The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks

Rachel

Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.

莫妮卡，这是我过过的最好的感恩节晚餐！你就要把我们撑死了。

Ross

I couldn't possibly eat another bite.

我一口也吃不下了。

Joey

I need something sweet.

我还得来块甜点。

Phoebe

Does anyone wanna watch TV?

你们想看电视吗？

All

Yeah, sure.

好啊。

(She starts pushing the power button on the remote, but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.)

（她开始按遥控器的电源键，但没对准电视，所以没反应。）

Phoebe

Monica your remote doesn't work.

莫妮卡，你的遥控器坏了。

Monica

Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.

菲比，你得把它拿起来对准。

Phoebe

Oh. Aw, forget it.

哦，那就算了。

Rachel

Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.

我知道该做什么了，大家来讲自己最感激的事吧。

Joey

Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.

我！我感谢我们度过的这个美丽的秋天。

Monica

That's very nice.

很不错。

Chandler

That's sweet, Joey.

很甜蜜，乔伊。

Joey

Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs.

因为那天我在车站，可爱的秋风忽然吹落了一个美女的裙子。哦，还有，我还很感激她的丁字裤。

Opening Credits

片头

Joey

I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?

穿了，还是没穿？

Chandler

Are you aware that you're still talking?

你知道自己在说什么吗？

Monica

Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?

有没有不是感谢丁字裤的人？

Ross

Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.

我不知道该选哪个。是离婚还是被赶出去？嗯。

Phoebe

Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.

哇，你看，我本来以为你说不出什么呢。

Ross

I'm sorry. It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.

对不起，我的感恩节真是糟糕透了。

Chandler

No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.

不，不，不！我的感恩节才是最糟的。你不能凭你那糟糕的婚姻就把这头衔抢走。

Rachel

Oh, you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?

你不会又想把你父母离婚的故事再重复一遍吧？

Ross

Oh God, no.

哦上帝，别。

Joey

Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!

干吗不，我想听！一个没有钱德扫兴的感恩节是不完整的！

Chandler

It's a tradition, like the parade. If the parade decided it was gay, moved out, and abandoned its entire family.

就是，这是传统，就像游街，只不过游街不会告诉我它是同性恋，更不会抛弃整个家庭。

(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)

（于是，我们开始了一系列对往昔感恩节的闪回。）

Thanksgiving 1978

1978年感恩节

Mrs. Bing

Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.

钱德勒宝贝，我和你爸爸离婚，但这并不意味着我们不爱你了。只是意味着你爸爸将不会和我，而是和某个男管家睡觉了。

The Housekeeper

More turkey Mr. Chandler? (And he makes eyes at him.)

再来点火鸡吗，钱德先生？（对他使眼色。）

Present Day

现在

Ross

You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.

你说的对，你的最糟。你是糟糕感恩节之王。

Phoebe

I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.

我不这么认为，我有个更糟的。

Chandler

Really? Worse than, "More turkey Mr. Chandler?"

真的？比“火鸡，钱德先生”还糟？

Phoebe

Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!

哦，一个富男孩和他的管家的故事？当然，我的更糟！

Thanksgiving 1862

1862年感恩节

Past Life Phoebe

More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying--- (She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out. And upon seeing her condition, she says...) Oh no.

绷带！绷带！请给我点绷带吧！这个人快死了——（帐外一枚炮弹爆炸。硝烟散去，她少了一条胳膊，血像喷泉一样涌出。看到自己的状况，她说……）哦不。

Present Day

现在

Ross

In this life, Phoebe.

这辈子，菲比！

Phoebe

Oh, this life! Oh okay no, Chandler's is worse.

哦这辈子，那好，钱德的最糟。

Joey

Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.

真酷！你能记得这些东西。我就一点前世的记忆都没有。

Phoebe

Of course you don't sweetie. You're brand new.

当然了亲爱的，你是全新的。

Rachel

I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.

我知道莫妮卡最糟的感恩节。

Monica

Oh, let's not tell this story.

还是别提它了。

All

Oh, come on!

拜托～

Phoebe

Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!

我知道我知道！是乔伊把莫妮卡的火鸡套在头上的事！

Rachel

What?! Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?!

什么？乔伊把火鸡套在头上？

Joey

Hey, it's not like it sounds.

嘿，事实不是这样的。

Chandler

It's exactly like it sounds.

事实就是这样的。

Thanksgiving 1992

1992年感恩节

Joey

(muffled) Hello?

（闷声）哈喽？

Phoebe

(surprised) Hello?

（吃惊）哈喽？

Joey

Phoebe?

菲比？

Phoebe

Joey? What's going on?

乔伊，怎么回事？

Joey

Look. (He walks out of the bathroom with his head stuck in a huge turkey.)

看。（他从浴室走出来，头卡在一只大火鸡里。）

Phoebe

Oh my God!

哦我的天哪！

Joey

I know! It's stuck!!!

我知道，它套住了！

Phoebe

(walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?

（带他到厨房）别紧张，先下来。你怎么套上的？

Joey

I put it on to scare Chandler!

我想套上它来吓钱德。

Phoebe

Oh my God! Monica's gonna totally freak out!

哦天那，莫妮卡会气疯的。

Joey

Well then help me get it off! Plus, it smells really bad in here.

那就快帮我取下来，这里面真难闻。

Phoebe

Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head up a dead animal.

当然难闻了，谁让你把头插到死尸的屁股里。

(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)

（他们听见莫妮卡在开门。菲比赶紧把他的头按到桌上，让火鸡看起来只是放在盘子里，而不是套在乔伊头上。）

Monica

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Monica

Hey, did you get the turkey basted---Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?

嘿，你把火鸡上油了吗？哦我的天，哦我的天！这是谁？

Joey

It's Joey.

是我，乔伊。

Monica

What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?

你这是干吗？难道这很好玩吗？

Phoebe

No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.

不，不是为了好玩，而是为了吓人。

Monica

Well, get it off now!

快给我取下来！

Joey

I can't! It-it's stuck!

我做不到，它套住了！

Monica

Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!

我不管，我父母还要用火鸡招待20多号人呢，他们总不能吃你的头吧！

Phoebe

All right, hold on! Okay, let's just all think.

别急，我们先想想办法。

(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey.)

（大家开始想办法。乔伊抬手摸下巴，但他的下巴正在火鸡里，结果摸的是火鸡。）

Monica

Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!

有了。菲比，你用力拉，我尽量把腿张大。（乔伊开始笑）乔伊，什么时候了还开玩笑！

Joey

Sorry! Sorry.

对不起！对不起！

(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)

（他们摆好姿势准备把火鸡拔下来。）

Monica

Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!

好，数数，1，2，3！

(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)

（两人一起拉，但乔伊滑脱了，开始向后倒，正好钱德勒进来，吓了他一跳。）

Chandler

Arghhhhhh!!

啊～！

Joey

(pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!

（指着）奏效！我吓到你了，我早知道了，哈哈！

Chandler

I'm over here big guy.

我在这边，大块头。

Joey

(turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!

（完全转过来，但仍然没面对钱德勒）对，我知道！我吓到你！

Present Day

现在

Chandler

(laughing) You did look like an idiot.

（笑）你当时看起来真像白痴。

Joey

Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"

嘿，又不只我一个人看起来白痴。好吧？还记得罗斯想说“笋瓜”，结果说成了“瓜和笋”？

Ross

Yeah that's the same.

对，那也差不多。

Monica

That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.

的确，那就是我最糟的感恩节。

Phoebe

Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?

等等！这可不是瑞秋要说的那个，她都不知道这件事。你说的是哪个？

All

Which one?

哪个？

Monica

Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.

呃，我真的不想再提那事了。

Chandler

Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.

拜托，莫妮卡，感恩节的意义就在于分享痛苦、减轻压力嘛。比如说我，还有印第安人。

Monica

Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!

其实，众人中，你肯定最不愿意听到这个故事！

Thanksgiving 1987

1987年感恩节

Mrs. Geller

Monica! I think Rachel's here!

莫妮卡！我想是瑞秋来了！

Monica

I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!

我来开！（她跑进来，还是以前胖胖的样子。跑了一小段就气喘吁吁。她走过去开门，瑞秋还是以前的大鼻子。）感恩节快乐！

Big Nosed Rachel

Not for me. Chip and I broke up!

我糟透了，齐普和我分手了！

Fat Monica

Oh, why? Why? What happened?

为什么？发生什么事了？

Big Nosed Rachel

Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over...

你知道，我父母要出城去，所以齐普要来和我……

Fat Monica

Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.

对对，你们要……翻云覆雨。

Big Nosed Rachel

Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me!

男人是不懂得温柔的！相信我！

(Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.)

（走进客厅，和莫妮卡的父母打招呼。）

Big Nosed Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Mr. Geller

Hi Rachel!

嗨，瑞秋！

Big Nosed Rachel

Happy Thanksgiving!

感恩节快乐！

Mrs. Geller

You too sweetheart!

你也是，亲爱的！

Ross

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut.)

（他带钱德勒回家过感恩节。钱德勒留着当时很流行的“海鸥乐队”发型。）

Mr. Geller

Oh my!

哦天哪！

Ross

Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!

呃，各位，这是钱德！我的室友兼乐队主唱！

Fat Monica

Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)

罗斯！（希望被介绍。）

Ross

Oh, this is Monica.

哦，这是莫妮卡。

Fat Monica

Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.

嗨，我是罗斯的妹妹。

Chandler

(seeing her) Okay.

（看到她）好。

Mrs. Geller

I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.

很高兴你能来，钱德。我准备了很多食物，希望你已经饿了。

Ross

Oh, mom. Mom. Chandler hates Thanksgiving and doesn't eat any Thanksgiving food.

哦妈，妈。钱德讨厌感恩节，所以不吃任何感恩节食品。

Mrs. Geller

Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.

那好，很高兴你带他来。

Fat Monica

Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.

呃，钱德，如果你需要的话，我可以给你做些通心面和干酪吃。

Chandler

Well, as long as the pilgrims didn't eat it, I'm in.

只要朝圣者还不吃，我也不吃。

(As she is drinking, Monica laughs at Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)

（莫妮卡正在喝健怡可乐，听了钱德勒的笑话，可乐从鼻子里喷出来。）

Fat Monica

dammit! (Runs off.)

该死！（跑开。）

(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)

（罗斯把钱德勒指向瑞秋，然后走过去和她说话。瑞秋正用小镜子看自己的鼻子。）

Ross

So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.

所以，呃，瑞秋？现在这里感觉奇怪吗？你知道，我上大学离开了一阵。

Big Nosed Rachel

Oh! No, not really.

哦，没什么。

Ross

Well, that's cool. So did...

那好，那么你……

(She walks away from him and he shuts up.)

（她走开了，他闭上了嘴。）

(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)

（瑞秋溜进厨房，莫妮卡正在给钱德勒做晚饭。）

Big Nosed Rachel

Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!

呃！我简直不能相信齐普居然和那个荡妇南希·布兰森出去。我再也不和他约会了，不管他怎么求我！

Fat Monica

I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.

我想他不会再求你了，因为他现在已经和那个荡妇出去了。

Big Nosed Rachel

Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!

你知道吗？我恨透了高中男生了！他们简直太幼稚了！都是幼稚、愚蠢的男孩！我需要一个真正的男人！

Ross

Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.

呃，朱蒂，你和杰克要的碗我找不到。

Fat Monica

Call them mom and dad you loser!

叫爸妈，你个败类！

Ross

(in a high pitched voice) Monica!

（尖声）莫妮卡！

Fat Monica

Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?

嘿，钱德！通心面和干酪如何？

Chandler

Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.

哦，很好，你应该做个厨师。

Fat Monica

Okay!

好的！

(He gets up and walks away as Rachel comes running over all excited.)

（他起身走开，瑞秋兴奋地跑过来。）

Big Nosed Rachel

Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!

知道吗？那个荡妇的事只是谣言，所以齐普甩了她，他说他今晚要来我家！

Fat Monica

Oh that's so great!

那太好了！

Big Nosed Rachel

I know!

我知道！

Fat Monica

Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.

哦天，你和齐普今晚的一切一定要一点不漏地告诉我。

Big Nosed Rachel

Oh totally, totally. Y'know it's not that big of deal, we already kinda did it once y'know.

一定、一定。你知道，其实我们已经做过一次了。

Fat Monica

I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!

我知道，不过这次你会清楚地知道自己究竟做没做！

Big Nosed Rachel

I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that this time it will last at least for an entire song!

我知道，这次齐普保证说他一定会持续一首歌的长度！

Ross

So I'm thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.

我想今晚约瑞秋出去，也许为她演奏我们上周写的歌。

Chandler

Emotional Knapsack?

情感背包？

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

Right on! Oh! Uh, but, don't take too long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez.

加油！哦，不过别弄太久，好吗？因为我们今晚还要试试假身份证呢，对吧，科立夫·阿华滋？

Ross

Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, I'm gonna be out with her all night.

听着，罗兰·钱，如果进展顺利，我们会呆一整个晚上。

Chandler

Dude, don't do that to me!

伙计，别这样对我！

(Monica enters behind them.)

（莫妮卡从他们后面进来。）

Ross

All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.

没关系，你可以住在这里，我父母不会介意。

(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)

（莫妮卡突然变得很高兴。）

Chandler

No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.

不，我才不想在这里看你肥妞妹妹呢。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)

（听到这话，莫妮卡崩溃了，冲了出去。被父母拦住。）

Mrs. Geller

(holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.

（拿着两个派）莫妮卡，你把这些派吃了怎么样？冰箱里没位置了。

Fat Monica

No. No, thank you!

不，不，谢谢！

Mr. Geller

Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!

朱蒂，你算了吧！她已经很饱了！

Commercial Break

广告时间

Chandler

I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!

我叫你肥妞？我都不记得了！

Monica

Well, I do.

可我记得！

Chandler

I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!

我很抱歉，我当时真是白痴。我真应该到广场上去号啕大哭！

Phoebe

Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.

简直不能相信，你居然叫她肥妞。

Ross

I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.

我不能相信你让乔治·迈克尔揍你。

Chandler

I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.

我真的很抱歉，真的真的抱歉。

Rachel

Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.

事实上，我想讲的故事不是这个。

Monica

Yes, it was!

是的，是这个！

Rachel

No, it wasn't. It was actually the...

不，不是。事实上是……

Monica

(interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!

（打断她）好了，感恩节结束了，该准备圣诞了。谁想陪我去买圣诞树？

Phoebe

Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story!

我有一个最好的圣诞故事！

Chandler

We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story!

我们想听莫妮卡的感恩节故事！

Phoebe

Fine, all right, mine had a dwarf that got broke in half, but y'know whatever.

好吧，我的是侏儒变成两截的故事，那就算了。

Thanksgiving 1988

1988年感恩节

Mrs. Geller

So Rachel, your mom tells me you changed your major again.

瑞秋，你妈妈说你又换专业了？

Rachel

Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.

哦，是的，我又换了。因为心理学楼旁边没有停车位。

Mr. Geller

(entering) Hi Rachel.

（进来）嗨，瑞秋。

Rachel

Oh hi!

哦，嗨！

Mr. Geller

Wow, love your new nose!

哇！新鼻子真不错！

Mrs. Geller

Jack.

杰克。

Mr. Geller

What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)

什么？维尔森医生简直是艺术家，他把我的胎记都除了，看看吗？（他正要给她看，门铃响了。）

Mrs. Geller

I'll get it.

我去开。

Rachel

No, God! Please, let me! (Runs out.)

不，天哪！我来开！（跑出去。）

(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice.)

（她开门，门外是钱德勒和罗斯。不幸的是，他们好像把节日搞混了，以为今天是万圣节，打扮成《迈阿密风云》里的克罗基特和塔布斯。）

Rachel

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

Hey. (To his parents) Happy Thanksgiving!

嘿。（对父母）感恩节快乐！

Mr. Geller

(To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!

（对钱德勒）天哪，你的发型变了嘛！

Chandler

Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)

对，我们讨论了发型。简直不能相信以前我们看起来有多傻。（两人赶紧把袖子撸到手肘以上。）

Ross

So uh, where's Monica?

呃，莫妮卡在哪？

Mrs. Geller

She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.

她在楼上。莫妮卡！下来！大家都到了！罗斯、瑞秋，还有那个讨厌感恩节的男孩。

(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)

（莫妮卡进来，但她忘了点东西。哦，大约150磅。换句话说，她瘦了，大瘦特瘦！）

Monica

Hi, Chandler.

嗨，钱德。

Chandler

Oh my God!

哦我的天！

Monica

What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)

怎、怎么？我衣服上有脏东西？（她转过身，确保他看个清楚。）

Chandler

You just, you look so different! Terrific! That dress! That body!

你，你看起来大不一样！太棒了！那衣服！那身段！

Ross

Dude!

色小子！

Chandler

Sorry!

对不起！

Mrs. Geller

Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.

对、对，莫妮卡瘦了，这很好。但是我们更想听听罗斯的新女朋友。

Ross

Oh mom! Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!

哦妈～好，她的名字是卡萝尔。她又聪明又漂亮。而且她还在曲棍球队和高尔夫队。相信吗？她居然能为两个球队效力！

Monica

So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.

那么钱德，我们呆会儿见。

(She heads for the kitchen and Chandler watches her leave and admires the view.)

（她走向厨房，钱德勒目送她离开，欣赏着背影。）

Mr. Geller

Dude!

色小子！

Chandler

Sorry.

对不起。

(In the kitchen.)

（在厨房里。）

Rachel

(entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!

（进来）哦上帝，太好了！你总算报仇了！他的口水都快留出来了！那感觉一定很棒！

Monica

Well it didn't!

还没有够！

Rachel

What?!

什么？

Monica

Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!

我的意思是，我看起来是很漂亮了，我心里也没疙瘩了。但是我不只是想这样报仇，我还要羞辱他。我想把他剥得精光，然后指着他笑！

Rachel

Okay, that we may be able to do.

好，那就这样做。

Monica

How?

怎么做？

Rachel

Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.

男生只有在想做爱前才脱光。

Monica

What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!

什么？我之所以辛苦地减肥，是为了把我的花蕾献给我爱的人！

Rachel

Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.

首先，如果你还把它叫什么花蕾，没人会理你。其次，你并不需要和他上床，只需要让他以为你想要。

Monica

Yeah.

对。

Rachel

Yeah.

对。

Monica

And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!

然后等他脱光了，我就把他推到前院，锁上门，让邻居们都看到。

Rachel

Then, you will definitely get him back!

那时候，你就算真报仇了！

Monica

Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?

那我怎么让他以为我想和他上床？

Rachel

Okay, oh, here's what you do. Just act like everything around you turns you on.

你应该这么做——使自己浑身散发魅力，什么东西都能带来性感。

Monica

What do you mean?

什么意思？

Rachel

Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.

像……呣……像这块毛巾！哦～哦，这样使我的脸舒服多了。如果你热了，你还能用它擦擦汗。交谈的时候你还能把它放在一侧，或者让它穿过你的手指。

Monica

(excited) I can do that!

（兴奋地）我懂了！

Rachel

Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)

好，好。他过来了，他过来了。（对钱德勒）嘿，怎么了？（她离开，关上门。）

Chandler

Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.

莫妮卡，能不能给我做上年一样的通心面和干酪？

Monica

Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love the way this box feels against my cheek.

呣，我很乐意。（她走过去拿起盒子，决定照瑞秋的建议做，把盒子贴在脸颊上。）哦，我喜欢通心面和干酪，我喜欢这盒子摩擦我脸的感觉。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Monica

Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and y'know if I get really hot umm, I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and umm, I put the cold steel against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)

哦，我还喜欢红萝卜！哦！（她拿起一把胡萝卜，夹在手指间。）有时候我喜欢这样把它们穿过手指，然后在说话的时候把它们放在这里。（她用胡萝卜蹭着胯部。）嗯，还有，如果我感觉到很热，我就拿起这把刀，然后用冰凉的钢面摩擦……我的身体。（她一手拿胡萝卜，脸和肩膀夹着盒子，用刀蹭肚子。）

Chandler

Are you all right?

你没事吧？

Monica

Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that--- (She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)

哦当然，我很好，只是……（盒子掉了，她下意识用胳膊去接，刀滑脱，慢悠悠地在空中翻了几圈，刀尖朝下扎进了钱德勒的鞋里。）

The Doctor

What do we got here?

病人什么情况？

The Paramedic

Twenty year old has got a severed toe on his right foot.

男性，二十岁，右脚一趾被切断。

(They go through the doors into the trauma room, opening them by ramming the gurney through them, only Chandler's foot is hanging off the end and he screams in pain.)

（他们推着担架车冲进创伤室，钱德勒的脚悬在车尾，他疼得大叫。）

Ross

Can you please not do that feet first? You know where his injury is! Severed toe, you just said it!

你们就不能轻点吗？都知道他是伤了脚趾！

The Doctor

It says here that the knife went right through your shoe.

这写着刀穿透了你的鞋子。

Mr. Geller

Of course it did. They're made of wicker.

当然穿了，这只是双凉皮鞋。

The Doctor

Did you bring the toe?

脚趾带来了吗？

Monica

Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)

是的，在冰里！（她从包里拿出一袋冰递给医生。）

The Doctor

(opening it) Don't worry son, we'll just attach it and--- (Stops suddenly.)

（打开）别担心孩子，我们会把它接上然后……（突然停住。）

Monica

What?! What is it?

什么？这是什么？

The Doctor

You brought a carrot.

你带了一段萝卜。

Chandler

What?

什么？

The Doctor

This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.

这不是你的脚趾，这只是一小段冻萝卜。

Rachel

You brought a carrot?!

你带了段萝卜？

Mrs. Geller

Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.

哦上帝，我的厨房里有只脚趾。

Monica

God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!

上帝，对不起，我现在就去取！

The Doctor

It's too late, all we can do now is sew up the wound.

太晚了，我们现在能做的只是包扎伤口。

Chandler

Without my toe?! I need my toe!

就没脚趾了！我要我的脚趾！

Monica

Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!

等等，我会很快的！爸，把你保时捷的钥匙给我！

Mr. Geller

Oh, I'm not falling for that one!

我可不上那个当！

Present Day

现在

Chandler

That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!

这就是为什么我失去我的脚趾？就因为我叫你胖妞？

Monica

I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.

我不是故意的，这是意外！

Chandler

That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps-A-Lot?!

这就是为什么整整一年人们都叫我“跛子先生”？

Monica

I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!

对不起，但那也不是整个脚趾！

Chandler

Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)

对，我失去的是趾尖，那是精华部分，上面还有趾甲。（他冲了出去。）

Monica

Chandler! (Follows him out.)

钱德！（跟出去。）

Ross

(To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.

（对乔伊）“跛子先生”，那是我起的。

Joey

You're a dork.

你是个混球。

Chandler

I can't believe this.

我简直不能相信。

Monica

Chandler, I said I was sorry.

钱德，我说了我很抱歉。

Chandler

Yeah, well, sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.

是，对，道歉有用还要警察干吗？我恨感恩节，恨所有的感恩节。再见。

Monica

Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?

等等，钱德，我能为你弥补什么吗？无论什么事都行。

Chandler

Yeah, just leave me alone for a while. (He goes into his apartment.)

可以，离我远点。（他走进公寓。）

Chandler

Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" I'm happy all the time!

哦－哦，我是只鸭，快乐的走，无忧无虑的鸭子！

(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)

（有人敲门，钱德勒起身开门。门外是莫妮卡，头上套着一只火鸡。）

Chandler

Nice try.

勇气可嘉。

Monica

Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)

等等，等等！（她给火鸡戴上一顶shriner帽子。）

Chandler

Look, Monica...

听着，莫妮卡……

Monica

Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)

看！（她给火鸡戴上一副大大的黄色太阳镜。）

Chandler

This is not going to work.

这不奏效。

Monica

I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)

我保证有用！（她开始跳舞，钱德勒大笑起来。）

Chandler

You are so great! I love you!

你太好了！我爱你！

(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)

（莫妮卡突然停下，慢慢转过身。）

Monica

What?

什么？

Chandler

Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!

没什么，我只是说“你太好了”，然后就没了。

Monica

You said you loved me! I can't believe this!

你说了“我爱你”！我简直不能相信！

Chandler

No I didn't!

不，我没有！

Monica

Yes, you did!

你说了！

Chandler

No I didn't!

不，我没有！

Monica

You love me!

你爱我！

Chandler

No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

不，我不爱！住口！住口！住口！住口！

(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)

（乔伊走进来，看到莫妮卡。他吓得尖叫着跑回走廊。）

Ending Credits

片尾字幕

Thanksgiving 1915

1915年感恩节

French Phoebe

Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!

纱布！纱布！我需要纱布！谁给我拿点纱布！（帐外一发炮弹爆炸，硝烟散去，菲比的手臂还在。）呼！（她的手臂掉下来，血喷涌而出。）真荒谬，呃？

End

结束