The One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

Joey

The reactor's gonna blow in three seconds, we're never gonna make it!

还有三分钟反应堆就要爆炸了!我们没时间了!

Phoebe

You've got to get out of here! Save yourself!

你必须离开这里!赶快逃命吧!

Joey

No! I won't leave you!

不，我不会留下你一个人的

Phoebe

Don't worry about me, I'm a robot! I'm just a machine!!

别为我担心，我只是个机器人，充其量是部机器

Joey

No you're not! Not to me!

不，你不是，对我来说不是。天啊!

Phoebe

(she stops reading from the script) Oh my God.

（她停止读剧本）什么?我真的很有天份

Joey

What?

对，你很棒。

Phoebe

I am extremely talented!

好，让我们接着...... 我是说，我真的演得很带劲!

Joey

Yeah, you're great! Okay, let's take it from...

对，我认为我也不错

Phoebe

(interrupting) No, I mean I was really acting my ass off.

对，你跟石头似的，你不如我

Joey

Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.

你知道吗?我想现在已经够了

Phoebe

Oh yeah, you're solid. Yeah, you're just no me.

我不想别排练太多了

Joey

Y'know what? I think that's enough for now. Yeah. I don't want to be over rehearsed.

好。我一个人也能排练!

Phoebe

(tremendously overacting) Fine! I'll do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I don't need you or anybody else! I'm gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) You'll see!! You'll all see!!

（极其夸张地）我不需要你或是其他人帮忙!我自己就能搞定!等着瞧!你们等着瞧吧!

Opening Credits

片头字幕

Chandler

(To Joey) So uh, what's this thing you're auditioning for?

（对乔伊）这次试镜你要扮演什么角色?

Joey

Oh, it's a new TV show. Yeah. I'm up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. He's a, he's a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."

哦，那是个新开拍的电视节目。我将扮演其中的一个叫Mac Macaveli的角色，或是"Mac"!我是个侦探，我跟机器人搭档一起侦破案件。他是个具有人工智能的电子增强型的秘密特工或是"C.H.E.E.S.E"(英文缩写)

Rachel

So Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

所以是Mac和CHEESE?

Joey

That's the title! Yeah! Y'know they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.

电视剧就是这个名字!他们真的碰巧用了开头的字母"C.H.E.E.S.E"

Chandler

That is lucky.

这的确很巧。（怎么会是碰巧，这显然是有意取的名字）

Rachel

Huh---Wait so Joey if you get this, you're gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean you'll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big Mac---Hey! You love those!

乔伊，假如你得到这角色的话，你就有自己赖以成名的电视节目了。我是说，人们会叫你"大CHEESE"或是"大Mac"，嘿，这两种食物你都喜欢！（奶酪和通心粉）

Joey

Well, don't get your hopes up, because probably not gonna happen.

希望值别太高了。因为我有可能得不到那个角色。

Chandler

Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?

你为什么这样说，约瑟芬?（讽刺Joey太没信心）

Joey

I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just don't know if I'm good enough.

我是说想想看，伙计们。我自己的电视节目?我自己都不知道我行不行。

Phoebe

I am.

我知道我行。

Rachel

Joey, what are you talking about? You're a terrific actor.

乔伊，你在说什么，你是个很棒的演员。

Joey

You really think so?

你真的这样认为?

Rachel

Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!

噢，你怎么能问那样的问题?

Chandler

Whoa, she's pretty. (Mentioning the girl on TV)

噢，她的确很美。（指电视里的女孩）

Joey

Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.

对。而且她人也很好。她教了我很多表演的技巧，还有如何"掩饰尴尬"

Rachel

I'm sorry, what?

抱歉。什么，乔伊?

Monica

What?

什么?

Ross

Excuse me?

抱歉?

Joey

It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)

就像你一下要背很多台词，但是有时需要点时间才能想起下一句。所以当你想不起来的时候，你可以用专注的神情来掩饰这段时间。你知道，就像这样（做出一副闻屁的专注表情）

Chandler

Oh, ok.

哦，明白了

Joey

(there's a gunshot on TV) There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..." (Does the smell-the-fart look.)

（电视里一声枪响）我的镜头来了!我的镜头来了![电视里的乔伊]“华莱士太大。我是Drake Ramoray医生，你妹妹的神经外科医生。你妹妹患了一种.........”（做出闻屁的表情）

Joey

(on stage in an Austrian accent) Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)

（用奥地利口音在舞台上）Eva，我们合作得很愉快。而且我要说你的问题很明显了。（他开始载歌载舞）

Joey

I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt.

我扮演阿尔.卡西诺的臀部。怎么样?他去洗澡然后我是他的臀部

Monica

(trying not to laugh) Oh my God.

（强忍着不笑）噢，天啊!

Joey

C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!

怎么啦，伙计们?这是部真正的电影，阿尔.卡西诺也在里面，是部大制作!

Chandler

Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.

不，别误会。你知道，这是你应得的，这是你多年努力的成果。你的职业生涯终于取得突破了!

Joey

Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me!

好，笑吧。我不在乎。这是我千载难逢的机会。

Ross

You're right, you're right, it is.

没错，你说得对

Monica

Yes.

对。

Ross

So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?

你准备邀请我们参加你的首映会吗?（为了Joey的臀部?:)）

Joey

All right well, I'm outta here. Wish me luck.

好，我要出发了，祝我好运吧!

Phoebe

(overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!

（这次用歌曲夸张表演）（唱）祝你好运,我们都祝你好运!

Joey

Yeah, whatever. (Exits.)

对，管他怎样（离开。）

Ross

It's your turn.

轮到你了

Chandler

Oh, are we playing this?!

哦，我们正在下象棋吗?

Joey

(entering, dejectedly) Hey.

（沮丧地进来）嘿。

Chandler

Hey! How'd the audition go?

嘿！试镜还顺利吗?

Joey

Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldn't even be an actor!

糟透了。我没句台词说对了，我不该当演员的。

Ross

Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didn't go well but it really did go well?

等等。你是在假装试镜不顺利吧?而其实上很顺利?

Joey

Yeah, did I fool ya?

对，你们上当了吗?

Ross

Totally!

完全被骗了!

Chandler

So it did go well.

那么，一切很顺利。

Joey

Oh, it went amazingly well!

实在是非常好!

Ross

Great!

太好了!

Chandler

Oh that's great!

太好了!

Joey

Yeah-yeah, it's down to me and two other guys.

没错，最后就剩我和另外两个人。

Chandler

Oh my God!

哦，天啊!

Ross

Wow!

哇!

Joey

And I know both of them, they're really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials who's always getting chased by those big flowers...

而且我认识他们两个。他们都很不错。其中一个就是拍那个对那些巨大的花朵有敏感症广告的家伙。

Ross

Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)

噢，我喜欢那人（笑。）

Chandler

Oh-oh, what are you doing?

你怎么啦?

Ross

(stops laughing) What am I doing?

（停止笑）我怎么了?

Joey

I'm just so nervous! Y'know? The callback isn't until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!

你知道吗，我很紧张?要等到明天5点才有回音。我感到头都要炸了!

Chandler

Well, it is overdue.

哎，是超载了

Ross

Look, don't worry. Okay? You're gonna be fine.

别担心，好吗?你会没事的

Joey

There's just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I don't know if you'd understand.

对，但压力太大了。老实说，你们所面临的和我不一样，我不知道你们是不是明白

Ross

Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.

是啊，我们都不要承受工作的压力

Chandler

(on phone) Yes, Fran. I know what time it is, but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy!

（打电话）是的，Fran，我知道现在几点了。但是我正在看财务报表，而且不开心。

Monica

Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.

好了，我要剥开生菜

Interviewer

Uh-huh. Is it dirty?

很脏吗?

Monica

Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.

不，不，别担心。我会把它洗干净。

Interviewer

Don't, I like it dirty.

不要，我喜欢它脏点

Monica

That's your call.

按照你的意思吧

Interviewer

So, uh, what are you going to do next?

那么，你接着准备做什么?

Monica

Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.

噢，我想我该切那些西红柿了。

Interviewer

Are they, uh, firm?

它们没坏吧?

Monica

They'r alright.

还可以。

Interviewer

You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?

你确定还没坏掉?你确定它们不是坏透了?

Monica

No really, they're OK.

它们还好。

Interviewer

You gonna slice them up real nice?

你会把它们都切成很漂亮吗?

Monica

Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.

实际上我要把它们切成条。

Interviewer

Aaaahhhhhhh.

啊——！

Monica

I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]

我走了!

Rachel

(on the phone) Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! (Pause) I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)

（打电话）莫妮卡，我不想干了!我刚帮了一个81岁的老太太系上皮带，而她竟然没有买!（停顿）我告诉你我不干了。就这样，我现在就要去跟老板说。（停顿）没错，我马上就去!马上就去!马上就去!好了，当你听到这口信的以后打电话给我。（挂断。）

Monica

Well, what happened?

哎，怎么了?

Phoebe

Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... (The flashback shows Paulo lying face down on the massage table and slowly moving his hands up Phoebe's legs and grabbing her butt.)

哎，他来按摩，本来挺好的直到..（闪回中保罗脸朝下躺在按摩床上，慢慢把手移到菲比腿上，抓住她的屁股。）

All

Ohhhhhh!

噢，天啊!

Ross

Oh my God!

噢，天啊!

Phoebe

And all of the sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (The flashback shows Paulo rolling over and showing Phoebe his equipment.)

然后他的手也就不算什么问题了。（闪回中保罗翻过身，向菲比展示他的家伙。）

Monica

Was it...

他那儿...?

Phoebe

Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!

童子军都能在那扎营了。

Ross

You ate my sandwich?

你吃了我的三明治？

Dr. Leedbetter

It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.

那纯粹是个失误，绝不会再发生了。

Ross

(getting upset) Oh-oh really?

（不高兴）啊，真的?

Dr. Leedbetter

Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.

冷静点。到我办公室来，也许还剩下一些在垃圾袋里。

Ross

(jumping to his feet in anger) What?

（生气地跳起来）你说什么!?

Dr. Leedbetter

Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.

好吧，也许还剩下很大块。大部分都被我扔了。

Ross

You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!

你－你－你－你把我的三明治扔掉了?

Ross

(losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!

（失控，听到他在外面大喊）我的三明治?!!!

Ross

MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)

我的三明治!!!!!!（罗斯的尖叫吓飞了一群鸽子。）

Joey

I want this part so much! Y'know? If I don't get this part I'm never gonna eat Macaroni and Cheese again!---No, I didn't say that! That's a lie.

我只很想得到这角色，你知道吗?假如失败的话我就再也不吃通心面(Macraoni)和奶酪(Cheese)了。不，我没那样说过,那不算的。

Chandler

Oh come on guys, it's not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it weren't for (struggles to get this out) Monica's allergies. (The duck quacks.) You're right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joey's not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)

别这样，各位，我又不是要搬去欧洲，我只是搬到了对面。而且你们随时能过来。当然假如莫妮卡的不会过敏的话（鸭子嘎嘎叫）你是对的，我不能骗你们。她讨厌你们。（电话响）我该接吗?（笑，然后接电话）喂?（听）不，乔伊现在不在。我能留口信吗?（听）对，好。试镜时间从5点改到2点30分?（听）好，很好。再见（挂断电话，去门上的磁力画板上留言，但莫妮卡走进来，迫使他跳开。）

Monica

(startled) Ahh! Aren't you dressed yet?

（惊吓）你不是穿了衣服了吗?

Chandler

(looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!

（低头看衣服）我又裸体了吗?

Monica

We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.

我们15分钟后要见我父母。

Chandler

Yeah okay, I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them I mean, is it okay if they come visit?

好的，我只是在和他们说话。看看他们，我的意思是，他们到我们那没问题吧?

Monica

Wh?! What about my allergies?!

那我的敏感症呢?

Chandler

Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)

哦，对，你的敏感症。（莫妮卡离开，对小鸡小鸭）都是她的错，她不喜欢你们。（钱德勒没写完留言就离开了。）

Joey

Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?

进了!好极了!嘿，如果桌上足球有跟真实一样大小的版本，那多爽啊?我是说，那多疯狂啊!

Chandler

As crazy as soccer?

不就是像足球一样疯狂?

(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)

（电话响，乔伊接。）

Joey

(on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The audition's not 'til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Who'd you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)

（打电话）喂?（听）你说什么?试镜不是在5：00吗?（钱德勒突然想起，看着没写完的留言，然后蹑手蹑脚过去想写完）噢，没有人告诉我啊?（听）你告诉谁了?（听，转身看到钱德勒在写留言）算了吧。（挂断。）

Chandler

You mean you didn't get it from this?

你是说你没有看到我的留言吗?

Joey

The allergy guy got the part! Thanks!

那个有敏感症的家伙得到了那角色。多亏你了。

Chandler

Well, maybe we can fix it y'know? Maybe we can send him some-some big-big flowers and scare him!

也许我们能弥补的，你知道吗？也许我们能送他些大花去吓吓他!

Joey

How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part could've turned my whole career around!

你怎么能这样对我，钱德勒?那角色能扭转我的整个演艺生涯

Chandler

I messed up. Okay? I'm sorry, I really messed up.

我的错，好吗?我很抱歉，我的确弄砸了。

Joey

Hey, you don't even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!

你都已经不住在这里了。你干嘛要接听我的电话?我可以录音的!

Chandler

Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybody's allowed one mistake, right?

那是我为你买的。还是我教你怎么用的。你原以为那是部复印机。假如我能为你做什么，我一定会做，知道吗?但是谁都会犯错，不是吗?

Chandler

You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!

他可以送我录影机，或是一对高尔夫球杆也可以。但是没有，反而送我那个"女人回避器"看了碍眼，戴了碍事儿

Phoebe

It's not that bad.

没那么惨啦。

Chandler

Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]

你当然说得容易了!你又不用走来走去炫耀怪头不要的东西

Phoebe

Chandler, Chandler.

钱德勒，钱德勒

Chandler

I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!

我同情戴着首饰的笨蛋!我同情那笨蛋...（转身看到乔伊）嗨!

Chandler

Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and...

昨晚你迟到以后，Kathy和我谈了谈，接着另一件事发生了。

Joey

And what?! Did you sleep with her?!

什么?!你跟她上床了?

Chandler

No! No! No! I just kissed her.

没有!没有!我只是吻了她。

Joey

What?!! That's even worse!!

什么?!那更糟!

Chandler

How is that worse?!

怎么会更糟?!

Joey

I don't know! But it's the same!

我不知道!但那都不行!

Chandler

You're right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.

是的,我没有借口!我是完全过线了。

Joey

Over the line?! You-you're-you're so far past the line, that you-you can't even see the line! The line is a dot to you!

过线?!你.你过线过..过了这么多!你甚至..甚至看不到线在哪!你根本就当它不存在!

Chandler

Look, I'm not saying that you should magically forgive me! But you're not perfect! You've made some errors in judgment too!

瞧，我不奢望你马上原谅我。但是你也不是完美的，你也犯过一些错。

Joey

Name one!

说一个!

Chandler

(lets him out) What happened?!!

（放他出来）怎么了?

Joey

(getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!!

（出来）噢，伙计!他说了他不会拿走那椅子的。

Chandler

What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!

到底发生什么了?你怎么会被锁进去的?我们的东西都哪里去了?

Joey

Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didn't think big enough to fit a grown man!

是这样，那个人来看这个柜子，然后他说他不相信那里能装得下个大人。

Chandler

So--You got in voluntarily?!

所以你进去来证明?

Joey

I was tryin' to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what I'm gonna do?

我只是想把它卖出去!伙计，假如我再看到那人你知道我会怎么做?

Chandler

BEND OVER?!!!

向他屈服?

Chandler

Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.

好，切记，不准交换。你有美女相伴，我有贱货作陪

Lorraine

Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.

Hi，乔伊。（看到钱德勒）Hey。哇噢，瞧你带什么人来，真帅。

Chandler

...And what did you bring?

你带谁来?

Lorraine

She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.

她在放外套。乔伊，我要去洗掉我手上的味道，你帮我和珍妮丝点萄葡酒和红酒

Chandler

Janice?

珍妮丝?

(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)

（洛琳离开。乔伊摇头，好像说"不可能是那个珍妮丝"。珍妮丝进来。）

Chandler

Janice?!

珍妮丝?!

Janice

Oh.... my.... God.

噢－天－啊!

Chandler

Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.

乔伊的裁缝占了我便宜。

Ross

What?

什么?

Joey

No way! I've been going to the guy for 12 years.

不可能。我认识那人有l2年了。

Chandler

Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...

噢，他说他要量我的内接缝，然后他举起我的脚，那绝对是...

Ross

What?

什么?

Chandler

Cupping.

举杯。

Joey

That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?

他们是这样做裤子的!罗斯，你会告诉他吗?裁缝是那样量裤子的吗?

Ross

Yes, yes it is. In prison!

对，是的，但是是在牢里!

Joey

I said name one!

我说了只说一个例子的!

Commercial Break

广告时间

Chandler

I can't believe I did this! What an idiot!

真不相信我做了什么，我是个笨蛋。

Monica

Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There aren't any message you've forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently you're not very good at it! I...

别再自责了。人都会有错的。这些事情总是会发生的。我希望你没有忘了有口信给我吧，有吗?（钱德勒一脸厌恶）显然，你不是很在行

Chandler

Do you think he'll ever forgive me?

你认为他会原谅我吗?

Rachel

Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!

当然会!钱德勒，但最重要的是你要原谅你自己

Chandler

Y'know what? I-I kinda have.

你知道吗，我好像已经原谅自己了。

Rachel

Already? That's pretty bad what you did.

这么快？那你是够糟的。

Monica

Y'know what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case... (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay...

你知道吗?他会原谅你的。我听电话的时候要戴个衬垫，以防万一，好了?

Chandler

You didn't see how mad he was, y'know?

你不知道他有多生气

Rachel

I'm sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Y'know, you fight, you make up, it's just the way it works.

我保证他会原谅你的。看，我们都遇到过这种情况。你们为自己挑起的问题争吵，生活就是这样

Ross

It took two people to break up this relationship!!

记住，分手是两个人的事！！

Rachel

Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!

对!就是你和复印室的那女孩，就象昨天你承认的，所有的责任都是你的！！

Ross

I didn't know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn't finish the whole letter!

我根本就不知道我付了全部的责任。我没看完整封信

Rachel

What?!!

什么?我睡着了！

Ross

I fell asleep!

你睡着了?

Rachel

(mocking him) You fell asleep?!

（模仿他）你睡着了?

Ross

It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are,' Y-O-U-R means 'your!'

那可是凌晨的5点半，你却洋洋洒洒写了l8页纸。而且是正反两面!（他们走进客厅，把莫妮卡、钱德勒和乔伊困在厨房）（对瑞秋）噢，噢，还有。Y－O－U－'－R－E意思是你是！Y－O－U－R意思是你的

Rachel

Y'know I can't believe I even thought about getting back together again! We are so over!!

你知道吗？我真不相信我居然还希望跟你复合。我们彻底完了！！

Ross

(starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)

（开始哭）求之不得！！（他打开门，把钱德勒困在门后）

Rachel

And hey! Just so you know, it's not that common! It doesn't happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!

嘿！那你应该知道，它可不是普通的信！不是每个人都会收到这样的信的！是很大件事！！

Chandler

(coming out from behind the door) I KNEW IT!!!!

（从门后出来）我知道了!

Monica

You had no right to go out with him.

你没有权利跟他出去

Rachel

That is the most ridiculous...

那是太荒谬了

Monica

You sold me out.

你出卖了!

Rachel

I did not sell you out.

我没有出卖你!

Monica

Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...

不，你出卖了!你当然出卖了我！

Rachel

Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]

你还让我说话吗?（弹莫妮卡的额头）

Monica

Did you just flick me?

你是不是刚打了我?

Rachel

OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]

好，是你不让我把话说完的，我只是想，噢!（莫妮卡弹回来）噢!（弹莫妮卡）

(They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other.)

（她们继续互弹，变成了互扇。）

Phoebe

Oh! All right. Now, let's not do this!

够了!好了好了，别打了!

(Rachel tackles Monica onto the couch.)

（瑞秋把莫妮卡扑倒在沙发上。）

Phoebe

Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!

想开点!想开点!

(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it. This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)

（她们在沙发上扭打了一会儿，莫妮卡占了上风，抓住瑞秋的袜子把她拉下沙发。莫妮卡脱下瑞秋的袜子开始用袜子打她。这导致在地上扭打。终于惹怒了菲比。）

Phoebe

OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.

好，再不停我就要踢人屁股!

(Phoebe grabs each of them by an ear.)

（菲比抓住两人的耳朵。）

Monica and Rachel

Ow! Ow! Ow!

噢!噢!噢!

Phoebe

I know! I know! I know!

好。好。

Phoebe

Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.

好，现在我要你们都停嘴

Rachel

Fine!

好。

Monica

Fine!

好。

Phoebe

There we go. You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.

这样多好。你知道吗?假如我们坐牢了，你们就会是我的跟班。

Joey

Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.

好，伙计，你瞧。你把我衣服藏起来，我就把你所有的衣服穿上

Chandler

Oh my God!

噢，天啊!

Joey

Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

看看我，我是钱德勒!我还能再多穿点衣服吗?或许我不该不穿内裤的...

(Chandler does this throat sound.)

（钱德勒发出喉咙里的声音。）

Joey

Yeah. Whew, it's hot with all of this stuff on. I ah, I better not do any, I don't know, lunges. (starts doing lunges)

穿这么多真是热死我了。我最好还是别做箭步蹲。（开始做箭步蹲）

Chandler

Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) He's still got a chance for the part?! Oh, that's great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what he's writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.

乔伊?给你买了乔伊特点!两个比萨!乔?（电话响，他接）（打电话）喂?（意识到自己做了什么，把电话从嘴边拿开，大喊）糟了!（重新接）喂?（听）不，乔伊现在不在,但我"想"能留口信（听）他还有机会得到那角色?那是个好消息!（听）噢，不，很明显不是因为那个被狗咬伤的演员而幸灾乐祸。哎，那太好了我一定会告诉乔伊的。谢谢你!（挂断，去磁力画板上留言）好!（读）好，Mac在2点试镜。有敏感症的家伙受伤了。（停顿）是被狗，不是花。

Joey

Hey!

嘿!

Chandler

Please tell me you got the message!

请告诉我你收到了口信！

Joey

What message?

什么口信?

Chandler

The actor playing Mac couldn't do it, they needed to see you at 2 o'clock.

那演Mac的演员不能去演了，他们要你2点去。

Joey

What?! It's 6 o'clock!

什么?是6点!

Chandler

Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Ross's! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!

看!我写下了!我写在板上了!我都写了下来，然后还在整个纽约找你!我去了罗斯家，咖啡馆，我还去了所有卖三明治的地方!

Joey

I can't believe this Chandler!

我真不敢相信，钱德勒!

Chandler

Sorry! I-I-I don't know what to say.

抱歉，我不知道该说什么!

Joey

Well you-you-you-you might say congratulations! I saw the board! I went to the audition! I got the part!!

你也许该说"恭喜你!"我看到了留言板，我去试镜了，我得到了那角色!

Chandler

(angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!

（生气）那很有趣吗?我一直在这里干着急呢!

Joey

Oh, well I'm uh...

哦，我，嗯。

Chandler

Y'know, sometimes that fake out thing is just mean!

你知道吗?有些骗人的事实在很恶劣!

Joey

Oh wow! Okay man, I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.

好，伙计。抱歉,我不是故意让你难受的

Chandler

Well that's good. Because you didn't! And I'm incredibly happy for ya!!

哎，没什么。因为你不是有意的!而且我高兴得不得了!

Joey

(shocked) That's mean! You really had me going there!

（震惊）这才恶劣!我已经去了!而且是你告诉我的。

Chandler

Oh, we could do this all day.

这个能让我们争论一整天。

Joey

Yeah, you're right. Okay look, listen, let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be!

对，没错。想想看，我就要成为巨星了!

Chandler

You are gonna be a huge star! I'm gonna hug ya!

你要当明星!让我们来个拥抱!

Joey

You hug me!

你拥抱我。

Chandler

All right!

没问题。

Joey

Hey, do we do this too much?

我们是不是抱了太久了?

Chandler

I think so. Yeah, get off me.

我也这样想。好吧，松开好了

Joey

Yeah.

好。

(They separate.)

（他们分开。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Joey

Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., I'm not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.

加油，CHEESE，我不会丢下你的。我试着为你的主CPU接通后备电源

Phoebe

(overacting badly) I can't! My circuits are fried! They're fried I tell you!!

（演得很差）我做不到!我电路烧坏了了，我告诉你，坏了!

Joey

Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then I'll just have to carry you.

哇噢，那我只有抱着你了

(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, he's overacting too.)

（突然罗斯从柜台后面跳出来，拿着一把塑料枪。顺便提一下，他也演得夸张。）

Ross

That'll be a neat trick, when you're, (looks at the script) when you're dead!

在你死的时候你会发现这是个绝妙的陷阱。

Joey

Ross, you don't have to yell.

罗斯，你不必这么大声。

Ross

There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.

刚才发生了爆炸，知道吗?我的听力受损了。

Phoebe

I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, where'd Ross go?"

"噢，罗斯怎么还不出场?"

Ross

Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac...

谢了。我想说第一场你和Mac见面的时候。

Phoebe

Yeah?

哦，天啊。我是说

Ross

Oh my God. I mean...

你们知道吗?

Joey

Y'know what? I think that's enough for today. Thanks for your help! (He grabs their scripts and heads for his room.)

我想今天到此结束。谢谢你们的帮忙（他拿过剧本走向房间。）

Phoebe

(To Ross) He's holding us back.

（对罗斯）他拖我们后腿了。

Ross

Totally.

完全正确。

End

结束