The One Where Joey Dates Rachel

Phoebe

Hey! I got you a present!!

嘿！我给你们带了份礼物！！

Chandler

Oh my goodness! Where did you hide it?

哦天啊！你把它藏哪儿了？

Phoebe

I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!

这是给你们的结婚礼物，我几周前就订了，终于到了！

Chandler

Pheebs you didn't have to get us anything for our wedding you already sang…

菲比，你不用给我们准备结婚礼物的，你都已经献唱了……

Monica

(interrupting) I love it! It's huge!! Let's open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)

（打断）我太喜欢了！好大啊！！快打开！打开！！（莫妮卡撕开包装纸）

Phoebe

It's a Ms. Pac-Man machine!!

是一台吃豆人小姐游戏机！！

Monica

Oh my God!

哦我的天！

Phoebe

I didn't know where to put it so I just left it here for now.

我不知道放哪儿好，就先放这儿了。

Monica

Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.

好吧，或许可以放客房。

Chandler

Oh, okay.

哦，好的。

Monica

All right. (He goes to push it and it doesn't move.)

好啦。（钱德去推游戏机，却推不动）

Chandler

I kinda like it here.

我觉得放这儿挺好。

Phoebe

Do you really like it?

你们真的喜欢吗？

Monica

Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is like-Oh my, this is like my second favorite game!

开玩笑呢？！我童年几乎都泡在游戏厅里！这简直——天啊，这是我第二喜欢的游戏！

Phoebe

Oh really? What was your first?

哦是吗？那你最喜欢的是什么？

Monica

Well I-I really don't remember the name of it.

我……我真不记得名字了。

Chandler

Well what did it do?

那游戏是干嘛的？

Monica

Well, you just-you put a quarter in and y'know pull-pull some handles and win like a candy bar or something.

就是……投个25美分硬币，拉几下把手，就能赢块糖之类的。

Chandler

A vending machine?

自动售货机？

Monica

Don't feel bad for me! I won like every time!

别可怜我！我每次都能赢！

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Ross

Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you guys are here. I've been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.

嘿！太好了你们都在。我迫不及待想跟人说今天古生物系发生的事。

Joey

(To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?

（对瑞秋）你说他看到我们了吗？我们还能偷偷溜掉吗？

Ross

Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so….

系主任纽曼教授，他要退休了，所以……

Rachel

They made you head of the department!

他们让你当系主任了！

Ross

No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didn't I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)

不是，我能代教他的一门高级课程了！（停顿）我怎么没当上系主任呢？（走去倒咖啡）

Joey

Oh! Hey Rach, listen umm…

哦！嘿瑞秋，听我说……

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Joey

I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?

我有个重要约会，你知道哪家餐厅好吗？

Rachel

Uh, Paul's Café. They got great food and it's really romantic.

嗯，保罗咖啡馆。东西好吃，还特别浪漫。

Joey

Ooh, great! Thanks!

哦，太棒了！谢谢！

Rachel

Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancing-Oh! Take her dancing!

不客气！哦，吃完可以带她去四季酒店喝东西，或者去市中心听爵士，跳舞也行——对！带她去跳舞！

Joey

You sure are naming a lot of ways to postpone sex, I'll tell ya…

你说了这么多推迟上床的办法，我算是服了……

Rachel

Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin' all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. I'm not gonna be able to do that for so long, and it's so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.

唉，我怀念约会的日子。精心打扮，去高级餐厅。我好久都不能这么做了，明明那么好玩！我不是说在家担心生个16磅的宝宝不好玩啊。

Joey

Hey, y'know what?

嘿，你知道吗？

Rachel

Huh?

嗯？

Joey

Why don't I take you out?

我带你出去约会吧？

Rachel

What?! Joey, you don't want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.

什么？！乔伊，你才不想和孕妇约会呢。

Joey

Yes I do! And we're gonna go out, we're gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of child birth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out…

我想！我们出去好好玩，让你别老想着分娩、剖腹产还有……还有宝宝大脑袋撑出来的事……

Rachel

(interrupting) Okay! I'll go with ya! I'll go! I'll go with ya.

（打断）好！我跟你去！我去！我跟你去。

Joey

I'll be fun.

肯定很好玩。

Rachel

All right?

真的？

Phoebe

No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.

不。不对！对了！啊。哦，莫妮卡你看？我刚把你所有最高分都超了，真可惜。

Monica

Okay, I'm next. (Phoebe starts another game.) Don't! Don't start another game! I said I'm next! Phoebe!

好了，该我了。（菲比又开了一局）别玩！别开新局！我说该我了！菲比！

Phoebe

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you over all the winning.

哦，抱歉。我玩得太投入，没听见。

Monica

Chandler! Phoebe's hogging the game!

钱德！菲比霸着游戏机不放！

Chandler

Who cares? It's a stupid game.

谁在乎啊？这游戏傻透了。

Monica

You only think it's stupid because you suck at it.

你觉得傻是因为你玩得烂。

Chandler

I don't suck. It's sucks. You suck.

我才不烂。是游戏烂，你才烂。

Phoebe

Wait okay, if this game is gonna cause problems between the two of you, then maybe I should just keep it.

这样吧，如果这游戏让你们俩闹矛盾，那我还是自己留着好了。

Monica

No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why don't you go home and wait for the thank you card?

别！千万别！我超喜欢，这礼物太棒了！要不你先回家等我写感谢信？

Chandler

Why do you want to play this game so bad?

你怎么这么想玩这游戏？

Phoebe

Yeah! It's not like it spits out a Clark bar after every game.

就是！又不是玩完一局就吐块克拉克糖出来。

Monica

Okay. Phoebe that's it. Come on, get out-out of the chair. Get out! (She goes to move Phoebe, but Phoebe goes limp and Monica can't move her.) Oh come…Phoebe!

行了菲比，够了。快从椅子上起来，起来！（莫妮卡去拉菲比，菲比故意瘫软不动，拉不动）拜托……菲比！

Rachel

Joey? Could you get that? (There is no answer and she goes and opens the door to Joey.) What are you doing here? I thought you were in your room?

乔伊？能开下门吗？（没人回应，瑞秋走去开门，看到乔伊站在门口）你怎么在这儿？我以为你在自己房间。

Joey

No, I'm picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)

不是，我来接你约会。送你的。（递给她一束花）

Rachel

Ohh, Lilies. Joey, they're my favorite. Thank you.

哇，百合。乔伊，这是我最喜欢的花，谢谢。

Joey

And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, it's just bag. It's been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin' to feel faint so…

还有块布朗尼！（递给她一个装着布朗尼的袋子）嗯，半块。其实就剩个袋子了。从花店走过来太远，我快饿晕了，所以……

Rachel

Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like I'm going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and I'm wearing underwear that goes up to about…(She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts)…there.

天啊！太美好了！我真的感觉像在正式约会！虽然有点孕吐，而且我穿的内裤腰都快到……（扯了扯内裤松紧带，刚好在胸口下方）……这儿了。

Joey

Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so…nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.

别管这个，咱们是正式约会。嗯……你这儿真不错，桌上足球，披萨盒，还有《花花公子》订阅，我喜欢的类型。

Rachel

Yeah, actually that's my roommate's.

那是我室友的。

Joey

I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.

我倒想见见他，听着人挺靠谱。

Rachel

Ah yes, but he's very protective of me so you'd better watch yourself.

是啊，不过他特别护着我，你可得小心点。

Joey

Ah… Hey, so this roommate of yours…is he good looking?

啊……你室友长得帅吗？

Rachel

Hm-mmm.

嗯。

Joey

Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?

那你肯定很难把持住自己吧？

Rachel

(laughs) Yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's gay.

（笑）是啊，不过我确定他是同性恋。

Joey

No-no-no-no, he's not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!

才不是！别这么说，破坏气氛嘛，别这样！

Ross

…which brings us back of course to Greely's theory of dominance. (The bell rings.) Okay, that-that's all for today. Oh, uh does anyone know where the Freeman building is?

……这就回到了格里利的优势理论。（下课铃响）好了，今天就到这儿。哦，有人知道弗里曼楼在哪儿吗？

Student

Yeah, it's the new building on Avenue A.

知道，A大道的新楼。

Ross

What?! That-that's all the way cross town, I'm supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.

什么？！那在城市另一头，我十分钟后要去那儿上研究生研讨课。

Student

Ooh, dude. That's not gonna happen.

哥们儿，那可来不及。

(Ross grabs his things and runs to the door only to be blocked by his exiting students.)

（罗斯抓起东西冲向门口，却被下课的学生堵住）

Ross

Move it! Move it! Move it!! Hey!!! I'm the teacher!!

让开！让开！让开！喂！我是老师！！

Ross

Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) I'm sorry I'm a little late. Ah-(Checks his watch)-Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, I'm Professor Geller. Good job today.

大家好。（把外套扔向衣架，没扔中）抱歉我来晚了。呃——（看表）哇，来太晚了。先自我介绍一下，我是盖勒教授。（上课铃响）总结一下，我是盖勒教授，今天大家表现不错。

Rachel

Now the filet mignon, what comes with that?

菲力牛排配什么？

Waitress

There's a side of steamed vegetables.

配蒸蔬菜。

Rachel

Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?

嗯，能把蔬菜换成三磅的龙虾吗？

Joey

Y'know what? Bring her both, and I'll have the same. (The waitress leaves.)

都给她上，我也一样。（服务员离开）

Rachel

Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good date-Oh, I almost forgot. I didn't pay you the rent check.

哇，这约会越来越像样了——哦差点忘了，我还没给你房租支票呢。

Joey

Oh whoa-whoa-whoa, no roommate stuff. Okay? We're on a date.

别提室友的事，好吗？我们在约会。

Rachel

Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?

好。哇，我终于能看看乔伊·崔比安尼约会什么样了。你有什么约会招数吗？

Joey

No! No. Umm, just myself and if they don't like me for-(Laughs.) I'm sorry I couldn't even get through that.

没有！嗯，就做我自己，要是她们不喜欢我——（笑）抱歉，这话我自己都说不下去。

Rachel

I knew it! I knew it. Come on tell me your moves.

我就知道！快说说你的招数。

Joey

Oh alright. Umm, well, okay, I usually start by having a bottle of wine sent to my table from a fan.

好吧。嗯，我通常会让“粉丝”送一瓶酒到我桌上。

Rachel

Oh my God. And that works?!

天啊，这有用吗？！

Joey

Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"

配上一句“太尴尬了，我只想过普通人的生活”就有用。

Rachel

Oh, you poor little famous man.

可怜的小名人啊。

Joey

Oh okay, how about this one. I was gonna wait until the end of the night to kiss you, but you're so beautiful…I don't think I can.

再教你一招。我本来想等约会结束再吻你，但你太美了……我忍不住了。

Rachel

(looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!

（感兴趣地）天啊！太绝了，我差点就凑上去了，真的差点！

Joey

Alright, so…so tell me one of your moves.

好了，说说你的约会招数。

Rachel

Alright. So where'd you grow up?

好。你在哪儿长大的？

Joey

That's your move? Boy Rach, you're lucky you're hot.

这就是招数？瑞秋，也就你长得好看，不然早没戏了。

Rachel

Come on, just answer the question!

别废话，快回答！

Joey

(exasperated) Queens.

（无奈）皇后区。

Rachel

And so were-were you close to your parents?

你和父母亲近吗？

Joey

Yeah, with my mom. Yeah, not so much with my dad.

和我妈亲，和我爸不怎么亲。

Rachel

Why not?

为什么？

Joey

I don't know. I guess there's just always been this distance y'know-I mean we both try to pretend it's not there, but it is.

不知道，可能就是有隔阂吧。我们都假装没有，但确实存在。

Rachel

(sympathetic) Oh. (Starts rubbing his wrist with her fingers.) It's gotta be rough.

（同情）哦。（用手指轻轻摩挲他的手腕）肯定不好受。

Joey

Yeah, it is. It's really tough. Y'know sometimes I think-Wow!! Nice move!

是啊，特别难受。有时候我觉得——哇！好招数！

Rachel

Huh?

啊？

Joey

"Where'd you grow up," it's so simple!

“你在哪儿长大的”，这招太简单好用了！

Rachel

Thank you! And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.

谢谢！失陪一下，我去洗手间。

Joey

Yeah.

好。

(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)

（瑞秋起身走向洗手间）

Rachel

And now you're watching me walk away.

你在目送我离开呢。

Joey

Yes I am! Again so simple!

是啊！又是简单好用的一招！

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

You are not going to believe what I did today!

你绝对想不到我今天干了什么！

Monica

Well it clearly wasn't showering or shaving.

反正肯定不是洗澡刮胡子。

Chandler

I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they don't.

我变厉害了！玩了一整天，现在我无敌了！该改名叫钱德小姐了。（停顿）不过还是别改了。

Monica

Wait a minute, you stayed home all day and played Ms. Pac-Man while I went off to work like some kind of chump?!

你在家玩了一整天游戏机，我却像傻子一样去上班？！

Chandler

Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he can't straighten his fingers.)

是啊，前十名都是我的，菲比的记录全被我刷掉了！击掌！（伸手想和莫妮卡击掌，手指却伸不直）

Monica

What is the matter with your hand?

你手怎么了？

Chandler

Well I've been playing it for like eight hours, it'll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, they're dirty words.

玩了八个小时，僵住了，活动下就好。快来看分数，还有我留的缩写，都是脏话。

Monica

Chandler, why would you do that?

钱德，你干嘛这么做？

Chandler

Because it's awesome.

好玩啊。

Monica

You think this is clever?

你觉得很聪明？

Chandler

Well y'know, they only give you three letters, so after A-S-S it is a bit of a challenge.

只能输三个字母，除了ASS（屁股），想别的脏话可难了。

Monica

Hey wait a minute, this one isn't dirty.

哎，这个缩写不是脏话。

Chandler

It is when you put it together with that one.

和旁边那个连起来就是了。

Monica

Ah, well if you don't clear this off, you won't be getting one of those from me. But Ben's coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this can't be there.

你不把记录清掉，今晚别想碰我。本明天要来玩游戏机，不能让他看到。

Chandler

Come on, he won't even know what they mean.

他才七岁，看不懂的。

Monica

Chandler! He's seven; he's not stupid.

钱德，他七岁了，不傻。

Chandler

Have you talked to him lately?

你最近跟他聊过天吗？

Monica

All right, look I'm just gonna unplug it.

行了，我直接拔电源。

Chandler

No-no-no, if you unplug it, I'll have nothing to show for my day! It would be like I was at work. (She unplugs it.) No! (And plugs it back in.) Hey look at that! Look at that, it's still there! This thing must have some kind of primitive ROM chip in it or something!

别别别，拔了电源我一天白忙活了，跟上班一样没劲。（莫妮卡拔掉电源）别！（又插上）快看！记录还在！这玩意儿肯定有存储芯片之类的！

Monica

Honey you-you got to beat your scores!

亲爱的，你得自己把高分刷掉！

Chandler

With the claw?!

用游戏机的爪子？！

Monica

All right fine. Fine, I'll do it. I've just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.

行行行，我来。得把这些记录清掉，卡萝和苏珊还在生气，因为你教本“比中指”。

Chandler

(smiles) Pull my finger-(Looks at his hand)-My hand is messed up.

（笑）比中指——（看自己的手）我的手僵住了。

Rachel

I am not gonna answer that!

我才不回答呢！

Joey

Oh come on! Just pick one! Between Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross if you had to, if you had to, who would you punch?

别这样！选一个！莫妮卡、菲比、钱德、罗斯，必须选一个，你会打谁？

Rachel

No one! They are my friends, I wouldn't punch any of them.

谁都不打！他们都是我朋友，我谁都不打。

Joey

Chandler?

钱德呢？

Rachel

Yeah, but I don't know why. Look at me, I'm having such a wonderful time!

好像是，但我也不知道为什么。你看我，今天玩得超开心！

Joey

Me too! Hey Rach, can I just say I think this is the best date I ever had!

我也是！瑞秋，我想说这是我最棒的一次约会！

Rachel

I know!

我也是！

Joey

I never laughed so hard-Did you see the wine come out of my nose?

我从没笑这么疯过——你看到酒从我鼻子里喷出来了吗？

Rachel

Joey, I think everyone saw the wine come out of your nose.

乔伊，我觉得所有人都看到了。

Joey

I gotta say, I never knew I could enjoy the non-sex part of the date so much.

说实话，我从没想过约会不用上床也能这么开心。

Rachel

Well that is because you have never been on a date with me before.

那是因为你以前没跟我约会过。

Joey

Huh. Huh.

嗯，是啊。

Rachel

All right, now don't judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. I'm ripping into this swan.

别笑我，我平时等约会对象走了才吃，可你住这儿，我忍不住要吃这个天鹅甜点了。

Joey

Ah! Okay, well then you don't judge me. I'm gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)

行，那你也别笑我，我要舔刚才布朗尼的包装纸。（两人都照做）

Rachel

So tell me, what are Joey Tribbiani's end of the night moves?

说说看，乔伊·崔比安尼约会结尾的招数是什么？

Joey

Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.

嗯，想让女孩吻我，首先得让嘴唇看起来超诱人。

Rachel

How do you do that?

怎么做到？

Joey

Now you can't tell anyone, but uh…I put on shiny lip balm.

保密啊，我会涂亮泽唇彩。

Rachel

Oh my God!

天啊！

Joey

Yeah, like a moth to a flame, I'm telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.

女孩都像飞蛾扑火一样凑过来。好了，该你说了。

Rachel

No, I don't want to tell you.

不说，太丢人了。

Joey

Why not?

为什么？

Rachel

Because it's embarrassing.

太尴尬了。

Joey

More embarrassing than shiny raspberry lip balm?! (Rachel just looks at him.) I didn't say raspberry before did I? All right just-just tell me Rach, just tell me!

比亮泽覆盆子唇彩还尴尬？！（瑞秋看着他）我刚才没说覆盆子吧？好瑞秋，快告诉我！

Rachel

(laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when we're at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesn't sound like anything, but I swear it works.

（笑）好吧，站起来。（两人起身）站在门口时，我轻轻吻他嘴唇，靠他身上一下，然后发出“嗯~”的声音。听起来普通，但超管用。

Joey

(stunned and turned on) Yeah. Why-Yeah, that would work for ya…

（震惊又心动）是啊，肯定管用……

Rachel

All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.

我要去睡觉了，今晚太开心了。

Joey

Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)

嗯。（瑞秋吻了他一下）嗯。（瑞秋回房间）我也是。（乔伊突然慌乱起来）

Commercial Break

广告插播

Rachel

…you were 50 minutes late to the class, what did you crawl there?!

……你上课迟到50分钟，爬过去的？！

Ross

No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"

我跑过去的，太远了。现在的人怎么都听不懂“别挡路”这句话！

Rachel

Well, why didn't you just take a cab?

那你干嘛不打车？

Ross

Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets it'll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?

那个点堵车，还都是单行道，打车更慢。我一周上三次课，我又不是洛克菲勒，哪有钱天天打车。

Rachel

Well you're not gonna be able to keep doing this.

你这样下去不行。

Ross

Well I have too. Okay? If I don't, they'll take the class away from me. And…I already put it in my family newsletter.

没办法，不上课就会被换掉，我都把这事写进家族通讯里了。

Rachel

You what?

写什么？

Ross

You've seen it, the Geller Yeller.

你见过的，《盖勒快讯》。

Rachel

Right. Wow!

哦对，厉害！

Ross

Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, I'm sure I can make it this time. I just…I just can't be afraid to get a little bit…hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)

而且我找到近路了，这次肯定来得及，只要不怕被车撞就行。（罗斯去洗手间，乔伊走进来）

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?

嗨！还记得昨晚我们聊的《狂犬惊魂》吗？

Joey

Oh yeah, I still can't believe you haven't seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?

是啊，我不敢相信你没看过，你怎么回事？

Rachel

Relax! It's not like it's Citizen Kane!

别激动，又不是《公民凯恩》！

Joey

Have you ever tried to sit through Citizen Kane?

你看得下去《公民凯恩》吗？

Rachel

Yeah I know it's really boring, but it's like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.

我知道很无聊，但很有名。我想租《狂犬惊魂》来看。

Joey

Oh yeah? All right, let's do it tonight.

好啊，今晚一起看。

Rachel

Well don't you have that big date tonight?

你今晚不是有重要约会吗？

Joey

Oh right!

哦对！

Rachel

Hey Joey, can I ask you something?

乔伊，我能问你个事吗？

Joey

Yeah.

问吧。

Rachel

After our date last night, did you feel a little weird?

昨晚约会后，你有没有觉得有点奇怪？

Joey

Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!

天啊！你也有？我吓死了，怎么回事？！

Rachel

I don't know! (Pause) I'm-I'm kinda thinking it-it was the lobster…

不知道！（停顿）我觉得……是龙虾的问题……

Joey

Oh yeah-yeah, the lobster.

对，肯定是龙虾。

Rachel

Yeah, I mean I was up sick all night.

我昨晚难受了一整晚。

Joey

Yeah me too, all night.

我也是，一整晚。

Rachel

Really?! How come we didn't cross paths?

真的？！那我们怎么没碰到？

Joey

Yeah well that's because uh…I stayed in my room. Yeah, you don't want to look in my hamper.

我待在自己房间了，你别想看我洗衣篮里的东西。

Monica

Okay, I got that. I'll escape over there. I'll come back over here. All right, come on Ms. Pac-Man. It's got-Right-(She dies.) Well, you're just a little bitch, aren't you?

好，我躲这儿，再回来。来吧吃豆人小姐，往右——（游戏失败）你这小坏东西。

Phoebe

(entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, I'm sorry that I was hogging the game before-(Sees the top ten list)-Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!

（走进来）嘿，抱歉之前我霸着游戏机——（看到高分榜）天啊！你们朋友的缩写也太不雅了！

Monica

They're all Chandler.

都是钱德干的。

Phoebe

Chandler sucks! He couldn't have gotten this good!

钱德怎么可能玩这么好！

Chandler

I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.

我就是这么厉害。（看自己僵住的手）但付出了代价。

Monica

But Ben is coming over tonight and he can't see this.

本今晚要来，不能让他看到。

Chandler

Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!

七岁小孩什么没见过。（两人看着他）难道只有我见过？！

Ross

Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! I'm on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why don't we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where… (Exhales again) Where you will see…a uh…a bunch of uh…red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why don't, why don't you all start to read, while I-(Passes out and collapses.)

到了！我准时到了！（从学生手里抢过一瓶水，喝了一口，像马拉松选手一样往脸上泼水）好了，大家把书翻到23页，上面有……（喘气）一堆红点。好了，你们先看书，我……（晕倒在地）

Joey's Date

Hey. Are you all right? You seem a little distracted.

嘿，你还好吗？心不在焉的。

Joey

No-no! I'm fine. It's just… Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that you've known for a while and then suddenly…suddenly see them a different way?

没事！就是……我能问你个事吗？你有没有看着认识很久的人，突然……突然觉得他不一样了？

Joey's Date

You mean like from behind?

从背后看？

Joey

Yeah. Yeah, that…that's exactly it. You're right. Yeah.

对，就是这个意思，你懂的。

Joey's Date

Ew, y'know what? One time I saw this guy from behind and he seemed like a totally normal guy and then he turned around and it was Stephan Baldwin!

有一次我从背后看一个人，挺普通的，结果他转过来是斯蒂芬·鲍德温！

Joey

(deadpan) Ooh! Yeah. So yeah, so you know exactly what I'm talking about.

（面无表情）哇，你完全懂我意思。

Joey's Date

Totally! Wow! (Pause) Would you excuse me for a sec?

当然！失陪一下。

Joey

Oh yeah, sure. (She gets up, walks towards the bathroom, and Joey watches her go.) Ehhh.

好。（女生起身走向洗手间，乔伊看着她离开）唉。

Monica

Oh my God Phoebe, you're on fire!

天啊菲比，你太厉害了！

Phoebe

I know!

那是！

Chandler

One more score to go! You can do it! (Touches her shoulder.)

还差一个！加油！（碰了下菲比的肩膀）

Phoebe

Don't touch me!!

别碰我！！

Monica

Don't touch her!!

别碰她！！

Chandler

All right! Go left! Go left! Go right!! Go right!!

好！往左！往左！往右！往右！

Phoebe

I can't!! I can't!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!

不行！不行！（游戏失败）不！你这混蛋！！

(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebe's mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebe's vulgarity.)

（菲比爆粗口时，本和罗斯正好走进来，听到了大部分脏话，罗斯慢动作般想捂住儿子的耳朵）

Ross

Phoebe!!

菲比！！

Phoebe

Oh hi Ben-No!! Don't look at the machine! (Covers the screen.)

嗨本——别看游戏机！（挡住屏幕）

Rachel

Oh God! Thank God you're home! I'm watching Cujo.

天啊！你回来了太好了！我在看《狂犬惊魂》。

Joey

(incredulous) Alone?!

（惊讶）一个人？！

Rachel

Yes! But what is wrong with this dog?!

是啊！这只狗怎么了？！

Joey

Hey, did you get to the part where they're trapped in the car and Cujo's throwin' himself at the windshield?

看到他们困在车里，狂犬撞挡风玻璃那段了吗？

Rachel

No! No! Seriously, what's wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?

没！这狗到底怎么了？！等等，你怎么这么早回来？约会怎么样？

Joey

Oh uh, it didn't work out.

没成。

Rachel

Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?

哦，要不要一起看完？

Joey

Oh uh, okay. Yeah.

好。

Rachel

Y'know, I never thought I'd say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel who's in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.

我从没想过会这么说，但我真希望这只狗死掉。（乔伊搬了凳子坐在旁边）坐我这儿，保护我。

Joey

Oh sure, yeah, why not? (Sits on the arm of the chair.)

好啊。（坐在椅子扶手上）

Rachel

Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, that's him! That's him! That's Cujo! That's Cujo!

好。（按下播放）就是它！狂犬！

Joey

All right, I know! I know. Yeah, it'll be okay.

我知道，别怕。

Rachel

Oh my God…What's he gonna do now? I can't watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Aren't you scared?

天啊……它要干嘛？我不敢看！（靠在乔伊怀里）你怎么敢看？不害怕吗？

Joey

Terrified. (But for a totally different reason.)

怕极了。（却是因为别的原因）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, he's wearing in-line skates and hasn't taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs…

都到齐了吗？我今天早到了。开始上课，水龙类化石主要在两个地方出土。（走向地图，能看到他穿着直排轮滑鞋，没脱）这儿。（指向中东，滑着轮滑转了一圈指向地图）这儿。（中国）至于水龙类……

(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)

（想走到教室前面，却失控滑进走廊，用教鞭撑住门框，又拉着教鞭回到教室，教鞭卡在门框和门之间断成两半）

End

结束