The One With All The Rugby

Chandler

Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!

你知道吗，我真不敢相信我居然在修指甲！而且你还说这会很有意思的！（停顿）其实还挺好玩的。还有，你说这儿也有别的男人来的，可这里压根没有其他男人！

Rachel

Chandler, there's a guy right over there. (Points to the counter)

钱德勒，那边不是有个男的么？（指着柜台）

Chandler

That's a mailman! That's our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?

那只是个送信的！那是我们的邮差！（对邮差挥手）（讽刺地）嗨，你好啊。

Rachel

Chandler, don't worry! This doesn't make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.

钱德勒，别担心！这并不会让你看起来不像个男人！（钱德勒开始像女人一样吹自己的指甲）这样就会了！（钱德勒停下来）我坐着什么了？（她低头发现一块巨大的指甲）我可不敢去想这个女人是在抓哪儿的时候弄断这块指甲的。

Chandler

Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?

嘿，你知道从前谁有和这一样的指甲吗？

Rachel

Hmm.

嗯。

Woman

OH...MY...GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. It's Janice.)

哦……我的……天呐！！（没错，你猜到了，是珍妮丝。）

OPENING CREDITS

片头字幕

Monica

Joey let me ask you a question. What does this light switch do?

乔伊，我问你一个问题。这个开关到底是干嘛的？

Joey

Ohh, Nothing.

哦，不干嘛呀。

Monica

Didn't it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?

面对一个不知道有什么用的开关，难道你一点儿都不在意么？

Joey

I know what it did! Nothing.

我知道啊！它什么作用也不起。

Monica

They wouldn't have put it there if it didn't do something! How can you not care?

如果没什么作用，他们就不会把它放在这儿了！你怎么能够一点儿都不在乎呢？

Joey

Like this. (Shrugs)

就这样啊。（耸肩）

Rachel

Well, here's another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?

好吧，那我也想问问你。呃，你知道厕所里面那个银色水龙头是干嘛的吗？

Joey

Sure! It flushes it.

废话！是冲厕所的。

Rachel

Okay, good. Now that since you know, when you come over would you mind actually using it?

好吧，既然你知道，那你到我们那边去的时候，能不能试着用用它？

Chandler

(entering, with Janice in tow) Hello!

（带着珍妮丝走进来）你们好！

Joey

Hey! (Sees Janice.) Ah!! (Janice screams in surprise.)

嗨！（看见珍妮丝）啊！！（珍妮丝惊叫）

Rachel

Guess who we ran into today?!

猜猜我们今天碰见谁了？！

Monica

Janice?!

珍妮丝？！

Chandler

Isn't this amazing?

太奇妙了！

Monica

How have you been?

你最近怎么样呀？

Janice

Oh well, I'm divorced.

嗯，我离婚了……

Phoebe

Ohhh, wow.

哦，哇。

Janice

Yeah, I'm riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)

是啊，我靠赡养费过活呢。（发出那著名的笑声）

Joey

And there it is.

得，又是这套。

Janice

I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, I'll see you tonight.

我过来就是打个招呼。嗨！（对钱德勒）还有你，亲爱的，晚上见。

Chandler

Okay. Bye.

好的，再见。

Janice

Bye.

再见。

Chandler

Bye.

再见。

Janice

Bye.

再见。

Chandler

Bye.

再见。

Janice

Bye.

再见。

Chandler

B-bye!

再见！

Janice

Bye-bye.

再见。

Chandler

Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After it's closed) I can't stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)

再见。（终于把她关在门外）（门关上后）我受不了这个女人了！（菲比震惊，乔伊松了口气）

Phoebe

What?! I thought you were crazy about her!

什么？！我还以为你真的爱上她了呢！

Chandler

Yeah, I know, but all of those little annoying things she did before we fell in love? Like her voice, her laugh, her personality---Well, they're all back! Y'know? And she's picked up like nine new ones!

是啊，我知道。但是，我们相爱之前她那些惹人厌的小毛病，比如她的声音、她的笑、还有她的性格——嘿，现在一个不落地都回来了！而且她还添了大概九个新毛病！

Joey

So what are you doing bringing her here?! There's people here!

那你把她带到这儿来干嘛？！这里还有人啊！

Chandler

Don't worry about it. I'm taking care of it tonight. (Chandler opens the fridge and grabs something to drink.)

别担心，今晚我就能把她搞定。（打开冰箱拿了点喝的）

Rachel

You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.

你才搞不定呢。你从来都没成功和她分手过。

Chandler

(standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I don't have to break up with her this time. We're not involved! I'm going to do a pre-emptive strike! I'm going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)

（站在冰箱门边）这次我根本不用和她分手，我们一点关系都没有！我要先发制人！把这段感情扼杀在摇篮里！我屁股都快冻僵了。（关上冰箱）

Joey

Yeah, try sticking it in the freezer for 20 minutes. (They all look around and then back at Joey.) I'm tellin' ya!

是啊，试试把屁股伸到冷冻区20分钟。（大家环顾四周，然后看向乔伊）我只是一个建议！

Emily

I can't believe you really walk alone here! I mean, you hear such stories about New York.

我真不敢相信你敢一个人走在这儿。我是说，那些有关纽约的传闻太多了。

Ross

No, it's really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.

其实没那么糟的。我一个人的时候也感觉很安全。

(At that moment two very large men start screaming and running towards Emily and picking her up.)

（这时两个身材高大的男人大叫着朝艾米丽跑来，把她抱了起来。）

Ross

Help! Help!! Help! Help!!

救命啊！救命啊！！救命啊！救命啊！！

Emily

No, no, no Ross! Ross, these are friends of mine from home. (Introducing them) Liam, Devon, this is Ross.

别，别，别，罗斯！罗斯，这两个是我的老朋友。（介绍他们）利亚姆、德文，这是罗斯。

Devon

Hey, mate.

嘿，兄弟。

Liam

How are ya man?

你好吗，哥们儿？

Ross

Oh hey, that was a good one, huh? (Imitating himself) Help! Help!

哦，嘿，我刚才演得很像吧？（模仿自己）救命啊～救命啊～

Emily

So how are you? I've been meaning to ring you ever since I arrived but umm, well, I've been rather busy.

你们最近怎么样？我刚到就想给你们打电话来着，但是嗯，我最近一直挺忙的。

Devon

Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?

你知道吗，自从那次U2演唱会之后我们就没见过面了？

Emily

Oh my God. I think you're right.

天哪，我想你说得对。

Liam

(puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.

（搂住她）嗯，实际上我们自从那个早上之后就再没见过面。

Emily

Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)

哦，利亚姆。（罗斯笑着把她拉回来。）

Ross

Oh, Liam. So uh, what, were you guys playing soccer or something---or should I call it (In an English accent) football?

哦，利亚姆。那么呃，你们在玩足球吗——或者该叫它（用英国口音）足-球？

Devon

We were playing rugby.

我们玩橄榄球。

Liam

In fact we're playing a game at the park tomorrow. You're welcome to play too if you want.

我们明天碰巧要在公园里打一场比赛。假如你愿意的话，可以一起来玩玩。

Emily

(laughs) Ross play rugby? I don't think so.

（笑）罗斯玩橄榄球？我不敢想象。

Ross

What's ah, what's so funny about that?

这有什么好笑的？

Emily

Well I mean, you're American to start with. You don't even have rugby here.

嗯，我是说，首先你是美国人。你们这儿压根就没有橄榄球。

Ross

Well, we didn't have freedom here until 1776, either so...

喔，我们这里在1776年以前也没有自由啊，所以……

Devon

So good then! We'll see you at Riverside Park at 2:00! Cheers!

好，说定了！明天两点在河边公园见，干杯！

Liam

Cheers!

干杯！

Ross

Cheers!

干杯！

(Liam and Devon both take a swig of their beers, while Ross takes a swig of his coffee. The Brits both crush their cans, and not to be out done, Ross crushes his coffee cup, spilling its contents.)

（利亚姆和德文都喝了一大口啤酒，罗斯喝了一大口咖啡。两个英国人捏扁了易拉罐，罗斯不甘示弱也得捏扁咖啡杯，结果洒了一身。）

Janice

Oh boy, I just love to sing!

哦，亲爱的，我太喜欢唱歌了！

Chandler

Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.

是的，我知道，但这也是人们抱怨的原因之一，他们付钱是来听男演员演唱《老人河》的。

Janice

Oh, look at us! Who would've thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)

哦！瞧瞧我们这对，谁又能想到丘比特光临了14街的美甲店呢？（发出笑声）

Chandler

(laughs) Okay, we have to talk. I'm just getting out of a very serious relationship...

（笑）好吧，我们得谈谈。我刚结束一段认真的感情……

Janice

I know! And I'm just getting out of a marriage, I mean talk about meant to be!

我知道！我还不是刚从婚姻中摆脱出来，这一切都是天意！

Chandler

Right! I just think that this is happening too soon.

没错！可是，我觉得这发生得太快了。

Janice

Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.

得了，哪儿快了。勇敢面对吧，亲爱的，这次我决不会让你跑掉啦。

Chandler

I hear ya. (Pause) But! Unfortunately, my company is transferring me overseas!

我明白。（停顿）但是！不幸的是，公司要派我出国！

Janice

Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?

哦不！去哪？（倒抽气）是巴黎么？？

Chandler

No! No! Not, Paris.

不不。不是巴黎。

Janice

Too London? No-no, Rome? Vienna? Ooh-ooh, Barcelona?

伦敦？不不，罗马？维也纳？哦——巴塞罗那？！

Chandler

Okay, could you just stop talking for a second? (Thinks) Yemen. That's right, yes, I'm being transferred to Yemen!

好了，你能不能停一会儿别说了？（想了想）也门！没错，是的，我被派到也门去了！

Janice

When?

什么时候？

Chandler

I don't know exactly.

我现在还不大清楚。

Janice

Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.

呃，好吧，那我会一直陪伴着钱德勒·宾，直到你出发的那个时刻。

Chandler

But I do know that it's some time tomorrow.

可我知道是明天的什么时候。

Monica

Done?

好了么？

Phoebe

Yep!

嗯！

Rachel

(entering, with Joey) Hey!

（和乔伊一起走进来）嗨！

Joey

Hey! What's up?

嗨！在搞什么？

Monica

This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them don't work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.

这个开关的事情都快把我逼疯了。于是我把它关掉，仔细检查每一个插座。现在发现有四个插座不能用。也就是说，这四个插座中肯定有一个是受那个开关控制的。于是，我把每个插座都插上能发声的东西，这样当我打开那个开关的时候，顺着声音，我就能知道是控制哪个插座的了。

Joey

(to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.

（对瑞秋）看谁先失聪！

Rachel

Y'know, you-you also could've used uh, lamps and then followed the light.

其实啊，你也可以用灯呀，然后顺着亮找。

Monica

Yeah, well, I'm using noise.

是啊，可以呀。只不过我用声音。

Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready?

好啦！好吧！大家都准备好了吗？

Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises it's Joey.)

开始了——！（她打开开关，一阵嗡嗡声响起。）我听到了！我听到了！它在哪儿？（大家开始找，直到瑞秋意识到是乔伊。）

Rachel

It's coming from Joey!

是乔伊弄的！

Phoebe

Oh my God, that's so freaky! Turn him off!!

噢，上帝呀，太可怕了！快把他关掉！

Phoebe

Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.

哦，嘿，能看看新闻吗？好像下雨了。

Ross

Oh, just hold on a second. I'm watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I don't know what the big deal is. I'm man enough to play this sport.

哦，稍微等一会。我在看ESPN台的橄榄球比赛。这有什么大不了的，我还不是可以玩。

Joey

Dude, you're not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.

算了吧，你连看比赛的频道都订不起。

Janice

(entering) Hey there Ross!

（走进来）嗨，这不是罗斯么。

Ross

(shocked) Hey!

（震惊）嗨……

Phoebe

(whispering to Ross) Janice.

（对罗斯耳语）珍妮丝。

Chandler

Y'know uh, you didn't really have to help me pack.

呃，其实你真的不用帮我收拾行李的。

Janice

Ohh, well when you said all you were going to be doing between now and the time you leave is packing, you didn't really leave me much choice. Did you?

哦，你自己说离开前有好多东西要收拾，除了帮你收拾行李，我还有别的选择么？

Chandler

Well, I-I thought I did but, I-I guess I did not!

嗯，我以为会有很多，其实没多少。

Joey

Hey-hey, what's going on?

嘿，嘿，怎么回事呀？

Chandler

Oh, I'm packing. Y'know I'm-I'm packing 'cause I'm moving to Yemen tomorrow.

哦，我在收拾行李呀，我为明天去也门作准备。

Joey

Thanks for telling me!

谢谢你现在才告诉我！

(Janice runs into the bedroom.)

（珍妮丝跑进卧室。）

Chandler

I'm only going to pretend I'm moving to Yemen, it's the only way I can get rid off her.

我只是假装要去也门，这是摆脱她的唯一办法。

Joey

Ohhhh, good one! And Yemen that actually sounds like a real country.

喔——好主意！“也门”听起来的确象一个国家的名字。

Janice

(leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, I'm gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. It's a real space saver.

（从卧室探出身）钱德勒，进来。我教你怎么把内裤塞到鞋子里，这样节省空间一些。

Phoebe

Yeah, I know, I do that 'cause it makes me look taller.

耶，我也是这么做的，这样能让我显得高一些。

Janice

Okay, Chandler, come on!

OK，钱德勒，过来一下！

Chandler

(to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!

（对珍妮丝）好的。（对乔伊）乔伊，咱俩换换吧！

Joey

Nope. (To Ross) Man look at this! Ross, I can't believe you said you'd play rugby. I mean look how brutal this is!

不！（对罗斯）瞧瞧这个，罗斯，真不敢相信你会去玩橄榄球。这也太野蛮了。

Ross

Hey, I can handle it! All right?

嘿，我自己有数，行吗？

Rachel

Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.

算了吧，罗斯，你和我老爸玩羽毛球都能受伤。

Ross

That's 'cause-'cause you're mom's dog kept-kept looking at me.

那……那因为你老妈的那条狗一直……一直盯着我看。

Joey

(pointing to the TV) Okay, Ross, look-look-look-look, look right here. That's called a scrum, okay? It's kinda like a huddle.

（指着电视）好吧，罗斯，看看看看，看这儿。这叫“并列争球”，一堆人挤作一团抢球。

Ross

And is a hum, kinda like a scruddle?

不就是个球么，有什么好抢的。

Joey

Ross! (Laughs) They're gonna kill you!

罗斯！（笑）他们会要了你的命的。

Phoebe

Well, why are you doing this anyway?

哦，你为什么非得玩这个？

Ross

Well, you should've seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, he's like Joe Rugby.

你真应该见见以前和她约会的那个人。他长得就像个橄榄球似的。

Phoebe

You're kidding! And he plays rugby?! That's so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.

是么？那他也玩橄榄球么？太搞笑了。（反应过来）喔，我总算明白你意思了。好吧。

Ross

Anyway, she thought the very idea of me playing rugby with him was like hilarious. So I'm gonna show her how tough I really am!

你不知道，她认为我去和他打橄榄球是瞎胡闹。我就是要让她看看我有多勇猛。

Rachel

(starts laughing, Ross stares at her) I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're right, you are a tough guy. You're the toughest palaeontologist I know.

（开始笑，罗斯瞪着她）不好意思，sorry，你是对的。你是个很勇猛的人，是我认识的最凶悍的古生物学家。

Joey

All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! It's not like he's...Chandler!

好啦，别开玩笑了。罗斯能照顾好自己的。他又不是……钱德勒！

Chandler

(from his bedroom) Thanks!

（从卧室）多谢夸奖！

Ross

Look, don't worry about me. Okay? I'll just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. I'll uh, I'll be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)

好了，别为我担心了？我会积极跑动，离球越远越好。我会……我会……像那个人一样站在圈外。（他指向一个开始跑动然后被背后粗野拦截的球员）

All

Oh!

哦！

Rachel

Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin' at him.

哦，也许旁边正好有只狗在盯着他。

(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)

（罗斯转身想攻击瑞秋，但乔伊拦住了他。）

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Joey

Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that one---Dude! They're all huge!

罗斯罗斯罗斯罗斯，记得离那个家伙远点，还有那个，那个和那——天哪，他们好壮啊！

Ross

They don't look any bigger than me!

他们看起来也比我壮不了多少。

Joey

Well, maybe that's because you're closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.

也许是因为你离自己太近了，所以自己看起来要高大一些。

Emily

I'm just going to say hi to the lads. All right?

我过去和他们打个招呼，好吗？

Ross

All right.

好的。

Emily

Okay. (Goes to say hi to the lads.)

嗯。（走过去和朋友们打招呼）

(A player comes over and picks up a ball in front of Phoebe.)

（一个球员走过来，在菲比面前捡起一个球。）

Phoebe

(to the player) Hi.

（对球员）嗨。

(The player stands up and smiles. Showing that he has no front teeth.)

（球员站起来笑了笑，露出他没有门牙。）

Phoebe

Whoa! (The player leaves and to Joey) I kinda liked it.

喔～（球员离开，对乔伊）他挺招人喜欢的。

(The referee blows the whistle and the players gather to start the game.)

（裁判吹哨，球员们聚拢准备开始比赛。）

Ross

Okay, I know what I have to do. I've got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe don't know what he's talking about.) Y'know, Red Ross!

好了，我知道应该怎么做。我要变成“红脸罗斯”。（乔伊和菲比一脸茫然）不记得“红脸罗斯”了？！

Joey

I totally don't know what you're talking about.

我完全不明白你在讲什么。

Ross

Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!

好吧，你还记得那次我们排队买《与狼共舞》的电影票的时候吗？有个人插在我们前面，我生气了，冲他大嚷，脸都变红了。“红脸罗斯”啊！！

Joey

No.

不记得了。

Ross

You'll see.

你马上就会记得了。

Emily

Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, it's his first time.

利亚姆，帮个忙，告诉伙计们对罗斯客气一些，他第一次玩这个。

Liam

You don't say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)

完全看不出来呀。（我们看到罗斯带着球跳来跳去，结果球弹起来砸在自己脸上。）

Emily

(to Ross) Good luck, babe.

（对罗斯）祝你好运，亲爱的。

(The scrum forms and the game is underway.)

（并列争球形成，比赛开始了。）

Liam

Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on! (Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)

罗斯！罗斯！快来，到这儿来！（罗斯兴奋起来）罗斯，快来啊！（罗斯走到争球区，四处转悠想找个办法挤进去。）

Liam

Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!

罗斯，快来啊！挤到人堆里来。罗斯，快进来！

(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)

（在队友们的催促下，罗斯跳上争球堆，一头栽进中间，两只脚直直地竖在外面。）

Ross

JOEY!!!!!!

乔伊！！！！！！

Rachel

You...are...not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?

你……肯定不会相信的！乔施今天到我这儿来了，猜猜发生了什么事？

Monica

He asked you out?!

他约你出去？！

Rachel

No. But I was showing him some cufflinks and I felt his pulse.

没有。我让他看了一些袖扣样本，顺便摸了摸他的脉搏！

Monica

Saucy!

聪明！

Rachel

(refers to the table) What are these?

（指着桌子）这些是什么？

Monica

Electrical plans for the building.

这栋大楼的电路图。

Rachel

Okay, okay, okay should I be scared?

好吧，好吧，你是不是疯了？？

Monica

I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.

我知道那个开关肯定有用，因此我到市政厅去拿到了这个。只需要付上25美元，然后等上三个小时。

Rachel

Wow! If only more people knew.

喔！还好知道的人不多？

Chandler

Y'know you, really didn't have to take me to the airport.

其实，你真的没必要送我到机场。

Janice

Oh please. Every moment is precious. Y'know? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends don't really seem to care too much that you're leaving.

喔，别这样，每分每秒都是宝贵的。还有，总得有人在另一辆出租车上帮你看这剩下的行李吧！而且，你那些朋友好像根本不在乎你离开似的。

Chandler

Well, we're really not that close. (Pause) Okay, so I guess this is uh, good-bye then.

喔，其实我们关系不是很好。（停顿）好吧，那么我们，就此告别吧。再见。

Janice

On no! No! It's not good-bye, I'm not leaving until you get on that plane.

不不，还不到说告别的时候。我会一直陪到你上飞机为止。

Chandler

Okay. Then I guess it's just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, "Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.

好吧。那你就在这儿等等吧。（递给她一个写着“在此等候”的牌子）（对票务员）嗨，我想要一张去也门的假票。

Ticket Counter Attendant

One ticket to Yemen?

一张……去也门的机票？

Chandler

Oh no-no-no, no. No, no, no, I just, I just need a pretend ticket.

不不，不不不，我只需要一张假票。

Ticket Counter Attendant

I'm sorry sir, I don't understand.

对不起先生，我不懂您的意思。

Chandler

What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?

假如一个小孩要拿票玩，你会给他什么样的票？

Ticket Counter Attendant

Are you travelling with a child?

您带着个小孩么？

Chandler

No. All right, y'know what, she's (Points to Janice) gonna think that I'm handing you a credit card, but what I'm really gonna do is hand you a library card.

没有！好吧，她以为我会给你一张信用卡。其实我给你的是图书卡。

Ticket Counter Attendant

Ah, sir a ticket to Yemen is $2,100 and we don't take library cards.

先生，去也门的票价是2100美元，而且我们不收图书卡。

Janice

What's the matter? Is something wrong? Do you have to stay?

怎么啦？出什么事情了？你得留下来？

Chandler

(to the ticket agent) American Express?

（对票务员）运通卡？

Emily

I can't believe they're doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!

我不敢相信他们竟然这样对罗斯。我跟他们说过对罗斯客气些的。

Phoebe

No offence but, y'know sometimes it's hard to understand you, y'know with the accent, so...

你不要介意，不过，你有时候说话口音太重，让人很难听懂。

(The whistle blows.)

（哨声响起。）

Emily

That's just halftime, there's more of this.

才半场休息，还有的他受呢。

(Ross limps over all covered in mud.)

（罗斯浑身是泥，一瘸一拐地走过来。）

Ross

Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!

我的表现如何呀？很不错吧？这比赛太有意思了。

Emily

Right.

没错。

Ross

(to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?

（对艾米丽）嘿，帮个忙，帮我拿瓶水过来。

Emily

Okay.

好的。

Ross

Thanks. (When she's gone he collapses into Joey.) I-I think I'm dying. I really do.

谢谢。（她离开后他瘫倒在乔伊身上）我——我，都快死掉了。真的。

Phoebe

Oh, poor baby.

喔，可怜的家伙。

Ross

(to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!

（对菲比）记得告诉我的儿子，我爱他。（艾米丽拿着水回来）太好了！我还要玩得更爽一些。

Emily

Ross, they are killing you out there!

罗斯，他们会杀了你的。

Ross

(whines "No.") That's not true!

（哀叫“不会的”）不会的。

Phoebe

She's right! You have to stop!

她是对的。你别上场了。

Ross

What? No! No, I'm not stopping. I'm Red Ross!

什么？不，我一定要上场。我现在是“红脸罗斯”！

Joey

Dude, if you go back out there, you're gonna be Dead Ross!

算了吧，你再上去就是“死尸罗斯”了。

Ross

I don't care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!

那我不管，反正我不能退场！我一定要打完全场！

Emily

All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.

好吧，如果你坚持这样的话，至少得让我帮帮你。

Ross

No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.

不，老天！这不是女人待的地方。那些家伙什么事情都抢。

Emily

No. That's not what I'm saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.

我不是这个意思，我知道一些事情能让你给他们点颜色看看。

Ross

I like that.

那太好了！

Emily

Yeah? Listen closely, Devon has got a weak ankle.

真的吗？听清楚了，德文脚踝很弱。

Ross

Huh?

啊？

Emily

One swift kick and he'll back off.

你轻轻一踢，他就不敢上前了。

Ross

All right, bad ankle, got it!

好，踢脚踝，记下了！

Emily

And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesn't wear a cup.

还有那个留胡子的大家伙，他屁股受过伤。还有那边的戴维，我听说他没戴护膝。

Ross

Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!

喔！一个屁股受过伤，一个没有护膝。好！好！

Emily

And uh, Liam, Liam's got bad knees. You hit him right and he'll go down like a lamp.

还有，利亚姆膝盖有伤。你一踢上去，他会像台灯一样倒在地上。

Ross

But-but, Liam's on my team.

不过，利亚姆是我们队的。

Emily

I don't care! You just get him!

我不管！你只管对付他！

Ross

I'm gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)

我这就上去对付他！好，我又要回去了！（像疯子一样尖叫）

Joey

The Red Ross! Okay.

“红脸罗斯”！耶！

Rachel

Hey!

嗨！

Monica

Hi!

嗨！

Rachel

(noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that weren't there originally.) What-what are-what are these?

（注意到门边挂了一堆原本没有的画）这些……这些是什么？

Monica

Oh, just some pictures I made and hung up. I thought they'd brighten up the place. They do don't you think?

喔，就是我画的一些画，把它们挂了起来。让房间显得亮一些，不是么？你不觉得吗？

(Rachel rips one of the wall and finds a huge hole underneath.)

（瑞秋撕下其中一张，发现后面有个大洞。）

Monica

No-no-no, no!

别别别！

(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesn't have a hole underneath it.)

（瑞秋又撕下一张，露出另一个洞。瑞秋接着撕第三张，但这张后面没有洞。）

Monica

I know that there's no hole there, I just really liked that picture.

我知道那里没有洞，我只是很喜欢那张画。

(Rachel looks at it and then throws it away. She then removes a fourth one, revealing a third hole.)

（瑞秋看了看然后扔掉。她又撕下第四张，露出第三个洞。）

Rachel

Oh my God! Look at this!

天啊！瞧这儿！

Monica

Okay, but there is a wire back there! I mean that switch is connected to something!

可是，那开关后面有线。它肯定连着什么东西。

Rachel

I don't care! The wires have come loose in your head!

我不管！这些线让你脑子短路了。

Monica

I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.

我只是觉得，假如顺着这些线查一查，就知道它是干嘛的了。

Rachel

And did you?!

那你弄明白了吗？

Monica

No. It disappears back there behind that baseboard. For a minute there, I thought it went downstairs.

还没有。线走到那层夹板后面就消失了。我在哪儿想了一会儿，觉得线肯定往楼下走了。

(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)

（瑞秋掀开地上盖着一个洞的纸，倒抽一口凉气。）

Monica

But it didn't. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.

但它没有。和查特拉库斯夫人打个招呼吧。

Rachel

Oh my God.

天啊。

Mrs. Chatracus

Hello darling.

你好，亲爱的～

Rachel

Hello, Mrs. Chatracus.

你好，查特拉库斯夫人。

Phoebe

Now, are you sure you don't want to go see a doctor?

你确定不需要去看医生吗？

Ross

Oh no! That-that'll just bring me down! This was great! I mean I-I-I was great! This is a great day! Y'know what? I'm buying everyone coffee. All right? If someone would just grab my wallet, it's in my pocket.

不用！没这个必要。我现在很好。我真是太棒了！今天太棒了！你知道吗？我要请所有人喝咖啡。好吗？帮我取一下钱包，在我口袋里。

Joey

Yeah, sure.

好的。

Ross

No, not you. (Emily gets it.)

没叫你。（艾米丽去拿）

Joey

Uhh, look, your eye's still popping out a little, I'm gonna go get some ice.

呃，你的眼睛还有些肿，我去拿冰块。

Phoebe

Ooh, ice! I am so in the mood for ice! (They go and get the coffee and the ice leaving Ross and Emily alone.)

喔，冰块！我太想要冰块了。（他们去拿咖啡和冰块，留下罗斯和艾米丽单独在一起。）

Emily

You were amazing out there.

你太令人惊奇了。

Ross

Oh, I kinda was, wasn't I?

喔，我的确表现很好，不是么？

Emily

Oh my God!

老天！

Ross

I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I haven't done that since I was four and I washed my dad's Porsche with rocks.

我把一个是我两倍个头的人弄哭了。我上次发飙还是在四岁的时候，帮老爸洗车，用石头招呼他的保时捷。

Emily

You really enjoyed yourself didn't you?

你的确玩得很开心，是吗？

Ross

Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody nose---I mean I-I'm not proud of it but, I really am. And it's all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.

那当然了？你想想看，我打倒了三个壮汉，还打破了一个家伙的鼻子。我是说我并不是为此而骄傲……好吧，我是的。所有这些都是因为你，完美无瑕的你。

Emily

I think you've got concussion.

你不会得了脑震荡吧？

Ross

No, no, I'm serious. Thank you.

不，我是认真的。谢谢你。

Emily

You're welcome. (She hugs him tightly and he winces.) I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?

不用谢。（她紧紧拥抱他，他疼得退缩）哦，对不起，弄疼你了吧？

Ross

It's worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Y'know what, you know what? It's not.

这点儿伤痛算什么？（她又要抱他）哦，要不，还是算了吧。

Ticket Counter Attendant

(on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.

（广播）飞往也门的664号航班即将起飞，这是最后一次登机广播。

Chandler

Well, I-I guess I gotta go.

好吧，我想我得走了。

Janice

Oh, my Bing-a-ling. I'll wait for you. Do you even know how long you're going to be gone?

哦，我的宾——心肝。我会一直等着你的。你知道要去多久吗？

Chandler

Well, just until we find an energy source to replace fuel.

这个么，可能得等到我们发现代替燃料的新能源。

Janice

Oh. Well, I'll write you everyday. (Reading the address) 15 Yemen Road, Yemen.

噢，好吧，我会每天给你写信的。也门——也门路15号。

Chandler

Okay, good-bye. Good-bye.

好的，再见，再见。

(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)

（他把票给票务员，走上登机桥。珍妮丝走到窗边往外看。钱德勒走回航站楼，试图从珍妮丝身边溜过去，但她看到了他。）

Janice

Chandler?

钱德勒？

Chandler

No!

认错人了！

Janice

Chandler!

钱德勒！

Chandler

Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!

珍妮丝！原来你在这，你在这。我还没和你吻别呢。而且你也说过你看见我一上飞机就走的！

Janice

No! No! I wanna see you take-off.

不！不！我要看着你起飞。

Chandler

Well, I then guess I'm going to Yemen! I'm going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?

我想我真得走了。我要去也门了！（对另一个也要去也门的老太太）到了也门之后，我能和你待在一起吗？

CLOSING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Monica

All right. The super couldn't figure out what it did. A $200 an hour electrician couldn't figure out what it did. I've had seven pretty serious shocks. I officially give up.

算了，那个临时演员不知道它是干嘛的，每小时两百美元的电工也拿它没办法。我一连遭受七次重大的打击。我正式放弃了。

Rachel

Thank God.

感谢上帝。

Monica

I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.

我想乔伊是对的，这个开关的确没有什么用。

Phoebe

See? I'm doing it. I am totally doing it. (Suddenly it stops working.) I lost it.

看见了吧，我在控制它，我能控制电视。（突然失灵）超能力消失了。

END

结束