/724 The One With Chandler and Monica's Wedding

Monica

Do you realize this is probably the last time we'll all be here in the coffee house as six single people?

你们有没有意识到，这是最后一次，我们六个单身的人在这个咖啡厅？

Phoebe

Why?! What's happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)

这个咖啡厅要发生什么事了吗？噢，我知道了。

Chandler

Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.

从现在开始，只有你们四个，和我以及这位女士。这位小妇人。这位妻子。这个陈旧的婚姻枷锁。

Monica

Old?

陈旧的？

Chandler

The young hot ball and chain.

这个年轻性感的婚姻枷锁。

Monica

That's much better.

好多了。

Rachel

(checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)

（看表）哦，我们该走了！（女孩们站起来）

Ross

Oh, where are you guys going?

哦，你们去哪里？

Monica

We're gonna pick up the wedding dress then we're gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)

我们要去拿礼服，还要和妈妈一起吃午饭。（乔伊站起来）

Ross

Ah. Joey you're-you're having lunch with my mom?

啊，Joey，你也要和我妈妈吃午饭？

Joey

No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)

不，我只是听到午饭。不过当然啦，我也可以去。（大家离开）

Ross

(To Chandler) Y'know what? Actually I'm kinda glad they're leaving 'cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.

（对钱德勒）你知道吗？事实上，我很高兴他们离开。我要和你谈些事情。

Chandler

What's up?

怎么啦？

Ross

Well this uh, this may be a little awkward.

嗯，也许会有点尴尬。

Chandler

Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. I'm buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.

听着，如果你需要钱，现在不是时候。明天我要请128个人吃饭。

Ross

No, its...Its not that. Umm, now what I'm going to say to you, I'm not saying as your friend. Okay? I'm-I'm saying as it as Monica's older brother.

不，不是这个问题。嗯，我不是以你朋友的身份说下面的话，而是以Monica的哥哥的身份。

Chandler

But you're still my friend?

但你还是我的朋友？

Ross

Not for the next few minutes.

暂时不是。

Chandler

During this time...are you, are you still my best man?

那么现在，你还是不是我的伴郎？

Ross

Nope.

不是。

Chandler

Do I still call you Ross?

我还是叫你Ross吗？

Ross

Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldn't be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monica's older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? I'm-I'm-I'm serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) Come---Hey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? I'm-I'm not kidding here!

如果你伤害了我的妹妹，如果你使她不开心，我会把你摁倒在地上，踹你的屁股！（钱德勒笑）怎么啦？我是认真的！（钱德勒笑得更厉害）别这样，伙计！我不是开玩笑！

Chandler

(smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.

（笑着）嘿，我明白你说的事啦，并且，感谢你的警告。

Ross

No problem.

没问题。

Chandler

So are we...friends again?

那我们现在又是朋友了吗？

Ross

Yeah.

是的。

Chandler

Okay. (Pause) You won't believe what Monica's older brother just said to me!

好吧。（停顿）你不会相信Monica的哥哥刚刚和我说了什么！

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

What 'cha doing Mon?

你在干什么，Mon？

Monica

I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.

我在列一些在婚礼上会出问题的事情，这样我可以有所准备。

Phoebe

What are they?

是些什么事情？

Monica

Well, so far I have uh, my bride's maids dresses won't get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I don't have my something blue.

目前为止，比如没拿礼服，婚纱的蒙面纱找不到，还有就是我极端想念的某些东西。

Rachel

Hey! Those are all the things I'm responsible for!

嘿！这些都是我负责的呀！

Monica

I had to go with the odds Rach.

我必须以防万一。

Joey

(entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didn't get the part?

（走进来）嘿，你们好！记得那个我落选的试演吗？

Rachel

The commercial?

那个广告？

Joey

No!

不是。

Phoebe

That play?

那部戏剧？

Joey

No!

不是。

Monica

That other play?

另外那部戏剧？

Joey

Nooo!

不是。

Phoebe

The movie?

那部电影？

Joey

Yes!!

对！

Phoebe

Ohh!

哦！

Joey

Yes that's the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!

是那部关于一次大战的士兵的电影！

Phoebe

Oh, yeah! Back then y'know, we called the Great War. It really was!

哦，对呀！不过我们称之为“伟大的战争”，它确实是！

Joey

Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!

总之，他们想要的人退出了，现在他们希望我去演！我今天就开始拍摄！

Phoebe

Congratulations!

恭喜你！

Rachel

Oh that's great!

太好了！

Monica

Wait! Wait! Wait! You can't start today! Today's the rehearsal dinner!

等等！你不能今天开始！今天是婚礼前的彩排晚宴！

Joey

Oh no, I'll be done by then.

哦不，我会在开始之前搞定的。

Monica

Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!

哦，那你快去吧，电影明星！

Joey

I know! All right, I'll see you guys over there! I'm off to fight the Nazis.

我知道！好了，待会见！我要去和纳粹作战了。

Rachel

Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.

哦等等，Joey！我们是在二次大战和纳粹作战，不是一次大战。

Joey

Whoa! Okay. Yeah well, who-who was in World War I? (Rachel pauses as she thinks.)

哇哦！好吧。那我们和谁打一次大战？（瑞秋想了想）

Phoebe

Go ahead.

继续呀。

Rachel

You're gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)

你就要迟到了！快去，快去！（他跑出去）

Monica

Who did we fight in World War I?

我们和谁打一次大战呀？

Rachel

Mexico?

墨西哥？

Phoebe

Yes! Very good.

没错，很对。

The Assistant Director

(approaching) Hey Joey! We're ready.

（走近）嘿Joey！我们准备好了。

Joey

Yeah! Me too. (He pats his pocket.)

是呀，我也是。（拍了拍口袋）

The Assistant Director

(to another actor) Richard? We're ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby he's playing Vincent.

（对另一个演员）Richard？我们准备好了。（Richard走过来）Joey Tribbiani？这位是Richard Crosby，他扮演Vincent。

Joey

I'm doing my scenes with you?

我和你一起演出？

Richard

Nice to meet you Joey.

Richard：很高兴认识你，Joey。

Joey

Wow! I can't believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!

哇！真不敢相信！太不可思议了。你刚刚赢得了奥斯卡奖！

Richard

No I didn't.

Richard：不，我没有。

Joey

I think you did.

我认为你有。

Richard

I think I lost. Three times.

Richard：我想我落选了，三次。

Joey

Uh...Cookie?

呃……饼干要吗？

The Director

(approaching) Okay! We're about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys don't mind, can we run it a couple of times?

（走近）好了！现在离布光完成还有一个小时。嗯，如果你们不介意的话，能不能排练一下？

Richard

Yeah, sure.

Richard：好的，没问题。

The Director

Okay, all right. Let's do it. (He walks off.) And...Action!

好的，开始吧。（他走开）开始！

Joey

We have to find the rest of the platoon!

我们必须找到那个排！

Richard

Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)

Richard：忘了那个排吧！那个排已经完了！（他在发爆破音P和T时喷口水）

Joey

(wiping his face) What?!

（擦脸）什么？！

Richard

(still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!

Richard：（还在喷）那个排的人都死了！面对现实吧，Tony！

Joey

(wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!

（擦脸）那我们该做什么？我们没有援军，也没有食物！

Richard

No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!

Richard：不，我们还有食物在地下室里！有土豆和一些通心粉！

(Joey wipes his eye.)

（乔伊擦眼睛）

The Director

Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?

暂停一下！Joey，你老是摸你的脸。有问题吗？

Joey

(glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh...I th---I thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Y'know? He's uh, he's a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)

（瞥了Richard一眼）没有。只是……我认为那会是角色的一个很酷的特色。他是个爱摸脸的人。（在他背后，Richard摇手表示不）

The Director

I don't think so. Let's take it back to Richard's last line. (Walks off.) Action!

我不这么认为。从Richard的最后一句台词开始。（走开）开始！

Richard

We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)

Richard：我们也许没有武器，但我们还有食物。在地下室我看到土豆、通心粉，还有几罐吞拿鱼！（乔伊后退，又擦了擦脸）

Monica

Honey, we gotta go!

亲爱的，我们该走了！

Chandler

(entering from the bedroom) Okay. Here's a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.

（从卧室走出来）好了。有个问题你永远不必问。我爸爸刚刚打电话来，想知道他能不能借你一串珍珠项链。

Monica

(laughs) I don't have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.

（笑）我没有那样的东西，不过我去看看Rachel有没有。

Chandler

Yes, include more people in this.

好呀，让更多人知道这件事。

Monica

Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow we'll be getting married?

嘿，你有没有意识到明天这个时候我们就结婚了？

Chandler

Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.

等一下！我明晚好像有个约会。

Monica

I just, I can't believe that we made it!

我简直不敢相信我们做到了！

Chandler

Well you don't have to sound so surprised.

你不用听起来那么惊讶。

Monica

I'm sorry but...nothing.

对不起，不过……没事了。

Chandler

What?

怎么啦？

Monica

Well...honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.

好吧，老实说？自从我们订婚之后，我一直等着看你不安的样子。

Chandler

Honestly? Me too.

老实说？我也是。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Yeah. Y'know I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and I'll go all...Chandler. But nothing has.

对。我一直认为如果某些困难突然发生的话，我会变得很不自然。但是没有任何事情发生。

Monica

Ohh, I'm so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean it's really, it's made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!

哦，我真高兴。谢谢你一直保持镇静。这让我保持镇静。（钱德勒只是看着她）我可能会变得更糟的！

Chandler

Okay. I'll be right there.

好啦。我就来。

(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)

（她离开，钱德勒拿起外套，电话响了，答录机接听）

Monica

(voice on answering machine) Hi! If you're calling before Saturday, you've reached Monica and Chandler. But if you're calling after Saturday, you've reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!

（答录机留言）你好！如果在周六之前打电话，你找到的是Monica和Chandler。但如果周六之后打电话，你找到的是Bing先生和Bing太太。请给Bing氏夫妇留言！

(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)

（钱德勒惊慌失措，松了松领带）

Monica

Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.

嘿，Maureen！（她们拥抱）天呀！嘿，Chandler？这是我的表妹Maureen。

Chandler

We're the Bings.

我们是Bing氏夫妇。

(Phoebe and Rachel walk up.)

（菲比和瑞秋走过来）

Rachel

Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!

嗨！你们看起来真棒！

Chandler

Mr. and Mrs. Bing! (Walks away.)

Bing先生和Bing太太！（走开）

Ross

(walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.

（走过来）哇，Monica！嘿，告诉你，我以哥哥的身份和Chandler谈了谈。

Monica

What is that?

那是什么？

Ross

Well I...I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)

我告诉他，如果他伤害你，我会把他摁倒踹他屁股！（女孩们都笑）什么？大家怎么啦？我很认真的！我会踹他屁股的！（她们笑得更厉害）

Phoebe

Ross, please! My make-up! (He walks away angrily.)

Ross，不要再来啦！我的化妆！（他生气地走开）

(Chandler's Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)

（钱德勒的妈妈走进来，钱德勒在门口迎接她）

Chandler

Hi.

嗨。

Mrs. Bing

Chandler!

Bing太太：Chandler！

Chandler

Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (She's wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)

妈妈。感谢你戴了……些东西。（她们拥抱）（她穿着紧身连衣裙，露出很多乳沟）

Mrs. Bing

Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon there'll be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)

Bing太太：哦亲爱的！真令人激动！我以为我们已经害得你不敢结婚了呢。哦想想看，很快就会有一大堆姓Bing的小孩。（他又惊慌失措，松了松领带）

(Monica and her parents walk up.)

（莫妮卡和她的父母走过来）

Monica

Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.

Bing太太？这是我的父母，Judy和Jack Geller。

Mrs. Geller

(shaking her hand) It's lovely to meet you.

Geller太太：（握手）很高兴认识你。

Mr. Geller

(shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?

Geller先生：（握手）那么你是他的父亲还是母亲？

Mrs. Geller

Jack!

Geller太太：Jack！

Mr. Geller

What?! I've never seen one before!

Geller先生：怎么啦？他们两个我从来没碰到过！

Monica

Dad! There's Ross (points), why don't you go talk to him?

爸爸！Ross在那边，去和他说话吧。

(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)

（Geller先生和太太走开）

Mr. Geller

I didn't even have a chance to act as though I'm okay with it!

Geller先生：我还没表现我对这种事没关系呢！

Mr. Bing

(entering) Hello all!

Bing先生：（走进来）好呀，各位！

Chandler

Hi...dad.

嗨……爸爸。

Monica

Hi Mr....Bing.

嗨，Bing先生。

Mr. Bing

Nora!

Bing先生：Nora！

Mrs. Bing

Charles.

Bing太太：Charles。

Monica

It-it's so great to see you both here.

真高兴看到你们都在这里。

Mr. Bing

Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?

Bing先生：是呀。尽管，我们可能看某人看得太多了。以你的年龄，是不是不适合穿成这样？

Mrs. Bing

Don't you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?

Bing太太：那你是不是多了些东西而不适合穿成这样？

Chandler

Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)

哦，上帝！（他和莫妮卡走开）

Mr. Geller

...of course you can kick his ass son.

Geller先生：……你当然可以踹他的屁股，儿子。

Mrs. Geller

You could kick anyone's ass you want too.

Geller太太：只要你想，你可以踹任何人的屁股。

Ross

Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)

谢谢你们。（高兴地走开，他的父母微笑）

Monica

Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandler's dad and try to keep him away from Chandler's mom?

哦，Rach，Rach！嗯嘿，你能帮我个忙，去和Chandler的爸爸聊聊，不要让他和Chandler的妈妈在一起？

Rachel

Yeah! But I don't know what he looks like!

好！不过他看起来像什么样？

Monica

He is the man in the black dress.

一个穿着黑色晚礼服的男人。

Rachel

Man in the black dress... (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! I'm Rachel! I'm a friend of Monica and Chandler's!

穿黑色晚礼服的男人……（莫妮卡走开，瑞秋四处张望，找到一个穿黑色连衣裙的女人）（对她说）嗨！我是Rachel，是Monica和Chandler的朋友！

Woman

I'm Amanda.

我是Amanda。

Rachel

Oh I get it! A...man...duh!

哦，我明白了。一个男人（Amanda听起来像a man）！

Ross

(clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyone's attention please? I'm uh; I'm Ross Geller.

（敲酒杯）大家注意一下好吗？我是Ross Geller。

Mr. Geller

Doctor Ross Geller.

Geller先生：Ross Geller博士。

Ross

Dad...dad, please! As I was saying umm, I'm Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and I'm the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, she's the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple we're here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.

爸爸，不要这样。正如我说的，我是Ross Geller博士，而且我是伴郎。这个婚姻对我有双重特殊意义，不仅仅因为新郎是我最好的朋友，还因为新娘是我的妹妹。她是最好的妹妹。各位请举杯，向这对夫妇致敬。（大家举杯）致Bing氏夫妇。

All

To the Bings!

致Bing氏夫妇！

(Everyone clinks glasses and Chandler freaks out again.)

（大家碰杯，钱德勒又慌了）

Monica

All right, I'm gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?

好了，我要去熨我的婚纱。谁来负责保证它不出问题？

Rachel

I'll do it.

我来。

Monica

Who wants it? Anybody?

谁想来？有人吗？

Rachel

I said I'll do it!

我说了我会来的！

Monica

Nobody wants to do it? All right, I'll do it myself.

没人吗？好吧，我自己弄。

Rachel

Monica! I'm not gonna screw it up!

Monica！我不会弄糟的！

Monica

Y'know what? You're right, I'm sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.

你知道吗？你很对，我错了。你今晚真是帮了大忙了。感谢你送我奶奶安全到达酒店。

Rachel

Well of course that is what I'm here for!

当然了！这就是我在这里的目的。

Monica

Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)

好吧，对不起。（莫妮卡走进浴室）

Rachel

Ugh! (To Phoebe) What grandmother?

呃！（对菲比）什么奶奶？

Joey

Hey! Where have you been?

嘿！你去哪里了？

Ross

Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.

哦，送我父母回酒店。

Joey

Oh.

哦。

Ross

What? Are you going back to work?

你要回去工作？

Joey

Yeah.

对。

Ross

Nice shades.

好墨镜。

Joey

Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I won't get spit in the eyes, y'know?

谢谢。我想如果我在拍摄的时候戴着，就不会有口水跑到我眼睛里了。

Ross

And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!

而且如果我没记错的话，雷朋眼镜是一次大战的赞助商。

Joey

Great! All right. I'll see you later. (He starts to leave.)

太棒了！好了。待会见。（他开始离开）

Ross

Hey, where's Chandler?

嘿，Chandler在哪里？

Joey

Uh, I think he's in Rachel's room. See ya. (Exits.)

呃，我想他在Rachel的房间里。再见。（离开）

Ross

(going up to Rachel's closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesn't see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesn't find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)

（走到瑞秋关着的门前）Chandler？（他打开门，往里看，没看到他）Chandler？（他检查了浴室，还是没找到他。然后他在柜台上发现一张纸条。他拿起来读）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Is uh, is Monica here?

嗯，Monica在吗？

Rachel

She's steaming her dress, why? What's up?

她在熨婚纱，怎么了？什么事？

Ross

I think Chandler's gone. (He hands her the note.)

我想Chandler跑了。（他把纸条递给她）

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Ross

He left that.

他留下这个。

Rachel

(reading the note) Tell Monica I'm sorry.

（读纸条）告诉Monica，我很对不起她。

Phoebe

(walking up) What's up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica I'm sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!

（走过来）怎么了？（瑞秋把纸条递给她，她读）告诉Monica，我很对不起她。（停顿）要说你自己去说呀！

Commercial Break

广告插播

Phoebe

Oh my God! Chandler just left though!

天呀！Chandler就这样跑了吗？

Rachel

Yeah but, maybe it's not what we think. Maybe it's tell Monica I'm sorry I...drank the last of the milk.

也许事情不是我们想的这样。“告诉Monica，我很对不起她，我把最后的牛奶都喝完了。”

Phoebe

Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that he's changed his name, y'know? Tell Monica I'm sorry.

“告诉Monica，我很对不起她。”

Ross

I think it means he freaked out and left!

我认为这个留言的意思是他很惊慌失措，跑啦！

Phoebe

Don't be so negative! Good God! Isn't it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachel's apartment) right now?!

不要那么悲观！天呀！会不会他现在就坐在那里面？

Rachel

Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?

好吧，Phoebe，我觉得Ross是对的。我们该怎么办？

Ross

Look---Okay, I'm just gonna---I'm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?

听着——好吧，我这就——我要去找他，把他带回来。你们不要让Monica发现，好吗？

Rachel

Okay.

好的。

Phoebe

(pointing at Ross) Okay but if you don't find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!

（指着罗斯）好吧，不过如果你没找到他、把他带回来，我就把你摁倒、踹你的屁股！

(Ross laughs and Phoebe points harder.)

（罗斯笑，菲比指得更用力）

Ross

(scared) I will, I will find him.

（害怕）我会的，我会找到他的。

Richard

Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (He's holding a script.)

Richard：嘿Joey，你能和我排练一下这几段吗？（他拿着剧本）

Joey

Oh man! They-they just redid my make-up!

哦，他们才刚刚给我补好妆！

Richard

Just the last two pages.

Richard：就最后两页。

Joey

All right.

好吧。

(They go onto the set.)

（他们走到片场）

Richard

I found the picture!

Richard：我找到照片了！

(He's still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)

（他还在喷口水，乔伊把剧本举在脸前）

Joey

Picture? What picture?

照片？什么照片？

Richard

Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.

Richard：你能把剧本放低点吗？我需要看到你的表情好做出反应。

Joey

Okay uh, look I know you're a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff...

好吧，我知道你很杰出，演过很多莎士比亚的人物……

Richard

Oh, thanks.

Richard：哦，谢谢。

Joey

But you're spittin' all over me man!

但你老是喷口水到我脸上，老兄！

Richard

Well of course I am!

Richard：当然啦！

Joey

You know you've been spitting on me?!

你知道你在吐口水？

Richard

That's what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)

Richard：那是真正的演员做的事呀！发音标准是好演员的表现！当你发音标准的时候，你吐口水！（发t音时喷出口水）

Joey

(wiping face) Wow! Didn't know that.

（擦脸）哇，我还真不知道。

Richard

Great!

Richard：太棒了！

Joey

Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! (Reading from the script) Picture? What picture? (He pauses then spits) Eh?

谢谢！好吧，我来试试。（读剧本）照片？什么照片？（他停顿，然后吐口水）嗯？

Ross

Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?

甘瑟，你看到Chandler了吗？

Gunther

No. No, I haven't seen him.

不，我没见到他。

Ross

Oh damn!

哦该死！

Gunther

He's getting married tomorrow right?

他明天就要结婚了，对吗？

Ross

Yes. Yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine. We'll uh, we'll see you tomorrow at the wedding.

是的，不用担心。一切都会好的。我们明天婚礼见。

Gunther

I wasn't invited.

我没被邀请。

Ross

Well then we'll-we'll see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (They're sitting by the window.) What-what...what you guys doing here?!

那就后天见。（慢慢走开，但注意到什么）妈妈？爸爸？（他们坐在窗边）你们在这干吗？

Mr. Geller

Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about.

Geller先生：你们老是说这个地方，现在我们知道为什么了。

Mrs. Geller

I certainly see what the girls like coming here.

Geller太太：我明白为什么女孩子喜欢来这儿了。

Ross

Why?!

为什么？

Mrs. Geller

The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)

Geller太太：那个吧台后的金发性感尤物。（她向甘瑟招手，甘瑟也招手回应）

Ross

(shocked) Gunther?!

（震惊）Gunther？

Mr. Geller

Your mother just added him to her list.

Geller先生：你妈妈她刚把他加入名单里。

Ross

What? Your-your list?

什么？你的名单？

Mrs. Geller

Yeah, the list that---of people we're allowed to sleep...

Geller太太：就是那些我们想……

Ross

Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know I'm looking for him?

我知道名单是怎么回事。妈妈，如果你看到Chandler，告诉他我在找他。

Mr. Geller

And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.

Geller先生：如果你见到Rita Moreno，告诉她我在找她。

(Ross points at him and exits.)

（罗斯指着他，然后离开）

The Director

Action!

开始！

Richard

I found the picture!

Richard：我找到照片了！

Joey

What picture?!

什么照片？

Richard

The picture of my wife! In your pack!

Richard：我妻子的照片！在你的包里！

Joey

You went through my personal property?

你动我的私人物品？

Richard

Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!

Richard：为什么你包里有Paulette的照片？

Joey

(pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!

（停顿）因为，Vincent，我们已经是恋人……两年了！

The Director

Cut! Wonderful!

停！很好！

(Joey and Richard both wipe their faces and are given towels.)

（乔伊和Richard都擦了擦脸，有人递给他们毛巾）

Joey

Great scene yeah?

拍得不错，对吗？

Richard

Oh you're awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.

Richard：哦你太棒了！最后一句话，你都把我弄湿了。

Joey

Thanks a lot.

多谢。

The Assistant Director

(To Joey) Here's your call sheet for tomorrow.

（对乔伊）这是明天的拍摄通知单。

Joey

Oh, I'm-I'm not working tomorrow.

哦，我明天没工作。

The Assistant Director

You are now.

现在有了。

Joey

No! No! I can't! You gotta get me out of it! I've got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)

不，不行！你得帮我推掉。我有计划！（喷口水）很重要的计划！（发P音时喷出口水）

(The AD walks away wiping his face.)

（助理导演擦着脸走开）

Rachel

(closing the door) Ross said there's still no word from Chandler.

（关上门）Ross说还是没有Chandler的消息。

Phoebe

Oh man.

天呀。

Rachel

Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.

不过他说他们在第五大道找到奶奶了。

Phoebe

Okay. Well there's one down.

好吧，至少搞定一件事。

Monica

(entering from her room, excitedly) I'm getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)

（从房间走出来，兴奋地）我今天结婚啦！（她绊倒了）（爬起来）我的肋骨伤到了。不过我不在乎，因为今天是我的婚礼！我的婚礼终于到啦！（跑回房间）

Phoebe

Y'know she might not even notice he's gone.

她也许根本没注意到他跑掉了。

Monica

(re-entering) I'm gonna start getting ready! (Goes back into her room.)

（又进来）我要开始准备了！（回到房间）

Rachel

God! Don't---We can't let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait she'll be in the gown and then he won't show up and then she's gonna have to take off the gown...

天啊！不能——我们不能让她开始准备！太糟啦！天啊，她穿好了婚纱，可是他没出现，然后她就得脱下婚纱……

Phoebe

Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You can't do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)

嘘！别说了！别说了Rachel！你不能在这里说这件事！（她把她拖进浴室）

Rachel

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just...It's just so sad!

对不起，对不起。只是太伤感了。

Phoebe

Yeah, but you've got to pull yourself together! Monica can't see you like this! Then she'll know something's wrong!

是的，但你不能这样！她不能看到你这样子，她会发现有问题的。

Rachel

I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) There's no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?

我知道，我知道。天呀。（环顾四周）这里没有纸巾！你能帮我撕些卫生纸下来吗？

Phoebe

Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, that's gone too. This is Monica's bathroom right?!

好的。（看了看）哦，也用完了。这里真是Monica的浴室吧？

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

Phoebe

No-no! I-I...I found one.

不，我找到一张。

Rachel

Okay.

好的。

(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)

（菲比把手伸进垃圾桶，拉出一张，递给瑞秋）

Rachel

Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?

哦谢谢！（擦鼻子）天呀！（她扔掉了）你能再给我一张吗？

Phoebe

(looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)

（看着垃圾桶）当然。（把手伸进垃圾桶）你还需要一些棉线吗？（抓起一根）

Rachel

Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesn't show up!

天呀，我不敢想象Chandler不出现的话会发生什么。

Phoebe

Oh here's a whole bunch.

这里还有一些。

Rachel

Oh, I mean she's gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Y'know? Then she'll have to come back here and live all alone.

她会穿着婚纱等着，然后人们就会低声说“那个可怜的女孩”。然后她就只能回到这里，孤独地生活。

Phoebe

(finding something interesting in the trash can) Oh my God!

（在垃圾桶里发现有趣的东西）天呀！

Rachel

What?

怎么啦？

Phoebe

There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she won't be totally alone.

在垃圾桶里有个怀孕测试仪，而且显示是有孕。Monica怀孕了。（瑞秋捂住嘴）我猜她至少不是完全孤独的。

Commercial Break

广告插播

Rachel

Oh my God!

上帝呀！

Phoebe

I know! Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?

我知道，Monica要生孩子了！嘿，这算不算她的“新东西”？

Rachel

Oh my God!

上帝呀！

Phoebe

Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?

你觉得这是他离开的原因吗？

Rachel

No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.

不，她应该是刚刚做的测试，因为我昨晚倒了垃圾。

Phoebe

Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And I'm still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)

天呀，这会是最糟的婚礼！新娘怀孕了，新郎跑了，而我还拿着这个东西。（她把测试棒扔回垃圾桶）

Rachel

Okay Phoebe, we can not tell anyone about this.

好吧Phoebe，我们不能告诉任何人这件事。

Phoebe

Right.

好的。

Rachel

Okay?

好吗？

Phoebe

Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?

好的。嘿等等，你知道她用什么避孕吗？

Rachel

No. Why?

不知道，怎么啦？

Phoebe

Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it.

将来会是个很好的广告。

Rachel

Anything?

有什么消息吗？

Ross

No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasn't heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandler's parents again!

没有！我告诉Joey了，他也没有Chandler的消息。我又和Chandler父母谈了。

Phoebe

You told them he was missing?

你告诉他们他跑了？

Ross

No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think I'm interested in them.

没有，我装成要找他聊聊。我认为他们都对我有兴趣。

Rachel

All right, we've got to tell her he's gone. (Starts to leave.)

好吧，我们得告诉她。（准备离开）

Ross

No! Hey! Hey! We can't!

不，我们不能！

Rachel

Ross, she's gonna start getting ready soon!

Ross，她就要开始准备了！

Ross

Well, can't you at least stall her a little? I'll-I'll go back to some of the places I went last night.

你能拖延一下她吗？我要去下昨晚去过的地方。

Rachel

All right, well how much time do you need?

好的，要多少时间？

Ross

Well how much time before she absolutely has to start getting ready?

她准备好要多长时间？

Rachel

One hour.

一个小时。

Ross

Give me two.

给我两个小时。

Rachel

Then why do you ask?!

那你还问？

(They all go into the hallway.)

（他们都走进走廊）

Ross

Okay, wish me luck.

祝我好运。

Phoebe

Okay. I'm going with you.

我和你一起去。

Ross

Why?!

为什么？

Phoebe

Ross, you're tired. You've been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.

Ross，你很累了，你找了一晚。而且很明显，你在这方面很烂。

Rachel

All right, I'll see you guys later.

好吧，待会见。

Phoebe

Okay. Wait, do you know how you're going to stall her?

等等，你知道怎么拖延她吗？

Rachel

I'll figure something out.

我会找到方法的。

Phoebe

All right. Good luck.

好吧，祝你好运。

Rachel

Thanks.

谢谢。

(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandler's.)

（菲比和罗斯去找钱德勒，瑞秋走进莫妮卡和钱德勒的公寓）

Monica

Hey! Okay, so I thought we'd start with my make up and then do my hair.

嘿！好吧，我想先画好妆，再弄头发。

Rachel

Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me.

好吧，但是在你开始之前，我想和你谈谈。

Monica

About what?

谈什么？

Rachel

Umm... I'm never gonna getting married!

嗯……我嫁不出去啦！

Monica

Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?

你会的，真命天子就在那里。我们谈完了吗？

Rachel

No Monica! I'm serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.

不Monica，我是认真的！也许我该忘了这些，成为女同性恋或什么的。

Monica

Any woman would be lucky to have ya.

哪个女人有了你真是幸运。

Rachel

Well maybe it would make me feel better if I slept with Joey.

也许我和Joey上床会感觉好受一些。

Monica

(jumping up) Rachel! You okay?

（跳起来）Rachel！你还好吗？

Joey

Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasn't supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. It's my best friend's, and I'm officiating so I really can't work past four.

打扰一下，Aaron？（导演转过身）嗨！嗯，我的日程有点问题。原本我今天不应该工作的。我必须参加一个婚礼，是我最好的朋友的，我来主持，所以我四点以后不能工作。

The Director

Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We can't stop filming just for you. It's not like it's your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)

Joey，你得呆在这里，直到结束。我们不能因为你一个而不拍摄。又不是你的婚礼。（开始走开）

Joey

I'm having surgery!

我要动手术！

The Director

What?!

什么？

Joey

Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didn't want you to worry about me. But, I'm having surgery today.

我捏造出婚礼，是因为不希望你担心。其实我今天要手术。

The Director

What kind of surgery?!

什么样的手术？

Joey

Transplant.

移植手术。

The Director

But you're supposed to work on Monday.

可是你礼拜一要上班呀。

Joey

Hair transplant.

头发移植。

The Director

But you're not bald.

可是你又不是秃顶。

Joey

It's not on my head.

不是在我头上移植。

The Director

Look Joey, there's nothing I can do. Besides, you're probably gonna be out by four anyway. We've just got one short scene. It's just you and Richard, and God knows he's a pro. You'll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.

听着Joey，我无能为力。而且，你也许四点以前就可以走了。我们只有一幕要拍，就你和Richard，而他又是这么专业。你会没问题的。（走开，看到Richard走进来）早上好，Richard。

Joey

Hey! You're here! Great! Great! Great! Let's get going buddy, we've got a scene to shoot!

嘿！你在这里呀！走吧，伙计！我们还有一幕要拍！

Richard

I'm wearing two belts.

Richard：我穿了两条皮带。

Joey

Are you drunk?

你喝醉了吗？

Richard

No!

Richard：没有！

Joey

Yes you are!

你喝醉了！

Richard

All right.

Richard：好吧。

Ross

We are never gonna find him! He's one guy in a huge city!

我们永远找不到他！他在一个大城市里只是一个人！

Phoebe

Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)

天呀！那是他吗？（她指着一个人）

Ross

That is an old, Chinese woman!

那是一个中国老太太！

Phoebe

He could be in disguise, y'know.

他可能化了装，你知道的。

Ross

Aw, y'know...Y'know, maybe we're-we're just approaching this all wrong. If you're Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think you'd go?

哦，也许我们找的方法都不对。如果你是Chandler，你想藏起来，人们最后一个想到你会去的地方是哪里？

Ross

So this is your office?

这就是你的办公室？

Chandler

How did you guys find me? I knew I should've hid at the gym!

你们怎么找到我的？我真应该躲在健身房！

Phoebe

What the hell are you doing?!

你到底在干吗？

Chandler

Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica. How is she?

惊慌失措中，顺便用网络尝试证明我和Monica有关联。她怎么样？

Ross

She's fine. She doesn't know you're gone. And she doesn't have to know, okay? Now come on, we're going home.

她很好。她不知道你跑了，而且她不需要知道。好了，来吧，我们回去。

Chandler

No! No! No! I can't do that!

不！我做不到！

Phoebe

Why not?!

为什么？

Chandler

Because if I go home, we're gonna become the Bings! I can't be the Bings!

因为我回去的话，我们就会成为Bing氏夫妇。我不能成为Bing氏夫妇。

Ross

What's wrong with being the Bings?

Bing氏夫妇有什么问题吗？

Chandler

The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!

Bing氏夫妇的婚姻很糟糕！他们争吵，打架，用泳池男孩作为他们性游戏的赌注。

Ross

Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?

Chandler，你有没有穿上黑色晚礼服，让我和你一起去酒店？

Chandler

No.

没有。

Ross

Then you are neither of your parents!

那你就不是你的父母中的任何一个。

Chandler

It's not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybody's! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And I've met me; I am not Paul Newman. I don't race cars! I don't make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.

不止是他们的婚姻。瞧瞧你的，瞧瞧大家的。只有Paul Newman的婚姻美满。我又不是Paul Newman。我不开赛车，也不做爆米花，我的收入没有捐给过慈善机构。

Phoebe

But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.

瞧，Chandler，现在对你，没有人有比我更低的评价了。但我还是相信你做的到。

Chandler

I want to. I love her so much, but I'm afr...It's too huge.

我希望如此。我很爱她，但是我害怕……这件事太重要了。

Ross

Y'know, okay. You're right. It is huge. So why don't we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?

好吧，没错，很重要。那么我们一次做一点试试。暂时忘了婚姻。我们只是回家洗个澡。

Chandler

Well yeah, but then...

那倒是，但是……

Ross

(interrupting him) Yeah---No-but-but-but-but! We're just gonna go home and take a shower. Now, that's not scary right?

（打断他）我们只是回家洗个澡。这没什么可怕的是吗？

Chandler

Depends on what you mean by we.

这就要看你的“我们”是什么意思了。

Rachel

The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...

夜晚是最难熬的。（看表）但是到了白天，就会和晚上一样困难。然后夜晚又来了……

Monica

(interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel I'm sorry! I have to start getting ready! I'm getting married today!

（打断）白天和晚上都困难，我知道了！好吧，对不起，我得开始准备了，今天我结婚！

Rachel

I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.

我知道，在黄昏。那对我是一个很艰难的时刻。

Monica

(getting up) I'm gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)

（站起来）我要开始化妆了，我们要在一个小时内到那里。（走向浴室）

Rachel

Okay. But wait!

好吧，等一下！

Monica

What?!

什么？

Rachel

Let's go to lunch.

我们去吃午饭吧！

Monica

I can't go to lunch!!

我不能去吃午饭！

Rachel

Right.

好吧。

(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)

（莫妮卡走进浴室，瑞秋迅速想办法）

Rachel

Oh good God! I've fallen down! (She trips and falls.)

哦天呀，我摔倒了！（她绊倒了）

Monica

(entering) What's going on?

（走进来）怎么回事？

Rachel

Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what I'm about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.

好吧。（站起来）亲爱的，听我说。当我告诉你之后，记住，我们都支持你，爱你。

Monica

Okay, you're-you're really freaking me out.

好吧，你真要弄得我慌了。

Rachel

We can't find Chandler...(Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)---'s vest. We can't find Chandler's vest.

我们找不到Chandler……（菲比探出头，示意他们找到Chandler了）……的马甲。我们找不到Chandler的马甲。

Monica

How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!

怎么会这样？等等，你是认真的吗？

Phoebe

(entering) Found the vest! I mean we're gonna have to keep an eye on it, y'know make sure we don't lose it again...

（走进来）找到马甲了！我们得留意些省得又丢了。

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

Monica

Oh wow! Okay. Don't scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"

哦，好了，不要再吓我了，好吗？那一瞬间，我就好像“天呀！最坏的事情发生了！”

(Monica goes into the bathroom and Phoebe and Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.)

（莫妮卡走进浴室，菲比和瑞秋松了口气）

Joey

I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!

我很快就会死在这个洞里，也不会让她和你在一起！

Richard

That can be arranged.

Richard：那可以被安排。

(Richard thrusts, misses Joey by several feet and Joey screams in pain and drops to his knees.)

（Richard刺出一剑，离乔伊还有好几英尺远，乔伊痛苦地尖叫着跪倒）

The Director

Let's reset.

我们重来。

Joey

What?! He got me! Owwwwww!!!

什么？他抓住我了！啊啊啊！！！

The Director

Let's take it from there.

从那里接下去。

Richard

(To Joey) Are you a little off today? It's going terribly slowly.

Richard：（对乔伊）你今天精神不集中？怎么这么慢。

Joey

Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And I'm the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?

听着，我的最好的朋友一小时后就要结婚了，好吗？我是主婚人。拜托！拜托！你能快点吗？

Richard

Of course! I'm-I'm sorry. I-I'd hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!

Richard：当然！我很抱歉，我恨你因为我错过任何事。我可以的！

Joey

Thank you. Thank you.

谢谢。谢谢。

The Director

Still rolling, annnnd action!

还在拍，开始！

Joey

I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!

我很快就会死在这个洞里，也不会让她和你在一起！

Richard

Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!

Richard：现在，那可以被安排！（他收回剑，但剑掉了，飞过墙）这小家伙真滑！

Phoebe

So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?

你们结过婚是吗？后来发生了什么，你们分居啦？

(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)

（瑞秋和Geller太太走进来）

Mrs. Geller

Here comes the bride.

Geller太太：新娘来了。

(Monica enters wearing her wedding dress.)

（莫妮卡穿着婚纱走进来）

Phoebe

Oh my God Monica!

哦天呀，Monica！

Monica

I wanna wear this everyday.

我想天天穿着这个。

Rachel

You look so beautiful.

你看起来真漂亮。

Monica

(starting to cry) I'm so happy for me.

（开始哭）我真为我感到高兴。

(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)

（电话铃响，瑞秋接电话）

Rachel

Hello?

喂？

Joey

(on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?

（电话中）嘿！Chandler出现了吗？

Rachel

Yeah, we got him back. Everything's fine.

我们找到他了，一切都很好。

Joey

Damnit!

该死！

Rachel

What? Why? Where are you?

什么？为什么？你在哪里？

Joey

I'm still on the set!

我还在片场！

Rachel

Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!

Joey！婚礼不到一小时就要举行了！

Joey

I know! I'm sorry! The guy's drunk, they won't let me go until we get this.

我知道，对不起！那个人喝醉了，他们不让我走，直到拍完。

Rachel

Oh my God! I'm gonna have to find another minister.

天哪，我该找另一个司仪了。

Joey

No! No, I'm the minister! All right, look-look, put 'em both on the phone, I'll marry them right now.

不，我是司仪！好吧，让他们俩接电话，我在这里宣布他们结婚。

Rachel

Ugh! Joey, I have to go.

呃！Joey，我要走了。

Joey

Hey! Don't you hang up on me! I'll marry you and me right now! I have the power!

嘿！不要挂掉电话！我会让你和我结婚！我有这个权力！

(She hangs up anyway.)

（她还是挂了）

Ross

There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasn't so scary, was it?

好啦，你现在穿上礼服了！不是很吓人，是不是？

Chandler

No.

不是。

Ross

I'm telling you, just a little bit at a time.

我告诉你，就穿一小段时间。

Chandler

Yeah okay. Well, what's the next little bit?

好吧，下面干什么？

Ross

Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like you've done everything else!

结婚。（钱德勒慌了）好吧，你可以做到。就好像你前面做的一样。

Chandler

Yeah. You're right. Hey I-I can do that.

好吧，你是对的，我做的到。

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)

我要出去一下。（开始离开）

Ross

Wh---Hey---Whoa-whoa, where, where you going?!

你去哪里？

Chandler

Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.

Ross，我不会跑掉的。我需要点新鲜空气。

Ross

Okay.

好的。

Chandler

Okay.

好的。

(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)

（钱德勒走到走廊，点了一支烟）

Chandler

Oh fresh air!

哦，新鲜空气！

(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)

（他听到菲比和瑞秋走过来，躲进制冰机房里）

Phoebe

(To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe you're overreacting! You do that y'know.

（对瑞秋）也许你有点反应过度了，你知道的。

Rachel

Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, y'know. I mean there's no way Joey's gonna make it in time. So I'm gonna through the hotel and see if there's any other weddings going on.

菲比，我们该做点什么。（她们转过拐角）Joey没办法办到。我要找找其他的婚礼司仪。

Phoebe

Okay. Oh but don't tell them Monica's pregnant because, they frown on that.

好的，但是不要告诉他们Monica怀孕了，他们会不高兴做司仪的。

Rachel

Okay.

好的。

Phoebe

Okay.

好的。

(They head in separate directions and Chandler emerges and he's so shocked that his cigarette is hanging from his lip.)

（她们分头走开，钱德勒走出来，震惊得烟都挂在嘴唇上）

Commercial Break

广告插播

Rachel

Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! (The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (He's wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?

Anastassakis/Papasifakis的婚礼，太棒了！（幸福的新人走出来）恭喜你们。（对伴郎和伴娘）恭喜！（拉比走出来）嗨！哦，很不错的帽子。听着，我需要你主持另一场婚礼。可以吗？

The Rabbi

I don't know. Are they Greek Orthodox?

我不知道。他们是希腊东正教徒吗？

Rachel

Yeah! Yeah. They're...they're-they're my friends, uh, Monica Stephanopolus and uh, and Chandler Acidofolus.

是的，是的。他们是我的朋友，Monica Stephanopolis和Chandler Acidophilus。

Ross

Hi! (To Mrs. Bing) Hi! (Mr. Bing starts rubbing his arm.) Hi. Has umm, anyone seen Chandler?

嗨！（对Bing太太）嗨！（Bing先生开始揉胳膊）嗨。谁见到Chandler了吗？

Mr. Geller

I thought he was with you.

Geller先生：我想他是和你在一起。

Ross

He-he was with me umm, we're playing a little game, y'know? Hide and seek.

他曾经和我在一起，我们在玩捉迷藏。

Mr. Geller

You can't ask us son, that's cheating.

Geller先生：你不能问我们，儿子，那是作弊。

Ross

(pause) You're right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.

（停顿）你是对的，谢谢你让我保持诚实，爸爸。

Mrs. Geller

Well, he better not come by here. He can't see the bride in the wedding dress.

Geller太太：他不能来这里看到穿着婚纱的新娘。

Mrs. Bing

As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.

Bing太太：我记得我们结婚的时候，我看到穿婚纱的新郎。

Mr. Bing

But that was after the wedding, it's not bad luck then.

Bing先生：那是在婚礼之后，不会带来厄运的。

Mrs. Bing

Honey, it isn't good luck.

Bing太太：亲爱的，那不是好运。

(Monica enters.)

（莫妮卡走进来）

Ross

Oh my God! Monica!

上帝呀！Monica！

Monica

I know! Hey, how's Chandler doin'?

我知道！Chandler在干吗？

Ross

Great. He's doing great. Don't you worry about Chandler.

他很好。他做的很好。不用担心Chandler。

Monica

Are you okay?

你还好吗？

Ross

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

Monica

Well, you're-you're sweating.

你在流汗。

Ross

These-these are beads of joy.

这些是喜悦的汗珠。

Monica

Oh that's sweet. Don't touch me.

真贴心。别碰我。

Ross

Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?

Phoebe，我能和你谈谈吗？

Phoebe

Yeah!

好的！

(They both go out into the hall.)

（他们走到走廊）

Phoebe

What's going on?

怎么啦？

Ross

Chandler's gone again!

Chandler又跑了！

Phoebe

Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!

天呀！你为什么要和一个你知道有很大风险会跑掉的人玩捉迷藏？

(Ross just glares at her.)

（罗斯只是瞪着她）

Joey

Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guy's hammered!

Aaron，你得让我走，那家伙喝醉了！

The Director

I'm sorry Joey, as long as he's here and he's conscious we're still shooting.

对不起Joey，只要他还在这里，还有意识，我们就得拍下去。

(He walks away and Joey does Ross's fist thing. He then enters Richard's dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)

（他走开，乔伊做了罗斯的握拳动作。然后他走进Richard的化妆间，发现Richard正在用他的剑切牛排）

Richard

You wouldn't happen to have a very big fork?

Richard：你有没有一个很大的叉子？

Joey

So I uh, I just talked to the director. That's it, we're done for the day.

我和导演谈过了。好了，我们今天的戏拍完了。

Richard

Well have we finished the scene?

Richard：我们拍完那一幕了？

Joey

Yeah! You...you were wonderful.

对，你表现得很棒。

Richard

As were you.

Richard：和你一样。

Joey

So I got your car, it's right outside.

我开来你的车了，就在外面。

Richard

Why? Are we done for the day?

Richard：为什么？我们今天拍完了吗？

Joey

That's what you told me.

是你告诉我的。

Richard

Oh, thank you. You're welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)

Richard：哦，谢谢你。不用谢。（他站起来，踉跄地走到沙发，开始躺下）

Joey

No-no-no! We gotta go! Come on! (Joey picks him up in a fireman's carry and carries him out.) Here we go.

不，我们得走了！快点！（乔伊用消防员式扛起他，带他出去）走吧。

Richard

Is that my ass? (He's looking at Joey's.)

Richard：这是我的屁股吗？（他在看乔伊的）

(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)

（乔伊走出门时，Richard顺手抓了一瓶苏格兰威士忌带了出去）

Ross

(turning a corner) There he is!!

（转过拐角）他在那里！

Chandler

What?

什么？

(Ross runs over and tackles him.)

（罗斯跑过去扑倒他）

Phoebe

Hey! Oh!

嘿！哦！

Ross

You're not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!

你这次别想再跑了！除非你想让我踹你屁股！

Chandler

Ross! (He starts to get up.)

Ross！（他开始站起来）

Ross

Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) I'm serious! You're not walking out on my sister!

嗨呀！（钱德勒又躺下）我是认真的！你别想离开我妹妹！

Chandler

(standing up) That's right! I'm not!

（站起来）没错，我不会！

Ross

Then where the hell have you been?!

那你去哪里啦？

Chandler

I know about Monica.

我知道Monica的事了。

Phoebe

You know?!

你知道？

Ross

What?

什么？

Chandler

Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.

我听到你和Rachel的谈话。

Ross

What?! What?! Talking about what?!

什么？你们在谈什么？

Chandler

You don't know?

你不知道？

Ross

Know what---If somebody doesn't tell me what's going on right now...

知道什么——如果再没有人告诉我的话……

Phoebe

What? You'll hi-ya?

什么，你就嗨呀？

Chandler

Monica's pregnant.

Monica怀孕了。

Ross

Oh my God. Oh my God! And you're-you're...you're not freaking out?

天呀，天呀，而你没有惊慌？

Chandler

Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes...

我曾经惊慌，然后我到礼品店买香烟。

Phoebe and Ross

Cigarettes?!!

香烟？！

Chandler

Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and that's when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, y'know what? I thought anything that can fit into this, can't be scary.

看重点好吗！接着我在礼品店，看到了这个。（他举起一个小婴儿的连体衣，上面写着“心形纽约”）然后我想，能套进这个东西的，不会有什么可怕的。

Phoebe

Well you obviously didn't see Chucky 3.

很显然你没看过Chuckie III。

Chandler

But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so she'd know I was okay.

瞧，这个多小，多可爱呀。我把它给Monica的话，她就会明白我对这一切有准备了。

Ross

Dude. (Hugs him.)

伙计。（拥抱他）

(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)

（Geller先生转过拐角）

Mr. Geller

Way to go son! I knew you'd find him!

Geller先生：干得好孩子，我知道你会找到他的。

Mr. Bing

Our little boy is getting married.

Bing先生：我们的小家伙终于结婚了。

Mrs. Bing

Oh look at you! So handsome!

Bing太太：瞧瞧你，多英俊！

Chandler

You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) I'm so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)

你看起来很漂亮，妈妈。（他爸爸清了清嗓子）你也很漂亮，爸爸。我爱你们。（他亲了亲爸爸的脸颊）我很高兴你们在这里。（他亲了亲妈妈）

(He walks up onto the altar and notices the rabbi.)

（他走上圣坛，注意到拉比）

The Rabbi

Are you Chandler?

你是Chandler吗？

Chandler

Are you Joey?

你是Joey吗？

(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)

（罗斯挽着菲比和瑞秋走过通道）

Ross

Huh. This is nice.

真不错。

Phoebe

What?

什么？

Ross

I've never walked down the aisle knowing it can't end in divorce.

我从来没有走在一条不通往离婚的过道上。

(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)

（最后，莫妮卡挽着父母的手臂开始走过通道）

Mrs. Geller

Oh I wish you're grandmother had lived to see this.

Geller太太：我希望你奶奶活着看到这一切。

Monica

She's right there.

她就在那里。

Mrs. Geller

Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.

Geller太太：不是那个老女人。我的妈妈。（她们停下，她亲了亲莫妮卡的脸颊）祝贺你，亲爱的。

Mr. Geller

I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)

Geller先生：我爱你，甜心。（他亲了亲她，他们坐下）

(Chandler steps off the altar to greet his bride-to-be.)

（钱德勒走下圣坛迎接他的新娘）

Chandler

You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)

你看起来真漂亮。这是新的？（她的婚纱）

Monica

Not now.

现在不是了。

Chandler

Okay.

好吧。

(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)

（他们一起走上圣坛，她注意到拉比）

Monica

(To Chandler) Who is this?

（对钱德勒）他是谁？

The Rabbi

I am Father Kalebasous.

我是Karabasos神父。

Chandler

(in Monica's ear) He's Greek Orthodox.

（在莫妮卡耳边）他是希腊东正教的。

Rachel

(leaning in) As are you...

（凑过来）和你们一样。

The Rabbi

Let us begin. Dearly beloved...

我们开始吧。亲爱的各位……

Joey

(entering) That's my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. You may be confused by this now, (He's still in costume) but you won't be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, let's get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I've known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?

（走进来）那是我的话！（他走过通道，走到拉比面前）我会搞定剩下的，谢谢。（对大家）亲爱的各位，我对我来迟感到抱歉。你们也许对这身衣服有点疑惑……但你们不会在2002年的战争纪念日上这样穿。让我们在新郎逃跑之前开始吧。今天我们聚在一起，参加这位先生和女士的神圣婚礼。我很久以前就认识Monica和Chandler，而且我想象不出比他们更合适的一对。现在，正如我忘在更衣室的笔记所写，我们进行宣誓。Monica？

(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)

（她转身从瑞秋那里拿誓言）

Monica

(To Rachel) He took off?

（对瑞秋）他逃跑过？

Rachel

Go on! Go on. (She turns back to Chandler.)

继续，继续。（她转回对着钱德勒）

Monica

Chandler, for so long I...I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now...here we are...with our future before us...and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!

Chandler，很久以来……我都一直怀疑我能否找到我的王子、我的真命天子。直到三年前，另一个婚礼上，我从一位朋友那里得到安慰。就在那时，我找到了我一生都在追求的。现在……我们在这里……我们的未来就在眼前……而我只希望和你一起分享，我的王子，我的真命天子，我的朋友。除非你不想。到你了！

Joey

Chandler?

Chandler？

(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)

（罗斯凑过去给钱德勒他的誓言）

Chandler

(To Ross) No, that's okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)

（对罗斯）不，没关系。（罗斯点头退回）Monica，我曾认为这会是我做的最艰难的一件事。但当我看到你从过道走过来，我发现一切都这么简单。我爱你。任何出乎意料的事到来都没关系，我会一直爱你。你是我希望能一起度过人生的人。你想知道我是否肯定？（他凑过去吻了她）

Joey

You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?

你还没亲新娘。那么，我以纽约州赋予我的权力……以及网上的家伙赋予的……我现在宣布你们为丈夫和妻子。哦等等，你们愿不愿意和对方在一起？

Chandler

I do.

我愿意。

Monica

I do.

我愿意。

Joey

Yeah you do!

是呀，你们愿意！

Ross

Rings?

戒指那？

Joey

Aw crap! Okay---uh...uh let's-let's do the rings.

哦废话。好吧，现在交换戒指。

(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each other's fingers.)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡分别转身，从罗斯和瑞秋那里接过戒指，戴在彼此的手指上）

Joey

We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.

我们干得不错吧？再一次，我宣布你们为丈夫和妻子。（对钱德勒）现在再亲她一次。

(They kiss and everyone applauds.)

（他们亲吻，大家鼓掌）

Chandler

(To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.

（对莫妮卡）我爱你。而且我知道孩子的事。

Monica

What baby?

什么孩子？

Chandler

Our baby.

我们的孩子。

Monica

We have a baby?

我们有孩子？

Chandler

Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.

Phoebe在垃圾桶里找到你的怀孕测试器。

Monica

I didn't take a pregnancy test.

我没做过怀孕测试。

Chandler

Then...who did?

那是谁做的？

Phoebe

Oh and they're gonna have a baby.

哦，他们就要有孩子了。

Rachel

Uh-huh.

是呀。

(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)

（镜头推向瑞秋，她脸上露出非常担忧和害怕的表情，慢慢深吸一口气）

Ending Credits

片尾