The One With The Rumor

Joey

Hey Rach listen, did you know that during pregnancy your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back.

嘿瑞秋，听我说，你知道怀孕期间手指会肿成原来两倍大，而且再也缩不回去吗。

Rachel

(looking at her fingers) Oh my…God! Let me see that! (Grabs the book from him.)

（看着自己的手指）哦天呐！给我看看！（从他手里抢过书）

Joey

(laughing) You fall for it every time!

（笑）你每次都上当！

Phoebe

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Phoebe

I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)

我给你带来了我以前的孕妇装！（把一个袋子放在台面上）

Rachel

Oh Pheebs that's so sweet-(Grabs a pair of pants)-Ooh, those are so cute!

哦菲比，你太好了——（拿起一条裤子）哇，这条好可爱！

Phoebe

Yeah! And look, (Grabs the pants) see how they expand as the baby grows? (There's a stretchy part in front.) And then after the baby's born, they're great for shoplifting melons.

是吧！你看，（拿起裤子）看到没，宝宝长大裤子也能撑开？（前面有弹性部分）而且宝宝出生后，用它偷瓜超方便。

Monica

(entering) Oh good you're all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four o'clock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?

（走进来）太好了，你们都在。明天感恩节，四点开饭。（对瑞秋）哦，猜猜我请了谁。还记得高中那个威尔·科尔伯特吗？

Rachel

No.

不记得。

Monica

He was in Ross's class…marching band…kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.

他跟罗斯同班，参加过行进乐队，有点胖？其实是超胖。我当时算是他的瘦朋友。

Rachel

Wow! I don't remember him. Honey, are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend.

哇！我完全没印象。亲爱的，你确定说的不是你幻想出来的男友？

Monica

No that was Jarred! Wow! I haven't thought about him in a long time… (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Will's, Will's here on business and he didn't have a place to go so I invited him here.

不是，那个是贾里德！天呐，我好久没想过他了……（望向远方陷入沉思）（停顿）不说这个了，威尔来这边出差，没地方去，我就请他过来了。

Rachel

Oh that's nice.

哦挺好的。

Monica

Oh, and by the way, he's lost a bunch of weight. I mean he looks goo-ood! Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous! (Joey clears his throat.) I still love Chandler.

对了，他瘦了超多。现在超帅！真的，超级迷人！（乔伊清了清嗓子）我还是爱钱德的。

Joey

I just want you to say it once in a while.

我就是希望你偶尔说一下嘛。

Monica

All right okay, just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.

行吧，跟你们说下，我今年不做火鸡了。

Joey

What?!

什么？！

Monica

Well Phoebe doesn't eat turkey…

菲比不吃火鸡……

Joey

Phoebe!

菲比！

Phoebe

Turkey's are beautiful, intelligent animals!

火鸡是又漂亮又聪明的动物！

Joey

No they're not! They're ugly and stupid and delicious!

才不是！它们又丑又笨，还超好吃！

Monica

All right! Okay, it's just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet, Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry.

好了好了，不止菲比。威尔还在节食，钱德不吃感恩节的食物，瑞秋又讨厌家禽。

Joey

She is?

她讨厌？

Rachel

Remember I had to leave the room the other day when you had that roast chicken?

记得前几天你吃烤鸡的时候，我不得不离开房间吧？

Joey

Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.

记得。但我还以为是因为我把整只鸡放手上，让它在桌上走来走去呢。

Monica

Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? It's a lot of work.

反正就三个人，做一整只火鸡太不划算了，好吗？超费功夫。

Joey

But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!

但感恩节必须有火鸡啊！感恩节没火鸡，就像七月四日没苹果派！周五没两份披萨一样！

Monica

All right fine! If it means that much to you! But just-there's gonna be a ton left over.

行行行！你这么在意就做！但肯定会剩一大堆。

Joey

No there won't! I promise I will finish that turkey!

不会剩的！我保证把整只火鸡吃光！

Monica

All right, you're telling me you can eat an entire turkey in just one sitting?

行，你是说你一顿能吃完一整只火鸡？

Joey

That's right! 'Cause I'm a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we don't read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!

没错！因为我是崔比昂尼家族的！（对瑞秋）我们家族就擅长这个！我们可能不是思想家，也不是世界领袖，不爱读书也跑不快，但该死的！我们能吃！

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Monica

Hey, isn't weird to think about how next year at this time they'll be a little baby at the table? (Chandler turns around in horror.) (Seeing him) Rachel's! But good to know where you're at!

嘿，想想明年这个时候，餐桌上就会有个小宝宝了，是不是很奇妙？（钱德惊恐地转过身）（看到他的表情）是瑞秋的孩子！不过总算知道你在想什么了！

Phoebe

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Happy Thanksgiving!

感恩节快乐！

Monica

You too!

你也是！

Phoebe

Anything I can do to help?

有什么我能帮忙的吗？

Monica

Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but he's really into the game so I don't want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)

还真有。平时钱德会帮我，但他看得正入迷，我不想打扰他。你能帮我叠餐巾吗？（递给她一摞餐巾）

Phoebe

Sure!

当然！

Monica

I'm gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.

我去对面看看红薯好了没。

Phoebe

Okay. (She starts folding the napkins in half.)

好的。（她开始把餐巾对折）

Monica

No! No! No! No sweetie! No! Not like that! We're not at a barn dance. You've gotta-you wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas time, remember?

不对不对不对！亲爱的，不是这样叠！又不是乡村舞会。要叠成天鹅的样子，圣诞节我教过你的，记得吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me. (Monica exits.) (To Chandler) So how's the game?

记得，一下子就想起来了。（莫妮卡离开）（对钱德）比赛怎么样？

Chandler

I have no idea.

我也不知道。

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Chandler

Yeah! I'm just pretending to watch the game so I don't have to help out with stuff.

是啊！我就是假装在看比赛，这样就不用帮忙干活了。

Phoebe

I don't believe you! That is…brilliant! And Monica has no idea?

真不敢相信！太聪明了！莫妮卡完全不知道？

Chandler

Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.

不知道！我偶尔对着电视喊几句就行。

(Monica enters and Chandler screams stuff at the TV.)

（莫妮卡走进来，钱德对着电视大喊）

Monica

Is your team winning hon?

亲爱的，你支持的队赢了吗？

Chandler

Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) There's no Anderson.

赢了！安德森又得分了！（对菲比）根本没有安德森这个人。

Phoebe

Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I don't think I can help you after all, I didn't realize this game was on.

我也想这么干。嘿莫妮卡？我还是帮不了你了，没想到今天有比赛。

Monica

Oh, I didn't know you liked football.

哦，我不知道你喜欢橄榄球。

Phoebe

Well normally I don't, but y'know…(looks at the TV)…Green Bay is playing.

平时不喜欢，但你懂的……（看向电视）绿湾队在比赛呢。

Monica

You like Green Bay?

你喜欢绿湾队？

Phoebe

Well it's only like my favorite bay!

绿湾可是我最喜欢的湾！

(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)

（菲比坐到钱德旁边的沙发上，门铃响了，莫妮卡去开门）

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Will

Hey!

嘿！

Will

Happy Thanksgiving!

感恩节快乐！

Monica

Aww thanks! God Will I'm so glad that you came! You look great! You must've lost like…

谢谢！天呐威尔，你能来太好了！你状态超好！肯定瘦了好多……

Will

150 pounds. Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.

瘦了150磅。对，我要去拍赛百味三明治的广告了。

Monica

A pie! (Will brought a pie.)

还带了派！（威尔带了一个派）

Will

Oh right. All right, it's no fat, it's no sugar, it's no dairy…it's no good. Throw it out.

哦对，这个派无脂、无糖、无乳制品……反正不好吃，扔了吧。

Monica

You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.

要认识下其他人吗？这是我丈夫钱德。钱德，这是威尔。

Will

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Oh hey. I'd shake your hand but uh; I'm really into the game. Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other.

哦嘿。我想跟你握手的，但我看比赛看得正入迷。而且，咱们别站一起，不然我自尊心受不了。

Monica

This is Phoebe.

这是菲比。

Phoebe

(nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.

（随意瞥了一眼）嘿。（转回头）哇！（抬头看）厉害啊。

Monica

(to Will) Wanna give me a hand?

（对威尔）要搭把手吗？

Will

Sure! Monica, I can't get over how great you look! You look stunning!

当然！莫妮卡，你也太好看了！美极了！

Monica

Well you look incredible too! You're just-you're so fit!

你也帅炸了！身材超棒！

Chandler

I'm watching the game, but I'm not deaf!

我在看比赛，但我耳朵没聋！

Monica

Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.

哦对了，忘了跟你说，罗斯也来。

Will

Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!

罗斯要来？太好了！我超喜欢罗斯！

Monica

Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)

嗯，瑞秋·格林也来。（威尔突然停下）

Will

Oh.

哦。

Monica

Is there a problem?

有什么问题吗？

Will

Nope. Uh, it's okay. It's just uh, God I hated her.

没有，没事。就是，天呐，我以前超讨厌她。

Monica

What?

什么？

Will

Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, I'm in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!

是啊，超讨厌。高中的时候她对我特别差。不过都过去好久了，我现在挺好的，再见到她说不定还挺有意思。你这儿有蛋糕或者饼干之类的吗？（开始翻找）不行威尔，别找了！

Chandler

(To Phoebe) Y'know, it's been a while since we've screamed something. Maybe we should.

（对菲比）好久没对着电视喊了，要不我们喊两句？

Phoebe

Oh okay.

好啊。

Chandler

Oh come on!

加油啊！

Phoebe

Noooo!! Damn you ref! You burn in hell!!!

不要啊！该死的裁判！下地狱去吧！

(Joey enters eating potato chips.)

（乔伊吃着薯片走进来）

Monica

Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room, you've got almost an entire turkey to eat.

嘿，你干嘛呢？留点肚子，你要吃一整只火鸡呢。

Joey

Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin' chips is like stretching.

我跟你讲讲人体原理，得先给胃热身。吃薯片就跟热身拉伸一样。

Monica

All right.

行吧。

Joey

Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full.

放心，崔比昂尼家族的人永远吃不饱。

Will

I actually know what you're talking about. I'm here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.

我懂你意思。朋友，我跟你说，你就算一直吃，也填不满心里的空虚。

Joey

(To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?

（对莫妮卡）这家伙到底是谁啊？

Monica

Will! From high school.

威尔啊！高中同学。

Joey

Oh hey!

哦嘿！

Monica

(to Will) Joey.

（对威尔）这是乔伊。

Will

Hello.

你好。

Ross

(entering) Will!

（走进来）威尔！

Will

Ross!

罗斯！

Ross

Hey-hey you came! Man you look incredible! Hot stuff! (They hug and Ross realizes what he said.) Hot stuff?

嘿你来了！你也太帅了吧！大帅哥！（两人拥抱，罗斯意识到自己说的话）大帅哥？

Will

It's good to see you man.

见到你太好了兄弟。

Ross

Yeah, you too. Man, so-so what are you up to?

是啊，你也是。你最近在忙什么？

Will

I'm a commodities broker.

我是商品经纪人。

Ross

Really? Yeah that-that sounds interesting.

真的？听起来挺有意思的。

Will

Yeah, it's not. But I'm rich and thin.

才不呢。不过我现在有钱又瘦了。

Ross

Oh! Man I don't think I've seen you since uh, Lance Davis' graduation party.

哇！我记得上次见你还是兰斯·戴维斯的毕业派对上。

Will

That was such a fun night!

那晚超好玩！

Ross

Yeah. It would've been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.

是啊。要是能进去就好了，但还是挺有意思的。

Will

Yeah.

是啊。

Ross

Yeah.

是啊。

Will

God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?

天呐，我们那时候好傻。还记得我们多迷恐龙吗？

Ross

(laughs) Yeah.

（笑）记得。

Will

So what do you, what do you do now?

你现在做什么工作？

Ross

So how long are you in town?

你在这儿待多久？

Rachel

(entering, carrying a baking dish) Hi!

（端着烤盘走进来）嗨！

Monica

Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)

嘿亲爱的，太好了。（接过她手里的烤盘）

Will

(glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.

（盯着瑞秋）瑞秋·格林。

Ross

Aw-oh, that's right. Are-are you gonna be okay?

哦对，没错。你没事吧？

Will

Oh, I'll-I'll be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!

我没事。就是天呐，我超讨厌她罗斯！超讨厌！

Ross

Will, high school was-was a long time ago.

威尔，高中都是好久以前的事了。

Will

Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

瑞秋·格林和复合碳水化合物。

Rachel

(sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?

（看到威尔）天呐莫妮卡，那是谁啊？

Monica

That's Will from high school!

高中同学威尔啊！

Rachel

Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, he's… Look at the way he's just staring at me. I think he's trying to mouth something to me, but I can't make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")

我讨厌你）

Monica

Okay, dinner's ready!

好了，开饭了！

Chandler

Good game!

比赛真精彩！

Phoebe

Yeah.

是啊。

Chandler

Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort.

嗯，打得不错，很不错。

Monica

Oh, so who won?

哦，那谁赢了？

Phoebe

(simultaneously) Green Bay.

（同时说）绿湾队。

Chandler

(simultaneously) Detroit.

（同时说）底特律队。

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

Well the Lions technically won, but it was a moral victory for the Green Bay…Mermen.

其实狮子队赢了，但绿湾队在精神上赢了……美人鱼队。

(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)

（众人坐到餐桌旁，威尔走向瑞秋）

Rachel

Hi! Will, right?

嗨！是威尔对吧？

Will

Right.

对。

Rachel

Hi! I'm Rachel Green.

嗨，我是瑞秋·格林。

Will

Oh I-I remember you.

我记得你。

Rachel

Really?! Aren't you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party?

真的吗？你真好！说实话，我完全想不起来你了。哦等等！我们是不是在兰斯·戴维斯的毕业派对上暧昧过？

Will

You are unbelievable.

你真是让人难以置信。

Rachel

Thank you!

谢谢！

Monica

(breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why don't you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)

（打断两人）瑞秋，你坐这边吧？（乔伊旁边）威尔，你坐那边。（桌子另一边）

(Monica sets something on the table and removes the cover. It kinda looks like turkey.)

（莫妮卡把一个东西放到桌上，掀开盖子，看起来像火鸡）

Joey

That's it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!

就这个？就算没人帮忙，我也能轻松吃完。至少给我点难度啊！

Monica

(laughs) This is Chandler's chicken. This is the turkey. (Sets down a huge turkey.)

（笑）这是钱德的鸡肉，这个才是火鸡。（放下一只超大的火鸡）

Joey

(quietly) Oh. How-how big is that?

（小声）哦。这个有多大？

Monica

About nineteen pounds.

大概19磅。

Joey

(To Rachel) It's like me when I was born.

（对瑞秋）跟我出生时一样重。

Rachel

All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?

好了，谁要吃红薯？威尔？

Will

Oh, you'd like that wouldn't ya?

你倒是挺想给我是吧？

Rachel

What? (Joey starts offering Ross some turkey.) Oh y'know what? Can we please keep the chicken and the turkey and everything on the other side of the table? The smell is just yuck!

什么？（乔伊开始给罗斯分火鸡）对了，能把鸡肉、火鸡这些都放到桌子另一边吗？味道好恶心！

Will

(sneeze talks) Typical.

（带着鼻音说）果然。

Rachel

I'm sorry. What?

抱歉，你说什么？

Will

I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)

我说你向来如此。瑞秋·格林，瑞秋女王，在自己的小世界里随心所欲。（模仿瑞秋甩头发）

Joey

(To Monica) Seriously, who is this guy?

（对莫妮卡）说真的，这家伙到底是谁？

Rachel

Umm, I'm sorry. Do you-do you have a problem with me?

抱歉，你是不是对我有意见？

Will

I don't know? Do I? Do I?

不知道啊，有吗？有吗？

Phoebe

I think you do.

我觉得有。

Monica

(To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.

（对瑞秋）看来你高中的时候对他有点过分。

Will

A little mean? You made my life miserable!

有点过分？你把我害惨了！

Rachel

I'm-I'm-I had no idea. I'm sorry. I…

我完全不知道，对不起，我……

Will

Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!

你确实该道歉。不管了！给我红薯！

Monica

Oh Will. But you-you've worked so hard…

威尔，你好不容易才瘦下来……

Will

Yams!!!!

红薯！！！！

Monica

Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)

好吧。（钱德从莫妮卡手里拿过盘子递给威尔，威尔开始盛一大勺）

Rachel

Uh Will umm, I just want to say that I'm real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school…

威尔，我想说，不管我高中对你做了什么，我都很抱歉……

Will

Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club!

不只是我，我们有个俱乐部！

Rachel

You had a club?!

你们还有俱乐部？！

Will

That's right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!

没错，“我讨厌瑞秋·格林俱乐部”！

Rachel

Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?

天呐！所以你们聚在一起就是为了讨厌我？！还有谁在这个俱乐部里？

Will

Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)

我和罗斯。（指向罗斯）

Ross

No need to point, she knows who Ross is.

不用指了，她知道我是谁。

Commercial Break

广告时段

Rachel

(To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?

（对罗斯）所以你加入过“讨厌瑞秋俱乐部”？

Will

Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)

对，他加入了。（伸手想跟罗斯击掌）

Ross

No. No.

没有，没有。

Rachel

So who else was in this club?

还有谁在这个俱乐部里？

Ross

Uh actually, there-there was also that exchange student from Thailand but I-I don't think he-he knew what it was.

其实还有个泰国的交换生，但我觉得他不知道这是啥俱乐部。

Rachel

So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.

罗斯，我们在一起两年，你从没跟我说过你加入过讨厌我的俱乐部。

Will

You went out with her?! We had a pact!

你居然跟她交往？！我们发过誓的！

Ross

That was in high school! It's not like it was binding forever.

那是高中的事了！又不是一辈子的约定。

Will

Then why did it have the word eternity in it?

那为什么誓言里有“永恒”两个字？

Rachel

Okay Monica, did you know about this?!

莫妮卡，你知道这事吗？！

Monica

I swear I didn't. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?

我发誓不知道。（对罗斯和威尔）所以你们以前总躲进卧室锁门，就是因为这个？

Ross and Will

Yeah.

对。

Monica

Hmm, a little relieved, I gotta say.

嗯，说实话，我松了口气。

Ross

Look Rach I-I'm sorry, okay? I…I was a stupid kid, okay? The only reason I joined…

瑞秋，对不起，好吗？我那时候就是个傻孩子。我加入……

Will

Co-founded!

联合创办！

Ross

…co-founded. Co-founded the club was because I was insanely in love with you. Obviously I didn't handle it very well. But if you think about it the I Hate Rachel Club was really the I Love Rachel Club.

……联合创办。创办这个俱乐部是因为我当时疯狂喜欢你，只是表达方式不对。其实“讨厌瑞秋俱乐部”本质上就是“爱瑞秋俱乐部”。

Will

Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.

但它真的就是“讨厌瑞秋俱乐部”。

Rachel

Okay. So what? You guys would just like get together and like just say mean things about me?

行吧。所以你们聚在一起，就是说我的坏话？

Will

Well, we did a little more than that.

不止说坏话，我们还做了别的。

Ross

No-no! No-no. No-no.

没有没有！别乱说。

Phoebe

What?! What else did you do?

什么？！还做了什么？

Will

We started a rumor.

我们造了谣。

Rachel

What rumor?

什么谣言？

Phoebe

Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!

快说威尔！赶紧说出来！

Rachel

Ross!

罗斯！

Ross

It was no big deal. We-we…said that the rumor was…that umm…you had both…male and female reproductive parts.

不是什么大事。我们就是……说……你同时有男性和女性的生殖器官。

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Will

That's right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.

没错！我们说你爸妈抛硬币决定把你当女孩养，但你其实有小丁丁。

Rachel

(shocked) Oh my God!

（震惊）天呐！

Monica

You started that?!

这谣言是你们传的？！

Rachel

What?! You heard that?! (Goes and stands behind Joey.)

什么？！你听过这谣言？！（躲到乔伊身后）

Monica

Everyone at our school heard it!

我们学校所有人都听过！

Chandler

Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!

我们学校的人也都听过！你就是长岛那个双性人啦啦队长？！

Rachel

Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)

不要啊！天呐！我现在终于明白了！难怪亚当·卡特不跟我约会！比利·特拉特总盯着我这里看！（指自己的胸部）（乔伊转过身）

Ross

Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now. So-so that one's not really our fault.

其实比利现在是同性恋了，所以这事不算我们的锅。

Rachel

Monica, how come you never told me this?!

莫妮卡，你怎么从没跟我说过这事？！

Monica

I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.

我当时以为是真的，怕你哭着让我看。

(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachel's standing and he's sitting down and he's not looking at her face… You get the picture.)

（乔伊盯着瑞秋看，瑞秋站着他坐着，而且他没看瑞秋的脸……懂的都懂）

Rachel

Joey stop staring! There's nothing there! It's not true!

乔伊别盯着看了！根本没有！那是假的！

Joey

I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

我需要证据。

Rachel

Oh! (Hits him and storms out.)

你！（打了乔伊一拳，生气地离开）

Joey

You are my Everest.

你就是我的珠穆朗玛峰。

Monica

Joey, you don't have to finish that.

乔伊，不用吃完的。

Joey

Oh yes I do. Otherwise what's next? Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just…I just-I gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)

必须吃完。不然以后呢？今天吃不完火鸡，明天就会吃半根能量棒，把剩下的包起来放冰箱？不行！我得去换条裤子。（起身走向门口）牛仔裤太紧了。（离开）

Rachel

(entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, you're such a good person." Not girl! Person!

“亲爱的瑞秋，你是个好人。”是“人”，不是“女孩”！

Ross

Rach, I think you're reading a little too much into it.

瑞秋，你想太多了。

Rachel

(reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, you're a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)

（又念了一遍）“亲爱的瑞秋，你是个好人，可惜你有小丁丁。”（威尔笑了）

Ross

Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?!

你想让我怎么办？让我给全校所有人打电话澄清是假的吗？

Rachel

Yes!

对！

Will

Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?

顺便告诉他们我现在瘦了？

Monica

Oh! Me too!

还有我也是！

Ross

Well look-look I'm not calling anybody! Okay? It was like a million years ago!

我才不打呢！都是老黄历了！

Rachel

I don't care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Y'know what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.

不管多久！你们到处说我是双性人！我想说，我高中从没伤害过你们。

Monica

That's not totally true.

也不全是。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Ross

What?

什么？

Monica

Well you-you did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs. Altman, our 50-year-old librarian.

你不是传过罗斯和50岁的图书管理员奥特曼老师暧昧的谣言吗？

Ross

(shocked) (To Rachel) How did you know that?!!!!

（震惊）（对瑞秋）你怎么知道的？！

Monica

It's true?!!

真的？！

Ross

No.

假的。

Rachel

Yes it is! I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog!

是真的！我看到你们在卡片目录后面亲热了！

(Ross is at a loss for words.)

（罗斯无言以对）

Will

Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.

奥特曼老师？她还在泰国交换生回国前一晚跟他亲热了。

Chandler

I'm sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?

不好意思，你高中时跟50岁的女人亲热？

Ross

Hey! She didn't look 50!

她看起来不像50岁！

Chandler

Did she look 16?

难道像16岁？

Rachel

Ohh, there's a picture of her in the yearbook actually.

纪念册里还有她的照片呢。

Phoebe

Oh! (They all look.) Wow!

哦！（众人一起看）哇！

Ross

She didn't photograph well!

她不上相！

Chandler

Well, she probably wasn't familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!

毕竟她一辈子都在画油画，不懂拍照很正常！

Phoebe

So how did this happen? Did she, did she lure you to an early bird dinner?

怎么发生的？她用老年优惠晚餐勾引你？

Ross

I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace…

那天下午我在图书馆加班，就我们俩。她让我帮她解字谜，然后就……安尼塔人很温柔，愿她安息……

Monica

Didn't she walk with a cane?

她不是要拄拐杖走路吗？

Ross

Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I can't believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Y'know what? (To Will) I'm back in the club!

只有潮湿天才拄！（对瑞秋）你居然把这事说出去了？！所有人都知道了？！（对威尔）我要重回俱乐部！

Will

Yeah! (They high-five.)

好！（两人击掌）

Phoebe

I wanna join!

我也要加入！

Rachel

Wh-Phoebe!!

菲比！！

Phoebe

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never got to be in a club. I-I didn't go to high school, but three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French. Bonjour.

对不起嘛。我从没加入过俱乐部。我没上过高中，但以前我们三个会在垃圾桶后面学法语，你好。

Rachel

All right, y'know-Fine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)

行吧！你们搞你们的破俱乐部，但我想说，你们对我做的事比我过分多了！你们害我被传有小丁丁！（威尔笑了）

Monica

All right, listen you're just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!

别闹了瑞秋。就算有那谣言，你还是学校最受欢迎的女生，所有人都想模仿你。有个女生为了学你，裤子里塞了巧克力卷！

Rachel

Wow…

哇……

Monica

And Ross, if it weren't for Rachel's rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!

罗斯，要不是瑞秋传的谣言，高中没人认识你，是她让你出名的！

Ross

As a romancer of the elderly.

出名成了跟老太太谈恋爱的人。

Monica

Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.

奥特曼老师年轻时肯定很漂亮。

Ross

The eyes…did still sparkle.

她的眼睛……依然很亮。

Monica

Hey guys this stuff is just so way in the past. You-you've been through so much since then. And right now you've got so much more important stuff going on in your life. Can't you just let this go?

都是过去的事了，你们后来经历了这么多，现在有更重要的事，别计较了行吗？

Rachel

She's right.

她说得对。

Ross

Yeah. I mean we are having a baby together.

是啊，我们都有孩子了。

Will

Hold on! You got her pregnant?

等等！你把她搞怀孕了？

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

Will

Are ya getting married?

要结婚吗？

Ross

Nope.

不结。

Will

So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?

搞大人家肚子还不结婚，厉害！（又想击掌，罗斯不理他）有人跟我击掌吗？

Phoebe

Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) It's exactly how I'd imagined it would be.

我来。（走过去抱了抱他）跟我想象的一样。

Joey

(entering, wearing the maternity pants from earlier) All right where's that turkey!

（穿着菲比的孕妇装走进来）火鸡在哪！

Phoebe

Joey! Those are my maternity pants!

乔伊！那是我的孕妇裤！

Joey

Not now! These are my Thanksgiving pants!

现在是我的感恩节裤子了！

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Joey

Well that's it. I'm done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)

吃完了。呼！（擦额头）吃完肉出一身汗。（钱德递给他毛巾，他擦了擦脸）

Monica

Well Joey, we're all…we're all very proud of you.

乔伊，我们都为你骄傲。

Chandler

Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the President any moment now.

没错，总统随时可能打电话来表扬你。

Phoebe

Is there anything we can do for you?

需要我们帮你做点什么吗？

Joey

No just, nobody press on my stomach.

不用，别碰我肚子就行。

Rachel

You can keep those pants by the way.

那条裤子送你了。

(Joey notices Monica has gotten a pie.)

（乔伊看到莫妮卡拿了个派）

Joey

Whoa-hey-wh-wh-what do you got there? What is that? Pie?

哇，你拿的什么？派吗？

Monica

Yeah, you want some?

嗯，要吃点吗？

Joey

Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid you’re gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!

切一小块就行。（莫妮卡准备切一小块）再大点。（莫妮卡准备切大一点）再大点。（莫妮卡又挪了挪刀）你怕不够吃吗？切一大块！

End

结束