The One Hundredth

Phoebe

(to the nurse) Hi.

（对护士）嗨。

Nurse

Hi.

嗨。

Phoebe

Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.

嗨，对，嗨！我是嗯，菲比·布菲，我就要生孩子了。

Nurse

Okay. Have you started having contractions?

好的，开始子宫收缩没有？

Phoebe

Not yet. Umm, I heard they really hurt, do they hurt?

还没有，嗯，听人说会很痛，是么？

Nurse

Well...

其实啊……

Phoebe

Oh my God!

哦，上帝呀！

Ross

It's all right.

没什么大不了的。

Nurse

Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)

你们谁是孩子的父亲？（指向乔伊和罗斯）

Phoebe

Oh no, none of them are the father. The father is my brother.

哦，不，他们都不是。孩子的父亲是我弟弟。

Nurse

(not sure what to do with that) Okay...

（不知该说什么）好的……？

Rachel

I am so gonna miss watching you freak people out like that!

我以后会很怀念你这种吓唬人的方式的！

Joey

Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?

好的，呃，菲比，快，看这里！这个（他的摄像机）是给孩子们日后看的，在他们出生之前，你有什么想说的么？

Phoebe

Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!

哦，好的，嗯，孩子们，你们好！是我，菲比阿姨。真想早点见到你们。请别弄疼我哦！

(Monica and Chandler come running in.)

（莫妮卡和钱德跑进来）

Ross

Hey, what took you guys so long? Your cab left when ours did!

嘿，你们怎么搞得，这么长时间？你们的出租车不是和我们的一起离开的么？

(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)

（他们停顿了一下，想该怎么说）

Monica

Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.

嗯，我们又回去了一趟，因为我忘了拿外衣。

Chandler

That's right.

嗯，就是。

(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)

（瑞秋和罗斯都盯着她看了一会儿）

Rachel

You-you're not wearing a jacket.

可是你现在也没穿外衣呀？

Monica

Oh man! I did it again!

哦，天哪！我又忘了！

Phoebe

(standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!

（站起来）好吧，嗯，得有人给弗兰克和爱丽丝打电话。（她说话时乔伊把摄像机伸到她裙子底下）然后我妈想知道——（注意到乔伊）——乔伊，你在干嘛？！

Joey

I gotta get the before shot!

在他们出生之前我也要拍呀！

(She shakes her head no.)

（她摇头表示不行）

Opening Credits

片头

Rachel

Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.

嗨，菲比？好的，我们刚和护士谈过，你的医生迟到是因为……她来不了了。

Phoebe

What?!

什么？！

Ross

Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.

她在洗澡的时候摔破了头。

Phoebe

Oh my God, she's so stupid!

哦，天哪，她怎么那么笨！

Ross

Look, Pheebs-Pheebs, it's gonna be okay.

别急，菲比-菲比，一切都会没事的。

Phoebe

That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!

你说起来倒简单，你子宫里又没有三个小孩等着出生。

Rachel

Honey, listen, y'know what? The nurse said the doctor is wonderful.

亲爱的，听我说，知道么？护士说这个医生很不错的。

Ross

Yeah, he's head of the department.

对，他是这个部门的头儿。

Phoebe

All right---Ooh! Oh dead God, save me!

好吧——哦！哦，上帝，救救我！

Monica

What?

怎么了？

Phoebe

I'm having my first contraction!

我第一次子宫收缩开始了……

Chandler

Oh no.

不是吧？

Phoebe

Ooh, it's not bad.

哦，还不错。

Chandler

Okay.

好。

Joey

Oh! (In an announcer type voice) And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! (He grabs his side and doubles over in pain.)

哦！（播音员式的语气）哦！生命的奇迹就要开始了，哎——呀！（他抓住自己的侧身，痛得弯下腰）

Chandler

Hey! You okay?

嘿，你还好吧？

Joey

Ooh, something hurts!

哦，好疼呀！

Phoebe

Ooh, it's sympathy pains. Ohh, that's so sweet!

哦，是心疼我。哦，你太好了！

Joey

Are they? I didn't know I cared that much.

是吗？我都不知道我这么在乎呢。

(The doctor, Dr. Harad, enters.)

（医生哈拉徳医生走进来）

Ross

Hello.

你好。

Dr. Harad

Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)

你好！菲比，我是哈拉徳医生，我来负责给你助产。我想让你知道，一切都会没事的。我干这一行好长时间了。我等一会儿进来替你检查一下。现在，你只需要放松下来就可以了，一切都很顺利！还有，我喜欢Fonzie。（离开）

Chandler

Did he just say, he loves Fonzie?

他刚才是不是说他喜欢Fonzie？

Monica

That's what it sounded like.

听起来好像是这么说的。

Chandler

All right...

好吧……

Frank

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

All

Hey!

嘿！

Frank

(To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?

（对菲比）嘿！我来晚了么？晚了么？还没生，是么？

Phoebe

No-no-no! We haven't started yet. Where's Alice?

还没，还没开始呢。爱丽丝在哪儿？

Frank

Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.

哦，Delaware，她还在路上呢。她没来之前，我来当你的教练吧。别紧张，她把一切有关心理助产的东西都告诉我了。

Chandler

Yeah, that's when if you get the babies out by the end of the month, they give you 2% financing.

对，如果孩子在这个月底以前出生的话，他们会给你2%的财政补贴。

Frank

Yeah.

是吧。

Rachel

(entering) Monica? You gonna be very proud of me. I just got us dates with two unbelievably cute nurses.

（走进来）莫妮卡？你应该为我骄傲才是！我刚和两个非常可爱的护士定了约会。

Joey

Oh my!

哦，天哪！

Rachel

They're male nurses.

他们是男的。

Joey

Not in my head.

我想的可不是。

Rachel

Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?

不管怎样，他们周六晚上带我们出去玩。你觉得怎么样？

Monica

Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.

嗯。（看着正在打电话的钱德）嗯，嗯，我想可能不行。

Rachel

What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.

什么？你这是什么意思？！是你告诉我要忘了罗斯，继续向前的。我向前了，你得和我一起。说说，给我一个好的理由，你为什么不去？

Monica

Umm, why don't you give me something that would be a good reason and-and then I'll tell you if it's true.

嗯，要不你给我一个好理由，然后我告诉你是不是对的。

Rachel

What?

什么？

Monica

Harder than it sounds. Isn't it?

比听起来还难懂吧，不是么？

Rachel

Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.

不管，你要和我一起去。而且我还告诉他们，他们下班的时候如果我们还在这里，就一起去咖啡厅吃点果冻。

Joey

(in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O...

（性感的声音）耶！总能吃得下果冻的……

Rachel

Joey, how do you make that dirty?

乔伊，你怎么把它弄得这么色情的？

Joey

Oh, it's easy. Yeah, I-I can do it with anything. Watch uh, (snaps his fingers and in a sexy voice) Grandma's chicken salad...

（弹响指，性感的声音）外婆的小鸡沙拉……

Joey

(entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies... (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)

（走进来）罗斯！拍一下这个。（他拿着一份《今日美国》，把摄像机递给罗斯）嗨，孩子们！这是你们出生那天的报纸头条新闻。好了，女孩们转过头去，男孩们……（把报纸扔掉，露出一本《Playpen》，就是电视版的《花花公子》）看看这儿！这就是你们出生当月的裸体封面女郎。好的，我们直接跳到好东东上面去吧。（乔伊打开杂志，罗斯把摄像机对着里面）

Phoebe

Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt either---Ooh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.

哦，又来了！这个也不太疼——哦，好疼呀。哦！哦！哦！哦！哦！（看看毯子下面）哦，我还以为就完了呢。

Ross

Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?

嘿，莫妮卡和瑞秋到哪儿去了？

Joey

Oh, a couple of nurses asked them out. Maybe they're with them.

哦，有两个护士约他们出去了，可能和他们在一起。

Chandler

Really? Male nurses?

是么，男的？

Joey

Yeah, I was bummed too.

是啊，我也很失望。

Chandler

So they're going on dates? When?

他们要约会了么？什么时候？

Joey

I think Saturday---(groans in pain again).

好像是周六吧——（又痛苦地呻吟）

Frank

(To Phoebe) What's with him?

（对菲比）他怎么了？

Phoebe

Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.

嗯，同情的疼。开始我还觉得他人很好呢，可是现在我觉得他在抢我的风头。

Dr. Harad

(entering) Okay!

（走进来）好的！

Phoebe

Hey.

嘿。

Dr. Harad

Let's see what we got here. Ohh, y'know, Fonzie dated triplets.

让我看看你怎么样了。哦，你知道么，Fonzie和3胞胎约过会呢。

Chandler

This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?

你一直提到的那个叫Fonzie的人，是不是另外一个医生呀？

Dr. Harad

Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz.

哦，不是，不是。Fonzie 是Arthur Fonzerelli的昵称。the Fonz。

Chandler

All right.

好吧。

(Dr. Harad exits.)

（哈拉徳医生离开）

Frank

It's not that weird, is it?

这并不太奇怪，是么？

Phoebe

It's very weird! I don't want some guy down there telling me, I'm y'know, dilatedamundo!

太奇怪了！我不想让别人告诉我我是个dilatedamundo！

Ross

To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie...

说实话，他看上去并没在模仿Fonzie……

Phoebe

(interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!

（打断）你在干什么？！！你干嘛这样维护他？！给我找另一个医生！找个没疯的、也不像Fonzie的来。

Ross

Again, it's not that he...

其实，他并没有……

(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)

（菲比假装疼痛，让罗斯去找另一个医生）

Chandler

(spotting her) Oh-hey-hey-hey! There you are!

（看到她）哦，嘿，嘿，嘿！原来你在这里。

Monica

Umm, listen there's something I think you should know.

嗯，听我说，我想有些事情你应该知道。

Chandler

Oh, is this about you-you dating the nurse? Yeah, Joey already told me, and I am so-so fine. I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.

哦，是不是你和护士约会的事情呀？嗯，乔伊已经告诉我了，我没，没什么呀。我是说，你和我，其实什么也不算。我们只是玩玩而已。

Monica

Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.

嗯，实际上我正要告诉你，我正打算取消约会的，但是，既然我们只是玩玩而已的话，也许我真该和他出去。

Chandler

Fine! Maybe I will too!

好呀，说不定我也会的！

Joey

(entering from the elevator carrying gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)

（从电梯里出来，拿着给孩子们的礼物）嘿，你们看，我在礼品店里发现了什恩恩恩么。（他在一个坐轮椅的老人面前痛得弯下腰）起来，起来，起来！（老人挥手让他走开）

Ross

Okay, Phoebe, this is Dr. Oberman.

好的，菲比，这是奥伯曼医生。

Dr. Oberman

He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.

他对Fonzie或者其他任何和《快乐的日子》那一伙有关系的都没什么强烈感觉。

Phoebe

Hi! And you're going into what grade?

你好，你现在读几年级了？

Dr. Oberman

Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early...

嗯，实际上我当了一年见习医生了。不过，我很有经验的，我提早毕业了……

Phoebe

(interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.

（打断）哦，我也是，罗斯。也许我该说明白些，我需要一个成人医生。

Dr. Oberman

Oh no, I'm fully qualified to...

嗨，实际上我很合格的……

Phoebe

Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go!

嘘！道奇，嘘！到底有没有人知道我就要生孩子了？？嗯？去吧，出去吧，小伙子！

(He runs out and Frank watches him go.)

（他跑了出去，弗兰克看着他）

Frank

Oh cool! You made him cry!

哦，你真行，把他都弄哭了！

Joey's Doctor

Mr. Tribbiani, I'm afraid you've got kidney stones.

特里比亚尼先生，恐怕你有肾结石了。

Joey

Umm, well, what else could it be?

嗯，有没有可能是别的什么呢？

Joey's Doctor

It's kidney stones.

就是肾结石呀。

Joey

Or?

或者是？

Joey's Doctor

Kidney stones!

肾结石！

Dr. Harad

All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.

好了，就快到了。嘿，你知道么？这些孩子非常非常幸运。

Phoebe

They are. Why?

是么？为什么？

Dr. Harad

They have the honor of being born on The Fonz's half-birthday.

他们正好在"The Fonz"半个生日的时候出生。

Phoebe

Happy birthday!

生日快乐！

Dr. Harad

Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)

只是说明一下，我其实不是Fonzie。（菲比点头同意，他离开）

Rachel

Honey, y'know I just gotta tell you, I think this is such a terrific thing you're having these babies for Frank and Alice.

亲爱的，我正要告诉你，我觉得你为弗兰克和爱丽丝生这些孩子，太了不起了。

Phoebe

I know, it is.

我知道，是啊。

Rachel

Yeah!

耶！

Phoebe

Can I tell you a little secret?

我能跟你说个小秘密么？

Rachel

Yeah!

好啊！

Phoebe

I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)

我想自个儿留一个。（兴奋地咯咯笑）

Rachel

Ohh, I'm gonna be on the news!

哦，我要上新闻了。

Commercial Break

广告时间

Rachel

Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!

好了，菲比，亲爱的，你在开玩笑吧！你知道你不能把他们之中的任何一个留下。

Phoebe

Why not?! Maybe I can, you don't know!

为什么不行？！也许可以呢，而你不知道！

Rachel

Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!

是的，是的，是的，我知道，我知道！弗兰克和爱丽丝想养育他们所有的孩子。

Phoebe

Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?

也许不是这样呢？你知道么？说实话，3个孩子很费事的。也许，他们正在找机会摆脱其中一个呢。听我说，我不想因为没有问而失去这个机会。你知道么？

Rachel

Phoebe, no! This is, this is insane.

菲比，不，这太荒唐了。

Phoebe

Oh, just ask him!

问一下就知道了！

Rachel

Me?!

我？

Phoebe

I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!

总不能让我去问吧？你不觉得这会很不合适么？！我只是想你去和他谈谈，可以么？只是，试探一下他！

Rachel

No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!

不，算了！我不会去要弗兰克把自己的一个孩子给你的。

Phoebe

You're right.

你是对的。

(There's an awkward silence then suddenly Phoebe gets an idea.)

（一阵尴尬的沉默，然后菲比突然想到一个主意）

Phoebe

Tell him it's for you.

告诉他是为你自己要的。

Monica

Feeling a little better sweetie?

感觉好些了么？亲爱的。

Joey

Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.

嗯，好一点儿了。希望你没看见我吐。

Monica

Me too.

我也是。

Ross

(entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?

（走进来）嘿，我刚听说，怎么了？

Joey's Doctor

Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones with shock waves, but they're too close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra...

肾结石！一般来说，特里比亚尼先生，我们要用震动波震碎这些石头。但是它们太贴近膀胱了，我们要不等你自己把它们弄出来，要不就是从尿道伸进去……

Joey

(interrupting) Whoa-whoa! No-no-no-no-no, nothing is going up! Okay? Up, up is not an option---what's a urethra? (Monica whispers what it is in his ear.) Are you crazy?!

（打断）哇——哇！不，不，不，不，不！什么也不要伸进去，好吗？什么也不行！还有，什么是尿道？（莫妮卡在他耳边说了是什么）你疯了么？！

Phoebe

(To Rachel) So did you ask him?

（对瑞秋）你还没问他么？

Rachel

No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.

没有，我还没机会单独和他谈。

Phoebe

Well, I'm kinda on a clock here.

可是，我都急死了！

Dr. Harad

(laughing) Oh Fonzie.

（笑）哦，Fonzie。

Rachel

Y'know who I always liked? Mork.

你知道我一直喜欢谁么？Mork。

(Dr. Harad drops what he's doing and stares at her.)

（哈拉徳医生停下手里的活，盯着她）

Phoebe

Undo it. Undo it. Undo it.

别说了，别说了，别说了。

Dr. Harad

Fonzie met Mork. Mork froze Fonzie.

Fonzie碰到Mork时，Mork酷到让Fonzie感到可怕。

Rachel

Yeah, but umm... Yes, but, Fonzie was already cool, so he wasn't hurt, right?

是的，可是，嗯……是的，但是，Fonzie已经很酷了！所以他没什么事，对么？

Dr. Harad

Yeah, that's right.

嗯，那当然了。

Monica

(entering with Chandler) Hey!

（和钱德走进来）嘿！

Phoebe

Hi!

嗨！

Monica

(To Phoebe) How are you doing?

（对菲比）怎么样了？

Phoebe

Okay, doctor says any minute now.

医生说随时可能生。

Frank

Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?

嘿，你知道么，爱丽丝马上就来了。你能不能帮我一个忙，比如说，先忍住别生？

Phoebe

Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.

对不起弗兰克，我还在上一次帮你忙之中呢。

(A male nurse enters.)

（一个男护士走进来）

Male Nurse

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Male Nurse

Rachel.

瑞秋。

Rachel

Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.

莫妮卡，这是丹（指他），就是我们周六一起出去的其中一个。（对她口型说“归你了”）呃，丹，这是莫妮卡。

Dan

Nice to meet you.

很高兴见到你！

Monica

Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!

你好，丹！我真的好期待周六晚上呀！好期待，好期待！

Chandler

So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?

嘿，丹，你是护士而不是医生吧？好像有点儿女性化的职业，不是么？

Monica

Chandler!

钱德！

Dan

Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.

不，这没什么的。我医学院毕业以后就干了这个。

Chandler

Oh.

哦。

Dan

And it didn't feel so girlie during the Gulf War.

在海湾战争期间我也没觉得这只是女人的活儿呀。

Chandler

Sure. (Pause) And listen, thanks for doing that for us, by the way. (Retreats in defeat.)

当然了！（停顿）听着，顺便谢谢你为我们做的一切。（认输地退开）

Monica

So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow?

嗯，为什么等到周六，你明天有空么？

Dan

Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.

当然了，我找人代班就是了。

Monica

Oh, great!

哦，太好了！

Chandler

(to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?

（对另一个女护士）你看这样怎么样？你和我，周六晚上？

Delivery Room Nurse

No.

不行。

Chandler

All right. Very good.

好的，非常好！

Phoebe

Oo, this is a big one. Eww! Arghhhh!!

哦，这个好痛呀，欧！欧！呀！

Joey

Ohh, get these things out of me!

哦，快把它们弄出来吧！

Ross

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe through the pain.

呼吸，呼吸，忍住痛呼吸！

(Joey starts breathing hard)

（乔伊开始急促地呼吸）

Joey

I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)

我要吃药，罗斯，我要吃药！（他开始前后摇晃，带着罗斯一起晃）

Ross

I do too! I do too!

我也要！我也要！

Joey

Argh!

啊！

Ross

Argh!

啊！

Joey

Argh!

啊！

Ross

Argh!

啊！

Frank

Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!

嗯，我爱你。好，再见！（对瑞秋）嗨！

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Frank

That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!

是爱丽丝的母亲，她说爱丽丝五个小时前就出发了。她应该马上就来了。

Rachel

Oh, honey, don't worry. She's gonna make it on time.

哦，亲爱的，别担心，她会准时来的！

Frank

Yeah.

耶！

Rachel

Yeah. So Frank, three babies. Whew, that just seems like a lot, huh?

耶！嘿，弗兰克，3个孩子，喔，好像太多了一点儿吧？

Frank

(laughs) Not to me.

（笑）对我来说一点儿也不多。

Rachel

Yeah, fair enough.

嗯，不多就好。

Dr. Harad

Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.

好了，只差十公分了！就要开始生孩子了！好的，只要孩子的父亲留下来，好么！

(They all kiss her and wish her luck.)

（他们都吻她，祝她好运）

Monica

Bye Dan!

再见，丹！

Dan

Uh, bye Monica.

呃，再见，莫妮卡。

Chandler

Bye, momi-moo.

再见，momi-moo。

(Everyone except Frank leaves.)

（除了弗兰克，其他人都离开了）

Dr. Harad

All right, I need a clamp, sterile towel, and channel 31.

好的，我要一个夹子，消过毒的毛巾，和31频道。

Phoebe

What is that?

那是什么？

(Dan turns on the TV and the Happy Days theme song comes on.)

（丹打开电视，《快乐的日子》主题曲响起）

Phoebe

Oh my God!

哦，上帝呀！

Dr. Harad

Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.

哦，不，不，不！这个台挺好看的！Fonzie敲着小鼓。好了，你准备好了么？要开始了。

Joey's Doctor

Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)

你准备好了么？要使劲尿尿了。（乔伊做出使劲尿尿的表情）等，等，等，等一会儿，就快要使劲尿尿了！（指着乔伊要尿进去的瓶子）

Dr. Harad

Okay, now push! That's it push! Just concentrate on pushing! Yeah, here we go!

好的，使劲了！使劲！注意力集中，用劲！加油！好的！

Dan

I see the head.

我看见头了！

Frank

Yes, it has a head!

是的，是头！

Dr. Harad

All right. Keep pushing! Come on!

好的！继续使劲！加油！

Frank

I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.

真不敢相信有人要从你身体里面出来了！有人要从你身体里出来了，是么？是么？是我的儿子！

Dr. Harad

All right. Here's your first baby.

好的！这是你的第一个孩子！

Frank

YESSSSS!!!!! We got a baby boy!!

耶——！！！太好了！我们有男孩了！

Chandler

Yes!

太好了！

Frank

Frank Jr. Jr.!!

弗兰克二世。二世！

Rachel

Oh, how does he look? How does he look?

哦，他长得如何？长得如何？

Frank

So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)

一个大胖小子！（他跑回产房）

Dr. Harad

Okay. You ready to push again?

好的，你准备好了么？要再使劲了！

Phoebe

I already had a baby. Leave me alone.

我已经有个孩子了，不要了吧！

Frank

Okay, okay, come on, you can do it. You can do it!

好的，好的，加油，你能行的，你能行的！

(Phoebe screams in pain, and Frank screams with her.)

（菲比疼得尖叫，弗兰克也跟着叫）

Frank

Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)

好呀！小Leslie 出来了！我们又有一个了！哦，上帝呀！我不敢相信我有两个——两个孩子了。这有多可怕呀！（他回到产房）

Frank

Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!

加油，小钱德，该你出世了！加油，小钱德！加油！

Dr. Harad

All right, he's coming. He's coming!

好的，他出来了！出来了！

(They both stare at the newborn.)

（他们都盯着新生儿）

Frank

Hey, where's his thing?

嗯？他的小弟弟呢？

Frank

Chandler's a girl!

钱德是个女孩！

Chandler

Oh God, kindergarten flashback.

哦，天哪！幼儿园的噩梦又来了。

Frank

They musta read the sonogram wrong. 'Cause they, 'cause they thought it was a boy, but Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!

他们肯定看错B超图了，因为他们以为是个男孩儿。但是钱德是个女孩，钱德是个女孩。

Chandler

Okay, keep saying it!

好的，继续说吧！

Alice

(running in from the elevator) Am I too late?!

（从电梯跑过来）我是不是太迟了？

Frank

No-no, everything's okay. Everybody's healthy there's 30 fingers and 30 toes.

没有，没有，一切都很好！每个孩子都很健康，一共有30个手指，还有30个脚趾。

Alice

We have our babies?

我们有自己的孩子了？

Frank

Yeah.

耶！

Alice

(Starting to cry) Oh, we have our babies.

（开始哭）哦，我们有自己的孩子了。

(They hug. And quickly that hug turns into a heated make out session, right there on the waiting room couch. Chandler, Rachel, and Monica quickly make their exits.)

（他们拥抱。很快那个拥抱就变成了热吻，就在候诊室的长椅上。钱德、瑞秋和莫妮卡赶紧离开）

Joey

Oh my God.

哦，上帝呀！

Ross

You did it, man.

你做到了，好兄弟。

Joey's Doctor

Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)

想看看它们么？（他把一个小罐子递给乔伊）

Joey

They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)

它们好小啊！（他和罗斯都满意地看着罐子）

Dan

So, I'll call you tomorrow.

我明天给你打电话。

Monica

Great!

好的！

(Dan leaves as Chandler enters.)

（丹离开，钱德走进来）

Chandler

So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?

你真的要和这个男护士一起出去么？

Monica

Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not goof around with him.

嗯，你和我只是玩玩而已，我想为什么不和他玩玩呢？

Chandler

Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you mad at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.

两个朋友，相互喜爱对方，并有过非比寻常的爱，而且想花更多的时间在一起。但是如果你有更新的字典，而让你讨厌我的话，那我们就得，你知道的，以我原来的那个字典为准了。我为此感觉很糟糕。

Monica

I think you're better than you think you are.

我觉得你比你自己想的要好的多。

Chandler

Really? Okay, so...

哦？真的么？那么……

Monica

(interrupting) Know when to stop.

（打断）别来这套了！

Chandler

Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?

其实，我也觉得该停了。那我们是不是和好了？

Monica

Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.

当然了，我要去告诉丹我不去了。（他们接吻，她开始离开时，钱德开始跳舞。她没有转身）别跳舞！

Chandler

Right!

好的！

Monica

I think you're my favorite.

我觉得你是我的最爱。

Phoebe

Which one do you have?

你抱的哪一个？

Monica

I don't care.

无所谓哪个。

Rachel

(entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.

（走进来）嗨。（对菲比）嘿，嗨！嗯，弗兰克和爱丽丝想让我告诉你，他们还在外面打电话呢。

Phoebe

But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know...

嗯，我是说，你和他们谈过了么？

Rachel

Yeah, umm, no honey.

嗯，还没有，亲爱的。

Phoebe

Oh. It was a long shot. Hey, you guys can I just like have a second alone with the babies.

哦，这可很难说。嘿，你们能让我单独和这些孩子们呆一会儿么？

All

Yeah, sure yeah. Yeah.

是的，当然可以啦。

(They hand her the babies and leave them alone.)

（他们把孩子们递给她，然后离开）

Phoebe

So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)

嘿，你们好。上次我对着小盘子里的你们讲话的时候，就像昨天一样。每个人都说生孩子是我最困难的事，可他们错了——同你们分离才难。哦，你们给了我最大的快乐！我真希望能把你们带回家，每天看着你们。算了，就让我做你们最好的阿姨吧。我知道爱丽丝的姐姐也有游泳池，不过你们住在我这里。好吧，我们就这样了。我们会是最好的。伸出你们的小手。哦！哦！哦！（其中一个孩子开始哭）好吧，如果你们想哭的话……（她开始哭）

Ending Credits

片尾

Monica

Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!

菲比，我们为你自豪！你太了不起了！

Phoebe

I know.

我知道。

Rachel

So does it really hurt as bad as they say?

真的跟他们说的那么疼么？

Phoebe

Yeah. You won't be able to take it.

当然了，你肯定受不了的。

Chandler

So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?

嗯，小钱德竟然是女的，他们准备给她起个什么名字呢？

Phoebe

They're gonna call her Chandler.

他们就叫她钱德呀。

Chandler

That's kind of a masculine name, don't you think?

这个名字太男性化了吧？你们不这么认为么？

Phoebe

Works on you.

你都能用呀！

End

结束