The One With Chandler's Work Laugh

Rachel

Come on Joey!!!

别瞒我了，乔伊！

Joey

Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.

昨晚我已经全对你招了！没什么大不了，他们不过是在办事。

Rachel

I can't believe you would say that!

不敢相信你会那样说！

Joey

Sorry. Monica and Chandler are making love.

好吧，莫妮卡和钱德是在做爱。

Rachel

No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I want---I need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?

不，我是说，这是件大事！（她在沙发上坐到他旁边。）好吧，我要——我需要知道详情，谁先主动献吻的？

Joey

(thinks) I don't know.

（想了想）不知道。

Rachel

Is he romantic with her?

他对她很浪漫吗？

Joey

I don't know.

不晓得。

Rachel

Are they in love?

他们相爱吗？

Joey

(thinks) I don't know.

（想了想）不清楚。

Rachel

You don't know anything.

你一无所知！

Joey

Ohh, I know one thing!

只知道一件事！

Rachel

What?

什么？

Joey

They did it right there on the couch.

他们就在这张沙发上做的。

(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)

（他指了指她坐的地方，她赶紧跳了起来。）

Opening Credits

片头

Joey

Hey Ross!

嘿，罗斯！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

(disinterested) Hey-yeah. (He hurries up to the counter.) Hey Gunther, can I have a scone please? (To the gang.) Wanna hear some good news? Someone I know is getting married! Yeah! And weddings are happy occasions! Oh, by-the-by it's my ex-wife Emily!

（心不在焉）嘿，对。（他快步走到吧台前。）嘿，甘瑟，请给我一块烤饼。（对大家。）想听好消息吗？有人要结婚了！婚礼多快乐！顺便说一句，是我前妻，爱米丽！

All

What? Oh!

什么？哦！

Chandler

Sorry man.

别难过，伙计。

Gunther

Here's your scone.

你的烤饼。

Ross

Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!

哦，谢谢甘瑟。（他接过烤饼，把盘子递给瑞秋，放在桌上，一边把烤饼砸得稀烂一边说。）愚蠢的英国糕点！

Chandler

Did they teach you that in your anger management class?

你从制怒课上学来这招的吗？

Phoebe

Hey, you know what might help you deal with it? Think of it this way, you and Emily are in the past and you can't be mad about the past. So are you still mad about the Louisiana Purchase?

我教你怎么办，你该这样想，你和爱米莉的事是历史了，生历史的气、无济于事。购买路易斯安那州的事你还生气吗？

Rachel

Pheebs, I don't think anyone's mad about that.

菲比，谁会为那种事生气。

Phoebe

Exactly! Because it's in the past!

对嘛，已经是历史了！

Joey

(eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?

（盯着被砸扁的烤饼）有人要吃吗？

Monica

Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?

瞧我们，为办公室派对盛装打扮！对了，是哪门子庆祝啊？

Chandler

Oh, we had a lot of liquor left over from the Christmas party.

哦，圣诞派对后剩下很多酒水。

Monica

I think this is so cool because none of our friends are here and we can be a real couple. We don't have to hide.

太棒了，熟朋友都不会来，我们不必躲躲藏藏了。

Chandler

I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)

正大光明，我可以这样。（牵起她的手。）

Monica

Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)

我也可以这样。（亲了亲他的脸颊。）

(They both stand real close together.)

（两人紧紧地站在一起。）

Both

We can't do that. (They separate.)

那样不行。（分开了。）

(Chandler's boss (Doug) walks up.)

（钱德勒的老板道格走了过来。）

Doug

Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?

嘿，宾宾！（拍了拍他的屁股。）（看到莫妮卡）哇哦哦，这位美女是谁？她怎么会跟你一起的？

Chandler

I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.

我自己也搞不懂，先生。呃，（指着莫妮卡）这是莫妮卡。（指着老板）这是我老板，道格。道格，这是莫妮卡。

Monica

Hi, nice to meet you!

很高兴见到你们！

Doug

Hi! And this is my wife Kara.

我太太，卡拉。

Kara

Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)

很高兴见到你，莫妮卡。宾宾！（拍了拍钱德勒的屁股。）

Doug

Say uh, Bing, did you hear about the new law firm we got working for us?

宾宾，我们刚和一家律师事务所合作，听说了吗？

Chandler

No, sir.

没有，先生。

Doug

Yeah, Dewey, Cheatum, and Howe.

杜威、祁提和豪伟。

(Chandler does a fake laugh.)

（钱德勒发出一阵假笑。）

Doug

Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)

走，我们去喝个痛快。（他们走开了，留下钱德勒和莫妮卡。）

Monica

What was that?

你干什么？

Chandler

What?

嗯？

Monica

That noise you just made?

发出那种噪音？

Chandler

Oh, that was my work laugh.

噢，我的应酬笑法。

Monica

Really? Your work laugh?

应酬笑法？

Chandler

Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too.

信我，这种派对上要想受欢迎，非得来这一手不可！

Monica

All right, check me out.

好。看我的！

Chandler

Okay.

好。

(She walks up to where Doug is finishing another joke to another group.)

（她走到道格正在给另一群人讲笑话的地方。）

Doug

...says $30 Father; same as in town.

……那就30元吧，神父，等同市价。

(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)

（莫妮卡发出一阵假笑。至于笑声什么样，你得看剧集了，我描述不出来。）

Chandler

Hey! Everybody at work loved you last night!

嘿！昨晚上公司的人都对你赞不绝口！

Monica

Really?

当真？

Chandler

And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.

你的表现为我加了印象分，我和乔伊一起亮相时丢的分都追回来了。道格还邀我们打羽毛球。除了公事，他以前话都不跟我说，只有那次在脱衣舞夜总会碰面时，说过一两句。（她瞪了他一眼。）是在……露天教堂……碰见。总之我去找只球拍。

Monica

Hey, I thought you already had one.

你不是有吗？

Chandler

Oh I used too, but then Joey thought it would be fun to go to Central Park and hit rocks at...bigger rocks. (He starts to leave and stops an entering Rachel.) Hey Rach, do you have a tennis racquet?

曾经有过，但乔伊认为拿它去中央公园敲石头会更有趣……敲大石头。（他正要离开，拦住了进来的瑞秋。）嘿，瑞秋，你有网球拍吗？

Rachel

Oh umm, y'know I lent it to Joey and I never actually got it back.

哦，嗯，借给乔伊了，就再没见过。

Chandler

Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)

那祝你好运。（离开。）

Rachel

(To Monica) Hey!

（对莫妮卡）嘿！

Monica

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

What's up?!

怎么样？

Monica

What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.

你在这干嘛？我以为你今天要盘存呢。

Rachel

Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?

本来是的，但我决定要慢慢吃顿午餐，跟我的朋友莫妮卡一起叙叙旧。我们现在很少谈心了。你好吗？有什么新动向？

Monica

Uhh, not much. Uh, work's good.

呃，没什么新鲜事，工作还算顺利。

Rachel

Oh y'know what, we don't have to talk about work. We can talk about anything!

不谈工作，说点别的！

Monica

Okay. Umm...

好吧。嗯……

Rachel

Hey! Y'know what? Let's talk about relationships!

不如这样，谈谈男女关系！

Monica

Okay, what's going on with you?

你交了新男友？

Rachel

Nothing! You go!

没，该你说了！

Monica

Well, I-I---there was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.

银行里有个家伙挺可爱，但我现在改变了看法。

Rachel

Wow that's uh, juicy. Umm, (checks watch) y'know what though Mon, I actually do have a lot of work to do so if-if---are you sure there's just not anything else?

有趣。嗯，（看表）不过呢，莫，我确实公事缠身，你确定不想讲点别的？

Monica

Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?

我确定。有要跟我谈的事吗？

Rachel

No! (Gets up to leave.) (Under her breath.) If there was I wouldn't tell you.

确定。（起身离开。）（小声嘀咕。）就算有，也不会跟你谈。

(The duck quacks.)

（小鸭嘎嘎叫。）

Phoebe

Okay, then what happened?

后来呢？

(The duck flaps its wings frantically.)

（小鸭疯狂地拍打翅膀。）

Phoebe

(gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!

（倒吸一口气）哦，嗯嗯，嗯嗯。（小鸡咯咯叫。）还没完！

Ross

(entering from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs, what's going on?

（从浴室出来）嘿，菲比，怎么了？

Phoebe

Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!

没什么！（把小鸡捡起来放到地上。）（对小鸡。）不！

Ross

No! No! No!

什么？

Phoebe

What?!

什么？

Ross

I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in... (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!

我一宿没睡，给爱米丽写了封缠绵悱恻的信。相当完美，现在却沾满……（小鸭嘎嘎叫。）很感谢！

Joey

(entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?

（从房间出来）准备好去看电影了吗？

Ross

Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it.

我不想去。

Joey

Really?

真的？

Ross

Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.

我想留下看书，现在只想独处。

Joey

Oh. Are you sure you don't want to come? Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, they get mail and stuff.

真不想去？汤姆·汉克斯，梅格·瑞安，他们俩收发电子邮件什么的。

Ross

That's okay, Joe.

不看了，乔。

Joey

All right, let's go Pheebs.

我们走，菲比。

Ross

(licks the envelope and encounters a foreign substance on the glue.) Oh God!

（舔信封，尝到胶水上有异物。）天啊！

Doug

Bing!

宾宾！

(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)

（把球打向钱德勒，钱德勒回了过去。道格又把球打向莫妮卡，莫妮卡猛力扣杀，球弹到了卡拉的腿上。）

Kara

Oww!!

噢！！

Monica

Game!

这局我们胜！

Doug

Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweetheart?

天啊，宾宾，你的搭档真是个母老虎。（对妻子。）你没事吧？

Kara

(out of breath and mouths) I'm not all right.

（气喘吁吁，口型示意）我没事。

Doug

We're, we're just gonna get a little sip of water.

我们喝点水。

(They both walk off the court.)

（两人走出球场。）

Monica

Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!

我今天很在状态吧？他们俩就像待宰的羔羊！

Chandler

Okay, easy Martina. I think we should let them win the next game.

够了，辛吉斯。下一局我们该让他们赢。

Monica

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you just said.

抱歉，我不懂你说什么。

Chandler

Let them win one.

让他们赢一次吧。

Monica

Are you crazy?! We own those two! I mean look at 'um, he can't breath and she's popping pills.

你疯了？我们赢两局了，看他们那熊样儿！他气都喘不匀，而她得吃药了。

Chandler

You're not even giving them a chance!

你一点机会都不给他们！

Monica

They have racquets don't they?!

他们不是有球拍吗！

Doug

Uh Bing, I think we're gonna make this the last game.

呃宾宾，我们再打最后一局吧。

Chandler

Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!

是的，先生！那我算是得救了。您真没参加过职业比赛？（发出工作假笑。）（对莫妮卡）请让他们赢！

Monica

I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.

那我就使九成五的劲，最大的让步了。

(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)

（她发球给道格，道格回给钱德勒。球弹过他的头顶，钱德勒挥拍没击中。）

Chandler

Oopsey, missed it!

呀，没击中！

Monica

I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)

我接到了！（她一记正手扣杀，球正好落在道格和卡拉之间，得分。）

Doug

Nice shot.

好球。

(Chandler glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders. Monica serves again; and Kara returns it.)

（钱德勒瞪着她，她耸耸肩。莫妮卡再次发球，卡拉接了过来。）

Monica

I got it!!

我来！

(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)

（钱德勒抢在她前面，把球打得很高很远。）

Chandler

Long! (Gives Monica the Work Laugh.)

出界了！（对莫妮卡发出工作假笑。）

Monica

I can't believe you let them win!

你竟然放水！

Chandler

Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)

你还算乖，没有当场发火。（从包里拿出一副被砸坏的球拍。）

Monica

I was frustrated.

我感到很灰心。

Chandler

It was my racquet.

那是我的球拍。

Monica

I was frustrated with you!

因为你、我们才输了！

Chandler

If we hadn't lost the game they never would've invented us to dinner tomorrow night.

如果我们不输球，他们决不会邀我们明天共进晚餐。

Monica

Y'know what really bothers me? Is---it's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.

知道我最气什么吗？你工作应酬时和平常判若两人！你打球放水，还假笑。“再见，宾宾！”“再见，道格！”（模仿假笑。）我不喜欢“工作时的钱德”，马屁精。

Chandler

Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.

你这样说，我今晚不出去了。

Monica

I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.

不对劲！我哥不会整晚在外的。

Joey

Maybe we should check the trash chute.

也许我们该找找垃圾道。

Rachel

Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.

罗斯（那么壮，）垃圾道顺不下他。

Joey

That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.

对，差一点。上次我就卡在那里了。

(Ross enters.)

（罗斯进来。）

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

There he is!

他回来了！

Monica

Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!

噢，我的天！（她跑过去想拥抱他，却半路停下来，捶了一下他的肩膀。）你到底上哪去了？

Ross

Just, y'know out.

出去了。

Rachel

Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!

噢，“出去”！天，为什么我们没找过那里呢？

Phoebe

What were you doing?

你干了些什么？

Ross

I uh, went to a bar. And then I just uh, just walked around for a while.

我去了酒吧，然后到处转了转。

Rachel

You walked around all night in the city by yourself?

你独自一人在街上转悠了一晚上？

Joey

(snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.

（打了个响指）他有艳遇，搭上什么妞了！

Ross

Look, I don't have to answer your questions! Okay? I'm a big boy, I can do whatever I want!

我没必要啥都向你们报告，我是大人了，我爱干嘛就干嘛！

Joey

He hooked up!! Tell us about her!

他有艳遇！跟我们说说她的事！

Janice

(entering) Ross you left your scarf in...(sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)

（进来）罗斯，你忘了围巾……（看到大家。）大家好。（发出笑声。）

(They all turn and with shocked looks on their faces stare at Ross. Ross is at a loss for words at this moment.)

（大家都转过身，震惊地盯着罗斯。罗斯此刻无言以对。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Janice

Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!

我知道你们怎么想。但钱德远在也门！我是个年轻女性，我有需要。我不能为他守活寡！

Rachel

Yeah! No that's what I was thinking.

是啊。

Janice

So I'm asking you please, take a moment before you judge me.

求你们别急着怪我。

Phoebe

Oh, nobody's judging you. (They all turn and look at Ross.)

没人怪你。（大家都转头看着罗斯。）

Janice

Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)

哦！（对罗斯）你，理想情人，下次再找我。（发出她著名的——或者该说臭名昭著的——笑声，然后离开。）

(They all turn and glare at Ross.)

（大家都转过来瞪着罗斯。）

Ross

Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say...

我知道你们想说什么……

Phoebe

You two will have very hairy children.

你们俩会生出多毛的孩子。

Ross

Okay, I didn't know you would say that.

没料到你会说这个。

Rachel

Ross! Janice?!

罗斯！珍尼丝？！

Joey

All right, hold on! Hold on. Hold on. This is Ross, okay? He's our friend. He obviously went crazy. He obviously lost his mind.

够了，打住。他是我们的朋友，他显然疯了，失去了理智。

Ross

Look, I didn't lose my mind! Okay, Janice and I have a lot in common! We've-we've both been divorced. We-we both have kids.

我很清醒。珍尼丝和我有共同语言，我们都离婚了，都有孩子。

Phoebe

So are you actually gonna see her again?

你还会再约她吗？

Joey

Phoebe! Don't put ideas in his head!

菲比！别给他灌输什么！

Ross

I am gonna see her again.

我会再约她。

Joey

Damnit Phoebe!!

都怪你，菲比！

Rachel

(entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!

（进来）跟你说一个秘密，我从没坦白过。高中时明知你喜欢詹姆斯，我却跟他约会过。忏悔的感觉真好，该你说了！

Monica

My turn? What-what are you talking about?

该我了？说什么？

Rachel

Ugh, Monica, I know about you and Chandler.

你和钱德的事，我都知道了。

Monica

What?!

什么？

Rachel

I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."

有一天我听到你们讲电话，你说“我会告诉瑞秋，我要洗好几小时的衣服”，然后他说“‘洗衣服’？那是我的新绰号吗？”然后你说“你的绰号是大先生”。

Monica

Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.

你在编剧本吗，瑞秋？那你说后来怎样了。

Rachel

Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.

不知道，我吓死了，赶紧把电话挂了。

Monica

Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big...(Thinks)...ot.

假如你有听下去的话，你会听到我叫他老……顽固。

Rachel

What?!

什么？

Monica

Mr. Bigot. He tells the most racist jokes.

老顽固。他讲了很多种族主义的笑话。

Rachel

All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.

你是说，你和钱德是清白的？

Monica

Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)

我和钱德？（发出假笑。）

Joey

All right, put your 20 bucks down. First one to find the tasty treat wins. Okay?

你放上20元，谁先找到好吃的、谁赢，好吗？

Phoebe

Uh-hmm.

好。

Joey

All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)

选手出笼，各就各位。（他拿掉扣在小鸭头上的垃圾桶和扣在小鸡头上的洗衣篮。）开跑！（他把脚挡在小鸡面前，不让它动弹。）

Phoebe

Get your foot off my contestant! Judge!

裁判，别用脚挡我方选手！

Joey

Judge rules, no violation.

裁判裁定，这不算犯规。

Phoebe

Ohhh.

哦。

Ross

(entering) Hey guys!

（进来）嘿，各位！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Yeah!

对！

(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)

（两人头都没回，盯着小鸡和小鸭找好吃的。）

Ross

Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!

听来有点怪，今天跟珍尼丝约会很愉快。

(They both turn around.)

（两人都转过身来。）

Joey

What?!

什么？

Phoebe

Are you serious?!

当真？

Ross

Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.

我对她倾诉我的遭遇，我连说了好几小时。（乔伊失去了兴趣，又去看比赛了。）感觉太棒了，有个如此专注的听众。

Phoebe

You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We...

不用找珍尼丝当听众，你有我们。我们……

Joey

And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!

鸭子先找到果仁奶油饼干！

Phoebe

(turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!

（从罗斯那边转回来。）不！嘿，那才不是饼干，只是馊馄饨罢了！

Joey

Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.

裁判判定，是果仁奶油饼干。

Phoebe

Ohh, tough call.

黑哨。

Joey

Yeah.

没错。

Doug

But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)

说真的，我坚信我们该支持克林顿总统，以及她的丈夫，比利。（钱德勒发出假笑。）

Kara

So how do you kids like your coffee?

爱喝咖啡吗？

Monica

Oh, none for me. Thanks.

我们不大爱喝。谢谢。

Chandler

Just a little bit of sugar.

得加点糖。

Doug

Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)

端出来让莫妮卡的手指浸一浸就够甜了对吧？（又是一阵假笑。）

(Doug and Kara go get the coffee.)

（道格和卡拉去端咖啡。）

Monica

(To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?

（对钱德勒）不觉那笑声刺耳？

Chandler

Oh, you get used to it.

慢慢你就习惯了。

Monica

Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.

我不行，我受够了。

Chandler

So I laugh at my boss's jokes, what's the big deal?

老板开玩笑、我就笑，有什么大不了的？

Monica

I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.

我宁愿跟一个让我敬重的人交往，而不是个马屁精。

Chandler

Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)

哦。（回过神来，意识到她刚刚说了什么。）

Doug

(entering) Uh, I gotta apologize for Kara's coffee. Y'know, I feel sorry for it if it ever got in a fight, it's not strong enough to defend itself. (Chandler does not laugh.) Did you hear what I said Bing?

（进来）我同情内子的咖啡，不够浓，打起架来完全没能力自卫。（钱德勒没有笑。）宾宾，听到我讲话？

Chandler

What?

嗯？

Doug

The joke Bing. What's the matter with you?

我开玩笑来着。你什么毛病？

Chandler

Well, I-I just didn't think it was funny sir.

我不觉得好笑，先生。

Doug

Excuse me?

什么？

Chandler

Well, I just...

我只是……

Monica

(interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.

（打断）亲爱的，你只是没听懂。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Monica

Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?

真的很有趣，只是你没明白。卡拉煮的咖啡较淡，但道格先生用了weak这个词的另一个意思：身体比较弱。明白了吗？

Chandler

I think I do! (They all laugh.) Thank you, Monica.

了解！（众人都笑了。）谢谢你，莫妮卡。

Monica

I thought you could use the help.

能帮你就好。

Chandler

Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)

咖啡打架！（又发出假笑。）

Joey

(entering) Hey Rach! Hey, you mind if I read my comic books in here?

（进来）嘿，瑞秋！你介意我在这里看漫画吗？

Rachel

Sure! Why?

看你的。跑过来干嘛？

Joey

Oh well, Chandler and Monica are over there and it's kinda hard to concentrate.

钱德和莫妮卡在那边，我很难集中精神看书。

Rachel

What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!

她刚来电说要加班！她老骗我。够了！我要马上过去跟他们对质！

Chandler

(from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!

（从卧室里）你说我讲种族主义的笑话？

Monica

Sorry! I'm just---I'm not very good at this! I'm a terrible liar and I hate having to lie to Rachel!

我不擅长此道。我不会撒谎，尤其讨厌对瑞秋说谎！

Chandler

But we're not ready to tell yet!

但我们还没准备好共诸于众。

Monica

I know! It's just that...ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.

我知道。从中学到现在，瑞秋和我之间都没有秘密，我很想念那种感觉。她是我最好的朋友。

(Rachel decides not to confront them and starts to walk out, knocking over a lamp in the process.)

（瑞秋决定不当面对质，转身离开，不小心碰倒了一盏台灯。）

Monica

(entering) Joey?! Oh my God, Rachel!

（进来）乔伊？哦天哪，瑞秋！

Rachel

Hey! Hi!

嘿！嗨！

Monica

Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.)

你在这里做什么？（她试图把衬衫往下拉，遮住自己穿着男士平角内裤的事实。）

Rachel

Well, I was actually---I-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.

我过来借这盏灯，好看书，为了看清楚点。

Monica

Okay great!

很好！

Rachel

Yeah!

对！

Monica

Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!

我在钱德的房间打扫卫生。他花钱请我。

Rachel

Oh! What a great way to earn some extra pocket money.

这样赚零花钱呀，很棒。

Monica

Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.

我说加班，就是这个，新工作。

Rachel

That's good enough. Right? (Pause.) Okay, well umm, I'm gonna go look at my books!

好工作。好了，我要去看书了！

Monica

Okay.

好。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Monica

I'll get back to my new job.

我继续干活。

(Pause.)

（停顿。）

Rachel

'Kay. (Pause.) Congratulations on your new job. (She goes and hugs Monica and is almost in tears.)

好吧。（停顿。）恭喜你找到新工作！（她走过去抱住莫妮卡，几乎要哭出来。）

(After she exits, Chandler enters.)

（瑞秋走后，钱德勒进来。）

Chandler

Man, she is really gullible.

她真好骗。

(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)

（莫妮卡示意这谎话瑞秋居然没听出来。）

Gunther

Here you go. (Serves them both some coffee.)

你们的咖啡。

Ross

Thanks!

谢谢！

Janice

Actually, I should get going.

我该走了。

Ross

Are you sure? Because I can stay out as late as you want. I told you how I'm on sabbatical from work, right?

你确定？我陪你多晚都行。我告诉过你、我被放长假，对吧？

Janice

Yes! Yes! You did!

你讲过了！

Ross

Oh...

噢……

Janice

What is wrong now?!

现在又出什么毛病了？

Ross

This isn't what I ordered! Man! Can anything go right in my life?! First my marriage falls apart and then...

我点的不是这种！天！我一生中就不能有一件对路的事吗？先是婚姻失败，然后……

Janice

I know! I know! And then you lose your apartment! And then you lose your job! And then your ex-wife gets married so fast! And now the coffee---ahh!! Ross, we need to talk.

我知道！你失去了房子、你失去了工作，前妻很快就再婚，现在咖啡又端错！啊！！罗斯，我们需要谈谈。

Ross

Okay. Sometimes I feel...

有的时候我觉得……

Janice

No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.

不，我有话说。我认为，我们俩没戏唱了。

Ross

Huh?

什么？

Janice

(starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!

（开始哭）你是很可爱，罗斯，但很不幸，我再也受不了听你诉苦了！

Ross

Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.

我没听错吧？你要分手，因为我太烦人了？也就是说我抱怨太多，而你讨厌我？

Janice

Well yeah!!

没错！

Ross

OH...MY...GOD!!

天啊！

Janice

Are you gonna be okay?

你会痊愈的？

Ross

I am now.

已经痊愈了。

Janice

Okay.

那就好。

(Joey enters.)

（乔伊进来。）

Joey

Umm, hi.

呃，嗨。

Janice

Oh hi! Well, I guess that's two out of three, Joey. (Laughs and exits.)

搞定三分之二了，乔伊。（笑着离开。）

(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)

（乔伊一脸惊恐地看着罗斯。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Ross

Dude, we got to talk.

伙计，我们谈谈。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Ross

I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?

我想在别人告密前向你坦白，我和珍尼丝有了一夜情。（他笑了，这次是真笑。）你居然不生气？

Chandler

Why would I be mad?

我干吗要生气？

Ross

Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.

因为按老规矩，朋友妻不可戏，和朋友曾有、现有、将有关系的女孩都不该碰。

Chandler

(realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.

（意识到罗斯说的话对自己的含义）现在我生你的气了！但你知道我会怎么做吗？我要原谅你。因为我们是朋友，朋友互相谅解，哪怕触犯上述的规矩。但我希望你记得，我原谅了你。

Ross

Okay.

好。

Chandler

I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!

我也希望你记得，我让你免费在这里住。

Ross

All right.

好。

Chandler

And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it down---let's write it down!

我还要你记住我无偿给了你二十七块钱。假如你记不住，我们立字为凭！立字为凭！

End

结束