The One With Chandler's Dad

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy out for a little spin.

嘿，嗯 Mon，我看到保时捷停在外面，能给我钥匙吗？我想开它出去兜几圈。

Rachel

Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it.

等一下！（对莫妮卡）你让Ross开保时捷？当我问的时候，你说你是唯一可以开的人。

Monica

Yeah, well he's my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.

对呀，他是我哥哥呀，而且他开得很慢，不会弄坏它。

Ross

It's a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!

那是车，Monica，不是火箭船！

Monica

Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.

随便你怎么说，Ross！只要你开完之后把刹车灯的灯泡换了就行。

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin' good. When do I get to take that baby out again?

我看到保时捷了，Mon，看起来真棒。我什么时候能再开呀？

Rachel

(shocked) You let Joey drive it?!

（震惊）你让Joey开过？！

Phoebe

I've never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.

我可没开过，一次都没有！好吧，开过一次。好吧，我经常开。

Monica

Nice work everybody! So much for the y'know, "You can drive it, but don't tell Rachel" plan!

谢谢各位啦，多好的一个“你可以开车但是不要告诉Rachel”的计划！

Rachel

Wow! I can't believe you lied to me.

哇哦，我真不敢相信你骗我。

Phoebe

Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)

好吧，我可以解决这个问题！Monica，Rachel认为你脑子里只想着婚礼。（瑞秋瞪她）

Monica

Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I won't let you drive the Porsche is because you're a terrible driver. There! That wasn't about the wedding.

太好了！Rachel，我不让你开保时捷，是因为你是个糟糕的司机。怎么样，和婚礼无关吧。

Ross

Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche I'll be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.

听着Rach，如果你想坐保时捷的话，我可以带你在附近转转。

Joey

Yeah, you got a couple hours?

对呀，你有几个小时吗？

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

Whew! That was a brisk ride!

呼！真是愉快的兜风！

Rachel

Take the top down did ya?

你把车顶放下来了吧？

Ross

Only way to fly.

只有这样才舒服。

(Rachel laughs.)

（瑞秋笑）

Rachel

Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she's talking about! I am an excellent driver!

别这样Ross，给我钥匙！Monica根本不懂。我是个很棒的司机！

Ross

You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.

你开得又快又鲁莽，结论就是一个差司机。

Rachel

Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.

在高中，那就是拉拉队队长。

(A woman walks by and smiles at Ross's hair.)

（一个女人走过，对罗斯的头发微笑）

Ross

Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.

你看到那女孩刚才看我的眼神了吗？嗯？她一定看到我开着保时捷兜风。

Rachel

I think she's checking out your beehive Ross.

我想她是在看你的蜂窝头，Ross。

Ross

What?! (Checks his hair.) Give-give me a brush.

什么？！（检查头发）借我一把梳子。

Rachel

Gimme the keys!

把钥匙给我！

Ross

No way!

没门！

Rachel

Well no brush!

那就别想要梳子！

Ross

Fine! Y'know what? It doesn't matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.

好吧！你知道吗？没关系，因为如果我没记错，厕所的地板上有把梳子。

(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)

（他去厕所，他离开后瑞秋翻他的外套，拿走了钥匙和一张20美元钞票。之前的女人看着她这么做）

Rachel

(to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)

（对女人）离婚赡养费。（跑出去）

Monica

Chandler, we still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.

Chandler，我们还没有你父亲的回复。

Chandler

Oh! Right. Umm, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.

哦，对。嗯，也许是因为我没有寄给他邀请信。

Monica

Chandler! He's your father; he should be at the wedding.

Chandler！他是你的父亲，他应该出席婚礼。

Chandler

I don't even know the man. Okay? We're not the close. I haven't seen him in years.

我都不太了解他了，好吗？我们不太合得来。我好些年没见他了。

Monica

Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasn't even asked?!

如果他发现他连问都没被问过呢？

Chandler

Well he doesn't have to know! It's not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.

他不需要知道！我们又不在一个圈子里。我和你们在一起，他则在拉斯维加斯的变装秀里表演。

Phoebe

Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.

哦，我想我们可以互相换一下角色。

Chandler

Trust me, you don't want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.

相信我，你不会希望他在婚礼上的。好吗？没人会盯着新娘，当新郎的父亲穿着露背装。

Monica

So what! As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil I don't care.

那又怎么样！只要他不是穿着白色婚纱和头纱，我就不在乎。

Phoebe

Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)

好吧，我想我需要去买点东西。（起身离开）

Rachel

Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!

啊！（上车）哦，真棒！

(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)

（突然，罗斯不知从哪里扑到引擎盖上）

Rachel

My God!

天啊！

Ross

What do you think you're doing?!

你以为你在干什么？！

Rachel

Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)

只是清洗挡风玻璃。（她打开雨刷，把罗斯从引擎盖上推下去）

Ross

There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why don't you just hand over the keys?

我绝不会让你开这辆车！所以你最好把钥匙交出来。

Rachel

Oh.

噢。

(She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel.)

（她把钥匙插入点火开关，点火开关在方向盘的左侧）

Ross

No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesn't find it.)

不，啊-啊-啊！不要启动车子！（她发动了车子）好吧！好吧！如果你现在下车，我给你20块钱！（他找被瑞秋偷走的20美元，没找到）

Rachel

Look Ross, if you're so freaked out, just get in the car!

听着Ross，如果你这么害怕，就上车吧！

Ross

With you?! Yeah right!

和你？是呀，真不错！

Rachel

All right. (She starts off.)

好吧。（她开动）

Ross

(grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)

（抓住车）好吧！好吧！好吧！（他上车，但坐到了后座）

Rachel

What are you doing?! Get in the front!

你在干什么？坐到前面来！

Ross

In the death seat?!!

在那个要命的位置上？！

Rachel

Oh my...

哦我的天……

(They drive off.)

（他们开走了）

Man

Hey guys!

嘿，你们好！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey sweetie!

嘿，亲爱的！

Man

Ready to go?

准备好了吗？

Phoebe

Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monica's. I'll be right back. (She goes to get it.)

好的！当然！哦，我的包放在Monica那里了，我去拿回来。（她去拿）

Man

(stopping her) Wait a minute!

（拦住她）等一下！

Phoebe

What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)

什么？（他凑过来吻她）哦。（他们接吻，菲比停顿）哦。（停顿）哇哦！这个吻还在继续呢。（离开）

Joey

So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?

那么，你和Phoebe，嗯？你们在一起多久啦？

Man

Over a month.

一个多月了。

Joey

Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.

哇！也许嗯，也许你和我也应该进一步了解一下对方。

Man

Sure, I'd like that.

当然，我很乐意。

Joey

So uh, what's your name?

那嗯，你叫什么名字？

Man

(laughs) Its Jake.

（笑）Jake。

Joey

Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?

Joey。（他们握手）嘿Jake，你喜欢尼克斯队吗？

Jake

Yeah, big fan.

Jake：当然，忠实球迷。

Joey

Me too! There's a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?

我也是！周二有场比赛，你想去吗？

Jake

Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. (He bends over to open his bag, when he does so his pants slide down his butt revealing a pink lace secret.)

Jake：好啊，那太好了！我确认下周二没事。（他弯腰打开包，这时他的裤子滑下臀部，露出粉红色蕾丝的秘密）

Monica

Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)

给！（她把一个包放在他面前）

Chandler

What's this?

这是什么？

Monica

It's your suitcase. We're going to Las Vegas.

是你的行李箱。我们去拉斯维加斯。

Chandler

Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowers---Think of the money we'll save!! (Monica just looks at him.) We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?

你是认真的？私奔？不再有那些愚蠢的婚礼的东西？不再有这个花还是那个花还是那个花——想想我们能省多少钱！（莫妮卡只是看着他）我们不是私奔。我喜欢那些花。我们的婚礼能不能更宏大一些？

Monica

We're going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It's time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.

我们去拉斯维加斯看你父亲。是时候你们俩谈谈了，我想认识一下我的未来公公。

Chandler

Y'know we already went over this and I won!

你知道我们已经争过这件事了，是我赢了！

Monica

No you didn't. Oh and honey just so you know, now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.

不，你没有赢。哦亲爱的，你要知道，你就要娶我了，你不会再占上风了。

Chandler

Look forget it okay? I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I don't wanna.

算了吧好吗？我不想去。我不想见他。我不想去。

Monica

Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know...

Chandler，我知道你爸爸让你很尴尬。我知道……

Chandler

No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, you'd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Y'know it's hard enough to be fourteen. You're skinny. You're wearing speedoes---That your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and there's your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!

不，不，父母总是让他们的孩子感到尴尬，你应该多了解一些我的经历。在高中，每次我的游泳比赛，他都参加……穿得像个好莱坞小明星。对于14岁的人来说是很痛苦的，你还很瘦弱，你还穿着大短裤，你妈妈保证你会长大撑起来的！然后你抬头看台上，你爸爸穿着Carmen Miranda的衣服在给你加油。他戴着有真水果的头巾，他过后会把那些水果给你的朋友，就好像那是健康食品一样！

Monica

Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? That's a, that's a pretty great dad.

嘿，关键是，他每次比赛都来给你加油，他在那里给你加油。那是个好爸爸。

Chandler

He had sex with Mr. Girabaldi!

他还和Garibaldi先生嘿咻！

Monica

Who's Mr. Girabaldi?

谁是Garibaldi先生？

Chandler

Does it matter?!

这有关系吗？！

Monica

Chandler, you're not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe it's time that you let that stuff go. If your father's not at your wedding...you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.

Chandler，你已经不再是14岁了，好吗？也许是时候忘了这一切。如果你父亲不参加你的婚礼，你可能会一辈子感到后悔。

Chandler

Yeah o-okay, but I'm just doing this for you.

好吧，我只是为你这么做。

Monica

Yes!

太好了！

Chandler

So I really never get to win anymore?

那我真的一次上风都占不了啦？

Monica

How much did ever really win before?

你以前赢过多少次？

Joey

Pheebs!

Pheebs！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Listen, you know how uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?

听着，你知道当你穿着裤子，探身过来的时候，我会偷看你的内裤吗？

Phoebe

Yeah!

对呀！

Joey

Well, when Jake did it I saw that...he was wearing women's underwear!

嗯，当Jake这么做的时候，我看到他……穿着女士内裤！

Phoebe

I know. They were mine.

我知道，那是我的。

Joey

Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, that's weird!

哦。（笑）不！等等，那太古怪了！

Phoebe

No, it's not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.

不，才不奇怪！我们只是在闹着玩，我激他穿上的。

Joey

That's weird!

太古怪啦！

Phoebe

I'm wearing his briefs right now.

我现在穿着他的平角内裤呢。

Joey

That's...kinda hot.

那……有点性感。

Phoebe

I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.

我也这么认为。还有前面那个小兜？很适合放我的唇膏。

Joey

Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.

是呀，我可不知道那些。

Phoebe

And! Y'know what Jake says? That women's underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.

还有！你知道吗，Jake说女士内裤更舒服一些。他喜欢丝质面料摩擦他皮肤的感觉。

Joey

Yeah well next thing you know, he'll be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!

是呀，接下来他会说高跟鞋对他的姿势有好处！

Phoebe

There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! I'm thinking even more than you.

Jake没有错！好吗？他很有男人味！我觉得比你还多一点。

Joey

Oh yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink laceys.

哦是吗，他穿着粉色蕾丝内裤看起来像个真正的伐木工人？

Phoebe

I'm just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear! I don't think you could ever do that.

我只是说，只有对自己的男子汉气概完全有信心的人，才敢穿着女士内裤到处走。我不认为你行。

Joey

Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.

嘿！我对我的男子汉气概很有信心。

Phoebe

Okay whatever.

好吧，随便你怎么说。

Joey

You've seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)

你看到过我那一大堆色情录像带，对吧？（菲比点头）

Rachel

God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.

天啊，我都忘了我多喜欢开车。我得去换我的驾照了。

Ross

(shocked) You don't have a valid driver's license---Okay that is it! Pull over right now!

（震惊）你没有有效的驾驶证？——好了，够了！现在靠边停车！

Rachel

Oh Ross you're so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax... (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)

哦Ross，你太紧张了！放松好吗？只需要放松就行了。只需要放松。（她把手从方向盘上拿开）

Ross

(grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are you---Okay that's not funny! Just stop horsing around!

（抓住方向盘）你干什么？你——这不搞笑！别闹了！

Rachel

I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.

我才不是在胡闹，好吗？我是在飙车。

(Suddenly a siren goes off behind them.)

（突然，身后响起警笛声）

Rachel

Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)

噢-哦。（她开始靠边停车）

Ross

Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.

冷静，不会有事的。你不会有大麻烦的。

Rachel

Really? You think so?

真的？你这么认为？

Ross

I was talking to myself! You're going down!

我是在对自己说！你完蛋了！

A Waiter in Drag

(to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?

（对钱德勒和莫妮卡）有人给你们点单吗？

Monica

Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) I'm-I'm sorry I'm new. I don't...

呃，是的，她点了。呃，他点了。（对钱德勒）她？（对服务生）对不起，我第一次来，我不太……

Waiter in Drag

(To Chandler) Hm-mmm?

（对钱德勒）嗯？

Chandler

Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)

对，我刚点了啤酒！（拍桌子）

Waiter in Drag

You're straight. I get it. (Walks away.)

你是异性恋，我明白了。（走开）

Monica

I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.

我还是觉得如果我们给你爸爸打电话，我们能弄到更好的座位。

Chandler

No! No! I don't want him to know we're yet! I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And besides he's not gonna be too happy to see me either.

不！不！我不想让他知道我们在这里。我还没准备好。而且他见到我也不会太高兴。

Monica

Why not?!

为什么？

Chandler

I don't know if I've told you this, but he's kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years.

我不知道我跟你说过没有，但在过去这些年里，他一直尝试和我联系。

Monica

What?!

什么？

Chandler

Yeah, he's made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Y'know it's all very Cats in the Cradle---I don't want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.

是呀，他打电话，写信，他甚至来过纽约。但我总说我太忙没空见他。这事很复杂，我不想再说了。（演出开始）开始啦。

Announcer

Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket!

女士们先生们，欢迎无以伦比的Helena Handbasket！

(There's applause as Helena turns around and it's Kathleen Turner.)

（掌声中Helena转过身来，是Kathleen Turner）

Helena

Hello darlings.

Helena：你们好呀，亲爱的们。

Chandler

And there's daddy!

那就是我爸爸！

Commercial Break

广告插播

Rachel

Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! I'll go under, you go over!

好吧，和我换位置！和我换位置！快点！我从下面钻过去，你从上面过来！

Ross

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

是呀，我马上就那样做。

Rachel

Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)

哦，别这样Ross！！（她试图和他换位置，从他的腿下钻过去）

Ross

No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.

不，Rach！别闹！我们做这种事是不会被逮捕的。

(She sits back up as the policeman approaches. She undoes her top button.)

（她坐起来，警察走近。她解开最上面的纽扣）

Rachel

(sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?

（性感地）你好呀，警官，我是不是开得快了点？

Ross

Oh my God.

哦天啊。

Policeman

Can I see your license please?

能看一下你的驾照吗？

Rachel

Oh yes, absolutely! Y'know, it's weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh...well I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.

哦当然，没问题！你知道吗，有点奇怪，昨天晚上我梦见我被一位警官拦下来，然后他……嗯，也许我不该告诉你剩下的。

Policeman

Your license?

驾照？

Rachel

(handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.

（递给他）好的，给你，帅哥警官。

Policeman

That's Hanson.

是Hanson。

Rachel

Oops sorry, my mistake.

哦不好意思，我弄错了。

Ross

Dear Lord!!

我的天呀！

Policeman

Wow!

哇哦！

Ross

Here it comes.

来了来了。

Policeman

This is a great picture.

真是不错的照片。

Rachel

Really?! You think so? Y'know, I had just rolled out of bed.

真的？你也这么认为？你知道吗，我当时刚起床不久。

Policeman

Yeah? Well you look phenomenal.

是吗？你看起来棒极了。

Ross

Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!

她当然应该，那是10年前拍的！

Rachel

Y'know you're-you're probably wondering about the old date on there.

你知道吗，你可能……对上面那个旧日期感到好奇。

Policeman

Yes I am.

是的。

Rachel

Yeah.

嗯。

Policeman

You're an Aquarius, huh?

你是水瓶座，嗯？

Rachel

I bet you're a Gemini.

我猜你是双子座。

Policeman

Nope.

不。

Rachel

Taurus?

金牛座？

Policeman

Nope.

不。

Rachel

Virgo?

处女座？

Policeman

Nope.

不。

Rachel

Sagittarius?

人马座？

Policeman

Yep.

对了。

Rachel

I knew it! I knew it, ahh....

我就知道！我就知道，啊……

Policeman

Well I tell you what...

好吧，我跟你说……

Rachel

Yeah?

嗯？

Policeman

You're not gonna speed anymore right?

你不会再超速了，对吧？

Rachel

I won't speed.

我不会再超速了。

Policeman

And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away?

而且你保证马上把驾照的事办好？

Rachel

I promise.

我保证。

Policeman

And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?

还有，这段时间你最好让他来开。他有驾照吗？

Rachel

Yeah!

有！

Policeman

Can he handle the stick?

他会用排挡杆吗？

Rachel

Oh well...

哦，这个……

Ross

I can handle the stick!!

我会用排挡杆！！

Helena

I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and...(She holds the mike out to the audience.)

Helena：我感觉好美，哦如此美丽。我感觉美丽又机智……（她把麦克风伸向观众）

All

Gay!

同性恋！

Monica

That can't be your father.

那不可能是你父亲。

Chandler

Believe me, I've been saying that for years. Oh my God!

相信我，我已经这样说了好些年了。我的天呀！

Monica

What?

怎么啦？

Chandler

That's Mr. Girabaldi playing the piano.

那是Garibaldi先生在弹钢琴。

Helena

(singing) For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)

Helena：（唱）因为我被一个很棒的男人爱着！（掌声）大家好，欢迎观看演出。我看到观众中有些熟面孔，也有些不熟悉的。（他开始走向观众）

Chandler

He's coming into the audience. He's coming into the audience.

他走向观众啦。他走向观众啦。

Monica

Relax! You'll be fine.

放松！你会没事的。

(Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. You're invisible now.

（钱德勒呼了口气，关掉桌灯）哦好多了。你现在隐形了。

Helena

(standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?

Helena：（站在一张桌子前，问坐在那里的人）你从哪里来？

Guy

Bakersfield.

Bakersfield。

Helena

I'm sorry? (Holds out the mike.)

Helena：对不起？（递出麦克风）

Guy

Bakersfield!

Bakersfield！

Helena

No-no I heard! I'm just sorry.

Helena：不，我听到了。我只是感到抱歉。

Chandler

It can't happen like this. Okay? I'll meet you back at the hotel. (He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)

不能这样。好吧，我待会和你在酒店见面。（他站起来要走，但Helena看到并叫住他）

Helena

(to Chandler's back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)

Helena：（对着钱德勒的背）哦瞧，已经有人起立鼓掌了！演出才开始呢。哦转过来，亲爱的，让我看看你漂亮的脸蛋。（他慢慢转过身。Helena认出了他）

Monica

Can we have our drinks please?! Waiter---Uh, tress!

能把我们的饮料拿来吗？！服务生——呃，女——服务生！

Joey

Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)

嘿Pheebs！（他坐到她旁边）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that he's got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!

瞧瞧。（他转过身，拉下裤子，给菲比看他穿着内裤）我多有男子气概？

Phoebe

Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.

哇哦，真棒！有男人味，还有点点放荡。

Joey

Y'know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.

你知道吗，我开始明白Jake的意思了。

Phoebe

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

Joey

The silk? Feels really good!

丝质的？感觉真棒！

Phoebe

Huh.

嗯。

Joey

Yeah! And-and things aren't as...smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.

对！而且……不像我想象的那么挤。

Phoebe

That's great Joe!

那挺好，Joe！

Joey

Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear!

对！而且比起男士内裤，你有更多的选择！

Phoebe

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

Joey

Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! You've got cotton, silk, lace! And y'know what I've always wondered about?

比基尼式，法式，丁字裤！还有面料！有棉的，丝的，蕾丝的！你知道我一直向往的是什么吗？

Phoebe

Hmm?

嗯？

Joey

Pantyhose! Y'know? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here... (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldn't I?

裤袜！你知道吗？从脚趾开始，一直往上到……（他比划着，意识到自己说过头了，停下来）我应该把它们换掉，对吗？

Phoebe

I think it's important that you do.

我想你最好还是换掉。

(Joey agrees and heads to take them off.)

（乔伊同意，去把它们脱掉）

Helena

So what's your name?

Helena：你叫什么名字？

Chandler

(resigning himself to his fate) Chandler. (He quickly sits down.)

（认命地）Chandler。（他赶紧坐下）

Helena

Chandler? What an unusual name! You must've had terribly fascinating parents.

Helena：Chandler？多么不寻常的名字！你一定有一对十分有趣的父母。

Chandler

Oh, they're a hoot.

是呀，他们是很有趣的一对。

Helena

(To Monica) And who is your friend?

Helena：（对莫妮卡）你的朋友是谁？

Monica

I'm-I'm Monica.

我……我是Monica。

Helena

Monica! Where are you from?

Helena：Monica！你从哪里来？

Monica

New York.

纽约。

Helena

I'm not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monica's ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?

Helena：我不太喜欢纽约。皇后区我喜欢。（注意到莫妮卡的戒指）哦，这是……多么耀眼的东西呀，亲爱的，对吗？（向观众展示，观众发出赞叹声）

Chandler

Actually Monica and I are engaged.

事实上，Monica和我订婚了。

Helena

Really?! Congratulations. When's the big day?

Helena：真的呀？祝贺你们。什么时候是大喜的日子？

Monica

(looks at Chandler) In...in two weeks.

（看着钱德勒）两……两个礼拜后。

Helena

(disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So you're bald?

Helena：（失望地）我明白了。好吧，我祝你们两个一生幸福。（对一个秃头男人）那么，你是秃的？

Chandler

Wait! Wait! We'd really love it if you could be there.

等等！等等！我们真的很希望你能来。

Helena

We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)

Helena：我们？（看着莫妮卡，莫妮卡点头）

Chandler

I know it would make me happy, ma'am.

我知道那会让我高兴的，女士。

Helena

Well I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh! I'm getting all misty here! You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)

Helena：那我绝对不会错过的。哦！我眼睛都有点模糊了！你还以为我在褪腿毛呢。（回到台上）

Monica

(To Chandler) You okay?

（对钱德勒）你还好吗？

Chandler

Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.

还好。谢谢你让我这么做。

Helena

Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life... (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) It's raining men!

Helena：在我们继续表演之前，我要对新娘和新郎说，他们找到彼此是多么幸运。每个人生中，阴雨总是会落下。幸运的是，在我的生命中……（四个穿着橡胶靴、短裤、帽子，除此之外什么都没穿、拿着雨伞的男人跑上台）（唱）It's raining men！

The Chorus Line

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah！

The Chorus Line

Amen!

Amen！

Chandler

(To Monica) When I was growing up I...played the one on the far left.

（对莫妮卡）在我长大的时候，我……扮演最左边的那个。

Rachel

Remind me to introduce you to someone!

提醒我要把你介绍给某人！

Ross

Who?

谁？

Rachel

Fourth gear!!

第四档！

(Suddenly a siren goes off.)

（突然，警笛响起）

Ross

What?! What does he want?! I wasn't doing anything!

什么？！他想要什么？我什么都没做！

Rachel

Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two o'clock position.

也许他看到你的手老是在十点钟和两点钟位置之间晃动。

Ross

Maybe it's uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)

也许是人马座警官回来继续放电！（他们靠边停车）

Rachel

It's a different guy!

是另一个人！

(The policeman walks up.)

（警察走过来）

Ross

Good evening officer.

晚上好，警官。

Policeman

Do you know how fast you were traveling back there?

你知道刚才你开多快吗？

Ross

Ah no. I don't, but it could not have been more than sixty.

嗯不，我不知道，但应该不超过60英里。

Policeman

You're right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)

没错，是37。（瑞秋笑）

Ross

I mean you're not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?

你不会因为我开得太慢而给我开罚单吧？

Policeman

That's right.

没错。

(There's a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)

（停顿，罗斯突然变得挑逗起来）

Ross

Y'know of-officer I uh...I had the weirdest dream last night...

你知道吗，警官，我……我昨晚做了个很怪的梦……

Rachel

Oh my God!

我的天啊！

Policeman

Your license please.

你的驾照，谢谢。

Ross

(laughs) You don't-you don't want to hear about my dream Officer...Pretty?

（笑）你不想听听我的梦吗……靓警官？

Policeman

It's Petty. (He grabs Ross's license.) I'll be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)

是Petty。（他拿过罗斯的驾照）我马上回来给你罚单。（走回他的车）

Rachel

(pause) You have a son!

（停顿）你有个儿子！

Ross

I know. I know.

我知道。我知道。

Ending Credits

片尾

Phoebe

Feel better?

感觉好些了吗？

Joey

Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that I'm y'know insecure about my manhood or anything y'know, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.

对！好多了！听着，嗯，不是我对我的男子汉气概没信心什么的，但是我觉得我现在就需要找个女人。

Phoebe

Yeah, I understand.

嗯，我明白。

Joey

Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!

好！行！（他注意到沙发后面坐着一个漂亮女人，走过去和她搭话）嘿！嗨！

Woman

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Y'know, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

你知道吗，你看起来很眼熟。我在哪里见过你吗？

Woman

I don't think so.

我不觉得。

Joey

Oh! Maybe it's because I'm on television. I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.

哦！也许是因为我在电视上演过戏。我是《我们的日子》的演员。

Woman

Wow!

哇哦！

Joey

Yeah.

嗯。

Woman

Really?!

真的吗？

Joey

Hm-mmm.

嗯嗯。

Waitress

(to the woman) $4.50 please.

（对女人）4块5，谢谢。

Joey

Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.

哦，我来付。（他拿出钱包，但内裤跟着被带出来。女人和服务生都震惊了）（意识到）（对女人）这是给你的。

End

结束