The One With The Worst Best Man Ever

Phoebe

(angrily) That's like the tenth time I've peed since I've been here!

（生气地）这是我第10次在这里撒尿了！

Monica

That's also like the tenth time you told us.

也是第10次你告诉我们了。

Phoebe

Yeah, oh I'm sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, it's a lot easier having three babies play "Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk" on your bladder! I'm so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, 'cause---Oh! I'm pregnant!

抱歉，那一定很难听进去了！告诉你，那更容易跟孩子在你膀胱上玩“制造噪音、制造疯克”！我怀孕后感到很不适！我唯一的乐趣是一杯咖啡，无咖啡因的因为我怀孕了！

Ross

Pheebs, did...you want a cookie?

菲比斯，你要甜饼吗？

Phoebe

(starting to cry) Thank you so much.

（开始哭）非常感谢！

Rachel

So uh, Pheebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?

那么呃，菲比斯，亲爱的，那些情绪波动怎样了？

Phoebe

I haven't really had any yet.

我还没有。

(Monica, Joey, and Chandler all shake their heads.)

（莫妮卡、乔伊和钱德勒都摇头。）

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Ross

Hey guys!

嘿，伙计们！

Chandler

Hey.

嘿。

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Ross

All right, here's the ring. (Shows Chandler the wedding ring he plans on giving Emily)

好了，这是戒指。（给钱德勒看他要送给艾米丽的结婚戒指）

Chandler

(shocked) Yes! Yes! A thousand times, yes!

（震惊）是！是！一千个同意！

Ross

So uh, any ideas for the bachelor party yet?

那么呃，单身汉舞会有何主意？

Joey

Whoa-whoa-whoa! Before you start handing out wedding rings and planning bachelor parties, don't you have to decide who your best man is gonna be?

哇哇哇！在分发戒指和计划单身汉舞会之前，你该决定谁当你的伴郎。

Chandler

Oh, it's awkward. It's awkward. It's awkward.

哦，那很笨拙。很笨拙。很笨拙。

Ross

I sort've already asked Chandler.

我已经问过钱德勒了。

Joey

What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!

什么？他在你的第一个婚礼做过了！

Ross

Joey, I figured you'd understand. I mean, I-I've known him a lot longer.

乔伊，我以为你会明白。我认识他的时间更久。

Joey

Come on Ross! Look, I-I don't have any brothers; I'll never get to be a best man!

拜托，罗斯！我没有别的兄弟，我永远也当不了伴郎了！

Chandler

You can be the best man when I get married.

我结婚的时候你可以当我的伴郎。

Joey

(pause) I'll never get to be a best man!

（停顿）我永远也当不了伴郎了！

Ross

(to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?

（对钱德勒）等等，你两次当我的伴郎，那我就不能当你的？

Chandler

Oh no-no-no, you---yeah, of course you get to be my best man.

哦不不不，你——当然，你当我的伴郎。

Joey

(impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!

（不耐烦地拍钱德勒肩膀）那我呢？你刚才说我行！

Chandler

I'm not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!

我不会结婚的！好吧，这是科学小说作家的问题！

Joey

I can't believe you're not picking me.

真不敢相信你没选我。

Ross

Hey, how can it not be me?! Hey! Hey!

嘿，怎么可能不是我？嘿！嘿！

Chandler

I'm not even... I'm not even...

我甚至……我甚至……

Ross

Fine, y'know what, that's it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.

好吧，就这样。从现在起，乔伊，我要你当我的伴郎。

Joey

Yes! (to Chandler) Shame about you man.

太好了！（对钱德勒）替你丢脸，老兄。

Phoebe

(to her babies) Stop it!

（对她的宝宝们）别闹了！

Monica

What?

什么？

Phoebe

One of the babies is kicking.

其中一个孩子在踢我。

Monica

I thought that was a good thing.

那是好事啊。

Phoebe

It's not kicking me, it's kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Don't make me come in there!

那不是踢我，是在踢另一个孩子。哦（低头看衣服里）！别让我进去那里！

Joey

(entering) Hey!

（走进来）嘿！

Monica

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?

你们有大碗吗？

Monica

Yeah, there's one right under the cabinet.

有，柜子里有一个。

Joey

(grabs it) Thanks.

（拿起）谢谢。

Monica

Why do you need it?

你来干吗？

Joey

Oh, we're having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)

哦，我们明晚有个大派对。再见！（走向门口。）

Rachel

Whoa! Hey-hey, you planning on inviting us?

哇！嘿，你准备请我们吗？

Joey

Nooo, later. (Walks out the door.)

不，晚点吧！（走出门。）

Phoebe

Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)

嘿！！把你的屁股拿回来，崔比亚尼！！（乔伊害怕地走回来。）

Rachel

Hormones!

激素！

Monica

What Phoebe meant to say was umm, how come you're having a party and we're not invited?

菲比的意思是，呃，你们怎么开舞会都不请我们？

Joey

Oh, it's Ross's bachelor party.

哦，是罗斯的单身汉舞会。

Monica

Sooo?

所以呢？

Joey

Are you bachelors?

你们是单身汉吗？

Monica

Nooo!

不是！

Joey

Are you strippers?

你们是脱衣舞女吗？

Rachel

Nooo!

不是！

Joey

Then you're not invited. (Starts for the door again.)

那你们就不被邀请了。（又走向门口。）

Rachel

All right fine! You're not invited to the party we're gonna have either.

好吧！你们也不被邀请到我们的舞会。

Joey

Oh-whoa, what party?

哦——哇，什么舞会？

Rachel

Well umm...

嗯……

Monica

The baby shower for Phoebe!

菲比的婴儿洗礼！

Joey

Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I don't want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)

婴儿洗礼？哇！那听起来好像我很不想做的事情！再见！（终于离开了。）

Phoebe

I can't believe I'm gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I don't know why.

真不敢相信我居然要开舞会了！太好了！（很兴奋）一个舞会！（非常兴奋）耶！！（突然她哭起来，瑞秋过去安慰她。）我不知道为什么。

Joey

This is what I've got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.

这是我为舞会准备的酒水，多喂点。

Ross

Great. Great.

太好了，太好了。

Joey

Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, I've got you, me, and Chandler and I'm gonna invite Gunther 'cause, well, we've been talking about this pretty loud.

好了，按照请贴上，我有你、我、还有钱德勒，我会请巩特尔，因为……我们说得很大声。

Gunther

I'll be there.

我会去的。

Joey

All right---oh! Listen, I know this is your party, but I'd really like to control the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.

好的——哦！听着，我知道这是你的舞会，但我想控制博物馆里的人数。

Ross

Yeah. Tell ya what, let's not invite any of the anthropologists, only the dinosaur dudes!

好。告诉你，不要请任何人类学家，只有恐龙花花公子。

Joey

Okay! We'll need a six-pack of Zima.

好！我们需要六包司马的产品。

Chandler

(entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?

（走进来）嘿，你们在做什么？

Ross

Oh, just planning my bachelor party with my best man.

哦，跟我的伴郎商量我的单身汉舞会。

Chandler

Yeah, well, good luck trying to top the last one.

希望是最后一次。

Ross

Yeah, see, I don't think it's gonna that difficult considering this one won't be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.

这次不会的所以不会很难，在必胜客的基础上。

Chandler

Oh, I'm Ross. I'm Ross. I'm too good for the Hut; I'm too good for the Hut.

我是罗斯，我是罗斯，我很在行。

Ross

Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?

我要去接本。听起来都不错，让它保持，没有脱衣舞或是一切。

Joey

You got it.

你对了。

Ross

Okay, see ya later.

再见。

Chandler

See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.

再见。（罗斯离开，钱德勒笑着挪到乔伊旁边。）计划你的成熟舞会很快乐呢。

Joey

Well, there's gonna be strippers there. He didn't say anything about no strippers.

会有脱衣舞女的，他没说过没有的。

Chandler

He just said, "No strippers."

他刚说“不要脱衣舞女”。

Joey

Oh, I chose not to hear that.

我选择没有听过。

Monica

Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?

看我拿到了什么！看我拿到了什么！看我拿到了什么！（她给瑞秋看她买的东西。她给宝宝们买了一件小皮夹克和一套小牛仔服。）他们为小孩子做的！

Rachel

Little village people.

小乡村人物。

Monica

Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (It's a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)

好了，看这个，这是我的最爱。（是一件给女婴的粉白小裙子。）

Rachel

Oh, that is so sweet!

哦，真可爱！

Monica

I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!

我知道！菲比会喜欢穿上的！

Rachel

Huh. Except, Phoebe's not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.

只是，除非她不能穿。

Monica

Because she's not gonna get to keep the babies.

因为她不能留着孩子。

Rachel

Oh my God! We are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever!

哦天哪！我们在开最伤心的舞会！

Monica

Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after she's done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.

除非我们送她怀孕以后能用的东西。例如普通的咖啡、龙舌兰酒！

Rachel

Oh, and somebody can get those leather pants she's always wanted!

还有她一直想要的皮裤！

Monica

Oh, she's gonna love that!

哦，她会喜欢的！

Phoebe

What the hell is this?! What, did you actually think it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I can't use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, what's my next present?!

这是什么？你认为这让我感觉好点吗？送我两个月后才能用的东西？真荒唐！好了，我的下一份礼物呢？

All

I don't have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)

我们没有了。（其他女人都把礼物藏到身后。）

Ross

Hey listen man, about the stripper...

嘿，听着，有关那脱衣舞女……

Joey

Yeah?

嗯？

Ross

Good call!

叫得好！

Chandler

(banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. I've decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!

（用勺子敲啤酒瓶）好了，小小的宣布。我决定了，伴郎是我的好朋友巩特尔！

Gunther

What's my last name?

我的名字是什么？

Chandler

Central Perk?

中央珀克？

Gunther

(to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)

（对罗斯）感谢你没有跟瑞秋结婚。（他开始离开。）

Joey

Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther don't-don't forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)

哦——哇——等等，巩特尔，别忘了你的衬衫。（他把衬衫给巩特尔，巩特尔离开。）

Ross

Hey-hey, what are those?

嘿，那是什么？

Joey

Oh, little party favours, check it out! (It's a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")

哦，舞会的小东西，看！（是一件T恤，印着“罗斯·盖勒，1998单身汉狂欢”。）

Ross

Wow! Yeah!

哇！耶！

Joey

Oh-oh! (Shows him what's on the back, "Best Man Joey Tribbiani, with a huge picture of him.")

哦哦！（给他看背面，“伴郎乔伊·崔比亚尼”，还有他的大照片。）

Chandler

(banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.

（又敲瓶子）好了，好了，小小的宣布，我只想大家都知道我伴郎的位置还是空缺的！还有呃，（对脱衣舞女）还有新娘的位置。

The Stripper

Great!

很好！

Ross

Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (The museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.

很狡猾，伙计。你的脖子上有辣椒。（钱德勒检查一下跑进浴室。）我只是想跟大家说谢谢，那很好！嘿，星期一早上见。（博物馆书呆子们向他挥手。）谢谢乔伊。

Joey

Oh, hey, don't forget your shirt.

哦嘿，别忘了你的衬衫。

Ross

Oh, thanks! (Takes it and throws it back into the box and leaves.)

哦，谢谢！（拿起扔回盒子里，离开。）

Joey

Okay, hey, museum geeks, party's over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parent's basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.

好了，嘿，博物馆同事，舞会结束了。跟那女士道别。回到你父母的地下室好。好了。（博物馆书呆子们离开，乔伊打开门，把小鸡和小鸭放出来。）孩子们，出来！好了。

The Stripper

Ohhh, look at the little birdies! Are those yours?

哦哦，看那小鸟！是你的吗？

Joey

Yeah!

是的！

The Stripper

Wow, I didn't know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.

哇，我不知道他们还让你养鸡和鸭当宠物。

Joey

Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)

哦对。我还对那鸭子作了良好的训练。看这个。盯着那墙。（鸭子照做。）别动。（鸭子照做。）变白色。（鸭子照做。）

The Stripper

You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.

你看来很在行。呃，我今晚玩得很高兴。

Joey

Oh thanks. Thanks. It was great meetin' ya. And listen if any of my friends gets married, or have a birthday, or a Tuesday...

哦谢谢。谢谢你。见到你真好。听着，如果我的朋友会结婚或是生日，或者是星期二……

The Stripper

Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.

对，那很好。那么，我猜，晚安。

Joey

Oh unless you uh, you wanna hang around.

除非你要留下来。

The Stripper

Yeah?

是吗？

Joey

Yeah. I'll let you play with my duck.

是的。我能让你跟我的鸭子玩。

Joey

Hey, (realises he doesn't know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees it's empty and starts to panic.)

嘿，（意识到不知道她的名字）脱衣舞女！（他注意到戒指盒开着，拿起来看到是空的，开始惊慌。）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Joey

(running and banging on Chandler's door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!

（跑过来敲钱德勒的门）脱衣舞女把戒指偷走了！！脱衣舞女把戒指偷走了！！钱德勒！钱德勒，起来！起来！脱衣舞女把戒指偷走了！

Chandler

(opening the door) What?!

（开门）什么？戒指不见了！

Joey

The ring is gone!

戒指不见了！

Chandler

Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for this---Ah-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! You're the worst best man ever!

呃。给我一分钟醒来——啊哈哈！！你丢了戒指！你是史上最糟的伴郎！

Joey

Dude, this isn't funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everything's cool! I wake up this morning, the stripper's gone and the ring is gone!

伙计，这不幽默！我怎么办？我昨晚睡觉，一切都冷静下来！我今早醒来，脱衣舞女走了戒指也不见了！

Chandler

You slept with the stripper?

你跟她睡了？

Joey

Of course!! (Shrugs.)

当然！（耸肩。）

Phoebe

Hi, guys.

嗨，伙计们。

Rachel

Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebe's way.)

嗨，菲比。（两人都试图躲开菲比。）

Monica

Hi Phoebe.

嗨，菲比。

Phoebe

I-I wanted to apologise if I---y'know seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Y'know it's just the hormones, y'know.

我——我想道歉，如果我——在昨天的洗礼上有点急躁，只是荷尔蒙激素的关系。

Rachel

No we...

不，我们……

Monica

Hormones.

激素。

Rachel

...hormones, yeah.

……激素，是的。

Phoebe

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)

总之，我想跟你们说谢谢，那很温馨。（她去拥抱她们，两人都退缩，以为菲比要攻击她们。）

Monica

Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. That's great. So how-how are things going?

哇，你看起来好多了。太好了。那么，情况怎样了？

Phoebe

Good. Y'know---no-no, okay, it's-it feels like everything's been about me lately, so what's happening with you?

很好。你知道——不，好吧，我只是觉得所有对我来说都有点晚了，那你是怎么了？

Rachel

Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding.

哦，实际上我们只是在说我不去罗斯的婚礼了。

Phoebe

Oh!

哦！

Rachel

It just might be too hard, given the history and all that...

那只是太难了过去的一切……

Phoebe

Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.

哇！这让我想起了我住在大街上的时光，那家伙说我跟他睡的话他给我买吃的。

Rachel

Well, h-how is this like that?

那是什么样的？

Phoebe

Well, let's see, it's not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like y'know a bunch of y'know high school crap that nobody really gives y'know...

好，让我看看，那不是真的那样，因为那是个真正的问题，而你的只是中学时候的一堆废话，没有人真的有……

Rachel

(starting to cry) I'm-I'm sorry, I just thought that...

（开始哭）很抱歉，我只是想一……

Phoebe

Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)

好了，那水有用了。（瑞秋哭得更厉害了。）

Joey

Ugh! I don't know what I'm going to do! I called the company that sent her and they don't care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isn't an emergency, then what is?

呃！我不知道怎么办！我给那公司打电话叫她来了但他们不在意！我打了911，他们向我喊这是紧急救援中心！

Ross

(entering) Hey guys!

（走进来）嘿，伙计们！

Chandler

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey...

嘿……

Ross

I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Y'know, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so...

再次谢谢你们的舞会！他们其中的一个从没参加过单身汉舞会，另一个甚至没参加过舞会。

Joey

So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, that's nice!

那么呃，那结婚戒指，伙计，那很好！

Ross

Yeah, right!

对！

Joey

I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those...

我也许能留下其中一个孩子……

Ross

That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.

那戒指？我祖母第一次来到这国家，那戒指还有她后面的衣服是她的所有了。

Chandler

So you might say, the ring is irreplaceable? (Gives Joey a little squeeze.)

那戒指对你来说是不能取代的了？（捏了一下乔伊。）

Ross

Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.

当然！它在我们家传了好几代了，所有拥有它的新娘都很长寿而且有快乐的生活。

Chandler

So you might say, it's a magic ring.

那你该叫它为魔法指环了。

Joey

(laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.

（轻声笑）对，那脱衣舞女把它偷走了。

Ross

My-my ring? My-my wedding ring? The-the stripper stole my wedding ring?! H-how?! How could this all happen?!

我的戒指？我的结婚戒指？脱衣舞女把我的结婚戒指偷走了？那怎么会发生的？

Chandler

Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why don't you be my best man."

那都从你说“嘿乔伊，你当我的伴郎”开始。

Ross

(dialling the phone) All right-all right, fine! I-I'm gonna call the cops!

（拨电话）好了好了，我要报警！

Joey

Dude, I screwed up, you don't have to turn me in!

我都晕头转向了但你不必把我拉下水的！

Ross

Not on you! On the stripper!

不是你，是那脱衣舞女！

Joey

Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said they're gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.

哦，是的，我做了！他们说等他们抓到了所有杀人犯再去调查。

Ross

Okay, well, we'll call the company that sent her!

好吧，我们致电送她来的公司！

Joey

I did that too! They wouldn't give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again they'd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them I'm missing a ring!"

我也做了！他们说假如我在骚扰的话他们会报警的。我说“你跟警察说，你跟他们说我丢了戒指！”

Ross

So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That there's nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!

那我们什么也做不了？那怎么会发生的？

Joey

Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I...

看，罗斯，我很抱歉……

Chandler

Well, what if we just ah, called her, used a fake name, and had her come to my office?

我们干吗不只是给电话她，用假名叫她来我的办公室？

Joey

Oh, that sounds like fun, but we've got a ring to find!!

那听来很有趣，但我们要找戒指！

Monica

Here's your tea Phoebe. (They give it to her and quickly take a step back.)

你的茶，菲比。（递给她，迅速退后一步。）

Phoebe

(sips it) It's so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.

（喝了一口）真好。（莫妮卡和瑞秋松了口气。）哦，谢谢。

Rachel

Good.

好。

Monica

I'm so glad you liked it.

好很高兴你喜欢。

Phoebe

(sets the cup down) Oh! (Grabs her stomach in pain.)

（放下杯子）哦！（痛苦地捂住肚子。）

Monica

What?!

什么？

Rachel

What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)

什么？（指着莫妮卡）她煮的茶！

Phoebe

Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.

哦！不，我想我刚有了宫缩。

Rachel

You what?

你说什么？

Monica

Oh my God!

哦天哪！

Phoebe

Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.

是的，我几分钟前觉得有一次，现在我知道那肯定是一次。

Monica

Wait, you can't have the baby here! I mean I haven't sterilised it since the guys moved out!

等等，你不能在这里生小孩！在那男孩们搬走后我还没给房子消毒！

Rachel

Okay. It's okay. We're gonna be okay. Y'know what? It's okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!

好的，没关系。我们会没事的。没关系，我去煮热水，再把纸撕碎！

Phoebe

No. It's all right; it's probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.

不，没关系，那有可能是假性宫缩。他们说那在后期会出现这种现象，去拿书。

Monica

Rachel, get the book! The book!

瑞秋，去拿书！去拿书！

Rachel

Okay! (Runs and grabs a book and hands it to Monica.) Okay! Here!

好的！（跑去拿了一本书递给莫妮卡。）好的！给！

Monica

The Bible?!

圣经？

Rachel

I don't know!

我不知道！

Joey

All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And when she comes in hopefully, she won't recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be uh, Mr. Wong.

好了，这很好，呃，钱德勒，你在桌子后。她进来时她不会认出你，因为，哎，她怎么会？呃，然后你呼叫罗斯和我。（对罗斯）你是冈萨雷斯先生，我是呃，王先生。

Ross

Diverse.

不同。

(There's a knock on the door.)

（有人敲门。）

The Stripper

Did anybody call for security?

谁叫保安了？

Chandler

(to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn their backs on her.)

（对罗斯）你很酷呢。（他开门让她进来，他们都背对着她。）

The Stripper

Okay, which one of you guys is Gunther Central-Perk? (Sees Joey.) Hey, Joey?

好，谁是巩特尔·森特珀克？（看到乔伊。）嘿，乔伊？

Ross

Where's my ring? My dead grandmother's wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?

我的戒指在哪里？我过世祖母的结婚戒指？在哪里？

Chandler

Way to be cool, man.

冷静点，伙计。

The Stripper

What's he talking about?

他在说什么？

Joey

There was a ring, in a box, on my nightstand, after you left, it was gone!

那盒子里有只戒指，你走后，它就不见了！

The Stripper

Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?

等等，你们以为我会偷东西？

The Guys

Yeah!

是的！

Ross

We know you took it so just save yourself the time and confess!

省省你的时间坦白吧！

The Stripper

Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I don't need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?

你们是谁，哈代兄弟？我根本不需要偷一只愚蠢的戒指，我每星期赚1600元，你们有谁能？

Chandler

Marry me. (Both Ross and Chandler hit him.)

嫁给我吧。（罗斯和钱德勒都打他。）

Joey

I don't get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didn't take it, and I didn't take it; and you (Chandler) didn't take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! We're trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesn't get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)

我不明白！它整晚都在我房间里！如果她没偷，我没偷，你（钱德勒）也没偷，那是谁？（鸭子叫）嘘！我们正在想！（罗斯和钱德勒同时意识到，瞪着乔伊，乔伊不懂。短停，鸭子还在叫，乔伊明白了，开始指着鸭子。）

Rachel

I still don't get how you know when it's false labour.

我还是不明白你怎么知道是假性宫缩。

Phoebe

Well, do you see any babies?

你看到孩子了吗？

Monica

How do you feel?

你感觉如何？

Phoebe

Okay, I guess. I mean... I don't know, it's just, I guess I know it's going to be over soon.

还好，我不知道，我知道那快要结束了。

Rachel

Well, isn't that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.

那不是好事吗？你说你因此很难受的。

Phoebe

I know. It's just y'know usually when you're, when you're done with the pregnant thing, y'know, then you get to do the mom thing. I'm gonna be y'know, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.

我知道。通常当你怀孕要结束了，你会做妈妈该做的事。但我只会穿着皮裤坐在那里喝着龙舌兰酒。

Monica

Some moms do that.

有的妈妈也会这样。

Phoebe

Okay that's even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, it's just that now that they're in me it's like, it's like I know them y'know, I mean, it's just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.

那更可悲。看，我知道自己会怎样，只是现在他们在我里面，就像我认识他们，让他们离开我可真不容易。

Monica

Aww, sweetie, but it's not like you're not gonna have anything. You're gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways that's even better.

哦，亲爱的，但不代表你什么也没有。你会有侄女和侄子，那更好。

Phoebe

Yeah, okay.

对，真的。

Rachel

No, really. Really, Pheebs, you're not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when they're bad, y'know, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just won't calm down. Y'know?

不，真的。你不用为了要进大学存钱而担心，或者是在他们不乖的时候骂他们，还是当他们不冷静的时候给他们用利他林。

Monica

I mean, you're the one they're gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.

你能躲到一旁跟他们说性。

Rachel

And you just get to be cool Aunt Phoebe!

你是很酷的菲比阿姨！

Phoebe

Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!

很酷的菲比阿姨。我很酷！

Monica

Yeah.

是的。

Rachel

And y'know what else, oh my God, are they gonna love you.

你还知道吗？他们会很爱你的。

Phoebe

They are gonna love me.

他们会很爱我。

Rachel

Oh!

哦！

Phoebe

Thanks you guys! Again.

谢谢你们，再次地。

Monica

Oh, sweetie! (They all hug.)

哦，亲爱的！（三人拥抱。）

Phoebe

You're the best. Thanks. Oh!

你们最棒了。谢谢。哦！

Monica and Rachel

What?!

什么？

Phoebe

Just kidding. Ahh!

只是开玩笑。啊！

Rachel

What?!

什么？

Monica

Oh my God!

哦我的天！

Phoebe

Got cha again, you guys are so easy.

又抓弄到你们了，你们真容易受骗！

Joey

If anything should happen to him...

假如他有什么意外……

Ross

Joey! The vet said it's a simple procedure.

乔伊！兽医说那是很简单的手术。

Joey

So! Things can go wrong! You don't know! What if he doesn't make it?!

可不能出错！假如他不行了怎么办？

Chandler

He will, Joe.

他可以的，乔。

Joey

Yeah, but what if he doesn't? He's such a good duck.

但假如他不呢？他是只好鸭子。

(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys' memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then it's Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then it's Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls' apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and it's concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)

（接着是一小段关于他们对鸭子的回忆。先是乔伊在浴缸里和他玩并擦干他。然后是他们搬进女生公寓后钱德勒坐在沙发上，在床上给他读书，还有他们只有独木舟时他在看《海滩救护队》，鸭子在一桶水里。然后罗斯吃麦片，鸭子看着他。他拿起台灯把鸭子从桌上移开。然后钱德勒把它们赶出女生公寓的浴室，乔伊展示他们在娱乐中心的迪斯科小壁橱，然后钱德勒和他们玩捉迷藏，最后是鸭子扑腾翅膀的各种场景。他们凝视远方怀念鸭子。）

Joey

I'm so worried about him, y'know?

我很担心他！

The Doctor

(coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?

（从手术室出来）有人丢了戒指吗？

Ross

Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! (He grabs the ring, kisses it, and then does a double-take realising where it's been.)

哦我的天！谢谢你！太谢谢你了！（他抓起戒指，吻了一下，然后反应过来它之前在哪里，愣了一下。）

Joey

H-h-h-how's the duck?

鸭——鸭子怎样了？

The Doctor

He's doing just fine, he's resting now, but you can see him in a little bit.

他很好，正在休息，你们很快就能见到他了。

Joey

Ohh, great! Oh hey, listen Ross, thanks for being so cool about this.

哦，太好了！哦嘿，罗斯，谢谢你那么酷。

Ross

No, that's all right.

不，不客气。

Joey

No, it's not. I mean you made me your best man and I totally let you down!

不，不是的。你让我当你的伴郎我却让你失望！

Chandler

Hey, come on, it's not your fault.

嘿，那不是你的错。

Joey

Yeah, it is! You wouldn't have lost the ring, right? Y'know what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.

是的！你就不会丢掉的，对吧？罗斯，你是对的，他该是你的伴郎。

Chandler

No, you should.

不，你该。

Joey

Now, don't argue with me...

别跟我争……

Ross

Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.

嘿！我要选我的伴郎，我两个都要。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Joey

Really?

真的？

Ross

Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my... I mean, I'm lucky to have just one good... (They all start getting emotional.)

你们两个都该跟我一起，你们俩是我的……我幸运是因为有一个好的……（他们都开始情绪激动。）

Chandler

Thanks man.

谢谢，伙计。

Joey

(starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they can't see him cry.)

（开始哭）我去看点东西。（他走开，不让他们看到他在哭。）

Chandler

What a baby.

真是个孩子。

Ross

Total wuss!

完全没用！

(They both turn and wipe their eyes.)

（两人都转身擦眼睛。）

CLOSING CREDITS

片尾字幕

END

结束