The One With Joey's New Brain

Monica

I'm glad you're here, we have a couple of things to ask you about the wedding ceremony.

感谢你们过来。我们想和你们商量一下婚礼的事情。

Rachel

(starting to cry) Ohh...

（开始哭）只是……

Ross

What's the matter? You okay?

有什么问题吗？你还好吗？

Rachel

Yeah, it's just y'know...

只是……

Chandler

(To Ross) Monica said wedding.

（对罗斯）Monica说了“婚礼。”

Monica

Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.

我们想你们中的一个可以读些什么。

Rachel

Oh! I would love to read a poem.

好吧，我想我也可以做这个。

Chandler

Do you think you could get through a poem?

你认为你可以作诗吗？

Rachel

(crying) It'll be a short one.

（哭）它将会是首短诗。

Monica

Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.

好的，罗斯将读。

Rachel

Ohhh...

哦哦哦……

Ross

Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.

好的，我猜我也能做。

Chandler

Too?

也能？

Ross

Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.

我还另外给你们准备了些东西。

Monica

Do you mind telling us what it is?

你能告诉我们是什么吗？

Ross

Sorry, I'm kinda keeping this one on the Q.T.

不好意思，我到最后才告诉你们。

Chandler

Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)

不管是什么，我希望包括打盹。（间谍式地眨眼。）

Joey

(entering, excited) Hey!

（兴奋地进来）嘿。

All

Hey!

嘿。

Joey

So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and...

我刚和一个DOOL的剧作者聊过——

Monica

What is DOOL?

什么是DOOL？

Joey

Days Of Our Lives. Anyway, you're not gonna believe it! My character is coming out of his coma!!

我们的日子。你们不会相信。我的角色就要清醒了！

All

Oh!!

哦！！

Chandler

That's great!

真不错呀。

Joey

And-and-and not only that, I'm gettin' a new brain!!

不仅如此。我还会有个新的大脑！

Chandler

So great things are happening at work and in your personal life!

真是双喜临门呀。你的工作和你的个人生活都有好处。

Rachel

Wait, what do you mean you're getting a new brain?

你会有个新的大脑？

Joey

Oh well, they're killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.

你们会杀掉一个角色，把他的大脑移植到我的身体里。

Ross

What? A brain transplant?!

什么？大脑移植？

Joey

(seriously) Yes, it's a highly controversial procedure.

（严肃地）那是荒谬的。

Ross

It's ridiculous!

你三个月里没有性生活才荒谬呢。

Joey

Well, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't had sex in three and a half months.

现在是冬天。

Ross

(to Monica and Rachel) It's winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)

（对莫妮卡和瑞秋）街上很少人。（瑞秋和莫妮卡会意地微笑点头。）

Monica

Who are they killing off?

他们要把谁除掉？

Joey

Uh Cecilia Monroe, she plays Jessica Lockhart.

Cecilia Monroe，她扮演Jessica Lockhart。

Rachel and Monica

Noo!!

不！

Monica

She's my favorite character on DOOL.

她是我在DOOL里最喜欢的角色。

Joey

Nice.

她把饮料泼到人脸上是那么的棒。

Rachel

She is so good at throwing drinks in people's faces, I mean I don't think I've ever seen her finish a beverage.

我从来没看她喝完过饮料。

Monica

And the way she slaps all the time!

还有她扇人耳光。

Rachel

Oh!

看了之后你不想做吗？

Monica

Wouldn't you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)

别做！

Chandler

Don't do it.

她一直都在这部剧集中。

Rachel

Cecilia Monroe man, what a great actress.

很难接她的班呀。

Joey

Oh, tell me about it. And she's been on the show forever, it's gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.

等一下，问一个问题。

Ross

Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?

当你完成这个大脑移植手术之后……你将成为她？

Joey

Yes, but in Drake Remoray's body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!

对，不过是在Drake Ramoray的身体里。你怎么就这么难接受呢？我还以为你是科学家应该没问题呢。

Opening Credits

片头

Phoebe

(Clears Throat) Rach, so, that guy there. Straight or gay?

（清嗓子）Rach，那边那个男的，是异性恋还是同性恋？

Rachel

(They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.

（两人都往身后看。）我不得不说是同性恋。

Phoebe

Yeah? Why?

是吗？为什么？

Rachel

Well mainly because he's kissing that other guy.

只要是因为他亲了个个男人。

Phoebe

Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)

哦不，不是那边那个男的。那个家伙在那边。（指着身后桌边一个英俊的男人。）

Rachel

Oh yeah he's too cute to be straight.

哦，他太帅了，不太可能是异性恋。

Phoebe

(A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)

（一个大胸女人走进门）刚进来的人会帮我们搞清楚的。（她走过，他打量着她。）

Rachel

All right, straight, and not subtle. (The man gets up and leaves.)

好吧，异性恋，而且不太会掩饰自己。（男人起身离开。）

Phoebe

Ohh, he left his cell phone.

他把他的手机忘了。

Rachel

Oh, well, we can hand it to Gunther and he'll put it in lost and found.

我们可以让Gunther把它放到失物招领处。

Phoebe

Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.

或者我们可以用它打电话到中国，看看那里的人在干什么。

Rachel

What if, um, if he calls his own cell phone to find out who found it and I answer and we start talking and we fell in love. I mean wouldn't that be a great story? Kind of like a fairy tale for the digital age.

如果他拔打自己的电话，我接了电话……然后我们开始交谈，最后坠入爱河。这是不是很不错的故事？有点像数字时代的童话。

Phoebe

Yeah... That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)

听起来很不错。我去拿那个电话。（两人都站起来。）

Rachel

What? Wait! Why...why do you get the story?

什么？等一下。为什么你可以开展这段童话？

Phoebe

I don't know. I haven't been out on a date in so long.

我已经很久没有约会了。

Rachel

Phoebe, you had a date three days ago.

Phoebe，你三天前才约会过。

Phoebe

That wasn't a date! That was, that was just friends getting together...(quietly) having sex.

那不是约会。只是两个朋友在一起，以及……做爱。

Rachel

Okay. Okay, see? I get the phone.

好吧，我拿电话。

Phoebe

No way! No way! You just broke with Tag a week ago.

不行，你一个礼拜前才和Tag分手。

Rachel

Yeah! (Breaking up) And until now, I didn't think I'd love again.

没错，直到现在，我还不认为我会再次恋爱。

Phoebe

Nice try.

装得不错。

Rachel

Oh hey-hey wait! How do we fairly decide who gets the phone?

嘿-嘿，等等！我们怎样才能公平的决定谁拿手机呢？

Phoebe

I don't know.

我不知道。

(They edge closer to the phone on the table.)

（她们靠近桌上的手机。）

Rachel

Well umm, maybe we could uhh... (Grabs the phone) Ah-ha! Too slow!!

也许我们可以……（抓起手机）啊哈！太慢啦！

(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calmly knocks the phone out of Rachel's hand and catches it.)

（她把手机伸出去挑逗菲比。菲比冷静地把手机从瑞秋手里打掉并接住。）

Phoebe

Ah-ha! Too cocky!

啊哈！太自信啦。

Dina

I'm going to keep dating him Mother, and there's nothing you can do about it!

我要继续和他约会，妈妈，你阻止不了！

Jessica Lockhart

Oh yes there is!

哦，有！

Dina

What are you going to do? Kill him? Like you did with Charles?!

你打算怎么办？杀了他？像你对待查尔斯那样？

Jessica Lockhart

(gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.

（倒吸气）那是意外！你也是。

Dina

Well, at least I'm not a murderer! (Jessica slaps her.)

至少我不是杀人犯！（杰西卡扇她耳光。）

Jessica Lockhart

(crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dina's head to her other shoulder so that she's the only one in the picture.)

（哭）哦，我的宝贝！（拥抱迪娜，但把迪娜的头挪到另一边肩膀，这样镜头里只有她自己。）

The Director

Cut!

停！

(Joey walks up to Cecilia Monroe who plays Jessica.)

（乔伊走向扮演杰西卡的塞西莉亚·门罗。）

Joey

That was a great scene! And-and-and that slap looks so real! How do you do that?

拍得真棒。那记耳光是那么真实。您是怎么做到的？

Cecilia

Oh, just years of experience.

哦，只是多年的经验。

Dina

(crying) Can I get some ice here?!

（哭）有人能给我些冰块吗？！

Joey

Oh anyway, I just wanted to say how wonderful I think you are.

我只想对你说你是多么的棒。

Cecilia

You're not the fan who's dying are you?

你不是那个快死的影迷吧？

Joey

Say what?

什么？

Cecilia

I'm supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but that's not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!

我应该见一个快要死的影迷并拥抱他，但那要等到（对空气）晚些时候！

Joey

No. No, I'm Joey Tribbiani; we did a scene together yesterday. I-I'm the guy in the coma!

不，我是Joey Tribbiani。我们昨天一起拍过戏的。我就是那个昏迷的人。

Cecilia

Oh that was a real person?!

哦，那是真人？

Joey

An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since I'm getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me...

当你离开剧集的时候，我会得到你的大脑……我很希望我能不能……

Cecilia

I-I-I'm leaving the show?

我要离开剧集？

Joey

(quickly) I don't know. Why? Did you hear something?

（很快地）我不知道。为什么？你听说什么了吗？

Cecilia

Who told you that?

谁告诉你的？

Joey

Oh uh, one of the writers.

一个剧作者。

Cecilia

Which one? Was it bald or was it tall?

是那个秃的还是高的？

Joey

Umm...

嗯……

Cecilia

Y'know what? It doesn't matter! Because it is not true!

要知道，这没什么关系，因为这不会是真的。

Joey

Okay.

好吧。

Cecilia

And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that I've been playing for 20 years---I'll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)

如果不是真的，你怎么敢跑到我这里问角色的技巧。我已经演了二十年了——我给你个提示！（她把饮料泼在他脸上。）

Joey

Ms. Monroe... (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)

Monroe女士……（她扇他耳光）好吧，干的不错。（她气冲冲地离开，留下乔伊站在迪娜旁边。他们对刚刚挨的那一记耳光的猛烈程度互相点头示意。）

Rachel

No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; that's not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why don't we, why don't we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.

不，菲比！你不能用这个理由又得到帅哥又拿最后一个松饼。这不公平！好吧，我有个主意。为什么我们不看看他手机的快捷键有什么号码，谁和他有更多共同点的得到手机。

Phoebe

Or, we can decide by whose ever name is closer to the word phone.

或者我们看看谁的名字离“电话”这个词更近。

Rachel

I don't think so.

好吧。

Phoebe

(handing Rachel the phone) Fine all right, but I'd bet you'd be singing another tune if we were fighting over a ratchet.

（把手机递给瑞秋）好吧，我今天已经用这个理由啦？对不起。

Rachel

(checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.

（检查快捷键）第一个快捷键的名字是“妈妈。”

Phoebe

Ohh, I lost my mom to suicide.

哦，我妈妈自杀死的。

Rachel

Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.

Ben, Carlos, David...

Phoebe

Did I use that already today? I'm sorry.

哦，我赢啦！

Rachel

Yes okay. (Checking the speed dial again.) Well now see this isn't telling us anything. (Reading the speed dial) Joe. Carlos. Peter. Ooh! Peter Luger! That's a steak house!

他电话里有个Barney的快捷键。

Phoebe

Okay, a meat eater. Fine, that's one for you.

你不知道Barney是不是那个商店呀。

Rachel

(looking at the speed dial) Oh, I win! He's got Barney's on his speed dial.

那可能是他朋友的房子，或酒吧。

Phoebe

So you don't know that's Barney's the store! That can be y'know his friend's house, or a bar. Who has Barney's the store on their speed dial?

谁会把商店的号码放在自己的手机里？

Rachel

(showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!

他的新女友会。

Monica

What is that?

那是什么声音？

Chandler

I think it's the dying cat parade.

我猜想是快死的猫们在游行。

Monica

It sounds like it's coming from across the street.

好像是从对面街传过来的。

Chandler

(turning around and looking) Oh my God!

（转身看）哦，天呀。

Monica

What?

怎么啦？

Chandler

Y'know that thing that Ross was gonna do at our wedding?! He was hanging out with me yesterday and he turned to me and said, "You're half Scottish right?"

记得Ross说要在婚礼上做些事吗？他曾经和我聊天，对我说，“你有一半苏格兰血统，是吗？”

Monica

Nooo!!

不，不可能。

Chandler

Yes!!

真不敢相信。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

No, there is no way! It can not be Ross! (She looks through the window and sees Ross practicing and fumbling around with the pipes.) Unbelievable! Why is your family Scottish?!

那不可能是Ross。（她透过窗户看到罗斯在练习，笨手笨脚地摆弄风笛）真不敢相信。为什么你们家族是苏格兰的？

Chandler

Why is your family Ross?!

为什么你们家族有Ross这样的？

Monica

He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! It's not even a song!

他不能在婚礼上演奏。不要呀，那只是噪音！连歌都不算。

Chandler

If you listen very carefully, I think its Celebration by Cool and the Gang.

等等，如果你仔细听得话……我想那是Kool and the Gang写的“庆祝曲”。

Rachel

Hi Pheebs!

嘿，Pheebs！

Phoebe

Hi!

嘿！

Rachel

How are ya?

你好吗？

Phoebe

Good.

很好。

Rachel

Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guy's cell phone?

记得我们在咖啡厅……我们决定了我拿那个帅哥的手机吗？

Phoebe

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?

记得我把它放到我的包里，所以它响的话，我就可以接了吗？

Phoebe

Yeah!

对。

Rachel

And do you remember going into my purse and stealing the phone?!

你有没有记得你打开我的包，把手机偷走之类的事？

Phoebe

Ooh, now you lost me.

哦，我不明白。

Rachel

You stole the phone!

你偷了手机。

Phoebe

No I didn't!

不，我没有。

Rachel

No? So you're saying that if I called it, it wouldn't ring?

那就是说如果我打电话的话，这里不会听到它的铃声咯？

Phoebe

No.

不会。

Rachel

Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebe's bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebe's handbag.)

好吧。在你打电话的时候，我给你看看我的会响的手袋。（瑞秋拨自己的电话，菲比的包开始响）瞧，它响了。（瑞秋抓过手机，从菲比的包里拿出来。）

Rachel

Phoebe!

Phoebe！

Phoebe

That is a different phone.

那是另一个电话。

Rachel

Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guy's phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) It's for me!

哦，是吗？你好。你好。（接帅哥的手机）请问Rachel在吗？（对另一个电话）是的，她在。请等一下。（对菲比，递出两个手机）这是我的！

Phoebe

That is damning evidence.

该死的证据。

(The cute guy's phone rings.)

（帅哥的手机响了。）

Rachel

Oh my God! I bet that's him. My digital fairy tale is about to begin. I wonder how I should be? Should I be uh (In a sexy voice) Hello? Or should I be (Happily) Hi! It's Rach... (Phoebe knocks the phone out of Rachel's hand, catches it, and answers it.) Would you stop doing that?!

哦，天呀，我想是他。我的数字童话就要开始了。我该怎么表现？用性感的声音“喂”，还是开心地“嗨，我是Rach……”（菲比把手机从瑞秋手里打掉，接住并接听）你能不能不要老是这样做？

Phoebe

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, I'm the one who found your phone.

（打电话）喂？（听）是的，我是找到你电话的人。

Rachel

Phoebe! You can't do th...

Phoebe，你不能……

Phoebe

(To Rachel) Shhh! I'm on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. It's umm, it's umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe y'know after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay I'll see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)

（对瑞秋）嘘，我在打电话。（对电话）嗯，你可以今晚来拿，8:30如何？在我的公寓。是Morton街5号，14号公寓。之后，恩，你知道的，我们能不能出去吃点东西或干什么。（听）好的，好的，到时见，拜拜。（挂断）

Rachel

You do know that I will be here when he comes over.

他来的时候我会在这里。

Phoebe

Oh? And how will you know what time to come over?

你怎么知道他来的时间？

Rachel

You just said it!

你刚刚说的。

Phoebe

Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just...be alone y'know to think about my mom and her suicide.

噢。好的，那么－我想单独的待一会儿，你知道，想想我的妈妈和她的自杀事件。

Rachel

Oh Phoebe!

噢，Phoebe！

Phoebe

What?! That's the first time today!

什么？那是今天的第一次！

Rachel

Ohh! (Exits.)

噢！（离开。）

Joey

So you like the nachos uh? Myself I'm partial to...

那么你喜欢nachos，哈？我自己，我是半个……

Dina

(interrupting) I'm 16.

（打断）我十六岁。

Joey

See you in 2003. (She walks away.)

2003年见。（她走开。）

Cecilia

(walking up) You're absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They don't know exactly when it's going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and that's it.

（走过来）你是对的。他们将让我离开剧集。他们不知道具体的时间，但是很快……就会到来。

Joey

I'm so sorry. Look, if it was up to me you would never leave the show.

如果是我来决定，你不应该离开剧集的。

Cecilia

Yeah, thanks.

谢谢。

Joey

No I mean it! I can't believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!

我是认真的。我不敢相信他们这样对你。还有你的影迷。他们会伤透了心。他们是这么喜爱你。

Cecilia

Oh you're right. Thank you! What's your name again?

你是对的。谢谢你。你叫什么名字来着？

Joey

Joey.

Joey。

Cecilia

Joey, well thank you. That is so sweet. Oh, excuse me. (She throws her drink on a passing writer.)

Joey，谢谢。你的安慰真好。哦，对不起。（她把饮料泼在一个路过的编剧身上。）

The Writer

It wasn't my decision!

这不是我决定的！

Cecilia

(to him) I'm having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?

（对他）我正在谈话呢！（对乔伊）你刚才说什么？

Joey

Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-ye---l-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, I'm really nervous about-about being you. Y'know if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Y'know? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?

瞧，我来见你的唯一原因……是因为……我对要成为你很紧张。如果你能帮我抓住角色的精髓……就可以继续让Jessica活下去。Joey，我会帮你的。

Cecilia

All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.

不是因为我欠这个愚蠢的电视剧……而是因为我欠Jessica的。

Joey

Oh that's great! Oh thank you so much!

哦，太感激了。

Cecilia

You're so welcome.

不客气。

Joey

Hey! Now, I've been watching some tapes, how's this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!"

我看过些录像带。这样怎么样？（英国口音）“Jessica Lockhart永远不会再来这里！永远！”

Cecilia

Is that supposed to be me?

那是你演的？

Joey

Yeah.

对。

Cecilia

Yeah but Jessica doesn't have an English accent.

Jessica没有英国口音。

Joey

(shocked) I can do an English accent?! That baby's going on my resume!

（震惊）我可以说英国口音？我的简历里又可以添一笔。

Chandler

Well, I feel like a snack!

嘿，你好吗？

Monica

Do you want some shortbread? Eh that's Scottish like you are.

很好。我想还是要点小吃吧。你想要点短面包吗？是苏格兰的，和你一样。

Chandler

Oh no thanks. I don't like any thing from my Scottish heritage.

不，谢了。我不喜欢和我苏格兰血统有关的东西。

Ross

What?!

什么？

Chandler

Well it's just my entire family was run out of Scotland by...Vikings. Anyway, lots of bad memories. (Makes a few unintelligible noises.)

当我们整个家族被……维京海盗赶出苏格兰之后。总之，很多不愉快的回忆。（含糊不清地嘟囔。）

Ross

Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.

听起来好像你们家族打算寻根呀。

Monica

No! No-no they're not. They're still very angry! But y'know Chandler is also half-Swedish. You know what the Swedish people are famous for? Sitting down and being quiet.

你不能在婚礼上吹风笛！

Ross

Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more...

你们怎么知道的？

Monica

(interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!

我们从我们公寓听到你的吹奏。

Ross

How did you know about that?!

是你们叫的警察？

Chandler

We heard you play all the way from your apartment!

这个现在不重要。

Ross

Were you the ones called the cops?!

重要的是，我们很接受你的好意……

Chandler

That's not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just don't feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.

……我们只是觉得风笛不适合在我们婚礼上吹奏。

Ross

Why not?

为什么？

Chandler

Because we hate them.

因为我们讨厌它。

Ross

Come on that's not fair! I mean you haven't even heard me play!

给我个机会在你们面前表演一下，再由你们决定。

Chandler

We have heard you play.

我不会告诉你们我要演奏什么。

Ross

No, you've heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And I'm not going to tell you what song I'm gonna play either. But uh, let's just say when it's over I'll bet there will be a we bit o' celebration.

当演奏完之后……那会是“庆祝曲”的一段。

Cecilia

So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.

这个角色的精髓所在之处是她的自信。举个例子，当Jessica进到房里……她掌握着房里的一切事物。你试试。

Joey

Okay! (He scurries out the set door and re-enters, extremely impressed) All right!

好的！（他匆忙走出布景门，再进来，非常崇拜地）好的！

Cecilia

No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! He's not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.

不，他已经知道他掌握着房里的一切事物。第一次他还没有表现出来！那么，再试试。

Joey

Okay. Okay. (He goes out and comes back in, glaring at everything.)

好的。（他走出去再进来，怒视着一切。）

Cecilia

Right. He's not angry at the room either. Try it again, he owns it! He owns the room. It is his. He owns, owns, owns, owns the room! He owns it!! (Joey gets a snooty look on his face.) All right, it's a little weird, but it's getting better. (Joey is pleased.) Oh well, I'm gonna miss this woman so much. I don't know what I'm going to do! I mean, it's been 20 years of my life.

他不是对房子生气。再试试，他掌握着，他掌握着一切。一切都是他的。他掌握着！（乔伊露出傲慢的表情）有点古怪，但是有提高。（乔伊很高兴）我会想念这个女人的。我不知道我将来该干什么。这是我生命中的20年呀。

Joey

Oh well---Hey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Y'know? It'll-it'll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. You're so talented.

嘿，也许这是好事。这给你一个机会重新开始，扮演不同的角色。你是这么有天赋。

Cecilia

I am. I am, but I don't know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.

是的，是的．但是我不知道你是否了解。扮演某个年龄的角色不是那样容易的。

Joey

Hey that's not true! Look at uh, look at Angela Lansb---Angelina Jolie!

嘿，不是那样的，瞧瞧Angela Lansb——Angelina Jolie！

Cecilia

I probably should've just left years ago when the offers were pouring in, but y'know I just got so comfy here! And... Ohh, I turned down some amazing work!

也许我几年前，在有传言的时候就该离去了……但是我当时刚刚在这里感到满意……我拒绝了些很不错的工作。

Joey

Like-like what?

比如什么？

Cecilia

Well, let's just say if I left 15 years ago, the landscape of Mexican cinema would be very different today!

好吧，假设15年前我就离去……今天，墨西哥电影院里放映的就会完全不同的。

Joey

(impressed) Wow!

（印象深刻）哇哦。

Cecilia

But... Well now, now's a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)

但是现在，已经是不同的时期了。（开始哭）

Joey

Oh hey come on, don't-don't-don't do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, I'm thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (She's not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"

嘿，不要这样子。我来告诉你些事情？当我在看你拍摄的时候，我在想她真是一位伟大的女演员。（她不信）同时我也在想，“她真性感。”

Cecilia

(intrigued) You think I'm hot?

（感兴趣）你觉得我性感？

Joey

You own the room. (She smiles and stares longingly into his eyes.) We should probably get-get uh...

你掌握着一切。我们也许该……

Cecilia

Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the... (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the man's face. (She does so.)

是呀，我们也许该……（停顿）当Jessica吻一个男人的时候，她通常会把……她的双手放在那个男人的脸上。（她这样做。）

Joey

Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that 'cause she's so passionate?

我注意到了。是因为她很充满热情？

Cecilia

No! It's because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?

不，是因为这样做的话，镜头里就只能看到她。你想试下吗？

Joey

Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)

好的。（他把手放在她脸上，他们接吻。）

Cecilia

That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like... (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)

做的不错，做的很不错。但我想你的手可能，应该稍微放下来点。他们应该……（她抓住他的后颈，热情地吻他，两人倒在沙发上。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Hey! Hey!

嘿！嘿！

(There is a knock on the door.)

（有人敲门。）

Phoebe and Rachel

(simultaneously) Who is it?

（同时）是谁？

Guy

Hi! It's Tom, I'm here to pick up the phone.

嗨！我是Tom，我来拿我的电话。

(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)

（瑞秋兴奋地跳起来走向门口。）

Phoebe

Whoa! Why do you get to answer the door?

哇哦！你为什么要应门？

Rachel

Well why shouldn't I?!

为什么我不行？

Phoebe

Because it's my apartment!

因为这是我的公寓。

Rachel

Well, then I get to give him the cell phone.

那就由我给他电话。

Phoebe

Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.

好吧，祝你好运，慢慢解释下打到中国的电话。

(Phoebe opens the door and Tom, an older gentleman with white hair, enters.)

（菲比开门，一个白发的老绅士Tom进来。）

Tom

Hi!

嘿。

Phoebe

(To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?

（对瑞秋）哇哦，我们争论了多久？

Rachel

(laughs) You're not the man who left the cell phone.

（笑）你不是那个丢手机的人呀。

Tom

No that's my assistant.

不，他是我的助手。

Rachel

Is-is he coming? (Looks hopefully out the door.)

他会来吗？（满怀希望地往门外看。）

Tom

Umm, no.

嗯，不。

Phoebe

Could you-could you umm, give us one second?

你能不能稍微等一下？

Tom

Sure!

好的。

Rachel

We'll be right back sir.

我们就回来，先生。

Tom

Sure.

好的。

(They walk into the living room.)

（她们走进客厅。）

Phoebe

Wh-what do we do?

我们该怎么做？

Rachel

I don't know!

我不知道。

Phoebe

Can you believe this? (Rachel exhales in amazement.) We were waiting for a hot guy and then an even hotter one shows up!

你能相信吗？（瑞秋惊讶地呼气）我们在等一个性感的人来，结果出现一个更性感的。

Rachel

I know! (Realizes what Phoebe said.) What?!

我明白——（意识到菲比说了什么）什么？

Phoebe

Hmm, they just don't make 'em like that anymore!

我只是……

Rachel

(turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.

（转身又看Tom）不，会有的，但得等。

Phoebe

Rachel, listen---I mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.

Rachel，听我说……如果你让我和他约会，我真的欠你一个人情。

Rachel

(fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!

（假装失望）好吧，我让你和他约会。但是你欠我一个很大的人情。

Phoebe

Yeah! You're such a great friend!

耶！你真是个哥们！

Rachel

Ohh...

噢……

Tom

So, which one of you lovely ladies am I going to take to dinner huh?

你们中哪一位和我出去吃晚餐？

Phoebe

Oh that'd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.

是我，先生。（递给他手机）您先请。

Tom

Okay. Okay. (Exits and Phoebe checks him out.)

好的。（离开，菲比目送他。）

Phoebe

(whispering) Nice!

（小声）真棒。

Cecilia

Well, you certainly own that room.

好了，你现在完全掌握那个地方了。

Joey

Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.

事实上，我租了这套房子。我明白你的意思了，谢谢。

(She laughs as Rachel enters.)

（她笑着，瑞秋进来。）

Rachel

Hi.

嗨。

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)

（瑞秋看到乔伊和谁在一起时，愣住了。）

Rachel

Oh my God! Oh my God!! Ohh, Jessica Lockhart!! In my apartment!! I am such a huge fan! I am such a huge fan!

哦，Jessica Lockhart！在我的公寓里！我是你的忠实影迷！

Cecilia

Well, it's nice to know that you...

很高兴知道——

Rachel

(screaming) MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!! (Runs to Monica's.)

（尖叫）MONICA!!!! MONICA!!!!（跑向莫妮卡的公寓。）

Joey

That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.

那是我的室友Rachel。

Cecilia

Oh that explains all the women's underwear.

哦，这就解释为什么有女式内衣了。

Joey

(shrugs) Sure. Yep.

（耸肩）当然。

Monica

(entering with Rachel) Oh my God! It's true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?

（和瑞秋进来）天呀，这是真的！天呀，你是这么棒。天呀，你能不能赏脸下？

Cecilia

Certainly.

当然。

Monica

Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)

你能不能扇我一耳光？

Cecilia

I'd love to, but my lawyer said I can't do that anymore.

我很乐意，但是我律师说我不能再这么做了。

Rachel

God. You seem really, really nice.

好了，走吧。

Joey

Okay, bye-bye.

不，再等等。

Rachel

I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.

你是个愚蠢的贱人。

Joey

All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)

我真的不能扇你。

Rachel

Okay.

天呀，你是这么棒。

Monica

(breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, you're a stupid bitch.

（挣脱）谢谢你们的过路访问。

Cecilia

I really can't slap you. (Monica walks away angrily)

我很抱歉。

Rachel

You are so beautiful.

不。

Monica

Nice to meet you! My God you're great!

被人崇拜着，我经常碰到这样的事。

Joey

Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I...

不用担心。

Cecilia

Oh no-no-no-no, being adored. I'm used to it, don't worry about it.

天那。

Joey

(notices something in the mail that Rachel brought in) Oh my God!

（注意到瑞秋带进来的邮件中的东西）哦，天哪。

Cecilia

What?

什么？

Joey

They sent me today's script! They never send the script!

他们给我送了今天的剧本！他们从没有给我送过剧本。

Cecilia

They don't?

他们没有？

Joey

Well no, I'm just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh...

我在昏迷中呀。这就意味着我有台词了。噢。

Cecilia

How does it happen?

是怎么发生那件事的？

Joey

(flipping to the last page) Ew, you get thrown from a horse into an electric fence.

（翻到最后一页）呃，你从马上摔下，撞到电网。

Cecilia

Ah what?! Jessica hates horses!

什么？Jessica不喜欢马。

Joey

Yeah well, I'm guessing after this she's not going to be crazy about electricity either.

这之后她也不会喜欢电的。

Ross

...now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.

现在，记住，你们要想象着我穿着苏格兰短裙。

Rachel

(giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.

（咯咯笑）（对罗斯）我能够想象的出来你穿苏格兰短裙和长筒袜的样子。

Ross

(To Rachel) Do you wanna start telling secrets?

（对瑞秋）你现在想开始告诉我们秘密了吗？

Rachel

No!

不。

Ross

(stands up) Now umm, remember I'm still learning.

（站起来）现在，恩，记得我一直在学。

(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)

（他准备开始时发出几声可怕的噪音，把瑞秋吓得退后。）

Ross

One, two, three, four!

1，2，3，4！

(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)

（他开始吹。好吧，《庆祝》从来就不是为风笛写的曲子，所以即使世界上最好的风笛手也很难吹好这首歌。当然，对于罗斯这样的初学者来说，听起来简直糟透了。除了菲比，在座的所有人都吓坏了。菲比似乎对糟糕的音乐免疫，还挺享受。）

Ross

You know the song! Sing along!

你们知道这首歌，一起唱呀！

(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out E's in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)

（罗斯继续吹，这次菲比配合他尖叫着发出“E”的声音。菲比在跟唱的时候，瑞秋很难保持严肃的表情。幸好罗斯过了一会儿就放弃了。）

Ross

So?

怎么样？

Monica and Chandler

No!

不行！

(Ross throws the bagpipes down in disgust.)

（罗斯厌恶地把风笛扔在地上。）

Dina

Loosening the saddle on mother's horse was brilliant Fredrick. And the electric fence, inspired.

松开妈妈的马的缰绳真是聪明呀，Fredrick。还有电网，真是机灵呀。

Fredrick

Thank you sweetheart. (They clink glasses.)

谢谢你，小甜心。（他们碰杯。）

Dina

I can't believe she's really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; they're stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)

我还不敢相信她真的死了。瞧我们周围，一切都是我们的。（他们正要接吻，被头上缠着大绷带进来的乔伊打断。）

Joey

(as Jessica) I don't think so.

（扮演杰西卡）我不这么认为。

Dina

Who are you?!

你是谁？

Jessica Lockhart

What's the matter Dina? Don't you recognize your own (Does a hair flip) mother?!

（甩头发）妈妈吗？

The Director

Cut! That was great everybody! Thank you!

停！演得不错，各位。谢谢！

Cecilia

(running out to Joey) That was so wonderful! (Hugs him) Ohh, I think that you're a better Jessica than I ever was!

（跑向乔伊）演得真不错！（拥抱他）哦，我认为你演的Jessica比我还好。

Joey

Oh noo...

噢，不是的。

Cecilia

Well of course not, but you were very good.

当然不错，但是你演得不错。

Joey

Thanks!

谢谢。

Cecilia

And guess what? Good news! I got another job!

好消息。我得到另一份工作了。

Joey

Great! Hey! All right! Well-well what is it?!

真好！是什么？

Cecilia

A film in Guadalajara!

在Guadalajara拍的一部电影。

Joey

The airport?

是机场？

Cecilia

No that's La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.

不，那是LaGuardia。（乔伊会意地点头）是在墨西哥。

Joey

Ohh. Wow! Well how-how, how will you be gone?

噢，哇哦。那么，你要去多久？

Cecilia

Eight months.

8个月。

Joey

That's a really long time.

是很长的一段时间呀。

Cecilia

Yeah, but you can come and visit me. I bet that you could uh, own a few places down there.

是的，但是你可以来看我。我到时可以掌握某些地方。

Joey

Well I tell ya, I should probably buy a place in the city first. (Realizes.) And I just got what you meant again---That is---I tell ya, that is a tricky one!

是呀，我也许应该先在那里买套房子。（意识到）我明白你的意思了。这真的是很狡猾。

Cecilia

That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. You've, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.

是很狡猾。祝你好运。

Joey

Good luck.

你也是。

Cecilia

You too.

你们知道这首歌，一起唱呀！

(They kiss and both put their hands on the other's face like Jessica would do.)

（他们接吻，两人都把手放在对方的脸上，就像杰西卡会做的那样。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

You know the song! Sing along!

你们知道这首歌，一起唱呀！

Phoebe

Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!

Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!

(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)

（莫妮卡（柯特妮·考克斯）和钱德（马修·派瑞）在笑。这导致丽莎和詹妮弗也笑场，开始歇斯底里地大笑。最后大卫·休默也笑场了。马修现在也开始跟着唱。）

Matthew Perry

Eee!! (This causes more laughter.)

Eee！！（这引发了更多笑声。）

Lisa Kudrow

Do it again!

再来一次！

(Matthew mimics the sound again.)

（马修又模仿了一遍那个声音。）

End

结束