The One Where Ross Can't Flirt

Ross

Hey!

嗨！

Chandler

Hey!

嗨！

Ross

Wow! You look nice. What's the occasion?

Wow！穿得这么漂亮。有什么大事吗？

Chandler

Monica and I are celebrating our ten-month anniversary, we've got reservations at Ja George.

今天是我和莫妮卡拍拖10个月的纪念日，我们在Ja George订了位子。

Ross

Wow! How'd you get in there?

Wow！你怎么订到的？

Chandler

Made a few calls, pulled some strings, and they agreed to seat us at 11:30 if we both had the chicken and didn't get desert.

打几个电话，暗中做些手脚，最后他们同意帮我们安排11:30的位子，因为我答应只点鸡肉而不叫甜品。

(There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it. It's the pizza delivery girl.)

（有人敲门，钱德勒开门。是送披萨的女孩。）

Delivery Girl

Hi Chandler!

嗨 钱德！

Chandler

Hey Caitlin! Somebody got a haircut.

嗨 凯特琳！你剪头发了。

Caitlin

Ugh, I hate it! I look like an 8-year-old boy.

哦，我讨厌这个发型！看起来就像个8岁的小男孩。

Chandler

Yeah, if that was true, gym class would've been a lot more interesting.

要是8岁的小男孩都长得像你，健身课可就有意思多了。

Caitlin

It's uh, 27 dollars even.

一共27块。

Chandler

Oh, okay. (Hands her the money.) Here you go.

好的。（把钱给她）给你。

(The duck starts quacking.)

（鸭子开始嘎嘎叫。）

Caitlin

Hey, where's the chicken?

嘿，小鸡去了哪里？

Chandler

Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.

哦，在里面。鸭子让它滚远点，说世界上是先有蛋后有鸡。

Caitlin

(laughs) Great. I'll see you later!

（笑）不错。再见啦！

Chandler

Okay, bye!

再见！

(He closes the door and turns to see Ross glaring at him.)

（他关上门，转身看到罗斯瞪着他。）

Ross

What the hell was that?!

你刚才在搞什么？

Chandler

What?

什么？

Ross

The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!

挑逗！你不是和某人在交往吗？是谁来着？我妹妹对吗？！

Chandler

I was not flirting.

我没有挑逗。

Ross

It was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut (Makes some whiney, nasally noises.)"

根本就是挑逗。你剪头发了（发出嘟嘟囔囔的鼻音）。

Chandler

Okay first of all, the impression, uncanny. And second, that was not flirting, that was just casual conversation between two people. That is all.

首先，你的话让我觉得，很离奇。其次，我没有挑逗，只不过两个人闲谈，仅此而已。

Ross

Yeah, right.

对，对。

Chandler

You wanna see flirting? I'll show you flirting. (Starts to move towards Ross.)

想见识真正的挑逗吗？我给你表演。（开始向罗斯移动。）

Ross

(backing away) I'm good.

（后退）不用了。

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!

乔伊真了不起，竟然能在《法律与秩序》里演出！

Phoebe

I know. But don't you think that it should be called Order and Law?

是啊。不过你不觉得应该叫做《秩序与法律》才对吗？

Rachel

No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.

不，因为他们是先把人抓起来，然后才审问。

Phoebe

Don't get me started on that.

好了，别给我抱怨他们的机会。

(Ross and Chandler enter with the pizzas.)

（罗斯和钱德勒拿着披萨进来。）

Chandler

I was not flirting.

我没有挑逗。

Ross

And on your anniversary, for shame!

还要是在纪念日，可耻！

Rachel

What's going on?

出了什么事？

Ross

Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!

钱德刚才跟送pizza的美女搭讪！

Chandler

I was not and oh God, shh!

我没有！求求你了，嘘！

Ross

Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.

真对不起可是你的确做了！而且，和她搭讪的那个人起码应该是个单身的，应该是个能和她有发展的。

Phoebe

Sounds like somebody wants to be Mr. Pizza Delivery Girl.

某人似乎看上了那个送pizza的美女，想做人家的老公哦。

Ross

Well...

这个......

Chandler

Is that what this is about? You like Caitlin?

就因为这个吗？你喜欢凯特琳？

(Ross looks at Rachel.)

（罗斯看着瑞秋。）

Rachel

Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.

罗斯！我们两年前就分手了，后来你还结了婚。我认为你可以喜欢其他的人。

Ross

Well, I-I was watching her the other day at the pizza place.

是这样，有一天我在pizza店里留意到她。

Rachel

Hm-mmm.

嗯。

Ross

And she's just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little...

她实在是非常性感，非常有趣，而且有最最可爱的小......

Rachel

Okay, y'know what? We don't need her measurements.

打住，我们不需要知道她的三围。

Phoebe

(looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!

（翻看披萨）辣香肠，辣香肠，辣香肠，罗斯，我知道她很漂亮，你喜欢她，可是她脑子没问题吗？她忘了我的素食pizza！

Ross

This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.

太好了！她一定会送来你的pizza，到时候我就能向她展示充满魅力的"哦，罗斯"。你不吃荤真是太好了。

Phoebe

See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.

看见了？素食主义，人人受益。

Joey

(entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!

（带着奶奶进来）嘿各位，瞧瞧！还记得我奶奶吗？

Rachel

Big night!

今晚真不一般！

Phoebe

This is so cool!

太棒了！

Chandler

So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!

乔伊在《法律与秩序》里演出，你一定很为他骄傲！

Joey

Chandler, she doesn't understand a word of English.

钱德，她听不懂英语。

Chandler

I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.

真对不起，我以为你是乔伊的外婆。（她只是瞪着他。）我又错了一次。

Joey

She's my biggest fan. Yeah, she's the only one in the family that's believed in me.

她最崇拜我了。她是我们家里唯一一个相信我实力的。

(They both start speaking Italian to each other.)

（他们开始互说意大利语。）

Joey

Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so...

对，大明星，我的大，胖子，乔伊，明星。我出生的时候差不多有27磅重。

Monica

(entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!

（从浴室出来）嗨！纪念日快乐！

Chandler

Happy Anniversary, 10 months! (They kiss.)

纪念日快乐，十个月了！（他们接吻。）

Monica

So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London...

嗯，刚才洗澡的时候我想起我们在伦敦的第一夜......

Chandler

Uhh, Joey's grandmother is right there. (Points)

哦，乔伊的祖母在那儿呢。

Monica

Is that the one that speaks English or the one that doesn't?

是那个懂英语的还是那个不懂的？

Chandler

The one that doesn't.

不懂的。

Monica

That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.

那一夜你真是热情如火！我要进去准备准备。

Chandler

Hey, why don't you wear those earrings I gave you?

嗨，不如戴上我送给你的那副耳环吧？

Monica

That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.

好主意！我一直留着它们，想等到特殊的日子才戴。

Chandler

Okay.

好的。

Monica

(runs over to Phoebe) You have got to go home!

（跑向菲比）你得回去了！

Phoebe

But I like it here!

可是我喜欢这儿！

Monica

You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.

你得回去把我借给你的耳环拿过来。钱德想让我今晚戴。

Phoebe

Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.

好吧，我好象就放在皮包里，你先去换衣服吧，我找找。

Monica

Great!

好的！

Phoebe

Okay! (Walks over to Rachel) Rach, hi, I need those earrings you borrowed.

（走向瑞秋）瑞秋，嗨，你得把那副耳环还给我了。

Rachel

Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back. (Goes to her room.)

哦，呃，好，等一会儿，我这就拿给你。（去她的房间。）

(Phoebe then starts speaking Italian to Joey's grandmother.)

（菲比开始对乔伊的奶奶说意大利语。）

Joey

Wow Pheebs, you speak Italian?

Wow 菲比，你会说意大利语？

Phoebe

I guess so.

我猜是吧。

Rachel

(She enters and hands Phoebe the earring) Here you go. Thank you!

（进来，把一只耳环递给菲比）给你。多谢啦！

Phoebe

Wait, Rach! Where's the other one?

等等，瑞秋！还有一只呢？

Rachel

Oh what, you-you want both of them?

怎么，你还想要两只？

Phoebe

Rachel Karen Green, where's the other earring?!

瑞秋.凯伦.格林，还有一只呢？！

Rachel

Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.

好好好，你千万别发火，我好象弄丢了。我知道就在这间屋子里，不过肯定找不到了。

Phoebe

Well, what am I going to tell Monica? She wants to wear them tonight!

你让我怎么向莫妮卡交代？她今晚要戴！

Rachel

Tell her to wear her own earrings.

让她戴她自己的。

Phoebe

These are her earrings.

这就是她的。

Rachel

Nooo! Nooooo! You lent me Monica's earrings?! I'm not allowed to borrow her stuff!

不是吧！不是吧！！你把莫妮卡的耳环借给我？！她不准我借她的东西！

Phoebe

Why not?

为什么？

Rachel

Because I lose her stuff!

因为我总是弄丢！

Joey

Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.

看见那个瞎子了吗？我等下要打他的头。

(His grandmother asks him something.)

（他奶奶问他什么。）

Joey

Oh umm, my big scene is coming up. Big scene coming up.

哦，我的镜头快到了。镜头，快到了。

Chandler

If you said, "Big lima bean, bubbling up." Would she understand the difference?

要是你说"筋斗怪跑了。"她能听出有什么区别吗？

Monica

(noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?

（注意到瑞秋在沙发后面爬）瑞秋？你在干什么？

Rachel

Oh boy, I just can't watch. It's too scary!

哦，我不敢看那个。太吓人了！

Monica

It's a diaper commercial.

现在放的是尿布广告。

Rachel

Oh yeah well, you know me, babies, responsibilities, ahhh!!!

哦，你了解我的，婴儿啊，责任啊，啊~~~

(There's a knock on the door.)

（有人敲门。）

Caitlin

Pizza delivery!

Pizza送到了！

Ross

I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)

我来了！我来开门！（跑过去开门。）

Caitlin

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

Hi!

嗨！

Caitlin

One uh, vegetarian pizza. That's $12.15.

一个素食pizza。12块5。

Ross

Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.

哦，顺便说一句，希望能让你感觉好一点。我碰巧喜欢8岁的小男孩。

Caitlin

What?!

什么？！

Ross

(I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.

呃，你的发型，刚才，我是说，你说你看上去像个8岁的小男孩，所以我说我喜欢。你的发型。

Caitlin

Oh. Thanks.

谢谢。

Ross

You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.

你明白吧？我并不是真的喜欢8岁的小男孩。

Caitlin

Y'know, all I'm looking for is the money.

你也明白吧？我在等你把钱给我。

Chandler

Here you go. (Hands her the money.) Now stop bringing us pizzas you.

我来给吧。（把钱给她）不用再给我们送pizza了。

Caitlin

I'm gonna try. (Walks away and Ross closes the door.)

我希望吧。（走开，罗斯关上门。）

Chandler

You're welcome.

不用客气。

Ross

You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!

你就是不想让我得手，是不是？

Chandler

What?

什么？

Ross

This is a girl that I really like and had too swoop in there!

一个我非常喜欢但不得不和别人去拼抢的女孩！

Monica

What's goin' on?

出了什么事？

Ross

Chandler was totally flirting with the hot delivery girl!

钱德大肆挑逗送pizza的美女！

Chandler

Thank you for that! (To Monica) I was not flirting.

谢谢你这么说！（对莫妮卡）我没有挑逗。

Monica

It's okay. I don't care. It's uh, it's fine.

没关系的。我不介意。这很正常。

Ross

Really?!

真的？

Chandler

Really?!

真的？

Monica

It's no big deal, I do it all the time.

没什么大不了的，我整天都这样。

Chandler

(starts to laugh, but then gets serious) So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?

（开始笑，但随即严肃起来）呃，你整天都挑逗别的男人？

Monica

Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!

是啊！我觉得没什么！所以我觉得你这样做也没什么！

Chandler

Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.

但是这有很大区别。你比我有魅力得多。

Joey

(walking past) True story! (Goes and sits down.)

（走过）诚实的孩子！（坐下。）

Monica

Chandler, this actually bothers you?

钱德，你介意？

Chandler

Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?

对，我介意！而且我觉得很多人都会介意。瑞秋，你从前和罗斯交往的时候，如果他挑逗别的女人，你介意吗？

Rachel

Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.

呃，不，不会，如果他和别的女人睡觉，我才介意。

Ross

And thank you, for that.

谢谢你这么说。

Rachel

But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.

我根本不需要担心，罗斯一向不善于放电。

Ross

What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.

什么什么？你说什么？我电你很见效。

Rachel

Oh! Y'know what? You're right! We meet, you flirted and then bamn nine years later you had me!

哦！你算说对了！我们相遇时你跟我调情，终于！九年之后你得到了我！

Ross

All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!

好，好。猜猜我要干什么？我要再叫一份pizza，到时候凯特琳来到这里，我就让你们见识见识我怎样放电。我一定能弄到她的电话号码！（对钱德勒）而且不是包装盒上面那个！

Phoebe

(entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!

（从瑞秋的卧室出来）我找到了！

Rachel

Ohh! Thank God! Where was it?

哦！谢天谢地！在哪儿找到的？

Phoebe

On your dresser.

你的梳妆台上。

Rachel

Okay that is the one we already have!

这就是刚才那一只！

Joey

Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.

我的镜头！到我的镜头了！（两个警察在街上，然后切到他们进入一间公寓。）哦上帝。

Monica

What?

怎么了？

Joey

(smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.

（微笑）大家保持笑容。要是我奶奶发现了她会气死。

Chandler

(smiling) Well, what is it?

（微笑）到底怎么了？

Joey

(smiling) Oh, they cut me out of the show.

（微笑）他们把我的镜头剪掉了。

Rachel

(smiling) What?!

（微笑）什么？

Ross

(smiling) Are you sure?

（微笑）你说真的？

Phoebe

(smiling) Maybe your scene's coming up?

（微笑）可能等一下就有呢？

Joey

(smiling) Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there

（微笑）好象不太可能。你们看见那个装尸体的袋子了吗？

Rachel

(smiling) Yeah.

（微笑）看见了。

Joey

(smiling) I'm in it.

（微笑）我就在里面。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Phoebe

(smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?

（微笑）这下惨了，怎么办？

Joey

(smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.

（微笑）我不知道。我的事业是我奶奶生命的支柱。上次我没能演《我们的日子》，她伤心得几乎死掉。

Phoebe

(not smiling) That's not good.

（不笑了）糟糕。

Joey

(smiling) No, smile! Not that face, smile! Everybody smile! (They all smile.)

（微笑）笑一笑！别那个表情，笑啊！大家都要笑！（大家都笑。）

Rachel

(smiling) Joey, why don't you just tell her what happened? It's not your fault.

（微笑）乔伊，干吗不告诉她？又不是你的错。

Chandler

(smiling) If we keep talking this way, aren't we gonna freak her out soon?

（微笑）要是我们一直用这个表情说话，她不是一样会发疯？

Grandma Tribbiani

(Something in Italian to Joey.)

（用意大利语对乔伊说了什么。）

Joey

Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)

快了，快了！就快到我了。那个就是我！（指着屏幕，当然不是他。）

Grandma Tribbiani

(pointing at the screen) No! Sam Waterston!

（指着屏幕）不对！那个是山姆.沃特斯顿！

Joey

No-no-no, that-that's me, that's me.

不对，那个就是我，就是我。

Grandma Tribbiani

No, it's Sam Waterston! Crimes and Misdemeanors, Capricorn One.

不对！那个是山姆.沃特斯顿！演《犯罪与不端》和《摩羯宫一号》的那个。

Chandler

Doesn't know, "Hello." But she knows Capricorn One.

她不会说"你好"，可她知道《摩羯宫一号》。

(Phoebe gets up.)

（菲比站起来。）

Monica

(following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.

（跟着她）菲比！你现在就得把耳环给我！片子一演完我们就要走了！

Phoebe

But I already gave them back to you!

可是我已经还给你了！

Monica

No you didn't.

没有啊。

Phoebe

All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?

好吧，我确实还给你了！我说的！（走向瑞秋）还有一只呢？

Rachel

It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)

找不到，菲比，找不到！哦，我昨晚去了乔伊和钱德那边。（走向门口。）

Phoebe

Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.

记得一定要在钱德的首饰盒里找一找。

Rachel

Wait a minute. Chandler has a jewelry box?

等等。钱德有首饰盒？

Phoebe

Okay, we have like ten minutes. Do you want me to get into that now?!

拜托！我们只有十分钟了，你还要跟我讨论这个？

(Rachel heads for Joey and Chandler's and Phoebe heads for the kitchen to find Ross.)

（瑞秋去乔伊和钱德那边，菲比去厨房找罗斯。）

Ross

(To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?

（对菲比）嗨，菲比！那个，啊，素食pizza对你起了什么作用吗？你和那些蔬菜之间一定发生了些什么，对吗？

Phoebe

(she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?

（只是看着他）你怎么这么古怪？

Ross

Do you like it?

喜欢吗？

Phoebe

No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"

"你怎么这么可爱？"

Ross

Okay, I'm working on my flirting.

我在练习如何挑逗。

Phoebe

Ohh! I did not get that.

哦！没看出来。

Chandler

So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?

莫妮卡，你喜欢看《法律与秩序》吗？

Monica

Yeah, it's good.

喜欢啊，还不错。

Chandler

See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!

我今天发现了很多有关你的事情，像你喜欢看《法律与秩序》，像你挑逗三州地区的每一个男人！

Monica

Chandler! (Joey and his grandmother shush them and wave them away, which they do.) Okay, let me get this straight, it's okay for you to flirt, but not for me.

钱德！（乔伊和他奶奶嘘他们，挥手让他们走开，他们照做了。）好，我知道你想说什么了，你挑逗别人就可以，我就不可以。

Chandler

Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.

哦，真高兴，终于挑明了。我也很抱歉，可是有些事情对于男人和女人是不同的。

Monica

Go on, teach me something about men and women.

继续，教教我关于男人和女人的事情。

Chandler

Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"

"我不过和他玩玩，没什么大不了的。"但那人就会想："太棒了！总算有人想和我睡觉了！"

Monica

No way!

不可能！

Chandler

It's true.

是真的。

Monica

Well that's pathetic!

那太惨了！

Chandler

Again true.

也是真的。

Monica

And this goes for all guys?

每个男人都这样想吗？

Chandler

All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.

每个醒着的男人。等他们睡着了，地球另一侧的男人们醒来，继续同样的事。

Joey

(To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!

（对厨房里的罗斯）又到广告时间了，我还是没有告诉她！

Ross

Joey! This is like the last commercial. You've got like (checks his watch) ten minutes left!

乔伊！这应该是最后一次广告了。我们只剩下10分钟了！

Joey

I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!

我知道，我知道！我该怎么办？（想了想）哦！

Monica

No! You are not gonna run out and leave her here!

不要！你不要自己开溜，把她扔在这里！

Joey

(dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)

（沮丧）好吧。（又想了想）哦！（趁没人拦住他，迅速跑了出去。）

Grandma Tribbiani

Joey!

乔伊！

Chandler

Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.

呃，乔伊很快就会回来。很快回来！（试着向她比划。）趁这个时间，我们来谈谈你吧！（停顿。）你年纪老，个子小。

Rachel

(entering) (To Phoebe) (whispering) Hey!

（进来）（对菲比，小声）嘿！

Phoebe

Did you find it?

找到了吗？

Rachel

The earring? No. But look, I found my sunglasses under the couch! I've been looking for these since like last summer. (Puts 'em on.)

耳环？没有。不过我从沙发下面找到了太阳镜！从去年夏天我就开始找它了。（戴上。）

Phoebe

Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.

那是我的，你向我借的。

Rachel

Okay, calm down, here they are. (Gives back the sunglasses.)

哦，别激动，还给你。（把太阳镜还回去。）

Monica

(entering from her room) Phoebe! (Motions for the earrings. Phoebe gives her the one-minute sign.)

（从房里出来）菲比！（示意耳环。菲比给她一个一分钟的手势。）

Phoebe

(To Rachel) What are we going to do?!

（对瑞秋）怎么办？！

Rachel

I don't know, I don't know.

不知道，不知道。

Phoebe

All right well, we're just gonna have to tell Monica, that's all.

好吧，只好告诉她了，只能这样了。

Rachel

Oh gosh, she's going to kill me.

上帝，她会宰了我的。

Phoebe

I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault.

我可以跟她说是我弄丢的。

Rachel

Ohh that'd be great!

太谢谢了！

Phoebe

Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?

莫妮卡，我有点事想告诉你。

Monica

Yeah, what is it?

什么事？

Phoebe

Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry!

呃，我把你的耳环弄丢了一只。对不起！真是对不起！

Monica

(shocked) Wow! All right well, I mean, what can you do? If you lost it you lost it.

（震惊）Wow！没关系，还能怎么样呢？丢就丢了呗。

Phoebe

I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.

我会帮你配一只的，我保证。我好内疚。

Monica

All right, sweetie that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose.

好了，亲爱的，没事，你又不是故意的。

Phoebe

No.

不行。

Monica

Look at you! Come here! (They hug.) Feel better?

你瞧你！过来！（她们拥抱。）好点了吗？

Phoebe

Yeah! You're the best!

好多了！你最好了！

Rachel

Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)

等一下，等一下，我不能这么做。亲爱的，听我说，不是菲比搞丢的，她把耳环借给我，我搞丢了。真对不起！亲爱的，我也好内疚。（张开手臂要拥抱。）

Monica

(angrily) That is exactly why I do not lend you stuff!! (Rachel looks over at Phoebe in resignation.) Okay?! I mean, first it's my jewelry! And if it's not my jewelry, it's-it's my blue sweater! And if it's not my sweater, it's my sunglasses!

（生气地）就是因为这个我才不把东西借给你！（瑞秋无奈地看向菲比。）首先，你弄丢了我的首饰！除了首饰，还有我的蓝色外套！除了外套，还有我的太阳镜！

Rachel

Your sunglasses?!

你的太阳镜？

Monica

Yes!

是的！

Phoebe

Oh, right! (Hands Monica back her sunglasses.)

哦，对哦！（把太阳镜还给莫妮卡。）

Caitlin

(from outside) Pizza!

（门外）Pizza！

Ross

(running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.

（跑向门口）哦，我的！我的！我的！（对大家）现在开始，准备好了吗？顶级放电秀即将上演。

Chandler

Okay, hold on. (Pauses as he readies himself.) Okay. (Walks away.)

等一下。（停顿准备。）可以了。（走开。）

Rachel

Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to...

亲爱的，你不需要证明什么。何况如果你真的喜欢她，我认为挑逗并不是一个好......

(Ross interrupts and shushes her.)

（罗斯打断她，嘘了一声。）

Ross

You'll see. Okay. (Readies himself.) Oh, what's-what's her name?

走着瞧吧。（准备。）哦，她叫什么来着？

All

Caitlin!

凯特琳！

Grandma Tribbiani

Caitlin!

凯特琳！

Ross

(He opens the door while faking a laugh.) Hey! Oh, we-we can't keep eating like this. (Monica turns her head in shame.)

（假笑着开门）嗨！哦，我们不能再这么吃下去了。（莫妮卡羞愧地转过头。）

Caitlin

It's uh, $12.50.

12块5。

Ross

Okay, (gets the money) so, do you make the pizzas in one of those uh, wood-burning ovens?

好的，（拿钱）那么，你们的pizza是用烧木柴的炉子烤出来的吗？

Caitlin

No actually umm, I think that they're umm, gas.

不是的，我想是用煤气吧。

Ross

Gas? Wow! Intense.

煤气？Wow！很剧烈。

Chandler

(To Monica) If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.

（对莫妮卡）如果盖勒家的人都是这么个挑逗法，我就不用担心了。

Ross

(to Caitlin) Hey uh, y'know that smell gas has?

（对凯特琳）嘿，你知道煤气有一种气味吗？

Caitlin

(wanting more than anything to get the money and leave this horrible, horrible place) Yeah.

（只想赶紧拿钱离开这个可怕的地方）知道。

Ross

They put that in.

是加进去的。

Caitlin

What?!

什么？

Ross

The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.

煤气是无嗅的，但他们加入一种气味剂，这样一旦发生泄露你就能觉察到。

Caitlin

(getting more desperate to leave) Well okay!

（更想走了）哦！

Ross

A lot of other gas smells...

其他很多气体也有气味……

Chandler

Oh the humanity.

还有没有人性啊。

Ross

Meth-methane smells...

像天然气啦……

Caitlin

Y'know what umm, actually I, I really, I should go.

好了，我想我得走了。

Ross

Oh but I-I-I haven't paid you yet!

可我还没给你钱呢！

Caitlin

Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)

不要紧，你们今天叫了这么多，这一个算我请的。（逃命似地跑了。）

(Ross closes the door slowly.)

（罗斯慢慢关上门。）

Ross

(To All) Was I talking to her about gas?

（对大家）我刚才在跟她谈煤气吗？

Chandler

More so than anything else.

除了这个没别的了。

Phoebe

I-I-I found it interesting.

我觉得很有意思。

Rachel

I'm sorry.

抱歉。

Ross

Look, no-no, hey, hey, don't worry about it! In nine years, she and I will be right there. (Goes and sits on the couch dejectedly.)

嘿，嘿，不用，不用担心！九年之内，我一定能达到目的。（沮丧地坐到沙发上。）

Rachel

Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)

好吧，我把这些盒子扔出去。（她拿起几个旧披萨盒出去了。）

Phoebe

(walking over to Ross) Ross?

（走向罗斯）罗斯？

Ross

Yeah?

嗯？

Phoebe

What else do they add smell too?

还有什么是添加了气味剂的？

Rachel

Hey! Hey! (Stops Caitlin) Hi! Hey-hey-hey, I'm Rachel! From upstairs? The ones with all the pizza?

嗨！嗨嗨！（叫住凯特琳）我叫瑞秋，住楼上的。叫了一大堆pizza的那间。

Caitlin

Oh, is there a problem?

哦，pizza有问题吗？

Rachel

No. No. Everything's--they're fine. Great pizza. But it's uh, actually umm my friend Ross. He uh, just gets really nervous when he's flirting.

没有没有，没问题，很棒的pizza。是关于我朋友罗斯的。他每次调情的时候都会很紧张。

Caitlin

Oh my God! That was flirting?!

天哪！刚才那是调情吗？

Rachel

Yeah.

是。

Caitlin

Wow!

Wow！

Rachel

I know, I know, but uh just, I'm telling you, once, once you get past that part, that where it-it just feels like you wanna die, he's-he's really a good person.

我知道，我知道，我只是想跟你说，一旦你度过了那个让你生不如死的阶段，你就知道他为人其实很不错。

Caitlin

The guy with the gas?!

整天谈论煤气的那个？

Rachel

Yeah. I'm-I'm telling you he's really sweet and he's really funny and he's just ugh, got a good heart. And besides, I y'know, I think he really likes you.

对。其实他很招人喜欢，很有趣，而且他心肠很好。而且，我觉得他真的很喜欢你。

Caitlin

Really?!

真的？！

Rachel

Well y'know, we have 7 people and like 10 pizzas, what do you think?

你也看见了，我们只有7个人，叫了10个pizza，你说为什么呢？

Caitlin

I just, I thought Joey was there.

乔伊不是在那里吗？

Rachel

(entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.

（进来）嗨，罗斯，呃，我刚才在走廊里碰到凯特琳，你的挑逗手段比我想象中有效。

Ross

What do you mean?

什么意思？

Rachel

Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)

我不知道为什么，她让我把她的电话给你。（把写有电话号码的纸条递给他。）

Ross

And she just gave you this?

她给你的？

Rachel

Yeah!

对！

Ross

Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.

瑞秋，谢谢你，不过我不需要你帮忙。

Rachel

I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.

我没有啊，没有，是她觉得你很可爱。

Ross

Well that I can believe.

这我相信！

Rachel

Yay!

对吧！

Joey

(entering) Hey! Is the show still on?

（进来）嗨！还在播电视剧吗？

Chandler

Almost over man.

就快演完了。

Joey

(says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)

（跟奶奶打招呼）看啊！哦！（指向窗外）那不是教皇吗？（钱德勒和他奶奶转头去看，乔伊把一盘带子塞进录像机。）

Chandler

Why am I looking?

我又看个什么？

Joey

Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!

哦，我来了，我的镜头！

(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says...)

（乔伊自己拍了小电影充当他的大戏。他抵住公寓的门，拿着塑料枪，穿着同一件毛衣说……）

Joey

(on the tape) All right back off! I gotta gun! I'm not afraid to use it!

（录像中）后退！我有枪！我会开枪的！

Grandma Tribbiani

Oh Joey!

哦，乔伊！

Joey

That's right!

对啦！

Chandler

You couldn't have at least changed your shirt.

你就不能换件衣服？

Joey

(on the tape) Now, I wanna a suitcase filled with 100,000 dollars. (The duck quacks, to the duck) Choo! Choo! Choo! (To the imaginary cops) Filled with $100,000 in small bills, and if I don't get it...(the duck quacks louder) Choo!! And if I don't get it, (pause, picks up the duck) I'm gonna shoot this duck!

（录像中）听好了，我要一个手提箱，装上十万美金。（鸭子叫，对鸭子）去！去！去！（对假想的警察）十万美金，要小面值的，要是我拿不到……去！！要是我拿不到，（停顿，抓起鸭子）我就毙了这只鸭子！

Phoebe

Oh no!

不要啊！

Joey

(on the tape) I'm comin' out! (He opens the door and hops out pointing the gun in all directions and then runs out of view.)

（录像中）我要出来了！（他开门，跳出来用枪指向四面八方，然后跑出画面。）

Ross

(To Phoebe) And she's supposed to buy this?!

（对菲比）她会相信吗？

Grandma Tribbiani

Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)

乔伊，真勇敢！（又开始说意大利语。）

(Suddenly, the tape cuts away from Joey's impromptu scene, to Chandler standing really, really close to the camera.)

（突然，录像从乔伊的即兴表演切到钱德勒站得离镜头非常近的画面。）

Chandler

(singing) Ground control to Major Tom! Commencing countdown...engines...on!

（唱）地面指挥呼叫汤姆上校！开始倒计时……引擎……点火！

(Joey and Chandler both run to shut off the tape.)

（乔伊和钱德勒都跑去关掉录像。）

Joey

(to his grandmother) That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!

（对奶奶）那是下周的节目预告，下周的！

Phoebe

I am definitely gonna watch that!

我一定会看那个的！

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Monica

What about these? These look the same?

怎么样？看上去一样吗？

Phoebe

Definitely!

当然！

Monica

Not as each other!

两个比较起来呢？

Phoebe

Oh, then no.

哦，不太像。

(Goes over to Chandler.)

（走向钱德勒。）

Chandler

(To Monica) Hey!

（对莫妮卡）嘿！

Monica

Hi!

嗨！

Chandler

You ready?

可以走了吗？

Monica

Yeah.

可以了。

Chandler

You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.

你真漂亮。我真是世界上最幸运的人。

Monica

Ohh, you're about to get a little luckier.

哦，等一会你会更加幸运。

Chandler

Let me see the earrings.

让我看看耳环。

Monica

Oh, honey, the earrings...

哦，耳环......

Chandler

(looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?

（看着它们）真漂亮！你的男朋友是不是很有品位？

Monica

My boyfriend really does have good taste!

他确实很有品位！

(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)

（他转身去拿外套，莫妮卡向瑞秋和菲比竖起两个大拇指，钱德勒走向罗斯。）

Chandler

(To Ross) Thanks for picking out the earrings man.

（对罗斯）多谢你帮忙挑选耳环。

Ross

Hm-mmm.

嗯。

End

结束