The One Where Everyone Finds Out

Phoebe

(looking out the window) Oh hey, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy is putting stuff in boxes!

（望向窗外）哦嘿，你们看！快看，裸男在把东西装箱！

(They all run and join her at the window.)

（大家都跑过去和她一起看窗外。）

Rachel

I'd say from the looks of it; our naked buddy is moving.

迹象表明，裸男兄弟好象要搬家。

Ross

Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled clothes.

讽刺的是，多数箱子的标签上都注明是服装。

Rachel

Ohh, I'm gonna miss that big old squishy butt.

哦，我会想念这个大屁股的。

Chandler

And we're done with the chicken fried rice.

我也会想念炸鸡饭的。

Ross

Hey! Hey! If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place!

嘿！嘿！他搬走以后我可以求租他的公寓！

All

Good idea! Yes!

好主意！说得没错！

Ross

It would be so cool to live across from you guys!

住你们对面太妙了！

Joey

Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!

对！那我们就可以玩“电话游戏”了！就是两头各一个罐头、中间一线牵！

Chandler

Or we can do the actual telephone thing.

或者我们也可以打打真的电话来交流。

Opening Credits

片头

Ross

Oh my God! I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect?! I can't believe I never realized how great it is!

天哪，这间公寓让我非常满意！太完美了！以前居然从没注意到！

Rachel

Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.

那是因为大个裸男太抢眼了。

Phoebe

It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.

令人惊讶！你最好赶快去填申请表！不然我要动粗了！

Ross

(laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)

（笑）哦。（菲比向门口走了几步，罗斯赶紧冲了出去。）

Rachel

Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)

我从来没想过，居然会用丑陋裸男的洗手间。（她去了。）

Phoebe

(looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey!

（望向窗外）看！莫妮卡和钱德就在对面！嘿！嘿！我在这儿！嘿！

(Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.)

（钱德勒和莫妮卡开始脱对方的衣服。）

Phoebe

Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!

哦！！哦！！啊——！！

Rachel

What?!

什么？！

Phoebe

(screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!

（尖叫）啊！！钱德和莫妮卡！！钱德和莫妮卡！！

Rachel

Oh my God!

哦天啊！

Phoebe

CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!

钱德和莫妮卡！！！！

Rachel

OH MY GOD!!!

哦天啊！！！

Phoebe

OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!

哦！！我的眼睛！！！我的眼睛！！！！

Rachel

Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!

菲比！！菲比！！没事的！！没事的！！

Phoebe

NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!

不！他们居然在亲热！！！

Rachel

I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I KNOW!

我知道！！我知道！！我知道！！

Phoebe

YOU KNOW?!!!

你知道？！！

Rachel

Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!

对，我知道！乔伊也知道！不过罗斯还蒙在鼓里所以你闭嘴！！

Ross

(entering) What's going on?

（进来）怎么啦？

Phoebe and Rachel

Ohhh!!!

哦！！

Rachel

(trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!

（上蹿下跳试图转移他对窗户的注意力）哦！！嗨！！嗨！

Ross

What?! What?!

什么事？什么？

Rachel

Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!

没什么！哦天啊，你搬来令我们兴奋得发狂！

Ross

Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)

它看来很棒。（转向窗户，现在菲比开始跳来转移他的注意力。）

Phoebe

(Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)

（语无伦次地尖叫）来，你过来！！！（示意她加入她和瑞秋。）

(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)

（罗斯也开始语无伦次地又跳又叫，跳过去加入了拥抱。）

Phoebe

You mean whenever Monica and Chandler were like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping or---Oh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!

那，每次莫妮卡和钱德谎称要去洗衣店，或者买日用品，还有，哦，还有莫妮卡总是和露营时认识的所谓悲伤琳达讲那些电话！

Rachel

Uh-huh, doing it. Doing it. Phone doing it.

对啊，亲热，都是在电话里亲热。

Phoebe

Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.

哦！哦，难以置信！太棒了！对钱德而言。莫妮卡本可以找到更好的。

Joey

(entering) Hey guys!

（进来）嘿姑娘们！

Rachel

Joey! Come here! Come here!

乔伊！上这儿来！

Joey

What? What?

怎么了？什么事？

Rachel

Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.

菲比知道莫妮卡和钱德的事了。

Joey

You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)

你是指他们仅仅是普通朋友吗？（瞪着瑞秋。）

Rachel

No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.

不，乔伊，她已经发现了！我们在丑陋裸男那边看房，那俩家伙正好在对窗鬼混！（乔伊倒吸一口气）事实上，他们就贴着窗户在做爱哦。

Phoebe

Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?

那现在他们知道你知情，但不知瑞秋也知情？

Joey

Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!

对，不过那并不重要。既然这事已闹得尽人皆知，干脆告诉他俩好了！那他们就不必再撒谎或者故作神秘了！

Phoebe

Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.

或者我们不跟他们摊牌，自己偷着乐乐。

Rachel

Wh-what do you mean?

你想怎么样？

Phoebe

Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.

以后他们再说要去洗衣店，我们就拿一大堆脏衣服成全他们。

Rachel

Ohhh, I-I would enjoy that!

哦，太好玩了！

Joey

No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.

别，别这样，瑞秋，你知道怎样才更好玩吗？跟他们摊牌。

Rachel

Ehhh, no, I wanna do Phoebe's thing.

呃，算了，我还是听菲比的妙计。

Joey

I can't take any...

我承受不了……

Phoebe

No! You don't have to do anything! Just don't tell them that we know!

不！你什么都不必做！你只要不跟他们告密就成了！

Joey

Noo! I can't take any more secrets! (To Rachel) I've got your secrets. I've got their secrets. I got secrets of my own y'know!

不！我无法保守更多的秘密了！（对瑞秋）我要守你的秘密，我要守他们的秘密，我自己还有秘密要守！

Rachel

You don't have any secrets!

你才没什么秘密呢！

Joey

Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)

哦是吗？你就不知道我睡觉时搂着企鹅哈根斯的秘密吧？（乔伊躲开。）

Rachel

(To Phoebe) So umm, how-how are we gonna mess with them?

（对菲比）那么，我们怎样捉弄他们呢？

Joey

Ugh.

呃。

Phoebe

Well, you could use your position y'know as the roommate.

你就利用室友的身份去探听。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Phoebe

And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality.

而我，会使用我的杀手锏，那就是我的性感。

Chandler

(entering) Hello children!

（进来）孩子们好！

All

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Okay, watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.

好，看着，学着点，还有别动我的饼干。

(She gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther.)

（她起身走到正在向甘瑟点咖啡的钱德勒身边。）

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Phoebe

Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!

嘿！哦，你的外套可真帅！

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Phoebe

(feels his arm) Yeah the material feels so soft---hello Mr. Bicep! Have you been working out?

（摸他的胳膊）对，面料很柔软——你好，二头肌先生！你最近在健身？

Chandler

Well, I try to y'know, squeeze things. (Phoebe giggles uncontrollably.) Are you okay?

我只是尝试把肌肉挤作一堆。（菲比无法控制地咯咯笑。）你没什么不妥吧？

Phoebe

Well, if you really wanna know, I'm---Oh! I can't tell you this.

你真想知道？我，我不能对你说。

Chandler

Phoebe, it's me. You can tell me anything.

菲比，我们一向无所不谈。

Phoebe

Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most.

事实上，我最不能告诉你，又最想向你倾诉。

Chandler

What's going on?

什么事？

Phoebe

I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee---Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.

我和某人朝夕相处，却发现寻寻觅觅，最好的其实早在身边，就在这杯咖啡前——哦，我是否说漏嘴了？剪不断、理还乱，费思量。

(She makes a show of bending over to get her coat and showing off her bum. She then walks out, leaving no one to eat her cookie.)

（她故意弯腰拿外套，展示了一下臀部。然后走了出去，没人吃她的饼干。）

Monica

You are so cute! How did you get to be so cute?

你好可爱！你怎么能这么可爱？

Chandler

Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.

因为我祖父是瑞典人，而我祖母是一只小兔子。

Monica

Okay, now you're even cuter!!

现在你越发可爱了！！

Chandler

Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.

今天大家都这么说。

Monica

What?

什么？

Chandler

The weirdest thing happened at the coffee house, I think, I think Phoebe was hitting on me.

咖啡馆里出怪事了，我想菲比爱上我了。

Monica

What are you talking about?

你说什么呢？

Chandler

I'm telling you I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.

我是说，我想菲比认为我很迷人。

Monica

That's not possible!

不可能！

Chandler

Ow!

哦！

Monica

I'm sorry it's just, Phoebe just always thought you were, you were charming in a, in a sexless kind of way.

抱歉，但是菲比从来都觉得你可爱但不性感。

Chandler

Oh, y'know I-I can't hear that enough.

哦，听你这么说、我可受不了。

Monica

I'm sorry, I think that you just misunderstood her.

对不起，我想你误会她了。

Chandler

No, I didn't misunderstand, okay? She was all over me! She touched my bicep for crying out loud!

不，我没误会，她是在泡我！她抚摩我的二头肌还大喊大叫！

Monica

This bicep?

这块二头肌吗？

Chandler

Well it's not flexed right now!

现在它没有鼓起来！

Rachel

Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?

莫妮卡，你忙什么呢？要不要跟我们去看电影？

Monica

Uhh, y'know actually I was gonna do some laundry.

我想去洗衣店。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Monica

Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me?

钱德，要不要跟我一起去？

Chandler

Sure, I'll do it with ya.

当然去。

Monica

Okay.

好。

Rachel

Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!

好极了，等一下！（她跑回房间，拿出一大袋脏衣服。）哦，给！你不介意帮我们带过去吧，这可帮了我们大忙！多谢！

Monica

I mean I-I don't I think I have enough quarters.

我没这么多硬币。

Phoebe

I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)

我有！（她举起一袋硬币。）

Ross

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Rachel

Hey Ross! Any word on the apartment yet?

嘿 罗斯！公寓的事谈得怎么样了？

Ross

Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.

我打电话问过了，那房子丑陋裸男要自行转租，现在大约上百人在申请。

Rachel

Oh.

哦。

Ross

No-no, I got the edge. I know it's not exactly ethical but I sent him a little bribe to tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)

不，我出我的绝招了。我知道不容易不过我刷了一点小聪明。看看，你们可以从窗户里面看到的。（大家都走向窗户。）

Monica

Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?

哦，是不是那张挂着长弓的弹球机？

Ross

No.

不。

Chandler

That new mountain bike?

新的山地车？

Ross

No.

不是。

Monica

Well what did you send?

那你送的什么？

Ross

A basket of mini-muffins.

迷你松饼篮。

Phoebe

But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?

满桌子都是松饼篮，哪一个是你送的？

Ross

The small one.

小的那个。

Rachel

What?! You-you actually thought that basket was gonna get you the apartment?

什么？！你居然以为一只小小篮子就可以帮你赢得公寓？

Ross

Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.

没错！有一次上班，别人送我一篮松饼，结果所有人都很喜欢吃。那真是最棒的一天。

Chandler

Your work makes me sad.

你的工作令我悲伤。

Ross

Oh man! I want that place so much!! I was so sure that was gonna work! There's twelve bucks I'll never see again! (Exits.)

哦天啊！我很想要那房子！！我本以为那一招一定奏效！12块钱扔水里了！（离开。）

Rachel

All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.

好了宝贝，我们得赶快，才赶得上电影。

Monica

Bye!

拜拜！

All

Bye!

拜拜！

Phoebe

Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)

再见钱德！我已开始思念你。（她捏了捏他的屁股。）

Chandler

(after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!

（他们走后）好，这下你看清了？！她捏我屁股！！

Monica

Actually, I did!

我看见了！

Chandler

Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?

现在你信她被我迷住了？

Monica

Ohhh, oh my God! Oh my God! She knows about us!

哦天啊！她知道咱们的事了！

Chandler

Are you serious?

当真？

Monica

Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!

菲比知道了，她在耍我们呢！这是唯一的解释！

Chandler

(a little hurt) Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging biceps---She knows!

（有点受伤）那你怎么解释她捏我屁股、夸奖我的二头肌发达呢？她知道了！

Commercial Break

广告时间

Chandler

(entering) Joey!

（进来）乔伊！

(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)

（乔伊赶紧把哈根斯扔到头上藏起来。）

Joey

Yeah?

什么？

Chandler

Phoebe knows about us!

菲比发现我们的事了！

Joey

Well I didn't tell them!

我没告诉她们！

Monica

Them?! Who's them?

她们？她们是谁？

Joey

Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.

呃，菲比和乔伊。

Monica

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!

和瑞秋。我本想告诉你们，但她们要我发誓不泄密！！

Chandler

Oh man!

哦，你啊你！

Joey

I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!

对不起！不过，这下什么事都没有了对吧！你们可以宣布你们都知道了，而我也不必再守什么秘密了！

Monica

Unless...

除非……

Joey

No! Not unless! Look this must end now!

别！别“除非”了！游戏结束了！

Monica

Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So...

哦，她们自以为狡猾想玩我们！但她们不知道，我们已经知道她们知道了！那……

Chandler

Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!

对啊，整人的反被整！

Ross

Noooo.

哦。

Rachel

Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!

哦罗斯，宝贝你别再自讨苦吃了！

Phoebe

Yeah, why don't you just find another apartment?

对，我们找别的房子好了。

Ross

Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!

这月我看了一千所房子了，没有一个能和这个相比！

Rachel

Y'know what you should do?

你知道你该怎么办吗？

Ross

Huh?

嗯？

Rachel

You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.

你应该投其所好。比如我如果要找乔伊要什么东西，我会用三明治来作开场白，或者提及我的内裤。

Joey

I'm listening.

我可听着呢。

Rachel

(To Ross) See?

（对罗斯）看见吧？

Ross

That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.

好点子！我了解丑陋裸男，因为我们已经观察他五年了，我又有优势了！我想想看，他曾有一张蹦床。

Phoebe

He broke that.

后来被他踩破了。

Ross

Well, he had gravity boots.

他买了双重力靴。

Rachel

Yeah, he broke those too.

也被他穿破了。

Joey

So he likes to break stuff.

就是说他喜欢弄破东西。

Ross

Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?

我要去接班了——我一定能想出他的嗜好的。（他打开门又停住。）嘿，他以前不是喂过猫吗？

Phoebe

I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.

我不提这事，他只会让猫在外流浪。

Joey

Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.

可怜的猫，他从没去接过它回家。

Ross

Right. (Exits.)

对。（离开。）

(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)

（电话铃响，瑞秋接起。）

Rachel

Hello! (Listens) Oh yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! (To Phoebe) It's Chandler.

你好！（听）哦对，嘿！等等，她在这儿！（对菲比）是钱德。

Phoebe

(in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.

（性感的声音）哦？（从瑞秋手里接过电话。）你好吗。

Chandler

Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)

你好菲比，我整天想着你。（他举着电话让莫妮卡也能听到。）

Phoebe

Eh?

嗯？

Chandler

Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.

昨天你说了那番话，我不可能毫不动心。

Phoebe

Really?

当真？

Chandler

Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.

对，听着，乔伊今晚不在，你过来，我让你好好摸摸我的二头肌，或者到处摸摸。

Phoebe

I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!

我呆会再联络你，好，拜拜！（挂断。）天啊，他让我过去摸他的二头肌和全身！

Rachel

Are you kidding?!

你开玩笑？！

Phoebe

No!

没有！

Rachel

I can not believe he would do that to Mon---Whoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?

想不到他竟然背着莫妮卡乱搞——哇！（她突然停住，慢慢转身指向乔伊。乔伊避开她的目光。）乔伊，他们知道我们知情了吗？

Joey

No.

他们不知道。

Rachel

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

They know you know.

他们知道你们知道了。

Rachel

Ugh, I knew it! Oh I cannot believe those two!

呃，我就说嘛。哦，不敢相信他们俩这样对我们！

Phoebe

God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!

天啊，他们还想耍我们！他们想耍我们！他们不知道我们知道他们知道我们知道了！（乔伊只是摇头。）乔伊，你什么都不准说！

Joey

I couldn't even if I wanted too.

我有这心也没这胆。

Ross

Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize the competition is fierce but---I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.

晚上好先生，我叫罗斯·盖勒，我也申请了求租这间公寓。我知道竞争激烈，不过，抱歉，我忍不住注意到你全身赤裸，我为你喝彩，我真希望自己也脱光光，这样看起来棒极了。上帝的本意就是要我们赤诚相对。

Monica

(in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!

（和钱德勒在厨房）她们吓傻了！

Chandler

Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!

对，她们退缩了！

Monica

Oh yeah!

没错！

Phoebe

All right. All right! If he wants a date? He's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.

好吧，好吧！他想约会对吧，那就和他约会。好，我去。

Rachel

All right. Be sexy.

好，骚一点。

Phoebe

(laughs) Please.

（笑）得了吧还用你教。

(She saunters over to Chandler with a mean pair of 'Come hither' eyes and she glares at Monica.)

（她带着一副“过来吧”的迷人眼神，大摇大摆地走向钱德勒，还瞪了莫妮卡一眼。）

Phoebe

So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.

钱德，我今晚准来。

Chandler

(initially worried, but gets over it) Really?

（一开始有点担心，但很快恢复）真的吗？

Phoebe

Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?

一定来。七点如何？

Chandler

Yes.

好。

Phoebe

Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.

好，期待着和你进行性的交流。

(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. He motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")

“没事，没事。”）

Joey

(looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!

（望向窗外）嘿，看！丑陋裸男有了个裸体朋友！

(They all run over to the window.)

（他们都跑到窗边。）

Rachel

Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)

对啊！哦天哪，那是我们的朋友！（莫妮卡捂住脸。）是裸体的罗斯！（莫妮卡转身把钱德勒的肩膀当掩体。）

All

Yeah, it is! Naked Ross!!

是裸体的罗斯！

Rachel

Show time!

演出开始了！

Phoebe

Okay, Rachel, get me perfume!

瑞秋，给我来点香水！

Rachel

Okay! (She runs to get some.)

好！（她跑去拿。）

Phoebe

And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)

乔伊，给我一瓶酒和两只杯子！（他不情愿地照做。）

(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)

（与此同时，瑞秋拿着香水回来，在菲比面前喷出一片香雾，菲比穿过香雾转了个圈。）

Monica

All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!

好极了！你就假装真想和她上床，这会吓死她！

Chandler

Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?

我能和她疯到什么限度？

Monica

Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do!

放松点，她肯定会先投降的！

Chandler

How do you know?!

你怎知？

Monica

Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!

因为你在我队里！我的队总是赢家！

Chandler

At this?!

这种事上也赢？

Monica

Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)

上！放心上！（吻他。）（她跑进浴室躲起来。）

Rachel

(handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!

（递给她酒）好了宝贝，我就在这里偷听！

Phoebe

Okay.

好。

Rachel

Okay? Whoa, wait! (She undoes one button on Phoebe's dress.)

可以了吗？哇喔，等等！（她解开菲比裙子上的一颗扣子。）

Phoebe

Good idea!

好主意！

Rachel

Yeah, oh wait! (She goes for another one.)

好，等一下！（她又去解另一颗。）

Phoebe

Oh now, don't give away the farm!

哦，别暴露太多！

(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)

（菲比用酒瓶敲门，钱德勒开门。瑞秋躲在门边。）

Chandler

Phoebe.

菲比。

Phoebe

Chandler.

钱德。

Chandler

Come on in.

进来吧。

Phoebe

I was going too. (They go inside and he closes the door.) Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?

正有此意。（他们进去，他关上门。）嗯，我带来美酒，共饮一杯如何？

Chandler

Sure.

乐意之极。

(She makes a big show out of pulling out the cork and pours the wine.)

（她大张旗鼓地拔出软木塞，倒上酒。）

Phoebe

So, here we are. Nervous?

我们这样亲密，紧张吗？

Chandler

Me? No. You?

我？不紧张，你呢？

Phoebe

No, I want this to happen.

不，我求之不得。

Chandler

So do I.

我也是。

(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)

（他们碰杯，抿了一口。抿变成了吞，很快两人同时一饮而尽。）

Chandler

I'm gonna put on some music.

来点音乐？

Phoebe

Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)

我来为你跳支舞。（她开始跳一支既挑逗又滑稽的舞。）

Chandler

You look good.

你看来非常美。

Phoebe

Thanks! Y'know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!

谢谢！听你这么说，我真想扒光你的衣裳！

Chandler

Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?

我们去卧室怎样？

Phoebe

Really?

真的？

Chandler

Oh, do you not want to?

哦，你不想吗？

Phoebe

No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.

不！不，只不过，我想先脱光自己的衣裳，让你用乳液搽满我全身。

Chandler

(swallowing hard) Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.

（艰难地咽口水）听来很棒，我这就去拿乳液。

Chandler

Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Okay? She wants me to put lotion on her!

事情失控了！她想让我给她全身擦上乳液！

Monica

She's bluffing!

她在虚张声势！

Chandler

Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)

她不会退缩的！她这样勾引我！（他学了一下她跳舞的动作。）

Phoebe

He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.

我吓不着他！他去拿乳液了！

Joey

(entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!

（走进走廊）你们怎么还没搞完？！我想坐回我的椅子！

Rachel

Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.

乔伊，你这样想，菲比越快搞定钱德，这事就越早结束。一切就都清楚了！

Joey

Ooh!

我喜欢这样！

Rachel

Okay!

好！

Joey

I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)

（对菲比）好！给他看你的胸罩！他最怕这招，他应付不来的！（他迅速扯开菲比裙子前襟，露出她的胸罩。）

Phoebe

Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons.

乔伊！（检查裙子。）哇，你没解扣子也能做到。

Joey

It's not my first time.

又不是第一次做。

Monica

You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!

你回去引诱她，直到她认输！

Chandler

Okay, give me a second! (Pause) Did you clean up in here?

好，我镇定一下再去。（停顿）你趁机打扫洗手间了？

Monica

Of course.

还用说！

Chandler

Oh, you're-you're going?

你，你要走吗？

Phoebe

Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.

你不走我才不走呢，爱人。（她慢慢走向他，展示着自己的胸罩。）看，这是我的胸罩。

Chandler

(swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very glad we're gonna be having all the sex.

（艰难地咽口水）非常，非常漂亮。过来，非常高兴能和你上床。

Phoebe

You should be. I'm very bendy. (Pause) I'm gonna kiss you now.

那当然，我的身体极富柔韧性。（停顿）我现在要亲你了。

Chandler

Not if I kiss you first.

我先亲你。

(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)

（他们贴近，菲比犹豫地把手放在钱德勒的胯部。他把手放在她的左胯上，然后又换了个位置。菲比抓住他的屁股。钱德勒去抓她的胸，但停住了，把手放在她肩上。）

Phoebe

Ooh.

当务之急是接个吻。

Chandler

Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.

这就来了。

Phoebe

Here it comes. Our first kiss.

我们的初吻。

(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)

（他们缓慢而犹豫地把嘴唇凑到一起，轻轻地吻了一下。菲比震惊地睁大眼睛，钱德勒眯着眼。他只吻了一小会儿就分开了，推开菲比。）

Chandler

Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!

够了！你赢了！你不能和我上床！

Phoebe

And why not?!

为什么不行？！

Chandler

Because I'm in love with Monica!!

因为我爱莫妮卡！！

Phoebe

You're-you're what?!

你什么？！

(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)

（莫妮卡像闪电一样从浴室冲出来，瑞秋和乔伊也都进来了。）

Chandler

Love her! That's right, I...LOVE...HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.

我爱她！没错！我就是爱她！我爱她！！（他们走到一起拥抱。）我爱你，莫妮卡。

Monica

I love you too Chandler. (They kiss.)

我也爱你，钱德。（他们接吻。）

Phoebe

I just---I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!

我，我只知道你们俩上过床了，但我不知道你们相爱了！

Joey

Dude!

老兄！

Chandler

And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.

向菲比脱帽致敬。你是强有力的竞争对手。（停顿）你的胸脯至今还露在外面哦。

Phoebe

God! (She turns and buttons up.)

天啊！（她转身扣上扣子。）

Joey

All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!

好吧！这下真相大白了！人人都知道了！

Monica

Well actually, Ross doesn't.

事实上罗斯还不知道。

Chandler

Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.

请大家不要告诉他。

(Joey suddenly gets very angry.)

（乔伊突然变得非常生气。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's y'know, furnished.

就是这里，新的罗斯将在新的住处诞生。我一旦搬家，就会请您和所有同事过来。

Dr. Ledbetter

I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.

能看到你重新振作，我非常高兴。

Ross

Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.

我是振作了，过去的所有愤怒都已离我而去。

Dr. Ledbetter

I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?

我想是时候欢迎你重新归队，回到博物馆的研究组里来了吧？

Ross

Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. I---What? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh... What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

唐纳德，那可太棒了。我已整装待发，准备回去工作。我——什么？（他注意到窗外的什么东西。）不！你在干什么？！！（利德贝特博士慢慢后退。）离我妹妹远点！！！！！！！！！！！

End

结束