The One Where Paul's The Man

Phoebe

(dejected) Hi, you guys.

（沮丧）你们好。

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

What's the matter?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Well it's just---it's one of those situations that I just hate. Y'know? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.

我最不喜欢的情况发生了。按摩客户送我三张Morgan Chase博物馆参观票。

Joey

(nodding knowingly) Now you're thinking you gotta sleep with him.

（会意地点头）所以你得陪他睡觉。

Phoebe

No! No! It's just that he gave me three tickets and there are six of us!

不是！他只给了三张票，而我们一共六个人。

Chandler

I'll give up my ticket.

我弃权。

Joey

Me too.

我也让位。

Phoebe

Okay that's so generous!

你们真大方！

Chandler

And I think Ross is generous too.

罗斯也一定会大方。

Phoebe

Great! Okay then it's just us girls!

好得很！就我们女生去！

Monica and Rachel

(less than enthused) Great.

（不太热情）很棒。

Phoebe

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

So what-what is the exhibit.

展览内容？

Phoebe

It's mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.

图片展，女同性恋的爱情场面，并有视频游戏，附送三明治。

Joey

Oh man! (Hits Chandler)

天啊！（打钱德勒）

Ross

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!

罗斯，钱德刚刚把你周末去博物馆看女同志、吃三明治的大好机会给葬送了！

Ross

Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.

谢？不过我另有安排；我和伊丽莎白要出城。

Monica

Oh that's great!

厉害！

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Monica

I mean think about all the money that you're gonna make!

你要发财了！

Ross

Why? What?

啥？你说什么？

Monica

Well, her father pays you for baby-sitting right?

她老爸付钱请你带孩子？

Ross

No, no, that's funny. But maybe it's time to move on, let it go, y'know? Stop it! Besides, Rachel is going out with Elizabeth's father, so ah, he's much older than she is. Looks like I'm not the only one interested in fossils, huh?

呸，真有趣啊。是不是该放我们一马了，不许再提！再说，瑞秋还不是勾搭伊丽莎白她爸！他还不是比她老几十岁？好象会对化石感兴趣的，不单是我？

Rachel

I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.

你说那么多，只说明你的确对化石感兴趣。

Ross

Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.

好吧。以后瑞秋跟老保罗说悄悄话都需要大吼大叫。

(And walks up right behind Ross, and standard sitcom joke 2B follows with the person being insulted standing right behind the person doing the insulting while the rest of the people become frightened and try to warn the insulter about the insultee's presence.)

被侮辱的人站在侮辱者身后，其他人惊恐地试图警告侮辱者。）

Chandler

Ross.

罗斯。

Ross

Oh, come on you guys; that's funny! Y'know? Because he's need---he's got like a hearing aide y'know, 'cause-'cause y'know, 'cause he's all old, and...

难道你们不觉得好笑？他需要助听器！因为他太老了……

(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that he'll just be one second.)

（保罗笑着现身，结束标准情景喜剧笑话。然后保罗把罗斯拉到一边，告诉其他人他马上就好。）

Paul

Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, I've decided to accept the fact that you're going out with her.

好吧，罗斯，既然莎莎那么喜欢你，我本打算接受你和她交往的事实。

Ross

Really? That okay, that's great.

真的？太好了。

Paul

Yeah. But then I changed my mind. I'm funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now I'm telling you, I don't want you seeing my daughter anymore.

恩。但我改主意了，有趣吧。所以我警告了莎莎，现在我警告你，不许再跟我女儿见面。

Ross

All right look, I-I realize it upsets you.

好吧，就算你不满。

Paul

Yes it does.

我很不满。

Ross

But, Elizabeth and I are-are both adults and so I don't think there's really anything you can do about it.

但伊丽莎白和我都是成年人，所以你对我们无能为力。

Paul

I'll call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.

我打电话给校方，师生恋一曝光、你就会被炒。

Ross

Ohh! A man with a plan!

阴谋家！

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Phoebe

Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!

太帅了！你的照片重返名人墙！

Joey

I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin' up about something... Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now he's just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, I'll...

是啊，以前把照片贴上去时，我和Jim Belushi在墙上的地位不相上下。后来我被剧组炒了，他就把我挤下来了。看他，在笑我。自大狂Belushi，我……

Phoebe

(gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; we'd be great together!

（倒吸气）哦，这次，没准你会被挂在男主播Matt Lauer旁边！他冲我笑呢。我晓得，我们俩一定合拍！

(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)

（干洗店老板招呼完乔伊前面的客人，他们走向柜台。）

Joey

Hey! So I'm back.

嘿！我回来了。

The Dry Cleaner

Who are you?

你哪位？

Joey

Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesn't remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, I'm ready to go back up on the wall I'm the star of a new TV show.

崔乔伊！以前上过名人墙！（干洗店老板不记得）想起来了？我要回墙上去，现在我在新的电视剧里挑大梁。

The Dry Cleaner

(picking up a TV Guide) Show me in the table.

（拿起一本电视指南）翻给我看。

Joey

Oh well, it's not on TV yet.

还没演呢。

The Dry Cleaner

Well, then it's not on the wall yet.

那我不能挂你。

Joey

Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)

我给你带卷录影带来，可以吧？（走开）

Phoebe

So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauer's clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that haven't been cleaned yet?

你这里有Matt Lauer的衣服么？找找看？没洗过的？

(The dry cleaner just stares at her and she retreats.)

（干洗店老板只是瞪着她，她退开。）

Monica

Oh, I love museums!

哦，爱死博物馆了！

Rachel

Umm.

恩。

Monica

Soakin' up all the culture.

广泛吸收各类文化。

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Monica

Where do you want to start?

从哪里开始参观？

Rachel

Ooh, the gift shop!

礼品部！

Monica

Yeah!

好！

Phoebe

Hey, and then lunch.

然后去用餐。

Rachel

Oh, wait yes, but I can't eat too much. Paul is taking me out to dinner tonight, he said he has a big surprise planned.

但我不敢吃太多，保罗晚上带我出去吃饭，他说要让我大吃一惊。

Phoebe

Oh wow. What, do you think maybe he's gonna tell you that he's gay?

告诉你、他是同性恋？

Rachel

What?! No! Why?!

什么？不可能！你怎么这样说？

Phoebe

No reason! That would just be a really big surprise, right?

不为什么！那会让你大吃一惊对吧？

(A museum official enters with another man and woman.)

（一位博物馆官员和另一对男女进来。）

The Museum Official

(to the couple) You can put the aisle over here (points), and put the wedding ceremony right over here. (Points.)

（对那对夫妇）这里当过道，这边举办婚礼仪式。

Rachel

I didn't know you could get married here.

没想到这儿还可以办婚礼。

Monica

This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldn't put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean you'd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)

作为结婚场所，这里太美了。但我不会把这里当过道，而且我绝不在这边举办仪式！我是说，新人应该在美丽的拱门下宣誓。（房间入口处的拱门。）

The Museum Official

(To Monica) May I help you?

（对莫妮卡）需要帮忙吗？

Rachel

Oh sorry didn't mean to interrupt. It's just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?

抱歉打扰。这地方太美了，常办婚礼？

The Museum Official

Yes. We're very popular. There's a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)

对。我们这里很受欢迎。排队的都轮到两年以后了。对不起！（她有点生气地带着那对夫妇离开。）

Rachel

Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list

莫妮，赶快报名排队！

Monica

What?! Are you crazy?! I'm not getting married! I'm not even engaged.

你疯了？我没结婚计划！我甚至还没订婚。

Phoebe

Yeah, but there's a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. That's four years. Chandler's not gonna wait that long. He's gonna find somebody else, y'know? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)

不是还要等两年吗？万一你在两年后订婚？还要再等两年、才能到这里结婚，一共四年。钱德才不会等那么久。他会找别的女人，找报了名的女人。（瑞秋同意。）

Rachel

Yeah hon, it can't hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if you're not engaged you just don't use it.

宝贝，报个名又没有坏处！如果你2年后还没订婚，你就放弃机会。

Monica

Well, I mean I guess there is no harm in putting my name down.

有道理。

Rachel

I'm gonna do it too!

我也报名！

Phoebe

Me too!

我也要！

Rachel

Really? Who would, who would you marry?

是吗？新郎是谁？

Phoebe

I don't know, I don't have anyone right now. Y'know?

不晓得，暂时没有人选。

Rachel

Oh Pheebs.

菲菲。

Phoebe

Don't feel too sorry for me. At least my boyfriend isn't gay.

别为我难过，至少我男朋友不是同性恋。

Monica

Phoebe, that stuff is...

这种事……

Phoebe

Don't even get me started on yours!

别招我批评钱德！

Joey

(entering) Hey! So, did you watch the tape of my show?

（进来）看过我拿来的带子了吗？

The Dry Cleaner

I did.

看了。

Joey

All right, let's get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)

我能上墙了吗？（递出照片。）

The Dry Cleaner

No! It don't go up on the wall!

不准！

Joey

What---But you saw the show!

你不是看了我的片子？

The Dry Cleaner

Yes, it was very offensive to my people!

恩，这片子冒犯了我们！

Joey

Dry cleaners?

冒犯了干洗店一族？

The Dry Cleaner

Russians! It showed them as terrorists and villains!

冒犯了俄国人！片子里俄国人全是恐怖分子和恶棍！

Joey

Okay! Okay, look! You-you-you got Harrison Ford up there!

那Harrison Ford还不是在墙上？

The Dry Cleaner

That's right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!

Ford先生是很好的顾客。他拿很多衣服来洗；你从不照顾我们生意！

Joey

Okay well that may be true. But, in-in okay, Air Force One the Russians were terrorists! And evil! And plus he kills a bunch of them! That-that-that's offensive to Russians.

你说得也许对，但是，《空军一号》，你不反感吗？片子里俄国人是恐怖分子！坏蛋！Ford先生对俄国人大开杀戒！那才是冒犯俄国人呢。

The Dry Cleaner

I've never seen it!

没看过！

Joey

Oh you should, it's great.

你该看看，很棒。

(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)

（干洗店老板瞪着他，乔伊退开。）

Ross

This place is really beautiful!

好地方！

Elizabeth

Yeah, I've been coming here since I was a kid. This used to be my Grandma's.

我从小就常来住，这是我祖母传下来的房子。

Ross

Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyes---Do-do you want to make out?

哇！我祖母传下来的唯一遗产是她的眼睛。当然不是她的眼珠子，但人家都说我的眼睛长得像——来鬼混？

Elizabeth

Sure!

好呀！

(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)

（他们倒在沙发上开始亲热，但罗斯突然停下。）

Elizabeth

Are you okay? What's wrong?

你怎么了？

Ross

Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.

我想起你爸爸。

Elizabeth

Well, whatever works for ya...

只要你兴奋就行……

Ross

No. No-no uh, he just, he just really freaked me out before.

不是的，他挺吓人的。

Elizabeth

Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, it's kinda fun hiding.

那我们还得多瞒一个人。瞒着父亲大人。对了，偷偷摸摸挺好玩的。

Ross

Yeah.

对。

(They start making out again.)

（他们又开始亲热。）

Elizabeth

(quietly) Hey umm, you brought protection right?

（轻声）嘿，你带防具了？

Ross

(loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.

（大声）啊？这里有熊出没？（环顾四周，然后看到伊丽莎白摇头，意识到她的意思。）哦，防具。哦，没带，我给忘了。

Elizabeth

I'll just run to the store and get some.

我跑去店里买。

Ross

Oh no! Hey-hey, I'm the guy! I'll get it.

应该由男人去买！

Elizabeth

Do you know where the store is?

你知道商店在哪里？

Ross

No.

不知道。

Elizabeth

Do you want to ride around town on my little pink bicycle?

想骑着我的粉红单车满城转悠吗？

Ross

A little bit.

有点想。

Elizabeth

(laughs) I'll be back in ten minutes.

（笑）我十分钟内回来。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Elizabeth

Why don't you get in the hot tub and I'll meet you there.

你泡个澡，我到浴缸里找你。

Ross

Ohh, okay.

行。

(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and...)

（伊丽莎白离开，罗斯就在客厅中央开始脱衣服，可能会被人看到。当然，差点有人看到，他听到开门声……）

Rachel

(from another room) Oh my God, what a great surprise! This is such a beautiful house.

（从另一个房间）天啊，惊喜！这房子真漂亮。

(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)

（罗斯裤子褪到脚踝想要跑，但盖勒博士忘了裤子还在脚踝，试图逃跑时摔倒了。）

Paul

(To Rachel) Thank you, it's my mom's. So this is the kitchen.

（对瑞秋）谢谢，家母的房子。这边是厨房。

(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clichéd scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)

（古生物学博士盖勒博士想找个地方藏起来，但这个本该聪明的人，在陈词滥调的编剧手中，像三个臭皮匠一样裤子褪到脚踝跑来跑去。）

Chandler

(on machine) You've reached Monica and Chandler's, if you're listening to this message, we're probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.

（在答录机上）这里是莫妮和钱德的家。当你听到这条消息，我们也许正在监听以决定是否接电话。（自言自语）的确。

The Museum Official

(on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available... (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)

（电话）我是Morgan Chase博物馆的Heldi。我找莫妮·盖勒。有客户取消预定，若莫妮小姐仍有兴趣在本馆与宾家联姻，请把握机会……（钱德勒跑去接电话。）

Chandler

(on phone) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (Listens) Yes, the groom---No! Not the groom!!

（打电话）我就是钱德·宾！新郎倌？错！

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

It's so secluded up here.

这里好象与世隔绝。

Paul

I know. I like it up here.

对。我喜欢这里。

Rachel

I feel like we're the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)

全世界好象只有我们“俩”。（她放下酒杯，拿起一颗核桃，把另一颗碰到地上。）抱歉。（她弯腰去捡，罗斯递给她。罗斯躲在沙发下面，吓得瑞秋尖叫。）

Paul

What's the matter honey? Did you see a little mouse?

怎么了？看见一只小老鼠？

Rachel

No-no! Big bear! Big bear outside! I think I-I---would you---actually, would you go check on that?

不！大熊！在外面！我去——要不你去，查看一下？

Paul

Honey, we don't have any bears here.

宝贝，本地没有熊出没。

Rachel

Well, okay. Would-would you get me a Diet Coke?

好吧。拿瓶健怡给我好吗？

Paul

Okay. I'll be right back. (Gets up and heads for the kitchen.)

好，马上回来。（起身走向厨房。）

Rachel

Okay. (After Paul leaves Rachel drops to the floor to confront Ross.)

好。（保罗离开后，瑞秋趴到地上质问罗斯。）

Rachel

What?! What are you doing here?!

你在这里搞什么飞机？

Ross

What are you doing here?!

那你又跑来这里干什么？

Rachel

I came with Paul!

保罗带我来的！

Ross

Yeah, I recognize the ankles!

从他脚踝也认出来了！

Rachel

Get up!

滚出来！

Paul

(entering) Here you go honey! (Rachel kicks Ross back under the couch.)

（进来）给，宝贝。（瑞秋把罗斯踢回沙发底下。）

Rachel

Ahh. Thank you!

谢谢！

Paul

Diet Coke. (Hands her the glass.)

健怡可乐。（递给她杯子。）

Rachel

Op, ice. I need ice.

哦，冰！我要加冰！

Paul

Okay.

好。

Rachel

Thank you.

谢你。

Paul

I'll be right back. (He goes to get the ice.)

马上回来。（去拿冰。）

Ross

(under the couch) You and your ice.

（沙发下）你还要加冰。

Rachel

Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! He's in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)

呃！滚出来！（罗斯起身走向厨房）不！别去厨房！他正在里面！

Ross

(before entering) Did you really hear a bear?

（进去前）你当真听到熊的动静？

Rachel

Go-go!

快跑！

Paul

(entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.

（进来）宝贝，给。加冰健怡。

Rachel

Ohh, thank you.

多谢。

Paul

I'm so happy that you're here.

真高兴你来了。

Elizabeth

(entering) Here I am!

（进来）我回来了！

Paul

(jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeth's here! Who are you talking to?

（跳起来）伊丽莎白！哦，伊丽莎白来了！你跟谁讲话？

Elizabeth

Uh, you guys?

跟你们？

Paul

How did you know we were here?

你怎么知道我们来了？

Elizabeth

Umm...

恩……

Rachel

Well, she-she ob-obviously saw the tire tracks that were leading up to the closed garage.

她肯定看见车库关上了，门前有轮胎印。

Elizabeth

Obviously.

没错。

Paul

Elizabeth, what are you doing here?! (Motions that he brought Rachel here to be alone with her.)

伊丽莎白，你跑来干嘛？（示意他带瑞秋来是想单独相处。）

Rachel

Did-did you come up here to work on that term paper or something?

你来写学期报告吗？

Elizabeth

Yeah! Yep.

正是！

Rachel

Well, why do y'know go in that room (points to the room Ross is in) and do your homework?

不如你到那间房去写？

Elizabeth

Ohh, I wouldn't do it in there. That's my dad's bedroom.

不，那是我爸爸的卧房。

Rachel

That's your, that's your dad's bedroom. (Yelling) That's your dad's bedroom!

是你爸爸的卧房！你吼什么？

Paul

Why are you yelling?

你吼什么？

Rachel

Whoa, that Diet Coke just went straight to my head! Woo!

可乐起作用了！哇！

Monica

Hi, honey.

宝贝。

Chandler

(gets up) See you later. (Starts to leave.)

（起身）呆会见。（准备离开。）

Monica

What? I-I bought groceries, I was gonna make you dinner!

啊？我买了菜，正想给你做饭呢！

Chandler

(angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)

（生气）那你下次问清楚先！或者，你至少等我先开口问你！（冲出去。）

(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)

（莫妮卡放下菜，去检查答录机，听到。）

The Museum Official

(on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. I'm calling for Monica Geller.

（答录机）喂，我是Morgan Chase博物馆的Heldi，我找莫妮·盖勒。

Monica

Oh no!

不要！

The Museum Official

(on machine) I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if she's still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available...

（答录机）有客户取消预定，若莫妮小姐仍有兴趣在本馆与宾家联姻，请把握机会……

Monica

Oh please, he didn't hear it! He didn't hear it!!

他没听见！他没听见！

Chandler

(on machine) This is Chandler Bing! This is Chandler Bing! (The machine beeps off.)

（答录机）我就是钱德·宾！（答录机哔一声关掉。）

Monica

NOOOO!!!!!!!!

不！！！！

Female Clerk

Can I help you?

有何贵干？

Joey

Uh yeah, where-where's the guy who decides who's pictures go up on the wall?

负责名人墙的那家伙呢？

Female Clerk

He's not here right now.

他不在。

Joey

Oh, you're kidding me! All-all right, well make sure you tell him that Joey Tribbiani stopped by to drop off all of these clothes. Okay? I'm an actor; I'm kinda getting my picture up there on the wall.

不会吧！你务必告诉他，崔乔伊送洗一大堆衣服！我是个演员；我的照片要挂到墙上。

Female Clerk

Y'know, there are two people who could put your picture up there. (She makes eyes at him.)

有两个人有权利把你的照片挂上去。（她向他使眼色。）

Joey

Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) You're the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)

真的？要不你陪我出去喝两杯？你就是另外那个对不对？（她想了一下，点头。）

Paul

So Lizzie, are-are-are you planning on staying the night?

莎莎，今晚你要留下过夜？

Elizabeth

Oh no-no believe me, I'm leaving as soon as possible!

我立刻消失！

Paul

Good. Good. Not that we don't want you to stay, obviously you're welcome---How much more homework do you have?

好。并非我们赶你走，我们很欢迎你——还有多少作业？

Elizabeth

Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?

只剩一个问题。瑞秋，你上楼帮帮我？

Rachel

Really? Okay. Okay, I-I'll go upstairs. (to Paul) If-if you get me something from the car.

啊？好。（对保罗）帮我到车里拿点东西？

Paul

What do you need from the car?

需要什么？

Rachel

Surprise me.

给我点惊喜。

Paul

(whispering) Okay. (Starts for the car.)

（低语）好。（走向车。）

Rachel

(yelling) So you're gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and that's where everybody's gonna be!

（喊）你到车库，我上楼，这里就空无一人！

(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)

（瑞秋和伊丽莎白上楼。保罗走向车，但注意到他的行李还在外面，决定拿进卧室。）

Paul

(standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, you're doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She... Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Y'know why? Because you're a (pause) neat guy. (Ross can't believe what he's hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. You're just a love machine. (Starts singing) I'm just a love machine and I won't work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) I'm just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)

（站在镜子前自言自语）放轻松，保罗，你表现很好。（罗斯挪动一件行李以便能看到保罗。）她喜欢你，她有可能喜欢你。为什么呢？因为你爱干净。你是她的心上人，猛男！魅力不减当年，优雅、够性感。你不过是爱的机器。（开始唱）“我这部爱的机器啊，只为你开动！嗨，宝贝！”（弯曲肌肉，大声咕哝）演出开始。（准备离开，边走边唱）“我这部爱的机器啊”（又咕哝一声，罗斯惊呆了。）

Monica

Phoebe!

菲比！

Phoebe

Yeah?

恩？

Monica

Have you seen Chandler?!

看见钱德吗？！

Phoebe

No! Why?

没！咋了？

Monica

The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!

博物馆来电话，说有人取消预约，我的预定提前了，电话被钱德接到了！（菲比倒吸一口气）这很严重吗？

Phoebe

Well for the regular guy, it's bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!

普通的男人会觉得严重，但钱德听见，天啊！

Monica

I know! I know! And he totally freaked out and I can't find him anywhere!

我晓得！他吓得落荒而逃，没影了！

Phoebe

What are you gonna do?

你怎么办？

Monica

Well, I'm never gonna listen to you again, that's for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Y'know, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"

哼，我再也不听你教唆了。还说什么“报个名也没什么坏处”。

Phoebe

Rachel said that!

是瑞秋说的！

Monica

Well Rachel's not here! (Runs out.)

但瑞秋现在不在！（跑出去。）

Phoebe

Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)

哦！我看见了！（注意到门边的照片。）乔伊！你的签名怎么“衰人”？

Joey

I didn't do that! Who would've done that?!

不是我干的！我怎么会这样签？！

The Dry Cleaner

(entering) Son of a bitch!

（进来）衰人！

Phoebe

Okay, maybe ask this guy.

问问他。

The Dry Cleaner

You, get out of my shop!

你，给我滚出去！

Phoebe

Well, what did he do?

他做什么坏事了？

The Dry Cleaner

He went out with my wife!

他和我老婆乱搞！

Phoebe

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, I-I---Hey! I did not go out with your wife! (The same woman from before enters.) Okay? I went out with her! (Points at her.)

什么？我才没有和你老婆乱搞！（之前那个女人进来）我跟她好！

The Dry Cleaner

That's my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and I'm betting he's not saying pleasant things about him.)

她就是我老婆！滚！（开始用俄语对他大喊，我打赌不是什么好话。）

Phoebe

Well, we should go.

我们走吧。

Joey

Yeah.

好。

Elizabeth

Ross? Ross?

罗斯？罗斯？

Ross

Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) I'm gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) I'll meet you at the front door. Just tell them you're going home, okay?

伊丽莎白！（他打开一个他蜷缩进去的床头柜）好了。（她帮他出来）我爬窗出去。前门见。你跟他们说你回家去，好！

Elizabeth

Okay!

好！

Rachel

(yelling from the living room) Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Don't go in there! Don't go in there! I need another soda!

（从客厅喊）等一下！先别进去！我还需要一杯苏打水！

(Ross frantically starts to open the window as Paul enters and traps him halfway out the window.)

（罗斯慌乱地打开窗户，保罗进来，把他卡在窗户的一半。）

Paul

Ross!

罗斯！

Rachel

Oh my God Ross! What in heaven's name are you doing here?

天啊，罗斯！你在这里搞什么名堂？

Ross

(to Elizabeth) And that is why we cannot see each other anymore.

（对伊丽莎白）所以，我们还是不要再见面了。

Paul

Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.

罗斯，我们单独谈谈。

Elizabeth

Daddy!

爸！

Paul

You're next!!

下一个跟你谈！！

Elizabeth

Okay. I didn't know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)

好。（跑向瑞秋。）

Paul

Let me just see if I got this straight. I tell you to stay away from my daughter or I'll have you fired. What you heard was, "Take my daughter, come up to my country house, and ruin my weekend with Rachel!"

“和我女儿好，光临我家别墅，坏我和瑞秋的好事！”

Ross

Okay, please-please Paul, just let me explain...

保罗，听我解释……

Paul

No, let me explain! Fired!!

炒鱿鱼！！

Ross

All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)

好！大不了失业！不过，你得知道，你我并无分别。我也爱干净。（保罗看着他。）

Paul

(panicked) What?

（惊慌）什么？

Ross

And I too am just a love machine. (Hums a little bit and mimics Paul's flexing.)

我也是爱情机器。（哼了一小段，模仿保罗屈臂的动作。）

Paul

Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.

罗斯，我带你去客房。

Monica

(going over to him) I'm so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.

（走向他）抱歉。别怕。

Chandler

I'm not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)

我不怕。有什么好怕的？叫Heldi的女人打电话来，通知我们结婚，这很平常。（发出钱德勒式的声音。）

Monica

Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, what's the harm in that?

宝贝，那地方超美，我报名只是好玩！报个名也没坏处嘛。

Chandler

Right here! (Clucks like a chicken for some reason.)

是吗！（不知为何像鸡一样咯咯叫。）

Monica

Chandler, please don't think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel...

钱德，别以为我是想给你施压。都是菲比和瑞秋的主意。

Chandler

Phoebe and Rachel! So the people that knew about our wedding before me were you, Phoebe and Rachel, Heldi, and apparently some band called Starlight Magic 7 who are available by the way!

菲比和瑞秋！我要结婚了，你先知道，菲比和瑞秋先知道，Heldi先知道！轮出空挡的魔力星光乐队也知道了！

Monica

It was a mistake. Please don't take this to mean anything, because it doesn't.

我的失误。这没什么意义，别当真。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Yes, if it really doesn't mean anything, because you know that I'm just not ready...

没意义就好，我还没准备好。

Monica

I know! I know.

我知！

Chandler

Okay. (They hug.)

好。（拥抱。）

Monica

I'm gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that you're back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)

我去告诉乔伊你回来了。我真替你担心。（离开。）

Phoebe

(entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?

（从房间出来）她信了？

Chandler

Totally.

确信无疑。

Phoebe

So did Heldi show you the place?

Heldi带你看好场地了？

Chandler

Yeah, it's beautiful.

美仑美奂。

Phoebe

I can't believe you're gonna ask Monica to marry you!

天啊，你竟要向莫妮求婚了！

Chandler

I know.

是呀。

(They hug.)

（拥抱。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Joey

Hey Gunther.

嘿，甘德。

Gunther

Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.

卡布基诺端到11号桌，那人点小甜饼。

Joey

Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.

我只是来买一杯咖啡，外带。

Gunther

Do you still work here?

你还在这里上班？

Joey

No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? I'm sorry.

我辞职很久了。（停顿）我忘了通知你？抱歉。

Gunther

Oh that's cool, I was gonna fire you anyway.

没事，反正我要开掉你。

Joey

Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)

帅！（拿起咖啡离开。）

End

结束