在这儿干嘛？（看到钱德）天呐！（挡住了乔伊说的地方。）

Monica

Honey, cover it up with the boat!

亲爱的，用小船挡住！

Ross

(from outside the bathroom) Hello?

（浴室门外）有人吗？

Chandler

(sarcastically) Yes we're all in here and we would love for you to join us!

（讽刺地）在呢，都在，快来一起泡澡啊！

Ross

(entering) Well hey! What's going on? Ooh, cool boat-(Sees why the boat's there)-Oh, no. (Averts his eyes by looking around the room) (To Rachel) Hey, did you, did you tell them?

（走进来）嘿！怎么了？哇，好酷的小船——（看到小船的用途）哦，天呐。（转头看向别处）（对瑞秋）你跟他们说了吗？

Rachel

No, I was waiting for you!

没有，等你说呢！

Phoebe

Tell us what?

说什么？

Rachel

We're having a girl.

我们怀的是女孩。

All

Oh, wow! Yay! Wow! Hooray! Oh, man!

哇！太棒了！天呐！

(They all hug and then turn and look at Chandler)

（大家互相拥抱，然后转头看向钱德）

Chandler

I'll…I'll get you later!

我……我之后再找你们算账！

Joey

(thinking) All right. It's a new day, and it's just a crush, that's all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everything's going to be fine. It's just a crush.

（内心独白）好吧，新的一天。就是一时迷恋，仅此而已！小小的迷恋！之前的担心都是瞎想，太疯狂了！就像我身边这只小鸟说的，“疯了”！一切都会好的，就是一时迷恋。

Rachel

(entering) Hi, sweetie.

（走进来）嗨，亲爱的。

Joey

(thinking) I love you.

（内心独白）我爱你。

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Monica

It sure is nice to do this together, isn't it?

一起泡澡真舒服，对吧？

Chandler

Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good.

是啊，你这样弄好舒服。

Monica

I'm not touching you.

我没碰你啊。

Chandler

You're not?

你没碰？

Monica

It's the salts.

是浴盐的效果。

Chandler

Oh, sweet Lord. New realms of pleasure!

天呐，太爽了！打开新世界大门了！

Monica

(To herself) Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy!

（自言自语）只要能让你不想阳台那事就行，小家伙！

End

剧终