The One With The Halloween Party

Monica

Hey you guys?

嘿，大家好呀？

Ross

What?

怎么了？

Monica

I know it's last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.

我知道有点临时，但我们决定办一场万圣节派对。

Phoebe

Oh good! (And there's general excitement.)

太好了！（众人一阵兴奋。）

Monica

And everybody has to wear costumes. (And there's general disconcertment.) Come on! It'll be fun!

而且所有人都得穿戏服。（众人面露难色。）别这样嘛！会很好玩的！

Ross

Well, I'll-I'll be there. I mean I have to wear a costume to all my classes that day anyway so…

嗯，我会去的。反正那天我上课也得穿戏服，所以……

Rachel

Please tell me you're not gonna dress up like a dinosaur.

拜托别告诉我你又要扮恐龙。

Ross

(exhales sarcastically) Not two years in a row.

（讽刺地叹气）总不能连续两年都扮吧。

Joey

Look, I'll come to the party but I'm not dressing up.

听着，派对我会去，但我不穿戏服。

Monica

You have to!

你必须穿！

Joey

No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not…

才不要！万圣节太蠢了！穿奇装异服，假装成别人……

Chandler

You're an actor!

你可是个演员！

Monica

So Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?

对了罗斯，你会带莫娜来吗？

Ross

Yeah. Yeah, I think I will.

会，我想我会带她来。

Joey

That hot girl from their wedding?

就是他们婚礼上那个美女？

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Joey

Well hey-hey if she needs any idea for costumes, she could be a bikini model, or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader huh-Ooh-ooh, Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre-No-no-no! Slutty Leatherface.

那太好了！要是她需要扮装灵感，可以扮比基尼模特、性感护士，或者火辣啦啦队长，对了——德州电锯杀人狂里的人皮脸！不不不！性感版人皮脸。

Phoebe

Now wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?

乔伊在婚礼上不也搭讪她了吗？

Ross

That's right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please don't take her from me.

没错！他搭讪她，最后我追到了她。看来优秀的人才能赢。（对乔伊说）拜托别把她从我身边抢走。

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Phoebe

Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, it's me! Phoebe!

厄休拉！（厄休拉回头笑了笑，继续往前走。）等等！呃，是我！菲比！

Ursula

Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)

哦，我还以为那儿有面镜子呢。好了，拜拜。（又开始往前走。）

Phoebe

Wait a second! So, what's new with you?

等一下！你最近怎么样？

Ursula

Umm, nothing. I mean, I'm getting married next week.

嗯，没什么。我下星期要结婚了。

Phoebe

What?!

什么？！

Ursula

Yeah! Yeah, it's gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.

对！就是个小型仪式，就请家人。（菲比看着她。）他的家人。

Phoebe

Huh. Okay. Well, I'm really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)

好吧。我真为你高兴。（准备走开。）

Ursula

Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess that'd be okay.

等等！如果你想来，应该也可以。

Phoebe

Really?

真的吗？

Ursula

Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.

当然！为什么不呢？你那天就当我妹妹好了。

Phoebe

Yeah. Okay. Umm, y'know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy you're marrying.

好啊。对了，我朋友们今晚在我以前的公寓办万圣节派对，你也可以来。说不定我还能见见你要嫁的人。

Ursula

Huh. Well, I'm supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. I'm supposed to be working right now, so who cares.

嗯。我今晚本该在餐厅上班，现在也该在上班，管它呢。

Phoebe

By the way, it's a costume party.

对了，是化装派对。

Ursula

Oh! Okay, so that's why you're… (Motions to what she's wearing.)

哦！怪不得你穿成这样……（比划了一下菲比的穿着。）

Phoebe

(looks down) No. But thanks. (Walks away.)

（低头看了看）不是。谢谢。（走开了。）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Wait! You're supposed to wear a costume!

等等！你该穿戏服的！

Rachel

I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she won't be able to fit into it.

我穿了呀！我扮一个花大价钱买了裙子、想赶紧穿上的女人，因为过阵子就穿不上了。

Monica

Oh.

好吧。

Rachel

Ahh!

啊！

Monica

I'm Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when you're too big for it.

我是猫女，等你穿不上这条裙子了，我想借来穿。

Rachel

Okay.

行。

(There's a knock on the door.)

（敲门声响起。）

Kids

Trick or treat!

不给糖就捣蛋！

Rachel

Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Y'know, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.

哦！我来发糖好不好？我现在特别想跟小孩子待在一起。自从怀孕后，我的母性本能超强。

Kids

Trick or treat!!

不给糖就捣蛋！！

Rachel

(to them) Just a minute!!! (She takes the candy and opens the door to two parents, a witch, a clown, and a cowgirl.) Look at you guys! Wow! You are a very scary witch. (Gives her candy.)

（对孩子们说）等一下！！！（她拿起糖果开门，门外是两对父母，还有扮女巫、小丑和女牛仔的小孩。）你们好可爱！哇！你扮的女巫好吓人。（给她糖果。）

Witch

Thank you.

谢谢。

Rachel

And you are a very funny clown. (Gives him candy.)

你扮的小丑好搞笑。（给他糖果。）

Clown

Thank you.

谢谢。

Rachel

(to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Y'know, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I don't suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but…

（对女牛仔说）你的装扮超时尚。我在拉夫劳伦上班，今年秋季系列全是马术主题。你应该没看过《英国时尚》的封面吧……

Cowgirl

(interrupting) Can I just have the candy?

（打断她）能直接给我糖吗？

Rachel

Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)

好，给你。（往她袋子里扔了些糖，女孩走开。菲比扮成女超人走过来，和扮猫女的莫妮卡对视。）

Phoebe

Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.

啊，猫女。我们又见面了。

Monica

So we do Supergirl.

是啊，女超人。

Phoebe

No, it's me. Phoebe!

不是，是我，菲比！

Chandler

(entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume…

（从卧室出来，穿着大大的粉色兔子服）莫妮卡！能跟你说句话吗？谢谢你帮我准备戏服……

Rachel

(To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?

（对莫妮卡说）天呐，是你让他穿成这样的？

Monica

What?! I thought he'd love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit!

怎么了？！我以为他会喜欢！他小时候最喜欢的书就是《天鹅绒兔子》！

Chandler

The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white!

《天鹅绒兔子》是棕白相间的！

Monica

Well, it was either a pink bunny or no bunny at all.

要么穿粉色兔子服，要么就没兔子服可穿。

Chandler

No bunny at all!! Always no bunny at all!!!

那就别穿兔子服！！！永远别穿！！！

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Monica

You didn't dress up either?!

你也没穿戏服？！

Joey

Yes I did! I'm Chandler. (Looks at Chandler) Dude, what happened?

我穿了呀！我扮钱德勒。（看向钱德勒）兄弟，你怎么回事？

Chandler

How is that me?

这哪像我了？

Joey

Okay. I'm Chandler (makes a growling/gurgling sound at the end and the girls laugh.)

好吧，我就是钱德勒。（结尾发出一阵咕噜怪声，女生们笑了。）

Phoebe

(To Chandler) That is so you!

（对钱德勒说）这简直太像你了！

Chandler

When have I ever done that?!

我什么时候发出过这种声音？！

Joey

When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)

我什么时候发出过？！（又做了一遍那个声音。）

(There's a knock on the door.)

（敲门声响起。）

Girl

Trick or treat!

不给糖就捣蛋！

Rachel

Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well you're just the prettiest ballerina I've ever seen.

哦！（开门看到一个扮芭蕾舞演员的小女孩）你是我见过最漂亮的小芭蕾舞者。

Ballerina

Thank you. (Pirouettes.)

谢谢。（转了个圈。）

Rachel

Oh wow! That deserves another piece of candy.

哇！再奖励你一块糖。

Ballerina

Thank you. (Does another ballerina move.)

谢谢。（又做了个芭蕾动作。）

Rachel

Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.

那必须再奖励你好几块糖。

Ballerina

I love you! (Hugs Rachel.)

我爱你！（抱住瑞秋。）

Rachel

Ohh… Oh, honey here. Take it all. (Pours the entire large bowl into her bag and closes the door.) Monica! We need more candy?

哎呀……宝贝，给你，都拿去吧。（把一整碗糖倒进女孩袋子里，关上门。）莫妮卡！我们还需要糖吗？

Monica

What?! There's only been like four kids.

什么？！才来了四个小孩而已。

Rachel

Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.

我知道，但有个小孩说爱我，我就把糖都给她了。

Phoebe

No wonder your pregnant.

难怪你会怀孕。

Ross

(entering) Hey! (He's wearing a costume as well.)

（走进来）嘿！（他也穿了戏服。）

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

What are you supposed to be?

你扮的是什么？

Ross

Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, I'm a potato or a…spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that he's wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes… (They're still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!

记得俄罗斯的人造卫星斯普特尼克吗？（众人看着他。）我扮一颗土豆，或者说马铃薯。这些是我的天线。（指着头上的滤锅，锅上粘了旧电视天线。）所以斯普特尼克，就变成……（众人还是一脸困惑）土豆尼克。土豆尼克！

Chandler

Wow! I don't have the worst costume anymore!

哇！终于不是我的戏服最丑了！

Joey

(sees Ross) Hey all right, Ross came as doody.

（看到罗斯）好家伙，罗斯扮成便便了。

Ross

No, I-I'm not doody.

不是，我不是便便。

Monica

No, space doody!

是太空便便！

(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fiancée Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)

（乔伊冲他比了个OK手势，罗斯冲过去想打他，被钱德勒拦住。与此同时，菲比走向零食桌，一个男人走进来，原来是厄休拉的未婚夫埃里克，他拍了菲比的屁股。）

Eric

Aren't you gonna give me a kiss?

不亲我一下吗？

Phoebe

Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.

可以，但你得先告诉我你到底是谁。

Eric

Ursula?

厄休拉？

Phoebe

Ursula's fiancée?

厄休拉的未婚夫？

Eric

Oh my God, you're the sister!

天呐，你是她妹妹！

Phoebe

Yeah.

对。

Eric

Okay, I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass.

完了，我刚拍了我未来小姨子的屁股。

Phoebe

Yeah.

是啊。

Eric

I'm an idiot. Uh, is your mother here? Maybe I can give her a little slap on the butt.

我真是个笨蛋。你妈妈在这儿吗？要不我也拍一下她的屁股。

Phoebe

My mother killed herself.

我妈妈自杀了。

Eric

She, now I knew that and…now I'm sweating. Look at me, I'm really sweating-Now I'm saying, "Look at me," I'm getting even sweatier. I think I probably should go.

啊，我知道这事……我开始冒汗了。你看我，汗流不止了——我还在说“你看我”，汗流得更厉害了。我想我还是走吧。

Phoebe

No-no! That's okay, we'll just start over. Okay? Hi! I'm Phoebe.

别呀！没事的，我们重新认识一下。好吗？嗨！我是菲比。

Eric

Eric. (They shake hands and he's squinting. And, no, it's not me.)

埃里克。（两人握手，埃里克眯着眼。当然，不是我本人。）

Phoebe

Why are you looking at me like that?

你为什么这么看着我？

Eric

'Cause the sweat's getting in my eyes and its burning.

汗水流进眼睛里了，有点刺痛。

Phoebe

Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?

这样啊。（递给他一张纸巾。）你扮的是什么？

Eric

I don't think they have a name for it. It's just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.

我觉得没名字，我一紧张就狂出汗。

Phoebe

(laughs) No I-I meant your costume.

（笑了）不是，我是说你的戏服。

Eric

Oh umm, I'm the solar system. (He's wearing a black sweater with the planets glued on around the sun.) Yeah, my students helped me make it-I teach the second grade.

哦，我扮太阳系。（他穿着黑色毛衣，毛衣上太阳周围粘了各个行星。）是我学生帮我做的，我教二年级。

Phoebe

I love the second grade!

我超喜欢二年级！

Eric

Really?

真的吗？

Phoebe

Yeah! It's so much better than first grade when you don't know what's going on and definitely better than third grade. Y'know with all the politics and mind games.

对啊！比懵懵懂懂的一年级好多了，也绝对比三年级好，三年级全是勾心斗角和耍心机。

Eric

So what do you do?

那你是做什么的？

Phoebe

Umm, I'm a masseuse…by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)

我白天是按摩师。（双手叉腰，摆出女超人的姿势。）

Eric

Y'know you don't have to stand here with me, believe me…

你不用一直陪着我的，真的……

Phoebe

No I'm having fun. I'm really-And I'm really-really excited for you and Ursula.

没事，我很开心。我真的……真的为你和厄休拉感到开心。

Eric

Oh I feel very lucky, she's great. I think she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

我觉得自己很幸运，她人很好，是我见过最美的女人。

Phoebe

Thank you.

谢谢夸奖。

Monica

Hey Joey?

嘿乔伊？

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

Monica

You read comic books right?

你看漫画书对吧？

Joey

Exclusively.

只看漫画。

Monica

Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?

你觉得猫女和女超人打架，谁会赢？

Joey

Catwoman, hands down.

绝对是猫女。

Monica

Yeah…

是吗……

Joey

But between you and Phoebe, I'd have to give the edge to Phoebe.

但你和菲比比，我觉得菲比胜算大。

Monica

What?! Really?!

什么？！真的吗？！

Joey

Are you kiddin'? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She-She's not standing right behind me is she?

你开玩笑吧？菲比以前流浪街头，脾气又火爆。她……她没站在我后面吧？

Monica

No you're fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?

没有，你放心。（乔伊还是回头看了一眼。）那你觉得我能打过瑞秋吗？

Joey

I'm not sure.

不好说。

Monica

What?! Come on I am tough! Punch me right here! (Her stomach) As hard as you can!

什么？！我很强壮的！使劲打我这里！（指着肚子）用全力打！

Joey

Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesn't matter.

你冷静点！干嘛这么较真？这又不重要。

Monica

Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, y'know, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?

是吗？那如果我说罗斯或钱德勒能打过你，你怎么说？

Joey

I would say, "Woman, please!"

我会说，“大姐，别闹了！”

Phoebe

(walking over) Hey. Ursula's fiancée is really sweet! He's a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Y'know normally y'know, I don't like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!

（走过来）嘿，厄休拉的未婚夫人超好！他是老师，还做很多义工。我平时不喜欢爱出汗的男生，但他嘛，我真想帮他擦汗！

Monica

Oh my God, Phoebe!

天呐，菲比！

Phoebe

What?

怎么了？

Monica

You're getting a crush on your sister's fiancée.

你居然对你姐姐的未婚夫动心了。

Phoebe

No I'm not! You are!

我没有！是你动心了！

Joey

(To Monica) Here comes the temper.

（对莫妮卡说）看吧，脾气上来了。

(There's a knock on the door and Rachel opens it to a little girl.)

（敲门声响起，瑞秋开门看到一个小女孩。）

Girl

Trick or treat!

不给糖就捣蛋！

Rachel

Hi! Y'know what honey, we're actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but I'm out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?

嗨！宝贝，我们糖刚发完了，有人出去买了。我本来给钱的，但钱也没了。要不我给你开张支票？

Girl

Okay!

好！

Rachel

Okay, what's your name?

好，你叫什么名字？

Girl

Lelani Mayolanofavich.

莱拉妮·梅奥拉诺法维奇。

Rachel

Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to cash.

行，我直接开成现金支票。

Mona

(entering) Hi!

（走进来）嗨！

Rachel

Hey Mona!

嘿莫娜！

Chandler

Oh! Hi!

哦！嗨！

Mona

Hi!

嗨！

Chandler

Joey's gonna be thrilled! He was hoping you'd come by as a slutty nurse.

乔伊肯定超兴奋！他还盼着你扮性感护士来呢。

Mona

Umm, actually I'm just a nurse.

嗯，我就扮普通护士。

Chandler

You'd think that would embarrass me, but you see I'm maxed out.

本来以为这话会让我尴尬，但我已经尴尬到底了。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Mona

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

You made it!

你来了！

Mona

Wait-wait! You're umm, you're a potato…

等等！你扮的是……土豆……

Ross

Well, I'm a spud…

是，我是土豆……

Mona

And the antennae…Oh my God you're Spudnik!

还有天线……天呐，你是土豆尼克！

Ross

Yes!

对！

Chandler

(To Ross) Marry her.

（对罗斯说）娶了她吧。

Joey

Okay, here's a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.

我问你个有意思的，罗斯和钱德勒打架，谁会赢？

Monica

I can't answer that! Chandler's my husband.

我不能回答！钱德勒是我老公。

Joey

So Ross?

所以是罗斯？

Monica

Yeah.

对。

Eric

Hey beautiful.

嗨，美女。

Phoebe

Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?

嗨，帅哥。（从埃里克肩膀后看到厄休拉）天呐。（两人接吻，菲比尴尬地走开。）看你们俩，什么时候认识的？

Eric

Two weeks ago.

两周前。

Phoebe

Two weeks? That's it?

就两周？这么短？

Eric

Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, and it's not like me to do something so impulsive, but she's just so perfect, and we have so much in common.

是啊，听起来很疯狂，我平时不会这么冲动，但她太完美了，我们有很多共同点。

Phoebe

Oh really?

是吗？

Eric

We're both teachers.

我们都是老师。

Phoebe

Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)

是吗？（厄休拉示意菲比别说话。）

Eric

And we were both in the Peace Corps.

我们还都参加过和平队。

Phoebe

Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I don't know.")

“我不清楚。”）

Eric

In fact when we were building houses in Uruguay, we were, we were just two towns apart and we never met.

我们在乌拉圭建房子的时候，就隔着两个小镇，居然从没见过面。

Ursula

Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?

是啊，我到那儿的时候还不是小镇，离开的时候才成了小镇。（对埃里克说）我们去喝个烂醉吧？

Eric

Sure.

好啊。

(They walk away.)

（两人走开了。）

Chandler

Howdy doody.

你好啊，便便。

Ross

That's funny. Yeah. Y'know you're the funniest man here in a pink bunny costume his wife made him wear.

真搞笑。你穿老婆逼你穿的粉色兔子服，还好意思笑别人。

Chandler

Oh relax man, relax. You're looking a little flushed.

别激动，你脸都红了。

Joey

(To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.

（对莫妮卡说）嘿，这下我们的问题有答案了。

Chandler

What question?

什么问题？

Joey

Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?

我和莫妮卡刚才在聊，你和罗斯打架谁能赢。

Chandler

There's no question.

这还用问。

Joey

So you think Ross too?

所以你也觉得是罗斯？

(Monica turns around slowly.)

（莫妮卡慢慢转过身。）

Chandler

(To Monica) You picked Ross?!

（对莫妮卡说）你选了罗斯？！

Monica

Ross is really strong! Okay, he's the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.

罗斯很强壮！他是你们三个里最强的！（乔伊看着她。）除了乔伊。

Chandler

I cannot believe you didn't pick me.

我不敢相信你居然不选我。

Ross

Uh, in her defense, she's right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.

说实话，她没说错，我确实更强，能轻松打败你。

Chandler

Oh really?! You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)

是吗？！你觉得你更强？那就证明一下啊！（推了罗斯一把，罗斯往后倒，莫娜扶住了他。）

Ross

Oh I'll prove it! I'll prove it like a theorem!!

我会证明的！像证明定理一样证明给你看！！

(They start to fight with Ross pulling on Chandler's ears and Chandler hitting Ross over the head with his carrot.)

（两人打了起来，罗斯揪钱德勒的耳朵，钱德勒用胡萝卜敲罗斯的头。）

Monica

Wait-wait!! Okay, stop it! Stop it! Stop! (Breaks it up.) Now listen, no one's gonna fight in this apartment.

别打了！住手！别打了！（拉开两人。）听着，不准在公寓里打架。

Joey

Hey Monica! (Grabs her and pulls her into the living room.) People came to see a fight, let's give 'em what they came for!

莫妮卡！（拉她到客厅。）大家都是来看打架的，那就满足他们！

Mona

Hey, you guys could arm wrestle.

你们可以掰手腕啊。

Joey

Yeah. Listen to the slutty nurse.

对，听性感护士的。

Chandler

(To Ross) You're going down.

（对罗斯说）你输定了。

Ross

Oh yeah? You're going further down! Downtown!

是吗？你输得更惨，输到姥姥家！

Joey

Seriously guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.

说真的，你们的狠话太尴尬了。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.

冈瑟！你买糖回来了！太谢谢你了！你人真好。

Gunther

Really?

真的吗？

Rachel

Honey, someday you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.

宝贝，你以后一定会成为某个男人的幸运星。

(There's a knock on the door.)

（敲门声响起。）

Kid

Trick or treat!

不给糖就捣蛋！

Rachel

Gotta go! (Opens the door to a boy in a cape.) Hi! Wow! There you go! (Hands him some candy.)

我来！（开门看到一个披斗篷的小男孩。）嗨！哇！给你！（递给他一些糖。）

Boy in the Cape

My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.

我朋友刘易斯说你给钱。

Rachel

Oh yeah, we were but umm, now we've got candy.

是啊，之前给，现在有糖了。

Boy in the Cape

I'd rather have the money.

我还是想要钱。

Rachel

Well, that-that's not your choice. Happy Halloween!

不行，没得选。万圣节快乐！

Boy in the Cape

This isn't fair.

不公平。

Rachel

Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff?

你就披个斗篷，我就得白给你东西，这就公平吗？

Boy in the Cape

Shut up!

闭嘴！

Rachel

You shut up!

你才闭嘴！

(The gang gets interested now.)

（众人都凑过来看热闹。）

Boy in the Cape

You can't tell me to shut up!

你不能让我闭嘴！

Rachel

Uh, I think I just did. And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!

我刚说了，再说一次，闭嘴！

Joey

Rach?

瑞秋？

Rachel

(To Joey) Yeah I know-I'm good-I got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, I've got one more thing I have to say to you…oh right! Shut up!

（对乔伊说）我知道，我没事！（乔伊慢慢后退。）（对小男孩说）我还有一句话要对你说……对了！闭嘴！

Boy in the Cape

You're a mean old woman. (Runs away.)

你这个坏老太婆。（跑开了。）

Rachel

No! Wait no! Shut up-I mean don't cry! Let me get my checkbook! (Grabs her checkbook and runs after him.)

别跑！等等！闭嘴——我是说别哭！我拿支票簿给你！（抓起支票簿追了出去。）

Monica

(To Chandler) Look honey, you don't have to do this, okay? It's the strength you have inside that means the most to me. You're loyal, you're honest, and you have integrity! That's the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!

（对钱德勒说）亲爱的，没必要比这个，好吗？我最看重的是你内心的力量，你忠诚、诚实、正直，这才是我爱的男人该有的品质！

Chandler

That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!

这话对我没用。（对罗斯说）来吧！

Phoebe

Hi liar!

骗子！

Ursula

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Y'know the only reason he's marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.

他愿意娶你，就是因为信了你说的那些谎话。

Ursula

Well they could be true.

说不定是真的呢。

Phoebe

But they're not!

根本不是！

Ursula

Yeah, it's a fine line huh?

真真假假，不好说。

Phoebe

Why are you lying to him?

你为什么要骗他？

Ursula

I don't know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.

不知道。他说他做过很多事，我就跟着说我也做过，他特别开心，挺好玩的。

Eric

(entering) Honey?

（走进来）亲爱的？

Ursula

(waving the cigarette in Phoebe's face) It's a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!

（把烟在菲比面前晃了晃）抽烟是恶心的坏习惯，你赶紧戒掉！

Eric

She's helped so many people to quit smoking.

她帮很多人戒过烟。

Ursula

Y'know, we'd really better get going.

我们该走了。

Eric

Oh right, you've got a church group meeting tonight.

对，你今晚还有教会小组聚会。

Ursula

Right. (Walks down the stairs.)

嗯。（下楼了。）

Eric

(To Phoebe) Well, it was nice meeting you.

（对菲比说）很高兴认识你。

Phoebe

You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!

我也是。厄休拉！今晚见到你太开心了！！

Joey

(entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! We're waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each other's hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?

（走进来）菲比快进来！兔子对便便，我们等着呢！（两人进屋。）（对钱德勒和罗斯说）好了，一局定胜负。（两人握好手腕准备比赛。）等等！赢了有什么奖励？

Ross

Pride.

尊严。

Chandler

And dignity.

还有面子。

Joey

(laughing) Okay, if you say so. All right, ready? Set! Go!

（笑了）行吧。准备好了吗？开始！

(They start wrestling, only they are unable to move either one's arm despite a huge strain on their faces and a cheering crowd.)

（两人开始较劲，脸憋得通红，周围人欢呼，但两人的胳膊纹丝不动。）

Mona

(To Joey) Wow! They're both really strong.

（对乔伊说）哇，他们俩都好强壮。

Joey

Or equally weak.

或者一样弱。

Monica

(To Phoebe) Oh God!

（对菲比说）天呐！

Phoebe

Hmm?

怎么了？

Monica

Chandler's making his sex face.

钱德勒的表情像在做那种事。

(Basically Chandler's face looks like he's not all there and is staring off into the distance…)

（钱德勒眼神放空，表情怪异……）

Ross

(To Chandler) So, you gettin' tired?

（对钱德勒说）累了吧？

Chandler

Nope! I can do this all day.

才没有！我能比一整天。

Ross

Yeah? Me too. (Pause) Gettin' a little tired though.

是吗？我也能。（停顿）不过有点累了。

Chandler

God, I'm exhausted.

天呐，我快累死了。

Ross

Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Mona's standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, she's talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!

我快撑不住了。莫娜就在那边。（回头看）天呐，她在跟乔伊说话！你让我赢吧！

Chandler

No way! If anything you've gotta let me win! My wife thinks I'm a wimp!

不行！你得让我赢！我老婆觉得我很弱！

Ross

Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin' people up! And I'm dressed as doody.

你至少有老婆！我离了好几次婚，还搞大别人肚子，现在还扮成便便。

Chandler

You're Spudnik.

你是土豆尼克。

Ross

Come on, who are we kidding? I'm doody. Please? She's watchin'.

别装了，我就是便便。求你了，她看着呢。

Chandler

Fine. (He lets Ross win.) Oh no!

好吧。（故意输给罗斯。）糟了！

Ross

(celebrating) Oh yeah!

（欢呼）赢啦！

Mona

(clapping) Yay! My hero!

（鼓掌）太棒了！我的英雄！

Joey

(to her) You're a weird lady.

（对莫娜说）你真奇怪。

Eric

(entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.

（走进来）嗨，厄休拉说她把包落这儿了。

Phoebe

Oh.

哦。

Eric

(finds it) What a relief. It has all the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.

（找到包）太好了，里面有她祷告小组所有人的联系方式。

Phoebe

Sure it does. Yeah, yeah.

可不是嘛，呵呵。

Eric

Well, I guess I'll see you at the wedding. (Exits and Phoebe follows him into the hall.)

婚礼上见。（离开，菲比跟着他到走廊。）

Phoebe

Umm listen, I don't think…I don't think I'm gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.

那个……我可能去不了婚礼了。祝你一切顺利。

Eric

I think we'll be okay. Besides it's so perfect and (whispering) she's been saving herself for me.

我们会好好的，一切都很完美。（小声说）她还是处女，一直为我守身如玉。

Phoebe

Okay I can't let you do this! She's lying to you.

我不能看着你被骗！她在撒谎。

Eric

What?

什么？

Phoebe

She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursula's purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. Yeah-Not a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, here's the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, here's her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?

她在骗你，我能证明。稍等。（拿起厄休拉的包翻找，拿出一些纸。）你看，这不是祷告小组名单，是银行平面图。（拿出工作牌。）这是她餐厅服务员的工作牌！她不是老师，是服务员。还有驾照，她年龄肯定也撒谎了，她说自己多大？

Eric

She told me she was 25.

她说她25岁。

Phoebe

Oh, I almost don't want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember I'm a minute younger.

我都不忍心给你看。（递给他驾照。）记住，我比她小一岁。

Eric

I am so stupid. Of course she was lying! She's not a teacher. There's not such a thing as the top secret elementary school for the children of spies.

我真傻，她肯定在撒谎！她不是老师，哪有什么间谍子女专属秘密小学。

Phoebe

No. You're not, you're not stupid.

别这么说，你不傻。

Eric

I'm not smart. (Phoebe has no comeback.) I just wanted so much to…be impulsive once. To be romantic.

我就是笨。（菲比无言以对。）我只是想冲动一次，浪漫一次。

Phoebe

That's good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just…you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?

这没什么，人就该冲动浪漫，但……你找错人了。（埃里克看着她。）怎么了？

Eric

It's just so weird, two people look so much alike, and so different.

真奇怪，你们俩长得一模一样，性格却差这么多。

Ursula

(yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Let's go!!

（楼下大喊）埃里克！走了！

Eric

I'd better go, deal…

我该走了。

Phoebe

Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)

嗯，走吧。（两人握手。）

Ursula

Hurry up I gotta pray!!

快点！我还要祷告呢！

(Phoebe hands Eric Ursula's purse and he walks away.)

（菲比把厄休拉的包递给埃里克，埃里克离开。）

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hey! Well, I had to give the kid fifty bucks to stop crying.

嘿！我给了那小孩50块，他才不哭了。

Joey

That's not so bad.

还好啦。

Rachel

No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!

不止，我还得假装他女朋友陪他去了好几家。我真不擅长跟小孩相处！

Joey

Come on! You're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween. Y'know, they're all greedy and hopped up on sugar!

别这么说！你挺好的，小孩万圣节都疯疯癫癫的，又贪心又爱吃糖！

Rachel

Really? You think that's all it is?

是吗？你觉得就因为这个？

Joey

Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas…and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime they're hungry or sleepy. Y'know, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)

可不是嘛！万圣节最糟，圣诞节、生日也一样，夏天也闹腾，饿了困了也闹。小孩就是难带，祝你好运。（走开了。）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Monica

Look, I wanted to tell I'm-I'm sorry you lost.

对不起，害你输了。

Chandler

Listen, I've got a secret for ya. I let him win.

跟你说个秘密，我故意让他赢的。

Monica

(laughs) Is that a secret or a lie.

（笑了）这算秘密还是谎话。

Chandler

No, I let him win-Ross!

真的，我让他赢的——罗斯！

Ross

Yeah?

嗯？

Chandler

Would you tell her I let you win please?

跟她说我故意让你赢的，行吗？

Ross

Oh. Yeah. (Sarcastically) Uh Chandler let me win. No, Chandler's really strong. Oh my arm is so sore. Oh nurse! (Waddles over to Mona.)

好。（讽刺地）钱德勒故意让我赢的，他可强壮了。我的胳膊好酸，护士！（一瘸一拐走向莫娜。）

Chandler

I am strong! I'll show you! (He sits down at the table.)

我很强壮！我证明给你看！（坐到桌边。）

Monica

Chandler please!

别闹了钱德勒！

Chandler

Oh what's the matter? Are you scared?

怎么了？你怕了？

Monica

Let's go big bunny!

来啊，大兔子！

(They assume the starting position.)

（两人摆好掰手腕姿势。）

Chandler

Okay. 1…2…3-Go! (Once again he's at a stalemate, but this time he's in pain.) (Pause) I'm gonna kill myself!

好，1、2、3，开始！（又僵持住了，钱德勒疼得脸扭曲。）（停顿）我要死了！

End

剧终