The One With The Videotape

Chandler

Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know I love you. I had a great time on our honeymoon, and I can't wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.

等等，进去之前我想让你知道我爱你。蜜月过得很开心，我迫不及待想进去和你共度余生。

Monica

You're really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells he's wearing.)

你还真一直戴着这条贝壳项链啊？（指着他脖子上的贝壳项链。）

(Joey and Phoebe burst forth from his apartment.)

（乔伊和菲比从公寓里冲了出来。）

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Hey! You're back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)

嘿！你们回来了！（互相拥抱亲吻。）

Monica

Hi sweetie!

嗨，亲爱的！

Phoebe

Come on in!

快进来！

(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachel's forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)

（他们抢过行李，拖进乔伊和瑞秋的公寓，莫妮卡和钱德勒只好跟着进去。）

Phoebe

So how was the honeymoon?

蜜月过得怎么样？

Monica

Oh, so much fun. But the best part is, we met this incredible couple on the way back.

哦，超好玩的。最棒的是，我们回来路上遇到了一对超棒的夫妻。

Phoebe

That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.

那是最棒的事？（对钱德勒说）蜜月过得不错嘛，猛男。

Monica

No, they were really cool. They were on their honeymoon too!

不是啦，他们人真的超好，也在度蜜月！

Chandler

They're terrific, and they live right here in the city.

他们人超棒，而且就住在本市。

Monica

Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.

对呀，我们要不要给他们打电话？会不会太早了？我好想打。

Chandler

I'm sorry, we're just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.

抱歉，我们就是太兴奋了，终于有一对夫妻可以一起玩了。

Monica

I know.

我懂。

Joey

A couple? Like two people? Like (points to himself) one (points to Phoebe), two people?

一对夫妻？就是两个人？比如（指着自己）一个（指着菲比）两个人？

Monica

This is different! Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.

不一样啦！格雷格和珍妮是情侣。

Phoebe

Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, I'm Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.

哦，格雷格和珍妮，好讨厌！（生气地）嗨，格雷格，我是钱德勒，这是莫妮卡。嗨，莫妮卡，这是珍妮。嗨，珍妮。嗨，格雷格。

Chandler

Listen, they are really great. If you just got a chance…

听我说，他们人真的很好，你们要是有机会认识……

Joey

Y'know what? Why don't you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?

知道吗？不如把纪念品给我们，然后赶紧从这儿消失？

Chandler

We really…didn't get a chance to…

我们真的……没来得及买……

Phoebe

You have got to be kidding me!

你在开玩笑吧！

Monica

We didn't get anything for anyone.

我们没给任何人带礼物。

Joey

Hm-mm! Yeah nice necklace!

哼！项链挺好看啊！

Monica

That you can have.

送你了。

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

All

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hello!

哈喽！

Rachel

Welcome home.

欢迎回家。

Ross

So, how was the honeymoon?

蜜月过得怎么样？

Monica

It was great! It was great! How about you?! I mean you're having a baby!

超棒！超棒！你们呢？！你们都快有宝宝了！

Rachel

Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!

哦！看！我有超声波照片！

Monica

Oh great! (Shows them the picture.)

哦太棒了！（给大家看照片。）

Chandler

Ross! It's got your wavy black lines!

罗斯！上面有你标志性的黑色波浪纹！

Monica

All right, so now that Ross knows can you tell us y'know how it happened? I mean, when did it happen? How many times did it happen?

好了，罗斯都知道了，快跟我们说说怎么回事吧？什么时候发生的？发生了几次？

Phoebe

Monica! That's not right! Start with where.

莫妮卡！不能这么问！得从地点开始说。

(Rachel looks at Ross and gets his approval.)

（瑞秋看向罗斯，得到了他的点头同意。）

Rachel

Well it happened about six weeks ago, and uh I had just got home from work and Ross was already there 'cause I guess he had been hanging out with Joey.

大概六周前发生的，我刚下班回家，罗斯已经在那儿了，我猜他之前和乔伊待在一起。

Joey

You're welcome buddy.

不客气，兄弟。

Ross

(glaring at him) Yeah, thanks. (Joey nods no problem.)

（瞪了他一眼）是啊，谢了。（乔伊无所谓地点点头。）

Rachel

And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.

我有好多工作要做，好心的罗斯主动提出帮我。然后我们喝了点酒，聊了起来，接着不知怎么的，罗斯突然就对我示好了。

Ross

(laughs) Umm that's…that's a little misleading.

（笑了笑）嗯，这话……有点误导人。

Rachel

What is?

哪里误导了？

Ross

The lie you just told.

你刚说的谎话。

Rachel

That-that you came on to me?

你说你对我示好是谎话？

Ross

There's the one!

就是这句！

Rachel

But you did! I mean, let's be honest.

但你确实是！说实话嘛。

Ross

Yes let's. Y'know what? Uh, it's-it's not important. What is important is that, is that we're having a baby. And it's not-Doesn't matter who came on to who.

好，那就说实话。知道吗？这事儿不重要。重要的是我们要有孩子了。谁先主动的根本无所谓。

Joey

Whom. (Everyone looks at him shocked.) That's right.

用“谁”的宾格。（所有人震惊地看着他。）没错。

Rachel

You know you kissed me first.

明明是你先吻我的。

Ross

What? What?! You were begging me to kiss you! You-you-you were sending me signals all over the place!

什么？什么？！是你求我吻你的！你一直在给我各种暗示！

Rachel

I was sending you signals?

我给你暗示？

Ross

Yeah!

对！

Rachel

Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)

拜托。好吧，在场有人觉得我会给罗斯示好的暗示吗？请举手。（只有罗斯举起了手。）

Ross

Y'know what?! It doesn't matter! It doesn't matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!

知道吗？！无所谓！你们怎么想不重要！重要的是事实！

Rachel

Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, 'cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?

好吧。那你说的暗示，给我解释解释，说不定我以后得注意点。我现在有给你这种暗示吗？

Ross

Y'know what? Y'know what? Rachel, just-just drop it.

算了，算了。瑞秋，别纠结了。

Rachel

No please, show me how I begged you!

不行，你得说清楚我是怎么求你的！

Ross

I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) It's an expression.

我可以证明，我有录像带！（全场一片寂静）打个比方而已。

Commercial Break

广告时段

Phoebe

I can't believe he taped the two of them having sex!

不敢相信他居然录了他们做爱的画面！

Joey

Yeah! You gotta tell a girl before you tape her. Such a rookie mistake.

就是！拍之前得跟女孩说一声啊。新手才会犯的错。

Chandler

Y'know who has a great video camera?

知道谁有超棒的摄像机吗？

Phoebe

(nasally) Greg and Jenny?

（捏着鼻子说）格雷格和珍妮？

Monica

Do you still wanna call 'em? I wanna call 'em.

你还想给他们打电话吗？我好想打。

Chandler

Let's call 'em.

那就打吧。

Joey

Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!

对！问问他们有没有给朋友带纪念品！

(Monica goes over and dials their number.)

（莫妮卡走过去拨通了号码。）

Monica

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?

（打电话）喂？（听了一会儿）第八街熟食店？

Joey

Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin' to that place.

嘿，挂了吧！跟那地方说话都能食物中毒。

Monica

(on phone) Uh sorry, wrong number. (Hangs up)

（打电话）抱歉，打错了。（挂了电话）

Chandler

Here you go. (Shows her the number again.)

给你。（又把号码给她看了一遍。）

Monica

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) (To All) It's the deli again!

（打电话）喂？（听了一会儿）（对众人说）又是熟食店！

Joey

All right! I'll have a sandwich!

太好了！我要点个三明治！

Monica

(hangs up) I don't think this number's right!

（挂了电话）我觉得这号码不对！

(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)

（乔伊和菲比笑了起来。）

Chandler

What?

笑什么？

Phoebe

You got fake numbered.

人家给你们假号码了。

Monica

What?! People don't do that!

什么？！哪有人这么做的！

Joey

Oh I think we do.

我们就会啊。

Monica

They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?

他们给我们假号码？为什么？他们为什么要这么做？

Chandler

I don't know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.

我不知道啊！你跟他们聊得那么开心，问了那么多有深度又棒的问题。

Monica

And you've never been funnier. Joke, joke, joke, you were a hoot!

你也从来没这么幽默过，一个接一个的笑话，太逗了！

Joey

Y'know what? Don't worry about it, you still got me and Phoebe.

别担心，你们还有我和菲比呢。

Phoebe

Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects.

不好意思，我才不要格雷格和珍妮挑剩下的。

Ross

(entering) Rachel won't talk to me! She won't even open the door!

（走进来）瑞秋不理我！连门都不给我开！

Phoebe

Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!

哼，真奇怪呢。变态！

Ross

Okay, listen I am not a pervert!

听着，我不是变态！

Phoebe

That's like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!

这就是变态的口头禅！没错！他们还会让你举起右手，左手伸进裤子里，然后再说这句话！

Ross

Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, here's what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.

拍瑞秋不是我故意的。事情是这样的，乔伊，你可以帮我作证。大概一个半月前，我找你说过一件事？一件私事。

Joey

Personal thing? What personal thing? I don't know.

私事？什么私事？我不知道。

Ross

About…about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadn't had sex in months?

关于……性方面的？（乔伊疑惑地看着他）我好几个月没做爱了。

Joey

(laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin' about.

（笑了）我当然知道你说的是什么。

Six Weeks Earlier

六周前

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey.

嘿。

Ross

Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you about something I'm, I'm really uncomfortable talking about.

有空吗？我想跟你说件事，有点难以启齿。

Joey

Sure. What? About uh, you showering with your mom?

说吧。什么事？难道是你和你妈一起洗澡？

Ross

I actually had a topic in mind! I'm, I'm kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.

我有正经事要说！我最近……性生活很空白。

Joey

Whoa, for like months?

哇，好几个月了？

Ross

Five to be lying, six.

说五个月是撒谎，其实六个月了。

Joey

Six months? Whoa that's rough.

六个月？太惨了吧。

Ross

Well, I mean it's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.

也不算太糟。我学会欣赏生活中的小美好了，比如鸟鸣和天空的颜色。

Joey

The sky's blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!

天空是蓝的，罗斯，我昨天还做爱了呢！

Ross

Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okay-I'm scared for my health!

拜托帮帮我！我今晚有个约会，必须成功，我都快憋坏了！

Joey

Okay. Okay. Umm…Ooh! Oh-oh, I got something. It's this story I came up with, very romantic. I swear any woman that hears it; they're like putty.

好，好。嗯……有了！我想到一个超浪漫的故事，我保证任何女人听了都会心软。

Ross

Really? Well then tell it to me.

真的？快告诉我。

Joey

Okay. Now you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.

好。不过你听完可能会想跟我上床，记住这只是个故事而已。

Ross

(sarcastic) I'll try to control myself.

（讽刺地）我会尽力克制的。

Joey

Okay. (Clears throat) Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe…

好。（清了清嗓子）几年前，我背着背包游西欧的时候……

Ross

(laughs) You were backpacking across Western Europe?

（笑了）你还背包游西欧？

Joey

Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)

那你再憋六个月吧！（准备离开。）

Ross

(stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. I'm sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?

（拦住他）好！好！对不起，继续说，你在西欧然后呢？

Joey

I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing and there was a lake, very secluded. And there were tall trees all around. (Whispering) It was dead silent. Gorgeous. (Softly) And across the lake I saw…a beautiful woman…bathing herself…but she was crying…

我当时在巴塞罗那郊外，沿着蒂比达博山的山脚徒步。走到小路尽头，有一片空地，还有一个湖，特别隐蔽，四周都是高大的树木。（小声说）万籁俱寂，美极了。（轻声说）湖对面，我看到一个美女在洗澡，但她却在哭……

Ross

(intently listening) Why?

（认真地听着）为什么哭？

Kristen

Umm, this is great wine.

嗯，这酒真好喝。

Ross

It's from France…In Europe…Western Europe. Y'know umm, a few years ago I actually was backpacking across Western Europe.

法国产的……欧洲……西欧。几年前我还背包游过西欧呢。

Kristen

Really?

真的吗？

Ross

Uh-hmm-Wait! It gets better. Um, yeah I was in Barcelona.

嗯！还有更精彩的，我当时在巴塞罗那。

Kristen

I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)

我在巴塞罗那读过一年书。（罗斯愣住了，有点慌。）

Ross

Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking…

反正……我当时在徒步……

Kristen

I love hiking!

我超爱徒步！

Ross

(whines) Oh that's great! I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo…

（委屈地）太好了！我沿着蒂比达博山的山脚徒步……

Kristen

I think its Tibidabo.

应该是蒂比达博。

Ross

Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!

行！那你来讲好了！

Joey

Whoa! What are you doing here? How did your date go?

哇！你怎么回来了？约会怎么样？

Ross

Great! I'm across the street having sex with her right now. Your story sucks!

好极了！我现在就在街对面和她做爱呢。你的故事烂透了！

Joey

Hey! Look, if it didn't work it's because you didn't tell it right! Show me how you did it.

喂！没用是因为你讲得不对！演示给我看看你怎么讲的。

Ross

No! No, I don't…don't want to.

不要！我不想。

Joey

How long since you've seen a girl naked?

你多久没见过裸女了？

Ross

I was backpacking across Western Europe.

我背包游西欧的时候见过。

Joey

I'm not feeling it.

一点感觉都没有。

Ross

I was just outside Barcelona, hiking…

我在巴塞罗那郊外徒步……

Joey

No! No! No Ross! I'm not hot! Are you hot?

不对！罗斯，我没被打动！你自己激动吗？

Ross

It's been six months! I'm always hot!

都六个月了！我一直很激动！

Joey

Well you're not selling the story! It's like; it's like you don't believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when I'm preparing for an audition. Okay? I'll set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what you're doing wrong.

那你故事讲得没感染力，好像你自己都不信！我得走了，有个约会。你试试这个，我试镜前都会这么做。我把摄像机给你，你录下来自己看看哪里不对。

Ross

I'll try that.

我试试。

Joey

All right now… All right, you're all set up. You're good to go. Just hit record. All right?

好了，都弄好了，直接按录制键就行。

Ross

Thanks.

谢了。

Joey

Good luck.

祝你好运。

Ross

Thanks. And-and hey Joe?

谢了。乔伊？

Joey

Yeah?

嗯？

Ross

Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know I'll help you out.

要是你在女生那边遇到麻烦，我会帮你的。

Joey

(trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)

（强忍着笑）这话太暖心了，兄弟。（离开。）

(Ross pours himself a glass of wine, hits record, and sits down in front of the camera.)

（罗斯倒了杯红酒，按下录制键，坐在摄像机前。）

Ross

Hello! Can I get you anything? Huh? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay? (Rachel bursts in carrying two boxes and Ross jumps up.) Rachel!

嗨！需要点什么吗？镜头纸？电量够吗？（瑞秋抱着两个箱子冲进来，罗斯猛地站起来。）瑞秋！

Rachel

Oh Ross!

哦，罗斯！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

Thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?

谢天谢地你在这儿！快帮帮我！你刚才在自言自语吗？

Ross

That's less embarrassing, yes. Yes I was.

这么说没那么尴尬，对，我是在自言自语。

(They sit down on the couch, which is in front of the still recording camera.)

（两人坐在沙发上，摄像机还在录制。）

Ross

(voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.

（画外音）她一进来我就分心了，完全忘了摄像机还开着。[回到现在] 它就一直录，把所有事都拍下来了。

(Pause)

（停顿）

Chandler

Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. (They rest of them agree.)

那我们得看看这盘带子。（其他人纷纷附和。）

Monica

Yeah, definitely.

对，必须看。

Ross

What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!

好主意！这样瑞秋就能原谅我了！

Joey

Y'know what? This is not fair to her. Let's just forget the tape!

这不太好吧，别再提录像带了。

Ross

Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "You'll show me right?") No!

谢了。（乔伊对罗斯用口型说“你会偷偷给我看的吧？”）才不！

Joey

You're right. (Mouths, "I know you'll show me, right?)

我知道你会给我看的，对吧？）

Ross

Joey! No!

乔伊！别想！

Joey

Loud and clear! (Mouths, "You'll show me," and nods.)

你会给我看的。）

(Ross storms out.)

（罗斯气冲冲地离开。）

Monica

I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.

我还是想不通格雷格和珍妮为什么给我们假号码。

Joey

Y'know, if they knew what they were doing they probably didn't give you real names either.

要是他们有心骗你们，说不定名字也是假的。

Monica

Okay, maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names.

好吧，有人会给假号码，但不会给假名字吧。

Joey

Oh yeah? (To Phoebe) Hi, Ken Adams, nice to meet you.

是吗？（对菲比说）嗨，肯·亚当斯，很高兴认识你。

Phoebe

Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)

我是里贾纳·菲兰奇。（两人握手。）

Chandler

I still don't get it, we didn't do anything wrong.

我还是不明白，我们又没做错什么。

Monica

I know! Although, you did tell an awful lot of jokes.

就是啊！不过你确实讲了好多冷笑话。

Chandler

I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke! Joke! Joke!

你不是说那些笑话很好笑吗？笑话！笑话！笑话！

Monica

(rolling her head from side to side) Joke. Joke. Blah! Blah! (Joey and Phoebe laugh.)

（摇头晃脑）笑话。笑话。无聊！无聊！（乔伊和菲比笑了起来。）

Chandler

Well maybe it was all of your questions.

说不定是你问太多问题了。

Monica

What about my questions?

我的问题怎么了？

Chandler

The sheer volume, it was like flying with the Riddler!

问题太多了，跟和谜语人一起坐飞机似的！

Monica

Oh, I'm sorry. Was that another joke?

哦，抱歉。又在讲笑话？

Chandler

(angrily) Was that another question?

（生气地）你又在问问题？

Rachel

(entering) Hey! Is Ross still here?

（走进来）嘿！罗斯还在吗？

Joey

Uh no Rach, he's gone. But listen, he told us what happened and it does, it sounds like an honest mistake.

不在，瑞秋，他走了。不过他跟我们说了事情经过，听起来确实是无心之失。

Rachel

Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.

是吗？那我要是和你做爱还录下来，你乐意吗？（乔伊露出猥琐的笑容）算了！（罗斯走进来）他来了，我孩子的爹，西村色情之王。

Ross

Look, it was accident! Okay? I-I feel bad that it happened, but I swear, I didn't even watch it! Anyway, here. (He takes the tape out of his coat pocket.) I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself. (Tosses her the tape.)

听着，这是意外！我很抱歉，但我发誓我都没看过！给你。（从口袋里掏出录像带）我觉得你亲手毁掉会更安心。（把带子扔给瑞秋。）

Rachel

Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You don't want to see this do you?

谢了。（她把带子放在地上，正要踩上去，众人突然站起来一起大喊。）怎么了？（众人又喊了一遍。）你们不会想看这个吧？

Monica

Hell yeah!!!

当然想看！

Rachel

I am not gonna show you this!

我才不给你们看！

Phoebe

No! Not the sex part, just the stuff leading up to it.

不看做爱那段，就看前面的部分。

Ross

Forget it, she's destroying it.

算了，她要毁掉了。

Phoebe

Okay fine! Fine! We'll just have to think of some other way to put the whole 'Who came onto who,' thing to rest! Come on now, think!!

好吧！那我们得想别的办法弄清到底是谁先主动的！快想想！

Ross

Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? It's Rachel's tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.

别想了，菲比。录像带是瑞秋的，她想怎样就怎样，她要毁掉，这事就到此为止。

Rachel

I wanna see it.

我想看。

Ross

What?!

什么？！

Rachel

Clearly you don't want people to see this tape. Now I don't want people to see this tape either, but you so badly don't people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?

你明显不想让别人看。我本来也不想，但你越不想，我就越想看。懂吗？

Joey

(confused) Are we watchin' the tape or not?!

（困惑地）到底看不看啊？！

Ross

I don't want people to see it for your sake.

我不想让别人看是为了你好。

Rachel

Ahh, I don't believe you. I think you don't want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)

我才不信。你是不想让别人看到你求我的样子。（把录像带放进录像机。）

Ross

Rachel, please…

瑞秋，别这样……

Rachel

Ah, a little preview!

先看一小段！

Ross

Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes I'm gonna be saying…(He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)

行。但我先声明，我本来想大事化小，再过五分钟，我就要说……（讽刺地笑着指向瑞秋。）

(They both sit down.)

（两人坐下。）

Rachel

Okay, here we go. (Pushes play.)

好了，开始了。（按下播放键。）

Ross

(on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?

（录像里）嗨！需要点什么吗？

Joey

(To Phoebe) I'm so happy!

（对菲比说）太开心了！

Commercial Break

广告时段

Rachel

(on tape) Oh, thank God you're here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?

（录像里）谢天谢地你在这儿！快帮帮我！你刚才在自言自语吗？

Rachel

There I am.

这是我。

Phoebe

You're gonna get pregnant.

你当时都快怀孕了。

Rachel

(on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I…

（录像里）我搞砸了，几周前就答应莫妮卡帮忙装婚礼请柬寄出去，结果我……

Ross

(on tape) You didn't do it?

（录像里）你没做？

Rachel

(on tape) I-I know-I had put them in…in-in my desk at work and I completely forgot about them until today.

（录像里）我知道，我把请柬放在公司抽屉里，完全忘了，直到今天才想起来。

(Chandler is shocked and Rachel gets scared of Monica very quickly.)

（钱德勒一脸震惊，瑞秋立刻害怕地看向莫妮卡。）

Monica

(taking Rachel's hand) Sweetie okay. It's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine.

（握住瑞秋的手）没事的，没事。大家都来参加婚礼了，我没事。

Rachel

Kinda hurtin' my hand though.

我的手有点疼。

Monica

I know.

我知道。

Rachel

(on tape) (Ross hands her a glass of wine) I cannot believe that I did this. Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it! (Mimicking Monica) "Okay Rachel! Here are the invitations Rachel! Now be very careful Rachel! Please, drinking no liquids around the invitations Rachel!" (She tilts her wine glass above and moves it back and forth across the invitations) Whoa oh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh…oh-oh-oh…

（录像里）（罗斯递给她一杯红酒）我不敢相信我居然忘了，莫妮卡之前一直叮嘱我！（模仿莫妮卡）“瑞秋，请柬在这儿！小心点！别在请柬旁边喝东西！”（她把酒杯倾斜，在请柬上方来回晃）哎呀！完了完了……

(Rachel hits fast forward. Monica is completely shocked.)

（瑞秋快进，莫妮卡彻底惊呆了。）

Chandler

Did you do it on our invitations?!

你把酒洒在我们的请柬上了？！

Ross

(pause) Not on the ones we sent out.

（停顿）寄出去的没有。

Chandler

So, just the ones gave back to us and we had framed! (Slams the framed invitation down onto the table.)

所以就洒在我们留着装裱的那些上了？！（把装裱好的请柬狠狠摔在桌上。）

(Rachel stops fast forwarding.)

（瑞秋停止快进。）

Rachel

(on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.

（录像里）没想到他们都结婚了，感觉昨天才订婚。

Ross

(on tape) I know. Hey remember…remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost…

（录像里）是啊。记得他们订婚那晚吗？我们差点……

Rachel

(on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we would've gone through with it? Y'know, if we hadn't gotten caught. Do you think we would've done it?

（录像里）我记得。要是没被发现，我们会不会真的做了？

Ross

(on tape) I mean I…I know I wanted to. I just, I just wasn't sure if you wanted to.

（录像里）我想，但不确定你想不想。

Rachel

(on tape) Oh I wanted to.

（录像里）我想。

(Ross and Rachel trade looks while watching the tape.)

（罗斯和瑞秋对视了一眼。）

Ross

(on tape) So we…we both wanted to.

（录像里）原来我们都想。

Rachel

(on tape) Interesting.

（录像里）有意思。

Ross

(on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.

（录像里）是啊。（停顿）不过现在这样也挺好。

Rachel

(on tape) Oh yeah, sure.

（录像里）是啊，没错。

Rachel

Okay, in about ten seconds you're gonna see him kiss me.

十秒后你们就看到他吻我了。

Ross

And in about five seconds you're gonna see why.

五秒后你们就知道为什么了。

Rachel

(on tape) Ross did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?

（录像里）罗斯，我跟你说过我背包游西欧的事吗？

(Joey's shocked and everyone else looks at Rachel.)

（乔伊一脸震惊，众人看向瑞秋。）

Rachel

Okay, get ready to see some beggin'!

准备看他求我了！

Phoebe

Oh, you came on to Ross!

原来是你先对罗斯示好！

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Ross

Now I'm so happy.

太开心了。

Rachel

What are you talking about?!

你在说什么？！

Monica

You used the Europe story!

你用了那个西欧故事！

Chandler

That's the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!

那是想上床时才用的万能故事！

Rachel

How do you know about that story?!

你们怎么知道这个故事？！

Joey

How do you know about that story?!

你怎么知道这个故事？！

Rachel

I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy!

我朋友艾琳跟我说的，她从一个男的那儿听来的！

Joey

(raises his hand) Some guy!! (Points to himself.)

（举手）就是我！（指着自己。）

Rachel

No. No, she told me his name was Ken Adams.

不对，她说那人叫肯·亚当斯。

Joey

(raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!

（又举手指着自己）就是肯·亚当斯！！

Ross

Hi.

嗨。

Rachel

So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?

看来大家都知道那个西欧故事啊？

Ross

Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesn't matter. I mean, I think it would've happened either way. I mean if you hadn't initiated it I-I-I know I would've.

嗯。其实谁先主动不重要，反正都会发生。就算你没主动，我也会的。

Rachel

It was an amazing night.

那晚很美好。

Ross

It was. It was an amazing night.

是啊，很美好。

(Pause)

（停顿）

Rachel

You think it looked amazing?

你觉得录像里看起来也很美好吗？

Ross

I uh… I don't know. I mean I…I honestly didn't watch it.

我不知道，我真没看过。

Rachel

Yeah, me neither. Yet…

我也没看过，不过……

Ross

Uhhhhhh…that-that may be weird.

嗯……有点奇怪。

Rachel

Yeah, it would be really weird.

是挺奇怪的。

(Ross grabs the tape and heads for the VCR as Rachel goes over and puts the chain on the door and locks it.)

（罗斯拿起录像带走向录像机，瑞秋走过去锁上门。）

Ross

Good luck.

祝你好运。

Rachel

Good luck to you.

你也是。

(Ross pushes play.)

（罗斯按下播放键。）

Ross

Mind if I mute?

静音可以吗？

Rachel

Oh please. (He does so.)

好。（罗斯静音。）

Ross

Oh, oh there go the clothes.

开始脱衣服了。

Rachel

You are undressing very quickly.

你脱得好快。

Ross

Six months Rachel, six months.

都六个月了，瑞秋。

Ross and Rachel

Ah. (Pause) Oh.

啊。（停顿）哦。

Ross

Hey. We-we look…we look pretty good.

我们看起来……还挺不错的。

Rachel

That's what I was gonna say.

我正想说这个。

Ross

Oh nice tan!

肤色晒得真好。

Rachel

Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.

谢谢！那周末刚去了海滩。

Ross

Ah….

嗯。

Rachel

Have you been working out?

你最近健身了？

Ross

I have been working out.

嗯，健身了。

Rachel

Really? Wow, this is so much better than I…

真的？比我想象中好多了……

Ross and Rachel

Ohh! Ew!

呃！好丑！

Ross

Oh that's not pretty.

太丑了。

Rachel

Oh! Oh!

天呐！

Ross

Oh no!

糟了！

Rachel

Oh God!

天呐！

Ross

Oh no!!

天啊！

Rachel

Oh, make it stop!

快关掉！

Ross

Oh no!!!

别播了！

Rachel

Make it stop!!

关掉！

Ross

No!!!

不要！

(They both get out of the chair and run for the VCR.)

（两人从椅子上跳起来，冲向录像机。）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Monica

(on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5… (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jenny's been giving it out since they moved!

（打电话）喂，格雷格？我是飞机上的莫妮卡。你给我的号码853-5……（听了一会儿）（对钱德勒说）是旧号码！珍妮搬家后还一直用这个糊弄人！

Chandler

Jenny! That is so Jenny!

珍妮！真有她的风格！

Monica

(on phone) Hey listen umm, how would you like to get together? Say next Saturday? (Listens) Okay, how about Sunday? (Listens) Okay umm, the week after that? (Listens) The week after that? (Listens) Y'know what Greg? Y'know what? We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions and if you and your precious Jenny can't see that then… (Listens) January 15th? (Chandler dances.) We'll see you then! (Listens) Okay!

（打电话）那我们约个时间见面吧？下周六怎么样？周日呢？下下周？再下下周？知道吗，格雷格？我们人很好、有趣、幽默，还会问有意思的问题，要是你和你宝贝珍妮看不到这些……（听了一会儿）1月15号？（钱德勒开心地跳舞）好，到时候见！好的！

(She hangs up the phone and they hug.)

（挂了电话，两人拥抱。）

End

剧终