The One With Rachel's Crush

Chandler

Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!

她是主角，是我的女朋友！我跟这部戏的女主角上床了！

Ross

People can hear you.

人家会听到的。

Chandler

I know!!

我知道！

(The play starts.)

（话剧开始）

Chandler

Wow! She looks great. Doesn't she?

她看来很棒，对吧？

Ross

Yeah.

嗯。

(Onstage there's a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We don't see what's going on, only hear it.)

（舞台上有人敲门，凯茜开门。我们看不到发生了什么，只听到声音）

Kathy's Co-Star

Hi!

嗨！

Kathy

Hi!

嗨！

Ross

That is one good looking man!

那是个好看的男人！

Chandler

Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!

只有我看到吗？你能看到他外套里的腹肌吗？

Kathy's Co-Star

Sooo, you've been doing this long?

那么，你做这很久吗？

Kathy

No, you're my first. Put the money on the table.

不，你是我的第一个。把钱放在桌子上。

(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)

（罗斯和钱德勒目瞪口呆，凯茜和她的搭档开始亲热）

Kathy's Co-Star

Oh, yeah! Ooh, that's nice. (They start making out harder.)

哦，是的！哦，真不错。（他们更激烈地亲热）

Ross

Dude!

哥们！

Kathy's Co-Star

Is that an expensive blouse?

那上衣很贵吗？

Kathy

If you want it to be.

假如你希望它是的话。

(Kathy's co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandler's mouth is on the floor.)

（凯茜的搭档撕开她的上衣，纽扣飞向观众席，一颗击中罗斯。钱德勒目瞪口呆）

Ross

Here's your girlfriend's button. (Holding the button.)

那是你女朋友的纽扣。（拿着纽扣）

OPENING CREDITS

片头 credits

Phoebe

Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?

哦，嘿，莫，你还留着中学时的旧衣服和裙子吗？

Monica

Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?

我想有几件的。怎么了？

Phoebe

Well, it's just that maternity clothes are so expensive.

孕妇衣服很贵的。

(Rachel enters)

（瑞秋进来）

Monica

Hey, Rach! I made a pile of your stuff over on this side of the room. If you could just...(Rachel grunts and throws her purse at it)...throw your purses at it.

嘿，瑞秋！我把你的一大堆东西放在房间这边。丽珍，我有一大堆你的东西，假如你只要...（瑞秋咕哝着把钱包扔过去）...把钱包扔过去。

Rachel

Bloomingdale's eliminated my department. (Phoebe gasps)

Bloomingdale's把我的部门取消了。（菲比倒吸一口气）

Monica

Oh my God, are you out of a job?

哦天哪，你有没有了工作了？

Rachel

No, but they stuck me in personal shopping. Which is just a huge step down!

不，他们把我塞到零售部，那可真是个大退步！

Phoebe

Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?

私人购物？那是什么？就是那里你周围满是有钱人然后告诉他们该买些什么？

Rachel

Uh-huh.

嗯哼。

Phoebe

That sounds great!

那听来不错！

Joey

(entering) Hey! (Goes to the fridge.)

（进来）嘿！（走向冰箱）

Monica

Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You can't eat our food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.

嗯，不好意思，我们交换了公寓。你们不能再吃我们的东西了，那轻易发大财之工作已经结束了。

Joey

(Holding a turkey leg) There's gravy?

（拿着一个火鸡腿）有肉汁？

Monica

If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, that's your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)

如果你有大公寓，你就得应付人们随时过来。冰箱要进货了，现在那是你们的房子了。（她拿回火鸡腿）

(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)

（乔伊爬上柜台，开始查看柜顶）

Monica

What are you doing?

你在做什么？

Joey

I think I left a donut up here.

我把饼围留这里了。

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

Hey!

嘿！

Phoebe

Ooh! How was Kathy's play?

哦！凯西的戏怎样了？

Ross

Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin' guy.

凯西半裸了，还跟一个好看的家伙假装做爱。

Chandler

Yeah, it's like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!

那就象有人给我写下我最糟的恶梦，然后收我32元去看！

Phoebe

That's a good idea for a business!

那是不错的生意头脑！

Chandler

I'm totally screwed. Okay, they are gonna be hot and heavy on stage every night, and then they're gonna go to their cast parties and he's gonna try to undermine me. Y'know it'll be like, "So where's your boyfriend, what's-his-name, Chester?" And she'll go, "No-no-no, it's Chandler." And he'll go, "Whatever. Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

我受不了了。他们会大受欢迎的，然后去参加他们的舞会，他会设法破坏我的。他会这样说"你的男友切斯特呢？"她会说"那是昌德"。他又说"管他呢！"

Joey

(to Ross) That-that is a good trick.

（对罗斯）那是个不错的诡计。

Chandler

All right, look, look, what am I gonna do?

好了，看，我该怎么办？

Joey

Chandler, look they're actors. They're there to do a job, just 'cause they work together, doesn't mean they're gonna get together. I mean just 'cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesn't mean it's gonna happen with them.

昌德，他们是演员。他们只是在工作。他们合作并不代表他们在一起了。苏珊莎伦顿和提姆罗宾斯会这样，不代表他们也会这样。

Ross

Oh-oh, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

哦哦，亚历克鲍德温和金贝辛格。

Joey

Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

汤姆克鲁斯和妮可基德曼。

Ross

Yeah.

对。

Phoebe

Hey, Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood.

嘿，梅尔吉布森和克林特伊斯特伍德。

Ross

They're not a couple!

他们不是一对的！

Phoebe

Oh-okay, I get the game now.

哦好吧，现在我知道了。

Joey

Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?

好吧，听我说，我问你一个问题，当他们在台上做的时候真的很热吗？

Ross

Oh yeah!

哦是啊！

Joey

Well okay, so then you're fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as it's hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. It's when the heat goes away, that's when you're in trouble.

那就没事了。规则是当两值演员在台下真的这样做时，他们之间的性压力就没有了。只要台上很热你就不用担心了。当热气没有了你就麻烦了。

Chandler

Really?

真的？

Joey

Look, you guys have been to every play I've ever been in, have I ever had chemistry on stage?

你看，你有去看我的戏，我在台上做过化学实验吗？

Ross

No.

没有。

Joey

Noooo!!

没有！！

Chandler

So uh, man, are you gonna go to the play with me tonight?

嗯，伙计，今晚要跟我一起去看戏吗？

Ross

Y'know what, I don't know how comfortable I am going to see how hot the sex is between some guy and your girlfriend.

我不知道我会多舒服去看他们之间的性爱有多高温。

Chandler

Yeah, I know but...

对，我知道但是...

Ross

Oh no-no-no, I'm there.

哦不不不，我在那里。

Monica

(entering) Hey!

（进来）嘿！

Joey

Hey Mon! Want some pancakes?

嘿莫！要班戟吗？

Monica

You made pancakes?

你做了班戟？

Joey

Yep! Grab a plate.

对！拿个盘子。

Monica

Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)

好。（她照做，走向乔伊去拿班戟）

Joey

No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin' closer.

不，就站在那里。（莫妮卡停下，乔伊向她抛了一块班戟，飞过她的头落在客厅）靠近点。

Chandler

Okay, okay, but don't worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which I'm fairly certain are the same thing.

好，别担心，我们还有谷类食品、松饼、华夫饼干，还有酱料、果冻和果酱，我确定都是同样的东西。

Joey

Listen also we're uh, we're watching the game here Saturday night, if people want to come over.

听着，我们星期六要看比赛，假如人们会来的话。

Ross

Oh yeah!

哦是啊！

Monica

Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game.

哦，我在想请人来看比赛。

Joey

Oh yeah, who's playing?

哦是啊，谁参加？

Monica

The players.

运动员。

Ross

Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.

看来有人当不了女主人了。

Monica

(laughs) Please, it's a relief is what it is, is what it is.

（笑）拜托，那是个安慰。

Joey

All right Pheebs, stick out your plate!

好了菲比，伸出你的盘子！

Phoebe

Oh. (Joey flips the pancake and Phoebe catches it and throws it on her plate.)

哦。（乔伊抛班戟，菲比接住扔到盘子里）

Rachel

(on the phone) Monica, I'm quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didn't even buy it! (Pause) I'm telling you I'm quitting! That's it! I'm talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.

（打电话）莫妮卡，我不行了！我刚帮助一位老人家系皮带，但她没有买！我告诉你我不行了！就这样！我现在就要跟老板谈谈！是的，我！好的再见，当你收到消息时打电话给我。（挂断，老板沃尔瑟姆先生走进来）哦！沃尔瑟姆先生，我真的要跟你谈谈。

Mr. Waltham

In a moment, please, I'm in the middle of a task. And you have a customer.

等等。我正忙。你有客人。

(It's a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually it's Tate Donovan, so it's not like she's really testing her acting skills.)

（是一个很好看的男人，约书亚，瑞秋一见到就迷上了。实际上是泰特多诺万，所以她并没有真的在考验演技）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

Joshua

Hi, I'm Joshua.

嗨，我叫约书亚。

Rachel

Hi, I'm Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?

嗨，我叫瑞秋格林。我能为你做什么，约书亚？

Joshua

Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife...

嗯，我需要全新的衣服。我的妻子，我的前妻...

Rachel

Oh, I'm so sorry.

哦，我很抱歉。

(He walks over to look at some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)

（他走过去看衣服，瑞秋迅速转身调整胸罩，试图展现自己的本钱）

Joshua

Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.

总之，她烧了我所有的衣服。我抢出来两样东西。这套西装和结果变成裙子的一件。

Rachel

Well, at least that's a great suit.

至少这是套不错的西装。

Joshua

Yeah, but it wasn't much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if you're willing, I'm all yours.

对，但穿着裙子拿去干洗可一点不好玩。（瑞秋笑）所以我需要包括内衣的一切，如果你愿意的话，我一切听从你。

Rachel

Okay.

好。

Mr. Waltham

Rachel, you needed to speak to me?

瑞秋，你要跟我谈吗？

Rachel

No-no, that wasn't me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.

不，那不是我！（对约书亚）我们开始吧，我给你看我的内衣。（约书亚转过头）我们的内衣选择。

(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)

（他走出去，瑞秋盯着他的屁股看。他走错了方向）

Rachel

Oh-oh, sorry, it's this way, it's this way. (Motions to the correct way.)

哦哦，抱歉，这边，这边。（示意正确的方向）

Joshua

It's this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)

这边？抱歉。（他从她身边走过，她又欣赏他的屁股）

Chandler

I'm right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now there's no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!

我是对的！对吧？他们之间没有化学反应。之前他们有热量，现在没有了！你知道那代表什么，祖尔告诉我们的！

Ross

All right, let's not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.

我们别作任何定论。他们之间是有一些性爱化学的。

Chandler

Come on, it was like cousins having sex up there!

得了吧，就像是表亲在做爱！

Ross

Here she comes. Don't say a word, okay? Just be cool, don't be...y'know you.

她来了。什么也别说，要冷酷点，别表现出来。

Kathy

Hey you guys!

嘿你们！

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Kathy

Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?

嗨！（吻钱德勒）谢谢你们又来了。你喜欢今晚的吗？

Ross

Oh, absolutely! (Chandler mumbles something.)

哦，当然！（钱德勒嘟囔着什么）

Kathy

Wasn't Nick funny when he couldn't get his match lit?

尼克点不着火柴的时候很有趣吧？

(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)

（钱德勒不张嘴地笑）

Kathy

It's a good play, isn't it?

那是部不错的戏，对吧？

(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")

（钱德勒嘟囔着什么，罗斯让他"别这样"）

Chandler

Oh, I loved the play. You were great, and Nick ditto. Clearly you're having sex with him.

哦，我很喜欢这戏。你很棒，尼克也是。很明显，你在跟他做爱。

Ross

Okay, I... (Walks away.)

好吧，我...（走开）

Kathy

Clearly, I'm having sex with him?

很明显，我在跟他做爱？

Chandler

Oh come on, it was so obvious! There was no chemistry between you two!

得了，那非常明显！你们之间没有化学反应！

Kathy

Okay, so let me just get this straight. You're accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?

好吧，那让我弄清楚。你在指控我骗人，还是在侮辱我的表演？

Chandler

Y'know, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know you're up there every night, you're naked, touching, kissing.

我能看到这怎样发生。你们每晚在上面，赤裸，触碰，亲吻。

Kathy

Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I'm-I'm playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!

是表演！昌德，那是我的工作！我在表演！你怎么不相信我？！

Chandler

Well, you can understand, given how we started.

嗯，你能明白我们怎么开始的。

Kathy

Oh, wow. I can't believe you're throwing that in my face.

哦哇。我不能相信你给脸色我看。

Chandler

Well, that is what happened, and I don't even see you denying this!

这就是事实，甚至看不到你在否认！

Kathy

I'll tell you what, Chandler, why don't you call me when you grow up!

我告诉你，昌德，你长大了再来找我！

Chandler

Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen anytime soon!

对，别指望那会很快发生！

COMMERCIAL BREAK

广告时间

Rachel

I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!

我有了世上最好的工作！最注目的家伙来了，我要整天替他装扮！

Phoebe

Rachel has a new doll.

丽珍有新的美男子了。

Rachel

Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.

但愿如此。我给丽珍找了美男子然后让他们在一起，然后造出这亲吻的声音。哦！他有最美的名字，我从不知道！约书亚！乔舒亚！约书亚！乔什。

Ross

Uh, hello!

呃，你好！

Rachel

Hi-e!!

嗨！

Phoebe

Ooh, what do I smell?

哦，我闻起来怎样？

Joey

I don't know, it smells good.

我不知道，闻起来不错。

(He goes over and opens the door to reveal Monica holding a plate of cookies and a fan to blow the smell across the hall.)

（他走过去开门，莫妮卡端着一盘饼干，用风扇把香味吹过走廊）

Monica

Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven!

新鲜的甜饼！从炉子里新鲜出来！

Phoebe

Ooh! (They all go over to her apartment)

哦！（他们都走向她的公寓）

Monica

Please, have some!

来尝尝吧！

Ross

Oh, yumm!

哦，好吃！

Monica

Yeah, I've just been fiddling around in here making delicious treats for everyone.

我一直在到处瞎搞为了做美味的食物。

Joey

(Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!

（拿着一本杂志）哇！新的花花公子！

Monica

Yeah, it's just something I picked up.

我刚想到什么。

Ross

Cookies and porn, you're the best mom ever!!

甜饼还是色情，你是最好的妈妈！

(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)

（瑞秋无缘无故地大笑）

Phoebe

What? What?

什么？什么？

Rachel

Well, it was just something Josh said about v-necks, but you had to be there.

嗯，约书亚说了有关v领的东西，你该到那里。

Ross

Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck?

对，约书亚穿着V领看起来怎样？

Rachel

It's Joshua.

那是约书亚。

Ross

Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)

哦，不管了。（笑，向乔伊竖起大拇指，走回他的公寓。乔伊跟着他）

Monica

Wait! Wait! This isn't take-out!

等等！这不是外卖！

Phoebe

(getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but...

（起身）讨厌吃饱了要跑，请别走！

Monica

No, wait, please don't go! I've got porn for you too!

不，等等请别走！我也给你拿了色情！

Phoebe

Yeah, I don't need it.

我不需要。

Monica

People are supposed to wanna hang out here!

人们都想在这里！

Rachel

Why? Honey, what is the big deal?

为什么？那有怎样？

Monica

I'm the hostess! Not those guys! I'm always the hostess! I mean, I was always the hostess, I mean even when I was little, I mean the girls brought their dollies to my tea party, I-I served the best air.

我是服务员！不是那些人！我一直都是个服务员！我小的时候女孩们带着他们的新娃娃到我的舞会，我提供最好的气氛。

Phoebe

Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?

在那房子里怎么让大家烦恼？

Monica

'Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But I'm-I'm done now. They've suffered enough.

他们抡了我们的房子，我要你惩罚他们。我做了我们也受够了。

Phoebe

If you wanted to punish them, you should've just made them hang out here!

你该把他们关在外面。

Rachel

Yeah, that's true.

对。

Monica

All right then, when I'm done with this place, it's gonna be ten times better than that place!

那么，这里比那里好10倍。

Phoebe

Oh, are we gonna trash that place?

我们要把他们的地方变垃圾吗？

(Chandler comes back, obviously drunk, and trips over the steps.)

（钱德勒回来，明显喝醉了，绊倒在台阶上）

Chandler

Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girl's apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!

台阶！（他打开自己公寓的门，罗斯和乔伊在看新的《花花公子》）荡妇！（罗斯和乔伊迅速把《花花公子》藏在背后。钱德勒晃进女孩们的公寓）你们都会很高兴听到凯茜跟那家伙睡了！

All

What?!

什么？！

Ross

So you were right?

所以你是对的？

Chandler

I confronted her, and she didn't deny it! (Pause) I don't live here! (Goes back into his apartment and they all follow him.)

我跟她对质，她没有否认！（停顿）我不住在这里！（走回他的公寓，大家都跟着他）

Ross

Chandler!

昌德！

Rachel

Chandler, what did she say?

昌德，她说了什么？

Phoebe

Wait a minute.

等等。

Joey

Come here.

来。

Monica

Are you sure?

你确定吗？

Chandler

Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julie's...

我也许醉了，但我知道她说的什么！然后我去了牛排楚里...

Rachel

Beefsteak Charlie's?

牛排查里？

Chandler

Yes! See you and I have always been like---(motions that they think the same.)

对！你和我总是------（示意他们想法相同）

Rachel

Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joey's.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?

哦。（准备走进钱德勒和乔伊的公寓）哦，嘿，你需要帮忙吗？

Monica

Nah, I got it.

不用，我能行。

Rachel

Ooh, I just feel bad, I never vacuum. (She goes into Chandler and Joey's.)

哦，感觉很糟，我从没吸过地。（她走进钱德勒和乔伊的公寓）

Rachel

Hi!

嗨！

All

Hey!

嘿！

Rachel

So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. It's just so frustrating!

我今天和约书亚一起一小时了，他还没约我出去。真让人灰心！

Phoebe

Why don't you ask him out?

你为什么不约他出去？

Joey

Oh, yeah, totally! That's such a turn-on!

哦，对，完全正确！这可真刺激！

Rachel

Really? It doesn't seem desperate?

真的？也不是令人绝望的？

Joey

Oh-ooh, that's the turn-on.

哦哦，那才刺激。

Phoebe

He just got a divorce right?

他刚离婚，对吧？

Rachel

Hmm-mmm.

嗯嗯。

Phoebe

So he's probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.

所以他可能对女人很紧张，你知道吗？也许，你要踏出你的第一步。

Rachel

Yeah but, I've never asked a guy out before.

对，但我从没约过别人。

Phoebe

(shocked) You've never asked a guy out?!!

（震惊）你从没约过别人？！

Rachel

No. Have you?

没有。你呢？

Phoebe

Thousands of times!! That doesn't make me sound too good does it?

很多次了！那听起来不太好，对吧？

Rachel

I don't even know how I would go about it.

我甚至不知道该怎样去做。

Joey

Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin'?"

哦哦哦哦，我要做的是我从头到尾看一个女人，然后说"嘿，你在做什么？"

Phoebe

Oh, please!

哦，求你！

Joey

(to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin'?

（对菲比）嘿，你在做什么？

(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)

（菲比看着他，然后咯咯笑，转过头去）

Rachel

You know what, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna call him up, and I'm gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin'? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? It's Rachel Green from Bloomingdale's. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we---(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, let's see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) You've done that a thousand times?

我要那样做！我要打电话约他。我能行的。约他出来。（练习）嘿，你好吗？（打电话）嗨！约书亚？我是Bloomingdale's的瑞秋格林。（听）对，嗯，我想知道你是否...嗯...今天把钱包落在店里了？我们找到了一个钱包，我们...（听）驾照？嗯，那是个好主意！呃，让我看看，这驾照属于一个...呃...属于菲比先生，嗯，是啊，抱歉打扰你了。明天见。再见。（挂断）（对菲比）你做过1000次了？

Phoebe

I've never done that.

我从没做过。

Rachel

Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.

哦天，我只是担心他不答应。

Joey

Well, you gotta give him something that he can't say no to. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, you're guaranteed he'll say yes!

你该让他无法拒绝。比如说，尼克队门票！请他去扭结比赛，保证他会答应！

Rachel

Really?! You think that will work?

真的？你认为会成功吗？

Joey

Absolutely! And if it doesn't, can I get the extra ticket?

当然！如果不成功，我能去吗？

(We hear a noise coming from Monica and Rachel's apartment.)

（我们听到莫妮卡和瑞秋的公寓传来噪音）

Joey

What the heck is that?

那是什么？

(They go open the door and reveal Monica being spun around on the floor polisher and getting the cord wrapped around her legs.)

（他们打开门，看到莫妮卡被地板抛光机转着圈，电线缠住了她的腿）

Chandler

Did she call?

她来电了？

Phoebe

No, sorry.

不，抱歉。

Chandler

All right, maybe I should call her.

也许该打电话给她。

Joey

No! Forget her, man! You don't need her, you don't need that!

不！忘了她吧，伙计你不需要她的！

Ross

He's right, what she did was unforgivable.

他是对的，她做的无法原谅。

Chandler

Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong?

哎，对，但你要知道假如我错了呢？

Ross

How might you be wrong?

你怎么会错的？

Chandler

Well y'know, what if she didn't actually sleep with the guy?

假如她并没有跟他睡呢？

Joey

Dude, tell me she actually told you this.

哥们，告诉我这是她跟你说的。

Chandler

She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!

她没有我看了那部戏。那没有热量。支持我，罗斯！

Ross

That's all you're basing this on?

那是你的根据？

Chandler

That's not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat.

那不是对我的支持！看，你说的舞台后面那热量。

Joey

Whoa-whoa, that-that was just a theory! There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out. The lone gunman. Communism. Geometry.

哇哦，那只是推测！还有很多推测没出炉。孤独的枪手，共产主义，几何学。

Chandler

Oh my God!!

哦天！

Rachel

Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too... (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks---(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)

你要跟我一起去看篮球赛吗？（再试）你知道，这很有趣，篮球，因为我刚好有门票...（再试）嗯，谁喜欢尼克队...（约书亚从更衣室出来）

Joshua

What do you think?

你认为呢？

Rachel

Oh! Well, as a single woman, who is available, I think you look great!

哦！嗯，作为一个单身的女人，有空闲的时间，我认为你看来不错！

Joshua

Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?

嗯。（她开始掸掉毛絮，在镜子里打量他）是吗？

Rachel

Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?

对，哦是的，你看上去很好。（她挽住他的胳膊，看看他们作为一对看起来如何）哦是的。是的，这看起来很好。（停顿）嗯，你喜欢吗？

Joshua

I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think I'm gonna wear it home.

我喜欢，我喜欢。我爱死它了。事实上，我想我穿着它回家。

Rachel

Great.

好。

Joshua

All right, thank you so much for all your help.

好的，非常感谢你的帮助。

Rachel

Sure.

不客气。

Joshua

Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.

嗯，我想这就是，我想这就是了。

Rachel

Yeah-eah-ha!

是啊！

Joshua

Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe I'll see you in the spring, with the uh, y'know, for the uh, bathing suits.

谢谢。（他准备离开）也许春天再见，你知道，为了那个，呃，泳装。

Rachel

Oh well, you don't want to do that now?!

哦，你不想现在那样吗？

Joshua

Ah, that's okay, thanks.

啊，没关系，谢谢。

Rachel

Okay.

好吧。

Joshua

Anyway, hopefully, I'll see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)

总之，希望以后能再见到你。（他走出门）

Rachel

Basketball!

篮球！

Joshua

(coming back in) I'm sorry.

（回来）抱歉。

Rachel

I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if you're interested, just as a thank you for this week.

我呃，我有两张尼克队今晚比赛的门票，如果你有兴趣，作为这周的感谢。

Joshua

Wow! That would be great.

哇！那会很精彩！

Rachel

Really?

真的？

Joshua

Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)

对，那会很棒！我的外甥很喜欢尼克队！真是太棒了，非常感谢你瑞秋。（他拿过门票离开，沃尔瑟姆先生回来）

Mr. Waltham

Good morning.

早上好。

Joshua

Hi!

嗨！

(Mr. Waltham admires Joshua's butt as he leaves.)

（沃尔瑟姆先生欣赏约书亚离开时的屁股）

Kathy

(opening the door) Hey.

（开门）嘿。

Chandler

Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that I'm sorry. Y'know? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.

嘿。我只想来跟他说我很抱歉。我像是世上最笨的家伙，我完全明白你为什么这么伤心。

Kathy

Oh wow. I really wish you'd call me.

哦哇。真希望你给我打电话了。

Chandler

Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but y'know I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? 'Cause we've had our first fight, and now we can move on. Y'know, I know for me---(Notices a pair of men's pants on the chair.) Nick's pants?

对，我知道，我也希望我有。但我想这是好事。我们有了第一次吵架，现在我们可以继续前进。我知道...（注意到椅子上有一条男裤）尼克的裤子？

Kathy

Yeah.

对。

Chandler

Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!

嗯。我想我们的第二次架会很激烈！

Joey

Okay, for next time, what do you say?

好，下一次，你会怎样说？

Rachel

I have an extra ticket. An extra ticket. Not, two tickets, I have an extra ticket.

我有一张多余的门票。一张多余的门票。不是两张，我有一张多余的门票。

Ross

So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down?

那么你第一次约人就被拒绝了？

Rachel

He didn't turn me down! He's at the game isn't he? I got the date, I'm just not on it!

他不是拒绝我！他参加比赛了，不是吗？我有约会，只是我不在上面！

Monica

(entering) Okay, it's ready. Come on.

（进来）好了，准备好了。来吧。

Joey

What's ready?

什么准备好了？

Monica

Just come.

来。

(They all go over to her apartment.)

（他们都走到她的公寓）

Ross

Oh my God!

哦天！

Rachel

Wow! Monica!

哇！莫妮卡！

Phoebe

Great!

太棒了！

Ross

This is beautiful!

这真美！

(She has cleaned it, completely redecorated it, removed the carpet, and polished the floor.)

（她打扫干净，彻底重新装修，搬走了地毯，抛光地板）

Phoebe

Oh did you---what did you---did you work for two days straight?

哦你...你做了什么...你连续工作了两天？

Monica

Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?

差不多。（对乔伊）那么，你对地面怎么看？

Joey

I don't know, it looks the same.

我不知道，看起来一样。

Monica

You used to have carpet.

你本来有地毯的。

Joey

Oh yeah!

哦对！

Monica

So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? I'm just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit.

我做了小吃。请你们呆在这儿好吗？我要稍微休息一下眼睛。

Ross

Look, Mon, do you want us to uh, come back later?

莫，你要我们晚点回来吗？

Monica

Oh no-no-no, stay, stay, stay, just keep talking. I'm always the hostess.

哦不不不，留下，留下，继续说。我一直都是个服务员。

(Chandler returns.)

（钱德勒回来）

Ross

Hey!

嘿！

Joey

How'd it go?

怎样了？

Chandler

Well, she wasn't sleeping with him.

她没有跟他睡。

Phoebe

Oh good!

哦好！

Chandler

She is now.

现在她是的。

Ross

What are you saying?

你在说什么？

Chandler

I'm saying that she... is a devil woman! Y'know I mean you think you know someone and then they turn around and they sleep with Nick! Nick, with his rock hard pecs, and his giant man-nipples! I hate him, I hate her! Well, I don't hate her, I love her. This is all my fault really.

我在说她是个恶女人！你以为你认识一个人然后他们回来跟尼克睡了！尼克，和他的大脑肌，庞大的男人乳头！我讨厌他也讨厌她！我不讨厌她，我爱她。这都是我的错。

Phoebe

How? How is your fault?

怎样？怎么是你的错？

Chandler

Because, I-I should've called! Y'know if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never would've gone out with Nick, and they would've ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!

因为，我该给她打电话的！假如我打了她就不会跟尼克出去了，他们不会在床上停下来的。我担心她对那男人乳头！

Rachel

Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.

亲爱的，这不是你的错，你们的争吵并不能证明她跟别人上床是对的。

Ross

Well, if-if she thought they were on a break...

嗯，如果...如果她认为他们分手了...

(They all turn and glare at him.)

（他们都转身瞪着他）

CLOSING CREDITS

片尾字幕

Mr. Waltham

Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.

瑞秋，你的一个客人好像留下了皮夹。约书亚伯格。

Rachel

Really?

真的？

Mr. Waltham

Will you call him?

你会给他电话吗？

Rachel

Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, I'm glad. Rachel, I'd like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin'?

对，当然！我会的！（她拿出他的驾照和她的驾照，让它们面对面。然后她像《太空炮弹》里的黑头盔一样，模仿两人之间的对话）你好，瑞秋。嗨，约书亚。我故意留下我的钱包。真的吗？是的，我只是想再见到你。哦，我很高兴。瑞秋，我有话要跟你说。是吗？你好吗？

END

结束