The One With All The Candy

Ben

(on the bike) I'm ready!

（在自行车上）我准备好了！

Ross

You sure?

你确定吗？

Ben

Uh-huh!

嗯哼！

Chandler

Okay, let me just straighten out your helmet there. (Does so.)

好，让我来把你的头盔弄正。（这么做。）

Ben

(To Chandler) Thanks daddy.

（对钱德）谢谢爸爸。

Ross

No-no, one daddy, two mommies. All right, it's all yours. (Ross pushes him off.)

不-不，你只有一个爸爸，两个妈妈。好了，现在看你的了！（罗斯推他出发。）

Chandler

Okay. Okay.

好，好。

Ross

Yes! Yes! Yes!! (Everyone stands and claps.)

就这样！对！对！对！！（大家都站起来鼓掌。）

Phoebe

His first big kid's bike, this is so exciting!

阿奔的第一辆大孩子自行车，真叫人兴奋！

Monica

Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and...it bent.

是啊，我还记得我那辆！噢，那是我的六岁生日，我爸爸带我去公园，我骑上它然后……它被压弯了。

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Phoebe

I never had a bike of my own.

我从未有过自己的自行车。

Ross

(shocked) What?!

（震惊）什么？！

Phoebe

Well, we didn't have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.

因为，我们家没有钱。但是街对面的女孩有一辆很棒的自行车！它是粉红色的，把手上挂着彩虹色的缨子，还有-还有-还有一个很大的铃铛，白色的柳条篮子上装饰着塑料菊花。

Chandler

That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.

怎么听着像我的第一辆自行车？（他们都转头看他。）我爸爸给了我他旧的那辆。

Ross

Ohh.

噢。

Monica

Did the girl ever let you ride it?

那个女孩曾让你骑过她的车吗？

Phoebe

No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (They're all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.

不！不过她给了我它的包装盒。那上面有一张自行车的图片。（他们都无语了）所以我可以坐在上面，让我继父拖着我在后园转。

Ross

That is so unfair!

那太不公平了！

Phoebe

Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")

不会啊，我也有拖着他跑！（他们都点头，“噢。”）

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Chandler

Hey! What are you guys doing?

嘿！你们在干吗？

Joey

Hey.

嘿！

Monica

Making holiday candy for the neighbors.

给邻居们做节日喜糖。

Chandler

I'm sorry, who?

对不起，给谁？

Monica

I'm gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.

我打算把这个篮子（指着桌上的那个）挂在门上，等邻居们路过时可以拿一块。

Chandler

But we don't know the neighbors.

可我们不认识他们啊！

Joey

I do. There's uh, let's see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids I've Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.

我认识啊。这里有，比如，小胡子先生，大烟枪女士，曾见过的小孩，还有一个不喜欢被叫做“锈发先生”的红毛家伙。

Monica

See? This is exactly why I'm making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.

明白了吧？这就是为什么我要做些糖果。我们可以知道他们的名字并认识他们。

Chandler

Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved?

我们搬走不是更容易吗？

Rachel

(entering, happily) Gooood morning!!

（开心地走进来）早上好！！

Chandler

Eh, somebody's in a good mood!

嘿，看起来有人心情不错！

Rachel

Well, why shouldn't I be? I have great friends! I have a wonderful job!

难道我不该这样吗？我有一群好朋友！我有一个很棒的工作！

Monica

Where you can make out with your assistant.

一个可以和你助手亲热的地方。

Rachel

Come on, it's not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.

得了，这没什么大不了的！我们花了一整晚作计划，我们的交往将不再是个问题。

Monica

Oh yeah, what's the plan?

是吗？什么计划？

Rachel

(pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We... We are not... ...going to let it... be a problem.

（停顿，思考并大声呼气）我们……我们不会……让它……成为问题。

Monica

Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!

哇！这花了你们一整晚的时间来计划？！

Rachel

Well y'know, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)

可是你知道，我们还做了其他事。（乔伊和钱德开始偷笑。）

Monica

Did you two...

你们两个有没有……

Rachel

Oh Monica come on, y'know I don't sleep with guys on the first date!

噢得了莫妮卡，你知道我不和第一次约会的男人上床！

Monica

Matt Guire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wire...

马特·盖尔，马克·林恩，本·威尔……

Rachel

Anymore!!

我说不再！！

Monica

Okay.

好吧。

Rachel

Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?

嗨，泰格，我今天有一个电话会议对吗？

Tag

Yes, at 4:00.

对，下午四点。

Rachel

Okay, thank you. That'll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)

好的，谢谢。就这样吧。（邮递员离开，泰格也准备走，但瑞秋叫住他。）（兴奋地）等等！等等！（冲过去关上门。）看到了吗？那个送信的还以为我们之间没什么。（他们接吻。）

Tag

I'd better get back to my desk.

我最好还是回我的办公桌。

Rachel

Okay, you hard worker! I'll remember to put that in your evaluation.

好吧，你这勤奋员工！我会记得把这写在你的鉴定里的。

Tag

My what?

我的什么？

Rachel

Well, you've been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But y'know, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)

是这样，你来这儿已两个月了，作为你上司我必须上交一份你的评价报告。可是你知道，我还有一项内容需要评价。（她转身把桌上的东西扫到地上，跳上桌子。）

Tag

Are you serious?

你说真的？

Rachel

No, I've just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?

不，我只是总想这样做。你能帮我打扫一下吗？

Monica

The basket is totally empty! My God, the neighbors ate all the candy!

篮子全空了！天哪，邻居们吃光了我所有的糖果！

Chandler

Well, either that or uh...(Motions towards Joey's door.)

好吧，要么就是……（朝乔伊的门示意。）

Monica

Joey!!

乔伊！！

(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)

（她冲进他的公寓，发现他肩膀上围着毛巾，头上顶着一个碗，菲比手里拿着剪刀。）

Joey

Yeah?

干吗？

Monica

Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!

是你吃了所有为邻居准备的糖果？

Joey

Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!

是啊，本有这个打算，可我去的时候只剩几颗而已！

Phoebe

Yeah, and they've been coming by all day. They love it!

对，他们不停地来拿。他们很喜欢它！

Monica

They love my candy? Oh man!!! I've gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)

他们喜欢我的糖果？天哪！！我得多做点！！（开始做。）

Joey

Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something might've happened to a huge chunk of it.

嘿，莫，你可能还要做些烤宽面条，因为可能有些大块头也要吃。

(Ross enters.)

（罗斯进来。）

Monica

Ross! The neighbors ate all my candy!!

罗斯！邻居们吃光了我所有的糖！！

Ross

Mine stole my newspaper! It's like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.

我的邻居偷了我的报纸！这是个什么世道！！（莫妮卡跑去做更多糖果。）菲比，你那个……你现在有空吗？

Phoebe

Sure!

当然！

Ross

Yeah, ever since you uh, told me that story about that bike I-I couldn't stop thinking about it. I mean, everyone should have a-a first bike, so...

好的，自从你告诉我关于自行车的事我一直耿耿于怀。我是说，每个人都应该拥有第一辆自行车，所以……

(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)

（他走到走廊，然后推着一辆和菲比之前描述的一模一样的自行车回来。）

Phoebe

(gasps) Oh my God Ross!!

（倒吸一口气）噢我的天！！罗斯！！

Ross

You like it?

你喜欢吗？

Phoebe

I love it!!

我爱死它了！！

Ross

Yeah?

真的？

Phoebe

Ohh!! Ohh!! And I love you!

噢！！噢！！我也爱死你了！

Ross

Ahh.

哦？

Phoebe

Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!

不是那种爱！不过这自行车使你我更亲近了！

Ross

Ah! (She hugs him.) Well uh-uh, t-take it downstairs, y'know give it a test ride.

啊！（她拥抱他。）好吧，把它拿到楼下，试着骑骑看。

Phoebe

Okay! Oh my God! My first bike! Thank you for the best present I've ever gotten.

好！我的天！我的第一辆自行车！谢谢你送我有史以来最好的礼物。

Ross

(stunned at the complement) You're welcome.

（被夸得不知所措）别客气。

Phoebe

(starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandler's about to cry.

（准备离开，但停下来）噢还有钱德要哭了。

Chandler

(about to cry) Am not!

（快哭了）才没呢！

Monica

(turning a light on) Who is that?!

（开灯）谁啊？！

Chandler

Don't worry, I'm brave! I am brave! I...I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?

别担心，我很勇敢！我很勇敢！我，我真的很勇敢！（他们走到门口，莫妮卡要去开门。）不-不-不-不！！（他拦住她。）（隔着门。）能告诉我你是谁吗？

The Knocker

My name is Gary, I live upstairs.

我叫加里，我住楼上。

(Monica opens the door.)

（莫妮卡打开门。）

Gary

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

Hi. Do you know what time it is?

嗨。你知道现在是什么时间吗？

Gary

It's candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.

是糖果时间！我室友说那些糖是天堂掉下的。

Monica

Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.

哦别这么说！（对钱德）听到了吗？天堂掉下的。

Chandler

(laughs) 4:00 A.M.

（笑）凌晨四点。

Gary

So, can I get some candy?

那么，我能拿点糖果吗？

Chandler

I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.

我很抱歉，可我们某些人要早起上班！（莫妮卡看着他）（对莫妮卡）他并不知道我不属于“我们某些人”。

Monica

Umm, listen I am sorry, but I'll put some out first thing in the morning.

嗯，听着我很抱歉，可明天一大早我就会放一些在外面。

Gary

Well okay, I'll swing by later. Do you live in this building?

那好吧，我过一会再回来。你也住这栋楼？

Monica

Um-hmm.

对啊。

Gary

(looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I would've remembered you!

（看着莫妮卡）嗯！那我应该记得你才对！

Chandler

Mm! Night Gar'! (Monica closes the door.)

嗯！晚安加里！（莫妮卡关上门。）

Rachel

(hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?

（拥抱他）你读了你的评价报告了吗？

Tag

No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.

没！上面标着“机密文件”，我刚把它送到人事部了。

Rachel

(worried) Okay please, you're kidding right?! I wrote that one as a joke for you!

（担心）噢等一下，你在开玩笑对吧？！我只是写来跟你逗着玩的！

Tag

A joke they would appreciate?

一个他们会欣赏的玩笑？

Rachel

I'm thinkin' no.

我想不会。

Tag

What did you say?!

你都写了什么？

Rachel

Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.

呃，我说你吻技高超，还有我喜欢你的小屁屁。

Tag

No, not my touchie.

不，别提我的屁屁。

Rachel

Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.

后面更糟。关于你的工作积极性，我说，“是的，他能在最短时间内解开我的胸围，” 还有工作上的潜在问题我说“噢老天，我希望没有，” 然后我还画了一些小笑脸，还有一张色色的图画。

Monica

Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.

罗斯！你送菲比自行车真是好有心。我听说这件事都快哭了。

Joey

Almost cried huh? Hear that Chandler? Almost cried!

快哭了？听见了钱德？“快”哭了！

Chandler

Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic!

嘿，每次有人提起铁达尼号你也会哭！

Joey

(about to cry) Those two only had each other!

（快哭了）可他们是对方的唯一！

Ross

Phoebe really likes the bike huh?

菲比真的很喜欢那辆自行车对吧？

Monica

Oh yeah! I saw her walkin' it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.

是啊！有天我见她推着车在街上走。车篮里装着花。好可爱。

Joey

Yeah, I saw her this morning walkin' it by the park.

对，今天早上我还看见她在公园里推着车。

Ross

Wait a minute, she was walking the bike? Both times?

等一下，她老是“推”着车？两次都是？

Joey

Hey Pheebs?

嘿，菲比？

Phoebe

Oh hi!

噢，嗨！

Chandler

Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?

嘿！看来你很喜欢这辆车？

Phoebe

Ohh, uh-huh so much!

噢，非常喜欢！

Ross

Pheebs you uh...you do know how to ride a bike don't you?

菲比你那个……你应该会骑车对吧？

Phoebe

Of course!

当然！

Monica

Umm, can we see you ride it?

嗯，能骑给我们看看吗？

Phoebe

Okay. (The gang is giggles then Phoebe gets the bike out of the rack, gets on, pushes off, rolls a few feet, and falls over.) See?

好。（大家窃笑，然后菲比把自行车从车架上取下来，骑上去，蹬了几步，滚了几英尺，摔倒了。）看见了？

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!

你看，这就是为什么我告诉你永远不要和你助手发生关系！当发展到恋爱时没有什么事是能够保密的。（对钱德）听到了吗钱德？不要这样做！

Chandler

(with his mouth full) What happened? I'm just eating candy.

（嘴里塞满）怎么了？我只是吃糖而已。

Rachel

Maybe it's not as bad as I think. Y'know, maybe they didn't take it the way I meant it.

我想也许没那么糟糕。你知道，也许他们不会按我的意思来理解那东西。

Chandler

Absolutely! Y'know, because touchie can mean both ass and good worker.

绝对的！你知道，因为小屁屁可以理解为屁股或优秀员工。

Rachel

Ugh, I just gotta get the thing back!

啊，我只想把那东西拿回来！

Joey

Hey Rach?

嘿，瑞？

Rachel

Yeah?

干吗？

Joey

That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what he's been drawing.)

你提到的那张图画，是不是像这样？（他给她看他一直在画的画。）

Rachel

Oh my God! Joey!

噢老天！乔伊！

Chandler

What is the matter with you?

你别是有毛病吧？

Rachel

Ugh!

呃！

Joey

Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.

告诉你小子，这点小才能在我买得起大黄片前可派得上用场了。

(There is a knock on the door and Monica answers it. There is a woman standing there.)

（有人敲门，莫妮卡去开门。一个女人站在门口。）

The Woman

Hi! I'm sorry, I know it's after hours but I really need candy.

嗨！很抱歉，我知道时间已过了可我真的很需要糖果。

Monica

I'm sorry, I can't help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.

不好意思，我帮不了你。看见了？（指着她的新牌子。）这是规矩。

The Woman

Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!

求你了！今天我有外地的客人来访！我跟他们提了你的糖果的事！

Monica

No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell 'em?

别开玩笑了，外地的？你告诉他们什么？

The Woman

I told 'em your candy is absolutely indescribable!

我告诉他们你的糖果实在是无法形容！

Monica

Some people have been saying its y'know little drops of heaven, but whatever.

有人形容它是天堂掉下的，不过仅供参考。

The Woman

Please, can't you help me out?

求你了，帮帮我行吗？

Joey

(watching the discussion) Hey Chandler, do we know that lady?

（看着对话）嘿钱德，你认识那女的吗？

Chandler

Maybe, isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud?

可能吧，她不是那个住你楼下的叫床声音很大的女人？

Monica

(still talking to the woman) All right, I'll do it just this once! But you can't tell anybody!

（还在和女人说话）好吧，我只做这一次！可别告诉任何人！

The Woman

(exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!

（急迫地）是！是！求你了，给我吧！

Joey and Chandler

Yeah, that's her.

没错，是她。

The Woman

(after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.

（莫妮卡给她糖果后）谢谢。

Monica

(closing the door) It's unbelievable! I-I can't believe that sign didn't work!

（关上门）真是难以置信！我写了标注也不管用！

Chandler

Y'know what would work?

你知道怎样才管用？

Monica

Hmm?

怎样？

Chandler

Stop making candy!

停止做糖果！

Monica

But they like it!

可他们喜欢它！

Chandler

You mean they like you.

可你是想要他们喜欢你。

Monica

Maybe.

也许吧。

Chandler

Is that why you became a chef? So that people would like you?

你就是这样当上主厨的？这样别人就会喜欢你？

Monica

Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)

噢，你真的想谈谈关于怎样招人喜欢的话题是吗？大活宝？（乔伊笑了，但被钱德瞪了一眼后停住。）

Ross

Okay, now just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine. Okay? Here we go. Ready...Set...

好了，现在只要记住所有我教你的就没问题了。好？开始了。预备……走……

Phoebe

(hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seat---or a beanbag chair!

（跳下自行车）等等！这车座真的很不舒服！也许在开始前我们应该换一个。比如，就好象飞机座位？或者豆袋椅！

Ross

Phoebe, you can't get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!

菲比，你跑不掉的！好？你必须学会骑车！

Phoebe

Why? Why do I have to learn?

为什么？为什么我必须学？

Ross

Well...In-in case of emergency.

为了……为了应付紧急情况。

Phoebe

What kind of an emergency?

怎样的紧急情况？

Ross

Well let there---what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or I'll sh...I'll shoot you."

那个……假如一个坏人过来用枪指着你脑袋说，“你骑不骑？不骑我就……我就开枪了。”

Phoebe

Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.

好，我会按铃铛使他分神，再打掉他的枪，像中国功夫明星那样。

Ross

Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike and---Hey! I'll hold you up and-and push you. Okay?

好了菲比，你就骑上去吧？嘿！我会扶住你，推着你走。好？

Phoebe

You won't let go?

你不会撒手吧？

Ross

No!

不会！

Phoebe

Swear?!

你发誓？！

Ross

I swear!

我发誓！

Phoebe

(thinks it over) Okay.

（想了想）好吧。

Ross

Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)

来吧。（她骑上自行车。）好了，开始了。好了吗？（他们开始。）

Phoebe

All right.

好了。

Ross

All right. Feel good?

好的。感觉如何？

Phoebe

Well...

还行……

Ross

All right, try pedaling.

很好，试着蹬踏板。

Phoebe

Okay. (Does so.)

好。（照做。）

Ross

That's it, your doing great.

就这样，你做的很好。

Phoebe

Okay.

好。

Ross

Doing great! Yes-yes-yes! Take control! Yes!

干得不赖！对-对-对！控制方向！对！

Phoebe

Weee!!! (Ross pushes her and lets go.)

哇！！！（罗斯推她然后放手。）

Ross

Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)

对!! 是的!!!（他开始鼓掌，菲比回头看他，摔下了自行车。）

Phoebe

Oh! Oh! Oh no!! You swore!

噢！噢！噢不！！你发过誓的！

Ross

I-I just thought you were doing so well. I...

我……我只是觉得你做的挺好。我……

Phoebe

I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)

我很震惊！很震惊！！（她气冲冲地走了，留下罗斯面对围观者愤怒的目光。）

Ross

It's a legitimate learning technique. (Looking around and seeing the woman behind him glaring at him.) Wow!

这是正统的教学方法。（环顾四周，看到身后的女人瞪着他。）哇！

Ross

Hey, there's uh, some people outside, askin' about candy.

嘿，外面有些人向你要糖果什么的。

Monica

Well, they're just gonna have to wait aren't they? I've only got two hands!!

对，可他们必须得等不是吗？我只有两只手！！

Ross

Need some help?

需要帮忙吗？

Monica

No! You don't know the system! There'll be nobody messing with the system!

不！你不了解整个流程！任何人也不许搞乱这个生产流程！

Ross

By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebe's room.)

顺便说一句，你婚礼的前一个礼拜我不会经常出现在你面前。（她瞪着他，他赶紧走向菲比的房间。）

Phoebe

(seeing him) Oh, hello liar.

（看见他）噢，你好，大话王。

Ross

(entering) Look, I-I'm really sorry I let go of the bike.

（走进来）听着，我-我真的很抱歉我撒了手。

Phoebe

I could've been killed I hope you know!

我有可能会死你知道吗！

Ross

I know. I know. But, can we please try it again? Huh? I mean, you were so close Phoebe!

我知道。我知道。不过，我们能不能再试一次？我是说，你差点就成功了菲比！

Phoebe

Well, I would love to but...the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)

我很乐意可……那车被偷了，警察连嫌疑犯都没找到。（罗斯的手恰好放在一块布上，布下面盖着的东西很像一辆自行车。）

Ross

Phoebe.

菲比。

Phoebe

What?! (Ross rings the bell.) What the hell?!

干吗？！（罗斯按铃。）这怎么可能？！

Ross

All right, y'know what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then I'm sorry, I'm just gonna have to take it back.

好了，你知道吗？如果你不想学骑车那就抱歉了，我就要收回那辆车。

Phoebe

What?! Why?!

什么？！为什么？！

Ross

Because! Because, it-it-it's... It'd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you don't ride it you-you're-you're killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.

因为！因为，它-它-它的……就好比你拥有这把吉他，却-却从来不去弹它。好，这把吉它想要被弹奏！就如同这自行车希望被骑，而如果你不骑它，你会抹杀它的灵魂！（停顿）这车就要死翘翘了。

Phoebe

All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.

好吧。鉴于你在意得编得出这种胡话，好。

Ross

Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) You're making the bike very happy.

太好了！太好了！（他跑到门口。）你会让这辆车很开心的。

Phoebe

(sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please don't die!

（讽刺地）好了罗斯！（罗斯离开，她小声对自行车说）求求你不要死哦！

Rachel

Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but we're gonna have to get into Mr. Zelner's office. Now, he doesn't get in until 10, so he's no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.

好了，我想我们可以在他们看到之前把鉴定要回来，可我们必须进入泽尔纳先生的办公室。他十点以前不会进来。所以他不成问题，而他的助手，贝蒂，她会很早进来，在她的办公桌吃早餐。

Tag

That's kinda sad.

这有点悲哀。

Rachel

Yeah, well Betty's kinda sad. Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. (Holding up the box of chocolates.) Now, while I distract her, you get in the office.

是啊，贝蒂是有点悲哀。所以我相信我能用这些巧克力把她引开。（举起一盒巧克力。）现在，当我去吸引她时，你进入办公室。

Tag

Got it!

了解！

Rachel

Let's roll!

行动吧！

(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)

（他们朝门口走去，但泽尔纳先生进来了，他们停下。）

Mr. Zelner

Hello Rachel, you uh, got a minute?

你好瑞秋，你现在有空吗？

Rachel

(worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anything---minute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)

（担心且震惊）有，当然泽尔纳先生，你要什么都行。空？行，没问题（对泰格）计划取消，计划取消。（她开始把泰格往外推。）

Mr. Zelner

Uh actually, I'd like to speak with both of you.

其实，我事想和你们两个人谈。

Rachel

Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? (Holds up the box.)

好。嗯，你想要来点什么吗泽尔纳先生？比如巧克力？（举起盒子。）

Mr. Zelner

Umm, no. Thanks, but I'll give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?

泰格“俏臀”琼斯。你们两个之间是不是有什么？

Rachel

(laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.

（笑）噢老天！你能想象我们有什么吗？我是说，（变得严肃）到底会有什么后果？

Mr. Zelner

Well, I'd be forced to file a report. I'd have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.

其实，我被迫要写一份报告。我必须和法律部门进行讨论，而你们在这个公司的前途会很危险。

Rachel

Well...

那么……

Tag

(interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, I'm the one who filled in that evaluation.

（打断）呃，泽尔纳先生，写那份鉴定的是我自己。

Rachel

Oh no-no-no...

噢，不-不-不……

Tag

(interrupting again) Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I thought it would be funny.

（再次打断）是-是-是-是-是，我觉得这样很好玩。

Mr. Zelner

You wrote that you have a cute touchie?

你写你自己有个可爱的小屁屁？

Tag

(pause) Yes. I have a weird sense of humor, and I'm kinda strangely proud of my butt.

（停顿）是。我的幽默感很怪异，而且我对我的屁股十分自豪。

Mr. Zelner

It's kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I can't figure out what this is?

这是个危险的玩笑，泰格，还有这里画的是什么，我看不出来，是什么？

Rachel

You're lookin' at it upside down---y'know what? (Grabs the evaluation and throws it out.) It doesn't matter.

你上下颠倒来看的？你知道吗？（抓起鉴定扔进垃圾桶。）这无关紧要。

Mr. Zelner

Yeah, it's not like I don't have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But there's a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, you've (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)

那么看来我也不是没有幽默感是吧？我有时甚至喜欢色情的打油诗。但要分清时间与场合，懂吗？除非你们，现在就有首什么好打油诗？（两人都摇头。）没有？好吧，反正你有我的传真号码。（离开。）

Rachel

Whoa! I can't believe you did that. That was really sweet.

哇！真不敢相信你这样做。真的好温馨。

Tag

No, don't worry about it.

不，别在意。

Rachel

No, you could've lost your job.

不，你有可能会丢掉工作。

Tag

Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, I'd find work.

你在开玩笑？凭着这样可爱的屁股我还怕找不到工作？

Rachel

Thank you! You're great! (They kiss.)

谢谢你！你真是太好了！（他们接吻。）

Tag

Y'know what?

你知道吗？

Rachel

What?

什么？

Tag

I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?

其实我感觉不错！（瑞秋笑）事实上！（走到她的办公桌前，把桌上的东西扫到地上，瑞秋瞪着他。）什么？

Rachel

I... It just---it took me so long to get that desk organized.

我……可……可我花了好长的时间才把桌子整理好的。

Tag

Oh, I'm sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)

噢，不好意思。（他弯腰去捡东西。）

Rachel

(looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)

（看着他的屁股）就是这个。（他们拥抱。）

Chandler

(asking a man leaning against the wall) What is going on?

（问一个靠在墙上的男人）发生什么事了？

The Man

We're waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!

我们在等糖果。（朝门大喊）把糖果拿出来！

Joey

Yeah lady! Give us candy!!

对，女士！给我们糖果！！

Chandler

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

What's up buddy?

怎么了伙计？

Chandler

What are you doing?

你在干吗？

Joey

Waiting for candy.

等糖果。

Chandler

Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.

进去！（他们走向门口，钱德看到大烟枪女士站在门边抽烟，对她说）嘿，你不许在这里抽烟！（拿过香烟自己吸了一口。）（陶醉地呼气）圣诞快乐。

Monica

(opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!

（打开门，疯狂地）好，伙计们！糖果就快好了；我还需要15分钟等巧克力冷却！

All

We want candy! We want candy now! (And other general commotion sounds.)

我们要糖果！现在就要！（还有其他嘈杂声。）

Chandler

All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and I'll bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?

好了各位！安静！安静！安静！住-住-住嘴！（他们安静下来）你们这些人什么毛病？这位女士正努力为你们做一件好事，她为了认识你们而拼命做糖果，而我打赌你们没人知道她的名字！我说的对吗？

The Man

(from earlier) Candy Lady?

（之前那个）糖果女士？

Chandler

No not (imitating) Candy Lady.

不不是（模仿）糖果女士。

Joey

(stepping in and knocking the man over) Hey, if we know it can we have candy?!!

（插进来把男人撞倒）嘿，如果我们知道就能得到糖果吗？！

Chandler

All right, y'know what? Forget it, all of you forget it! You've ruined it! Go home! You've ruined it!

够了，你们知道吗？别妄想了，都别妄想了！你们搞砸了！回去！你们搞砸了！

Joey

That's right, it's all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)

说得对，全搞砸了！你们搞砸了一切！（走进公寓，钱德关上门。）（乔伊大摇大摆地走到糖果旁开始吃。）

Monica

(To Chandler) Thank you.

（对钱德）谢谢你。

Chandler

You're welcome. (They kiss.)

别客气。（他们接吻。）

Monica

Did you smoke?

你抽烟了？

Chandler

No! Smokes-A-Lot Lady blew smoke directly into my mouth. Eh-uh---are you okay?

没有！大烟枪女士把烟吐到我嘴里。那个，你没事吧？

Monica

I'm fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.

现在没事，不过刚才太吓人了。我是说，有人还从门缝塞进了一张恐吓字条。

Joey

(with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I don't know... (Grabs the note.)

（嘴里塞满食物）噢，不好意思。暴徒心理什么的，管他呢……（抓起字条。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Phoebe

I can't believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought I'd be able to do that! Thank you Ross.

真不敢相信！我成功了！我能骑自行车了！我从没想过我能做到！谢谢你罗斯。

Ross

Oh hey, don't thank me, thank yourself. You're the one who faced her fears and ultimately overcame them.

噢嘿，别谢我，谢谢你自己。你才是敢于面对恐惧并克服它的人。

Phoebe

Don't be so corny Ross, it's not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)

别那么老土罗斯，这又不是课后开小灶。（她骑走了，镜头向下摇，露出两个牢固地附着的闪亮银色辅助轮。）

End

结束