The One With A Cop

Joey

Hey!

玩什么呢？

Chandler

Hey!

嘿。

Monica

Hey!

嘿。

Joey

What are you guys doing up?

你们怎么还没睡？

Chandler

Oh, we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed. Hey, do you know a six-letter word for red?

我们想睡前完成填字游戏。嘿，用六个字母表现红色？

Joey

(thinks) Dark red.

（想了想）“深红色”（Dark red）。

Chandler

Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?

错了，你还是呆会做连点游戏吧。（对莫妮卡）“暗红”（maroon）？

Monica

(checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)

（检查是否合适）对了！你真聪明！（吻他。）

Joey

Aww, you guys are so cute!

你们真可爱！

Monica

I know.

我知道。

Joey

All right, I'll see you in the morning.

明早见。

Chandler and Monica

Okay.

好。

Dream Monica

Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!

我喜欢跟你一起做填字游戏！

Dream Joey

Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.

我也是。我们填完它，再去睡觉。

Dream Monica

Okay! There's only one left, three letter word, not dog but...

好，只差一个了，三个字母，不是“dog”……

Dream Joey

Cat.

那是“cat”。

Dream Monica

Yes! You are so smart! (Kisses him.) I love you.

你真聪明！（吻他。）我爱你。

Dream Joey

I love you too.

我也爱你。

(They hug.)

（他们拥抱。）

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

(looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.

（看着账单）还得付小费。

Phoebe

All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?

好．等等。（她开始在椅子里翻找。）摸到了，五分镍币！（投进去。）还差多少？

Rachel

A couple of bucks.

再来几块钱。

Phoebe

Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!

好，一角硬币！（投进去。）你们多聊会吧，摸钱需要花时间的。（又摸到别的东西。）等等！看！哇！（看了看。）哦我的天，是个警察徽章！

Monica

Wow!

帅！

Chandler

Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.

不过条子来这里干嘛？这又不卖甜甜圈。（没人笑。）（左手咖啡右手甜甜圈似乎是北美警察的标志，因为这两样东西对警察免费供应。）其实你能不能重新发现那个徽章？我想我能想出比这更好的笑话。

Rachel

Phoebe, I bet somebody's missing that badge.

菲比，肯定有人在找它。

Phoebe

Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)

对，我该送还警察局。不过到警察局我先要看看他们的十大逃犯榜，我朋友Fritzy总排在第11位，今年该轮到她风光了！（她交叉手指祈祷。）

Joey

(entering) Hey, you guys!

（进来）各位好！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hey Joey!

嘿，乔伊！

Monica

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

(To Monica) Hey. That uh, that my sweatshirt?

（对莫妮卡）你穿我的T恤？

Monica

Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?

对．抱歉我很冷，所以穿你的衣服。你不介意吧？

Joey

Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and I'm not him.

没事。不过，如果你想穿别人的T恤，不是应该穿你男朋友的吗？我又不是你男朋友。

Monica

I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.

抱歉．我还给你。

Joey

No-no! No! I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Monica!

不！已经沾上莫妮卡的味道了。

Monica

Are you saying I smell bad?

我很臭？

Joey

No! No, you smell like a meadow. (Pause.) I'm sorry. (Runs to the bathroom.)

不！你闻起来像草地。（停顿。）抱歉。（跑向浴室。）

Monica

What's with him?

他怎么了？

Chandler

Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.

上次乔伊去草地，他妈妈被猎人打中了。

Rachel

(disgusted at Ross's antics) Ugh!

（对罗斯的举动感到厌恶）呃！

Ross

(To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"

（对瑞秋）我还是不确定。（对在旁边转悠的售货员）对不起，我只想确信我没选错沙发。我希望它不但吸引“孩子来坐”，而且能放电说，“坐我边上来！”

Rachel

What?! You say that to kids?!!

什么？你对孩子放电？

Ross

No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.

不！后一句是对女人的邀请。

Rachel

Ross, honey, it's a nice couch. It's not a magic couch.

亲爱的，这沙发不错，但它不会魔法。

The Salesman

You picked a great couch.

你选了张很棒的沙发。

Ross

Yeah?

是吗？

The Salesman

Yeah. Could you just sign right here please? (Hands him a clipboard.)

是。您能在这儿签字吗？（递过写字板。）

Ross

Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!

好。什么？运输费快赶上沙发的价钱了！

Rachel

Wait! No, that's ridiculous. Come on, he lives three blocks away!

等等！简直荒谬！他家就过去几个路口！

Ross

Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)

我自己提货，谢谢！（他签了单子还给售货员。）瑞秋，开动！（他抬起沙发的一端。）

Rachel

Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?

好！（她穿上外套，转过身发现罗斯指望她帮忙。）（笑）你说笑？

Ross

Oh, come on it's only three blocks! And-and, it's not very heavy, try it! Come on! Come on!

别这样．三个路口而已。不太重．试试！

Rachel

(Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!

（她厌恶地走过去试着抬起沙发。令她惊讶的是，她成功了。）哦！噢，我搬得动！

Ross

Yeah!

这沙发会舒服死你们。

The Salesman

You two are really gonna enjoy that couch.

是啊。

Ross

Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)

我们不住一起。（他开始倒退出店门。）

The Salesman

Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)

好吧。（笑）你们俩居然不是一对。（罗斯停住，走回来跟售货员说话，过程中把瑞秋挤到了墙上。）

Rachel

Ross!

罗斯！

Ross

What's that supposed to mean?

什么意思？

Rachel

Ross!

罗斯！

The Salesman

Well you, her, I mean, she's very...y'know. And you're like...y'know.

哎，你，她，我是说，她很……那什么……而你，又很……那什么……

Ross

Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.

虽然那不关你什么事，不过我们真的交往过。

The Salesman

Really? You two?

真的？ 你们俩？

Ross

Yeah! Rach?

是。对吧，瑞秋？

Rachel

Come on, I don't really want to be doing this right now. I am carrying a very heavy couch.

我现在不想谈这个，我扛着很重的沙发。

Ross

Then tell him quickly.

那快回答他。

Rachel

(To Ross) Fine! (To the salesman) We went out.

（对罗斯）好吧，我们交往过。

Ross

Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!

不止如此，我们做过298次！

Rachel

Ross!! Oh my--ugh!! You kept count?! You are such a loser!

罗斯！哦——呃！你一直在数？你这窝囊废！

Ross

A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!

一个跟你做了298次的窝囊废！

(Rachel pushes on the couch and pushes Ross out the door.)

（瑞秋推着沙发，把罗斯推了出去。）

Phoebe

Oh. Oh! Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?

哦。哦！女士？打扰一下，女士？

The Smoking Woman

Yes?

什么事？

Phoebe

You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!

你不能在树上摁熄香烟！

The Smoking Woman

Yeah I can, it worked real well.

我当然可以，那很有效。

Phoebe

No but you shouldn't! Don't ever do that again.

但你不该这样干。下不为例。

The Smoking Woman

I won't! (Turns away) Until I have my next cigarette.

好吧。（转身）下根烟再说。

Phoebe

Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!

站住！（掏出徽章）纽约警察！不许动！女阿飞！

The Smoking Woman

What?!

什么？

Phoebe

Yeah that's right you are so busted. (To no one in particular.) Book 'em.

没错，你被逮捕了！记下来！

The Smoking Woman

Who are you talking too?

你在吩咐谁？

Phoebe

Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.

少罗嗦！否则今晚就在监狱里过，向树道歉。

The Smoking Woman

I am not going to apologize to a tree!

我不会向一棵树道歉！

Phoebe

You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!

现在就道歉！否则我就呼后援。（女人赌她不敢说大话。）（对着空气大喊）后援！后援！

The Smoking Woman

I-I'm sorry! Sorry.

抱歉！很抱歉。

Phoebe

Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup!

好，取消后援！取消后援！

Ross

Okay. (Throws off the last cushion.)

好。（扔下最后一个坐垫。）

Rachel

Ross, didn't you say that there was an elevator in here?

你不是说这里有电梯的吗？

Ross

Uhh, yes I did but there isn't. Okay, here we go.

我是说过，但结果没有。好，我们上去。

(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)

（他们开始尝试。罗斯倒着走，到达第一个平台。楼梯有三阶，一个平台，然后90度转弯，再有几阶，又一个平台，再90度转弯。）

Ross

Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)

好，往左。左！左！（沙发底部撞到了栏杆。）

Rachel

Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left!

够了，不能再左了！

Ross

Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! (She gets it lifted up and they make the first turn.) Okay. You got it?

哦，高举过头！你能行的！你能行的！（她举了起来，他们完成了第一个转弯。）好，明白怎么转弯了？

Rachel

Yeah.

明白了。

Ross

Good-good-good.

好好好。

Rachel

Oh-oh!

哦！

(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)

（沙发转弯时她无法待在末端，于是换到沙发后角，与沙发成90度角。）

Ross

Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?

你能稳住吗？

(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)

（没稳住，沙发从他们手中滑脱，翻过了底层栏杆。）

Rachel

Any chance you think the couch looks good there?

你觉得沙发摆那里好看吗？

Phoebe

...so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!

……犯人蔫了。而我，“布菲”！女邢警！太帅了！

Monica

(cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!

（在煮东西）菲比，你该物归原主！

Phoebe

I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.

我知道。但我做好事上瘾了。

Chandler

Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.

假扮警察，这罪可非同小可。你会被捕的。

Phoebe

You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)

你现在就有可能被捕！（亮徽章，他们瞪着她。）好吧，我还回去。我被权力冲昏了头脑。（她向门口走去，正好乔伊进来。）

Phoebe

(To Joey) Hey.

（对乔伊）嘿！

Joey

(To Phoebe) Hey! (Sees that Monica's there.) Oh.

（对菲比）嘿！哦。

Chandler

Hi, Joe.

嗨，乔。

Joey

Yeah, I didn't know you guys were going to be here.

对．我不知道你们会在这。

Monica

Hey Joey, sweetie, taste this. (Holds out a spoon for him.)

帮我尝尝。（递过勺子。）

Joey

(backing away) What?! Why?!

（后退）什么？干吗？

Monica

What is going on with you?

你怎么了？

Joey

Nothing!

没事！

Chandler

Oh, come on! You've been acting strange all day!

别装了，你今天很怪！

Joey

All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)

唉，我是心里有鬼。我做了个梦，（停顿）但我不想谈。（朝房间走去。）

Chandler

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I don't want to talk about it.

是马丁·路德·金那个段子吗？我有一个梦想……但我不想说。

Joey

Well, it involved Monica.

我梦到莫妮卡。

Chandler

You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)

你梦见我的女朋友？酷！（对莫妮卡）不知多少次，我梦到他交往过的女孩们。（看到莫妮卡的眼神。）（对乔伊）我们来谈谈你的梦。（对莫妮卡）我爱你。（对乔伊）你的梦？（凑近了听。）

Joey

Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish.

别怕，不是春梦。自从你们俩好上了，我做梦就规矩多了。

Monica

What was the dream about?

你梦见什么？

Joey

Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.

你是我女朋友，我们在玩填字游戏。就像你们昨晚那样。就是这样．我爱上了莫妮卡，我要远走他乡。

Monica

Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesn't mean that-that you're in love with me!

乔伊，别傻！那不代表你爱上了我！

Joey

It-it doesn't?

不是吗？

Monica

No!

不！

Chandler

No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.

那可以代表很多意思，例如你突然妒忌我，成了一家之主。

Joey

That kinda sounds like your dream dude.

你做梦。

Monica

Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.

或是意味着，你看到我和钱德一起，那么亲密，所以你也想有段亲密关系。

Joey

In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.

在梦里我的确很享受亲密的感觉。

Monica

Um-hmm.

嗯哼。

Chandler

Joey, look, are you attracted to Monica? Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?

此时此刻，说，你喜欢她吗？

Joey

(looks at her) Not really.

（看看她）没感觉。

Chandler

Well there you have it!

就是嘛！

Monica

Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!

你当然不会有感觉！我都没打扮。（看着钱德勒，慢慢意识到他的用意。）不过幸好你没爱上我，你可是要找个女朋友！

Joey

No, I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend. Y'know? I mean, yeah, I can get a girlfriend! Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crosswords, but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like-like you guys have?

没那么简单。我是可以找个女朋友，坐下来一起玩填字游戏。但我们能像你们一样亲密吗？

Chandler

Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?

莫妮和我恋爱前是朋友，所以我们才这么亲密吧？

Joey

Friends first? That's interesting.

先当朋友？那很有趣。

Monica

You become friends after?

你是分手后再当朋友吗？

Joey

No, never done that either.

从没有过。

Rachel

(entering) Hey, umm, do you guys have that tape measure?

（进来）你们有卷尺吗？

Chandler

Oh yeah, it's actually in my bedroom.

有．但在我房里。

(Monica and Chandler both remember a special moment between them.)

（莫妮卡和钱德勒都想起了他们之间的某个特殊时刻。）

Monica

(laughing) That's right.

（笑）没错。

(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)

（他们意识到自己行为的内涵，立刻停住，朝他的卧室走去。与此同时，乔伊正用挑逗的眼神盯着瑞秋。）

Rachel

(noticing him) What's up Joey?

（注意到他）怎么了，乔伊？

Joey

(in a sexy voice) How you doin'?

（性感的声音）你好吗？

(Rachel is stunned.)

（瑞秋呆住了。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Phoebe

Excuse me, is this your car?

抱歉．是你的车吗？

Guy

Yeah.

对。

Phoebe

Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance.

别停这里，堵塞交通。

Guy

Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.

别担心，没问题的。

Phoebe

Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)

我说成问题，你最好重视，因为我是警察。（亮出徽章。）

Guy

(he reaches into the car and slams his siren on the roof.) So am I!

（伸手进车里，把警笛扣上车顶。）我也是！

Phoebe

Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)

哦，不。（停顿）好．你是警察，所以你爱停哪儿都可以。我知道规矩，因为我也是警察。好好干　10.4。（试图离开。）

Cop

(stopping her) Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with?

（拦住她）等等．你负责哪个区？

Phoebe

I-I'm with the umm, the 57th.

我在57区。

Cop

Oh, I know a guy in homicide up there.

我认识57区刑警队一个家伙。

Phoebe

I'm in vice. Yeah, in fact I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.

我是巡警，现在是便衣，扮妓女。

Cop

Who-who else is in vice up there?

巡警队还有谁？

Phoebe

Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz?

（警察故事，肥皂剧《银匙》中的角色）那你认识司伯伟吗？

Cop

Sipowicz? No, I don't think so.

司伯伟？不认识。

Phoebe

Yeah, big guy, kinda bald.

大个子，光头。

Cop

No, I don't know him.

我不认识他。

Phoebe

(starts to walk away, but stops) Don't try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.

（开始走开，又停住）别打电话找他，他不上班。他的搭档刚挂了。

Cop

Wow umm, tell Sipowicz I'm real sorry for his loss.

哇，告诉他我很遗憾。

Phoebe

I-I sure will, take care. (Starts walking off.)

当然．保重。（开始走开。）

Cop

(following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?

（跟着她）对了，司泊伟会没事的。听说《银匙》里的小孩很厉害。你在哪捡到我的警徽的？

Phoebe

Oh. (She starts laughing. Then she throws the badge at him and runs away.)

哦。（她开始笑。然后把徽章扔给他，跑走了。）

Rachel

Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?

你能帮手搬沙发吗？

Joey

Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.

很乐意，不过我要去上表演课。但我可以逃课，（性感的声音）为你而逃。

(He starts staring at her longingly.)

（他开始渴望地凝视她。）

Rachel

Thanks!

谢谢！

Joey

Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.

问你个问题。我刚跟莫妮和钱德聊天，他们俩可真亲密。

Rachel

I know.

我晓得。

Joey

Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.

他们从朋友变成情人、好象很不错。我也想和他们一样。

Rachel

What's up Joe?

怎么了，乔伊？

Joey

Well, the reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great...

莫妮和钱德那样要好……

Rachel

Yeah?

恩？

Joey

...is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So...

是因为他们恋爱前是朋友。于是我自问，谁是我的朋友？你和菲比，我先看到你，所以……

Rachel

(laughing) What are you saying?

（笑）你在说什么？

Joey

I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.

也许你可以和我交往。

Rachel

Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up.

亲爱的，承你美意，说是先看到我。我不认为我们该交往。

Joey

I'll treat you real nice. (Pulls out a chair for her.)

我会对你很好的。（给她拉开椅子。）

Rachel

(laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm... No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!

（笑，把椅子推回去）我知道，不过，我赞成交往前先做朋友。但你应该在遇见理想对象后，和她交朋友，建立感情基础，然后约会。别打老朋友的主意！

Joey

Won't-won't that take longer?

那样很费时间吧？

Rachel

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.

是，但是，真爱值得等待。

Joey

Yeah. I understand. I understand. (Pause) Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first!

我懂了。（停顿）天，我真希望先看到菲比！

Ross

Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me.

到我这边来。不，还是你过来吧。

Rachel

(entering) Hey Ross! I brought reinforcements.

（进来）我带援军来了。

Ross

Oh great! What, you brought Joey?

太好了！你带乔伊来了？

Rachel

Well, I brought the next best thing.

比不上乔伊，第二壮劳力！

Chandler

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Ross

Chandler?! You brought Chandler?! The next best thing would be Monica!

你带钱德来？第二壮劳力应该是莫妮卡！

Chandler

Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so...

你侮辱我，不过莫妮卡的确是出奇的强壮，不跟你计较。

Ross

Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)

我画了个搬沙发草图。（给他们看）瑞秋，这是你。这是沙发。（又指。）

Rachel

Whoa-oh, what's-what's that? (Points.)

那是什么？（指。）

Ross

Oh, that's me.

是我。

Rachel

Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.

你把自己想得那么壮。

Ross

No! That's-that's my arm!

不．那只是我的手臂。

Chandler

(looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.

（看草图）明白了，你真的很喜欢你的新沙发。

Ross

Y'know what? Just-just follow my lead.

听我号令。

(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)

（钱德勒和罗斯走向沙发的两端。）

Rachel

Okay!

好！

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Ross

Come on, Chandler.

来吧，钱德。

(They pick up the couch and after throwing off the last pillow; Rachel helps out on Chandler's end.)

（他们抬起沙发，扔掉最后一个坐垫后，瑞秋帮着抬钱德勒那一头。）

Ross

All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!

准备好了吗？（他们开始上楼梯。罗斯在前。）好了！

(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)

（钱德勒向前移动，现在在沙发下面，随着沙发上第一段楼梯。）

Ross

All right, ready?

好了。

Chandler

Yeah.

好。

Ross

Turn.

转弯。

Chandler

(straining) Okay.

（吃力）好。

Ross

Turn! Turn!

转，转，转！

(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)

（他们转弯时，钱德勒被夹在栏杆和沙发之间。）

Chandler

Okay, I don't think we can turn anymore!

转不动了！

Rachel

Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.

这样抬不上去的。

Ross

Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!

能上去！别放弃！起！成功了！转！转！转！转！

Chandler

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!

闭嘴！闭嘴！闭嘴！

(They set the couch down.)

（他们放下沙发。）

Ross

Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.

转不动了。

Chandler and Rachel

You think?!

你也这么想？

Ross

All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again.

好，我们放回去，再来一遍。

(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)

（他们开始往下放，沙发下降了一点，卡住了。他们试着弄出来，但没用。）

Chandler

Okay, yeah, I think it's really stuck now.

现在真的卡住了。

Ross

I can't believe that didn't work!

不敢相信，我的方案行不通！

Rachel

I know, me neither! I mean, you had a sketch!

我也不敢相信！你不是画了草图吗？

Chandler

Oh, y'know, what did you mean when you said pivot?

你说“转”是个什么意思？

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hey! How's it going? Did you make any new friends?

进展如何？交到朋友吗？

Joey

Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)

碰到这个女人。（朝房间走去。）

Chandler

(stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?

（拦住他）她怎么样？

Joey

Uhh, well, she's...really good in bed.

她，床上很厉害。

Monica

Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!

不是说好先交朋友吗？

Joey

(To Rachel) Well look, hey, it's all your fault!

（对瑞秋）那都是你的错！

Rachel

What?! Why?!

什么？为什么？

Joey

Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!

你不教我学好，却教我泡妞用语。我刚跟她说了要“先建立感情基础、只做朋友”，她马上就要我。这可不是我的错！（停顿）她室友也有同感！

Monica

What about the closeness?

那亲密关系怎么办？

Joey

Closeness-shmoshness! There was three of us for crying out loud!

亲密！我们三个都渴望亲密！

Joey

(entering) All right! Hey, who wants pizza?!

（进来）谁要比萨？

Chandler

Ooh, I do! I do! I do!

我要！我要！我要！

(They all walk over to get a slice.)

（他们都走过去拿披萨。）

Joey

(taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?

（咬了一口）不敢相信吧？我在二楼捡的。

(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)

（他们都把披萨扔回去，这时有人敲门。）

Monica

Who is it?

谁？

Voice

N.Y.P.D!!

纽约警察！

Phoebe and Joey

Oh my God!

哦，我的天！

Joey

Uhh, just a minute officer!!

等一下，长官！

(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)

（他把披萨扔回盒子里，跑进客厅，找个地方藏披萨，找到了，把盒子滑到沙发底下，坐到桌子上，试图快速嚼掉嘴里的食物。）

Cop

I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay!

我找菲比·布菲！

Phoebe

Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me!

天，是那个条子！他居然能找到我！

Rachel

Oh my God, Phoebe, are you gonna go to jail?!

你会坐牢吗？

Phoebe

Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!

如果我被关起来，我要拖你们全部下水！（他们看着她。）窝藏逃犯？最少判一到三年。祝你好运，钱德。（她打开门，是之前的警察。）逮捕我吧，但你不能给我定罪。

Cop

Yeah, but I kinda don't have a choice, it's my job. I mean, you understand right?

我没办法，这是我的职责。你能理解，对吧？

Phoebe

Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!

你也能理解吧，我要找律师。一旦他让你出庭，就能搞臭你！

Cop

I don't like looking foolish. Y'know what? Maybe uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here.

我可不想被搞臭。我今天放你一马罢，就当我来了，你却不在。

Phoebe

I would love it if I weren't here!

好主意！

Cop

Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me?

既然你今晚不用入狱，能不能陪我去吃个饭？

Phoebe

Me?!

我吗？

Cop

Yeah. Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest, fake undercover whore I've ever seen.

自从你亮出我的警徽，我就一直挂念你。你是我见过的最漂亮的假便衣。

Chandler and Joey

Nice!

很好！

Phoebe

Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!

哇，我不知道你在约我！

Cop

Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me.

我本可以不让你受惊，但他们老瞪着我。

Phoebe

Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer...

我愿意跟你约会，长官。

Cop

Gary.

盖瑞。

Phoebe

Gary.

盖瑞。

Gary

Okay, so it's a date.

好，我们在约会。

Phoebe

Yeah! So--ooh, I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?

对了，你怎么找到我的？

Gary

Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out.

警徽上满是你的指纹，我输入电脑，找到你最近的住址，所以来这里找你。

Phoebe

Ohh, impressive.

哦，真不寻常。

Gary

Not as impressive as you. I gotta tell you, I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff.

比不上你的不寻常。我查了你的记录，你经历颇丰富。

Phoebe

Yeah, we'll talk at dinner.

饭桌上谈。

Gary

Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?

好，过几个小时我来接你。

Phoebe

All right, I can't wait!

迫不及待！

Gary

Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.

别怕，我不会只带你去吃免费甜甜圈。

(Chandler busts out laughing and everyone just looks at him.)

（钱德勒扑哧笑出声，大家都看着他。）

Chandler

(To Rachel) He has a gun!

（对瑞秋）他有枪的！（你们还不笑？）

Closing Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.

我想退货，我对它不满意。

The Saleswoman

You wanna return this couch? (Ross nods yes.) It's cut in half!

你要退货？（罗斯点头。）它都身首异处了！

Ross

That's what I'm telling you.

所以才退货。

The Saleswoman

Did you cut this couch in half?

是你把它一分为二的吗？

Ross

This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!

这张沙发断成两截了！我要换一张完整的！

The Saleswoman

You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?!

你是说提货时它就这么惨？

Ross

Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.

我是个讲道理的人，你们店的抵用券我也收的。

The Saleswoman

I'll give you store credit in the amount of four dollars.

好，我给你抵用券，4元。

Ross

(thinks) I take it.

（想了想）我收下了。

End

结束