The One Where They All Turn Thirty

Ross

Happy birthday!!!

生日快乐!!!

Monica

Happy birthday!!!

生日快乐!!!

(Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)

（瑞秋瞪了他们一眼，回到自己房间，关上门。）

All

Rach! Come on! Rach!

瑞秋！出来！瑞秋！

Monica

It's your birthday!

来过生日咯！

Tag

(entering from her room) Hey.

Tag：（从她房间出来）嘿。

Chandler

(To Monica) She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29.

（对莫妮卡）她比去年漂亮了！

Tag

Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you don't use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)

Tag：林女士出来之前，有几点声明。若能避免“老”、“走下坡路”或者“它们看来依然坚挺”之类的说法，她将感激不尽。

Joey

They do!

本来就是嘛!

Phoebe

Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!

瑞秋! 出来吧! 莫妮做的早餐！

Monica

Chocolate-chip pancakes!

巧克力脆皮饼!

(There is no response from Rachel.)

（瑞秋没有回应。）

Ross

We've got presents!

有礼物给你!

(She opens the door.)

（她打开门。）

Rachel

Good ones?

送我好东西？

Monica

They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.

都是遵照你两周前给我们开的单子买的。

Rachel

Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?

收下礼物、还是29岁，行吗？

Joey

Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.

得了，瑞秋，30岁没那么可怕。

Ross

Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?

是吗？你满30岁那天也这么豁达？

Joey

(screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebe's lap for comfort.)

（尖叫）上帝？! 为什么！！我们说好的！让别人变老，放过我！（他把头埋在菲比腿上寻求安慰。）

Rachel

Y'know, I'm still 29 in Guam.

你知道吗，在关岛我还是29岁。

Ross

Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?

嘿，30岁没那么老！你知道地球多老吗？

Rachel

Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?

快四十？得了，你们说说看，是不是只有我才反应过激？

Chandler

No Rach, it's not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn't that much fun.

不单是你，我的30岁生日也够戗。

Joey

(screaming) And now Chandler! We're all gettin' so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)

（尖叫）现在轮到钱德！我们都这么老了！（抬头）为什么这样整我们？！（转过身哭。）

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

Rach, you're in a great place in your life. Come on, you've got a great job! Good friends...

瑞秋，老天对你不薄。工作称心，朋友亲密……

Joey

Yeah, you're roommate is a soap opera star.

对，室友还是肥皂剧明星！

Rachel

Look, y'know I know my life's going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who've accomplished so many other goals by the time they're thirty.

我明白，我的生活一帆风顺，但是看看周围，那么多人在30岁前得偿所愿。

Phoebe

Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me.

对，但你不该拿自己和我比。

All

Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!

加油菲比！你能行菲比！加油！

Rachel

There you go!

加油！胜利了！

(She crosses the line and they all cheer again.)

（她冲过线，大家再次欢呼。）

Phoebe

I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! That's it!! That's everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)

我成功了！骑行弹力球一英里！30岁前，心想事成了！没有遗憾。不过我还想和姐姐修好。不过，耶~！！（大家再次欢呼。）姑娘们，这玩意儿真是天赐宝物，懂我意思吗？（瑞秋和莫妮卡好奇地看着，大家走进中央珀克咖啡馆时，瑞秋捡起菲比留下的弹力球。）

Rachel

Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!

30岁。天啊，30岁！莫妮卡，你还记得五年级那个刻薄的老克里格太太吗？她才30岁！

Tag

Come on, let's have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?

Tag：别这样，咱们乐一乐。今天想玩什么？

Rachel

Nothing. I don't want to do anything.

（~

Monica

Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.

30岁生日啥都不干，也胜过像罗斯那样干蠢事。

Ross

Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!

住口！我买的实用品！我买车代步！懂吗？接送孩子！

Ross

How hot do I look in this, huh?!

我看来帅吧！

Chandler

Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?

罗斯，跑车？要好看可以在鞋里垫双袜子，那样不是省钱一些？

Ross

That's not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.

我不是图好看！我一直迷跑车，蓄谋已久要买车。

Joey

Hey, what's the horsepower on this thing?

嘿，这宝贝多大马力？

Ross

(giddy) I don't know, but-but look how shiny!

（兴奋地）不晓得，但它多炫！

Monica

I can't believe you bought this.

真不敢相信你居然买跑车。

Rachel

Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know it's really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.

天啊罗斯，你怎么想的？（小声对菲比）我知道这很肤浅，但我有点想再要他了。

Phoebe

Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?

哦，那排队吧小姐。（对罗斯）能搭个顺风车吗？

Ross

Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.

上来。准备好享受你生命中最平稳的 ride 吧。

(He starts the car and surprisingly it fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. He's completely boxed in and can't move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)

（他发动汽车，竟然一下子就发动了，怠速也很平稳（这对英国跑车和它们可爱的卢卡斯点火系统来说都很少见，尤其是雨天）。不管怎样，这是在纽约，他平行停在街上，前面的车离他的保险杠只有几英寸，后面的车也一样。他被完全卡住了，只能移动两英寸。他几次试图通过碰撞前后车的保险杠开出来，都没成功。）

Ross

Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)

见鬼！（关掉引擎。）

Phoebe

(getting out) Okay, who's next?

（下车）好，接下来谁坐？

Rachel

Y'know what? I am going to do something today. I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I'm gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.

知道吗？我今天有计划了。我要像老太婆一样闲坐穿洞玩。给鼻子和舌头穿个洞什么的。

Phoebe

Really?! 'Cause y'know that hurts.

当真？！很痛哦。

Rachel

So what?! Y'know what? The way I see it---(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)---Ow! Son of a bitch!!

不怕！我是说------（菲比从她脑后拔下一根头发）——呕！贱人！

Tag

Look Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning 25.

Tag：瑞秋，我完全了解你的感受。我要过25岁生日了，多可怕。

Rachel

(glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.

（瞪着他）请你出去，滚出我的家。

Monica

All right Rach, for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great. I mean y'know let's face it, no one handles this well.

瑞秋，不管怎样，你还算坚强。平心而论，谁过30岁生日不慌张？

Phoebe

Least of all you.

以你为首。

Tag

Why? What you'd do?

Tag：为什么？你做了什么？

Monica

Weren't you asked to leave sonny?

戴回去好吗?!

Chandler

(To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monica's gonna be here any minute!

（对乔伊）把它戴回去！莫妮随时可能回家！

Joey

But it hurt's my Joey's Apple.

它弄痛“乔伊结”了。

Chandler

(frustrated) Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man.

（沮丧地）最后一次告诉你，那叫喉结。

(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)

（乔伊走开，盖勒先生和夫人走过来。盖勒先生穿着那件古老的天鹅绒晚礼服。）

Mrs. Geller

(To Chandler) You've done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.

（对钱德）派对真棒，钱德。样样东西都好可爱。

Chandler

Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I can't believe that you would have a tux that's thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Geller's shoulder.)

比不上您可爱。您竟有30岁的女儿，匪夷所思！（对盖勒先生）还有您！竟有一件30岁高龄的晚礼服！（把手搭在盖勒先生肩上。）

Mr. Geller

It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.

还不止呢。怀上罗斯那次，就有这件礼服作见证。

Chandler

Ohh! (He quickly removes his hand and looks at it.)

哦!（他迅速缩回手，看着它。）

Rachel

(entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! She's coming!

（进来）嘿！快躲起来！我看见她了！她回来了！

Chandler

Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)

好！好！蹲下！蹲下！（瑞秋关掉灯，大家都蹲下。蹲下时，人群中发出一声撕裂声。）

Mr. Geller

Crap.

见鬼。

(We hear some fumbling at the door, then silence.)

（我们听到门口摸索的声音，然后安静下来。）

Chandler

(getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on.

（起身去查看）你们别动，我去侦察一下。

(He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachel's door.)

（他走到走廊，发现醉醺醺的莫妮卡靠在乔伊和瑞秋的门上。）

Monica

Heyyy!! You got the door open!! (Giggles.)

嘿！你开门啦！（咯咯笑。）

Chandler

Hey-hey are you drunk?

嘿，你喝醉了？

Monica

Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joey's doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!

没有！（咯咯笑）好吧。（她试图抓住瑞秋和乔伊的门把手把自己拉起来，但门开了，她差点摔进他们的公寓。她设法稳住了自己。）哇！（摇摇晃晃地站起来）好吧。我，我有点紧张，因为要满（耳语）30岁了。（咯咯笑）所以侍者的助手就带我去喝了几杯。（停顿）呆会吐你一身！

Chandler

Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!

听好，我们在家给你准备了相当正式的生日惊喜派对！亲友都在里边！包括你爸妈！

Monica

Noo!!!

不会吧!!!

Chandler

Yes!

真的!

Monica

Noo!!

不!!

Chandler

Yes!!

真的!!

Monica

Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.

父母从没见过我喝醉!（停顿）当然他们有所耳闻。

Chandler

Okay, here's the thing. We're gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk.

有办法了。你喝杯咖啡醒醒酒，你喝醉的事就会神不知鬼不觉。

Monica

Really?! You promise?

真的？！你发誓？

Chandler

Yeah, I'll take care of it.

我来帮你瞒天过海。

Monica

Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)

我好爱你。（吻他。）

Chandler

(laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.

（笑）你满嘴酒气，我们得想个招敷衍过去。

Monica

What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)

你还不是一样！（朝他哈气。）

Chandler

That's still yours. Okay, now remember it's a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.

气味是你嘴里来的。记住，惊喜派对，进去以后做吃惊状。

Monica

Okay. I can do that.

懂了。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

(Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)

（钱德开门，莫妮卡悄悄靠近。他们进去。）

All

Surprise!!!

惊喜吗!!!

(Monica screams and they all stare at her.)

（莫妮卡尖叫，大家都盯着她。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Ross

Okay, forward. Forward---Stop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, back---Stop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forward---Stop! Stop! Stop!

倒车！停！前进！停！

Monica

Ross, just forget about it. This guy's got you totally wedged in.

罗斯，算了吧。你被卡死了。

(A beautiful woman approaches.)

（一位美女走过来。）

Woman

(To Joey) Is this yours?

（对乔伊）这是你的吗？

Joey

Well actually...

其实……

Ross

No-no-no! It's mine! It's-it's mine. (The woman walks away.)

不-不-不！是我的！是我的。（女人走开。）

Joey

Dude, you soooo need this car.

老兄，你真需要这辆车。

Phoebe

(running up) Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)

（跑过来）我有高招了。我把这辆车放空档，你们在这车后推一把，罗斯就能突围了。好，开始。（她打开外套，露出偷车贼用来撬车的工具，罗斯跳进驾驶座。她把工具插进去，开了锁，拉开门，警报响了。）快闪!!!!（跑开。）

(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross who's tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)

（其他人都跑了，只有罗斯被困在车里。为了躲藏，他升起车顶，莫妮卡、瑞秋和乔伊跑过。）

Phoebe

Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) It's for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!

30岁生日快乐！给！献给你的童心，献给你的女人心。30岁快乐！

Ursula

Right, why do you keep saying that?

你翻来覆去是什么意思？

Phoebe

Because it's our thirtieth birthday.

我们过30岁生日啊。

Ursula

Yeah, no we're not thirty. We're 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)

非也，我们31岁。（她关上门。）

Phoebe

Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)

等等！（敲门，厄休拉开门。）

Ursula

Oh, it's you.

哦，是你啊。

Phoebe

Yeah. What?!

对，你说什么？!

Ursula

Yeah, we're not thirty, we're 31.

我们不是30岁，31岁了。

Phoebe

Nu-uh!

不-啊!

Ursula

Yea-huh! That's what is says on my birth certificate.

是-啊!我的出生证上写得明白。

Phoebe

You have your birth certificate?

你有出生证？

Ursula

Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.

我妈死的时候，留了一大盒家什给我。

Phoebe

Our mom.

我们的妈妈。

Ursula

(sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)

（讽刺地）对对对!（把出生证递给菲比。）

Phoebe

Do you have my birth certificate?

有我的出生证吗？

Ursula

No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.

卖给瑞典逃犯了。

Phoebe

(reading the certificate) Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.

（读出生证）天啊！我们31岁了。

Ursula

Yeah.

对。

Phoebe

I just lost a whole year of my life.

我的生命，整整损失了一年。

Ursula

(sarcastic) Okay.

（讽刺地）算是吧。

Phoebe

Your middle name is Pamela?

你的中间名叫Pamela?

Ursula

Yes.

对。

Phoebe

Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?

我的呢？记得吗？

Ursula

Yes! Phoebe.

记得！“菲比”

Phoebe

That's my first name.

“菲比”是我的名。

Ursula

Right, okay, then no.

好吧，那我忘了。

Chandler

Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.

好，庆祝开始前，莫妮卡得换上派对礼服。

Monica

Yay!

好！

Chandler

See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller who's sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller who's standing next to him.)

（发出笑声）走吧。（开始扶她走向他们的房间，必须经过坐在桌旁的盖勒先生和站在他旁边的盖勒夫人。）

Mr. Geller

Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)

生日快乐，亲爱的！抱一个！（准备站起来。）

Mrs. Geller

(stopping him) Don't get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.

（拦住他）别起来杰克！别针快撑不住了。

(They continue their trek.)

（他们继续走。）

Monica

(sees someone) Paul!

（看见某人）保罗！

Chandler

(correcting her) Phil.

（纠正她）菲尔。

Monica

Phil!

菲尔！

Chandler

Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) you're doing great. You're doing great. You're doing fine.

床上有件礼服。（莫妮卡在台阶上绊了一下）好吧，（扶住她）你表现很好，没有失态。

(Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)

（他们快到房间时，菲比走过来。）

Phoebe

Hey, what's going on?

怎么了？

Chandler

Monica's a little drunk.

莫妮有点醉。

Phoebe

Yay! I love drunk Monica!

我喜欢莫妮喝醉的样儿!

Monica

Awwwww... (Giggles.)

噢……（咯咯笑。）

Chandler

(To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk.

（对莫妮卡）换衣服！（对菲比）她不想让父母察觉。

Phoebe

Ohh! All right! All right. Here's what we'll do, I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's will even notice her.

那好办。只要我喝得烂醉，比莫妮还失态，大家就不会注意到她了。

(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)

（钱德走向其他人。）

Rachel

What's-what's going on? Phil's really pissed!

怎么了？菲尔很生气！

Chandler

Monica's wasted.

莫妮烂醉如泥。

Ross

Maybe that will liven up this party.

这样也许派对会更有趣。

Chandler

(To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!

（对瑞秋）去帮她换衣服！

Rachel

Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.

照顾醉裸女，不是一向都由乔伊出马？

Joey

Yep. (Starts for Monica's room, but Chandler stops him.)

对。（走向莫妮卡的房间，但钱德拦住他。）

Tag

(handing his to her) This one's from me.

Tag：（递给她）这是我送的。

Rachel

Ahh!

啊!

Tag

It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.

Tag：没按单子买，希望你喜欢。

Rachel

(opening it) A scooter! (She's not happy.)

（打开）单脚滑行车!（她不高兴。）

Ross

(to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.

（对Tag）千万要照单子买，不要自做主张。

Rachel

No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)

不！我喜欢呢！谢谢。（吻他。）

Chandler

Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!

接下来是我们送的！

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Joey

Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys?

你们结婚以后就可以只送一份礼物？

Chandler

For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!

你呢？上次我生日，你送我一个拥抱！（对瑞秋）快看卡片上的祝词！

Rachel

Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! It's better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) That's funny, yeah!

好。（打开卡片读）生日快乐、奶奶！过了高峰（超过30岁）总比葬身山脚好。（开始哭）（大家瞪着他们）爱你的：莫妮和钱德。（哭）好有趣。

Chandler

No-no-no-no! That was the joke!

别哭！是笑话！

Rachel

(crying) No, I know! I get it! It's funny!

（哭）我知道！我看明白了，所以说有趣！

Chandler

No, because you're not a grandmother!

好笑的地方是，你并非祖母。

Rachel

No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)

对啊，要当祖母，必须结婚生子，而我根本不沾边。所以有趣。（哭着跑进房间。）

Monica

All you had to do was buy the card!

就让你买张卡还这么多事！

Ross

Hey! Look who's back! It's the birthday girl! How's the birthday girl feeling?

嘿！看谁回来了！是寿星！寿星感觉怎么样？

Rachel

Well, I feel fine, but I think you're bumming out the rest of the kids.

我很好，不过我觉得你让其他人很沮丧。

Ross

What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)

什么？（瞥了一眼其他人，然后走过去坐下。）

Rachel

Okay! Y'know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids...

好！做决定了。因为没有丈夫和孩子就沮丧，我真笨。我只需要拟个计划。我打算要三个孩子……

Phoebe

Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.

我猜，你是想一次生三个，而且给你弟弟生对吧？

Rachel

As I was saying... I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!

也就是说，35岁前我要有第一个孩子，所以我还有5年时间。我爱这个计划！我要嫁给这个计划！

Phoebe

If you could do that, I'd marry the hippity-hop.

如果真能那样，我就嫁给那个弹力球。

Rachel

So, if I wanna have my kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant...

如果35岁前要有孩子，34岁前一定要怀孕。Prada有四年时间帮我准备孕妇装！但是，我希望在怀孕时至少已结婚一年。

Monica

Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, it's happening!

当真？这么久？（钱德慢慢转头看她）（对钱德）你的心愿，在我们身上应验了！

Rachel

No, so I don't have to get married until I'm 33! That's three years, that's three whole years---Oh, wait a minute though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I'd like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged... Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm thirty.

所以我33岁结婚也来得及。还有三年，整三年。不对，我需要一年半筹备婚礼，订婚前，我还需要对男方有一年或一年半时间的了解。所以我得在30岁之前碰见我的未婚夫！

Ross

Which is fine! Because you just turned---(Removes two candles from the cake)---twenty-eight!

那没问题！因为你刚满28岁！

Rachel

No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!

不! 罗斯！问题大了！根据计划，我现在应该同我的未婚夫在一起了！

(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)

（我们听到Tag在走廊里尖叫，然后他骑着滑板车跳进敞开的门。他对大家竖起大拇指，骑车离开，乔伊气喘吁吁地跟在后面。）

Joey

Will you quit hoggin' it!

该我了!

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

(To Chandler) I'm telling you it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk.

（对钱德）她好象小鹿Bambi学走路哦。

Ross

(To Monica) You're drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe I'm a little drunk.

（对莫妮卡）你醉了! 妈妈、爸爸一定会大发雷霆。我好象也有醉意。

(Monica sits down on the barca lounger.)

（莫妮卡在躺椅上坐下。）

Chandler

(to a waiter) Oh that's great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.

（对服务员）好极了！就放那儿！能给我们端一点过来吗？（服务员过来）好了。

Joey

(to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?

（对服务员）嘿！那是蟹饼吗？（服务员点头）我不是打过招呼，蟹饼好了直接端给我？

Chandler

(To Monica) How are you feeling?

（对莫妮卡）好点了？

Monica

You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)

你真帅！我现在、就想和你、在这里、做爱。（咆哮着把他拉过来亲吻。）

Ross

I really wish that you wouldn't.

我真的希望你不要这样。

Chandler

(To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone.

（对莫妮卡）再撑一下子，好吗？然后我就抱你上床睡。保持微笑，免开尊口。

Phoebe

(clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Let's hear from the birthday girl! Huh?

（碰杯）说两句！说两句！请生日女郎说两句！

Chandler

Pheebs!!

菲菲!!

Phoebe

Don't you see? Everyone's looking at me! The plan's working! I didn't even have to take off my top yet!

看见吗？我成了焦点！阴谋得逞！我连上衣还没脱呢，就吸引了目光！

Mrs. Geller

Speech! Come on Monica!

说两句！莫妮！

Ross

Come on!

说两句！

All

Come on! Speech!

说两句！莫妮！

(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)

（莫妮卡站起来，微微摇晃，钱德跑过去扶住她。）

Mr. Geller

(filming this) Hey Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second!

（摄像）嘿钱德，你对她真是爱不释手呢。

Mrs. Geller

Oh-ho, I think it's nice.

这很甜蜜。

Chandler

I think it's necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)

这很必要。（还是退开了。）

Monica

I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends...

感谢大家前来。各位亲朋好友……

Phoebe

(screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!

（尖叫）哇!!喔！

Monica

I really like to say that I'm-um... (Pause) Y'know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) That's right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dad's hands.) And guess what! I've been drunk before! And I've smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! It's all okay. It's okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)

我真想说……（停顿）知道我真想说什么吗？我醉了!!（盖勒夫人把摄像机放低）爸、妈，我不再是乖乖女！（罗斯从爸爸手里抢过摄像机）而且!我以前就大醉过！还吸过一支烟！内衣抽屉里还藏着一盒蛋糕！一切都理所当然，因为我今天满30岁了！我可以为所欲为，我是成年人了！（摔倒了，罗斯拍下了摔倒的过程。）

Phoebe

(To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)

（对乔伊）快帮我脱上衣!

Joey

Yeah!!

好!!

(Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)

（罗斯把摄像机转向菲比。）

Phoebe

I lost a whole year! I can't believe it! This is so unfair!

我损失了整整一年！我不信！这太不公平！

Joey

Oh, I don't know Pheebs. It'll be okay.

菲菲，其实没什么大不了。

Phoebe

Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?

是吗？若你发现你31了，你作何感想？

Joey

That's not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!

不可能。我和上帝有了新约定。

Phoebe

Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I...I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!

我的计划全毁了。31岁前的心愿，一样都没达成。

Joey

Like what?

例如？

Phoebe

Like okay I-I-I, I haven't met any Portuguese people! I, I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper's school!

例如没遇见过葡萄牙人，也没有完美之吻，也没有上过狙击手培训班！

Monica

Phoebe, y'know why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?

菲比，上楼吃蛋糕好吧？

Phoebe

No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)

我想单独呆一会。好吗？再见，谢谢你们。（起身离开。）

Rachel

Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.

（她走后）嘿。菲菲好可怜。

Joey

Hey, y'know what you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)

嘿，我有个主意。我去送送她。（起身跑出去。）

Monica

Oh man!

哦天!

Chandler

What?

什么？

Monica

He's gonna eat the cake!

他是奔着蛋糕去的！

Joey

Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list.

菲菲! 等等我!（她停下）闭上双眼。（她照做，乔伊热情地吻她。）你的心愿清单上，可以划掉一条了？

Phoebe

Oh yeah.

是。

(Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)

（乔伊走开，但停下。）

Joey

Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese.

另外我有1/16葡萄牙血统哦。

Phoebe

Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)

哦!（菲比微笑着走开。）

Ross

Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up...and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car...and slide it out. Lift and slide!

都清楚了？我们把它抬起来，并移动。要有团队精神，懂吗？抬起车来，并滑出去。抬和滑！

Rachel

Ross, I really don't think...

罗斯，我觉得……

Ross

(interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!

（打断她）抬！和滑！

Chandler

Okay, here we go.

好，开始。

Ross

All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesn't raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)

各就各位，抬！（他们试着抬车，当然抬不起来）滑出去！（大家都倾斜身体，但车还是没动。）

Rachel

Hey Joey, can I...

嘿乔伊，我能……

Joey

Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!

别打岔！刚轮到我！

Rachel

Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.

我想和Tag谈谈。

Joey

Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?

好吧。我到外面玩可以吗？

Rachel

Whatever! Okay, I'm not your mother.

随你便，我又不是你妈。

Joey

Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)

好!（跑下楼。）

Rachel

Not in the street!!

别上街滑！

Joey

Yes!

好!

Rachel

(to Tag) Hi.

（对Tag）嘿。

Tag

Hey.

Tag：嘿。

Rachel

Hey.

嘿。

Tag

How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?

Tag：感觉好点吗？

Rachel

Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm um...let's talk.

我很好。咱们谈谈。

Tag

Okay. (They sit on the step.)

Tag：好。（他们在台阶上坐下。）

Rachel

Umm...

恩……

Tag

What's up?

Tag：怎么了？

Rachel

Ohh Tag, umm...you're such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I don't-I don't...

Tag，你是个好男人，我们一起很开心，但我不能……

Tag

Wait! I think I see where you're going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? (Kisses her.)

Tag：等一下！我明白你意思了。在你宣判之前，能不能让我说两句？（吻她。）

Rachel

Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think I'm past the point where I think I can y'know, just have fun.

说得很好。我们那么开心，有吻为证。不过我已经过了开心就好的阶段了。

Tag

Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning thirty.

Tag：瑞秋，别急着决定。都是30岁生日闹得。

Rachel

Yeah, it is! But you're just a kid! I mean you're 25!

就是! 而你还是个孩子！你才25。

Tag

Twenty-four actually.

Tag：实际是24。

Rachel

Oh God! Y'know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if I'm wishin' for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.

天啊! 生日愿望？我希望你能大六岁。假如真要许愿，我倒希望我能年轻六岁。

Tag

Me too.

Tag：同感。

Rachel

Yeah, I'm sorry. (They hug.)

抱歉。（拥抱。）

Chandler

Hey! How'd it go?

嘿！结束了？

Rachel

Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?

如果只要两个孩子，能不能把Tag再留一年？

Phoebe

You did the right thing.

你的决定没错。

Joey

(entering, limping, and holding his arm) I don't like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)

（进来，一瘸一拐，捂着手臂）我厌倦这玩意儿了。（痛苦地和他们坐在一起。）

Chandler

Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.

一群30岁的家伙。

Ross

God, do you realize in ten years we're gonna be 40?

天，再过10年我们就都40岁，恩？

Joey

(crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Ross's shoulder.)

（哭）为什么！上帝！这样对我们！（把头埋在罗斯肩上。）

Ross

Yes! My baby's finally free!

哈！宝贝车总算解脱了！

Joey

All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Let's go!

好!（他们跑过去跳上车。）发动！兜风去！

Ross

(starting it) Woohoo!

（发动）哇喔!

(Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)

（他们刚要开走，一个又胖又秃的大个子开着一辆和罗斯一模一样的车停在他旁边。）

The Man In The Sportscar

How hot are we? (He drives off.)

我们好帅！（开走。）

Ross

You wanna buy a car?

你买不买车？

Joey

No.

不要。

(Ross shuts it off and they get out.)

（罗斯关掉引擎，他们下车。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

{Transcriber's Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}

{转录者注：本集没有片尾场景。}

End

结束