The One With Ross's Sandwich

Phoebe

What am I sitting on?

我坐在什么上面了？

Chandler

Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.

坐在世界之颠？坐在海湾码头？（他想不出别的了）我猜不出。

Phoebe

(taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!

（从沙发里掏出什么东西）呃！谁的内裤！

(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)

（她把内裤扔进厨房，瑞秋用大勺子的柄把它挑起来。钱德勒和莫妮卡一脸惊恐。）

Rachel

All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?

是谁的？站出来！

Ross

Well, they're not mine!

反正不是我的！

Chandler

Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!

是乔伊的！肯定是他的没错！

(Rachel turns and stares at him.)

（瑞秋转身盯着他。）

Joey

Yeah, they're mine.

好吧，是我的。

Chandler

See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!

看？是乔伊的！乔——伊——的！

Ross

Why are they here?

你的内裤为什么在这儿？

Joey

I don't know uhh... (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.

我不晓得……（停顿想了想）因为我是乔伊，我就是恶心，我在别人家里脱裤子。

Rachel

Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?

快拿走！你什么毛病？

Chandler

Yeah!

就是！

Monica

Yeah!

就是！

Rachel

(waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.

（在他面前晃着内裤）拿走！（乔伊叫了一声跳开）乔伊，你连自己的内裤也不敢碰！

Joey

(reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.

（不情愿地接过去）钱德？出来谈谈。

(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)

（跟着乔伊走进他们的公寓，出门时耸耸肩。）

Joey

That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?

到此为止！我厌倦了为你们俩遮羞！这必须停止！（意识到手里还拿着内裤）啊！（把内裤扔向钱德勒的房间）居然把三角裤给玩丢了！你以为你是什么，三岁小孩吗？

Monica

(entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!

（进来）多谢你乔伊，非常感谢！

Joey

Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)

嘿，用不着你谢。听着，我很不爽！你们俩老让我当众出丑！（对莫妮卡）昨天瑞秋在我们卧房发现你的刮毛器，我没法解释，只好说那是我在用，因为在戏里要反串！结果倒好，（他把腿搁在椅子上，卷起裤腿，露出已经刮过毛的腿。）

Monica

(inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.

（检查他的腿）哇！脚踝周围也刮干净啦，这里可是死角。

Joey

Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't...

没错！听好，我再也不想……

Chandler

(interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.

（打断他）偷偷摸摸我们也不好受。

Joey

Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!

是啊，不过做爱以后你们就快活多了！

Chandler

Well, yeah actually.

哦，那倒是。

Monica

We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.

我们以后更谨慎些好吗？我们不想公开，因为也许正是地下交往所以我们俩感情才这么好！

Chandler

I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.

我知道这听来很离谱，但我们实在都不擅长谈恋爱。

Monica

We are! Help us!

我们总是搞砸！帮帮我们！

Chandler

Help!

请帮忙！

Joey

All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.

好吧！不过，（对莫妮卡）那你跟我睡一次。

Monica

Joey!

乔伊！

Joey

Didn't think so.

说说而已。

Opening Credits

片头

Monica

Hey, Phoebe!

嘿，菲比！

Chandler

Hi, Pheebs!

嗨，菲比！

Rachel

Hey, Pheebs!

嘿，菲比！

Joey

Hey, Pheebs!

嘿，菲比！

Rachel

What are you reading?

看什么书呢？

Phoebe

Umm, Wuthering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.

《呼啸山庄》。我必须在明天第一节课前读完它，因为我在一间新学校里选修了文学课。

Chandler

I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.

没想到你会去上课，太酷了。

Phoebe

Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.

那是因为我真的喜欢上次的助产课！所以这次我想学点更长知识、又不必考试的课程。

Rachel

Honey that sounds like fun.

宝贝，听起来很好玩。

Phoebe

Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!

那你和我一起去吧！那我就有同班同学啦！

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Phoebe

Yeah! Okay---ooh, but are you going to have time to read it?

哦，但你哪有时间看书呢？

Rachel

Oh, I read that in high school.

那本书我高中时读过。

Phoebe

This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.

一定很有意思！好了小声点，我得把它读完。

Ross

(entering, depressed) Hi.

（进来，沮丧）嗨。

Joey

What's wrong buddy?

兄弟怎么了？

Ross

Someone at work ate my sandwich!

有同事吃了我的三明治！

Chandler

Well, what did the police say?

那警察怎么说？

Ross

My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!

是感恩节留下的三明治。居然被人偷吃了！

Chandler

Ross, it's just a sandwich!

罗斯，只是一块三明治而已！

Ross

Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!

只是三明治？我三十了，将要二度离婚，而且房东逼我搬家！那块三明治是我生命中唯一美好的东西！有人吃掉了我生命中唯一美好的东西！

Monica

Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)

好吧，我有更好吃的东西，本来想留着自己吃的，不过（示意他可以拿去。）

Ross

(quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.

（轻声）太好了。多谢。我还是不敢相信居然有人偷吃我的东西！因为，你看，我留了条子在上面。

(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)

（把纸条给钱德勒，他大声读出来。）

Chandler

(reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?

（读）有人在吗？我是罗斯·盖勒的午饭。请别吃掉我，好吗？

Joey

I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.

奇怪你居然没有把午饭顶在头上。

Phoebe

Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.

好吧，如果你真想看住你的食物，以我多年来为了生计和形形色人打交道的经验来看，你就得把人们吓退。

Ross

Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"

真的？那你会怎么写，菲比？是不是“把你的脏手从我的食物上拿开！”

Chandler

Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?

罗斯，当菲比说她为生活而打拼，你是不是就会联想到《孤女安妮》里的演员们？

Phoebe

Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)

写好了，这下我看谁还敢动你的食物！（给他写了一张纸条，大家读了。）

All

Whoa! Ohh!!

哇喔，高！

Monica

Phoebe, you are a bad ass!

菲比，你真流氓！

Phoebe

Someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.

改天告诉你我扎伤警察的事。

Monica

Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

Well, he stabbed me first!!

是对方先扎我！

Rachel

(To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.

（对菲比）对不起我来迟了，但我下班太晚。

Phoebe

Okay.

好的。

Rachel

So Pheebs, what is the book about?

菲比，这书写什么的？

Phoebe

I thought you said you read it in high school.

你不是说你高中就读过？

Rachel

Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anyway---umm, what is this book about?

嗯，我曾经试图要读这本书，还给自己鼓了好多次劲，不过，嗯，这书说什么的？

Phoebe

Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.

嗯，这是凯茜和希刺克里夫的爱情悲剧，发生在英格兰一个毛骨悚然的地区。我想这象征着希刺克里夫性格中野性不羁的一面。这就叫“象征主义”。

The Teacher

How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?

你如何归纳这本书的主题？（看花名册）我们请谁回答呢，瑞秋·格林？

Rachel

Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.

嗯，我得说，这是一个爱情悲剧。

The Teacher

Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else?

那好象不言自明，还有谁知道？

Rachel

Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.

哦，象征主义！还有，嗯，蛮荒的环境，我想是反映希刺克里夫性格中野性不羁的一面。

The Teacher

Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here...

回答得很好！聪明的瑞秋已经发现……

Phoebe

(To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!

（对瑞秋）你剽窃我的答案！

Rachel

Well, honey that was pretty obvious.

宝贝，这书的主题不是明摆着吗。

Phoebe

Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!

但你怎么会知道？你压根没读过它！

The Teacher

What do you think? You in the blue shirt.

你怎么看，蓝衣服的姑娘？

Phoebe

I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.

我认为，嗯，这是个见人见智的问题。

The Teacher

Would ya care to venture one?

那你能谈谈你的想法吗？

Phoebe

Would you care to venture one?

你是在鹦鹉学舌对吧？

The Teacher

Are you just repeating what I'm saying?

你是在鹦鹉学舌对吧？

Phoebe

Are you just repeating what I'm saying?

你是在鹦鹉学舌对吧？

The Teacher

All right, let's move on.

算了，继续上课。

Phoebe

Okay then.

好的。

Phoebe

Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!

你为什么不干脆承认你没读过呢？

Rachel

Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!

因为，因为我不想他觉得我蠢！不过你刚才也够糗的！

Ross

(entering) Phoebe!

（进来）菲比！

Phoebe

Yeah?

什么？

Ross

Phoebe! Your note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.

菲比！你的字条，效果神奇！同事们不但不敢动我的三明治，而且都开始怕我。有个家伙叫我神经病，神经病盖勒，呵呵，我一直都想有这么酷的外号。

Monica

Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.

是啊，高中时你最好的外号就是“湿裤子盖勒”。

Ross

That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!

那只是因为喷泉！好吧？大家帮我写报告，为适应我的时间表而推迟截止日期。告诉你们说，只要态度强硬，要什么有什么！（乔伊端着一杯咖啡走过。）嘿小崔，把咖啡给我！马上！

(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)

（乔伊随手把罗斯从沙发背上推过去，得意地坐下。）

Cynthia

God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.

太有趣了！我正猜想你会不会再约我呢。

Joey

So you uh, still wondering?

那你现在还在猜吗？

Cynthia

No, we just went out.

没有了，刚才我们不是约会了吗。

Joey

You're smart. I like that.

你很机灵，我喜欢。

(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)

（他去开公寓的门，发现锁着。他掏钥匙的时候，钱德勒和莫妮卡赶紧从客厅的亲热中跳起来，跑进钱德勒的卧室。公寓里点着大约20根蜡烛。乔伊开门请辛西娅进去。）

Cynthia

Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)

哦，蜡烛！（注意到什么）那是什么？毯子？摄像头？天哪！（她气冲冲地离开，瑞秋回来，听到了对话。）

Joey

Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!!

哦，别！别！留步！别走！

Cynthia

I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)

难以置信，你居然想在我们第一次约会就拍下做爱的场面！（她冲走，瑞秋进来质问乔伊。）

Joey

Hiya.

你好。

Rachel

Joey, is what she just said umm---Oh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna... (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)

乔伊，她刚才说的当真？哦天呵。（环顾房间）你还真做得出……（钱德勒这时候回到客厅。）（瑞秋震惊地盯着。）

Chandler

What is going on here?

这里发生什么事了？

Rachel

And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?

而且钱德就在隔壁，你怎么了，有病？

(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)

（钱德勒无声地恳求乔伊帮他们打掩护。）

Joey

I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)

我是乔伊嘛，我就是恶心。我拍摄低成本成人电影。（生气地指着钱德勒。）

Commercial Break

广告时间

Joey

You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!

你们俩发誓要注意影响的！好人乔伊被你们搞得斯文扫地啦！

Monica

We're so sorry.

我们很抱歉。

Chandler

Yeah.

是的。

Joey

Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!

我要全都说出去！这样才能解释清楚内裤和摄像机的事，这样我才不像一头猪。

Chandler

No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.

别，等一下！我有更好的解释。你可以跟他们讲，你得拍一部成人电影，拿去上成人电影课。

Joey

Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?

嗯，这主意好。不过，瑞秋在你们家发现我的内裤又怎么解释？

Chandler

Oh---I don't know.

哦？我不知道。

Joey

Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!

公开你们的恋爱关系吧！

Monica

Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.

请再等等。我们总会有办法的，再给我们一点时间。

Joey

All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!

好吧，你们想出来的办法最好让我看起来非常，非常伟大。（走向自己房间）哦，还有，摄象机？高招！！

Dr. Leedbetter

Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?

嗯，罗斯，跟你谈谈可以吗？

Ross

Yeah, of course, Donald.

当然可以，唐纳德。

Dr. Leedbetter

We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part.

有人告状说你最近有一些愤怒的行为。

Ross

What?!

什么？！

Dr. Leedbetter

Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.

写恐吓信，拒绝遵守截止期限，大家开始叫你神经病。

Ross

(Proudly) Yeah.

（自豪地）是的。

Dr. Leedbetter

We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.

希望你能跟心理医生谈一谈。

Ross

Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich.

哦不，你不明白，这好象有点傻气，这都只是因为我的三明治。

Dr. Leedbetter

(laughs) A sandwich?

（笑）三明治？

Ross

Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here...

是啊，我的妹妹做了一些很好吃的火鸡三明治。她的秘方是，她在其中多夹了一层肉汁浸过的面包。我把它称作“湿滑口感专家”。总之我放了一块三明治到这个冰箱里。

Dr. Leedbetter

(laughs) Oh, you know what?

（笑）哦，你知道吗？

Ross

What?

什么？

Dr. Leedbetter

I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that.

对不起，我，是我吃了它。

Ross

You ate my sandwich?

你吃我的三明治？

Dr. Leedbetter

It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.

只是拿错了而已，任何人都可以犯错。

Ross

(getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?

（开始生气）哦是吗？你吃你自己的火鸡三明治，居然吃掉我的“湿滑口感专家”？

Dr. Leedbetter

No.

不是这样的。

Ross

Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?

你有没有碰巧看见上面贴着一张字条？

Dr. Leedbetter

There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.

我以为有人开玩笑，写打油诗什么的在上面呢。

Ross

(getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!

（开始愤怒）上面写清楚了那是我的三明治？！

Dr. Leedbetter

Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it may still be in the trash.

冷静，到我办公室来，也许在垃圾筒里还能找到你的三明治。

Ross

(jumping to his feet in anger) What?

（愤怒地跳起来）什么？

Dr. Leedbetter

Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.

它个头太大，我不得不扔掉了很多。

Ross

You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!

你……你……你……（努力保持冷静）你把我的三明治扔掉？

Ross

(losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!

（失控，听到他在外面大喊）我的三明治?!!!

Ross

MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)

我的三明治!!!!!!（罗斯的尖叫吓跑了一群鸽子。）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

(sitting down) So umm, what's this book about?

（坐下）那，今天这本书讲什么的？

Phoebe

You didn't read this one either?!

你又不看？

Rachel

Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.

本来想看的，后来看别的去了。

Phoebe

What?

看什么？

Rachel

Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.

《时尚》杂志！嘿，跟我讲讲这个叫简爱的女人。

Phoebe

No! You should've read it yourself!

不讲！你应该自己读！

Rachel

Come on Phoebe! Don't be such a goodie-goodie!

好菲比，装什么乖宝宝！

Phoebe

Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.

好吧。简爱，听名字你以为她是个女人；其实她是电子人。

Rachel

A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?!

电子人？那岂不是有点像机器人？

Phoebe

Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.

对，这本书领先时代几光年。

The Teacher

(entering) Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre?

（进来）对不起我来迟了。开始上课，各位怎样评价简爱？

Phoebe

Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.

嗯，瑞秋刚才正和我讨论，她的见解相当有趣。

The Teacher

Well, go ahead Rachel.

说说看，瑞秋。

Rachel

Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.

嗯，谢谢菲比。《简爱》这本书最吸引我的地方是它领先于时代。

The Teacher

If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.

如果你指的是女权意识，我同意。

Rachel

Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots.

不错，女权意识，但还有机器人也很领先。

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Monica

Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)

嘿。因为摄像的事没成功，所以我给你带了点预览照片。（递给他一张宝丽来照片。）

Chandler

(gasps) You're naked in this picture!

（倒吸一口气）你的全裸照！

Monica

I know.

我知道。

(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)

（罗斯走进来，吃着棉花糖。莫妮卡用肘碰钱德勒，他把照片藏进杂志里。罗斯坐在椅子上，似乎有点迷糊。）

Chandler

Ross?

罗斯？

Ross

(in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!

（恍惚地）嘿钱德。（看到莫妮卡）莫妮卡！

Monica

Ross, are you okay?

罗斯，你没事吧？

Ross

I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.

我很好！我今天去看心理医生了。

Monica

Why?!

为什么？

Ross

On account of my rage.

治疗我的愤怒。

Chandler

Which I may say, right now, is out of control.

如今你情绪有点失控？

Ross

He gave me a pill for it.

他让我吃了药。

Monica

A pill?

吃药？

Ross

Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought it was a good idea so, I took it.

嗯，医生说我对老板吼叫，所以必须停职查看一段时间，我又大为光火，所以他给我一片镇静剂，我认为这主意不错所以吃了。

Monica

Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?

等一下，他们让你停职？

Chandler

And you're okay with that?

而你居然接受？

Ross

I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.

不知道。也许一段时间不上班有点奇怪，不过我已经不再在意我的三明治了。

Rachel

(entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!

（进来，生气地）羞死人了！想不到你一直听任我出丑！

Phoebe

(smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.

（微笑）我很抱歉。当你拿简爱和机械战警作比较，实在太有趣了。

Rachel

That was not funny!

这不好笑！

Phoebe

Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.

好吧我是故意捉弄你！谁让你上课不认真呢。

Rachel

Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!

菲比得了吧！这又不是什么大件事！我只是想和你做同一件事，我本以为会很有意思的！

Phoebe

Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.

好，有意思是没错，但我还想学点东西。大家总是谈论高中生活，而我从没上过高中。

Rachel

Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?

哦，原来你真想学东西。好吧，菲比，但我只想找点乐子。哦，你知道应该带谁去上课吗？

Monica

(yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!

（大喊并挥舞着手）我知道！我知道！我知道！

The Teacher

Monica, you asked the question.

莫妮卡，你来问问题好了。

(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)

（她泄气地坐回去，菲比厌恶地呻吟。）

Rachel

(sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!

（看到照片）哦天啊！是莫妮卡！！

Joey

Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!

哦不！不！不不不不不！

Rachel

You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!!

滚远点！变态——狂！

Ross

(entering, with the rest of the gang) What's going on?

（和大家一起进来）什么事？

Rachel

Joey has got a secret peephole!

乔伊偷窥！

Chandler

(Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)

（看到照片）哦没有！（莫妮卡也倒吸一口气。）

Rachel

Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!

他有！他有一张莫妮卡的裸照！他还给大家都拍裸照！然后他一边吃鸡一边欣赏！

(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)

（罗斯震惊地盯着他，乔伊生气地放下炸鸡，脱掉外套。）

Rachel

Look! (Shows Ross the picture.)

看！（把照片给罗斯看。）

Ross

(covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)

（捂住眼睛）别这样！她是我妹妹！（她把照片给其他人看。）

Monica

(grabbing the picture) Give me that!

（抢过照片）给我！

Phoebe

All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!

够了！大家冷静一下好吗？给我们的朋友乔伊机会解释他为什么是如此一个变态佬！

Joey

No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just... I just... Kinda...

不！我不是变态佬！只是…我…有点…

Chandler

All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.

好，我想我能解释这事。

(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)

（他走过去站在乔伊身后。）

Joey

Thank you!

谢谢你！

Chandler

Joey's a sex addict.

乔伊是个性瘾患者。

Joey

What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!

什么？！！（他转过身瞪着钱德勒，钱德勒无声地求他配合。）我不是！！

Monica

It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!

这没什么！这很好！这很好，只是一种疾病！

Joey

No! No! I am not a sex addict!

不！不！我不是什么性瘾患者！

Monica

Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!

你是的！所以你才花样百出！

Joey

No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!

不是这样！不是！因为真相也能解释！

Rachel

Well, what is the truth?

那你说真相是什么？

Ross

Yeah, what's going on?

对啊，发生了什么事？

Phoebe

What's going on?

发生了什么事？

Joey

(thinking) I slept with Monica.

（想了想）我和莫妮卡睡过了。

Chandler

Well let's....let's see what everybody thinks of that?

大家怎么看？

Monica

Oh no!

哦，不！

Ross

You slept with my sister?

你竟和我妹妹上床？

Joey

Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.

对，不过只有一次，在伦敦。

Ross

This is not good for my rage. (Takes another pill.)

这对控制我的愤怒可没好处。（又吃了一片药。）

Rachel

Monica, is this true?

莫妮卡，是真事吗？

Joey

Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?

当然是真的！不然你怎么解释这么多怪事？

Monica

Yes it's true.

是真的。

Rachel

Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?

好吧，如果只是一夜情，那天你的内裤怎么跑到我们公寓来了？

Joey

Ahh---oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?

啊？那是我在伦敦当夜穿的内裤。对吧，莫妮卡？

Monica

I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.

我大概是想珍藏（停顿）作为纪念物。

Ross

My God Monica!!

天哪莫妮卡！！

Chandler

Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a sex addict?

你确定吗，乔，你确定你不是性瘾患者？

Joey

No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!

我不是！如果这里有人是的话，那一定是莫妮卡，错不了。伦敦归来后她一直企图引诱我再度失身！

Phoebe

So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.

所以她才给你裸照。

Joey

That makes sense!

就是这样！

Rachel

And the video camera?

那摄影机呢？

Joey

Uhh, Monica?

嗯，莫妮卡？

Monica

I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.

是我想用摄影机引诱乔伊。

Joey

But sadly I could not be enticed.

可惜我坚贞不屈。

Ross

Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?!

难以置信！你真的留着乔伊的内裤？你为什么这样做？

Monica

I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.

因为我是莫妮卡。我就是恶心。我勾搭男人，还保留他们的内裤。

Joey

Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)

我想现在谁恶心谁不恶心，一清二楚了吧，大家？好，现在我又可以吃鸡了。我只吃鸡皮，鸡肉你们随便拿！（递给每个人。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Phoebe

I really thought you made a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.

我认为你讲得很好，直到你被打断。

A Female Student

Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?

那个莫妮卡有什么毛病啊？

Phoebe

I don't know! I didn't come with her!

不知道！我不跟她一起的！

Monica

(entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!

（高兴地进来）大家猜猜看怎么着！我已经说服保罗下周给我们来一次考试！

All

A test?!!

考试?!!

Monica

Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!

别怕！考试会让我们学得更好！对了！应该考考散文方面的题目！！（跑出去。）

End

结束