The One With Rachel's Book

Joey

Hey!

嗨！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Joey

Who wants French toast?

有谁想要法式烤面包吗？

Ross

Oh, I'll have some!

哦，我要一些！

Joey

Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.

我也要。（把面包扔给他）蛋和奶都在冰箱里，谢谢。

Monica

(entering from her room) Oww!

（从卧室出来）喔！

Chandler

What's the matter honey?

怎么了，亲爱的？

Monica

I don't know, my hand feels weird. I guess it's because, I'm engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?

不知道，我的手感觉怪怪的。我想是因为——我订婚了！（秀戒指）你们啥时候会觉得这样很烦？

Phoebe

It starts?

已经烦了。

Rachel

Yeah, so let's get started on the wedding plans!

让我们开始计划婚礼吧！

Monica

Okay! (Runs off.)

好！（跑开）

Chandler

(incredulous) Already?!

（难以置信）这就计划了？

Rachel

Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music...

是啊，很多事要做！要考虑鲜花，宴会，音乐……

Chandler

Oh, I got some thoughts on that.

哦，有关音乐我有一些想法。

Rachel

Oh wait Chandler, too many cooks...

哦，钱德，已经太多想法了。

Ross

Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.

根据我的经验，作为一个新郎你只要准时出场，说对新娘名字就行了。

Monica

(returning) Okay! (Sets down a huge 3" 3-ring binder on the table.)

（回来）好了！（把一个巨大的三英寸三孔活页夹放在桌上。）

Chandler

What in God's name is that?!

这是什么玩意？

Ross

Oh my God, the wedding book?! I haven't seen that since the forth grade!

哦，天哪，婚礼书？自打四年级起我就再没见过它！

Monica

This baby has got everything. Take y'know, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.

你的宝贝妹妹什么都有。来看看，比如说地点。（她把活页夹翻到地点章节）首先，要按字母顺序计划，接着再按照地理位置，然后再按每平方尺规划。

Phoebe

That is so smart! (To Chandler, under her breath) Break it off. Break it off now.

真聪明！（对钱德低声说）取消，现在取消。

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now let's take a look at... (Phoebe rushes in.)

最终这就证明了是我先想出来侏罗纪公园这个主意的！现在我们再看看……（菲比冲进来。）

Phoebe

Hey! Ross!

嘿！罗斯！

Ross

Phoebe, oh my God! Wh-wh-what are you doing here?

菲比，哦，天哪！你，你来这干嘛？

Phoebe

I need to talk to you, it's pretty urgent. It's about Monica and Chandler.

我得和你谈谈，有要紧事。是关于莫妮卡和钱德的。

Ross

Oh my God! Of course, of course. (To the class.) Umm, would you please excuse me for a moment? Umm, do you know each other's hometowns? Why don't you... (Motions that they should learn everyone's hometown.) (To Phoebe) Wh-what's going on?

哦，天哪！当然，当然。（对同学们）嗯，失陪一会儿好吗？嗯，你们知道同桌的老家在哪吗？不如……（示意大家互相了解家乡）（对菲比）怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, y'know? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?

是这样，也没啥。不过我想既然他们刚订婚，最好给他们一些隐私，你说呢？所以能让我到你家住几天吗？

Ross

Umm, okay, yeah, sure. But wh-what's wrong with Monica and Chandler?

嗯，好吧，当然了。但是莫妮卡和钱德出什么事了？

Phoebe

Nothing---Why?!

没事啊！干嘛？

Ross

Phoebe, you said it was urgent!

菲比，你说是要紧事！

Phoebe

Oh yeah it is! I'm going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.

哦，是很急啊！我要去看电影，五分钟后就开始了。

Ross

Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?

你知不知道我满教室都是学生？

Phoebe

(to the students) Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?

（对学生们）哦，抱歉，真失礼。有谁想去看电影吗？

Monica

All right, so I haven't cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.

好吧，我还不知道我父母那会有多少钱，先看看这音乐怎么样吧。

Rachel

Okay.

好的。

Monica

All right umm, a string quartet for the procession.

是这样，嗯，要有一队弦乐四重奏。

Rachel

Aw.

啊～～

Monica

A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.

先来个爵士乐三重唱，然后是贝城旱冰队跳舞。等等，这是第六个方案中的。

Chandler

Well, you couldn't get them anyway. Ian doesn't plan anymore and Derrick... (Off of Rachel and Monica's looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldn't know.

反正你也请不到他们。伊恩已经不表演了，而德立克……（看到瑞秋和莫妮卡的眼神）德立克是个我不该知道的名字。

Joey

(sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Y'know, something a little snugglyer?

（从沙发上坐起来）嗨，莫妮，你有多的枕头吗？（举起一个）你知道，更贴身的？

Chandler

Why are you napping over here instead of over at your place?

你干嘛在这睡，不到你的地方去？

Joey

Well, the duck...

这个，那鸭子……

Rachel

What?! The duck?! What the hell did the damn duck do now?!

什么？鸭子？这该死的鸭子现在又干了些啥？

Joey

Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!

呃，它没有在那边的某处呕吐，而且马上就被发现并清理干净了！

Chandler

Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?

现在，是让我看看这本书呢，还是只有确实和婚礼有关的人才能看？

Monica

Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!

你当然可以看！我也想要听听你的意见！

Chandler

Okay.

好的。

Monica

Here you go! What do you think about centerpieces?

你看这个！你觉得餐桌中间用什么装饰比较好？

Chandler

Centerpieces!

餐桌中间？

Monica

Yeah! Roses or Lilies? (Holds up a picture of each.)

是！玫瑰还是百合？（各举起一张照片。）

Chandler

Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think they're a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.

当然是玫瑰。（莫妮卡和瑞秋交换眼神）不过，我觉得那样太过于喜庆了。（莫妮卡把百合照片凑近他）所以绝对要选百合。

Monica

Oh my God! It's like one mind.

哦，天哪！我们真是心有灵犀。

Chandler

Uh-huh!

嗯哼！

Joey

(sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, I'm gonna get cranky!

（又坐起来）伙计！伙计！你们得让我睡会儿！我可发火了！

Rachel

Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!

乔伊，对门就有一张好沙发！

Joey

Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!

没错，是很好，而且不是鸭子呕吐过的地方！

Rachel

What?!

什么？

Joey

All right, I'm gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)

算了，我走了！（起身走向门口。）

Rachel

Now Joey, what did the duck do?!

乔伊，鸭子到底怎么了？

Joey

I don't know! But he did not eat your face cream!

我不知道！但是它没吃你的面霜！

Joey

Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (He's about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachel's room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) That's so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar...(Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) ...wouldn't be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his...(Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)

嗨，小鸭子，感觉怎么样？（鸭子没有呕吐，乔伊吓得后退，走向沙发）那面霜里到底有什么？（他打算试试沙发，但注意到瑞秋房间里的床。他走进她的房间，摸了摸床）可真软。（掀开被子）枕头套！（他爬上去，开心地呻吟。突然，他感觉到身下有东西，抽出一本破旧的平装书。他翻开读起来）（心里）泽尔达望着扫烟囱工。她父亲，神甫……（停下思考）神甫？（继续读）一小时内都不会在家。她的欲火在燃烧。她把警告丢到了脑后，伸出手去握住了他的……（出声）喔！（继续默读）喔～喔～喔～！这是本黄书！（继续读。）

Ross

Uh, Phoebe...

呃，菲比……

Phoebe

Oh Ross, hi.

哦，罗斯，嗨。

Ross

Phoebe, what are you doing?

菲比，你在干嘛？

Phoebe

I'm sorry, I'm with a client right now.

抱歉，我现在有客户。

Ross

Phoebe!

菲比！

Phoebe

Okay, let's talk outside. (They go into the hall.)

好吧，我们到外面去说。（他们走到走廊。）

Ross

Phoebe, you can't massage people in my apartment!

菲比，你不能在我的公寓里给别人按摩！

Phoebe

What's the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandler's!

那有什么大不了的？我在莫妮卡和钱德的房子里也做过！

Ross

And they knew about it?

那他们知道吗？

Phoebe

(pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?

（停顿思考）好吧，听着，罗斯，你到底想怎样？

Ross

Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!

听着，这是我的家，我要想来就来，想走就走！

Phoebe

Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just don't know what the big deal is!

好吧，那我另找一个地方做我剩下的客人。我只是不明白这有什么大不了的！

Ross

The big deal is I don't want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzle---beer! Cold beer.

大不了的地方是我不想在我的公寓里有一个光屁股还油乎乎的陌生人妨碍我玩拼图……喝啤酒，冰啤酒！

Rachel

Hey Joey, what 'cha doing?

嗨，乔伊，在干嘛？

Joey

Sweepin'. Why? Turn you on?

打扫卫生。怎么？让你兴奋了？

Rachel

No.

没。

Joey

Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?

嗯，那如果我扫烟囱呢？

Rachel

Joey, did you eat my face cream?

乔伊，你吃了我的面霜吗？

(She walks into her bedroom.)

（她走进卧室。）

Joey

Where are you going? The vicar won't be home for hours.

你去哪了？神甫一小时内都不会回来的。

(She comes back out.)

（她走出来。）

Rachel

Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?

乔伊，（紧张地）你从哪学来这词的？

Joey

Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?

你说呢，（停顿）泽尔达？

Rachel

(gasps) You found my book?!

（倒吸气）你看了我的书？

Joey

Yeah I did!

我看了！

Rachel

Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!

乔伊，你，你到我的卧室里干嘛？

Joey

Okay, look I'm sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldn't have, but you got porn!

好吧，我很抱歉。我只是进去打个盹，我知道我不该这样，但你有本黄书！

Rachel

Hey-hey, y'know what? I don't care! I'm not ashamed of my book. There's nothing with a woman enjoying a little...erotica. It's just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)

嘿，你知道吗，我不在乎！我才不会觉得害臊呢。女人看点色情小说根本就没错。这只是女人在性方面的一种健康表达，而你，是永远也理解不了这一点的。（她走进卧室。）

Joey

You got porn!

你有本黄书！

Ross

Hello.

你好。

Woman

Hi, is uh Phoebe here?

嗨，菲比在吗？

Ross

Uh no-no, she-she's out for the night.

呃，不，不在，她，她今晚出去了。

Woman

Ohh great.

哦，倒霉。

Ross

Can I, can I help you with something?

这个，有什么我可以帮你的？

Woman

Well, I don't know. Are you a masseur?

喔，不知道。你是按摩师吗？

Ross

(deadpan) Yes I am.

（面无表情）是，我是。

Woman

Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, I'll be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)

太好了！（朝走廊喊）爸爸！（她年迈的父亲走进来）太谢谢你了，我过一小时来接他。（她走开。）

(Ross isn't happy and closes the door slowly.)

（罗斯不高兴，慢慢关上门。）

Mrs. Geller

So Chandler, you're parents must've been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.

钱德，你告诉你父母说你订婚的时候，他们肯定很激动。

Chandler

Oh yeah, I should probably call them.

哦，是啊，也许我该打个电话告诉他们。

Mr. Geller

I remember when we first got engaged.

我记得我们第一次订婚的时候。

Chandler

Oh, I don't think I ever heard that story.

哦，我可不记得听过这个故事。

Monica

Oh dad, really you don't need to...

哦，爸爸，你真的不用……

Mr. Geller

(ignoring her) Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know how that happened.

（不理她）我让朱迪怀孕了。我到现在还不知道是怎么回事呢。

Mrs. Geller

(incredulous) You don't know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!

（难以置信）你不知道是怎么回事？你的狗以为我的子宫避孕帽是个嚼的玩具！

Chandler

What a sweet story.

多感人的故事啊。

Monica

Well, at least you're not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.

至少你不是在你五年级的万圣节晚会上头一回听到这个故事。

Mr. Geller

What?! They wanted a scary story!

什么话！他们想听一个可怕的故事！

Monica

Anyway, we're really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon we'll be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents don't.) What?

不管它，我们的婚礼计划挺让人兴奋的。我猜很快我们就会从莫妮卡婚礼基金中提一大笔款。（她和钱德笑，但她父母没笑）怎么了？

Mrs. Geller

You tell her Jack, I can't do it.

杰克，你告诉她，我做不来。

Monica

What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund don't you?

怎么了？你们还存着莫妮卡婚礼基金呢，是不是？

Mr. Geller

We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.

是的，不过如今，我们把它称作海滨别墅。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Monica

I can't believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!

我真不敢相信你们花了我的婚礼基金去买海滨别墅！

Mrs. Geller

We're sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 you'd pay for it yourself.

宝贝，真抱歉，我们只是觉得你过了30岁才结婚的话，你应该自己付这笔账。

Monica

You bought the beach house when I was 23!

可我23岁的时候你们就买了海滨别墅！

Mr. Geller

Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you can't put a price on that sweetie.

也就是说你有了七年的海滨娱乐，这可是无法标价的，宝贝。

Mrs. Geller

We really do feel bad about this though.

不过我们还是为此感到很抱歉。

Mr. Geller

We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.

你和理查德约会的时候我们又开始存钱，结果你们吹了，于是我们就重新装修了厨房。

Monica

What about when I started dating Chandler?

那我和钱德开始约会的时候呢？

Mrs. Geller

Well it was Chandler! We didn't think he'd ever propose!

那是钱德！我们压根没想过他会求婚！

Chandler

Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)

很明显我在开始吃饭时没有喝够。（开始补喝，猛灌了一大口。）

Monica

I can't believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!

真不敢相信！那我的婚礼就没钱了？

Mrs. Geller

We might still have some money, if your father didn't think it was a good idea to sell ice over the Internet.

我们本来还有些钱的，如果你老爸没觉得通过互联网卖冰是个好主意的话。

Mr. Geller

It seemed like such a simple idea.

那看上去似乎是个很简单的主意。

Mrs. Geller

Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.

是傻，杰克，那个词应该是傻。

Mr. Geller

All right, enough! I don't want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)

好了，够了！我不想再听到这个了！（低声）祝好运，钱德。（钱德又喝一口。）

Ross

Okay! Now, I'm going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, that's soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)

好了！现在，我打算开始按摩了。（非常小心地碰）靠，真他妈软。（他开始戳他，注意到他的沙拉勺，开始用那些勺子给他按摩。）

Monica

I can't believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?

真不敢相信。你觉得你父母能帮忙支付一些吗？

Chandler

I don't know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. She's saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.

我不知道。我妈把她的钱大都花在第四次婚礼上了。她要把剩下的存起来准备离婚时用。我爸多出来的钱是他存下来每年去（停顿）多丽屋主题公园的。

Rachel

Well what happened at dinner?

晚饭时怎么了？

Monica

My parents spent the money for our wedding!

我父母把我们婚礼的钱花掉了！

Phoebe

(gasps) My God! What did you order?!

（倒吸气）哦！天哪！你们都吃了些啥？

Rachel

Wait, but there's no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!

等会儿，没钱了？这可真糟糕！你们可能要在，某个休闲中心结婚了！

Chandler

Honey, it's gonna be okay.

亲爱的，会好起来的。

Monica

No! No it's not! It's not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!

不！不会！不会好起来的！糟透了！没有摇摆乐队！没有百合花！

Rachel

No, y'know what? It's gonna be okay. I mean you don't have to have this rustic Italian feast. Y'know? And-and you don't need, you don't need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)

不，你知道吗，会好起来的。我是说，你不一定非要这种意大利式的乡下宴会。你知道吗，你也不需要这种定做的，有着新古典风格的胸衣，像个女公爵一样的绸缎礼服，你可以穿现成的。（她开始哭，莫妮卡也哭了。）

Chandler

Look, it really is gonna be okay. The important thing is that we love each other and that we're gonna get married.

我说，真的会好起来的。最重要的是我们互相相爱，而且我们要结婚了。

Rachel

Do you even understand what off the rack means?!

你理解穿现成的意味着什么吗？

Phoebe

Look, why don't you just pay for it yourself?

我说，你们干嘛不自己付这笔帐呢？

Monica

How? I don't have any money.

怎么付？我没啥钱。

Chandler

Well, I have some.

呃，我有一些。

Monica

How much?

有多少？

Chandler

Well, close to... (Notices Rachel leaning in to hear and decides to write it on a piece of paper and hand it to Monica as Phoebe averts her eyes.)

这个嘛，接近于……（注意到瑞秋凑过来听，决定写在纸上递给莫妮卡，菲比移开视线。）

Monica

Whoa!!! Are you kidding me?!

哇！你不是在哄我吧？

Rachel

Well what?! How-how much is it?!

什么嘛，到底是多少？

Monica

It's enough for wedding scenario eight.

足够婚礼的A计划。

Rachel

Ohh! (Whispers.) Really?!

哦！（低声）真的？

Monica

(To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!

（对钱德）你真伟大，你这小钱箱！我是说，这些钱正好够我梦想中的婚礼！

Rachel

(starting to cry) Ohh, you guys are so made for each other.

（开始哭）哦，你们真是天生一对。

Chandler

Well, you're not suggesting that we spend all of the money on the wedding?

等会儿，你们不是说要把这些钱全都花在婚礼上吧？

Rachel and Monica

Ah, yeah!

啊，正是！

Chandler

Well, come on, I've been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.

呃，这些钱我存了六年，有些已经预订好以后的用处了，可不只是为了一次晚会的。

Phoebe

(reading the slip of paper) Wow! (In a sultry voice) Hello, Mr. Chandler.

（看纸条）喔！（性感的声音）你好，小帅哥。

Monica

This is the most special day of our lives.

这是我们生命中最特别的一天。

Chandler

No, I realize that honey, but I'm not gonna spend all of the money on one party.

不是，我也知道这一点，亲爱的。但我不会在一次晚会上就把钱花光。

Monica

Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, we're only gonna get married once.

亲爱的，嗯，我爱你，（笑）但你再把我们的婚礼称为晚会，我就不邀请你来了。（笑）听着，我们总是可以赚更多的钱，不是吗？但我们只会结一次婚。

Chandler

Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.

听着，我理解，但我不得不脚踏实地。好吗？回答是——不行。

Monica

You-you're gonna have to put your foot down?

你不得不脚踏实地？

Chandler

Yes, I am!

是的！没错！

Phoebe

Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.

喔，有钱又抠门。我总算找到一个可以共度一生的钱德了。

Joey

Hey Rach.

嗨，瑞秋。

Rachel

(quietly) Joey.

（轻声）乔伊。

Joey

Hey Rach, do you smell smoke?

嗨，瑞秋，你闻到烟味了吗？

Rachel

Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.

啊哈，了解，烟，烟囱，擦烟囱工，很好笑，哈哈。

Joey

No-no-no, I'm serious. You don't smell it? Something's on fire.

不不不，我是认真的。你没闻到吗？有东西着火了。

Rachel

Well no, I don't smell anything.

没，我啥都没闻见。

Joey

Oh, y'know what? It's probably just your burnin' loins.

哦，你知道吗？也许只是你的欲火在燃烧。

Ross

(sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?

（坐下）嗨，你们，你们在聊什么？

Rachel

Nothing!

没啥！

Ross

(takes a drink) Damn, this coffee's cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)

（喝了一口）靠，这咖啡是凉的！嗨，瑞秋，你介意我用你的欲火热一热它吗？（他和乔伊笑）

Rachel

Y'know, I can not believe you told him, Joey!

真不敢相信你告诉他了，乔伊！

Ross

So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?

我猜你是在我们分手之后买的那本书，嗯？

Rachel

Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)

啊哈，是的，因为和你在一起的时候我把第一本都翻烂了。（离开。）

Ross

(chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) 'Sup?

（追她）哦，是吗，是吗？呃，我和你在一起的时候，我读了成吨的色情杂志！（意识到一桌女人听到了）（对那桌）吃饭呢？

Phoebe

(entering) Ross! How could you do that to an old man?!

（进来）罗斯！你怎么可以对一位老人这样！

Ross

(looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) I'm sorry?

（看着那桌）失陪，女士们。（对菲比）你说啥？

Phoebe

My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.

记得我的按摩客户，亚瑟吗？他女儿打电话说今天下午有个为我工作的家伙给他做了一次怪怪的按摩。

Ross

(incredulous) I gave him an extremely professional massage!

（难以置信）我给他做了一场极其专业的按摩！

Phoebe

He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.

他说你用木头勺子戳他。

Ross

Okay, so it wasn't uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.

好吧，那不是，呃，传统按摩。但我确实用一双筷子给他做了指压，我还用拖把轻柔地给他扫背了呢。

Phoebe

Well, he's never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!

得了，他再不来了！懂吗？你让我每周损失了八十块钱！

Ross

Hey, y'know what? This is your fault! You're the one that didn't move his-his appointment.

嘿，知道吗？这是你的错！是你没有跟他重新约一个时间。

Phoebe

Oh, it's my fault?! You didn't have to massage him! You could've sent him away! You could've not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!

哦，是我的错？你又不是得非给他按摩不可！你可以让他回去！你可以不用把些垃圾在他背上滚来滚去的！

Ross

He said he liked that!! Oh you're right, you're right. I'm sorry.

他说他喜欢那样！哦，你是对的，你是对的。我很抱歉。

Joey

Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?

伙计，你为啥要给一个老人按摩呢？

Ross

His daughter was hot.

他女儿很惹火。

Joey

Gotcha.

了解。

Monica

Hey.

嗨。

Chandler

Hey.

嗨。

Monica

Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.

听着，嗯，我想过了，我要你把所有的钱都花在婚礼上很不公平。我是说，你工作，你工作地很辛苦才赚来的。

Chandler

Ehh.

哦。

Monica

Eh, you work for that.

哦，你就是为了它们而工作的。

Chandler

Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.

听着，我也想过了，很抱歉。我想我们应该把钱都花在婚礼上。

Monica

You do?!

真的？

Chandler

Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then that's what we're gonna do.

是，我在脚踏实地。听着，我求婚时说过我会做任何事让你开心。如果举行一场完美的婚礼使你开心的话，那这正是我们要做的。

Monica

Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?

哦，你真好。（拥抱亲吻）哦，不过等等，那我们的，我们的未来和其它东西怎么办？

Chandler

Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.

哦，忘掉未来和其它东西吧！我们只要两个小孩，知道吗？我们挑一个最喜欢的然后让他去读大学。

Monica

You thought about that?

你想过这些了？

Chandler

Yeah.

是的。

Monica

How many kids were we gonna have?

我们本来会有几个小孩？

Chandler

Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.

嗯，四个，一个儿子，一对双胞胎女儿，又一个儿子。

Monica

What else did you think about?

你还想了些什么？

Chandler

Well, stuff like where'd we live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on it's collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.

嗯，像我们住在哪里呀，知道吗？比如城外的一个小地方，我们的孩子们可以在那里学着骑自行车什么的。知道吗，我们可以养只猫，在它脖子上拴上铃铛，当它从小门中进出时我们可以听到铃铛响。当然了，我们还要在车库里有个房间给乔伊养老。

Monica

(laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.

（笑）你知道吗，我，我不是想要一场盛大的，奢华的婚礼。

Chandler

Sure you do.

你想的。

Monica

No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.

不，我想要你刚才说的一切。我想要一场婚姻。

Chandler

You sure?

真的吗？

Monica

Uh-hmm.

啊哈。

Chandler

I love you so much.

我真爱你。

Monica

I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin' about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.

我爱你。（亲吻）嗨，听着，你刚才说起我们的未来时，你提到猫，但其实你是说狗，是吧？

Chandler

Oh yeah, totally!

哦，是的，绝对！

Monica

Oh good.

哦，那很好。

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Joey

Hello, Zelda.

你好，泽尔塔。

Rachel

Who are you supposed to be?

你想扮成谁？

Joey

The vicar!

神甫！

Rachel

Do you even know what a vicar is?

可你知道神甫是什么吗？

Joey

Like a goalie, right?

类似守门员，对吗？

Rachel

(sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, it's enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and it's---I'm not---it's just not funny anymore!

（讽刺地）对。听着乔伊，够了，好吗？你不停开这些乏味的玩笑和这些差劲的影射，它……我不是……它们一点儿也不好笑！

Joey

All right, I'm sorry. Rach I---Rach I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)

好吧，抱歉。瑞秋，我，瑞秋，我很抱歉。行了吧，我很抱歉！也许我应该补偿一下，比如，在谷仓里粗野地占有你。（咯咯笑）

Rachel

All right! Y'know what? That's it! You wanna do it?! Let's do it!

够了！你知道吗？就这么办！你想做吗？那我们就做！

Joey

Huh?

啊？

Rachel

(starting to move closer to him) That's right, I wanna do it with you! I've been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.

（开始靠近他）没错，我想和你做！我一直在挣扎着抗拒，但你刚才说的对。

Joey

(nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)

（紧张地后退）我-我-我说的对？（他把一个凳子放在她面前。）

Rachel

(moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, I've been waitin' so long to get on that body!

（把凳子挪开）是的！哦，这个身体我想了很久了！

Joey

This body? (He backs into the kitchen.)

这个身体？（他退进厨房。）

Rachel

Yeah that's right! Come on Joey; sex me up!

是，没错！来吧乔伊，上我吧！

Joey

Hey-hey, you're startin' to sound like the butcher's wife there in chapter seven.

嘿，你说话开始像第七章那个屠夫的老婆了。

Rachel

Oh, come on now, don't keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because you're in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)

哦，来吧，别让我等了。把衣服脱了！但要戴着头盔，因为我要你粗野地上我！（他退到门边。）

Joey

I don't want to, I'm scared.

我不想做，我怕怕。

(Rachel walks away, pleased with herself.)

（瑞秋走开，很满意。）

End

结束