The One With Rachel's Inadvertant Kiss

Rachel

Good, you guys are all here!

好! 你们都在!

Ross

Hey! What's up?

怎么?

Rachel

Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!

我明天去Ralph Lauren 面试!

All

Congratulations! Ohh, that's great!

恭喜!你真棒！

Rachel

I know!

我知道!

Joey

Boy, that guy's underwear sucks!

Ralph Lauren是个内裤白痴!

Rachel

Wh-what?!

恩？

Joey

I got this pair marked excess, I gotta tell ya, there was no room for excess anything in there.

我买了条标着"xs"的，根本穿不下。

Rachel

Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!

我将是女装部的协调者，我直接为主管效力。最适合我的工作！

Phoebe

Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it!

搞定面试，你就能得到这份工作。

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Phoebe

You wanna work on your interview skills?

要训练面试技巧吗？

Rachel

O-okay!

好！

Phoebe

Okay! All right, let's start with the handshake. Hi.

就从握手开始。你好。

Rachel

Hi.

你好。

(They shake hands.)

（她们握手。）

Phoebe

Very good handshake, good wrist action.

握得很好！手腕用力恰到好处。

Monica

Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)

我试试。（起身加入她们。）

Phoebe

Okay. (They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly) Oh my God! What did I ever do to you?! (Rubbing her hand.)

好。（她们握手，她突然抽回手）天啊! 我得罪你了？（揉着手。）

Monica

Did I squeeze it too hard?

我用力过猛？

Phoebe

Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.

我想说，幸亏我不是钱德。

(Chandler tries to comprehend that remark.)

（钱德勒试图理解这句话的意思。）

Opening Credits

片头

Joey

That's right Ross, I can see you in your new apartment! And you can see me! Same as yesterday, (To Monica) same as the day before.

对，罗斯，我能看到你在新家里。你也能看到我。跟昨天一样，（对莫妮卡）跟前天一样。

Monica

Is he doing his shark attack bit yet?

他在表演"被鲨鱼攻击"吗？

Joey

Nope. Op, wait! There he goes.

不。等一下，又来了。

(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)

（我们从窗户看到罗斯，他表演了一个被鲨鱼攻击的泳者，想象一下那些众多《大白鲨》电影中的一部，你就明白了。）

Joey

(waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.

（挥手）很好玩！罗斯！逼真而有趣。好。（注意到一个女人也在挥手）我不是跟你挥手，女士。（她盯着他。）（乔伊看到她有多漂亮）哇，我是！嘿，莫妮卡，罗斯楼里的辣妹朝我飞媚眼。

Monica

Get in there man! Flirt back, mix it up!

上啊！伙计！回应她，搞定她！

Joey

Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor...

我晓得。（他转向那个女人）好，来吧。（想了想）你好吗？（双手比划了一个印第安式的手势，指向她）你过得怎么样？（双手做了个小旋转，最后指向她，然后眨眼。她笑了，又挥了挥手。）（对莫妮卡）有效! 她朝我招手！我现在就过去。她住三楼……

Monica

(joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?

（凑过来）她很美,对吧？

Joey

Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)

还用你说。（意识到那个女人能看到莫妮卡）不不不，她不是我的女人，她只是莫妮而已！（他比划着）呃！（他把莫妮卡推开，做了个厌恶的表情。）

Ross

Hey Joey! Great stuff huh?

嘿，乔伊！我表演得不错，对吧？

Joey

This is your place?

你住这里？

Ross

Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)

当然。进来吧。到窗边去，你可以假装玩冲浪。（他在窗边假装冲浪。）

Joey

But I counted, you're not supposed to live here! Oh man! (Runs away.)

我数过的，怎么会是你住在这里？天啊！（跑开。）

Joey

Ugh!!

呃！

Monica

What happened?

怎么了？

Joey

I ended up at Ross's place. Oh, I musta missed counted or something. (Looks out the window.) Damn! She's not there anymore. Oh, l-l-look, Ross is doing his 'Watching TV' bit. (We see Ross sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on his remote.)

结果我跑到罗斯家了！肯定数错了。（看窗外）见鬼！她不见了。看，罗斯在装"看电视"。（我们看到罗斯坐在沙发上，按着遥控器换台。）

Monica

No Joey, I think he's just watchin' TV.

不，乔伊，我想他只是在看电视。

(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)

（直到镜头切到罗斯的公寓，我们才发现电视是关着的，罗斯确实在表演。他试图隐藏自己的假笑。）

Gary's Radio

We've lost visual contact with the suspect.

我们失去了嫌疑人的视线。

Gary

Okay, now I've really have to go!

我真得走了！

Phoebe

But it's just so unfair that our date has to get cut short just 'cause some guy shot at a store clerk.

这可真不公平，就因为有人枪杀店员，我们的约会就得夭折。

Gary

I know, but it's my job, sweethart!

是啊,但那是我的工作,心肝。

Phoebe

Okay, then maybe I can come too!

好吧，我跟你去。

Gary's Radio

Suspect has just emerged naked from the sewer.

疑犯刚裸体从下水道钻出。

Phoebe

All right, you go. (They kiss.)

好，你走吧。（他们接吻。）

Gary

Bye-bye.

再见。

Phoebe

'Kay, bye!

拜拜！

(Gary closes the door behind him.)

（盖瑞关上门离开。）

Phoebe

Oh God!

天啊!

Monica

What?

怎么了？

Phoebe

Oh I just miss him so much!

我好想他!

Monica

Wow! For just a week you guys are really close, huh?

才一星期，你们就那么亲密了？

Phoebe

Yeah, it's weird. I can't help it though he's so sweet, he's like this little puppy dog, y'know? But like a really tough one that shots bad guys. Ohh, I just love beginning parts of relationships, y'know?! You just like can't keep your hands off each other.

对，很少见。我忍不住喜欢他，他真可爱。他像只小狗，但又是个锄奸惩恶的硬汉。我喜欢初恋期，彼此简直爱不释手！

Monica

I know it is the best.

那个阶段的确是最棒的。

Phoebe

So-so how long did that last for you and Chandler?

你和钱德的初恋期持续了多长时间？

Monica

What? It's still going on.

什么？我们仍在这个阶段。

Phoebe

Come on, seriously! When did it end?

少来，我说真的。你们的初恋期几时结束的？

Monica

I-I am serious, I mean, we're, we're all over each other all the time.

我是说真的。我们俩一直都很狂热。

Phoebe

Okay, you know where you are better than I do. I was just curious.

算了，你们在什么阶段，你比我清楚。我只是好奇罢了。

Monica

(Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why don't you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!

（开始进入烦人的超级竞争模式）（跳起来）你冷静点，菲比！何必到处炫耀你们是最幸福的一对？

Phoebe

(Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I just---I misspoke. It's okay.

（小声）天啊，我惹火烧身。对不起。（对莫妮卡）我错了，我讲错话了，算了吧。

Monica

Oh no, it is okay, I mean as long as you know that Chandler and I are also very hot and fiery, just as hot as you! I mean our flame, whew, is on fire!

没关系，只要你知道，我和钱德一样很热烈，跟你们一样！就是说，我们还是"干柴"和"烈火"！

Chandler

(entering) Hey Monica, here's your broom back.

（进来）莫妮卡，扫帚拿回来了。

Monica

You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)

你真乖!（她走过去热情地吻他。）

Chandler

Oh hey, how'd the interview go?

面试怎样？

Rachel

Ugh, horrible! I did the stupidest, most embarrassing thing!

很糟!我做了最蠢最丢脸的事！

Joey

Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?

你跟面试官说，想跟他老婆上床，然后大惊失色？

Rachel

No!

不！

Chandler

So what happened?

那发生什么事了？

Rachel

Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!

可怕! 本来面试很顺利，我甚至让他笑出来。他提到"船"，我说"你有没有足够多的救生衣"？（她笑起来；钱德勒和乔伊不为所动。）当时真的很有趣。我们道别的时候……

Joey

What happened?

怎么了？

Rachel

(We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me... Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh... (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)

（闪回，瑞秋描述当时的情形）我们握手，他倾身朝我靠过来，也许他是想去开门，但我完全误解了他的意思......（闪回显示她吻了他的脸颊。）

Joey

You kissed him?!

你吻了他！

Rachel

Well, I didn't know what else to do!

我有什么办法！

Chandler

Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.

你该试试别吻他。

Rachel

Thanks Chandler.

谢谢，钱德。

Monica

(entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!

（从浴室出来）嘿，瑞秋，Ralph Lauren的人打电话来，通知你去复试！

Rachel

I can't believe it! I got a second interview!

不会吧! 叫我参加复试？

Monica

Yes!

对！

Joey

I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now, is it?

你吻对人了。

Rachel

What-what, wait a minute, you don't think that's why he wants me back?

什么？你认为他要我复试，是因为那一吻吗？

Joey

Yeah! (Chandler makes a noise) No?

对！（钱德勒发出声音）不是吗？

Monica

A kiss? What are you talking about?

什么"吻"？你们在说什么？

Rachel

I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!"

面试中我鬼使神差地吻了面试官，现在他叫我去复试。因为我是"见人就吻的女孩"！

Chandler

Come on, Rach.

别傻了，瑞秋。

Rachel

Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?

天啊! 他以为我是随便能跟他上床的女人呢！

Monica

He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.

他给你机会，也许是因为你能胜任这份工作。

Rachel

Maybe. I-I don't know---Oh God, how could I be so stupid?!

也许吧。我不晓得。天啊，我怎么那么蠢！

Joey

Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!

瑞秋，别自责了。来，让乔伊抱抱。来嘛，来嘛。（她拥抱他，乔伊看向窗外）她回来了，辣妹回来了！

Rachel

Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you.

我还感觉有点糟，不过，谢谢你。

Joey

No, in Ross's building! (He throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.) She's back! She's back! (Pantomimes) Okay, wait there, I'll be over in a second. (He counts where she is again.) Got it! (Runs out and does a little hop over a chair.)

不，是罗斯大厦里的辣妹，又出现了!（他把瑞秋扔到椅子上，冲向窗边）她回来了！她回来了！（比划着）等我，我马上就来。（重新数了她的位置）数清楚了！（跑出去，跳过一把椅子。）

Chandler

I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)

让我看两眼！辣妹在哪儿？（他走向窗边，但意识到什么，停住，转身指着莫妮卡）找到啦!（他跳着舞步过去吻她。）

Joey

Damnit!! Did you move?!

见鬼! 你搬家了吗？

Ross

Yes. I lived with you guys for a while and then I found this place. (Joey just stares at him) I'm Ross.

我跟你们同居了一阵子，然后找到这所房子。（乔伊瞪着他）我叫罗斯。

(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)

（乔伊做了个沮丧的表情，发出声音，走开了。他敲隔壁的门，一个老人开了门。）

The Old Man

Yes?

什么事？

Joey

(Looking around) Uhh do you happen to have a hot girl in there?

（四处张望）这里住着个漂亮姑娘吗？

The Old Man

No. I'm all alone.

不，我一个人住。

Joey

Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?

是吗，真可怜。（他走开，敲下一扇门，一个小女孩开了门）小妹妹好。你的妈妈、或姐姐、或保姆，是漂亮姑娘吗？

The Little Girl

Daddy!!

爸爸!

Joey

Later! (He runs away down the hall and hides behind a corner to a whole other corridor.) Oh man! (Walks down the hallway in desperation.) Hot girl! Hot girl!!

再见，小妹妹!（他沿着走廊跑开，躲到另一个走廊的拐角）天啊!（绝望地沿着走廊走着）辣妹！辣妹！

Mr. Zelner

Hi Rachel!

嗨，瑞秋。

Rachel

Hi!

嗨。

Mr. Zelner

Come on in.

进来。

(They go inside.)

（他们走进去。）

Mr. Zelner

It's really nice to see you again.

很高兴再见到你。

Rachel

Thank you.

谢谢。

Mr. Zelner

(Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh... (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)

（看到她嘴唇上有笔的墨水）呃，瑞秋，呃……（他指着自己的嘴唇，让她注意到她嘴唇上的墨水。）

Rachel

What?

什么？

Mr. Zelner

Just ah... (He points again.)

就是……（又指了一下。）

Rachel

Excuse me?

对不起，什么事？

Mr. Zelner

Here let me... (He goes to wipe it off himself.)

我来帮你……（他伸手想帮她擦掉。）

Rachel

(stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)

（阻止他）哇！好吧，我懂了！听着，我很抱歉，给了你错误的讯息，让你以为我是靠随便陪人睡觉来找机会的轻浮女人。就算我亲了你，也不表示你就能要求跟我上床! 我才没有那么想要这份工作。祝愉快！先生！（她冲出他的办公室。）

Rachel

(entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!

（进来）Ralph Lauren的浑球竟这样对我！

(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)

（乔伊、莫妮卡和罗斯都指着自己的嘴唇，让瑞秋再次注意到她嘴唇上的墨水。）

Rachel

Okay-okay that-that's amazing. How did you know that?

奇怪，你们怎么知道了？

Ross

You got ink on your lip.

你嘴唇上有墨水。

Rachel

Oh. (Realizes.) Ohhhhhhhhh....

哦。（意识到）哦……

Chandler

(To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?

（对盖瑞）怎么样，几时让我玩玩你的枪？

Gary

I don't know man, we're really not supposed to do that.

警队有规定，恐怕不行。

Chandler

Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you... (He gestures and spills some of his coffee.)

不会出事的！你能不能……（他比划着，洒了些咖啡。）

Gary

Yeah, I'm gonna say no.

恐怕我得拒绝。

Monica

Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?

晚饭后要看电影吗？

Phoebe

Oh we can't, we already have plans.

不行，我们约好了。

Monica

What are you doing?

要做什么？

Phoebe

Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.

还不就那事儿，呆在盖瑞家。他真棒，我们就从没离开过睡房。你们去看电影吧，祝愉快！

Monica

(That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!

（那种恼人的竞争心态又来了，她到底怎么回事，编剧为什么每集都要写这个？）我们不看电影！

Phoebe

You're not? Then why did you ask us if we wanted to go?

那你问我们去不去？

Monica

Oh umm, that's because I just wanted to y'know walk in on me and Chandler while we were, y'know, doing it all night. Will you excuse me for just a second?

因为我怕你们碍事。我和钱德要欢乐今宵。抱歉失陪一下。

Phoebe

Yeah!

好！

Monica

Okay. (She gets up and walks over to Chandler.) Chandler? Can I see you for a second?

（起身走向钱德勒）钱德，过来一下？

Chandler

Uh, yeah.

呃，好。

Monica

Okay. (They walk away to get some privacy.) We have got to beat them! {Here we go yet again.}

（他们走到一边私下说话）我们要胜过他们！{又来了。}

Chandler

Why?

什么？

Monica

'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!

盖瑞和菲比还以为他们比我们更打得火热！

Chandler

Ohh, so?

所以？

Monica

So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!

所以我们要上楼翻云覆雨，证明他们错了！

Chandler

Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.

莫妮卡，这种事也论输赢，不觉得傻吗？为了赢他们，我们就得爱得天翻地覆？我才不干，为什么？穿衣服、走！

Commercial Break

广告时间

Ross

(to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!

（对旁边取信的女人）嘿！

(A man walks up.)

（一个男人走过来。）

The Man

(To Ross) Excuse me. (He puts up a flyer that has a sketch drawing of Joey and it reads, "Warning! Intruder! If you see this creep - call the cops!") You should check this out, tell the other tenants. Apparently he's running around looking for some kind of a hot girl.

（对罗斯）请看我的告示，也请转告其他住户。显然，他跑上跑下、是在找漂亮姑娘。

Ross

(to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?

（对取信的女人）谁不是呢？

(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)

（我们第一次看到，罗斯说话的女人其实就是乔伊在找的那个辣妹。她只是盯着他看。）

Ross

I don't, I don't think we've meet. I-I'm Ross.

我们还没见过面吧，我叫罗斯。

The Hot Girl

I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman.

我知道，你是不捐钱给勤杂工的那个人。

Ross

Nevermind! (Goes back to his mailbox.)

算了！（回到他的信箱。）

The Hot Girl

No, I-I actually thought it was unfair the way everyone reacted. I mean you had just moved in.

其实，我认为大家对你太苛刻了。你才刚搬来。

Ross

I had just moved in. Thank you! Listen umm...

我是刚搬来! 谢谢你! 听着……

The Hot Girl

Jen.

我叫珍。

Ross

Jen, I know this may sound a little...(makes some kind of crazy noise) But uh, would you maybe wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime, or...

珍，我可能有点太急了，你愿意什么时候跟我去喝咖啡吗？

Jen

Sure! That would be nice.

我很乐意。

Ross

Umm?

呃？

Jen

Oh! My number is on there. (Hands him a business card.) Give me a call.

名片上有我的号码，给我电话。

Ross

I will give you a call.

我会的。

Jen

I'll see you later. (Starts to walk away.)

再见。（开始走开。）

Ross

Okay!

好！

(After she's left, Ross gets really happy and starts kissing the card. Suddenly, she returns.)

（她走后，罗斯非常开心，开始亲吻名片。突然，她回来了。）

Jen

I forgot my paper. (Ross quickly hides the card in his mouth.)

我忘了拿报纸。（罗斯迅速把名片藏进嘴里。）

Chandler

That was amazing!

销魂哦！

Monica

Phoebe and Gary are so gonna hear about this at dinner.

晚饭时，我一定要告诉菲比和盖瑞！

Chandler

That was amazing.

舒服死了。

Monica

We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.

我们是最热烈的，对吧？没人比我们更黏糊！你最棒！

Chandler

No, you're the best.

不,你最棒。

Monica

No, you're the best.

不,你才最厉害。

Chandler

No, you're the best.

不,你好厉害。

Monica

I am the best.

我好厉害。

(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)

（他们刚准备起身，乔伊走了进来。）

Joey

(entering) Hey guys! (Sees their state of undress) What 'cha been doin'? (Has a silly grin.)

（进来）嘿，二位。（看到他们衣衫不整）干嘛呢？（傻笑。）

Monica

(looking out the window) Hey Joey! Isn't that the girl that waved at you the other day?

（看向窗外）那不是跟你招手的女孩吗？

Joey

I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.

不知道，但我看见你走光了。（他看向窗外）对，是她。不过没用的，我和她永远见不了面。

Monica

Why?

为什么？

Joey

Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.

我就是找不到她的房间！她大概是居住在辣妹星球之类的空间，可望而不可及！

Monica

What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!

你说什么傻话！（指向窗外）她明显住在二楼，从左数第7间！

Joey

No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.

不，她住在3楼、左边第8间。

Monica

No, those first two windows, (Points) that's the lobby. And y'know the other one over there, that's the stairway. You've been counting wrong.

不，底下两个窗户是门厅的。最左边的窗户是过道的。你一直都数错了。

Joey

I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.

我竟不知道!谢谢你，莫妮。我差一点又因为算术差而少把一个马子！

Ross

So uhh, you ready?

可以走了吗？

Jen

Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?

好，我去拿外套。（有人敲门）你去开门好吗？

Ross

Sure. (He opens the door to Joey. Needless to say, Joey's stunned.) Joey...

好。（他开门，是乔伊。不用说，乔伊愣住了。）乔伊？

Joey

Dahhhhh!! (Ross has a puzzled look on his face.) No! Noooo!! (Storms off.)

啊！（罗斯一脸困惑）不！不！！（冲了出去。）

Rachel

Ah, first, I-I would like to say thank you for agreeing to see me again.

首先，我要感谢你再给我见面的机会。

Mr. Zelner

That's quite all right, but I feel obligated to tell you that this meeting is being videotaped.

那没关系，但我得告诉你，这次会见是要录影的。

Rachel

(looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.

（环顾四周找摄像头）好。首先我要道歉，不该吻你，不该对你大吼大叫。

Mr. Zelner

Fair enough.

那没什么。

Rachel

Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr...

我出了丑还敢回来，说明我有勇气。当我以为你把工作机会拿来做性交易，我拒绝了，那代表我的品格。另外，我敢于挺身而出，争取机会，说明我的勇气。（突然意识到说了两遍勇气）没错，我把"勇气"说了两遍，但"勇气"确实很重要。最后，当我以为你想在工作场合求欢时，我仅是拒绝，并没有告你性骚扰。所以我的优点有：勇敢，品格高尚，还是勇敢，而且不爱告状。先生……

Mr. Zelner

Zelner.

我叫Zelner。

Rachel

Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.

Zelner! 我就知道！我真的很喜欢这份工作，而且我能胜任。

Mr. Zelner

Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.

知道吗？将来我也许会后悔，但我要给你这个机会。

Rachel

(gasps) Oh! You are?

（倒吸一口气）是吗？

Mr. Zelner

Um-hmm.

嗯。

Rachel

Really? Oh thank you! Oh... Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?

真的？谢谢你！天啊！我想给你一个拥抱，那合适吗？

Mr. Zelner

Yes!

不！

Rachel

Okay, well then how about a handshake? (She goes to shake his hand but misses and touches his groin.) Oh God I'm sorry! Oh God, I'm sorry! I did not mean to touch that---I mean you there. There. Uhh, okay, so thank-thank you, I'm going to leave now thank you very much uh-huh, thank you so---Hey! I'll see you Monday! (Exits.)

那握手呢？（她伸手去握他的手，但没握到，碰到了他的腹股沟）天啊! 很抱歉! 我不是故意来摸你的那里。谢谢你，我走了，非常感谢，星期一见！（离开。）

Phoebe

You tired Chandler?

钱德，你很疲倦？

Monica

You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?

我们鬼混了一天，他能不累吗？你知道我的意思吧？

Chandler

Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.

宝贝，玉米饼也懂你在说什么。

Gary

So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?

你喜欢我给你的徽章吗？

Chandler

Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)

很帅。（他打开外套，徽章别在衬里上）我离开一下，宾长官离开一下，我去撒尿。（走向洗手间。）

Monica

Phoebe, you have a, a twig in your hair.

菲比，你头发里有小树枝。

Phoebe

Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.

哦，（笑）我们刚才来的时候绕了路。

Gary

Yeah, we took a little stroll in the park and no one was around, so...

我们在公园散步，四下无人……

Monica

You didn't!

你们该不会？

Phoebe

We did! We violated Section 12 Paragraph 7 of the criminal code!

我们做了。违反了犯罪条例、第7节第12条。

Monica

The park huh? A public place.

公园，公众场合啊。

Gary

Uh-huh.

嗯。

Monica

I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)

听见了，失陪一下！（起身走向洗手间，那种恼人的不惜一切代价要赢的超级竞争心态又来了。）

Monica

Hi Chandler.

嗨，钱德。

Chandler

Monica! This is the Men's room! (Pause) Isn't it?

莫妮，这是男厕所！（停顿）不对吗？

Monica

Yes it is. You see I've always found the men's bathroom very sexual. Haven't you?

对，但我一直觉得男厕所很性感。你不觉得吗？

Chandler

No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!

不觉得。假如我也对男厕很有性趣，那我就不会跟你好了。越来越离谱了！

Monica

Come on, we can't let them win!

别这样，我们不能认输！

Chandler

Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?!

我们已经证明了我们很热烈！你干嘛还没完了？

Monica

Because Phoebe and Gary are in that-can't-keep-their-hands-off-each-other-doing-it-in-the-park phase!

因为菲比和盖瑞在公园里还"浓得化不开"嘛！

Chandler

(gasps) So?

（倒吸一口气）那又怎样？

Monica

I feel really sad that we're not...really there anymore.

我很伤心，因为我们过了那样的阶段了。

Chandler

Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?

原来是这么回事？

Monica

Wasn't it a lot more exciting when we were y'know all over each other all the time?

两个人总是浓情蜜意，不是很爽吗？

Chandler

Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.

对，那是不错。但我们现在的阶段，我更喜欢。

Monica

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)

我从没谈过如此长久的恋爱。初恋阶段过后，仍然厮守在一起，这很了不起。而且我的爱人是你，我倍感幸福。（吻她。）

Monica

That is so sweet. I know that I was acting a little crazy but umm, I feel the same way.

你真甜。我知道我有点过火了，其实我和你感觉一样。

Chandler

Yeah?

是吗？

Monica

Yeah. (They hug.)

对。（他们拥抱。）

Chandler

Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.

我刚刚发现，这次是你被我们的关系吓坏了。

Monica

Did not.

我没有。

Chandler

Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!

你有，承认了吧！

Monica

Okay, I freaked out a little.

好吧，是有一点。

Chandler

Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.

岂止是一点？还好我及时补救！这次我们角色互换了！我成了爱情专家、你却成了不理智的笨蛋。（跳起胜利之舞。）（莫妮卡瞪着他。）又换回来了。

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Rachel

(laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!

（笑）罗斯竟被一块纸板给骗了！

Monica

Thank God! I can't watch him anymore!

谢天谢地！我实在看不下去了！

Chandler

(entering) You guys ready fore the movies?

（进来）准备好去看电影了？

Rachel

Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.

走吧。对了，谢谢你借Pamela和Yasmine的海报板给我们。

(We see through the big window from the outside and see that Monica and Rachel have pictures of their faces pasted onto cardboard cutouts of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth wearing their Baywatch swimsuits.)

（我们从大窗户外面看到，莫妮卡和瑞秋把她们自己的脸贴在帕梅拉·安德森和雅斯敏·布里斯的纸板模型上，两人都穿着《海滩救护队》的泳衣。）

Ross

(from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)

（从他的公寓）天啊，她们还没看够！（扮成机器人，朝纸板挥手。）

End

结束