The One With The Stain

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

(Monica notices something.)

（莫妮卡注意到了什么。）

Monica

Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!

天啊！你打扫了！（倒吸一口气）看这地板！你还擦了窗户！我求了你好几个月，你终于做了！你打扫了！唠叨果然有用！

Chandler

Y'know uh, I didn't actually do this.

那个……其实不是我做的。

Monica

Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?

哦不会吧，难道我又梦游打扫了？

Chandler

No, it wasn't you.

不是你。

Monica

Well then who?

那是谁？

Chandler

I got a maid. Yay!

我请了个女佣。耶！

Monica

(shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then…

（震惊）但愿你说的女佣是情人的意思，要是别的女人来家里打扫……

Chandler

Uh honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control…

亲爱的，我知道你不喜欢放手不管……

Monica

Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!

放手就是失控的好听说法！

Chandler

Look, she's really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.

她人很好，好吗？她还说特别喜欢你摆放海绵的方式。

Monica

Did she really say that?

她真这么说？

Chandler

Yes, I distinctly remember 'cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?

对，我记得清清楚楚，当时还以为是玩笑呢。给她一次机会，行吗？

Monica

Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.

行吧，我能做到。（变得焦虑）唉。

Chandler

What's the matter?

怎么了？

Monica

Well, usually when I'm this anxious, I clean!

我一焦虑就想打扫！

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Phoebe

(looking around) Who's cell phone is that? It's just so annoying; everywhere you go.

（环顾四周）谁的手机？真烦，走到哪儿都能听到。

Ross

I think it's coming from your bag.

好像是你包里传来的。

Phoebe

(checks) I never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?

（检查）从来没人给我打电话！！（接起电话）喂？

Eric

Hi, it's Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursula's fiancée.

嗨，我是埃里克。万圣节派对上见过，厄休拉的未婚夫。

Phoebe

Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, how'd you get this number?

天啊埃里克，嗨！等等，你怎么知道我号码的？

Eric

Oh, I have a friend who's a cop and he got it for me.

我有个警察朋友帮我查到的。

Phoebe

Wow! What an incredible violation-and wonderful surprise.

哇！太侵犯隐私了——但惊喜到我了。

Eric

Uh listen, I just-I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.

听着，我想告诉你，我和厄休拉分手了。

Phoebe

Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!

哦分了？（对瑞秋）他分了！他分了！

Rachel

Wow! What did he do?

哇！他做什么了？

Phoebe

Shhh! I'm talking.

嘘！我在打电话。

Eric

Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who…eats lunch.

我想问，你是不是那种……会吃午饭的人。

Phoebe

Are you asking me out? 'Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.

你在约我？你刚和我姐分手，这样有点奇怪吧。

Eric

Yeah uh…okay. I'm-I'm sorry. Bye.

嗯……好吧。抱歉，再见。

Phoebe

No! Wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person. Fight for me.

别！等等！我那么说只是想让你觉得我人好。来追我啊。

Eric

Uhh, I won't take no for an answer.

我不会轻易放弃的。

Phoebe

Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.

不怎么样，不过午饭时可以慢慢练。我两小时后到你公寓。

Eric

Great! But wh-wh-How do you know where I live?

太好了！可你……你怎么知道我住哪儿？

Phoebe

I've got friends too. Okay, bye.

我也有朋友。好啦，拜拜。

Eric

Bye.

拜拜。

(She hangs up.)

（她挂了电话。）

Phoebe

Oh my God! I'm going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can't make lunch. (Exits.)

天啊！我要和埃里克约会了！今天肯定比我想象的好太多了。哦罗斯，我不能跟你吃午饭了。（离开。）

Ross

So apparently I'm available for lunch.

看来我午饭没人陪了。

Rachel

I can't. I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.

我也不行，我忙着找房子。

Ross

You're moving?

你要搬家？

Rachel

Yeah, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, (in a baby's voice) "How you doin'?"

对，孩子出生后我不能和乔伊住一起了。我可不想我家娃开口第一句就是，（模仿婴儿语气）“你好吗？”

Ross

So does-does Joey know you're moving?

乔伊知道你要搬家吗？

Rachel

Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.

还没跟他说，但我知道他会松口气的。上周他带了个女孩回家，我跟人家聊孕吐，还把我孕期书里的图给人看了。

Ross

That's not really porn.

那也不算色情读物。

Rachel

Not so much.

确实不算。

Ross

Hey, y'know what and if you're looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.

对了，你要是找房子的话？今早坐电梯时听说，我这栋楼有个老太太去世了。

Rachel

Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?

天啊！年纪大吗？房子视野好不好？

Ross

Well I don't know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.

我不知道，但想想多好啊？你住我这栋楼，我能帮你带孩子，随时都能过去。（瑞秋看着他）当然得你同意。

Rachel

Yeah that would really be great.

是啊，那太好了。

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldn't. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.

那我们能去看看吗？！哦还是别了吧，人家今早刚去世，得尊重一下。

Ross

Yeah. No. No you're right.

对，别去，你说得对。

(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)

（两人停顿，又喝了口咖啡。）

Rachel

Shall we?

走吧？

Ross

Yeah.

好。

(They both exit.)

（两人离开。）

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

Yes?

有事吗？

Ross

Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building.

你好，我是罗斯·盖勒，住这栋楼。

Rachel

And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.

我是瑞秋，超喜欢这栋楼。

Ross

I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and I'm so sorry for your loss.

我听说费尔霍芬太太去世了，节哀顺变。

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

She didn't pass.

她没去世。

Ross

What?

什么？

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

My mother's still alive.

我妈还活着。

Ross

Oh, thank God!

哦，谢天谢地！

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird.

今早本来快不行了，但她身子骨硬朗得很。

Rachel

Ahh.

这样啊。

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

Are you close with her?

你和她很熟吗？

Ross

Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)

当然熟！嗯，我和她经常在……（瑞秋探头往里看）洗衣间聊天。（把瑞秋推到一边。）

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: I'm very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)

你会说荷兰语？（荷兰语）很高兴见到我妈妈的朋友。

Ross

Y'know I would it's just painful.

会是会，就是说起来太难受了。

Rachel

So she's really not dead.

所以她真没死。

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

No, she's hanging in there.

没死，还撑着呢。

Rachel

Hmm. Do you think-Could you tell me if she's hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?

嗯。那你能告诉我，她撑着的房子是一居室还是两居室吗？

Brenda

Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Where'd you get it?

宾太太，这个瓷砖清洁剂太好用了！在哪买的？

Monica

Oh well umm, I make it myself! It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is…y'know what? We just met.

哦，是我自己调的！两份氨水加一份柠檬汁。至于秘方嘛……算了，我们才刚认识。

Brenda

Okay. Uhh, I'm gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back I'll clean behind the refrigerator.

好的。我去洗衣间拿衣服，回来再擦冰箱后面。

Monica

(To Chandler) I love her.

（对钱德勒）我喜欢她。

Brenda

I'll be back in a minute.

我马上回来。

Monica

Okay. (As Brenda exits Monica notices something.)

好。（布伦达离开后，莫妮卡发现了什么。）

Chandler

See? I told you.

看吧，我就说吧。

Monica

She stole my jeans!

她偷了我的牛仔裤！

Chandler

(pause) What?

（停顿）什么？

Monica

I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!

我找了整整一周，她居然穿着！

Chandler

So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?

她偷了你的裤子，还敢回来当着你的面穿？

Monica

Don't you see? It's the perfect crime!

你没发现吗？这是完美犯罪！

Chandler

She must've been planning this for years!

她肯定策划好几年了！

Monica

I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!

我会证明给你看！一周前我穿这条裤子时，笔掉在腿上，裤裆那留下了墨水印。她回来我就找出那个印子给你看！

Chandler

Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?

亲爱的，卖裤子的公司说不定不止生产了这一条吧？

Monica

I guess.

有可能。

Chandler

So, shouldn't we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go…snooping around her crotch?

所以在去……盯着人裤裆看之前，是不是该先相信她？

Monica

Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.

行吧。幸好我没把秘方告诉她。

Chandler

Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?

好奇问下，你的秘方是什么？

Monica

Yeah! (Laughs.)

才不告诉你！（笑。）

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Eric

Come in, I'm so glad you're here.

快进来，你能来太好了。

Phoebe

Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though.

是啊，我也很开心。不过不像你这么紧张又生气。

Eric

Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.

抱歉，我刚见了厄休拉，把订婚戒指还给她了。

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Eric

Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just…I got so angry just looking at her…(Looks at Phoebe)…face.

一见到她，往事就都涌上来了。那些谎言，她利用我的样子。我看着她就特别生气……（看向菲比）……这张脸。

Phoebe

Yeah. (Covers her face with her hand.) Yeah.

是啊。（用手捂住脸。）是啊。

Eric

I'm sorry. I just…when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry.

抱歉。我看着你就会想起她，一想起她就有点生气。

Phoebe

Maybe this is too weird.

或许这太奇怪了。

Eric

No wait! There's only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)

等等！我只有看着你的时候才会这样。（坐在沙发上。）有办法了！有办法了。（用手捂住眼睛。）

Phoebe

No don't tear out your eyes!!

别抠眼睛啊！！

Eric

I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.

我只是想摘掉隐形眼镜。

Phoebe

Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?

哦，试试吧。（埃里克摘完看向她。）好点了吗？

Eric

Not really. You…you're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe…If I-if I just don't look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It…it works. I'm not, I'm not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!

还是不行。你……你变得模糊了，但还是像厄休拉。模糊版厄休拉。等等，或许……我只要一会儿不看你就行。（站起来背对她。）看，有用！我一点都不生气了！这约会太棒了！

Phoebe

Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. Y'know? This is our first date y'know? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and 'Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand?' and y'know first kisses and…(He kisses her)…second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)

埃里克，转过来。（埃里克转身。）我喜欢你，但不该这么费劲。这是我们第一次约会，第一次约会该是心动、来电，会想“他刚碰我手了，是故意的吗？”，还有初吻……（埃里克吻她）……再吻一次。（示意他再吻，两人开始亲热。）

Ross

Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)

谢谢你的咖啡，荷兰语就是bedankt voor de koffie，冈瑟。

Gunther

Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)

你会说荷兰语？真厉害，你有亲戚在荷兰吗？

Ross

Yeah, we're done.

行了，别聊了。

Gunther

Ezel. (Translation: Donkey)

笨蛋。

Ross

Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)

笨蛋？笨蛋？笨蛋？（在书里查单词。）

Joey

(entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?

（走进来）嘿罗斯！要不要去看那个潮池主题的IMAX新电影？

Ross

Really?!

真的？！

Joey

(laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.

（笑）骗你的。我买了尼克斯队的门票，你、我还有钱德勒一起去。

Ross

Sweet!

太棒了！

Joey

All right, well finish your coffee; let's go.

快喝完咖啡，走吧。

Ross

Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.

好，我先回趟家。

Joey

To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, you're not gonna be on TV!

要录像？你每次都这样，又上不了电视！

Ross

No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.

不是，我去看看那间房子空出来没。

Joey

Oh, you're switching apartments?

哦，你要换房子？

Ross

It's not for me, it's for Rachel.

不是我住，是给瑞秋找的。

Joey

But Rachel has an apartment.

但瑞秋有地方住啊。

Ross

Yeah, but when the baby comes she's gonna want to move.

是有，但孩子出生后她肯定想搬家。

Joey

She is?

是吗？

Ross

Yeah, you didn't expect her to live there with a baby did you?

对啊，你总不能让她带着孩子跟你住吧？

Joey

I guess I didn't really think about it.

我倒没想过这个。

Ross

(finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! You're an ezel!

（在书里查到单词）笨蛋！（念出翻译。）嘿冈瑟！你才是笨蛋！

Gunther

Jij hebt seks met ezels. (Translation: You have sex with donkeys.)

你才跟驴上床呢。

Ross

Damnit!

可恶！

Monica

Nice jeans!

裤子真好看！

Brenda

Oh thanks! I like your top.

谢谢！我喜欢你的上衣。

Monica

Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) You're not gettin' it.

哦。（护住衣服。）（小声嘀咕）别想拿走。

(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)

（布伦达弯腰拿簸箕，莫妮卡探身去看印子，结果探得太猛从椅子上摔了下来。）

Brenda

What happened?!

怎么了？！

Monica

Oh, I fell asleep.

我睡着了。

Brenda

I was thinking about taking my lunch break.

我准备午休了。

Monica

Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite for lunch.

哦，能顺便擦下橱柜顶吗？这样能增进食欲。

Brenda

All right.

好。

(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesn't work so she sticks her head between Brenda's legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monica's head between her legs.)

（布伦达拉来椅子，踩上去擦橱柜顶。莫妮卡偷偷走过去弯腰想看印子，看不到就把头伸到布伦达两腿之间。布伦达突然换姿势，夹住了莫妮卡的头。）

Monica

Hello.

嗨。

Brenda

What's going on?!

你干什么呢？！

Monica

I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before, is this not okay?

抱歉，我第一次请女佣，这样不行吗？

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

How was the game?

比赛怎么样？

Joey

Oh, okay. I…I ate way too much.

还行，我吃得太饱了。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Joey

Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin' to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.

哦。（看到披萨，拿起一块咬了一口。）我跟罗斯聊了，他说你在找新住处。

Rachel

Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.

是啊！要是那个荷兰老太太能早点过世，我就能搬到街对面了。

Joey

I was kinda hoping you'd stay.

我其实希望你留下来。

Rachel

Oh but Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.

乔伊，我必须走，这里没地方放孩子。

Joey

No room? It's a baby. It's like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Y'know, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, it's cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldn't even notice it. Where's the baby? (Mumbles that it's over in the corner.)

没地方？就个小婴儿，这么大。（双手比出一尺距离。）可以放这儿啊。（桌子旁。）或者这儿。（椅子上。）多可爱啊，对吧？或者这儿。（浴室门口。）你都注意不到。孩子在哪？（小声说）在角落呢。

Rachel

Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.

亲爱的，不是放哪儿的问题。孩子会改变一切，整天哭。你想想，带女孩回家亲热，旁边有个哇哇哭的孩子，多尴尬。

Joey

I could use a challenge! It's getting pretty easy.

我就喜欢挑战！现在泡妞太容易了。

Rachel

Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I can't do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.

你想让我留下真好，但我不能连累你，会打乱你的生活。

Joey

I love living with you so much. I just wish things didn't have to change.

我超喜欢和你一起住，真希望一切都不变。

Rachel

I know.

我懂。

Joey

Y'know I blame Ross for this.

都怪罗斯。

Rachel

I do too a little bit.

我也有点怪他。

Joey

I'm gonna miss you, you're the hottest roommate I ever had.

我会想你的，你是我最性感的室友。

Phoebe

Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.

哦，糟了！我得走了！我预约了按摩。

Eric

Oh no, stay here we'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.

别啊，留下来继续，我付钱给你。

Phoebe

No, I got in trouble for that before. I'll see you later.

不行，上次就因为这惹麻烦了。回头见。

Eric

Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.

好。（两人吻别，菲比走向门口。）我喜欢你的吻技。

Phoebe

Really? That's the thing I'm worse at! You'll see. (Exits.)

真的？我最不擅长这个了！你以后就知道了。（离开。）

Chandler

(entering) Hi!

（走进来）嗨！

Monica

Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.

嘿！我觉得该给布伦达涨工资。

Chandler

How come?

为什么？

Monica

Because I put my head between her legs.

因为我把头伸到她两腿之间了。

Chandler

To see her pants?

为了看她的裤子？

Monica

They're my pants!

是我的裤子！

Chandler

Are you sure? Did you see the stain?

你确定？看到印子了吗？

Monica

No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark.

没有！我刚摆好姿势，眼前就一黑。

Chandler

God! She is not stealing from us! Okay, will you let this go?

天啊！她没偷我们东西！别胡思乱想了行吗？

Monica

Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) She's wearing my bra!

行吧。（布伦达走进来上厕所，顺手调整了粉色内衣肩带。）她穿我的内衣！

Chandler

Oh dear God!

我的天！

Monica

My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!

我那件粉色带花的！我认得肩带！

Chandler

And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy.

你都没发现自己疯了。

Monica

Here's the plan! Okay? I'm going to leave you get a look at Brenda's bra!

我有办法！你去看看布伦达的内衣！

Chandler

Here's another plan…No!

我有别的办法……不去！

Monica

I would do it but she thinks I'm attracted to her!

我去的话，她会以为我喜欢她！

Chandler

Why?

为什么？

Monica

Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on we're a team! We're in this together!

你忘了我头放哪儿了吗？快点！我们是夫妻，该一起行动！

Chandler

I fear a jury will see it the same way!

陪审团估计也这么觉得！

Monica

Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at woman's breasts all the time!

帮我一次！你不也总盯着女人胸部看吗！

Chandler

You see that?

你看见了？

Monica

Do you see this? (Mimics him drooling over a woman's breasts.)

你没看见吗？（模仿他盯着女人胸部流口水的样子。）

Chandler

All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if it's not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!

行行行，我懂了。但要是不是你的内衣，你能让人家好好打扫吗？

Monica

Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip.

当然！你一看就知道是我的，右边罩杯的蕾丝边有个很明显的破洞。

Chandler

You need new clothes.

你该买新衣服了。

Ross

Hi. How is she?

你好，她怎么样了？

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

It's not looking good.

情况不太好。

Ross

(happily) Oh. (Realizes then sadly) Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. (Flowers in Dutch.)

（开心）哦。（反应过来后难过）哦。我带了点花给她。

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

That's so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.

你真好。（接过花。）要不要进来跟她道别？她肯定会很开心的。

Ross

Oh I don't know that it would.

她估计认不出我了。

Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter

Well, her memory is pretty much gone.

她记性已经很差了。

Ross

All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)

那好吧。（跟着进屋，打量房子。）

Phoebe

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Eric

Welcome back!

你回来了！

Phoebe

Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?

嘿！（跳上床。）我们继续刚才的事吧？

Eric

I don't know, I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon.

我不确定，下午太累了。

Phoebe

Why?

为什么？

Eric

Uh, the sex.

亲热。

Phoebe

What sex?

什么亲热？

Eric

Our sex.

我们亲热啊。

Phoebe

We didn't have sex.

我们没有。

Eric

Well if I didn't have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like…

要不是和你，那就是和一个长得超像……的人。

Phoebe

(simultaneously as Eric) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

（和埃里克同时）恶心！恶心！恶心！

Eric

(simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No!

（和菲比同时）天啊！天啊！

Phoebe

You-you…you had sex with Ursula?!

你……你和厄休拉亲热了？！

Eric

Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and…

嗯，一点点。她走进来，我以为是你，就吻了她，然后……

Phoebe

You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes?!

你没发现她穿的衣服不一样吗？！

Eric

Well I was just so excited to see you.

见到你太兴奋了。

Phoebe

Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Y'know what? This is too weird.

哦，好恶心！算了，太奇怪了。

Eric

No-no it's not! I don't want to lose you! It's-it's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was you-Yeah it is too weird.

不奇怪！我不想失去你！我和她亲热时还以为是你，还跟她说……确实太奇怪了。

Phoebe

So I guess this is it.

那我们到此为止吧。

Eric

Yeah. (They hug.) Maybe it's for the best. You smell just like her.

好吧。（两人拥抱。）或许这样最好，你和她身上味道一样。

Phoebe

Yeah, so do you.

你也是。

Brenda

(noticing him) What are you doing?

（发现他）你干什么呢？

Chandler

I'm leaning. This is where I lean.

靠会儿，我就靠这儿。

Brenda

Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.)

行吧。（走过去整理沙发靠垫。）

Chandler

Brenda a bee!

布伦达，有蜜蜂！

Brenda

What?

什么？

Chandler

Yes! It's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!

飞进你衣服里了，快解开扣子，别被蛰了！

Brenda

I think I know what's going on here.

我知道你想干嘛。

Chandler

You do?

你知道？

Brenda

Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but it's wrong. You're married.

你老婆是同性恋，你肯定不好过，但这样不对，你已经结婚了。

Chandler

I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?

我懂。（两人都笑了。）能让我看看你的内衣吗？

Rachel

Hi!

嘿！

Monica

(looking at Rachel's jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!

（看着瑞秋的牛仔裤）你这条裤子哪来的？！

Rachel

You gave them to me!

你给我的啊！

Monica

No I didn't!

我没有！

Rachel

All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.

好吧，是我拿的。我觉得没事，因为裤裆那有块大墨水印。

Monica

Oh no! Did you take my bra too?!

天啊！我的内衣也是你拿的？！

Rachel

What bra?

什么内衣？

Monica

The pink one with the flowers?!

粉色带花的那件！

Rachel

You mean the one that you're wearing? (Adjusts Monica's pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)

你身上穿的这件？（帮莫妮卡调整内衣肩带，莫妮卡低头看自己衣服。）

Brenda

(entering) I quit! (Storms off.)

（走进来）我不干了！（气冲冲离开。）

Monica

Sounds about right.

意料之中。

Rachel

What is this?

这是什么？

Joey

Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uh-Oh look! Here's a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?

嘿！就是给你看看效果。可以在婴儿床前装屏风，保护宝宝隐私，床上方挂个摇铃。你看！还有婴儿监护器（举起来），宝宝出生前我们可以当对讲机用，厉害吧？

Rachel

You're so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)

你真好。（看到婴儿床里的东西。）天啊！你把抱抱企鹅给宝宝了！

Joey

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… That-that-that's really just to show where the baby would go. Y'know why don't I hold on to him so that there's no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)

呃……就是放在那儿占位的。我还是先收起来吧，免得搞错。（把企鹅拿回来放在椅子上，还跟它道歉。）

Rachel

But Joey the baby is going to be crying, it's going to be loud.

乔伊，宝宝会哭，会很吵。

Joey

I'm loud!

我也很吵！

Rachel

It's gonna be up all night!

会整晚不睡！

Joey

I'm up all night!

我也整晚不睡！

Rachel

It's gonna poop!

会拉屎！

Joey

Hello!

我也会啊！

Rachel

What about all the women you want to bring home?

那你带女孩回家怎么办？

Joey

Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman! Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club!

要是那女孩受不了孩子，我也不想要她！大不了去俱乐部洗手间亲热！

Rachel

Joey, are you sure?

乔伊，你确定？

Joey

Yeah! All right-Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay? But, it'll also be really…really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.

确定！我知道会很难，但也会很幸福。瑞秋，留下吧，我真的很想你留下。

Rachel

I want me to stay too.

我也想留下。

Joey

Ohh!

太好了！

Rachel

Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! It's so cute!

谢谢你。（两人拥抱。）乔伊，这婴儿床好可爱！

Joey

I know! I found it on the street.

是吧！街上捡的。

Rachel

Are you serious-Really?! It's in such good condition.

真的？！这么新。

Joey

Yeah.

是啊。

Rachel

Wow! Whoa-whoa what's under the covers?

哇！被子下面是什么？

Joey

I don't know.

不知道。

Rachel

It's moving.

在动。

Joey

Ew.

恶心。

Rachel

It's still-(Screams)-It's got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!

还在动——（尖叫）有尾巴！快弄走！

Joey

Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)

天啊！好！（赶紧把婴儿床拖出去。）

Dedicated to the Memory of Pearl Harmon

献给珀尔·哈蒙

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I don't care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!

那个老太太死了。我怎么知道？她遗愿是要个告别吻。不过我不在乎，（对瑞秋）你能搬进那房子了，太棒了！

Rachel

Ewww. Yeah. Umm. I think I'm gonna stay here.

呃，是啊。我还是留在这儿吧。

Joey

Isn't that great?

太好了，对吧？

Ross

(stutters looking for words) Ezels!!

（气得说不出话）笨蛋！

End

剧终